The Big Bang Theory - Season 4 Edit

A All right.

A bathroom emergency is self explanatory.

A BLT where the B stands for beaver? I don't know.

A breakup would imply she was my girlfriend.

A central African power block is formed colonizing North Africa and Europe.

A combination of all your names. Very clever.

A coyote howls at the moon...

A cross we all must bear.

A customer service representative with an Indian accent...

A disappointing drink for a disappointing day.

A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls.

A dolphin might.

A feel good romp if there ever was one.

A few extra bucks would be nice.

A few.

A fine prank. Very amusing. Ha ha ha.

A friend gave me these new pills they're testing.

A fun and practical way of organizing your schoolwork.

A girls' night?

A is for artistic, his ability..."

A little outside my comfort zone.

A little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?

A little, but go on.

A little. They're very old fashioned.

A lock of Maggie's flaming auburn hair.

A lot of people think I'm fun to be around.

A magician never reveals his secrets.

A modified roommate agreement for a temporary house guest.

A piece combining the power of the knight, queen and serpent.

A Romulan battle bagel?

A windbreaker for my cape and a stern expression for my cowl.

A woman well past her prime seeking to augment her social status...

A woman, Mary, stands on a porch.

A word of advice, don't doze off. You will never hear the end of it.

A young woman alone in the big city.

About time, right?

Absolutely not. My colleagues and I map the neurological substrates...

Abundantly.

According to the document you drew up, the selection of a new takeout restaurant...

According to this, if you wanna move stolen goods...

According to what I see here, Thursday nights are Franconi's Pizza night.

Acting lessons.

Action.

Activate self destruct sequence. Code 1, 1A, 2B.

Actually, he can.

Actually, I do.

Actually, I was thinking we could go straight to the room and take a nap.

Actually, I was wondering...

Actually, I'm not. I'm using sarcasm to mock you.

Actually, I'm not. In order to avoid surprises...

Actually, I'm paraphrasing.

Actually, Indian Monopoly's just like regular.

Actually, it's the three of us.

Actually, you don't have insomnia. You're sleeping now.

Again, I've never given it much thought.

Again, right now...

Against my will.

Agree to disagree.

Agreed.

Agreed. Rate of gossip transmission is proportional...

Ah, cool.

Ah, I'm going too. I'll show you where it is.

Ah, it's okay.

Ah, thank you.

Ah, waltz.

Ah, yeah. Wow.

Ah, youth.

Ah!

Ah! Oh, my hands are magic.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Blame President James Jimmy Carter.

Ah. Nothing makes beer taste better...

Ah. Then you may find Zazzles a little cloying.

Ah. There's my band of brainiacs. Where's Dr. Cooper?

Ah... d d d d...

Aha. The tear stained air mattress in the back of the van.

Ahem, excuse me, I have to go to the little girls' room...

Ahem, I can figure this out. Let's see.

Ahem. Fine. What would you rather do as a scene study?

Ahem. Okay.

Ahem. So are you seeing anyone?

Ahem. Uh, Zack, these are my friends Bernadette and Amy.

Alfred knows that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl.

Algorithm. You see, Penny, Alan Turing defines an algorithm...

All about planets this month.

All Chuck Norris backwards gets you is "sirron kcuhc."

All I wanna do is present you as my boyfriend to my mother...

All magic tricks are merely a combination...

All my friends.

All my friends. All my friends.

All right, all right.

All right, come on. Put emotion to it.

All right, Dr. Kooth... Whatever it is. You're up.

All right, everyone pay attention.

All right, fellas, who's in the mood for Fancy Feast?

All right, get this.

All right, guys, you have to go back. I can't afford you.

All right, hang on.

All right, here we are.

All right, here we go. Two lemonades...

All right, I see what's going on.

All right, I suppose I'll go put on my bus pants.

All right, I will.

All right, I'll bow to social pressure. Hey.

All right, I'll go change. Come on in.

All right, I've taken the liberty of drafting these workflow charts...

All right, if no one's going to guess, I was spying the aluminum rims...

All right, if you're not going to remove it, I'll remove it for you.

All right, just try it my way. Pretend you're sad to see him go.

All right, let me put it this way.

All right, let's get this thing over with.

All right, let's just say we've warmed up.

All right, let's start over.

All right, see you later.

All right, technically it's a game.

All right, that concludes the getting to know you portion of the evening.

All right, then, we'll begin with opening remarks.

All right, time to open Bachelor Number 2.

All right, try thinking about this.

All right, uh, forget pulling.

All right, we have seven people and two cars.

All right, we're just gonna have to make the best of this.

All right, well, anyway, uh...

All right, well, let me see if I can explain your situation using physics.

All right, you may talk in the bedroom, but I want this door to remain open.

All right, you've made your point.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Ahem.

All right. Based on a cursory reading, it doesn't look like...

All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness.

All right. Have you considered improving your socialization skills...

All right. I like a good brainteaser. I'll give it a whirl.

All right. I think I have enough to go on.

All right. I'll have to go shopping.

All right. I'm not going to argue with you.

All right. I'm ready for my next question.

All right. Let's begin. Show of hands.

All right. Pass the soy sauce. Coming up.

All right. To what temperature must you heat beef...

All right. Uh, apology accepted.

All right. Well, how long have you known Mr. Wolowitz?

All right. You're an actress.

All set for my weekend number twos.

All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter!

All together? "I'm a total butt wad."

All we've got is a skinny Flash, an Indian Aquaman...

All you have to do is say you're sorry to Leonard...

All you're missing is smeared mascara...

Almost there.

Alpha Centauri A, Toli...

Also, I'm carrying Sheldon's baby. Mum's the word.

Also, you're tasked with bringing home all takeout dinners.

Although "road trip god" does have a certain ring to it.

Although it's a question I've been pondering since preschool.

Although that number would be

Although yours was an eye opener.

Although, it is microbiology.

Although, oddly, no one tweeted.

Although, on one occasion...

Although, this will be the first time I'll be the one saying it.

Amen to that.

Amusing. A play on the two meanings of cobbler.

Amy and Sheldon sitting in a tree, K l S S S S l N G.

Amy Farrah Fowler doesn't believe in wearing costumes.

Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother.

Amy Farrah Fowler.

Amy Farrah Fowler.

Amy is judgmental, sanctimonious and frankly, just obnoxious.

Amy pointed out that between the two of us,

Amy, after consideration, I believe we may have acted rashly.

Amy, don't you agree we should leave now and get in line?

Amy, I find myself wondering...

Amy, I've never been touched like this before.

Amy, it's Penny's turn.

Amy, that's the most pragmatic thing anyone has ever said to me.

Amy, what is he saying?

Amy, you must've been in the bathroom with other women before.

Amy?

Amy's at the dry cleaners,

Amy's right, he is tedious.

Amy's right. I do wanna fling my poop at her.

Amy's right. I do wanna fling my poop at her.

An accident.

An entire dinner to talk about your research?

An orangutan?

And a living will and durable power of attorney.

And a second non tantalizing piece to use as a control.

And a surrogate uterus to gift humanity with our progeny.

And a third person. It's three person chess.

And Absolon hath kist hir nether ye, and Nicholas is scalded in the toute.

And after chatting a bit...

And also, it's really scary.

And Amazons tend to be very beefy gals.

And are you?

And based on living next to you for three years,

And be a social pariah? You know that's not my style.

And believe me, I'm experiencing a very majeure force.

And besides, I could never bring a white boy home to my parents.

And called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.

And considering her status, that could open doors for him.

And even at Star Trek conventions, they only let him in if he helps set up!

And finally,

And for Rajesh Koothrappali...

And for the record, Legoland is more interactive.

And for years, everyone in my family was convinced...

And FYI, travel makes me constipated, so I'm the ideal hotel roommate.

And go.

And he comes out at...

And he says he's not gonna stop.

And here is my Justice League membership card.

And here is the clincher.

And here's where we are, the runts in a large litter...

And here's your $20.

And here's your $20.

And I can't believe you've never read Eat, Pray, Love.

And I don't like glycol ether."

And I got your back, Jack.

And I guess what I'm hoping for most out of tonight is a hot shower.

And I have a feeling I'm speaking to the right Zack.

And I have nothing to contribute to this conversation...

And I may have hit on her a little bit.

And I may have thrown up rum cake on her shoes.

And I sympathize.

And I thought he didn't learn anything from his relationship with you.

And I'd thank you to do the same.

And I'll be right by your side.

And I'm pretty sure I know the answer

And I'm seriously considering taking it to the next level.

And I'm sorry about your phone and Thanksgiving.

And I'm sorry about your phone and Thanksgiving.

And I'm sorry...

And I've got enough trouble seeing over the dashboard as it is.

And I've seen her naked. Heh, heh.

And if anyone were to actually call that number, they will hear this:

And if you were as smart as you think you are,

And is that lipstick on your cheek and neck?

And is that open for discussion?

And is this my card?

And it only took 28 minutes.

And it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler.

And it's an open bar, so I'll probably be giving it away.

And it's been killing me that it just sits in my closet gathering dust.

And it's been weeks since I took that accidental sip of Red Bull.

And Leonard didn't wanna work with you, imagine that.

And me.

And me.

And most recently, the possibility

And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.

And not in the sink, we each have special buckets.

And now he hires himself out to impose his own brand of rough justice?

And now I'm going to the Grand Canyon to scream in frustration.

And now it's yours.

And now the kung pao chicken.

And number two, these mimosas are kicking my little brown ass.

And postulate an initial dating age of 15...

And pulled and pulled.

And she's made a very amusing pun.

And so, instead of bowing to pressure and going to that pointless soiree...

And someday, when you have varicose veins...

And that is?

And that opens her up to justifiable ridicule for wearing them.

And that, girls, is how you make a phony phone call.

And that's how you tell a knock knock joke.

And the answer was elephant.

And the answer was Zack, correct?

And the award for Best Group Costume goes to...

And the best part is, if I were Rat Man...

And the Flash shirt is what? Because you're gonna run fast?

And the memory of Gene Roddenberry.

And the pee stick in your bathroom is to check for diabetes.

And then after it's mostly embarrassment, self loathing and regret.

And then instead of living alone in my tiny apartment, I'd have a big mansion.

And then one day, she meets a group of geniuses...

And then you can go shopping.

And there's your answer.

And therefore, subsume your conclusions under my paradigm.

And they were okay with that?

And this is a schematic for a bird trapping device...

And this little guy here, I think you'll find to be quite zazzy.

And this little guy here, I think you'll find to be quite zazzy.

And to be honest,

And to her, I'm a forbidden piece of white chocolate.

And to think...

And tries to kill Sarah Connor.

And Tyra Banks says the most important item...

And was your card the jack of diamonds?

And we'll use mellifluous tomorrow.

And we're 10 miles above Earth in a starship.

And what a civilization is the Greeks'.

And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

And while we're at it, you don't have to wash our clothes on the 4th of July.

And why is it called a toast?

And with that mental picture, I think we're done for the evening.

And with that, I will re zip my lip.

And worst of all, Nemesis.

And yes, that time I meant it to be dirty.

And yet here I stand before you, 130 pounds of raging estrogen...

And yet I'm doomed while you live on.

And you are beautiful.

And you don't think I can achieve

And you don't want that, do you?

And you have none.

And you have nothing better to do than drive me to it?

And you haven't fallen hopelessly in love with me?

And you know what happened after she died? They ate her.

And you know what your superpower would be? Arrogance.

And you never thought to go with,

And you want me to kill her? Done.

And you're just gonna spill the beans in front of an outsider?

And your card was the five of spades. Ta da!

And your little friends!

And your poll numbers just keep dropping.

And, Howard, you know a lot of doctors.

And, uh, "How are they hanging?"

And, uh, "How are they hanging?"

And?

Another happy accident.

Any follow up, Amy?

Anybody do "Walking on Sunshine" yet?

Anybody know anything about combustion engines?

Anybody up for a little game?

Anything else? Where would you like to start?

Anyway, after snowboarding, I go to the lodge and get in the Jacuzzi.

Apparently, a semi incestuous Teens for Jesus

Apparently, because Leonard is dating Raj's sister...

Apparently, if you're Sheldon, all you need to do is turn your back.

Apparently, you can't hack into a government supercomputer...

Appendicitis. What a nervous Nelly.

Approximately 171 different men as "a few."

Aquaman sucks.

Archie's married to Betty in one and Veronica in the other.

Architect. Where would you have met an astronaut?

Are there beans in it?

Are we starting now...

Are we talking about women wanting penises?

Are we talking slow zombies, fast zombies?

Are we there yet?

Are you a homosexual?

Are you bothered by the fact that your former girlfriend left...

Are you concerned your parents might not approve of Leonard?

Are you depressed because you're alone and no one loves you?

Are you experiencing dehydration, headache, nausea and shame?

Are you familiar with Darwin's observation...

Are you familiar with the study of Tanzanian chimpanzees...

Are you gonna let me tell the story or not?

Are you high?

Are you insane?

Are you kidding?

Are you listening to this guy?

Are you monitoring your circadian rhythms...

Are you saying that Amy is...

Are you suggesting I play dirty?

Are you suggesting I terminate my relationship with Amy?

Are you suggesting the work of a neurobiologist like Babinski...

Are you sure this is right?

Are you sure this is what you want to do?

Are you sure you have enough comics?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? You said that with the testy bark of an old biddy.

Are you trying to scare me?

Are you usually radioactive when found in nature?

Aren't you even a little curious?

Aren't you gonna introduce us to your little friend?

Aren't you slicing that man's brain a little too thin?

Arguably much more suitable than you.

Arrow.

As a microbiologist, I can tell you even the tiniest organisms...

As a neurobiologist, I was curious.

As am I.

As for the shower capacity issue, I cite addendum J.

As good an explanation as any.

As I've explained repeatedly to Dr. Koothrappali...

As if one of the plants...

As long as we're apologizing, Sheldon, I'm sorry I used your toothbrush.

As long as we're talking...

As my mother would say, the Asians are an inscrutable folk.

As per your suggestion, we're hanging out.

As that's the primary ingredient of baby powder...

As the newest member of your social group...

As they were incorrectly sliced...

As you wish.

As your door knocking soliloquy?

As your friend, let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Ask me to pass the soy sauce.

At a Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown

At best you might be a turncoat Ewok.

At best, it's a modest leap forward

At Johnson Elementary School...

At least go with me so you can open the door and flush the urinal.

At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?

At the Christmas party, they were doing Jell O shots out of Petri dishes...

At the hands of your roommate?

At this party, we're gonna win first prize just by showing up with a girl.

At this point in our ecosystem, you are akin to the plover...

At what point do we start calling them lobsters?

At which, if certain tweets and blogs are to be believed, I "suck the big one."

Authorized personnel only.

Aw, he has the same look my nephew gets...

Aw.

Aw.

Aw.

Ba rum bum.

Babe?

Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast and defecates Clerk Maxwell.

Baby, you're not that kind

Bad news. The Nigerian prince may be a fraud.

Bam, right in the nose.

Based on the fact that our potential market...

Based on the number of awkward encounters I've had

Basically, a hundred different ways to rip a guy's nuts off.

Bazinga!

Be a lamb and open it for me.

Be part of that proud tradition.

Be patient. We'll get there.

Be ruthless. Tell him if he doesn't start talking, we'll register a complaint...

Be sure to pack clean underwear.

Be sure to pack clean underwear.

Because I called shotgun, remember?

Because I was sweating through my T shirt.

Because I'd like to weigh in.

Because I'm gonna miss you, Shellybean...

Because I'm good with that.

Because I'm the petty functionary with a clipboard, bitch.

Because the print they're showing...

Because the word secretary has fallen into disrepute.

Because we are neighbors.

Because we don't throw parties.

Because we're going 120 miles per hour.

Because you feel guilty?

Because you might've been watching Nickelodeon.

Because you're impossible to work with.

Because you're not here.

Because you're succeeding.

Because you're welcome to.

Because, uh, Batman has the secret.

Because, you see, there's only one electron...

Because, you see, there's only one electron...

Because...

Bedtime, please show yourself out.

Beefaroni and a show? How do you turn that down?

Beekeeper to king 12.

Been up all night. I had a fight with Bernadette.

Before you begin, let me say again how deeply sorry I am...

Before you race off to the fertility clinic,

Behind every man is a nagging woman who won't let him have any fun, right?

Believe me, it's there. We all have it.

Bernadette agreed to meet him for a cup of coffee.

Bernadette and I are getting married.

Bernadette and my mother are having a get to know you lunch at the deli.

Bernadette dared me to tell a dirty story.

Bernadette doesn't like that I take care of my mother...

Bernadette is thinking about breaking up with Howard.

Bernadette is thinking about breaking up with Howard.

Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard.

Bernadette just asked about my sexual encounter with you.

Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski...

Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Light.

Bernadette walked in on me...

Bernadette, before you change the subject...

Bernadette, I'm putting you on speakerphone.

Bernadette, that's great.

Bernadette?

Bernadette. She was so mad at me, she wouldn't listen to my side of the story.

Bernadette. What are you doing here?

Bernadette's urge to shun, scowl...

Bernie, it's not you.

Bernie, wait.

Bernie, you okay?

Bernie?

Besides food, did you get along?

Besides, I was really looking forward to you and me...

Besides, Penny and I are having a girls' night tonight.

Besides, she's not sleeping here half the time anyw...

Best and brightest, my sweet patootie.

Better put it on the list.

Better than what you've got a buttload of.

Better, it has a gold crown.

Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon.

Big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.

Big night?

Bippity boppity boo.

Bippity Boppity Booya

Bitches be crazy."

Blah, blah, blah. Vast and troubled galaxy, go.

Blood pudding is essentially the same. I don't know why he's serving both.

Blue, as in depressed.

Bob's Big Boy, Toluca Lake.

Bored.

Borrowed.

Boy, I don't know.

Boy, some people are such blabbermouths.

Boy, you sure get your money's worth out of these games.

Bravery test. First one to take his hand out is the sidekick.

Bravest person in the Marvel Universe is the doctor...

Brawny?

Brilliant move.

Bring a ball or a Frisbee. You know, something he can chase.

Brought a Catholic girl home to your mother?

Buonasera, it means "good evening" in Italian.

Buonasera, Luigi's Pizza.

But according to Facebook, you just checked in at the Cheesecake Factory.

But all Donnie did was mix pig poop with water...

But all my cool stuff is here.

But as I remember it, the essentials are:

But ask yourself this:

But change is a part of life.

But come on, Raj. Your sister is a grown woman.

But come on, we're friends.

But don't worry, I really enjoyed meeting you this evening.

But for the moment, let's stay focused on Todd Zarnecki.

But he should know that I am the kind of girl who could get...

But how were our seats?

But I fired you.

But I guess our rich heritage means nothing to you.

But I made it better.

But I might as well get it over with.

But I must say it's looking good.

But I realize now, you want the mindless nattering...

But I really need to talk to smart Amy now.

But I still have "ard Joel Wolowitz" left to go.

But I still have "ard Joel Wolowitz" left to go.

But I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.

But I think that idea is isguided and oronic.

But I'm gonna blow that off to spend the evening with my sweetie and her father...

But I'm telling you, this is adness. This is utter and coplete adness.

But I'm watching you.

But if she orders something low fat, I'll totally give her the full fat version.

But if successful, I will map and reproduce your thought processes...

But in the interest of full disclosure, I was once on a bus...

But in this case, yes.

But it's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated.

But it's frozen.

But it's nice when things work out.

But it's really long.

But it's still no reason to have your feet in my spot.

But it's Thursday. Thursday's pizza night.

But keep in mind I'll be right out here monitoring the situation.

But Leonard's impressive too.

But more importantly, if Leonard had not abandoned his story...

But no, she is not my girlfriend.

But now you say you never want me to go anywhere near your fundraisers.

But numbers don't lie, Penny.

But seriously, even if I disregard the Uncle Carl factor...

But she has no prospects, no marketable skills.

But surely a future Nobel Prize winner can figure it out.

But that doesn't prove I know Batman.

But the bullies took it from us. Well, no more.

But the facts are, we have to shake a few hands...

But the light indicates...

But the only difference is we have more servants.

But the only reason I go there, the only reason I've ever gone there...

But then again, I'm a religious nut...

But there was a secret tunnel...

But they might ask me something else.

But they're not blond, so put on your wig.

But they're not blond, so put on your wig.

But wait, there's more.

But we must be cautious. Why?

But we need a cryogenic centrifugal pump.

But what if he does?

But what if I were to up the ante?

But while bathing, Archimedes realized...

But why exactly?

But you love that spot.

But you're from a foreign land, so your ignorance is forgiven.

But your insistence on talking about your own lives stymies me at every turn.

But, perhaps, from your lofty heights atop the corporate ladder...

Buzzinga.

By accepting the invitation...

By all means.

By any standard, Amy is more similar to me...

By going after its weakest member.

By that standard, Penny is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

By the way, thank you for the delicious cocoa.

By the way, there's only one correct answer.

By the way, when I say that, it's not offensive.

By this much.

Bye bye.

Bye.

Call the police in America.

Calm down, Sheldon.

Calm down. Everything's gonna be okay.

Can I ask you a question?

Can I bring girls here?

Can I help you?

Can I interest you in a topical steroid from my lotion and unguent collection?

Can I see the roommate agreement?

Can my 6'2" Navy SEAL husband come with us?

Can you at least refer me to a rogue ex cop?

Can you believe that?

Can you believe this guy?

Can you guarantee that it won't happen during the night?

Can you guess what the other is?

Can you please get back to the drunk girl?

Can you please just help me?!

Can you say that and not make it sound like I'm a cat...

Can you tell me the specials this evening?

Can't a fellow ask his buddy to relocate, no questions asked?

Can't live with them, can't successfully refute their hypotheses.

Can't wait for that to start.

Can't we make a one time exception for tonight?

Can't you get rid of him?

Can't you just let him play until bedtime?

Captain Kirk won.

Carbonated, as it was a special occasion.

Carbonated, as it was a special occasion.

Careful, it's a collectible.

Cats make wonderful companions.

Cats, Sheldon.

Cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB?

Certainly more natural than what you're doing.

Certainly. I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens...

Cheat, lie, I don't care.

Check it out. Hey, Ma!

Check it out. I just got contacts.

Check it, Howard pulls one out from under the bridge. Nice.

Check on Leonard.

Check out the hook While my DJ revolves it

Check out those saddle shoes.

Checkmate on Sheldon.

Cheers.

Chuck Norris wishes.

Clarify something for me.

Clearly she was sending you a message to take a hike, Mike.

Clearly you are.

Clearly, losing truth or dare upset her.

Clearly, the cards are marked.

Closer to the microphone.

Cluck, cluck, cluck.

Cobbler. I'm still laughing.

Cocoa, Leonard. Focus. I'm down in the dumps here.

Coffee maker?

Coitus. It means intercourse.

Cold and distant?

Colossal serpent.

Come here.

Come in.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, Craigslist.

Come on, dude, I'm exhausted.

Come on, even you have to admit that's jibber jabber.

Come on, guys. Hurry up, hurry up.

Come on, help me out. Am I in trouble?

Come on, honey, not in front of my dad.

Come on, just give her a chance. Maybe she'll grow on you.

Come on, let me just talk to you.

Come on, let's check in so we can take that nap.

Come on, Sheldon, open the door.

Come on, Short Round.

Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team.

Come on, who's with me?

Come on. That's what we do. We give each other a hard time.

Coming, coming.

Coming.

Coming.

Coming.

Coming.

Commence operation "Priya, Wouldn't Wanna Be You."

Complete with bulletproof bracelets and Lasso of Truth.

Computer, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Confidence, not exuding.

Congratulations and welcome temporarily aboard.

Congratulations, pizza night will now be at your apartment. Order one.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Consequently, if Amy and I choose

Consider this unlikely but very plausible scenario.

Cool, buddy. That's awesome.

Cool, huh?

Cool, I've got a lawyer.

Cool.

Cooper Hofstadter residence. Go for Cooper.

Copy that, Red Five.

Cornucopia, what a mellifluous word.

Correct. My turn.

Correct. Now to business.

Cortisol levels normal.

Costume came with a black wig. Where is it?

Could have beaten around the bush a little.

Could someone please turn off the Sheldon commentary track?

Could you come back to me?

Could you please play the game without commenting on every card?

Couldn't stick with it long enough to get your Ph. D?

Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?

Count as a date?

Count your blessings you're not a Tanzanian chimp.

Crafty old gal.

Cultural perceptions are subjective.

Curses.

Da da da liberty

Da da ta da.

Dad, he'd love to, but Leonard has to work in the morning.

Damn contacts.

Damn it, the shoes are right.

Damn, it's good to finally meet you, son.

Damn.

Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Dandruff shampoo.

Dare.

Dear Lord.

Deep in the heart of Texas

Deep in the heart...

Designed for extravehicular repairs

Despite the file system limitations of Apple DOS 3.3...

Despite their tendency to build Death Stars...

Did he get super powers?

Did he mean as if she'd been out in the sun...

Did I do something? I mean, I tried to be friends with Zack...

Did I say something amusing?

