The Boondocks - Season 3 Edit

A one, a two, a one, two, three.

A 198 pound bouncing baby adult n****.

A 73 year old retired farm worker with diabetes.

A 9. A 9.

A big, fat, funky, nasty, stanky, black,

A bitch is a bitch.

A black fool who hates hisself so much

A black woman's body is the Temple of Doom.

A bunch of guys who make candy?

A bunch of wild ignorant ****as

A combination of the words "thug" and "magnificent."

A couple of months later.

A crab don't wanna see another crab make it.

A cult? That's gay.

A deal's a deal, Long.

A dedicated, fit,

A democracy, you autocratic motherfucker.

A feller can't control what color he is,

A few minutes ago,

A fly little emergency setup over here and

A fourth person and we could run out of food or water...

A goddamn white baby kidnapping charge.

A good cause. What cause?

A hundred gallons of fucking water.

A jail ****a was good enough for momma,

A Jonas Brothers toothbrush,

A limited edition collectable sneaker line.

A little shrubbery art. You planted flowers.

A loser.

A lot of cats right now.

A lot of gas pains. Extreme flatulence.

A lot of people can't handle that fast lifestyle.

A lot of people see me in this shirt.

A man's butt? Excuse me?

A man's butt.

A n****.

A ****a moment.

A pioneer, if you will.

A portly dude, not very fond of African Americans?

A prison full of bitch ass ****as.

A reminder of why it's great to be an American.

A reminder of why it's great to be an American.

A second ago you were gonna kick me in the nuts.

A shit ton to feed this wildebeest.

A shortage of black men.

A single moment of happiness or joy

A small part of your life, man. Just a small one.

A son named Lando.

A steel boot can do to pre pubescent testicles?

A stroll around the block, 'cause I can.

A two piece special with lots of hot sauce

A two third majority vote to pass.

A what? I know, ****a.

A white man promoted you. Congratulations.

A year ago, Lamilton's grandmother

A young lady friend.

A, um... Ahem.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aw, man...

Aah! Crabs on my face. Aah!

Aah! I can't take it no more!

Aah! Is that a Gibbs Aquada?

Aah! Oh, I'll never forget the day.

Aah! Oh, my God!

About all of this end of the world stuff.

About being a freeloader, you smell me?

About doing this damn song.

About every goddamn thing,

About fucking up old people.

About legal matters? What does your lawyer say?

About me on the radio. Yes, I know.

About Patterson's disease? Yes

About stomping people in the nuts.

About talking to anybody about anything?

About that mix up earlier.

About that Steve Wilkos show. Okay, Pops,

About the car?

About the first ****a to be both a Blood and a Crip.

About the safety of the First Family.

About those tickets. Again.

About three miles ahead of you.

About victory.

About why y'all ain't coming out to support your boy.

About women who can't let go of their baggage?

About your safety,

About your special friend?

Absolutely no Africa! No way!

Absolutely no compassion in them.

Absolutely not. No.

Absolutely. I'm looking forward to it.

According to this, the target is Wuncler Plaza.

According to witnesses,

Across a white woman's milk gland.

Across my whole body.

Acting like little bitches, man.

Actually are coming to get you.

Actually, he has promised

Adios, burritos! Ha, ha, ha!

Adopted? Boy you still believe that shit?

Adopted? ****a, you ain't...

After discovering the two were MySpace friends.

After some time passed,

After that, it was more

After that, tremendous stomach pain.

After them!

Again, and again, and yet again.

Against Wuncler's team, and Ed had paid off the refs.

Agency or Unit or...

Agent Flowers, his heart.

Agent Flowers. Jack,

Ah ha. Ettu, Robert? Et tu?

Ah ha. That's what I thought.

Ah, man!

Ah, okay, this is it.

Ah, okay, you can play till he shows up.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Ah ha!

Ah! Lando. Lando!

Ah! Oh, I hate you. I hate you, little ****a!

Ah. You want my brick, you gonna have to pry it

Aha, yes.

Ahem. How y'all doing?

Ain't no sweat, partner.

Ain't nobody in here but me.

Ain't nothing cool.