Did I tell you our lab got a grant to study addiction?

Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard...

Did something happen today that's bothering you?

Did they know that's what they were doing when they were doing it?

Did they make a movie about it?

Did you at least get Sheldon's fake stuff back?

Did you get that?

Did you get the part?

Did you get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

Did you have sexual intercourse with all of these men?

Did you have to woo me?

Did you hear? Isn't it terrible?

Did you know Priya took Leonard Rollerblading at the beach?

Did you know she's going to school to become a microbiologist?

Did you know that per our roommate agreement...

Did you know the Valentine's heart is not based on the shape of a heart...

Did you know women wear high heels to make the buttocks and breasts prominent?

Did you make it clear it's two different train cars turned into hot dog stands?

Did you pick one?

Did you pinkie swear?

Did you see The Motion Picture?

Did you take dance lessons?

Did you try turning it off and back on again?

Did your sister say anything when you got home last night?

Didn't you already do that?

Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?

Didn't you say you're making hydrogen sulfide gas?

Ding!

Dirty, dirty, dirty.

Disagree.

Discuss.

Do him first.

Do I detect a hint of condescension?

Do it. There's a big inspection coming up...

Do we have any alcohol?

Do you date much?

Do you even think about other people, Leonard?

Do you go on many dates?

Do you have any ethical qualms regarding human experimentation?

Do you have other plans?

Do you know how I solved the balanced center combat area problem?

Do you know of any groups Mr. Wolowitz is a member of?

Do you know the original purpose of the appendix, Leonard?

Do you like bridge, Leonard?

Do you like her? I mean, she's great, huh?

Do you like trains?

Do you prefer ointment or cream?

Do you realize teaching is the first thing I've failed at...

Do you really have to wear that in bed?

Do you really want her telling the other one why?

Do you remember what happened to the alien...

Do you subscribe to the Freudian theory of penis envy?

Do you think a sexually ambivalent Indian astrophysicist...

Do you think they gave Wolverine an adamantium prostate?

Do you think you could get me and my friends into the movie?

Do you wanna join us?

Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?

Do you?

Does "went out" mean "had intercourse"?

Does anybody know how to fix combustion engine?

Does it? A happy accident.

Does NASA know you're using that thing as a napkin holder?

Does square dancing with my sister

Does that mean slutty trolls?

Does that mean you'd relocate here permanently?

Does this mean you are done mocking my career?

Does this mean you are done mocking my career?

Does volunteering for a scientific experiment

Does yours have wet breasts in it?

Doesn't matter. I'm the king of foreplay.

Don't be absurd.

Don't be needy, bestie.

Don't be oversensitive. He's calling you illiterate, not your race.

Don't be ridiculous, Raj.

Don't be suspicious.

Don't beat around the bush, Leonard.

Don't bother.

Don't come up here!

Don't flatter yourself.

Don't get me wrong, I love your new stuff...

Don't go breaking my heart

Don't go breaking my heart

Don't I know it.

Don't know why, just do.

Don't let Spock take me to the future.

Don't listen to him.

Don't listen to him. She wants it. Tongue.

Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes...

Don't put me in the middle of this. I'm not going to be your go between.

Don't ruin it for me, man. I printed out a PDF to read on the potty.

Don't ruin it for me, man. I printed out a PDF to read on the potty.

Don't say, "your doom." Who opens the door for their doom?

Don't tell anybody I told you, she might be breaking up with him.

Don't tell anyone I spent the night with Raj's sister.

Don't tell him that. Tell him the mask thing.

Don't tell me you're afraid of germs.

Don't try to change me, dude. I am what I am.

Don't tug. No tugging.

Don't worry, as your tertiary friend, I am prepared to step in and comfort you.

Don't worry, I'll avoid the nether ye.

Don't worry, just sit next to me during the quiz and you can copy my answers.

Don't worry, my problems can wait while you two hens finish your clucking.

Don't worry, Penny. This is a better car anyway.

Don't worry, Penny. You're my plus one. You'll bunk with me.

Don't worry, Sheldon. We'll be fine.

Don't worry, Wil Wheaton, I was just leaving.

Don't worry, you'll be fine. Let's just hide Mr. Cross.

Don't worry. Everything I have, I share with her. Including my friend Le...

Don't worry. I'll teach you.

Don't worry. Wonder Woman was an Amazon.

Don't yap. Just get out.

Don't yell at me.

Don't you listen to them. You've got plenty of sex appeal.

Don't you read my blog?

Don't you think that's something you should have figured out?

Don't.

Done.

Donnie was a rocket scientist...

Donnie was gonna make millions turning farm waste into biofuel...

Dr. Cooper, I just wanted you to know...

Dr. Hofstadter is representing our experimental physics program.

Dr. Hofstadter, you have the con.

Dr. Koothrappali, please.

Dr. Koothrappali, would you care to join the conversation?

Dr. Koothrappali?

Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, you are officially charged...

Dr. Siebert, 12 o'clock.

Drat. Now I'm 8 for 27.

Dreamily doodling "Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter" in a notebook?

Dropping off some new ones, laminated.

Drunk out of her skull, wants to get in with me.

Dude, can you even open your mouth without spewing a cultural stereotype?

Dude, I put that thing on my face.

Dude, why don't you just invoke your girlfriend pact with Wolowitz?

Duly noted, Steve from Wichita.

During that time, I saw 17 different suitors.

Ears and genitalia.

Ease up there, lead foot. You trying to get us killed?

Easier to clean if people throw up on them.

East Texas. A warm summer night.

Eat flaming Nerf!

Edward's only pushing you away because he loves you.

Eh, until you have kids.

Ehh, time's up.

Eight for 28.

Eighteen years ago, I sent the FBI Crime Lab samples...

Elevated heart rate, moist palms, dry mouth...

Emergency.

Especially the part where he kisses her "nether ye."

Essentially, yes.

Even during allergy season, when he has to alternate between kissing and breathing?

Even the way you do it.

Ever had your appendix out?

Ever thought about getting contacts?

Every once in a while, before we'd go to bed...

Every Thursday night for the last eight years...

Every time I have dinner with his mom, the next day I get jewelry.

Every word. Our false gossip meme appears to have reached node lambda.

Everyone was set atwitter.

Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula.

Everyone's undressing her with their eyes.

Everything okay between you two?

Everything.

Exactly the same.

Exactly. Sometimes you can't win.

Exactly. They say it finally solves the submarine controversy.

Excellent question.

Excellent. It's in a cul de sac. We can box him in.

Excellent. There's nothing I like better...

Excellent. What are you planning to wear?

Except in Knight Rider, the car isn't a yammering sphincter.

Except the money's in rupees, instead of hotels you build call centers...

Except you identified me, your best friend...

Excuse me, before this evening goes any further...

Excuse me, Bernadette, I have to hear it from him.

Excuse me, but a grand unified theory, insofar as it explains everything...

Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy sex life.

Excuse me, could you help us out?

Excuse me, I can't be drinking.

Excuse me, I have to pee.

Excuse me, I object.

Excuse me, I think "She's my sister"...

Excuse me, madam.

Excuse me, Mr. Wozniak?

Excuse me, Penny, but "Doodle Jump" is a game.

Excuse me, we're not taking comments or questions from the audience just yet.

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Ahem. Dr. Greene, question?

Excuse me. I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers...

Excuse me. I'm gonna go wander the streets alone.

Excuse me. Isn't this the point...

Excuse me. That's my girlfriend Bernadette.

Excuse me...

Explain it to them, Siebert.

Explain to me why Wil Wheaton and his lackeys get in and we don't.

EZ Aquarii A, EZ Aquarii B...

EZ Aquarii B, EZ Aquarii C...

Face it, Raj, we crashed and burned tonight.

Fair enough. But in its essence, teaching is a performance art.

Fair point.

Fair warning, I had the asparagus.

Fair warning, we can get crazy.

Fairly easy to calculate. Oh.

Fanny pack of wolves!

Fascinating.

Fascinating. What's in it?

Feast on your disappointment...

Fellas, it's been 30 minutes and nobody's touched each other.

Ferret out Priya's tactics, identify her weaknesses...

Fidelity, bravery, integrity?

Finally getting used to them doing it on a daily basis?

Finally.

Fine, but don't expect my help.

Fine, don't tell me.

Fine, I'll go.

Fine, I'll have sex with him.

Fine, I'll tell him. Ahem.

Fine, if Zack's gonna be Superman, I wanna be Green Lantern.

Fine, Sheldon, tell us about your giant rodents.

Fine, Shelly.

Fine, we'll abide by the Geneva Convention.

Fine, with.

Fine, you don't like the computer, don't use it.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. Dr. Cooper, I'm sorry for your loss...

Fine. From this angle, I can see up your nose.

Fine. Give me a second.

Fine. If I don't meet someone soon, you can put me in a home.

Fine. In the parlance of the urban music scene:

Fine. Red Five to Red Leader.

Fine. You wanna get back together with her.

Fire demon.

Fire demon. Sheldon's turning up the heat.

First day of Cricket Camp.

First of all, if we had super powers, I wouldn't be the sidekick.

First you say you want me to appear at your fundraisers.

Five million, three hundred, eighteen thousand and eight?

Five words:

Fix it for me.

Flattering, but sadly, no.

Follow your endocrine system.

For a group of guys who claim they spent most of their lives...

For all we know, Glissinda the Troll wasn't even a real woman.

For examination under a two photon microscope...

For example, do you have an electric toothbrush?

For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since 11th grade.

For food, right?

For instance, when I first met Leonard...

For once, he doesn't look like a mannequin in the boys department.

For our app, I would humbly suggest Project Nodlehs.

For science.

For shame, Leonard. For shame.

For the first months whenever I'd take off my bra...

For the record, Howard, I'm sorry that I broke our pact.

For the record, Howard, I'm sorry that I broke our pact.

For the record, I was going to say, "Your sister Priya."

For the record, Labradoodles are hypoallergenic...

For your convenience, I disassemble into four pieces.

Forbaded it?

Forbidded it?

Forget it. I'm not spending my New Year's Eve at a comic book store...

Forget it. It's not gonna happen.

Forget science. She's horny.

Forgive me for staring, but you're very beautiful.

Forgive me, but that sounds like a mixed message.

Forgive my language, but poppycock.

Fortunately, thanks to computer savvy alcoholics...

Forty milliliters.

Four women walk down the stairs. How many reach the lobby?

Fourteen.

Fourth of July Hoedown didn't count.

Free comic books to anyone who comes with me.

Freeloader.

Friends overlook each other's minor lapses.

From a neurobiological standpoint...

From California to the New York island, I'm a real Yankee Doodle boy.

From the basic technology

From the waist down, my shields are up.

Funny how things work out, isn't it?

FYI, I think that's what Darth Vader said...

FYI, overuse of the phrase "Oh, my God" is Number 12.

FYI, part of your responsibilities as roommate pro tem...

Gangway, dead man walking.

Gates gave a speech at the university, Sheldon went up to him and said:

Gee, I don't know if I should drink more. I have to drive home.

Gee, I don't know if it's in the cards, sir.

George, let me ask you something.

George, put down that Pepsi can full of bourbon...

Get chosen last, get hit by the ball, cry, go home.

Get it off me, get it off me.

Get it off.

Get it?

Get me out of here.

Get one yourself.

Get out of the way.

Get over yourself. I whistled, you came running.

Get the word of mouth going.

Getting to know the future mother of your child.

Girl talk?

Girls' night? What does that entail?

Give me a minute.

Given how much time you spend engaging in pointless self abuse...

Given how you and me used to be, you know, you and me...

Given that when we met her, she was finishing law school...

Given the size of the theater and this line, we might not get seats.

Given the state of your career, can you really afford to be picky?

Given your community college education,

Glad to see I got Scully, ha, ha.

Glad you're enjoying yourself.

Global Apocalypse or Exciting Research Opportunity?

Glory be to heaven.

Glory hallelujah

Go away, Sheldon.

Go Beavers.

Go east.

Go north.

Go north.

Go north.

Go north. "You are in a forest."

Go on, Amy.

Go sit over there.

Go west.

God bless you, dear.

God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases!

God, he's an ass when he drinks.

Good choice.

Good evening. I'm your guest lecturer, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Good for you.

Good golly, Penny, your whimsy is boundless.

Good grief, it's like trying to talk to a dolphin.

Good Lord, how you frustrate me, Leonard Hofstadter!

Good luck with your eyebrows in the morning!

Good luck, fellas.

Good morning, Amy.

Good morning, and welcome to Science and Society.

Good morning, Mrs. Latham.

Good morning, Sheldon.

Good morning, slut.

Good morning. If I could have everyone's attention, please.

Good news, gentlemen. I found our hacker.

Good news, I made it onto the team for the new Defense Department...

Good news, I made lots of room for dessert.

Good news, Raj.

Good news. Thanks to you, I was able to make a rhesus monkey cry...

Good night, Mummy. Good night, Daddy.

Good night, Sheldon.

Good night.

Good night.

Good one, Bernadette.

Good one.

Good one."

Good point. Basket of puppies.

Good question, Howard.

Good, because I would hate that.

Good, good.

Good, good.

Good, good. I'll tell you what happens.

Good, good. Then you have nothing to worry about.

Good, now put this pillowcase over your head.

Good.

Good.

Goodbye, Leonard.

Goodbye, Sheldon.

Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun?

Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun?

Goodness. I'll never understand that boy.

Gosh, Amy, I don't know if I would call this an actual slumber party.

Got it, got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it. Bye.

Got it. Take care.

Got it. You're a space plumber.

Gotta work with me. We need to get connected with our bodies.

Granted, you're just an engineer...

Great, Ma!

Great.

Great.

Great.

Great. You have a girlfriend, Howard has a girlfriend...

Green Lantern.

Greetings, friends.

Greetings, gentlemen.

Greetings, Mary Cooper. I am Spock.

Greetings, whatever the hell you are.

Greetings.

Grow up, I was lying, I lie all the time. Nobody wants to kiss me.

Guess what. We're fishing.

Guess who didn't get security clearance to work on the giant space laser?

Guess who I found at LAX? My baby sister, Priya.

Guess.

Guys, how 'bout some music?

Guys, I am sorry, we are full up.

Guys, that's really starting to get old.

H is for honesty, of which he has much.

Ha, ha, what do you think we should sell it for?

Ha, ha, you're funny. Ha ha ha.

Ha, ha.

Ha, ha.

Ha, ha. Excuse me, my girlfriend doesn't pick out my clothes.

Ha, ha. Good one, boss.

Ha, ha. Great to see you.

Ha, ha. I just got offered a fellowship at the Weizmann Institute in Israel.

Ha, ha. Yay for me.

Ha. You're cute.

Hacking into it is a federal crime.

Had to wake him up from his nap, didn't you?

Halt.

Hand me that flashlight."

Hands off my sister.

Hang on a second, you picked up your mother?

Hang on, no. My client does not waive reading of the charges.

Hang on, stay calm.

Hang on.

Hang on.

Hang on.

Hang on. It's Leonard. Hi, Leonard.

Hang on. It's the wildebeest.

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty

Happy kitty, sleepy...

Happy New Year!

Happy?

Hard to believe I'm actually having this conversation with you.

Hard to say. I can only speculate...

Has it occurred to you you're missing the big picture? If you look...

Have a good night.

Have a Milk Dud."

Have fun.

Have fun. Wait.

Have to sign off now.

Have you broken it to the troll yet?

Have you considered massage?

Have you considered telling her how you feel?

Have you considered telling her how you feel?

Have you considered your intelligence might be causing your dilemma?

Have you ever considered trying to do something useful?

Have you learned anything?

Have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skimmed milk yet?

Have you tried a bar or tavern?

Having been raised in a Christian household,

He actually got pretty good. He made us all matching se****s.

He almost burst into flames like a vampire.

He and Steve Jobs...

He appears to be a member of the Nigerian royal family.

He can't have a hobby?

He could lose his HBO and all their delightful original programming.

He does it all the time.

He does that all the time. Fifteen.

He got caught up in a computer game and...

He got in and out of your account in under 15 minutes...

He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time.

He just didn't really challenge me on an intellectual level.

He kept bugging me, "How's Leonard?" "Why can't you get back together?"

He left here unswirlied, and his ass crack was underpants free.

He made a fairly well reasoned argument.

He made me sign a waiver, participate in an emergency fire drill...

He recommended that I go see the third Matrix movie...

He refuses to pay fines when he's overdue with books I lend him...

He rejected train day.

He said and I quote "Ask Penny.

He said if he had woman parts, he'd eat for free the rest of his life.

He said that you were pining for a young lady.

He says he'll wear it if you'll be Aquaman.

He says it's the next big thing for social anxiety disorder.

He started America on a path to the metric system but then just gave up.

He started America on a path to the metric system but then just gave up.

He sucks fish pee.

He sucks underwater.

He takes it everywhere. To bed, to the bathroom.

He takes the elf from off the shelf.

He takes the kitty to the potty?

He thinks because he's short, nobody can see up there.

He thinks he's such a smarty pants, he's no different from any man.

He took one for the team.

He was a simple ostrich.

He was either looking up at the ceiling or down at his shoes.

He was gonna throw it in the washing machine with his Spiderman underwear.

He was replaced by a superior species.

He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap...

He was so phobic about stepping on medical waste, I had to carry him.

He was sympathetic. His exact words were, "Got your back, Jack.

He will hear it as an attempt to mend fences...

He wonders why he was a one term president.

He wouldn't drive me to work today. I had to wear my bus pants.

He'll be back.

He's a consultant.

He's a cornucopia of social awkwardness.

He's a lamb, you're not.

He's an engineer and I'm an experimental physicist.

He's even more cunning than we thought.

He's Glissinda the Troll.

He's got a big crush on Bernadette.

He's got the movie! Get him!

He's hoping to see Epsilon Eridani dim...

He's in critical condition.

He's lightheaded from all the whiskey and pickled eggs in his system.

He's living at my place, so I'm living here.

He's not braver than whoever uses the bathroom after The Thing.

He's one of the animals in my department's nicotine addiction study.

He's responsible for the demotion of Pluto from planetary status.

He's right. A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

He's right. Let's make fun of his mother.

He's taking a turn to the dark side.

He's tearing the mask off nature to look at the face of God.

He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.

He's the only person we know with actual muscles.

Heh, heh, heh.

Heh, jealousy? What do I have to be jealous of?

Heh, seriously?

Heh? Heh? Did I lie?

Heh. Alrighty. What's new?

Heh. Don't kid yourselves.

Heh. Why the hell would you cross Ebola with the common cold?

Height, strength, attractiveness...

Hell hounds.

Hell hounds.

Hello, Bernadette.

Hello, Hawaii.

Hello, I...

Hello, Mommy. Hello, Daddy.

Hello, Mrs. Latham.

Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy. How are you?

Hello, Priya. What's up?

Hello, Professor Hoskins.

Hello, Sheldon.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Oh, hi, sweetie.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. I'm looking for a Zack Johnson...

Help me! Come back!

Her freakishly small hands make anything look big.

Her name was Glissinda the Troll.

Her own legs are barely able to do that.

Her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress...

Her silence on the matter, as well as the occasional use

Here comes the cavity search.

Here we go again. If there's simply no talking to me, then why did you call?

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here you go, just like recovering alcoholics drink in the Caribbean.

Here you go.

Here, breathe into this bag.

Here, shuffle these.

Here's a Google Earth shot of their house.

Here's an interesting fact about alcohol.

Here's my chicken curry.

Here's my ID.

Here's the alcohol and drug peer pressure mother warned me about.

Here's what I wonder about zombies.

Here's your cat.

Here's your ID card, your key and your lapel pin.

Hey, 16 wants to order appetizers.

Hey, baby, I love you.

Hey, Bernadette. Can I talk to you?

Hey, Bernie?

Hey, buddies.

Hey, David, what did you find?

Hey, did he tell you I saved the silk shirt?

Hey, do me a favor and take Table 7?

Hey, don't bag on Sandra Bullock.

Hey, everybody, I got something I wanna ask Bernadette...

Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. I have amazing news.

Hey, guys. My baby sister Priya.

Hey, heh, I've got a girlfriend now.

Hey, here's another possible topic of conversation.

Hey, how about we stay the night and hit Legoland in the morning?

Hey, how'd it go?

Hey, Howard, what's up?

Hey, Howard. What's going on?

Hey, I didn't see you giving back your Snoopy Sno Cone maker.

Hey, I got new boots this year. Guaranteed to add 3 inches.

Hey, I know. Let's take Sheldon dancing.

Hey, I think I know how you did the card trick.

Hey, I thought you were with your new buddies.

Hey, I've got winners.

Hey, if you ever wanna start a family, La Canada has some great schools.

Hey, Leonard, is your Wi Fi down? I can't get on.

Hey, look who's here. Hey, buddies.

Hey, look, it's Shamy.

Hey, look, Sheldon. Birdie, birdie, birdie.

Hey, love bug.

Hey, nice knees.

Hey, Raj. Will you be joining us for dinner?

Hey, Sheldon, have you told Amy

Hey, Sheldon, you look like a praying mantis.

Hey, Sheldon?

Hey, sweetie.

Hey, that's my sister and my country you're talking about.

Hey, there's my favorite geniuses.

Hey, what do you mean "more suitable"?

Hey, what took you guys so long?

Hey, what's up?

Hey, why am I listed as your executive assistant?

Hey, you don't need Leonard and his app.

Hey, you guys ready to order?

Hey, you guys, what do you think?

Hey, you taught me something.

Hey, you totally got that right. E equals MC squared.

Hey, you're just in time. We made Tex Mex.

Hey, your copy of Science magazine was in my mailbox.

Hey.

Hey. Is the food here?

Hey. Look at Leonard in his fancy ass grown up clothes.

Hey. Oh, how did it go last night?

Hey. Oh, no.

Hey. Seriously?

Hey. This is a date, right?

Hey. Why am I in charge of phone support?

Hi, bestie.

Hi, bestie.

Hi, bestie.

Hi, can I help you?

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you guys...

Hi, Mrs. Cooper. Thanks for coming.

Hi, Mrs. Wolowitz. Is Howard there?

Hi, sorry I'm late. I was at the gym.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Just hang on.

High five.

Highly.

Hint, if one cares about hygiene, one ought not be kissing it.

His chest hair.

His unique genius is our best hope for bringing peace...

His unique genius is our best hope for bringing peace...

Hit me with some more booze and I'll show you.

Hit me.

Hit the...

Hit troll with axe.

Hit troll with axe. Hit troll with axe.

Hmm, I know the feeling. Like accidentally walking into a gay bar...

Hmm, or as you probably call it back home, food.

Hmm, we can always get a badger and find out.

Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry. I was somewhere else.

Hmm? Priya's not back yet? Well, I guess that's not unusual.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Greek food on pizza night.

Hmm. Still arguing over which CSI is the best?

Hmm. That's like saying you're the most important electron...

Hmm... Yeah. No, we wouldn't.

Hold on to that thought.

Hold on, you actually want me to deceive your father...

Hold on.

Hold on. Howard, Howard, slow down.

Hold on. I have something for you.

Hold on. Just because the nice man is offering you candy...

Hold on. Talk to your mother.

Hold on. Wait.

Hold on. What kind of distance are we talking about?

Hold that thought.

Hold the door.

Hold up.

Holy crap, are you connected to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory?

Holy Moses, how much liquid can be in one tuchus?

Honestly, you over think everything.

Hoo.

Hoo.

Hope so. Course, if history is any indication...

Hope you're hungry.

How about an acetylene torch?

How about can cozies emblazoned with our university mascot?

How about Captain America's undocumented Mexican gardener?

How about concealing a recording device...

How about Howard?

How about I get the karaoke machine out of my car...

How about that Gorn sitting on the couch?

How about that.

How about this for the app name?

How about this?

How about this? Ready? Wrestle.

How about we get an electric saw and cut it off?

How about we still hang out, but on the down low?

How about you, Penny?

How about you?

How about your follicle stimulating hormone levels?

How am I gonna play this?

How are you going to have sex?

How come it's not a party when we do it here?

How come you couldn't make it work with her?

How come, if we're the smart people, we don't do this every night?

How could that be a miss? C 6 was a hit, C 8 was a hit.

How could you? We had a pact.

How did Penny meet an astronaut?

How did that even happen?

How did they meet?

How did you deal with being typecast as a science fiction icon?

How did you even get it in here?

How did you get so brave all of a sudden?

How do I look?

How do you guys wanna play this?

How do you think I paid for my lab?

How do you think people would feel about Prince Joey...

How do you wanna do this?

How do you wanna handle it?

How does an archeology professor get that good with a whip?

How does one miss that?

How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests?

How else is she supposed to take it?

How goes your little project?

How hard did she stomp?

How long has this been going on? Four months.

How many can you name?

How many kites?

How many Scooby Doo Trapper Keepers?

How many sexual encounters have you had?

How many Star Trek uniforms do you have?

How might we examine this more closely?

How much did this cost?

How much did this cost?

How much longer do you plan on fondling my shoulder?

How pathetic is that?

How was she?

How will you react if, in the future...

How would I know if Leonard's at work or not?

How would you feel if you met my ex girlfriend...

How would you flush it?

How would you know?

How... How did we manage that?

How'd you do it?

How's that?

Howard and his mother are at the hospital.

Howard asked Penny to talk to Bernadette, and she did.

Howard doesn't. He's only an engineer.

Howard has a hairy chest?

Howard has announced his intention to propose marriage to Bernadette.

Howard proposed?

Howard was on his scooter and got hit by a truck.

Howard won't order anything, but he'll come up with some comment...

Howard, a girl doesn't go out with a man like you, with your looks...

Howard, did you solve the install time problem?

Howard, do you have latent homosexual tendencies?

Howard, do you make a buttload?

Howard, get the door!

Howard, have you ever considered us living together?

Howard, have you seen my girdle?

Howard, hello.

Howard, I found my girdle! It was in the dryer!

Howard, I have to go to the bathroom and no one will take me home.

Howard, I'm gonna be your wife, you can share anything with me.

Howard, if I may interject here with a piece of friendly advice.

Howard, it's not a contest. I love you. I wanna be with you.

Howard, let's get something straight right now.

Howard, stop it.

Howard, the person at fault for you not getting a security clearance is me.

Howard, uh, slow down.

Howard, we're going to need some tea.

Howard, you did have a real woman.

Howard, you promised.

Howard, you talk to him.

Howard, you're feeling better about me today, aren't you?

Howard, you've got to tell your mother.

Howard?

Howard's a complete and total ass, Bernadette's in my bed...

Howard's a complete and total ass, Bernadette's in Penny's bed...

Howard's mother in high heeled boots?

However, in it we learn that...

Huh.

Hurry. Hurry, hurry.

Hurry. We're going to be late.

Hypothetically...

Hysterical.

Hysterical.

I actually felt kind of silly just saying "on the down low."

I agree to be part of your project. Congratulations.

I agreed to speak to you this evening...

I almost died.

I almost feel sorry for the poor fool sitting in his split level suburban ranch...

I already told you, I'm okay with it.

I also found a Korean man's business card tucked into my cleavage.

I also invented two new chess pieces.

I always dreamed about building a little place of my own over the garage.

I always prefer the train.

I always tell people if you have only one day in Los Angeles...

I always thought it was because I wasn't the son he wanted.

I am a mobile virtual presence device.

I am doing it.

I am going to sit here and just let them stew.

I am in charge of this project.

I am looking at you.

I am making her comfortable.

I am not going to be your mother.

I am not going to have sex with her.

I am not opening that door, Sheldon.

I am so digging the Shamy.

I am so done with Twitter.

I am so not talking to you, I'm talking to him.

I am the one who spent two years trying to get him to go to the beach.

I asked if you were in the shower, but that's moot now.

I assigned her own ring tone. "Bernadette" by The Four Tops.

I assume "Koothranardowitz" was taken.

I assume you mean never again will you drink all of Penny's beer...

I assumed that an establishment called the Cheesecake Factory...

I assure you I am quite real...

I attempted to right the wrong and when I failed...

I believe a misunderstanding may have occurred...

I believe I may have cholera.

I believe in giving credit where credit is due.

I believe in knowing my enemy, Leonard. Had Twitter existed at the time...

I believe our nation's tuna cans are safe.

I believe she's experiencing her menses.

I believe that's what your roommate did to her.

I believe the Romans used to put spiced toast in their punch bowls.

I believe this supersedes the occupancy issue.

I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail.

I believe you were about to rip off my uniform with your teeth.

I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.

I bet he's some loser who lives with his parents.

I bet she did and you didn't listen.

I brought Amy here to show her some of the work I'm doing.

I call for a vote of no confidence and a change in leadership.

I call mine Gerard.

I came as quickly as I could.

I came to go over your alibi for last night.

I can barely hear you over my theremin.

I can hear your voice coming from your bedroom.

I can see how that would be upsetting. Come in.

I can see the television, but I can still talk to...

I can turn the axe around and use the handle to reach it.

I can't believe I'm wearing my brother's Halloween costume.

I can't believe this.

I can't believe we're going all the way to San Diego to confront this guy.

I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.

I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth.

I can't believe you let him kick me out of the car.

I can't believe you think he only wears it on Halloween.

I can't believe you would lie to me.

I can't believe you've never seen Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I can't date Amy. Why not?

I can't do this anymore!

I can't even talk to a woman...

I can't find it, and I'm late for my Weight Watchers meeting!

I can't get out of bed. I hurt my ankle.

I can't get over the fact that she got a big movie part.

I can't go back to the skateboard idiots, the white rappers...

I can't hear you. I'm in the shower.

I can't hear you. I'm in the shower.

I can't say.

I can't see subatomic particles, but nevertheless, they're there.

I can't.

I capture your pope and release the swarm.

I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship.

I changed my mind. Get out of my spot.

I changed my mind. Get out of my spot.

I checked the App Store.

I choose you.

I could get them back to talking about Leonard...

I could just as easily have paralyzed you.

I could make you vodka.

I could never get that stupid hoodie off him when we were...

I could've saved myself this whole night.

I couldn't get Raj on the back of my scooter.

I couldn't if I tried

I described your lovemaking as aloof, but effective.

I did a paper on it in high school.

I did it with you when we rented The Notebook.

I did not have sex with 31 guys.

I did not start dating at 15.

I did that one summer.

I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.

I did.

I did. You said, "No Bridget Jones."

I didn't do it for the money.

I didn't do the audition.

I didn't say Raj. Who said Raj?

I didn't say the snacks were for you, now, did I, Nosy Rosie?

I didn't think you wanted me to make the move.

I didn't wanna teach those poopy heads anyway.

I do appreciate that.

I do know one person for whom that's good news.

I do not agree.

I do sometimes get a bit carried away, don't I? Ha, ha.

I do this for my Mom all the time.

I do.

I do.

I do. You just happened to have caught me on a break.

I do. You just happened to have caught me on a break.

I don't believe it. This is a betrayal of my trust.

I don't believe the rules allow for an ex post facto change.

I don't believe there's any such thing.

I don't care if Eat, Pray, Love, changed your life, I'm not reading it.

I don't care, it's demeaning and I refuse to be trotted out...

I don't care. I don't have anything to hide.

I don't care. I'm losing it, man.

I don't care. This is a woman you have slept with.

I don't even have water yet.

I don't follow.

I don't get it.

I don't have a problem with Leonard's girlfriend who wears too much makeup.

I don't have an urge to fling my waste.

I don't have much of anything in the house.

I don't have to take this!

I don't know how to process that.

I don't know it's like.

I don't know that we've given the alien parasite hypothesis a fair shake.

I don't know what color lonely is.

I don't know what that means.

I don't know, I just have the one day.

I don't know, it's fun while you're doing it.

I don't know, maybe. I have no idea what you said.

I don't know, she hasn't responded to my email yet. Ha, ha.

I don't know, Sheldon.

I don't know, somebody bigger and...

I don't know, we might owe the guy an apology.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. He got really serious and I wasn't ready for it.

I don't know. I get a lawyer, he gets a lawyer.

I don't know. I kind of promised Howard.

I don't know. I'm not a very good liar.

I don't know. Maybe.

I don't know. She's pretty feisty since they put her on hormone replacement therapy.

I don't know. Sometimes your movements are so lifelike...

I don't know. Sounds like a lot of responsibility.

I don't know. Still wasn't very nice.

I don't know. The regular way people meet astronauts.

I don't know. Uh...

I don't know. You'll have to devise a scenario...

I don't like it, a young girl alone in her apartment.

I don't like that. Don't do that.

I don't like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family.

I don't need to go to a seniors' center.

I don't think my character should be in a place like this.

I don't think President Siebert...

I don't think so.

I don't think so. Let me see that.

I don't think that's going to happen, Sheldon.

I don't think we're gonna do that.

I don't think you have to worry about Penny telling my sister.

I don't think you need to worry about death by badgers being hereditary.

I don't think your heart's in it, but since you asked...

I don't understand why you people are picking on my friend Howard...

I don't understand why you people let him bully you like this.

I don't understand why you're not enjoying this.

I don't understand.

I don't understand. I thought I was a teeny tiny wildebeest.

I don't understand. Is this a way to break in new shoes?

I don't wanna be Aquaman. He sucks.

I don't wanna listen to music, Sheldon.

I don't want anything in my ample bosom.

I don't want it better. I want it my way.

I don't want to hug you either. I was just feeling blue.

I don't want to hug you.

I don't... I really don't know why.

I don't... Oh, what's the word I'm looking for?

I doubt anyone would risk the stiff penalties...

I earned it, dude. I ate all my broccoli.

I eat this well when my mom's in town...

I encourage you to ask me as many as possible.

I excel at so many things.

I feel like I'm supposed to say "that bitch"...

I feel much more confident

I felt sorry for him. Priya's giving him a hard time.

I finally have a handle on my idea for three person chess.

I find being cast in the role of bad girl oddly titillating.

I find the notion of romantic love to be an unnecessary cultural construct...

I followed the social protocol.

I forbidded it.

I forget the rest.

I forgot my windbreaker. It's chilly.

I found another tweet from a student.

I found this place in Alhambra. It's in a woman's basement.

I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit.

I gave up the gift of sight for you. If that's not moving on, what is?

I got a colossal serpent right here.

I got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here.

I got it. But what I was going for was, you know, how's your life?

I got the blood work back from the lab.

I got those weightlifting gloves and that five pound dumbbell.

I got too intense, you had to back off.

I got up early and didn't wanna wake you...

I got you a talking Thomas the Tank Engine for Thanksgiving.

I got you the lamb kabob.

I got you, babe

I got you, babe

I got you, babe

I gotta run. The panel's tomorrow morning.

I gotta tell you guys, I'm a little worried about Sheldon.

I gotta tell you, I think you got a real winner with Priya.

I gotta tell you, Sheldon, I understand why you chose this spot.

I guarantee you'll be the prettiest girl there.

I guess he just hates fun.

I guess I have no choice but to make sweet, guilt free love to you...

I guess that's that.

I guess they just figured it out at some point.

I guess we'd better go after him.

I guess you're probably wondering what's got me down.

I guess, for you guys, that's like regular golf.

I had a great idea. You know how we're always having...

I had a pastrami sandwich. She had eggplant lasagna.

I had a patty melt.

I had an unusual experience with Amy last night.

I had dreams, you know. I was gonna be famous.

I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.

I had to walk.

I hadn't considered that.

I hadn't considered that. Give me a moment.

I hardly think so. The real Caped Crusader...

I have a big decision to make, and I'm scared.

I have a feeling that after tonight, one of you will become my best friend forever.

I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female.

I have a girlfriend and you don't.

I have a hip hop aerobics class at 5, could we go after?

I have a layover on my way to Toronto.

I have a list.

I have a master's degree and two doctorates.

I have an override switch.

I have been asking you, "What's new?"

I have dry scalp.

I have genitals, I have the potential for sexual arousal.

I have guests coming.

I have more examples, but excuse me. Hello?

I have more important things to think about.

I have no desire to engage in the activity.

I have pain radiating from my navel to my lower right abdomen.

I have paperwork that says differently.

I have some remedial magic tricks that might be more your speed.

I have spent my life in pursuit of pure knowledge.

I have three brothers and two sisters, Sheldon. I can do this all day.

I have to feel sorry for myself. I'm the only one who cares.

I have to get back to Raj's before he wakes up and realizes I'm gone.

I have to skip the chitchat.

I have to take you?

I have to tiptoe around his new girlfriend.

I have troubles, Penny.

I have Yoo Hoo.

I haven't cried like this since Toy Story 3.

I haven't seen you in a while. How's it going?

I haven't watched any scary movies recently.

I haven't. I've been meaning to, but who has the time?

I hear you broke up with Amy.

I heard about it from Sheldon. He got it from Amy.

I honestly didn't believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.

I hope it's good news...

I hope she wasn't anything like my flatmate from Texas.

I hope to God you used a condom!

I hope we get there in time to see the keynote address.

I hope you don't take what I'm about to do as a comment on what we just did.

I hope you weren't cruel to her.

I hope you're hungry.

I informed you thusly.

I invited her.

I just don't want to be yet another flip flop fatality.

I just felt like drinking alone because I'm deep and dark.

I just have a question. Uh, does Bernadette ever talk about me?

I just know I'm not gonna spend time with someone I don't like...

I just need to figure out the right time to pop the question.

I just realized we're about to spend an evening watching a plasma screen...

I just wanna ask you a few questions about Howard Wolowitz.

I just wanna put it out there...

I just want my baby to have pretty things.

I kid, of course. Big fan.

I kind of figured that.

I kind of told her I was working.

I kissed a girl, and I liked it

I knew I should've given my pope the jet pack.

I knew she wasn't lead car material.

I know about trying to replace someone with other stuff.

I know all your shirts, that's not one of...

I know how to get the bucket.

I know it's kind of weird.

I know things haven't been perfect with us, and we've had our problems...

I know we're all eager to get on the road to Big Sur...

I know what that means!

I know you're devastated that your ex boyfriend...

I know, it's baffling.

I know, last time I came on too strong.

I know, that's why I shortened it.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know. I can see the shadow of your feet under the door.

I know. I usually never see my ex girlfriends...

I know. I'm sorry.

I know. I've always wanted one.

I know. It'll be awful.

I know. The group consensus is that his proposal will be met...

I left you some brisket on the kitchen counter.

I like cows.

I liked Pluto...

I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.

I live here.

I look forward to playing with you.

I love cats. They're the epitome of indifference.

I love the way you say, "I'd love that."

I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together, heh.

I love you so much.

I love you too, but you cost more than my rent.

I love you too. Heh, heh.

I love you.

I may have changed a few lives today.

I may have failed.

I mean, I can hear the toilet flush in your apartment.

I mean, if anything, I'm quite pleased that Leonard has found someone...

I mean, if we start to question this, it all falls apart.

I mean, it's not like either one of us has heart disease.

I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't.

I mean, the temperature's good, but there's no draft.

I mean, the temperature's good, but there's no draft.

I mean, they may not really be geniuses, but they see right through that.

I mean, we had a really great talk.

I mean:

I meant compared to the real world applications of neurobiology...

I might get punched. You really wanna miss that?

I might have gone with eating raw cookie dough.

I might have to let her go.

I miss you too.

I missed you.

I move our relationship terminate immediately.

I moved out of my mother's house. The cord is cut. I'm all yours.

I must confess, I don't understand you, President Siebert.

I must say, Amy, I was very impressed to see that Bernadette got her PhD.

I must say, Amy, pretending to have intercourse with you...

I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse...

I must say, Penny, this is great fun.

I must speak to him.

I must take responsibility. I had to stop for feminine hygiene supplies.

I myself grew up in Nebraska.

I need a hug.

I need an orderly with a wheelchair.

I need some context.

I need to figure out how to get the bucket...

I need to get to here.

I never bluff. Ten.

I never kid about safety.

I no longer care, dear.

I obviously have the flu, coupled with sudden onset Tourette's syndrome.

I only built the arm.

I only started seeing Zack again so I wouldn't be alone on New Year's Eve.

I planned on giving it to myself on my 300th birthday.

I prefer the classics, regular and Klingon.

I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex boyfriend...

I prefer to think that I can't lose.

I propose we resume our relationship and attempt to resolve our differences.

I read.

I really doubt that's what he'll serve.

I recently trained a capuchin monkey to smoke cigarettes.

I reject it.

I repeat, not gonna happen.

I respect your right to make your own decisions...

I run a comic book store...

I said I'd think about it.

I said, "ta da." Show's over.

I said, we.

I saved a nun's life.

I saw a whole new side of Amy Farrah Fowler tonight.

I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel.

I saw those. They were funny. I printed a few out and put them on my fridge.

I saw what you did there.

I say okey dokey.

I say we just take him to Tatooine and sell him to some Jawas, heh.

I say, how about one, two, three, go?

I screwed up.

I see a sign.

I see what you did there.

I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened.

I see you gentlemen are enjoying beverages.

I see.

I see.

I see.

I see.

I see.

I see. Well, it's good to know when I need you guys...

I sense you're trying to slow walk me to an epiphany.

I share a toilet with you.

I should have warned you.

I should let you know that she asked for details about our dalliance.

I should think so.

I should think so.

I slipped and fell.

I smell Chinese food.

I spy with my little eye a non ferrous metal.

I still have some of the currency.

I still wear mine when there's a nip in the air.

I study the brain, the organ responsible for Beethoven's "Fifth Symphony."

I suppose she will have to have access to our progeny.

I suppose that's one way to look at it.

I suppose there are worse ways to spend a Friday night.

I tell you, the Lenwoloppali Differential Equation Scanner meets a real need.

I tell you, the Lenwoloppali Differential Equation Scanner meets a real need.

I texted "architect."

I then folded a towel under your head as a pillow...

I think a more amusing violation of Raj's trust...

I think all branches of science have to move cautiously these days.

I think he's eating lunch.

I think he's getting worse.

I think her weekend just opened up.

I think I can handle it.

I think I figured out Wolowitz's magic trick...

I think I shall share that with Amy Farrah Fowler.

I think I'll eat my lunch at home.

I think I'll turn in.

I think it shrunk!

I think it's a front for human trafficking, but they do a really good job.

I think it's like Beetlejuice. We said his name too many times.

I think it's the only way to look at it.

I think it's time to face the fact that Leonard is the nucleus of your group.

I think Mr. Wolowitz needs to keep in mind that the past is the past.

I think prolonged exposure to Penny has turned her into a bit of a Gabby Gertie.

I think she likes you.

I think Sheldon really misses Amy.

I think the word you're looking for is "befuddled."

I think they're onto me.

I think we could work on this at night and maybe in a couple of weeks...

I think we could write a little app that would use handwriting recognition...

I think we need to face the cold, hard truth.

I think we were misled about the cute girls.

I think you'll be pleased with what the elves were up to last night.

I think you'll be surprised at my...

I think you're on.

I thought if anyone was gonna screw things up for Howard...

I thought it was pretty spicy.

I thought making the transition from actor to acting teacher...

I thought maybe after we eat we could see an early movie.

I thought Rajesh was out with his friends.

I thought she was a highly evolved creature of pure intellect, like me...

I thought the movie was about 18th century Vienna.

I thought they were out west someplace.

I thought this delay was so you could watch Wheel of Fortune...

I thought we discussed the P word.

I thought we were past the days when you'd pull the wool over my eyes.

I thought you broke up with her.

I thought you had more important things to think about.

I thought you were going to movies with the guys?

I thought you were gonna talk to Sheldon?

I took a scuba diving course over the summer...

I took a shot. Sue me.

I took acting classes when I was at Cambridge. I loved it.

I took Howard to the beach once.

I took the liberty of adapting a Star Trek fan fiction novella...

I took the liberty of burning us a mix of heroic questing music.

I trained Ricky to smoke. I can train him to shoot a dart.

I tried in seventh grade. I could never get used to them.

I trust Penny will adhere to the Official California Restaurant Workers'...

I trust this clarification allows us to return...

I understand that some people find mates...

I understand the alcohol has stirred up whatever it is that makes girls go wild.

I understand you wanna recant your statement about Howard Wolowitz.

I understand your reticence, Dr. Cooper.

I understand.

I used to take my lunch to the maintenance room...

I wanna invoke the girlfriend pact, Howard.

I wanna talk science with the science dudes.

I want grandkids and I want them to grow up in a house without wheels.

I want my things back.

I want to be something with sex appeal, like a Labradoodle.

I want to catch up with all of you, but first I really must visit the loo.

I want you to know that I'm genuinely concerned about your well being.

I want you to try harder to make your sister feel welcome.

I was able to get out of there, but she wants to see me again tomorrow night.

I was afraid you were going to fixate on that Mars Rover incident.

I was being sarcastic.

I was expecting applause.

I was filled with adrenaline.

I was going to name him Hermann von Helmholtz...

I was headhunted by a big pharmaceutical company.

I was homesick.

I was in a restaurant with Penny and Bernadette, drinking water.

I was just dropping off a cheesecake to Sheldon.

I was just trying something.

I was once robbed by a pre op transsexual I met on JDate...

I was proposing you massage your muscles with your own hands.

I was right there in the next room while you were clicking that troll's brains out.

I was sexually aroused by Penny's friend Zack.

I was showing this super hot girl how to boot up in safe mode...

I was starting to think it was never gonna happen.

I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.

I was thinking specifically of the gentleman over there...

I was thinking we bring Bernadette and Howard.

I was too busy covering my heinie on Amy's stupid astronaut story.

I was when I came in, but it's amazing what liquor does to guilt.

I was working with penicillin resistant gonorrhea in the lab today...

I was wrong. This is exactly like Knight Rider.

I wasn't athletic. Yeah, I was kind of sickly...

I wasn't going to.

I watch Dr. Phil!

I went on the Internet and found a photograph...

I went to Saudi Arabia, met with a prince who had an interest in neurobiology.

I will not calm down.

I will.

I wish to discuss your theories...

I wish you hadn't done that.

I wish you weren't wearing flip flops.

I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.

I won't be late. I'm gonna make a pitch for the funding and say good night.

I wonder if Howard used a radioactive tracer.

I wonder what changed her mind.

I wonder what she's exasperated about?

I would have slept in my own bed, but it was being used to bring shame to my family.

I would take that deal all day long.

I would think he would know that.

I wouldn't say amazing.

I wouldn't wanna impede your progress.

I'd ask if you want dessert...

I'd be a regular ninja by now...

I'd be happy to create a chart and participate in a differential diagnosis.

I'd like a frozen yogurt, please.

I'd like a seven day course of penicillin...

I'd like something to think about in the shower.

I'd like to buy a scone.

I'd like to know if you'd be interested in having sex with Amy Farrah Fowler.

I'd like to propose a toast.

I'd like to propose a toast.

I'd like to refer that to my attorney.

I'd like to respond to that sarcastically.

I'd like to say I'm very happy that you're back together...

I'd like to talk to you about Howard Wolowitz.

I'd like to weigh in here.

I'd like you to meet Oppenheimer, Frisch, Panofsky, Feynman, Weisskopf...

I'd like you to reposition the telescope, please.

I'd like you to sign it.

I'd look pretty stupid if there was no music.

I'd love that.

I'd love that. Everybody in India says it that way. It's not a big deal.

I'd love to see that. How about you, Raj?

I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers.

I'd rather people not know I have any prior connection to you whatsoever.

I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling

I'd thank you to extend me the same courtesy.

I'll be back.

I'll be damned.

I'll be happy to check the math,

I'll be obliged to dine on liver and lungs stuffed in a sheep's stomach.

I'll be right back.

I'll bet you're an actress.

I'll bring them up with some Hawaiian Punch!

I'll eat later.

I'll friend you on Facebook.

I'll get the sheets and blankets for the couch.

I'll give you $1000 if you'll drive me home.

I'll give you the first one.

I'll go get Penny while that guy spits on our food.

I'll go with you.

I'll have the chicken noodle. Good night.

I'll let you know what happens.

I'll look forward to it.

I'll make it easy.

I'll make it simple for you.

I'll reprogram Howard.

I'll save you the pain and nervousness of waiting for the answer.

I'll see you later.

I'll show you one more time.

I'll sit over there. It looks cleaner.

I'll sleep better when you move back here next month.

I'll take care of it.

I'll tell Howard you're more concerned about your own well being than his.

I'll tell you later.

I'll tell you one thing...

I'll turn off the music when you get rid of that salmonella ridden parakeet.

I'm a girl.

I'm a girl.

I'm a good girl. I went to Catholic school.

I'm a keeper.

I'm a lamb.

I'm a little low on cash.

I'm a scientist.

I'm about to make an important scientific discovery here.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave now.

I'm afraid if I take this, I might lose that special...

I'm afraid not. Is there anything else?

I'm also planning to begin an exercise regimen...

I'm an engineer. Most engineers don't bother with a Ph.D.

I'm available for experimentation.

I'm back.

I'm Barry Kripke and I'm here because you told me there was a raffle.

I'm Batman.

I'm behind you.

I'm busy!

I'm certainly glad no one said they were curious about Aztec human sacrifice.

I'm coming, Woz. I'm coming.

I'm curious as to why we're not eating alone.

I'm disappointed in you.

I'm doing research on emotions and brain activity.

I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, B.S., M.S., MA, Ph.D., and Sc.D.

I'm driving back to L.A. Tonight.

I'm drunk.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm getting my PhD.

I'm given to understand his mother grounded him for running away.

I'm giving you my spot on the couch.

I'm glad you asked.

I'm glad you decided to reject your animal hindbrain...

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'm glad you talked me into this.

I'm glad you think so. That's what I strive to emulate.

I'm going to answer that with a visual aid.

I'm going to have to go over your head.

I'm going to my room.

I'm going to need you to pick up a present.

I'm going to propose a hypothesis.

I'm going to see Priya, everyone's there. You coming?

I'm gonna be 30 years old and I have no one in my life to love me.

I'm gonna come at this in a whole new way.

I'm gonna create a character and situation and just jump in.

I'm gonna go hit the bar.

I'm gonna lead you in. Ahem.