Ain't nothing thugnificent

Ain't nothing wrong with this crack. Good crack.

Ain't shit cool about jail, nyukka!

Ain't shit happening with my crack.

Ain't that a bitch? Good. He can take your ass

Ain't that a bitch.

Ain't that a surprise.

Ain't that right, Master Ruckus?

Ain't y'all got no food

Akeelah and the Bee to pay my mortgage? No thanks.

Ali Shaheed Muhammad.

All around I see black faces beaming with elation.

All at Robert's expense.

All children his age love stealing cars

All for the love of chicken.

All he ever saw was domestic abuse between

All he wanna talk about is the Bilderberg Group,

All I have is a 5.

All I want to do is be there in person,

All in favor of bitches?

All my big plans gone right down the shitter.

All my Granddad's money.

All my kids is some damn Uncle Toms.

All my life we only had 11 herbs and spices.

All night. Ruckus, are you trying

All of them. Gangs, guns...

All of them. One hundred percent.

All of whom stayed at their house.

All over a fast food promotion gone terribly wrong.

All over Princess Leia.

All right, all right, the only other choice might be

All right, alrighty.

All right, boys, time for bed.

All right, bring it back. There.

All right, bring it in.

All right, but you should know

All right, everybody calm down!

All right, fine.

All right, Granddad.

All right, Granddad. Go ahead, fall in love again.

All right, Huey.

All right, I'll take that for now.

All right, let's move. Call Wuncler Plaza.

All right, my ****a.

All right, so, Thugnificent,

All right, that's true. New game, ****a.

All right, up to you,

All right, we just gonna stay cool

All right, who's ready to sell some candy?

All right, you in trouble now.

All right, you little ****as be easy.

All right, you three are under arrest

All right. One second.

All that chocolate can be bad for your health.

All that money for?

All that shit.

All that time, I was giving up the ass for me.

All that work. All that planning.

All them countries got ****a presidents,

All them industrial strength

All this damn money for extra food and toilet paper.

All this stuff is really yours.

All units, the package is believed to be

All y'all motherfuckers on my friends list.

All y'all ****as can eat a dick.

All y'all ****as gonna see I still got the game on smash.

All you did was turn the water on and hand me a paper towel.

All your bank accounts too.

Alleged suspects.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Allowance? I allow you to live here.

Allowance? Yes, allowance.

Almost each of them.

Almost positive.

Almost virtually certainly not.

Alone.

Already taking away

Already there are 400 confirmed cases

Already? Let's keep partying.

Also based on ignorance.

Also diarrhea accompanied

Also wrong.

Always good to hear from you. Next caller.

Always have.

Always trying to sell you some synthetic chemical

Always walking on eggshells,

America can eat a dick!

America can lick the balls!

America gettin' soft on ****as.

Americans need inspiration.

Amusing.

An average sized man can smuggle more cocaine

An awful lot of money.

And 5000 and you can have this beautiful

And a big black attitude problem.

And a big old tittied white woman

And a brutal kick

And a feature film starring Jack Black.

And a round of applause for my son Uncle,

And a spiritual advisor all first class,

And a Tushioki hands free auto cleaning toilet,

And a woman's desires.

And action.

And ain't never gonna have shit.

And al Qaeda.

And all he had to do was die.

And all his works! And all his works!

And all I get is them mud ducks out there?

And all my bitches I'm calling "Michelles."

And all the fries you can give me.

And all the fries you can give me.

And an excellent producing partner as well.

And an instant message, and a MySpace message,

And another box of chocolate bars.

And another strike.

And apologize for putting Riley in danger like that.

And as for you n****es,

And as long as you can hear my voice,

And at night we'd have some serious,

And be done with it. Huh? No.

And beat you till you pee on yourself again.

And because of my pain and suffering,

And being anally ****d.

And being anally ****d.

And believe me, folks, this was no accident.

And blacker and even blacker and more blacker and blacker

And boy I milked it for all it was worth.

And breathe my air. Just as lazy as you can be.

And by everything I mean sitting here

And can confirm they don't have...

And check this out:

And cleaning up my living room.

And close personal friend.