I'm gonna need a drink over here.

I'm gonna pick you up at 8, show you a night you will never forget.

I'm gonna pick you up at 8.

I'm gonna say 3 D. That'll let her know the studio has faith in it.

I'm gonna show you how we finish a quest in Nebraska.

I'm gonna tell her we can't make it.

I'm gonna tell your mother on you.

I'm guessing that future historians

I'm happy for you. Why don't we shake hands and part friends?

I'm hell bent on catching a cyber criminal, not the common cold.

I'm here on an H1 B visa...

I'm in this country legally, you know.

I'm just an innocent woman...

I'm just another lonely nerd living with his mother...

I'm just breaking in some new shoes.

I'm just gonna skip over that insult.

I'm just realizing how much Leonard's been skating by all these years.

I'm just saying, how would you feel...

I'm just saying, it felt like it may have meant something.

I'm kidding, Hawaii. Mahalo.

I'm kind of busy here, Sheldon.

I'm legally obligated to inform you that I took a karate lesson when I was 11.

I'm Leonard.

I'm like an upside down volcano here.

I'm making the donation to your department...

I'm measuring residual heat levels on the playing cards...

I'm much smarter than he is...

I'm nauseated and feverish.

I'm no longer obsessing over why the predicted mass...

I'm no stranger to memetic epidemiology.

I'm no stranger to the crimson scourge that is dermatitis.

I'm not an "actress." I'm an actress.

I'm not concerned about who hangs out with who.

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

I'm not entirely comfortable with "cockamamy."

I'm not familiar with the acronym KMN.

I'm not finished. All scientists have to fundraise, Sheldon.

I'm not going out with him. He can sleep with who he wants.

I'm not going to prostitute myself just so we can get some new equipment.

I'm not going to say another word until you people settle down!

I'm not gonna do that, Sheldon.

I'm not gonna help you. This is hilarious. Heh.

I'm not grilling you, I was just curious.

I'm not having this conversation with you, Ma!

I'm not jealous.

I'm not saying "hoo" now, I said "hoo" last night.

I'm not saying that you're not fun. You're the most fun person I know.

I'm not sure I grasp the full entertainment value, but all right.

I'm not sure. Some sort of beta blocker attached to a molecule...

I'm not taking you home.

I'm not that white.

I'm not touching another man's honey tree.

I'm not upset. Maybe you're upset.

I'm nothing if not adaptable.

I'm often flummoxed by current slang.

I'm okay on my own.

I'm on it.

I'm perfectly capable of finding a girl on my own.

I'm practicing my theremin.

I'm proficient in the rumba, waltz and cha cha.

I'm proud of her. And secondly, I have my own career.

I'm quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce,

I'm regretting my earlier cattiness. She is an absolute delight.

I'm removing my digital footprint from the Internet...

I'm requesting your quarter hourly location update.

I'm reverse engineering Wolowitz's magic trick.

I'm saying believe in magic, you muggle.

I'm saying, if we fake got back together...

I'm Sheldor of Azeroth.

I'm sorry, but five people eating and chatting is a party.

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna count that.

I'm sorry, but in what universe is Wonder Woman blond?

I'm sorry, did I miss something?

I'm sorry, do I need to connect the dots for you?

I'm sorry, Dr. Cooper, this matter is already closed.

I'm sorry, Galileo drank diet Sprite.

I'm sorry, honey, I don't know milliliters.

I'm sorry, how is this better than uncomfortable silence?

I'm sorry, I don't recall you saying no backsies.

I'm sorry, I just don't buy it.

I'm sorry, I'm still trying to work...

I'm sorry, Raj, but the truth is I was with Priya last night.

I'm sorry, Sheldon bought a loom and learned how to weave?

I'm sorry, Sheldon, I know that game meant a lot to you.

I'm sorry, so eventually zombies...

I'm sorry, someone's on the other line.

I'm sorry, was I being too subtle?

I'm sorry, we don't have a code for

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I thought about calling...

I'm sorry. Never mind.

I'm sorry. Sixteen?

I'm sorry. What pun?

I'm sorry. What would an astronaut be doing working on a movie?

I'm sorry. You'll be Spock?

I'm Special Agent Page, FBI.

I'm Special Agent Page, FBI. May I come in?

I'm spilling out like the Pillsbury Doughboy here!

I'm starting to think we're never going to see that pizza.

I'm stating it outright.

I'm still gonna go with you.

I'm still leaving, I just forgot my Claritin!

I'm still not adjusted to how the Syfy channel spells their name now.

I'm stuck again."

I'm suggesting there might be something you could do...

I'm sure I would.

I'm sure it will wash off.

I'm sure you are.

I'm taking your gal out for dinner. You wanna join us?

I'm talking to an orc under the bridge in Thunder Bluff...

I'm talking to someone. You're being rude.

I'm telling you, if xenon emits ultraviolet light...

I'm the Flash. I just knocked 30,000 times.

I'm the Flash. I just knocked 30,000 times.

I'm the one with something interesting to say.

I'm the social glue that holds this little group together.

I'm the whimsical elf that everyone looks to for a good time.

I'm thinking, you'll play the role of your mother and I will bring life to Mr. Spock.

I'm tired of running to the gas station to use the bathroom.

I'm too hot to go out with a guy like Glenn?

I'm uncomfortable with the language he used.

I'm unhappy.

I'm using neuro linguistic programming to modify your thought patterns.

I'm very comfortable here.

I'm very hungry.

I'm waiting.

I'm walking on sunshine

I'm watching it now. Why would I wanna see it again?

I'm worried about Sheldon someday setting off a low yield nuclear device...

I'm your best friend?

I'm Zack and I'm, uh...

I'm...

I've already mooched dinner off you guys.

I've always wondered about Aquaman.

I've been published in journals...

I've been thinking about Dr. Greene's efforts...

I've come to pour them out to the sympathetic ear of the local barkeep.

I've dated four women since we broke up, and I didn't tell any of them...

I've decided not to procreate.

I've decided to take your advice and have arranged

I've gotten a lot better at that, you know?

I've gotten a lot more street since we broke up.

I've known you for seven years...

I've learned what that request actually means...

I've loved the theremin from the moment I heard original Star Trek theme.

I've missed you, Katee Sackhoff.

I've never said these words before, but good job, Howard.

I've seen him at his best, seen him at his worst.

I've wasted many an hour

I've written a new and improved roommate agreement...

Ice Dragon.

Ice ice baby

Ice ice baby

If a woman's father is not around...

If anybody's gonna go down, it's you.

If he hadn't been such a hound dog, we'd all have time machines.

If he'd have read any of the 1300 e mails I've sent him...

If I can't see it, no one else can see it.

If I could make you understand why this is a cool thing, we'd still be together.

If I don't have to boom boom.

If I had more than a box of baking soda I wouldn't have to take that.

If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy not to clear the wood chipper by hand...

If I have no cavities, afterwards we go out for a treat.

If I roll down the windows in the car, everything's peachy.

If I wake up kicking and screaming, don't panic.

If I'd thought of that in the first place,

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

If it did, I'd be famous. I'd be on the cover of magazines.

If it makes you feel any better...

If it makes you feel better, I'm never speaking to Priya again.

If it makes you feel better, when I was dating Penny...

If it touches her, it burns, so...

If it were a contest, I wouldn't have a chance, right?

If it were a town, it would be Leonardville.

If it were an Islamic nation, Leonardstan.

If it were the birthplace of motion pictures...

If it will make you feel better, we rarely listen.

If not, you should be. You have a very expressive face.

If only there were some way to force Howard to accept my apology...

If Penny's spending nights here again, you'll need to set up an escrow account.

If pepperoni were an explosive substance...

If Raj wanted something, he couldn't tell me.

If that's not irresponsible, I don't know what is.

If that's the case, Penny will get satellite TV...

If the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield.

If the past is any indication, no.

If there are an infinite number of parallel universes...

If they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie...

If this experience is troubling you there are things we could do about it.

If this one under or over softens, I'll need time to make things right.

If to the hat you don while wearing a nightshirt...

If true, that seems like an awfully large gamble, given that the prize is Leonard.

If we could leave at 8, we'd still regain our birthright at 10, 10:30 latest.

If we miss it, we'll have the fun of listening to Sheldon...

If we work backwards, correcting for observation bias

If we're changing topics, I believe I have first dibs with capybara...

If we're not going to give it a name...

If you can find a book called Weird Sex With White Boys...

If you continue the program, it's gonna start twisting.

If you do it, you're still not a doctor.

If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.

If you don't want me here, just say the word and I'll leave.

If you had them on now, you could see what we're going to do next.

If you have any questions, here's the FAQ sheet.

If you hope to have children...

If you insist on talking, do it on the couch.

If you know so much, how come I have a date tonight

If you like wandering around a big empty house with no one to love you.

If you skip the part about being under quarantine...

If you think about it, Greek food isn't that far from Italian food.

If you want her around...

If you want your relationship to continue...

If you wash my underwear with regular soap, I get little bumps on my tuchus.

If you were a superhero, your name would be Captain Arrogant.

If you'd have let me bring chloroform, we wouldn't have had all this jibber jabber.

If you'd like to go put on latex gloves, I'll let you check me for a hernia.

If you're gonna be a trophy husband for a rich wife...

If you're looking for an example

If you're moving back to India, we're obviously breaking up.

If you're not familiar with that, there's a free copy in your goody bag.

If you're not going to give me money, then why are you calling?

If you're referring to the beverage, you know I don't drink.

If your friends are unconvincing...

If your mom's nose holds up, we get two nights together?

If Zack and I had just gone to a regular club or a party, it would've been fine.

Imagination.

Impressive that you know that.

Impressive,

In a word, triumphant.

In a world where a piano is a weapon, not a musical instrument...

In a world where mankind is ruled by a giant intelligent beaver...

In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets...

In addition, I keep involuntarily saying "hoo."

In any case, I have been riddled with guilt...

In any event,

In binary, 73 is a palindrome:

In confidence.

In fact, I improved upon it.

In fact, our menses are synchronized.

In fact, you did. But I was referring to Howard.

In order to preserve your friendship...

In order to take a vacation, one first has to work.

In other news, I'm thinking of starting an herb garden. Mum's the word. Gotta go.

In situations like this, best girlfriends are often catty about the other woman.

In Southern California.

In that case, may I offer 27 little tweaks to make it slightly less embarrassing?

In that case, the woman dives into religion...

In the bedrooms of 10 year old girls, where they belong.

In the classroom paradigm, the teacher has the responsibility to communicate...

In the course of our lives, how much lunch money has been taken from us?

In the distance, we hear a lonesome train whistle:

In the event of a power outage...

In The Hidden Reality, I explore possibility...

In the honey tree, his friends all grabbed onto him

In the lead car, driven by Leonard...

In the meantime, I have some paperwork here for you to go over.

In the meantime, I'd like to go over some changes to the Roommate Agreement...

In the South, preadolescent children are forced through cotillion...

In the three years that I've known you,

In these uncertain times, doesn't humanity deserve a gift?

In this case, Leonard. So much for count one.

In this iteration, Jennifer Connelly.

In what way are you screwed?

In which case, welcome aboard.

In which orgasm was achieved by electronically

Incoming.

India's a goofy place.

Infinite Sheldon?

Infinite Sheldon.

Instead of fleeing, he chose to fight barehanded...

Interesting.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Interesting. A friendly sentiment in this country...

Interesting. Do you know where the phrase "jibber jabber" comes from?

Interesting. I think what you might need to know about my colleague...

Into the bag.

Invisible Plane sold separately.

Invisible, unwanted and unloved...

Involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.

Irrelevant. Leonard doesn't trim his nose hair.

Is he always like this when he loses?

Is he deliberately blowing smoke at me?

Is it any wonder he doesn't have a doctorate?

Is it because of the conflict that arises...

Is it gonna be in 3 D?

Is it just me, or does she sound sexy when she's angry?

Is it possible that she was going for your cheek...

Is it possible that your concern for me...

Is it racist that I took you to an Indian restaurant?

Is it? If Leonard forgot to trim his nose hair...

Is it? Let's see you come up with an explanation...

Is our universe the only universe?

Is Rajesh not making you feel comfortable?

Is someone smoking?

Is something going on with Bernadette?

Is that close to you?

Is that like all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs?

Is that my future daughter in law, the doctor?

Is that one of the new shirts Priya got you?

Is that racist? It feels racist.

Is that really what you wanna talk about, Leonard?

Is that sarcasm?

Is that the American idiom for "giant, big ass desk"?

Is that what you want? To give your mother herpes?

Is that...? Oh, my, I didn't see the ring with my glasses off so...

Is the autumn cruel for letting the flowers die...

Is the decision to not discuss...

Is the trick making him disappear?

Is the Wolowitz Programmable Hand,

Is there a plot afoot? I'll have no truck with plots.

Is there a station coming up...

Is there a station coming up...

Is there anything else?

Is there anything you can do?

Is there heart disease in your family?

Is this going to take much longer? We were gonna spend some time together.

Is this the Zack Johnson who used to have coitus with my neighbor Penny?

Is this true?

Is this your card?

Is this your card?

Is this your first date?

Is wide and high

Is working on magic tricks really how you wanna spend your time?

Is your womb available for rental?

Is. Is. I haven't given up hope.

Isn't she a pip?

Isn't that Pasadena's favorite Irish watering hole?

Isn't that their burden?

Isn't the point of a communal meal the exchange of ideas and opinions...

Isn't this nice?

Isn't tomorrow your usual laundry night?

It also says that if you eat beef...

It appears to be something preserved between two pieces of acrylic.

It came to 28.17. Let's say six bucks a piece.

It certainly buoyed up this employee's esprit de corps.

It certainly is.

It does, doesn't it?

It doesn't matter if I can't talk because she can't hear me.

It doesn't matter, they'll find a reason to give me a one way ticket to Gandhiville.

It doesn't matter. From now on, I will keep my distance from you.

It doesn't matter. Howard has a girlfriend.

It happened to a friend of mine.

It happens to be how women lift cars off babies.

It has been suggested to me that acting techniques could improve my lecturing.

It has been suggested to me that acting techniques could improve my lecturing.

It has Shamu who is literally tons of fun.

It helps, but everything is not peachy.

It is pretty spicy.

It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe.

It is time to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

It is. You just kind of put a damper on things when you said:

It makes him desperate to please women.

It may have been a heart attack or heart attack like event.

It means after we play handball, I'm showering at home.

It means I work late.

It might have been a mistake to open that second bottle of wine.

It might help if I could act as though I care about my students...

It most assuredly is not.

It reminds me of the time...

It requires 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles.

It runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip:

It says, "Camarillo State Mental Hospital."

It smells great.

It tastes like it's made of actual ground up shoe maker.

It was a compliment.

It was a great show. They also said dolphins might be smarter than people.

It was a late night vote.

It was an action we both regret to this day.

It was an architect!

It was either this or one of those giant neck cones.

It was foolish of me to think someone your age might ever be interested in me.

It was hell.

It was her cockamamy idea."

It was its own point. Go on.

It was like the last days of Caligula.

It was nice spending this time with you.

It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop.

It was so much easier at my bar mitzvah.

It was Thanksgiving.

It was the kind of thing that makes it kind of hard to face her now, heh.

It wasn't a breakup. A breakup would imply that Amy was...

It will also help improve her initial impression of you.

It will be accomplished clinically,

It won't help. Once he finds a joke he likes, he sticks with it.

It would appear as if

It would appear as if alcohol is playing keep away with your intelligence.

It would've been hidden in sock drawers...

It'd be swell if they had a train.

It'll be okay.

It'll be okay.

It'll be okay.

It'll be okay.

It'll take two weeks.

It's a beautiful country. You'd love it. May I join you?

It's a bird. It's a plane!

It's a charming illusion, but it does not cheer me up.

It's a childish trick designed to confuse and intrigue simpletons.

It's a deal I made with my mother in exchange for

It's a figure of speech, Daddy.

It's a game we invented. It's called Counterfactuals.

It's a good relationship.

It's a good thing.

It's a laptop with a full charge. What do you see in him?

It's a lesson in context.

It's a little weird...

It's a reasonable assumption.

It's a rewritable CD. Just put it in.

It's a robot arm.

It's a shame, all that work she's doing to get sober...

It's a small price to pay.

It's a splatter thing.

It's a strategic maneuver.

It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.

It's actually British.

It's actually Thai. You're slipping.

It's all gone. All gone.

It's all good.

It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.

It's an annual science conference.

It's better than having to wear noise canceling headphones...

It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night...

It's called A Look Back.

It's called the comfort zone for a reason.

It's closed.

It's complicated.

It's cute.

It's dangerous to drive in flip flops.

It's difficult. You try and stretch as an actor, do Strindberg, O'Neill...

It's easy. The spider's crawling up your arm.

It's fine, it's fine. Go back to sleep.

It's fine. But if I'm going to stay in Los Angeles much longer...

It's fine. But if I'm going to stay in Los Angeles much longer...

It's fun talking to you, Leonard. I always learn stuff.

It's hard to say no to Yoo Hoo.

It's how they lure you in. I believe it's called "bait and switch."

It's Howard. Ahem.

It's illegal to spay a human being.

It's inappropriate for a single woman to entertain a man in private.

It's indeed admirable.

It's just easier to stand behind the tape.

It's just one of the things that makes one of the me's chuckle.

It's just so weird. Howard Wolowitz is my friend.

It's just...

It's Koothrappali. I have to tinkle.

It's like he's trying to win a prize.

It's mirror, 37, is the 12th...

It's more than a year since I've kissed a girl.

It's much easier to enjoy the picturesque route we travel to work...

It's my sister. Can we not talk about this anymore?

It's nice to have another couple to hang with, isn't it?

It's nice to have dinner with a boyfriend of Penny's that knows how to use a napkin.

It's nice to meet you too, Sheldon.

It's nice to see you again, Leonard.

It's no mystery.

It's not a big deal. It's just ever since Leonard's been dating Raj's sister...

It's not a big thing.

It's not a home. It's a senior center.

It's not a joke. It's the real design.

It's not a touch phobia, it's a germ phobia.

It's not amazing.

It's not an imposition.

It's not cool.

It's not free. I'm gonna pay him back.

It's not gonna work, dude. I grew up in India...

It's not just giant nuclear weapons that can destroy the world.

It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the "get lost" conversation.

It's not like you guys are getting engaged, right?

It's not much of a contest.

It's not surprising that the story has captured the attention of our friends.

It's not technically road trip god. It's travel supervisor.

It's not the wig.

It's not what I want to do, it's what I have to do.

It's not what it looks like. No.

It's odd how the activity brings back the smell of Kmart bourbon.

It's okay, I like Indian food.

It's okay, you can owe me. Sheldon, six bucks.

It's one of his best moves.

It's one of the few forms of interaction with people that I don't find repellent.

It's one of the reasons I love her.

It's only logical.

It's open.

It's over 14 hours

It's part of an unlikely scenario that involves sleepwalking...

It's pinning her hair up, drawing on her eyebrows. It's a two person job.

It's pretty convincing, huh? That wasn't even a real person.

It's really great

It's really nice to see you again, Leonard.

It's relatively new.

It's said that Archimedes, the ancient Greek mathematician...

It's short for:

It's simple biology. There's nothing I can do about it.

It's so crowded. It's like the whole country is one endless Comic Con...

It's still no reason for me to have to listen to you...

It's still no reason for me to have to listen to you...

It's still six spots above Steve Jobs.

It's Stuart from the comic book store, Barry Kripke from the university...

It's talc.

It's the circle of life, sweetie.

It's the cutest thing.

It's the kind of thing you ought to know now that we have one.

It's the same group who hang out here, hanging out there.

It's the story of a young boy who is transported...

It's three person chess.

It's time to get in line for the movie.

It's too Brobdingnagian.

It's too thin if I were making a foot long brain sandwich at Quizno's.

It's usually indicated for acutely inflamed hemorrhoids...

It's very impressive. For theoretical work.

It's very nice.

It's what I do with Howard.

It's what I do.

It's your game, you go first.

Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose.

Jacuzzi is a commercial brand, hot tub is the generic term...

Jealousy is an ugly green eyed monster, not unlike the Hulk.

**** have been asking that for centuries. There's no real good answer.

Jibber jabber? I don't jibber jabber.

John and Yoko.

Joy, this is Leonard. Leonard, this is Joy.

Junior Mints.

Just a little experiment in pest control.

Just as I make the commitment to preserving my body...

Just because Howard and Bernadette are having problems...

Just because I didn't express myself well...

Just because Leonard has a new girlfriend...

Just change the subject.

Just come with me to Raj's.

Just do whatever feels natural.

Just find out what's up with this trip to India.

Just for the record, my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital.

Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator...

Just for the record...

Just FYI, don't try to go back with a fake mustache.

Just guys.

Just keep going.

Just keep in mind that should you ever need a slightly apathetic tertiary friend...

Just kidding. First thing you need to know about me...

Just like a real hand.

Just like a real hand.

Just like I'm the only one who'll have sex with me.

Just like last summer when there was no malaria in Pasadena.

Just like old times.

Just not against their will.

Just pin me down and stroke my hair, I'll be fine.

Just sit anywhere, make yourself comfortable.

Just so you know, I was up all night...

Just tell this guy to transfer all your stuff...

Just that I'm definitely not gay.

Just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax.

Just the ones that will kill me.

Just think of me as a brown Martha Stewart.

Just thinking about the noises people make during sex.

Just this once you may close the door.

Just two. Everyday and dress.

Just wait.

Keep telling yourself that. It makes it easier.

Keeping in mind that your critical attitude...

Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses.

Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.

Kick him to the curb...

Kidnap Bernadette from the opera wearing a creepy mask...

Kill troll.

Kind of hungry.

Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru by reprogramming the simulator.

Kirk cheated.

Kiss her good night.

KMN.

Knight to old woman...

Knock yourself out.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Know anybody who would appreciate an all expense paid spa weekend...

Know how he did it yet?

Konnichiwa, Dr. Nakamora.

Labradoodle?

Lantern.

Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the Kama Sutra...

Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization...

Last night, you gave me some excellent advice...

Learn to recognize them.

Learning what not to do. Now, let's start fresh.

Leave a message after the wee little beep.

Legoland seems like a hollow dream now.

Leonard and Priya are living together. That's big.

Leonard has none of these attributes, right, Leonard?

Leonard is the signatory to the Roommate Agreement...

Leonard kicked me out of my own apartment.

Leonard lives here. Priya's from India. People meet, Howard. God!

Leonard may have defiled one...

Leonard not jealous.

Leonard said "cockamamy"?

Leonard wants me back?

Leonard, are you in the shower?

Leonard, are you okay?

Leonard, be serious. We're playing a game here.

Leonard, didn't we have this conversation five years ago?

Leonard, do you understand this?

Leonard, I get it. You're in a new relationship.

Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.

Leonard, I'm no expert, but I believe what we just heard from Penny...

Leonard, I'm not breaking up with you.

Leonard, I'm trapped in quicksand. The axe is dragging me down.

Leonard, if your sister ever comes to town, I shall have my way with her.

Leonard, it is a source of great pain to me and my family...

Leonard, let the man pee.

Leonard, my door.

Leonard, Penny, excellent.

Leonard, settle this, of the two of us, who's the obvious sidekick?

Leonard, Sheldon kicked me out of the room and gave me your key.

Leonard, social protocol states when a friend is upset...

Leonard, sweetheart, we're kissing, not eating hot soup.

Leonard, the nucleus? That makes no sense.

Leonard, the people at Nintendo can only go so far...

Leonard, wake up. You're missing some excellent superhero quips.

Leonard, when you get this message, call me.

Leonard, you are my best friend.

Leonard, you hate Greek food.

Leonard, you're busy, let's talk tomorrow.

Leonard, you're right. We should enjoy our meal, arrive late...

Leonard? Leonard?

Leonard. Leonard. Leonard.

Leonard. Leonard...

Leonard. Leonard...

Leonard. Mrs. Latham's car is here for you.

Leonard's a great guy. I never should have broken up with him.

Leonard's having astronomically inaccurate Star Trek sex with my sister.

Leonard's lactose intolerant. He can't eat anything here...

Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any approval growing up.

Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group.

Leonard's no stranger to back alley cockfights.

Leonard's putting disgusting memories in my memory foam mattress.

Leonard's really one of a kind.

Lesser Warlord of Ka'a.

Let him get it out, and let the chips fall where they may.

Let me ask you a question. What are you most afraid of?

Let me ask you something else. Is she seeing anybody?

Let me get my... cockamamy keys.

Let me help you.

Let me introduce you to one of the university's leading donors.

Let me put it this way.

Let me see that.

Let me tell you about this one genius. This fella Donnie.

Let's agree they're both hot.

Let's ask ourselves, is there anyone we know...

Let's get these electrodes attached...

Let's get to the vote. Show of hands...

Let's get you to the hospital.

Let's go find me a heinie to bite.

Let's go home.

Let's go.

Let's just all finish our dinners, okay?

Let's look at this logically. I have a stomach, I get hungry.

Let's not sully the moment with the exchange of saliva.

Let's round that up to 31.

Let's see you run with a bag of urine strapped to your leg.

Let's see. Harvey Wallbanger. Eh.

Let's see...

Let's start with a toe touch.

Licensed to practice law in three countries and your face.

Like a hidden flower My sweet fragrance comes into view

Like everybody else's.

Like in 28 Days, if those zombies didn't eat, they starved.

Like Leonard and the skinny weirdo?

Like me.

Like that's what a person orders in a ******* deli.

Like the wild elephant I am trumpeting my love for you

Like there's a difference.

Like to music?

Like what?

Like what?

Like when we went to the movies and waited outside the bathroom...

Like you.

Like, "Has Leonard betrayed any of his friends recently?"

Like, oh, look.

Like, there's two universes.

Like, what, another five, 10 minutes?

Listen to me, Howard. It's time. Make the move, now.

Listen to what Mr. Wil Wheaton is tweeting:

Listen, can I talk to you about your girlfriend?

Listen, I have to get a security clearance...

Listen, Rajesh, Leonard and I decided to see each other again...

Listen, we need to talk about something.

Listen, you are over tired. You're not thinking right.

Listening to my father go on about what a great guy you are.

Literally? Literally a million years?

Little ball of fur

Little ball of fur

Little comfort tonight. I look like a Hell's Angel.

Live with cats. Be like my Aunt Nancy. She had dozens of them.

Localized to what region?

Long before the cats. I think it was around the time...

Look at that, I'm starting to exude.

Look at the organizational chart. You're clearly listed as founder.

Look at the size of these shrimp.

Look at this stamp.

Look at us. Planning a future together.

Look at you, getting me to engage in the social sciences.

Look up in the sky.

Look who it is.

Look, I know our winter thermostat setting is 72 degrees...

Look, I'm sorry I got so upset, I just...

Look, I'm still happy to drive you to work.

Look, it's not just the wig.

Look, just because we're not seeing each other anymore...

Look, just forget about the astronaut.

Look, no more superhero bed sheets.

Look, Sheldon,

Look, Sheldon, Leonard is dating Priya. She's staying with Raj.

Look, Sheldon. Ugh, I don't need an alibi.

Look, you're my best friend, she's my girlfriend, you should bond.

Look. A side door.

Look. Listen to this one. "Does Einstein's theory...

Look. Twenty people from the university...

Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big whoop.

Looks like someone else is gonna have to be Wonder Woman.

Lucky bastard.

Ma, can Rajesh sleep over?

Ma, I'm home!

Ma, Ma, calm down. Listen to me. I know it says click with the mouse...

Ma?

Ma?

Madame Curie should not be wearing a digital watch.

Made me proud to own a PC.

Make yourself comfortable.

Making pretty good time, huh?

Man is not the only species that ferments fruit...

Man, he's gonna be blindsided.

Man's underwater best friend.

Manager?

Manager?

Many people experience bladder shyness...

Many women in happy relationships spend their nights...

May I offer an observation?

May I point out in a parallel universe your friends are saying:

May I point out that for eight long months...

May I point out to you all that the screening is first come, first served?

May I say having to explain that to you...

May I share something with you that's troubling me?

May I suggest that your criticism is based on jealousy?

Maybe a little.

Maybe actually spending some time with her.

Maybe he took a class at the adult bookstore. That's how I learned.

Maybe I should just go home.

Maybe if you stop dropping your sword and bending over to pick it up.

Maybe it committed suicide! Leave me alone!

Maybe sleep has met you before.

Maybe that's where she met the astronaut, all right?

Maybe this will overcome your reluctance.

Maybe to make up for the fact that his dad left them when he was 11.

Maybe, but that's not my problem.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe. What do you think?

Me think that very funny.

Me too. Good times.

Me? How am I supposed to fix it?

Me? Why me?

Meemaw resisted at first, but now she loves it.

Meesa gonna go into the movie now.

Meet me at the Randy's Donut by the airport at 2 a.m.

Meme theory suggests that items of gossip are like living things...

Message received.

Might as well have had the Chinese pizza.

Milk Dud?

Milk Dud?

Milk Duds, with their self deprecating name...

Milk in the taters, milk in the gravy, Parmesan crust.

Millions of dollars being showered on poets, literary theorists...

Minus 21 men before the loss of virginity

Miss Rostenkowski, would you like to start us off...

Mm hm. A lot of people are working on that research.

Mm, last night, I had a dream we got so rich from the app...

Mm, not great, I guess. But Penny and I are just friends.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mockery? That's all you have to offer?

Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her.

Mom, what an unexpected pleasure.

Mommy, Daddy, you remember Rajesh's friend Leonard.

Mommy, I love you.

Mommy, why are you crying?

Mommy's late for Indian bingo.

Monkeys.

Monogrammed key chains with a built in laser pointer.

Moot. Rendered unimportant by recent events.

More like Yoko and Yoko.

More or less.

Moron.

Most of them regular, some of them kind of messed up.

Mostly with Asian and ******* astronauts.

Mountain elf.

Mouse Boy?

Mr. Wolowitz borrowed it...

Mr. Wolowitz?

Mrs. Cooper, hey, it's Penny. Yeah, I think I broke your son.

Mrs. Latham, I'd like you to meet our outstanding researchers.

MRS. WOLOWITZ Howard, dinner's ready!

MRS. WOLOWITZ Howard, I made cookies for you

Muggles.

Must be killing you, wondering who. Fine, I'll tell you.

Must be out of range.

Must you?

Muy caliente, Sheldon.

My "mirth." Classic.

My ability to think is my bread and butter.

My abs look like sections of a Hershey bar.

My apologies.

My apologies. Now shuffle the cards.

My apologies. Raj, Howard, I'd like you to meet Dr. Robert Oppenheimer.

My blood work shows thyroid function normal.

My brother had a group of friends like this in India.

My brother's going to hear you.

My burps taste like cranberry juice.

My catapult flings my bishop...

My corns are killing me."

My corns are killing me."

My country 'tis of thee

My dad's company prints menus for this place.

My daughter thinks I don't love her enough to support her...

My desert welcomes you Like the rainy monsoon

My family history factoring in longevity, propensity for disease, et cetera.

My family is the history of heart disease.

My father taught me archery as a child.

My feelings for my spot are much greater.

My gluteus what?

My great great grandmother was half Cherokee.

My heart burns for you Like the sun at noon

My heart rate is elevated, my palms are clammy, my mouth is dry.

My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.

My last wish is that you look after Bernadette.

My mistake.

My mom's going to Palm Springs to visit her sister.

My moo shu pork.

My mother does.

My mother seems to think that Bernadette...

My mother's always wanted a grandchild.

My nails have never looked so pretty before.

My name is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.

My new book, The Hidden Reality, takes on a grand question:

My only friends would be my genetically engineered monkey butler...

My pee is gonna stink up the place.

My physical body is safely ensconced...

My point is Priya's gone...

My point is you can't go out with Leonard.

My point is, he would not meekly surrender to the rules...

My point is, I know more about dating than you,

My point is, uh, tonight is Sheldon's first official date.

My problem is I don't project confidence.

My recommendation is that you gobble these up like Tic Tacs.

My relationship with Amy was purely intellectual.

My sister's 38 and married.

My stature intimidates her...

My sympathies.

My universe

My universe

My universe

My universe

My universe

My universe

My universe

My, my, my.

My, my, that's a powerful smell.

Nah!

Nerds.

Neurobiologist.

Never had sex? Wow.

Nevertheless, I've hurt you and whether you forgive me or not...

New contacts. I should have done this years ago.

New puzzle, Ma!

Next on Wikipedia's list of slumber party activities, "truth or dare."

Next stop, Travel Town...

Next thing I know, this beautiful chick shows up.

Next time we go to kick someone's ass, we take the train.

Next time, take your own advice.

Next.

Next.

Nice going, Raj. Just got him down for his nap.

Nice of you to come for Howard.

Nice place, mostly family farms, a few meth labs.

Nice place.

Nice to see that the gals are getting along.

Nice to see you, Mindy.

Nice.

Nice. Okay, rook to transporter pad.

No backsies.

No cuts, not butts, no coconuts.

No hurry.

No jury would convict us because people love monkeys.

No matter how much you apologize...

No misunderstanding.

No need. Penny and I are very close.

No offense, but shower sex with you...

No one can hate that.

No one ever does.

No one is doing handwriting recognition differential equation solving.

No one will ask if I spent the night with Raj's sister.

No one's bat'lething anybody.

No one's getting tortured.

No problem.

No pulling, no saws, no torches.

No reason. I was just talking to Raj...

No spaces.

No Superman, no Wonder Woman.

No weapon strikes more fear into a man's heart than a Klingon bat'leth.

No worries, I explained my predicament to our letter carrier.

No, Amy, you're supposed to ask her something personal or embarrassing.

No, because I'm engaged to a putz.

No, but I can name all the Kardashians.

No, crazy was leaving the projection booth unattended.

No, don't do that. No reason to be mean to her.

No, don't say that, you're going to be all right.

No, Glenn's was leather.

No, Gorn, no.

No, ha, ha, I guess not.

No, he did not.

No, he got five stitches and a tetanus shot.

No, I always shout, "Holy moly."

No, I assure you I do.

No, I can't eat melon.

No, I didn't do it for the money.

No, I do not.

No, I do. It's just I knew I was having curry tonight...

No, I don't see that catching on at all.

No, I experienced distressing symptoms last night...

No, I got the money first.

No, I haven't.

No, I just run till I'm hungry and then I stop for a bear claw.

No, I know what you meant.

No, I love my mother.

No, I mean lunch today with Bernadette.

No, I mean, what are you doing with a theremin?

No, I think a doorknob has you stymied.

No, I think we have to be more subtle.

No, I'll go to your haggis party.

No, I'm almost sure that it was the Discovery Channel.

No, I'm not gonna pick up a woman in a bar.

No, I'm not.

No, it doesn't bother me.

No, it doesn't matter. We'll be at work.

No, it most certainly is not.

No, it won't.

No, it's a different Leonard. He's Chinese, red hair, six fingers.

No, it's all right. Walk me down.

No, it's an indictment of the American education system.

No, it's chilly outside. I didn't bring my jacket.

No, it's not necessarily proportional. Shut up.

No, it's not.

No, it's not.

No, it's tricky. I'm gonna try having it pick up the libraries...

No, just me.

No, just the one.

No, l... I'm sorry, free what? Sorry, what...? What?

No, Ma, it's Raj!

No, Ma!

No, no, I think it's sexy to date a boy trapped in a man's body.

No, no, I'm just giving you a compliment.

No, no, no, I can do it.

No, no, no, I'm ready.

No, no, no. A lady wants to be wooed...

No, no, no. He won. Suck it up.

No, no, no. I'm just...

No, no, no. Would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart...

No, no, no. You know, they have suffered enough.

No, no, no. You... You just need to map it out. Come on, I'll help you.

No, no, of course not. Just have your relationship someplace else.

No, no! Don't touch.

No, no! I loaded the wrong program.

No, no.

No, no. It's not like that. It's, uh...

No, not peace.

No, of course not.

No, really, I am not upset about Leonard and Priya.

No, see, it's not...

No, seriously, I think I've finally figured out my problem with women.

No, she never mentioned it.

No, Sheldon, you can't fix this with gifts.

No, something very specific that we both know you...

No, thank you.

No, thank you. But for the record, I'm an excellent dancer.

No, that can't be it.

No, that was completely called for. We need quiet.

No, that's okay.

No, that's ridiculous.

No, the shipment hasn't arrived and I need those shoes.

No, uh, I just... You know, I want what you have.

No, wait!

No, we agreed they all have their merits.

No, we can still make this work. Leonard, you talk to Penny.

No, we don't wanna watch Bridget Jones's Diary.

No, we failed in our noble quest.

No, women do that to me all the time.

No, you are now nothing.

No, you can't reprogram people.

No, you can't.

No, you most certainly are not.

No, you see, it's more complicated than that.

No, you weren't. You were making fun of me.

No, you're going down.

No, you're not. Pay no attention to that man in the bed.

No, you're right. No, there's no plots, no trucks, no feet.

No!

No! No!

No?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Amy?

No. And stop asking.

No. But we have potatoes.

No. Happy accident.

No. I found poems he wrote about her. Very disturbing.

No. I know bullying.

No. I mean just you and me.

No. I mean, since the Shamy hit a reef.

No. I might have some cheddar.

No. I might have some cheddar.

No. No, I understand.

No. No. I'm saying exactly the opposite.

No. Once these puppies touch the ground, they're mine and I'll have to wear them...

No. One of those times when it's just you and me.

No. One slip of the hand and I'm sitting in the Engineering Department...

No. Origami napkin swans.

No. The cushion is merely symbolic.

No. The Flash shirt is because it's Friday.

No. The two achievements are equally surprising...

No. This is Zack. He's a friend of ours.

No. Uh uh.

No. Wha...? Does it?

No. Why do you ask?

No. Why would you?

No. You squandered your time with me and the moment has now passed.

No. You take girls underwater in your private submarine...

Nobody cares about your Kegel exercises.

Nobody knows

Nobody knows

Nobody knows

Nobody knows my sorrow Oh

Nobody wants to do that to you, Ma!

Nobody's going to ask about last night as long as you just zip your lip.

None come to mind.

None?

Nope, nothing. Never mind.

Nope.

Nope. He's gone.

Not all germs.

Not an attractive quality in a woman, Leonard.

Not as good. You can't make strings with it.

Not as little as you'd want him to be.

Not as much as you.

Not as pathetic as dressing up like this...

Not body parts that usually team up.

Not engaged. Very interesting. I have to tinkle.

Not even when I do this?

Not for me.

Not funny, Leonard.

Not here and certainly not at work.

Not if it has a hole in the middle.

Not if they're doing it for a long time.

Not important.

Not judging, just my opinion.

Not necessary. Penny and I are perfectly comfortable sharing a bed.

Not necessary. We know everything there is to know about kissing.

Not particularly.

Not since I found out the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it.

Not so fast.

Not that anybody asked.

Not that I care what my ex girlfriend's up to...

Not that I've ever seen.

Not that my disinclination to discuss the topic...

Not the brush part. Just the little rubber thing...

Not the kind with access to drugs.

Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the tongue...

Not too bad for someone...

Not too hard.

Not true.

Not Waldo, not Carmen Sandiego, not even topless Natalie Portman.

Not yet. One goose step at a time.

Nothing happened. Can we change the subject?

Nothing rhymes with orange. It's probably lonely.

Nothing soothes those pre wedding jitters...

Nothing, it was a desperate attempt...

Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.

Nothing. Let's go to the party.

Nothing's changed in that regard. We're still roommates, still friends.

Now can we have cookies and Hawaiian Punch?

Now do you remember your card?

Now first, dust the cherries with sugar...

Now get it out.

Now get your sorry, lying ass out of my face...

Now I'm thinking about fractal equations.

Now I'm thinking about the origin of the phrase "train of thought."

Now I'm thinking about trains.

Now look at it, and put it back in the deck.

Now prepare for inspection.

Now spread them out on the table face down.

Now that Amy and I have spent quality time together,

Now they have a delightful social aspect.

Now what?

Now when you say "look after," you mean...

Now where were we?

Now who's ready to play some vintage video games?

Now you're back to bring us all to 7010, where we are transported...

Now you're considering having a baby?

Now you're just being silly.

Now, about Mr. Wolowitz.

Now, assuming the left side of a bell curve

Now, bear down on it...

Now, don't you move, I'll bring over all the food.

Now, hold on. If she is dating an American...

Now, how would you characterize your relationship with Mr. Wolowitz?

Now, I admit it, I may have crossed a line here.

Now, I'm gonna do something here to help you along.

Now, I'm thinking about Jell O.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take my temperature.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a pussycat.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the father of the atomic bomb...

Now, in this pivotal scene, Sheldon's mother, played by you...

Now, Leonard, tomorrow when we go to work...

Now, let's talk about Priya, that man stealing bitch.

Now, listen to me. I know about loneliness.

Now, now. Evolutionary biologist Robin Dunbar has identified gossip...

Now, put your finger on it. No, doesn't matter which finger.

Now, put your hand in the jar or forever be revealed as my sidekick.

Now, the apartment has three emergency exits...

Now, the reason I called Amy over...

Now, to your knowledge...

Now, was this before or after he adopted the 25 cats?

Now, what do you have to say for yourself?

Now, what exactly are toes?

Now, what's up with clarinet... Bernadette?

Now, when you said on the phone "he broke up with a girl"...

Now, where were we?

Now, you see, I don't know if you're kidding or not.

Now. Now?

Nuclear war, being buried alive. Any of those movies where you get...

Number one, I think they are talking about penises.

O is for outstanding, which he is such.

Obviously your superpower is brainwashing.

Obviously, the answer is cheese Danish.

Obviously.

Of a waste of time, I would refer you

Of course I have.

Of course I'll be back, I live here!

Of course it is. It always is. It's India.

Of course not.

Of course you can.

Of course you must.

Of course, good night.

Of course, I did. I talked and talked and talked.

Of course, I do, I have an eidetic memory.

Of course, most of my relationships are good, you know.

Of course, that could just be my other senses getting stronger.

Of course.

Of course.

Of course. Barry?

Of course. He and I can play doctor.

Of course. Of course.

Of course. We're coming as the Justice League of America.

Of course. What's rattling around in that big bulbous brain of yours?

Of course...

Of her George Foreman Grill

Of intellectually superior, benign overlords

Of our having a child together.

Of producing the first in a line

Off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette?

Off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette?

Oh, all right.

Oh, Amy, you lucky girl.

Oh, and potty is okay?

Oh, and the science dudes wanna talk science with you.

Oh, and we're going to use props?

Oh, baby.

Oh, be careful. Give him some line.

Oh, Bella, don't you see?

Oh, Bernadette Please play my clarinet

Oh, Bernie, no, you didn't have to.

Oh, blah, blah, blah. Give me some sugar, bestie.

Oh, boy, Tater Tots and a party invitation?

Oh, by the way, a fellow at work said I could use his Dodger tickets.

Oh, come on, Howard, be realistic.

Oh, come on, it's not boring at all.

Oh, come on, man. Bros before...

Oh, come on, why don't we just tell them we're dating?

Oh, come on, why don't we just tell them we're dating?

Oh, come on, you can't wait two minutes?

Oh, come on. That's never gonna happen.

Oh, congratulations.

Oh, cool. Can I play?

Oh, crap, why is this so hard?

Oh, Dad, Leonard can't stay. He just dropped by to say hello.

Oh, Dad, Leonard can't stay. He just dropped by to say hello.

Oh, Dad, that's nice, but Leonard has to work.

Oh, damn it.

Oh, damn it. I told Amy that in the strictest confidence.

Oh, damn.

Oh, darn, that's wrong!

Oh, dear Lord, shush.

Oh, dear Lord.

Oh, dear Lord.

Oh, dear Lord. Yes, yes. Oh, yes.

Oh, dear, I believe I'm lost. I'll have to get a fresh start tomorrow.

Oh, dear, no, not the dirt people.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Oh, derived from the word "angel." Appropriate.

Oh, does that come up much on the space station?

Oh, don't be such gloomy Gusses.

Oh, don't feel bad. I never read Leonard's, and I used to sleep with him.

Oh, don't say that. You're a very attractive woman.

Oh, excuse me. I'm getting a text message...

Oh, for crying out loud. What kind of superhero needs a jacket?

Oh, for God's sake, Leonard, this is about Priya, isn't it?

Oh, for heaven's sake, now you're being deliberately stupid.

Oh, friggety frak. Not this again.

Oh, from the context, we think it means "kill me now."

Oh, FYI, my mother's birthday is coming up.

Oh, gee, Amy, sorry, I'm pretty busy this weekend.

Oh, gee, thanks, but I'm not really in the mood.

Oh, God, I feel ridiculous in this dress.

Oh, God, never again.

Oh, God, that feels so good.

Oh, God, that is so romantic.

Oh, God, that is so true.

Oh, God, what is that smell?

Oh, God, you smell so good.

Oh, God, you smell so good.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. I think I see where this is going.

Oh, God. What's happening?

Oh, good for you.

Oh, good for you. Glenn, this is my boyfriend, Howard.

Oh, good God.

Oh, good morning, friend Howard, friend Raj.

Oh, good point, Amy.

Oh, good, a slumber party.

Oh, good, good.

Oh, good.

Oh, good.

Oh, good. Context.

Oh, good. I'm 8 for 26 this month.

Oh, great, you made it. Come on in.

Oh, great.

Oh, great. It's my cousin David about the ring.

Oh, he has many friends.

Oh, he watches you from his car with high powered binoculars.

Oh, heh. No. No.

Oh, hell, I miss him.

Oh, hello, Leonard. What a pleasant surprise.

Oh, hey, Amy. Bernadette just texted me.

Oh, hey, Amy. What's up?

Oh, hey, heh, I hope you didn't hear that.

Oh, hey, Leonard. I see you met my dad.

Oh, hey, Raj, what are you doing here?

Oh, hey, Sheldon. What can I get you?

Oh, hey, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.

Oh, hey. Nice virtual presence device.

Oh, hi, Amy. How you been?

Oh, ho, ho.

Oh, hold on, Howard. There's lots of better times.

Oh, hold the door.

Oh, honey, did your mom not have the talk with you?

Oh, honey, if I get restless

Oh, hoo!

Oh, how did he do?

Oh, Howard, heads up. Your ex girlfriend just came in for her shift.

Oh, Howard, I can't believe Bernadette let you go to a fancy party wearing a dickey.

Oh, I almost forgot, I got you a little present.

Oh, I don't know if I'm up for talking about rainbows, unicorns...

Oh, I don't know. Maybe when you walk into a hotel room...

Oh, I don't think so.

Oh, I don't think so.

Oh, I got a one. If you guys were a band...

Oh, I have to get this.

Oh, I informed you thusly. I so informed you thusly.

Oh, I know. I'm now an independent contractor.

Oh, I love it.

Oh, I love Milk Duds.

Oh, I love you too.

Oh, I made you uncomfortable last night. I'm so sorry.

Oh, I never identified with the Rebel Alliance.

Oh, I see. You guys are inferring that I'm stupid.

Oh, I think I got a nibble.

Oh, I thought you were making a generalization.

Oh, I totally wanna see Sheldon dance.

Oh, I'm afraid not.

Oh, I'm back to trains.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you.

Oh, I'm just saying, you know, I don't have any real ties here...

Oh, I'm not confused at all.

Oh, I'm not sure how this is scored, but I believe we may have won.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, I'm so sure I'm gonna regret this, but who was I with?

Oh, I'm sorry, I typed that into the label maker...

Oh, I'm sorry, Shelly, I can't see it.

Oh, I'm sorry, we're out. We have muffins.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry. I assumed that you wanted...

Oh, I've always wanted to be invited to a slumber party.

Oh, I've been meaning to tell you...

Oh, I've heard of that place.

Oh, if there was a problem

Oh, it was just gonna be me and Bernadette.

Oh, it's a snowflake from the north pole. Leonard gave it to me last year.

Oh, it's not bad.

Oh, it's so exciting.

Oh, just FYI, that was racist.

Oh, lamb chop, we can quibble what to call it...

Oh, Leonard. You remind me of the funny old story about a man...

Oh, let me see those cards.

Oh, look at that baby. They're really biting, huh?

Oh, look at this, another one of our classic bathroom gabfests.

Oh, look who they let in.

Oh, look, it's Harry Potter and 98 Percent of the Sorcerer's Stone.

Oh, look, it's Leonard and R2 D Bag.

Oh, look, my dry cleaning's ready.

Oh, Lord, I think it's about to burst.

Oh, Lord, look who it is.

Oh, Lord, my belly.

Oh, man, Scooter sucks.

Oh, memory impairment.

Oh, my God, dude, now you have to forgive him.

Oh, my God, I think you broke my toe.

Oh, my God, is he okay?

Oh, my God, no. We're not there yet.

Oh, my God, she's that Mona?

Oh, my God, that is so creepy.

Oh, my God, there's someone in your apartment.

Oh, my God, what did they get?

Oh, my God, you ran over a hobo.

Oh, my God, you're breaking up with me.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Sheldon and Amy.

Oh, my God. I'm crying already.

Oh, my God. Ma? Ma? Stand back, I'm gonna break the door down.

Oh, my God. What personal habits?

Oh, my God. You're about to jibber jabber about jibber jabber.

Oh, my Howie.

Oh, my metatarsals are barking.

Oh, my, this is one tough troll.

Oh, my, your sudden appearance startles me.

Oh, my. Can I help?

Oh, no, I wouldn't care for that.

Oh, no, thank you. I'm not eating pizza tonight.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. I hope everything's okay.

Oh, no. Mrs. Mary Cooper didn't raise her no liars.

Oh, no. That movie has melting faces.

Oh, no. Why?

Oh, no. You have to go.

Oh, not really. Just hang out.

Oh, now, don't you start crying. You get in that spaceship.

Oh, oh, looks like they're getting ready to let people in.

Oh, oh, ooh.

Oh, oh...

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay. Wow!