And cure revitaligo.

And cut out the ****,

And damn it, I don't care.

And Darell here owns his very own motorcycle shop,

And decide to play like a winner,

And didn't care.

And don't forget to comment on my pics, LOL.

And don't own up to nothing.

And don't pay me back, ****a, you good.

And don't worry, Lando,

And drink it right back in again.

And easier to just kill 'em. It just is.

And economic problems.

And Ed the Third gets shot in the chest.

And entertainment to last several lifetimes.

And even had them making they own money,

And even though they don't pay hardly nothing,

And excessive sweatiness.

And feared slightly too, I gotta admit that.

And finally my father, Mister Ruckus.

And freedom I have struggled so hard to provide tonight.

And gave Jennifer Herman a permanent severe limp.

And get a clean shot at the driver.

And get him the help he so desperately needs.

And get in that piece of shit car,

And get paid, ****a. How do we do that?

And get ready for my ass whupping right now.

And get ready to start apologizing.

And get that ass squirting toilet out of my house too.

And give it to all those losers

And giving funds away at the same time.

And go back to how you were.

And going on high speed chases.

And grab some more champagne.

And guess who's my leading man.

And had a wake up call, and I decided

And had your whole lives ahead of you.

And hair care products.

And he do have the number one song in the country

And he does give it all he's got,

And he ended up running down the street

And he failed. He should have knocked

And he got a dance.

And he has an unlikely companion.

And he just got $20 billion in bailout money.

And he just wanted to have a little fun,

And he liked it so much he came out here to meet me,

And he must really be feeling the pressure right now.

And he said, "cross dressing."

And he said, "Yes." Yes.

And he smokes with "cigawettes."

And he talking about he wanna come watch me die.

And he telling me to eat a dick?

And he was talking about changing some shit

And he's calling a home run.

And he's gonna get the troops out of Afghanistan, right?

And he's gonna walk out of that prison with his rectum

And he's just really, really fit...

And he's married to a white woman.

And he's probably buff too.

And help Huey get to Wuncler Plaza

And here's the pitch.

And heterosexuals second.

And his big wife, she don't need to be in the White House.

And his homeboys.

And his peace of mind intact.

And his policies and views and whatnot.

And his sanity. And his humanity.

And home repair service provider?

And home repair work that has just...

And how am I supposed to die in this fucked up chair?

And how bad this is gonna end.

And I ain't playing with you.

And I ain't talking about them

And I also tried to send you a telegraph at the station

And I am first and foremost a lover of beautiful music.

And I am very sorry. I just would like to move on

And I came into the kitchen and I saw my keys were gone,

And I can tell you it's always faster

And I can't have a friend?

And I can't hold my feelings inside no longer.

And I couldn't have that.

And I decided, if you let me go,

And I definitely didn't have no Billy Dee money,

And I denounce, I repudiate, and condemn him.

And I don't ever want to hear

And I don't have any kids,

And I don't intend to stop.

And I don't know if you aware,

And I don't really mean it. You mean you do mean it.

And I don't think I'm gonna do that no more.

And I don't want to hear that old

And I enjoy pork, orange juice,

And I even tried to make a dance, ****a.

And I felt me and Barack deserved a party.

And I figure to have about $30 million in the first two years.

And I got to meet him. Was he everything

And I gotta holler at y'all real quick

And I had to bet everything on this game.

And I hate Ruckus, that son of a bitch.

And I hate your fucking guts!

And I have a fear of going to jail

And I have perfect credit.

And I hope this apology impresses you

And I hurt people and I smoke with "cigawettes."

And I just couldn't do it.

And I just put an actual letter in the mail.

And I just thought he should come over here

And I know she ain't down with your team.

And I mean really fucking stupid.

And I really want the big prize.

And I really, really, appreciate, you know,

And I respect him for everything he did, man.

And I said, and pardon my language,

And I say good for him.

And I say to you now, oh, yes. Yes, it did.

And I think that's real fucked up.

And I thought you were talking about music.

And I thought, "Oh,."

And I told Jesus,

And I wanna apologize to all of you

And I wanna do an album with him.