Oh, please, I was just pointing it out.

Oh, please, let me tell him.

Oh, please, that crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rearview mirror.

Oh, please. I recognize the walk of shame when I see it.

Oh, please. If I don't know, you don't know. That's axiomatic.

Oh, please. My sister is much hotter than your girlfriend, and you know it.

Oh, ravish me, Howard. My loins ache for you.

Oh, really?

Oh, really? And miss the keynote?

Oh, really? So how did I do it?

Oh, relax, he's got headphones on.

Oh, relax, Leonard, I have raised that boy.

Oh, right, right. The blog.

Oh, right.

Oh, right. Sure.

Oh, right. That. Hmm.

Oh, screw it. I can deal with a little self loathing.

Oh, Sheldon changed the password. It's now "Penny is a freeloader."

Oh, Sheldon, you haven't changed a bit, have you?

Oh, Sheldon.

Oh, Shelly, a man's here to take you away to the future.

Oh, Shelly, a man's here to take you away to the future.

Oh, shut up, Sheldon.

Oh, shut up.

Oh, shut up.

Oh, sure.

Oh, thank you, but I have work to do.

Oh, thank you, officer.

Oh, thank you. But cute is for bunnies.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, that gossipy bitch.

Oh, that sounds like fun.

Oh, that was my fault.

Oh, that's an excellent question. For two people no longer pair bonded...

Oh, that's great.

Oh, that's hot, hot, hot.

Oh, that's just Ricky.

Oh, that's me.

Oh, that's preposterous. I'm not pining over anyone.

Oh, that's too bad.

Oh, that's too bad. Figure out the magic trick yet?

Oh, that's too bad. I wonder what happened.

Oh, that's wonderful. Dinner, some assembly required.

Oh, the ancient Romans put spiced toast in their punch bowls.

Oh, the gall. I hope his next tweet is:

Oh, the humanities.

Oh, the poor thing.

Oh, the reverse psychology thing. I see, that's very clever.

Oh, then perhaps you don't understand what's going on.

Oh, there he is! The man of the hour!

Oh, there isn't enough chamomile tea in the world...

Oh, there it is.

Oh, there you are.

Oh, there you have it, gentlemen.

Oh, these are cute. Of course, if I buy them...

Oh, this takes me back. Leonard obsessing about Penny.

Oh, tomorrow morning you're driving me to the dentist.

Oh, too bad.

Oh, too bad. Sheldon's pathologically afraid of birds.

Oh, tweets about my lecture.

Oh, uh, yeah. I was trying to see if I could laugh as a woman.

Oh, very clever. But still racist.

Oh, wait, hang on. Are you upset?

Oh, we are so taking you dancing.

Oh, we know what's causing that, don't we?

Oh, we should get going.

Oh, we were just chatting.

Oh, well, good for him.

Oh, well, he waited in line for 14 hours while you napped in a lawn chair...

Oh, well, I'd like to propose a toast.

Oh, well, then by all means, carry on.

Oh, what fresh hell is this?

Oh, what fun. We're like hippies at a love in.

Oh, what the hell.

Oh, what the hell. Ha ha ha.

Oh, who elected you road trip god?

Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself?

Oh, wow, that is really, really good.

Oh, wow. Good job.

Oh, yeah, every bartender makes it differently.

Oh, yeah, I know that place.

Oh, yeah, I'm feeling it.

Oh, yeah, right.

Oh, yeah, she's got puddles in all the right places.

Oh, yeah, that can only be good for you.

Oh, yeah, that. Come on in.

Oh, yeah? What about it?

Oh, yeah? What does that look like?

Oh, yeah? Won't matter, you're going down.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Mouth to Mouth Mona.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I met her at Comic Con.

Oh, yes. He says they are lost without you.

Oh, yes. Indeed, I did.

Oh, yes. It's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.

Oh, yes. You should have been here for the great Jenga tantrum of 2008.

Oh, you didn't do that badly.

Oh, you have such beautiful eyes.

Oh, you heard.

Oh, you know, girls get together, hang out, share girl talk.

Oh, you know. Same old, same old.

Oh, you let me worry about the money.

Oh, you poor baby.

Oh, you're right. That is so embarrassing.

Oh, you're so arrogant.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. But there's money for a drawer full of Red Vines...

Oh. Go away, Leonard.

Oh. I'll try to catch it.

Oh. I'm working on time dependent backgrounds in string theory.

Oh. No. He was one of my professors in college.

Oh. Out with his friends.

Oh. So I spent seventh grade dotting my I's with little asses?

Oh. This time, we will be two winos living under a freeway overpass.

Oh. Well, all right.

Oh. Well, good job. Quite convincing.

Oh. You don't want that.

Oh...

Oh...

Okay, ahem, explain something to me.

Okay, ahem, uh, I'm Sheldon.

Okay, Amy, you're being silly.

Okay, babe, you're kind of embarrassing me in front of my friends.

Okay, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is an American classic.

Okay, come on in.

Okay, come on.

Okay, deal.

Okay, fasten your seat belts.

Okay, fine, I betrayed Howard.

Okay, fine. I'm a horrible human being. I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.

Okay, fine. Look, I'll admit, heh...

Okay, fine. Look, look, I'm calling her now. See?

Okay, fine. When's the date?

Okay, forget who's hotter. The first time Priya came to L. A...

Okay, give. How do you know? Did he tell you?

Okay, gotta go.

Okay, he's in the bathroom. Let's go.

Okay, help me out here.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, I brought you a day old cheesecake to cheer you up.

Okay, I can't believe this needs to be said out loud.

Okay, I don't know you people.

Okay, I get it. We're worried about Sheldon.

Okay, I got it. She's not your girlfriend.

Okay, I guess we're improvising now.

Okay, I have a question.

Okay, I see where this is going.

Okay, I think a bit of context here might help.

Okay, I think that's enough about me.

Okay, I think that's enough about me.

Okay, I think this ends the ex boyfriend portion of our evening.

Okay, I will think about it.

Okay, I'd like to propose a toast to a wonderful girls' night out.

Okay, I'll see you then. Bye.

Okay, I'm a little confused here.

Okay, I'm good.

Okay, I'm good.

Okay, I'm just gonna walk away because I don't wanna be here.

Okay, I'm leaving before the black helicopters get here.

Okay, I'm not moving anywhere. What the hell is this all about?

Okay, I'm not upset about Leonard and Priya.

Okay, I'm out of here.

Okay, I'm ready. I'm Zack and I'm, uh...

Okay, I'm still trying to work this out.

Okay, if you insist.

Okay, just read your mother's line.

Okay, just to be clear.

Okay, l... I think it's safe to say...

Okay, let me just get right to it.

Okay, let me see if I understand this.

Okay, let's get clear on something.

Okay, let's go smooch some rich, wrinkled tuchis.

Okay, let's go through this one more time.

Okay, let's just, uh, warm up on the run.

Okay, let's see if this drug works.

Okay, let's see.

Okay, let's try this one.

Okay, listen, you don't have to wear the wig.

Okay, look, don't think of it as dating a girlfriend.

Okay, look, if I agree to go out with you guys...

Okay, look, this never happened. Do you understand me?

Okay, look, we're not really "me and him."

Okay, look.

Okay, my turn. Penny, truth or dare?

Okay, now I get it.

Okay, now I have to ask. What do they do?

Okay, now reel him in.

Okay, now that you're back on the team let's get you caught up.

Okay, now you don't remind me of my mom.

Okay, October is the tenth month.

Okay, okay. Ten seconds to midnight.

Okay, Sheldon, I think you've made your point.

Okay, Sheldon, you are so wrong.

Okay, so the usual with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.

Okay, so, what's new with you guys?

Okay, suit yourself.

Okay, sure, I'll call you when I get home. Okay, bye bye.

Okay, sweetie, let me put this in a way you'll understand.

Okay, thank you.

Okay, thanks.

Okay, that's all I got. Howard, you're up.

Okay, that's fine, but let's try and get you out of your comfort zone.

Okay, the good news is, we have a Wonder Woman.

Okay, the whole point is to loosen you up a little.

Okay, then.

Okay, these are Uggs.

Okay, try that last line again and this time try choking up a little.

Okay, uh, how do I put this? Um...

Okay, um, can you do this?

Okay, wait right here.

Okay, wait right here.

Okay, we need to stop for a minute.

Okay, we're cool.

Okay, we're getting off the subject.

Okay, we've got fajitas with all the fixings...

Okay, well, how about this.

Okay, well, I guess we're having a slumber party.

Okay, well, it's getting late. This was terrific.

Okay, well, Raj, I just wanna say that I'd never betray your trust.

Okay, well, tell him I loved him on Star Trek.

Okay, well, what do you communicate about?

Okay, well, wish me luck.

Okay, well, you know "World of Warcraft"?

Okay, what I'm doing here is trying to determine when I'm going to die.

Okay, what if I got him to apologize and promise to behave?

Okay, what's up with those pantsuits?

Okay, when you say, "Make the best of..."

Okay, where is this coming from?

Okay, where is this coming from?

Okay, why me? Why can't your girlfriend be Wonder Woman?

Okay, you do it.

Okay, you know what?

Okay, you know what? I changed my mind. I'm not going.

Okay, you know what? Let's try a different improv.

Okay, you're not helping.

Okay? Yeah. Bye bye.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Amy, I'm fine.

Okay. Good.

Okay. How about "On your mark, get set, go."

Okay. I guess we just go without a Wonder Woman.

Okay. It's not a movie, it's improv. So no one calls, "Action."

Okay. One of the things that might help you...

Okay. These are Steve Maddens.

Okay. Um, how about this? You know how you're always trying to learn...

Okay. Well, then, there's a couple of things

Okay. Well, what about your friend Amy?

Okay. Why?

Okay. You guys are on a date. We can hang out anytime.

OMG, right?

On or about the 28th day of April...

On the International Space Station.

On the other hand, as I look at the blank, ape like expression on your face...

On the other hand, it might have been the Brussels sprouts.

On the potty? What are you, 5?

On Thursdays everybody comes over here and has pizza...

On what authority are they permitted to mutilate patrons as they enter?

Once a year.

One circumcision was enough.

One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.

One has to navigate a labyrinth of social nonsense...

One moment.

One of my proudest possessions is a vintage 1977 Apple II.

One of them is bound to screw up, then I'll tell my parents about you.

One of them is upstairs. The other one sort of slipped back into my skull.

One time at my lab...

One who was drummed off the force because he refused to play by the rules.

One, two, three, four, five. No way.

One, two, three, go? That's for babies.

One, zero, zero, one...

Only 15th?

Only bird I ever loved.

Only if you stipulate...

Ooh, Leonard's going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass.

Ooh, ooh! Do "Our babies will be smart and beautiful."

Ooh, somebody took pictures and uploaded them to their Flickr account.

Ooh, somebody's been taking bitchy pills.

Ooh.

Ooh. Out of arrows.

Ooh. What's that?

Oopsie.

Open bar, good eats, might even be a few pretty girls.

Open gate.

Open the landing bay doors, shuttlecraft approaching.

Or a baby.

Or BFF, if you prefer.

Or if you prefer the human touch...

Or is that implausible as well?

Or it could be "syfee."

Or maybe he heard it's Tater Tot Tuesday.

Or maybe she'll finally succeed in ripping my nuts off.

Or was attracted to?

Or we could just stay here.

Or who she might be attracted to in the future?

Or worse, it could go to the Liberal Arts.

Or you land on the time machine.

Or, as we call them, "Shamy."

Other than my mother, my sister and my meemaw, no.

Other than waiting out the exponential growth period...

Otherwise, based on past experience, we'd be done by now.

Our collaboration is a work of the mind. We don't need desks.

Our entire dinner unpacked by robot.

Our friend the beaver?

Our genetic material has the potential

Outstanding. And if we fail...

Ow!

Ow.

Ow. Hi.

Paging Doctor Cutie Pie!

Pantsuits suck.

Parenthetical, the term "kidnap" is being used playfully.

Part of your starship has to be on C 7.

Passing the soy sauce.

Passing the soy sauce.

Patience, patience, Barry, the waffle... Ahem.

Peace?

Peaking around the present, that would bring the total

Penis first?

Penny kissed me.

Penny kissing me is not insane. She used to kiss me all the time.

Penny, a moment. Do you have plans this weekend?

Penny, Bernadette tells me you're planning a girls' night.

Penny, dear, why don't you shoot another Silver Bullet my way.

Penny, I assure you, I'm fine.

Penny, my body and I have a relationship that works best...

Penny, sorry you got dragged into this.

Penny, Steve Wozniak was one of the co founders of Apple computer.

Penny, this is Raj's sister, Priya.

Penny, to your mind, are you a slut?

Penny, wait.

Penny, you became disenchanted with Leonard as a lover.

Penny, you face failure on a daily basis.

Penny, you out here?

Penny, you should come with us Friday...

Penny, your nails look great.

Penny!

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny.

Penny. Penny.

Penny. Penny. Penny.

Penny. Penny. Penny.

Penny. Penny. Penny.

Penny. Penny. Penny.

Penny. Penny. Penny.

Penny. Penny. Penny.

Penny. Penny. Penny.

Penny's friend Zack stopped by and said hello and I said "hoo."

Penny's here.

People are drawn to that, you know?

People think I don't get sarcasm.

Per our roommate agreement, kindly refrain from raucous laughter...

Perhaps a promiscuous redheaded barmaid?

Perhaps he's emulating Shakespeare's Henry V...

Perhaps it would be kinder to play a game more suited to his abilities.

Perhaps reading to the elderly?

Perhaps that joke was a little hippie dippie for this crowd.

Perhaps this will relax you.

Perhaps two. I'd like to master the craft.

Perhaps two. I'd like to master the craft.

Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely.

Perhaps you should consider taking acting lessons.

Perhaps you'd be interested in a different game.

Perhaps your talk of my sexual prowess renewed her faith in love.

Perhaps, they would taste better out of these.

Perhaps.

Philadelphia.

Philadelphia.

Pick a card, put it back, and prepare to be amazed.

Pick a card, Sheldon.

Pick me, pick me, I'm fun.

Pick out the hottest guy in the room...

Picture the Hindenburg meets Chernobyl meets Three Mile Island meets Tron 2.

Pizza dates back to the 16th century...

Playing it.

Playing the theremin.

Plea before my mother walks in, get this off me!

Please look at me when you're talking to me.

Please note, it is now past 10 p.m.

Please sign.

Please tell me you're not having coitus.

Please, fly into our open maw and have at it.

Please, I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself.

Please, Leonard, don't leer, you have a girlfriend.

Please, Leonard, stop trying to horn in on my new friends.

Please, please, please don't give up on her.

Please, Raj!

Please, the man is talking.

Please, this isn't about me.

Please, you're not that kind of person.

Please!

Plus or minus eight men.

Plus the number of times

Plus, he looks like a giant insect."

Plus, insects have six legs.

Plus, the FBI hung up on me.

Point is, Sheldon, the legal principle...

Point of inquiry, given that Leonard is your secondary friend...

Possible explanations for your symptoms are...

Possibly, I tweeted him.

Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.

Pretty much, except we keep our shirts on in the sauna.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Primates such as ourselves have a natural instinct...

Priya and I are both adults. I didn't betray Raj.

Priya has essentially nullified my roommate agreement with Leonard...

Priya is a lead attorney for the biggest car company in India.

Priya just made a snide comment about your acting career.

Priya told you. What a little gossip.

Priya took me clothes shopping.

Priya, do you know why this is called a toast?

Priya, if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness...

Priya, this your brother.

Priya?

Probably because I exude confidence.

Probably gonna have to throw them away.

Probably has a hard time finding a suit that fits.

Probably not.

Probably serving food that was ordered today.

Proceed.

Proceeding to the next stage of our relationship.

Proxima Centauri's the nearest star.

Pun intended?

Pun intended?

Purr, purr, purr

Put out your hand.

Put the movie back before we get into trouble.

Question. Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?

Quite frankly, I don't see what all the hoopla is about.

Radio contact is sufficient. No need to extend your middle finger.

Raiders of the Lost Ark with 21 additional seconds.

Raj and I entered Sheldon's information on a dating site,

Raj had just introduced us to Priya for the first time...

Raj, be a lamb and open the door for me.

Raj, did you tell your sister about the time Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates?

Raj, have you seen Howard?

Raj, I don't have time. Now, pay attention.

Raj, I know you've been avoiding me and Howard...

Raj, if you would.

Raj, is that you?

Raj, take a card. Don't let me see it.

Raj, wanna see a new magic trick I've been working on?

Raj, what are you doing?

Raj, you have to know, you're a wonderful man.

Raj? Do you have any questions for Amy?

Raj.

Raj. Raj.

Raj's television.

Rajesh and I have a good thing going and you're not going to ruin it.

Rajesh has many friends?

Rajesh, are you letting your sister date that little Howard boy?

Rajesh, I've had the privilege...

Rajesh, why aren't you making your sister comfortable?

Rajesh, you know Leonard and I spent the night together.

Rats!

Rats.

Read this woman's tweet.

Real chili has no beans in it.

Real... Silence?

Really, 10 miles? You're orbiting inside the atmosphere?

Really, Amy?

Really, Amy? Gossip?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really? A robot hand's got a death grip on your junk, dude.

Really? And that didn't make her feel better?

Really? And that didn't make her feel better?

Really? Heh, you? Where'd...? Where'd you go?

Really? How could you tell?

Really? I didn't see you draw one from your quiver.

Really? I haven't been to a comic book store in literally a million years.

Really? In front of your sister?

Really? LeVar Burton's coming here?

Really? Still can't talk to me?

Really? That's your question? When did he put a ramp in?

Really? What do we tell Siebert?

Really? You waited months for time with that telescope.

Really? You wanna see the keynote?

Really? You want me to sing "Soft Kitty" to a computer monitor?

Really? You'll risk getting sleepy...

Really? You're changing the Sheldonian calendar?

Really? Your deeply religious born again Christian mother

Recent events have demonstrated to me...

Recently, I learned that you refer to us as Shamy and I don't like that.

Red Leader to Red Five, come in.

Red Leader to Red Five, come in.

Red Leader to Red Five.

Red Leader to Red Five.

Red Leader, I'm really sorry.

Refresh my memory. Why didn't I just put you in the trunk?

Regardless, coronary problems are eminently treatable.

Relax, I've seen you do a lot worse with a lot stupider.

Relax, it's 5:00. The movie doesn't start till midnight.

Relax, we're not under attack right now.

Relax. No one's gonna be looking at her hair.

Remarkable.

Remarkable.

Remarkable.

Remember to floss after, we have the dentist in the morning!

Remember wondering why the girls didn't wanna eat with us?

Remember your card, put it back.

Remember, people, we're only as strong as our weakest bladder.

Remind me to put it on your shopping list.

Remind me to put it on your shopping list.

Remind me to try again in an hour.

Reminds me of my parents' house back in New Delhi.

Right after I pointed it out.

Right now, all I can think about is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.

Right now, this button press event is triggering a dummy procedure call.

Right there with you.

Right to the nap, huh? Okay.

Right, right.

Right, Sheldon?

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right. "Help, I'm a prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory."

Right. Fascinate me.

Right. Whereas ******* mothers take a casual la di da approach to their sons.

Rob Roy, Silk Slipper, Mad Hatter.

Robert Oppenheimer was lonely.

Rotating.

Rotting zombie.

S Y F Y. That's "siffy."

Sadly, Penny, this evening, I am The Dark Knight...

Saturday, 9 a.m. Bring cash.

Say, I heard an interesting tidbit about Howard and Bernadette.

Saying that while holding a snowflake is a little heavy handed, don't you think?

Scarlett Johansson's house.

Schooled.

Score. I got an Archie, Betty and Veronica, and a Jughead.

Screw it. I'll go later.

Screwed.

Screwed.

Sea bass. I'll have the sea bass.

SeaWorld is better.

Section 74 C.

Section seven here...

See if Raj is done with Pilates.

See if there's any chance we could get back together?

See if you can spot all 24.

See the paper in The American Physics Journal on supersolids?

See what I did there? I turned it around.

See, in India we don't make the mistake of letting our poor people have dreams.

See?

See? Crazy.

See? Fun.

See? He doesn't mind.

See? Howard's on my side.

See? It's working.

See? With the grain.

Seems a bit racist.

Self destruct sequence aborted.

Self destruct sequence activated.

Seriously, what would you do without me?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seven years.

Seventy three is the 21st prime number.

Sex criminals don't have keys, Ma!

Sex on the Beach. I hardly think so.

Sexual needs.

Sexually.

Sexually.

Shake it, baby, shake it.

Shame. Because I have a real zinger about my tilted uterus.

Shame. Since you're my best friend, it would be a bonding opportunity.

Shamy.

She always this crabby when she urinates?

She befriends them, and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea...

She could've been a 50 year old truck driver in New Jersey.

She designed the red and black jacket in Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video...

She didn't dump me. It was mutual.

She didn't make it through the night, but up till then it was kind of fun.

She didn't tell you?

She doesn't like glycol ether.

She doesn't really understand the whole "Warcraft" adventure role playing thing.

She doesn't want me hanging out with you.

She doesn't want you to know we're dating.

She enjoys making people uncomfortable too.

She gave me a beautiful watch.

She hit on me.

She introduced me to her father...

She isn't the free spirit I am.

She never even got to see my penis.

She said I'm a wonderful girl and you're lucky to have me.

She says it the same way I do.

She seems really sweet.

She stiffed you?

She takes off all of her clothes, climbs in the hot tub.

She thinks it's cool you're following your dream no matter what.

She thinks she got food poisoning from that deli...

She told me she dated a guy named Leonard.

She told me she dated a guy named Leonard.

She understood everything I said. Case closed.

She used to be much more fun until Leonard punched her in the heart.

She wants to talk to you.

She was a girl who was my friend who is now a girl who is not my friend.

She was attempting to engage me in gossip.

She was trying to send you a message.

She went in to visit my uncle Roger, caught something...

She wore the night before...

She'll get lost. We no longer live at 2311 Los Robles.

She's a girl and she's my friend...

She's a girl, she's a friend.

She's a lovely girl. Cute as a button.

She's also a bit of a know it all.

She's also dating an astronaut.

She's awake, she's resting comfortably and we're still running tests.

She's been in there a long time.

She's curvy and she owns it. I like that.

She's had a lot of ice cream.

She's kidding, right?

She's leaving because you really wanna be with me.

She's not my girlfriend, you are.

She's not my girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend. Are you telling me, for the past four months

She's not my, please forgive me for doing this, "girlfriend."

She's really interesting, and I bet I can get used to him.

She's returned home wearing the same clothes

Sheldon and Amy had sex.

Sheldon and I engaged in intercourse.

Sheldon Cooper is nothing if not a team player.

Sheldon doesn't allow flossing that close to the mirror.

Sheldon doesn't get along with Sheldon.

Sheldon gave a lecture tonight. We're reading the reviews.

Sheldon has a girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend.

Sheldon is a bit quirky, isn't he?

Sheldon tells it better.

Sheldon tells me you only have a Master's degree.

Sheldon told me about Leonard dating Rajesh's sister...

Sheldon, Amy. Shamy.

Sheldon, are you all right?

Sheldon, are you gonna join us?

Sheldon, did it ever occur to you

Sheldon, dinner.

Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl?

Sheldon, I am not going through menopause.

Sheldon, I don't think Penny cares about handwriting recognition based...

Sheldon, I think this will work. Let's just try it my way.

Sheldon, I'm gonna make some cocoa. Do you want some?

Sheldon, I'm just not dating someone right now.

Sheldon, I'm not alone in here.

Sheldon, if you try to make a baby with Amy in a petri dish,

Sheldon, it's Saturday night. You'll be doing laundry.

Sheldon, let's go.

Sheldon, let's go.

Sheldon, like it or not...

Sheldon, listen to me.

Sheldon, look at me.

Sheldon, my mother is on her deathbed...

Sheldon, please, you're suffocating me.

Sheldon, sit down. Let's talk.

Sheldon, that computer is used for national defense.

Sheldon, that's my water.

Sheldon, this is ridiculous.

Sheldon, what if he gets his Internet from his cable company?

Sheldon, yes. Everybody's a doctor but me!

Sheldon, you don't have to do this, because Leonard and I are no...

Sheldon?

Sheldon?

Sheldon?

Sheldon?

Sheldon. Sorry.

Sheldon's asleep. What's going on?

Sheldon's new Facebook photo.

Shelly. Dinner's ready.

Shelly. Dinner's ready.

Shelly. Shelly. How many times have I told you...

Shh. Shh. Listen to me. I'm not gonna make it.

Short jokes? Really? You're like a quarter of an inch taller than me.

Shotgun.

Should be. It's $30 a pound.

Should I ask?

Should've seen Leonard when we met. No eye contact.

Should've seen those people. They're thirsty for knowledge...

Show everybody back home I could be someone. Now, look at me.

Show you a night you will never forget.

Shrewd.

Shuffling.

Shut up!

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut your ass.

Sign here, indicating that I tried to stop you...

Simple extrapolation.

Simple. You want a girlfriend. Amy wants to be someone's girlfriend.