And I want my goddamn money!

And I want you to come with me.

And I will always be light skinned just for you.

And I'd like for you to come to Spokenhoke with me

And I'll be home soon, okay?

And I'll do whatever you say, man,

And I'll stay here and babysit the little coon kiddies.

And I'll turn your motherfucking teeth upside down.

And I'm allowing you

And I'm asking you how much your life is worth, Jack.

And I'm giving the orders around here.

And I'm gonna make sure those young boys' anuses

And I'm gonna prove it to you.

And I'm never, ever gonna do it again.

And I'm not gonna make them same mistakes.

And I'm preparing for my audition.

And I'm proud of him. Pops, you mean that?

And I'm supporting him. He's good at it,

And I'm trying to be his best friend.

And I'm very, very sorry about your impending demise,

And I've learned my lesson.

And if he like you in the movie of the play,

And if I see you in the street,

And if they be like,

And if you ain't got no money,

And impartial replacement.

And indifference becomes equal to hate.

And is spreading like wildfire.

And it didn't cost me nothing.

And it is all burnt up! Look!

And it's about ******s.

And it's gay.

And it's getting old.

And it's gonna be too late real soon. So, uh, yeah,

And it's not your attitude, it's 'cause you're black.

And Jesus said, "sexy men."

And Jesus was pleased.

And Jesus was pleased.

And just 'cause you technically our uncle,

And just got a promotion from his white boss?

And just ignore all this? Come on, man.

And just like that,

And just when the brown skinned dude from Law & Order

And keep doing what we doing.

And know what else I realized?

And knowing these liberal activist judges,

And Lamilton. I saw what happened.

And lead a normal life.

And let me think!

And look at the determination.

And Ma Dukes is my monkey testicles,

And make sure it's the good stuff.

And make sure those crates get moved over there...

And make sure you clean this headless dickhead off my yard,

And may God bless the United States of America.

And might make me a better man.

And Ming lets go with a fireball.

And more hungry ****as' mouths to feed.

And more reports coming in that hostages

And most men should not take it. Known side effects:

And Mr. George Pissedofferson

And my big titty porn.

And my holy water.

And my Lambo is blue, ****a.

And my scrotum contract in shock

And my supremacy of black Hollywood will be complete.

And neither are you.

And neither should Huey Freeman.

And neither the coaches nor the referee seem to care.

And ******s Don't Die They Just Smell That Way.

And no matter who won,

And no one is allowed to watch Empire Strikes Back

And none of them make you a happier, calmer,

And none of them make you a happier, calmer,

And not allergic to baby oil."

And not doing shit. You know what?

And not just demand bitches, but white bitches.

And nothing, anyone can do is gonna stop it.

And now certain fears that the virus may have

And now he not gonna live, so it's like, why'd I feed him?

And now it's time for me to get my big prize.

And now the Woodcrest team is making a complaint.

And now we have the returns

And now you doing it to me.

And now you mean to tell me,

And now, another crisis brewing,

And Obama Mania is at a fever pitch.

And of course huevos rancheros.

And on the line right now is regular caller,

And one day I'm gonna have eyes

And order some Chinese.

And our arms forward, breaking the hold.

And out of my life forever. You got that?

And own up to this.

And pay the mortgage. What if they find

And people saying the N word all the time.

And private interests.

And really the entire neighborhood.

And record an album together.

And rectal fungus. Almost all who took it

And remember, nothing metal in your pockets.

And remember, nothing metal in your pockets.

And ride on these fools.

And Riley was right. I don't have much time left.

And ruin their life.

And say, "Hey," and they say, "What?"

And see some shit that most people never get to see.

And see the real future that awaits them

And sees his sensitive side.

And she definitely can't die here.

And she got debt up to her wide nostrils.

And she has his name tattooed

And she's... Well, I can't explain it.

And shit, like, uh, negotiate

And shot your boss here in the face.

And show him who the real Karate Kid is.

And since we ain't crew no more,

And so I put on a dress and a wig.

And so Jesse Jackson tried to stand up all swole.

And so much more.

And so sad.

And so we carry the one...

And so, with no regrets, I hereby commit

And some ice cream and cake for your fucking funeral.

And sometimes you kick the wrong person in the nuts

And soon, I will crush Ice Cube,

And still ain't got shit,

And stop Riley before it's too late.

And stressed and, I don't know.

And stressed and, I don't know.

And surrender to authorities.

And talking to you in a calm, soothing voice.

And that bat shit crazy Dr. Ellen Jackson,

And that I'm his faithful manservant, Toby.

And that includes me.

And that is two back to back strikeouts.

And that means helping Obama and doing anything he asks.

And that mission

And that one is out of here. Not a good start for Freeman.

And that reminds me, man.

And that retarded dance, man.

And that, that's Huey's half of the room.

And that's all I need.

And that's all I need.

And that's the moral of the story.

And that's tragic. But now we can both make sure

And that's what this trip is about.

And that's when it hit me.

And that's when Will. i.am called me

And that's why it's legal.

And the 1100 series is some bullshit.

And the CDC warns it could spread

And the cops, he gonna be like, "Oh, snap, Riley a real ****a,

And the elimination of dissent.

And the First Mature, and the Early Misty,

And the flight is 12 hours.

And the God Bud, and the Ice Marijuana,

And the government is lying about 9/11.

And the Island Lady, and the Kush...

And the last two years

And the lives of those around you.

And the love of a strong, black, African,

And the love of a strong, black, African,

And the NAACP never could figure out?

And the other one is a public menace.

And the plan. I knew that if I studied

And the results of the DNA test are...

And the strong love of a black, African, beautiful,

And the whole thing starts all over again.

And them police is waiting outside.

And then even blacker.

And then go after Ed III and his grandfather.

And then go our separate ways.

And then he pulled out a knife and said,

And then it started a riot.

And then my last film was Six Dicks of Separation.

And then that's what happen.

And then tried to harvest my organs.

And then we say, "This is our block.

And then when he was 5,

And then you turn all Bobby and Whitney on us.

And then, you know, by some miracle,

And there was a lot of tension in the house...

And there's nothing wrong with that.

And these beautiful, muscular gifts from God,

And they attacked the guards.

And they be like,

And they kick us the fuck out.

And they parents sent the money

And think about how stupid you are.

And this is happiness. And I shall pursue it, happily.

And this is my only shot.

And this is something we wrote together.

And this is the junior squad?

And this is the Scarface Suite.

And this is the story of my relations.

And this ****a Macktastic, went back to pimping and shit.

And this time I'm rolling deep, nyukka.

And this.

And those red balls are indestructible.

And throw your ass in the air.

And thus oddly likeable.

And to me.

And to prove it, tomorrow I'm going to prison.

And try to crown Obama with a brick, but who am I fooling?

And try to get as many people out of there before it blows.

And try to make the world a better place for me.

And turn that damn thing off. You know how I feel

And Tweedlee bigger dumb fucking ass.

And ugly to get ****d, motherfucker.

And underwear bombs wasn't bad enough.

And until we do that shit, shit ain't gonna change.

And violence in the streets.

And wait to be killed. Shoot.

And watch the magic happen.

And watching Real Housewives of Compton.

And we all know you don't like to be laughed at.

And we be out your life forever.

And we can hurt whoever we want.

And we can play Klan and the Little n****es.

And we can't defend this place by ourselves.

And we don't allow outside calls here.

And we don't let anyone else in the house no matter what.

And we'll never get her to shut up.

And we'll throw in some community service for fun.

And we've been waiting for this matchup all day and...

And what about bitches named Michelle?

And what did I say gay?

And what you doing here?

And what's gonna get us through this difficult time?

And whatever else to win?

And when I go onstage, Jesus wants me to become her

And when I say we, I mean you.

And when people always ask me if I want a medal

And when the cost get too high,

And when you get home, go in my clean underwear drawer.

And Woodcrest wins!

And work on, like, some art and sell art

And y'all think because I'm a pudgy old man

And years from now people will ask of this game,

And you ain't got no chicken?

And you always ruin the endings of stuff, man.

And you are free to go to California.