Since we come in every Tuesday night at 6:00...

Since we got home from the comic book store.

Since you seem to have forgotten...

Sincerely, Maggie McGarry."

Sing me "Soft Kitty."

Sitar music for her ringtone is not cool, dude.

Sixty only takes me to here.

Sleep eludes me, Leonard.

Slow down, Sheldon. I'm not quite there yet.

Small town outside of Omaha.

Smart. Get paid up front.

Smooth.

So 172

So all in all, can't complain.

So are you guys coming to my New Year's Eve costume party?

So are you sure you don't wanna come with us to Raiders?

So as you can see...

So Bernadette tells me she knows you from, uh, self defense classes.

So did you get to talk to Penny?

So do you know what kind of research you'll be doing...

So don't watch TV, read a book.

So either one of you weirdoes wanna buy my underwear? Only 1400 bucks.

So go apologize.

So how are you doing?

So how did the lecture go?

So how long have you lived in Los Angeles?

So how much money are you going to give me?

So how'd it go?

So how's the food here?

So how's work?

So I decided that the next time I meet a woman I think is attractive...

So I guess it's a good thing we stopped for dinner.

So I knocked down the bathroom door, picked up my unconscious mother...

So I leapt out and ran for it.

So I think it's interesting you didn't call your girlfriend to come get you.

So I've provided you with an ironclad alibi.

So is the McRib sandwich. I don't care for that, either.

So it spells "Sheldon."

So it went beyond the mere fact of coitus to a blow by blow, as it were.

So long story short, I nailed her.

So my blade shall not taste blood tonight?

So needy.

So never.

So not funny, Dad.

So Saturday night. It's gonna be off the hook.

So Saturday night. It's gonna be off the hook.

So ten, one plus zero is one, plus six is seven.

So this button here will allow you to scan a new equation...

So this conversation is as pointless

So this Glenn guy...

So this is how it ends.

So this is nice. First time we've all gotten together to eat.

So this is the plan? We're gonna hide out here to avoid the Shamy?

So to get him off my back, I told him we worked things out.

So we already have you for all that.

So we just sit and stare at the screen, waiting for something to happen?

So we multiply 193

So we'll just call the middle here the Neutral Zone.

So when can we start?

So when Howard said the FBI would be contacting me...

So where should we go tonight? A bar? A club? A movie?

So where's the telescope?

So while I'm gone, you're gonna have to satisfy her.

So you decided to get the whole Manhattan Project?

So you lied to her. Also interesting.

So you'd do a striptease.

So you're saying my insomnia is caused by a guilty conscience.

So you're still just texting and e mailing?

So you're upset about missing out...

So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy...

So your project is more important than mine?

So, Amy, I've been wondering, are you and Sheldon...

So, anyway, to make a long story short...

So, anyway...

So, Howard, tell us, how's it feel knowing that when you two get married...

So, my dear, we meet again.

So, Penny, Leonard tells me you're an actress.

So, Priya, how are you enjoying staying with your brother?

So, uh, what are your plans while you're here?

So, uh, you stopped at the stream and you turned north three times?

So, um, Amy, Sheldon tells me

So, um, Amy, what about you?

So, um, let's get started.

So, what are we talking about?

So, what brings you back to L. A?

So, what do you think we can learn from that behavior...

So, what do you think?

So, what happens when it counts down?

So, what is all that stuff?

So, what is all this?

So, what other annoying habits shall we discuss?

So, what's the gossip?

So, what's up?

So, what's up?

So, what's your news, Bernadette?

So?

So...

So... hot in India?

Social protocol does, however...

Soft kitty, warm kitty

Softy kitty, warm kitty

Some makes sense, some is crazy.

Some sort of creature just manifested out of thin air.

Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.

Someone should stand up to him. What's he gonna do?

Something got you down there, Sheldon?

Sometimes just stuff happens and there's nothing you can do about it.

Sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.

Sometimes, I think it might be nice to have one.

Son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch. Ma, help.

Son of a gun, you're blowing my mind.

Sophisticated and relaxed? Friendly, noncommittal?

Sorry to bother you.

Sorry, didn't know you had company. I don't wanna impose.

Sorry, Dr. Cooper. I forgot you have a touch phobia.

Sorry, dude. The thermostat's on my side of the room...

Sorry, fire regulations. Should have gotten here earlier.

Sorry, I have company.

Sorry, I never figured that a guy like me going out with a girl like you...

Sorry, I'm meeting Amy and Bernadette for dinner.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, the Swedes disproved your theory.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Does Sheldon know you're sleeping here?

Sorry. I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up.

Sounds great.

Sounds like "either."

Specifically, quantum field theory in D dimensional de Sitter space.

Spherical Hankel function.

Spin class, worked up quite a sweat.

Spock to Enterprise. Transport successful.

Stale pastry is hollow succor to a man who is bereft of ostrich.

Star Trek.

Stick her in the ground, flip her mattress and move into the bedroom.

Still digging the Shamy?

Still mad at me about that?

Still nothing.

Still right behind you.

Still sounds like a lot of unnecessary touching.

Stimulating the pleasure centers of the brain count?

Stuart?

Stupid Aquaman.

Subject to entropy, decay and eventual death.

Suck on that, Sheldon Cooper."

Suffered in silence?

Sultry Sunrise Red. What do you think?

Superman probably isn't getting laid tonight.

Superseded.

Sure, half a carat's fine.

Sure, let's see it.

Sure, that has birds in it.

Sure, we can exchange it for a salad spinner. Goodbye.

Sure, you can. You're doing fine. It's very believable.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. Bring as many as you want.

Sure. We're going to the cafeteria to get some coffee.

Surprise.

Surprisingly, yes.

Sweet.

Sweetheart, just because we have fun when I come to town...

Switching it up from last year when we came as the Justice League of America.

Ta da!

Ta da!

Ta da.

Take her off my hands. I give you my blessing.

Take us someplace we can waltz.

Takes care of the bathroom problem and it keeps your calf warm.

Tea does sound nice.

Tell him Dr. Cooper feels that the best use of his time...

Tell me about it. It's frakking frustrating.

Tell me about these two.

Tell me you're not dating an American. I knew this would happen.

Tell them not to do something, that's all they wanna do.

Tell your boyfriend to cool it with the cow jokes.

Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri.

Terrific.

Terrific. Go ahead, Zack. Naked drunk girl, free balling, continue.

Terrific. Great.

Terrific. My point is, you need to face up to what you're feeling with this breakup.

Test phrases? All right.

Than Leonard in high heeled boots?

Thank God he had a dummy.

Thank you for asking. Why is she not taking our order?

Thank you for driving me.

Thank you for filing a complaint with my superior, Dr. Cooper.

Thank you, Amy.

Thank you, Amy.

Thank you, Amy. Here's your cat.

Thank you, Daddy.

Thank you, Dr. Cooper. I think I have all I need.

Thank you, Leonard. That doesn't make it sound boring at all.

Thank you, officer.

Thank you, Penny.

Thank you, Penny.

Thank you, Raj.

Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you so much!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Hey, have you and Howard started planning your wedding yet?

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Thank you. I just wanna say I'm a big fan.

Thank you. I thought we might start...

Thank you. I've also sent Amy a relationship termination notice...

Thank you. Now go and put some clothes on.

Thank you. Now, don't worry, everything's gonna be fine.

Thank you. Oh, sorry, I have to go. I have a customer. Bye bye.

Thank you. That's what I was going for.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Thanks for coming, Sheldon. You're a good friend.

Thanks for stopping by, sweetie. I'll see you later.

Thanks, Bernadette.

Thanks, I'll sleep on the floor.

Thanks, we were shooting for nifty.

Thanks, Wyatt.

Thanks. Our culprit is one Mr. Todd Zarnecki.

Thanks. What are you guys doing?

That all sucks the big hairy meatball.

That bad, huh?

That bitch is crafty.

That bitch!

That bitch.

That covers anything from farting in bed to killing a homeless guy.

That day, we made a pinky swear...

That depends.

That does it. I'm getting uranium.

That does seem to be a valid principle.

That doesn't count.

That doesn't interest me. Goodbye.

That explains those puzzling camel race photos on your Facebook page.

That game?

That gave us Country Bear Jamboree.

That green bag is Dr. Cooper's. Here's an extra 5. Make him wait.

That happened to you?

That happens with me and my mom all the time.

That I might have other plans?

That I might have other plans?

That is a beautiful tapestry.

That is apt and amusing.

That is good news. Bye.

That is his girlfriend. Be ashamed of yourself.

That is insane.

That is not even close to the real number.

That is ridiculous.

That long, huh?

That means it's better than his research, and by extension, of course, yours.

That means that for over 300 years...

That means you're all probably gonna be hanging out there more.

That one always makes me laugh.

That particular dog of war will have to call you back after his bath.

That petition looked real to me.

That seals in the flavor without the fat.

That seems fairly conclusive.

That should display enough bosom to attract a new mate or a hungry infant.

That should hold me for a while.

That shouldn't be too hard. He's a cutie.

That sounds lovely.

That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

That the guy you were telling me about?

That was a great meal.

That was a great party.

That was a vote of the International Astronomical Union.

That was actually a poorly chosen example...

That was my first thought.

That was rude.

That was two hours ago.

That was uncalled for, but I'll play along. Ow.

That went into this arm will one day make

That, dear lady,

That... That's brilliant.

That's 28 Days Later. 28 Days is where Sandra Bullock goes to rehab...

That's a good sign, right?

That's a great accent. Where are you from?

That's a Hanukkah present you're regretting, huh?

That's a little easier to believe than he's your friend.

That's a peculiar conclusion.

That's a stupid question.

That's all. I've just been thinking about it.

That's amazing.

That's amusing. Autocorrect must've changed it.

That's an amusing factoid.

That's an atom.

That's different. First of all, we're not engaged...

That's discrimination against the otherwise located.

That's downright cruel.

That's easy enough.

That's even factoring in your difficulty...

That's fine. Why don't we go fool around in our bedroom?

That's for a foot race. We'd have to go outside.

That's for me, Ramone, Julio, Jesus, and Rodrigo to know...

That's from Avatar.

That's funny, ask anyone.

That's going to make me a chick magnet, and I'm so busy as it is.

That's gold.

That's good to hear because I've got some news.

That's good, that's good, that's good.

That's gotta be fun for you, huh?

That's great news about you and Bernadette.

That's great, Mom, thanks!

That's great.

That's how I take it.

That's interesting. Can you just switch restaurants like that, Priya?

That's it, prepare to be minimized.

That's it. Bye bye.

That's it. Prepare for marshmallow death.

That's just Sheldon backwards.

That's kind of creepy.

That's Leonard. He says he loves you.

That's my joke, I told it last night. You can't just use it.

That's my parents on video chat. Go hide in the bedroom.

That's my water.

That's nice that they're getting along.

That's nice. What about?

That's no threat.

That's not correct. We were implying it.

That's not how it looks in the picture.

That's not the point.

That's not the right kind of Indian, but it is something.

That's not true of all bars. Juice bars for example.

That's not what he meant.

That's not where it was going.

That's not your lunch, Sheldon. Those are the cadaver brain specimens.

That's not your water.

That's of little comfort to a nation attempting to sc**** burning feces...

That's okay, I can infer from context.

That's okay. You can just sleep here.

That's our Lenny, huh? Ha, ha.

That's pathetic. Let me show you how a real magician does it.

That's probably part of what chased Leonard away.

That's rather unfair.

That's really not the sort of thing we're interested in.

That's sad.

That's sort of like the uncertainly principle.

That's the first time we've ever done that...

That's the headline.

That's the nicest thing he does to your sister.

That's the rankest psychologism...

That's the work of noted Hollywood costume designer Deborah Nadoolman.

That's thinking ahead.

That's too bad.

That's too many S's for kissing.

That's two nights in a row I can sleep over with you.

That's two, dude. Write your own jokes.

That's unacceptable. We're supposed to be given written notice.

That's very nice, Stuart. Zack?

That's what I hear.

That's what I said.

That's what I told him when he asked me. I hope that's not out of line.

That's what we're here to talk to you about. You see, Bernadette has needs.

That's where I sit.

That's why I'm here.

That's why it happens.

That's why the foreplay goes on and on.

That's your big solution to all of our problems?

The accused exceeded...

The alternative would be to think backwards...

The atomic bomb was the Manhattan Project...

The audible sigh is a show of exasperation, right?

The backwash into this glass...

The baseball, the freedom, the rampant morbid obesity.

The Big Bang Theory 4x01 The Robotic Manipulation Original Air Date on September 23, 2010

The board of directors insists he has a beautiful mind, I think he's just bananas.

The building's plumbing.

The capybara is the largest member of the rodent family.

The celestial bodies that follow are:

The code also states that if she disobeys...

The crown was irregularly shaped, there was no way to determine its volume.

The desperate act of a little man with a big Napoleon complex.

The droning buzz of cicadas:

The earliest estimate of the singularity.

The fight or flight instinct is coded genetically.

The first bathroom break isn't until the Denny's located near Bakersfield...

The first machine I turn on is the helium neon laser, because it needs to warm up.

The free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.

The fun loving and morally loose Miss Maggie McGarry.

The fun starts with brunch at Carney's in Studio City...

The fun thing about Prince Joey...

The girlfriend and the ex girlfriend bonding over your rooty tooty stinky booty.

The greasy old fat guy in Facilities Management?

The great and powerful Woz.

The guy makes me buy a Gatorade every time. It's a vicious circle.

The Hammurabic code is an eye for an eye, not a bed for a bed.

The hand thinks it's holding a screwdriver in outer space.

The highlight was when you showed us...

The Hindu Code of Manu is very clear in these matters.

The hope has been that you'd eventually bend to public opinion.

The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

The humorous implication being that I am Wile E. Coyote?

The hybrid dog and octopus.

The Internet suggests that slumber party guests...

The Jar Jar Binks of the Star Trek universe.

The Kobayashi Maru.

The least I can do is let him hang out and watch cable.

The lonely guy and the two happy couples?

The low lying city of Copenhagen is flooded, thousands die...

The lusty charmer with the fancy patter and the hoochie pants.

The Mars Rover?

The meme has reached full penetration.

The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf...

The motion carries.

The movie starts at midnight and it's already 5:00.

The name and the address drip with evil.

The name literally beckons.

The new Sandra Bullock movie is playing.

The old people came up to you, pinched your cheek, handed you a savings bond.

The old Unabomber approach. Kudos.

The one place in the world where saying "I own a comic book store"...

The online game? Sure.

The only explanation I can come up with...

The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan.

The only thing is, I'm gonna be gone for two years.

The only tree bark I know that humans consume is cinnamon.

The original piece of gossip indicated an impending breakup.

The other monkeys just sit around and masturbate.

The pencil's rubber.

The phone companies have been lying to me.

The pleasures of fellowship and camaraderie...

The point is, if this got out, it would destroy Howard and Raj's friendship.

The Priya bashing's starting early. Yay, heh.

The program is paused.

The raffle...

The real danger is him biting my face off while I'm sleeping.

The relationship simply outlived its utility...

The required intimacy via text messaging?

The right to bathroom privacy...

The robot hand is stuck on your what?

The same way I'm not afraid of all steak knives.

The serpent and the old woman.

The simple mindedness of your idea...

The stars at night are big and bright

The story's starting to fall apart.

The stuff we were saying before, we were just kidding around.

The supermarket was out of my regular fabric softener.

The Surprisingly Helpful Equation Linked Differential...

The thesis committee accepted my doctoral dissertation.

The thing is, I kind of told my father we got back together again.

The thing is...

The things I should know, I do know.

The things I should know, I do know.

The trick is to carry it out to your car like you own it.

The trouble I've seen

The trouble I've seen

The trouble I've seen

The two of them now share a coffee can on my mother's mantel.

The various obligations and duties of the parties...

The volcano thing? No.

The wand is a reader. It's transmitting to your phone.

The wand is called showmanship, and the beep is none of your business.

The what?

The what?

The what?

The whole thing's bull squirt, huh?

The wildebeest is in the curry.

The winter solstice is a big night.

The word I was looking for was "befuddled."

The word is forbade.

The words they'll be carving into my tombstone.

Then 128.

Then as a mental exercise, I invite you to figure out...

Then finally, we're off to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood...

Then I guess we would let him back on the app team.

Then I'll stimulate the analogous area in a rhesus monkey and see if he cries.

Then I'm afraid you can't withdraw it.

Then it hits her, how is she going to survive?

Then it's just Q&A, quiz, safety drills...

Then she stuck her tongue down my throat.

Then stack the deck.

Then the studio must have real faith in it.

Then what was last night about?

Then who are you talking to?

Then why are you surprised she didn't tell you?

Then why did you terminate your relationship with him?

Then, this is my first date.

There are a couple of things I did with Penny that might be a little silly, but...

There are a lot of bitches out there.

There are a lot of girls out there who wanna kiss you.

There are more rich old ladies out there and daddy needs a new linear accelerator.

There are no heroes when it comes to dermatitis.

There are no stupid questions.

There are over 50 different sphincters in the human body.

There are some great research facilities in India.

There is quicksand to the west, a path leads to the east."

There is something I should prepare you for.

There it is, Priya. We're Indian. We believe this stuff.

There it is.

There should be no value to his pseudo celebrity here.

There was no question, I simply said, "Hoo."

There was one time I put body glitter on.

There was the time I had my tonsils out...

There were a couple of opportunities available...

There were a couple of opportunities available...

There were no emotional bonds...

There you go.

There you go.

There you go.

There's a 9.95 eBook down the drain.

There's a big difference.

There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this:

There's a piece of tape on the floor you're supposed to stand behind.

There's an Olive Garden down the street. You guys should try it sometime.

There's baby oil, condoms...

There's no assigned seats, Sheldon.

There's no cholera in Pasadena.

There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe.

There's no one around, so naturally I'm free balling it.

There's no one right answer.

There's no quid pro quo here.

There's no room. His sister is staying with him.

There's no switch. Just listen and learn.

There's nothing he can do that'll surprise me.

There's someone at my door.

There's still 93 ways she hasn't tried yet.

There's Zack.

Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase "I informed you thusly."

These are Crocs.

These are Nine West.

These are Target. Oh, but don't they look like Chanel?

These cards have barcodes on them.

They are my biggest seller. Yes, ladies, sizes 6 through 10.

They can't function without me.

They can't starve to death, they're already dead.

They discuss current events, play bridge, get a hot meal.

They don't argue or question my intellectual authority.

They don't argue or question my intellectual authority.

They dressed up in leotards and goggles.

They drew it so the testicles were my eyes.

They gave us science, democracy...

They got my enchanted weapons, my Vicious Gladiator armor...

They kind of whup that out of you in Catholic school.

They knew what they were doing.

They might be smarter than some people.

They really do be crazy.

They said something about going there this summer.

They say it is to Viagra as Viagra is to a green M&M.

They say we're young and we don't know

They share a spice palette.

They sound delicious...

They took my battle ostrich.

They were injecting rats with radioactive isotopes and one of the techs got bit.

They were injecting rats with radioactive isotopes and one of the techs got bit.

They were strangers and seemed off put...

They'd have a cow. Which is a much bigger deal in India.

They're asking me all sorts of questions I can't answer.

They're bigger than mine.

They're cute when they're about to wet themselves, aren't they?

They're going to make a robot that spits on your hamburger?

They're gonna pay me a buttload of money.

They're just doing a background check on me.

They're so cute.

Think about it, Raj. Where did the movie Rocky take place?

Think about that, Dr. Tyson.

Think of it as, uh...

Thirty two ounce banana smoothie, 16 ounce bladder.

This act of aggression must be met with swift and cruel ferocity.

This deck is rigged in some fashion.

This feels natural.

This goes without saying, but I'm gonna anyway.

This guy's working from a hypothesis where...

This is a big night for Sheldon.

This is a form indemnifying me...

This is a little awkward...

This is a photograph of the 1911 Solvay Conference...

This is a portable electroencephalogram.

This is an interesting topic.

This is delicious. Where did you learn to make chili?

This is Dr. Koothrappali in Pasadena.

This is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali...

This is gonna decide who's the hero and who's the sidekick?

This is good. Whatever it is.

This is great. I haven't had a vacation in ages.

This is Indiana Jones, not Star Trek.

This is it.

This is moving faster than we thought.

This is my nine disc complete Lord of the Rings trilogy Blu ray set.

This is never going to come off.

This is not over.

This is nothing but a blatant abuse of power by a petty functionary.

This is perfect.

This is pretty good. What flavor is this?

This is remarkable.

This is ridiculous. I'm coming to talk to you.

This is ridiculous. You're just making stuff up.

This is Sheldon Cooper.

This is the difference between eating and dining.

This is the most cruel thing we've done to Sheldon since we left that fake message...

This is the opening salvo in what will be an escalating series...

This is the tavern where all the black market weapon trades go down.

This is very interesting.

This is where we could've been if Koothrappali hadn't ordered dessert.

This is where we could've been if we hadn't stopped for dinner.

This isn't a desk. This is a Brobdingnagian monstrosity.

This isn't over.

This lobster's good on the way down and the way up.

This may be the alcohol talking, but I believe there is.

This may seem a little odd at first...

This might be a good time to point out...

This one's funny, Leonard.

This opportunity to kill Sheldon.

This says you can make "end of life" decisions for me.

This stuff is horrible. Wanna see if we can find real coffee?

This tale is doon, and God save all the route.

This time do it with me, so I can make sure there's no monkey business.

This was a very productive evening.

This was about Bernadette.

Those are the stars that are nearest to me.

Those chaps are very successful, and they don't drink a lot.

Those were the last words he ever spoke to us.

Though he didn't wanna give the lecture, being rejected by students hit him hard.

Though if pressed, I'd have to give a slight edge to the cat.

Three of clubs.

Three thousand hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold.

Three thousand hours.

Three, four, five, pass go...

Thursday is now cruciferous vegetable night.

Tilting at that particular windmill.

Times 0.18 gives us...

To a hospital? Full of sick people?

To a rare and wonderful Sheldon free evening.

To be clear, I meant Bernadette, not your mother.

To bring new life into this world,

To comfort you, of course.

To drinking.

To friends, no matter how quirky.

To go on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler.

To guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow.

To James Tiberius Kirk.

To live long enough to fuse my consciousness with cybernetics...

To science and friendship.

To that point, it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity...

To the bar to sterilize my mouth with alcohol.

To the conversation we're having right now.

To the metric system.

To the toilet! Is that okay with you?

To wit, one.

To your knowledge, does Mr. Wolowitz have any foreign contacts?

To, uh...

Tobacco and alcohol? Need I remind you not a lot of scientific discoveries...

Today I drove to an audition I thought was gonna be for a cat food commercial.

Today, it's a Chinese food retrieval robot.

Today's the day a girl's finally gonna touch you in your little special place.

Together in this car with my enhanced capabilities...

Toilet's sounding pretty good now, huh?

Told you.

Tomorrow, it travels back in time

Tonight is pizza night.

Tonight is Thai food.

Tonight, we take back our dignity, our birthright and our pride.

Tonight? Sure. That'd be great.

Tonight's selection, Brussels sprouts.

Tonight's selections include...

Too bad. I was hoping you could be my plus one...

Too soon to say, I'm not done yet!

Took less than 24 hours.

Top of her class. Cambridge University.

Top of the morning to you.

Totally.

Tough break. You want eggs?

Tra la la and fiddle dee dee.

Track its progress through our social group...

Tradition.

Transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation.

Troll master.

Trouble is my middle name, Leonard. Actually, it's Lee, but I prefer "Trouble."

True dat.

Trust me, I know.

Trust me, she's ready. Make the move.

Trust me. With your right hand, locate the spot...

Truth.

Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away.

Turn around and slowly walk away.

Turn over the seventh card.

Turned out to be porn.

Turns out that if you kill a starfish, it'll just come back to life.

Turns out they guard the iPods, but they don't guard the shirts.

Turns out you can't.

Twelve years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table.

Twenty five cats!

Twenty seconds.

Ugh, I don't want the next level. I like this level.

Ugh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh. Anyway. I'm not sure she's the best fit...

Uh huh. I'm guessing 21 seconds had something to do with that too.

Uh huh. So Howard's not here?

Uh oh.

Uh oh. That's Priya.

Uh, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?

Uh, as a matter of fact, l... l... I can't. I can't. I can't do it.

Uh, because I don't need his girlfriend to set me up with one of her girlfriends.

Uh, building manager.

Uh, Captain Kirk activated the self destruct sequence...

Uh, for readers of the New England Journal of High Energy Physics...

Uh, gee, Howard, I really don't wanna get in the middle of this.

Uh, gee, I don't know

Uh, Howard, I appreciate the effort...

Uh, I kind of have a problem I was hoping you could help me with.

Uh, I thought we'd begin by going around the room, introducing ourselves...

Uh, I'm not sure.

Uh, imagine my attitude...

Uh, it's what controls the arm.

Uh, my plans with Priya.

Uh, nice touch, by the way.

Uh, not that I know of.

Uh, okay, sure. Why not?