And you come and hang out in here

And you got Nigerian Monkeypox.

And you gotta say "no homo."

And you know what that means, don't you?

And you should always wear a condom.

And you snapped.

And you the worst.

And you try to get me off.

And you turn around and pimp them out

And you two are going to behave. Got it?

And you was looking hard too.

And you won't get it back, okay?

And you, you an enabler.

And your last name. Taeshawn.

And your shirt too, ****a! Hurry up!

And your stupid ugly childrens.

And, man, did they sell.

And, oh, you guys were losing bad.

And, Tom, you's a bitch ass ****a too.

And, uh, not a bad singer either.

And, uh, what's the other?

And, uh, what's the other?

Annual candy sale fundraiser.

Another damn dime on the end of the world.

Another man? Of course.

Answer it!

Any kind you want.

Any player must be a resident of Wushung or Woodcrest.

Anybody asks, it ain't yours.

Anybody wanna come with me?

Anyone home?

Anyone hoping to get tickets at this point, don't bother.

Anything can happen in there.

Anything can happen in there.

Anything can happen in there. We going inside, Mr. DuBois.

Anything else?

Anything I might have seen?

Anything wrong with her. Right, Granddad,

Anyway, I learned my lesson.

Anyway, the hot water fixed in the guest bathroom,

Anyway, you think it'd be possible

Apologizing here.

Are also neighbors of the Freemans.

Are arriving in droves for the inauguration of Barack Obama.

Are being held inside the prison.

Are expelled from school.

Are gonna be right here, rooting for you all the way.

Are just fine too.

Are still even after us? Maybe they went home,

Are there any others like you?

Are we dead?

Are you afraid your wife will have

Are you aware that some people are paying

Are you gonna be here for a while?

Are you gonna **** us?

Are you having a bad dream?

Are you merely excited or are you extremely excited

Are you okay?

Are you really satisfied with your current landscaping

Are you supporting Barack Obama?

Are you sure he didn't say "kick"?

Are you sure he's the guy to listen to

Are you sure?

Aren't you doing it? The fundraiser.

Aren't you excited, little man?

Around some lovely white people.

As a black African American n****,

As a family. Yeah, boy!

As a matter of fact, since I'm the type of ****a

As a pillar of strength and confidence.

As a practice dummy.

As a result of the fried chicken flu pandemic...

As always you are right on point.

As blue as the summer sky.

As far to say that I love this ****a, no homo.

As he is transformative.

As husband and wife?

As I used to. 'Sup, old ****a?

As if they Internet scams

As in, I'm allowing you to keep 10 percent,

As long as possible.

As much as $50,000 for VIP inauguration tickets?

As mucus builds up, they will begin

As of right now, you the youngest brother.

As soon as I'm back on, he's back on, you know.

As soon as they get the bitches in here

As symbolic victories go, this ain't bad.

As the first customers tasted the new secret recipe,

As the shirtless light skinned gardener

As this can be a sign of an unpleasant

As well as possession of a mostly smoked

As you can see, I've spared no expense for victory.

As you like.

Asian stocks posted their biggest single day decline

Ask your doctor if Zortafrinex is right for you.

Ask yourself that question.

Asked the manager for some overtime and he said:

Astrophysicist, soccer star,

At 3 years old I was taken to the National Kickball

At a local Walli Mart.

At a press conference in a show of support.

At first she acts like she doesn't like

At his response.

At least Riley loves his granddaddy enough

At the intersection of government

At the time, and his father

At this point I ain't even making no money,

At which point it will require

At your ugly black ****a ass no more. Goddamn it!

Audition? Like an acting audition?

Aunt and uncle?

Aunt Juju, tell Mama I'll be right back.

Authorities say fried chicken flu is responsible

Aw, come on, man, why you all tripping?

Aw, come on, man. I've been busting my ass

Aw, man, this is some old bullshit!

Aw, man, we saw you on the news

Aw, man, you doing that?

Aw, man.

Aw, man. For real?

Aw, man. I knew it. I should have never listened

Aw, man. Now he gonna think I snitched.

Aw, man. We gonna die now.

Aw, my precious little white children.