Uh, Penny, that's Glenn.

Uh, rash. That's a bad rash.

Uh, she wants to have dinner and talk about my research.

Uh, she's currently helping set up a secondary derivative market...

Uh, so, what would you like to know?

Uh, sure. Very, uh, prominent.

Uh, they have to fix a pipe, so the water will be off tomorrow from noon to 2.

Uh, what is that scent you're wearing?

Uh, why don't you see if you can organize your thoughts and we'll try again later.

Uh, yeah, I wouldn't say many.

Uh, yeah, yeah. That sounds great.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... A smile means something different in my country.

Um, ahem, hi, I'm Stuart.

Um, ahem, hi, I'm Stuart.

Um, hey, how does he know I jog?

Um, hey, how does he know I jog?

Um, how about this.

Um, I've never really thought about it. Why?

Um, if I were Batman and you were Alfred, you'd keep that secret, right?

Um, it's fairly technical.

Um, okay. Sure. You... Luckily, we sell both shoes and yogurt here.

Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I'm on my way to Prague...

Um, sure. What do you got in mind?

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um...

Umbrella?

Unbelievable.

Uncle Carl said, "I think there's a badger living in our chimney.

Uncomfortable silence it is.

Under normal circumstances I'd say I told you so...

Unified field theory, cold fusion, the dogapus.

Unless he takes Bernadette's last name.

Unless it gets to the old woman in time...

Unless Leonard signs the new agreement...

Unless the air dries her sinuses...

Unless we are under attack by water soluble aliens.

Unless, of course, mugs are sufficient.

Unlike Leonard, I respect you.

Unlikely...

Unskilled food servers such as yourself obsolete.

Until I can transfer my intellect to a more durable container...

Until I met you, my decisions were founded in logic and reason.

Until I met you, my trips to the bathroom...

Until Priya gets her own place, you stay here and I'll stay at your apartment.

Until such time as I am able to transfer my consciousness...

Up to 193 men.

Using in vitro fertilization

Using Kolinahr to suppress my anger at that last comment.

Using Photoshop, I've introduced a few anachronisms.

Very good, Leonard. But next time, don't tell us where you're hiding.

Very hard.

Very nice of you, but I made other plans.

Very nice. You lie to my sister.

Very well, if you die and donate your body to science...

Very well, would you be interested in knowing...

Very well.

Very well. Ahem.

Very well. Ahem.

Very well. I'm sure I can find something that will help you ditch that itch.

Violation of the Roommate Agreement's overnight guest notification clause.

W is for witty, he's quick with a joke.

Wait a minute a child?

Wait a minute, a girl like me? What's that mean?

Wait a minute, are you telling me your mother usually takes you to the dentist?

Wait a minute. You're not going to do anything?

Wait a second, I'm doing your laundry?

Wait for my mom's heart to explode from all the salt she eats.

Wait here.

Wait till you hear how he dumbs down Werner Heisenberg for the crowd.

Wait, forgive me...

Wait, honey, have you ever run before?

Wait, Katee. Why are you leaving?

Wait, that was all a lie? This year's gifts are already wrapped.

Wait, uh, Penny, there's something I have to tell you.

Wait, wait. Just to be clear, when you guys say spa...

Wait, wait. What?

Wait, where are you going? We were doing so well.

Wait, you can't leave here, you've been exposed.

Wait, you hate dogs.

Wait. Are you telling us that old lady wanted to have sex with you...

Wait. Come back.

Wait. Sheldon, this is crazy.

Wait... Sheldon, you can't reprogram people.

Waiting for you to finish knocking three times.

Walk him through this.

Walking tree.

Waltz. It's a social dance from Austria...

Wanna talk about crazy mothers?

Wants a test tube grandbaby born out of wedlock?

Was it about me or the dead pixels?

Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj...

Was she upset?

Was that the best 99 cents I ever spent or what?

Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts?

Watch. Hey! Who said you could eat that shrimp?

Watching Hofstadter suck the saliva out of your sister's mouth?

Water Demon.

Water nymph.

Water, neat...

Way to go on the details.

Way to go, Priya.

We agreed when it was "eureka" time, we were all gonna say it together.

We are like wild animals in heat.

We are no longer friends.

We are not having coitus.

We are winged fury.

We are. In the meantime...

We can do all kinds of stuff from the waist up, you know.

We can still see something.

We can talk during break. We have one coming up at midnight.

We can't keep explaining everything. Read that book we got you.

We could argue about who said what all night...

We could. We could also stop using the letter M.

We could've been having sex, but you never made the move.

We did it!

We don't discuss anything.

We don't know that yet, he isn't finished. I have a girlfriend and you don't who?

We get it. 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.

We had a good run, you and I.

We have been monitoring your son, Sheldon, from the 23rd century...

We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.

We have time now. Think about it.

We have to do our part too.

We heard there was a tornado in Kansas City.

We may have to kill her.

We might be starting to zero in on your problem.

We might not get seats?

We need to fabricate a tantalizing piece of gossip.

We need to start entertaining the possibility...

We need to talk about my old boyfriend now?

We never did. That would be a terrible, terrible thing.

We now live at 311 Los Robles.

We postulate an alternate world that differs from ours in one aspect...

We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me.

We should dress like this all the time.

We should try to take her mind off it...

We thought you might wanna go out, have a good time, maybe go dancing.

We tried. She doesn't get along with Sheldon.

We were all exhausted and he was threatening to filibuster.

We were in here first.

We were just comparing notes about how you are in the sack.

We weren't getting back together. It was a one time thing.

We won't find out until we grow

We work so hard, sometimes it's nice to goof off and do something silly.

We'd better call somebody to come pick us up.

We'd need a large tank of water, a hoop to jump through...

We'd never put Meemaw in a home.

We'll close our eyes and count to ten while you hide.

We'll grab a bite before I head for the airport.

We'll just see how your noxious gas fares...

We'll never know.

We'll play Intergalactic Battleship and Indian Monopoly.

We'll play Intergalactic Battleship and Indian Monopoly.

We'll probably be trashing Priya a little.

We're all a little worried about Sheldon.

We're going to be late. I'm pacing nervously.

We're gonna be hundredaires.

We're gonna have to be very quiet.

We're gonna start seeing each other again.

We're gonna use that to our advantage.

We're having a conversation about probing the heinies of superheroes.

We're here to kidnap you for a girls' night out.

We're looking for Sheldon, not Marmaduke.

We're not going out anymore, I should pay for myself.

We're not playing. This is real work.

We're not wasting time with names right now.

We're out of tea. I hope you like bouillon.

We're really not that close.

We're scanning equations and getting good results.

We're scientists. We observe everything. Here, go buy yourself a scone.

We're the Justice League of America. There's only one thing we can do:

We're very rich in a very poor country.

We've already established I'm found on the periodic table.

We've been through this, it's not time.

We've got a hit.

We've only just rekindled the romance.

Well groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other. Case closed.

Well, actually, I may have gotten a little tipsy when I talked to her.

Well, aren't you sweet.

Well, beavers eat tree bark.

Well, breakups...

Well, certainly. I'd like to raise two points.

Well, come now, Leonard...

Well, come on, Raj, how am I supposed to know who she's attracted to?

Well, did you know...

Well, doesn't matter if she gets it, as long as she's pretty.

Well, don't tell me that's not girl talk.

Well, excuse me. That was not a betrayal.

Well, go ask Leonard. I did.

Well, go, Amy Farrah Fowler.

Well, good evening, Leonard, Howard, Raj.

Well, good for you. Come on in.

Well, granted, Penny, you're secondary sexual characteristics are bodacious...

Well, he pointed out that he kind of, sort of, had to put up with you.

Well, he's an ass when he doesn't. You just don't hear it.

Well, he's my friend. It's what you do.

Well, honey, if you're that tired, why don't you just take a nap here in the car?

Well, honey, it's not gonna do itself. Heh, heh.

Well, I assume you were opening with a joke.

Well, I did mention the Mars Rover incident to that FBI agent...

Well, I don't care how you did it.

Well, I don't know if all that's true

Well, I got a better idea. We're all responsible. I say we all go.

Well, I guess it's just the two of us, huh?

Well, I guess the difference is I have some self respect.

Well, I have to void my bladder.

Well, I mean, you know how it is with guys. We have needs, and... Heh.

Well, I must say you make a very persuasive case for it.

Well, I suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Well, I think I have a nice 2009 AnaMantle HC.

Well, I wanted to. Come on, open it.

Well, I was getting your stupid umbrella, but all right.

Well, I was hoping to avoid this.

Well, I wasn't swinging around a pole.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

Well, I'm just glad you finally found yourself a keeper.

Well, I'm not getting in bed with him.

Well, I'm off to meet Bernadette's friend. How do I look?

Well, I'm sorry, it's not my fault. I'm just incredibly smart...

Well, I've been taking a Pilates class at the rec center.

Well, if I had to guess, I'd say I'm here because you saw me this evening...

Well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton.

Well, if it's not cholera, then based on a quick Internet search...

Well, if you...

Well, isn't that sweet?

Well, it might not be a great idea to invite those two.

Well, it would appear LeVar Burton won't be joining us.

Well, it's a table, right? I mean, why can't there be food on it?

Well, it's in Hawaii, but Raj controls it from here.

Well, it's not as much surprised as...

Well, it's not boring at all. You see, in higher order mathematics...

Well, it's not that late.

Well, it's not weird. There's lots of kids there with their moms.

Well, live and learn.

Well, long story short, they really do have a little jail in the mall.

Well, maybe we can do an experiment to find out.

Well, maybe you can join us. I'll ask Penny.

Well, my work in physics, her work in neurobiology,

Well, no one's going to run a DNA test on it, Leonard.

Well, no, not per se, but...

Well, no, sir, and do you know why?

Well, normally I respect your macho rebellious attitude toward the man...

Well, not now. We're starting a new relationship.

Well, not so much depressed as lonely.

Well, now hold on.

Well, obviously, we're no longer a Justice League.

Well, okay, uh, with the Indian food, the pizza...

Well, putting aside the pig Latin...

Well, regardless, I've got four tickets.

Well, rest assured, I am in full possession of my faculties.

Well, seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on.

Well, seeing as your project is to sabotage my project, yes.

Well, she obviously wants to take your relationship to the next level.

Well, so much for that.

Well, sure, but I'm going out with Bernadette.

Well, sure.

Well, that and jiggling her arm fat.

Well, that seems fair.

Well, that speaks volumes, doesn't it?

Well, that was a little uncalled for.

Well, that was the last arrow in my quiver of whimsy.

Well, that's disappointing.

Well, that's great.

Well, that's how I'm gonna make it look.

Well, that's it then. I'm dead.

Well, that's not fancy at all.

Well, that's very disappointing.

Well, the FBI Crime Lab does have a lot on its plate.

Well, then apparently you hate fun.

Well, then good news.

Well, then let's un pause it.

Well, then prepare to be terrified.

Well, then what do you want us to do?

Well, this is Greek food.

Well, this seems like an odd time to test my cell phone quality, but go on.

Well, this was fun.

Well, type two diabetes runs in my family.

Well, uh, no, it's just something I threw on.

Well, uh, to paraphrase Shakespeare:

Well, uh... I can't believe you'd use Sheldon's toothbrush.

Well, we can watch it later on C SPAN.

Well, we may never know.

Well, we sure saw that coming.

Well, we'll just see how long you can hold out.

Well, well, well.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Well, what makes me the weakest member?

Well, what was your side?

Well, whatever. I'm sure Bernadette can do better.

Well, when challenged, monkeys generally assert their dominance...

Well, when you say it like that, you make it sound creepy.

Well, wherever we're going, she's sending a car to pick me up.

Well, whether you see it or not is irrelevant.

Well, who would ever guess that?

Well, whose fault is that?

Well, why don't you tell her?

Well, yes, but things have changed. You're older, I'm older.

Well, you can go think that at the back of the line.

Well, you have to put in a credit card number, but it's fun.

Well, you know, like I said, I have plans.

Well, you know, like the way I took my clothes off.

Well, you look great.

Well, you really wanna dot the I's...

Well, you remind me of a boy I dated in college.

Well, you're the expert.

Well, your expectations have been subverted.

Well, your hair looks very nice.

Were those criteria met?

Were we here earlier?

Wha... Twenty one seconds? That'll be like seeing a whole new movie.

Wha...?

Wha...?

What a great day.

What a great day.

What a remarkably fragile structure to support such a valuable payload.

What about environmental factors? Describe the scene for me.

What about it?

What about that hookup at Comic Con you told me about?

What about the guy who gets a prostate exam from Wolverine?

What about you, Stuart? You have a girlfriend yet?

What about you? Have you been seeing anybody?

What about you? I can't promise anything...

What alibi?

What am I going to do for dinner?

What am I supposed to do?

What am I up to now?

What an elf I would have made.

What are you doing at work these days?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing in there? She can't be in here.

What are you doing up?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Howard's your best friend.

What are you gonna do, Sheldon, blow up the apartment?

What are you suggesting?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you working on?

What astronaut story?

What can I do? I can't stop thinking about her.

What can I tell you, after I found the courage...

What choice did I have?

What could we do? He's the travel supervisor.

What did he say?

What did I do?

What did she say when you told her?

What did you guys think of Caprica last night?

What did you say when Zack walked in?

What didn't they get?

What do we have here?

What do we owe you?

What do you do in the potty, wee wee?

What do you do?

What do you got for me, wildebeest?

What do you mean "a show"?

What do you mean it happened again?

What do you mean what does it look like? It looks like an envelope!

What do you mean, whose fault was that?

What do you mean? What happened to Leonard?

What do you say?

What do you say? Who's with me?

What do you think that means?

What do you think?

What do you wanna do? Do you wanna come or sit here alone?

What do you wanna talk about? Rocks? Dinosaurs?

What do you want me to do?

What do you want?

What do you want?

What do you want?

What does it look like?

What does that have to do with me and women?

What does your cotillion training say is expected of a gentleman...

What happened last night?

What happened to the Leonard who waited in line with me for 14 hours...

What happened to you, Wolowitz?

What happened to you?

What happened with the contacts?

What happens if they can't get any human flesh to eat?

What has to break inside your brain for you to think:

What I am saying, Sheldon, is that your group is Leonard centric.

What if he serves haggis and blood pudding?

What if he's right? And by not participating in gossip...

What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt and come home to change...

What if she just comes over?

What if she wasn't kidding?

What if someone asks?

What if the Earth was in danger and the only way to save it...

What if we put out a light version for half a million?

What insult?

What is he, like 6'4"or 6'5"?

What is that you're eating?

What is that?

What is the best number?

What is the circumference of your areolas?

What is this?

What is this?

What it was like for you growing up in Texas?

What kind of needs?

What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle?

What kind of superhero says:

What level is that?

What makes you think I can convince her?

What other thing?

What should we do?

What the hell are you guys playing?

What the hell did I do?

What the hell did she say?

What the hell is wrong with you?

What the hell is wrong with you?

What the hell was that?

What the hell?

What the hell? How long has she been there?

What up, bestie?

What up, Shel Bot?

What was all that about me trading sexual favors for material gain?

What were the symptoms?

What would a toilet look like in Atlantis?

What would it take for you to abandon Leonard...

What would you be if you were attached to another object...

What you doing there?

What you doing, trying to contact your home planet?

What you might not know is Bernadette is planning on breaking up with Howard.

What you thinking so hard about?

What you've gotta keep in mind is that ever since my dad left...

What, I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?

What, with my tongue in your tail?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? I don't know. It doesn't matter.

What? It's fun.

What? Oh, God, yeah, yeah.

What? The kissing and everything?

What? Where are you sleeping, Priya?

What? Why?

What? You know I don't drive.

What?! No saws!

What...

What...

What...? Dude, that's my sister you're talking about.

What...? Galileo did his best work while drinking wine.

What...? No!

What'd your mother say when you told her?

What's 16 times 14?

What's a dogapus?

What's a stadium pal?

What's going on?

What's he observing?

What's more likely to kill Howard's mother...

What's that like?

What's that, some weird sex thing?

What's that?

What's the matter?

What's the problem?

What's the thanks I get for turning Leonard into quality boyfriend material?

What's there?

What's troubling you, buddy?

What's up with the infrared cameras?

What's up with you?

What's up?

What's with the fancy spread?

What's with the T shirt? You're working at the Apple store now?

What's with the wand and the beep?

What's... ?

Whatever it is, we're here for you.

Whatever your secret is, I'm sure it's boring. So I'm not interested.

Whee!

When a suitcase just won't do.

When does a monkey have a trunk?

When facing disappointment, Eat, Pray, Love teaches us...

When he finished, he shouted, "Eureka."

When I broke up with Penny, I got back into my cello...

When I call him, his phone plays "Brown Eyed Girl"...

When I was at university in England, my flatmate was from Texas.

When I'm in bed with a girl, it's my go to response.

When is my pawn allowed to use the golf cart?

When is the raffle?

When it's done charging.

When last we spoke, you were gonna take a taxi home from Raj's.

When man will be able to transfer his consciousness into machines...

When man will be able to transfer his consciousness into machines...

When she comes out with Eat, Pray, Run Away From a Giant Boulder, I'll read it.

When she wants to have sex, she puts on her plus size Wonder Woman costume...

When the serpent slithers to an opposing player's piece...

When war breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino.

When were you gonna tell me about this?

When when Winnie the Pooh got his head stuck

When would you have accidentally eaten chrysanthemum blossoms?

When you arrive at the lab in the morning, what machine do you turn on?

When you get this, tell Leonard to check his voicemail.

When you go to a Chinese restaurant, he gets the same fortune in his fortune cookie.

When you leave right after we make love, it makes me feel cheap.

When you see someone wearing shoes you like...

When you start crying, I can see which region of the brain is activated.

Where am I going to find uranium 235 this time of night?

Where are all your friends?

Where are the Rocky Mountains?

Where are we going?

Where are we? What is happening?

Where are you going with this, Leonard?

Where are you going, the drive through at Jack in the Box?

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

Where did he go?

Where did you get 171 men?

Where do they keep the Archies?

Where exactly on the Internet have you been looking?

Where he goes, the group goes.

Where indeed.

Where is the curiosity?

Where would I have picked up an alien parasite?

Where you can what?

Where's the mouthwash?

Where's the rest of the robot?

Whew. It really sneaks up on you, huh? All right, I gotta go.

Which brings me to our next order of business.

Which I don't.

Which I've now just told to Batman. See, I cannot keep a secret.

Which is messy, unsanitary,

Which is still no excuse for going over the posted speed limit.

Which is still so funny.

Which Leonard was too cool to wear.

Which reminds me

Which, backwards, is one, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one.

While we're doing that, you could take an aerial tour of L.A. On your flying pig.

While we're on the subject, why did you guys break up, anyway?

While you're at it, I'm upset that we have an unannounced house guest...

Who are you kidding? She's breathtaking.

Who else would it be?

Who here is familiar with the concept of topological insulators?

Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting?

Who let the satanic dogs out? Who? Who? Who?

Who wants some more coffee?

Who was at the door?

Who would've thought it was you?

Who would've thought it?

Who wouldn't?

Who, by the way, also has a girlfriend.

Who, me?

Who's Amy? His girlfriend.

Who's crazy now?

Who's there? Are you a sex criminal?

Who's there? Are you a sex criminal?

Who's there? Is it a sex criminal?

Who's there? Is it a sex criminal?

Who's to say that I don't share that flawed DNA?

Who's to say you shouldn't be dissecting our brains?

Whoa

Whoa, check it out, those guys are breaking into that car.

Whoa, somebody's auctioning off a jeweled ostrich bridle.

Whoa, uh, hold on a second. I'm not going to sleep with her.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want to speak to the FBI.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where did that come from?

Whoa, you dated Penny?

Whoever has to give She Hulk a bikini wax.

Whom you may recall as the girlfriend of Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.

Whoo hoo!

Whoo!

Whoopi and Rube Goldberg!

Whoops! Can't go any further, there's a sacred cow in my way.

Why am I being punished?

Why am I wearing my Battlestar Galactica flight suit in bed?

Why are you getting upset?

Why are you holding hands? I forbid you to hold hands.

Why are you in bed with me?

Why are you laughing?

Why are you lying to us?

Why are you making this so difficult?

Why are you making this so difficult?

Why are you smiling?

Why are you still hanging out with Leonard even though you broke up?

Why can't you and my sister spend your nights here?

Why can't you get it?

Why did you bring him? He's harshing my buzz.

Why did you bring that?

Why didn't you wear your contacts? Don't you like them?

Why do I bother talking to you people?

Why do you ask?

Why do you even want this here?

Why do you get to be Batman?

Why do you have to make things so complicated?

Why do you read his Twitter feed? It's only gonna upset you.

Why do you regret...? Never mind, stupid question.

Why does everything have to be dirty with you?

Why does it have to be about anything?

Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax?

Why don't we leave that for future generations to decide?

Why don't we open it up to Q&A from the audience?

Why don't we play this smart? Try a little good goblin, bad goblin.

Why don't we see if we can bring this back to topic?

Why don't we try some improvisation?

Why hast thou forsaken me, oh, deity, whose existence I doubt?

Why haven't I heard back yet?

Why is it hooked up to a computer?

Why is she here?

Why is there never a pontoon plane when you need one?

Why not "World's Greatest Engineer"?

Why not?

Why not?

Why not? It seems like you're improvising your entire curriculum.

Why not? Penny did it.

Why not?! Are you ashamed of your mother?!

Why on earth are you telling me all this?

Why on Earth would we have sex?

Why so glum, chum?

Why would I change?

Why would I touch her? She's covered with airplane germs.

Why would I wanna do that?

Why would we wanna do that?

Why would you take me out shopping then break up with me? That is so cruel.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why? He's in my bed, why can't I be in his?

Why? What's the problem?

Why's the president of the university slumming in the cafeteria? Ha, ha.

Will Amy be joining us for dinner?

Will condemn us for not taking

Will do.

Will the two of you excuse me?

Will you please just play along until my dad leaves?

Will you please let it go?

Will you talk to her?

Winnie the Pooh is out of the honey tree.

Wise decision. You see, Amy...

Wise.

With cruel irony.

With fertility experts in a lab with petri dishes.

With real puffing smoke?

With strange men leaving her apartment in the morning,

With sword.

With you?

Without the certificate of authenticity, that bat'leth is worthless.

Without you to make the case for the Physics Department...

Wolverine's never displayed interest in helping others prevent prostate cancer.

Women, huh?

Women, men, the whole sitting standing deal.

Wonder why she didn't tell me.

Woo hoo!

Woot woot.

Word of warning, though. I'm prone to night terrors.

Working on a new plan to catch the roadrunner? Heh, heh.

Working on my three person chess game.

Would have been more flattered if you were a homosexual.

Would not Lee have followed Grant? Would not Spy have followed Spy?

Would you be sleeping over again this evening?

Would you booze hounds please stop that infernal clinking?

Would you characterize him as responsible?

Would you characterize that as responsible?

Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me?

Would you like some homemade chili?

Would you like to join me for Chinese food?

Would you mind if we talked about Mr. Wolowitz now?

Would you mind very much jumping to it?

Would you please tell my sister why.

Would you rather come sing it to me in person?

Wouldn't help. Zack can't even spell NPR.

Wouldn't think there'd be that many.

Wow indeed.

Wow, is there anything on there about orthotics?

Wow, lucky you.

Wow, that is better.

Wow, that's very impressive.

Wow, that's, like, the worst country song ever.

Wow, this place is awesome.

Wow! So that means you're a doctor, you're a doctor...

Wow.

Wow. How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?

Wow. I can't believe old smelly pooper finally got laid.

Wrong. The best number is 73.

X Files.

Yay.

Yeah, a little tip. He says he can eat frozen yogurt. Do not believe it.

Yeah, and don't you forget it.

Yeah, and I'm safe and sound in bed. Who's crazy now?

Yeah, at one point, Raj put on reggae music...

Yeah, bitches are the worst.

Yeah, but not your books. Something they might enjoy.

Yeah, but we weren't, heh... I mean, you and I never...

Yeah, but who'd wanna become Rat Man?

Yeah, but you were just sleeping because I forboded you to have sex.

Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to talk to yourself.

Yeah, every year I get a Christmas card from her signed with too many X's and O's.

Yeah, forget it. Not important.

Yeah, good.

Yeah, great, love you too, but...

Yeah, he walked right into our trap.

Yeah, he's gonna win the Nobel Prize.

Yeah, hi.

Yeah, hi. Listen, I just got a text from Raj.

Yeah, I get it now.

Yeah, I get it. You got a lot of cats...

Yeah, I know who he is. I watch Dancing With the Stars.

Yeah, I know who it is, but why is it me?

Yeah, I never got that turtleneck thing.

Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me.

Yeah, I think I'll pass. But you guys enjoy your extra 21 seconds.

Yeah, I think you have a real knack for gigolo work, Leonard.

Yeah, I was talking to Raj.

Yeah, I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology...

Yeah, I'm here. How are you?

Yeah, I'm saying it'd be easier to lift a car.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm gonna be working late.

Yeah, I've been reading up on biomechanics.

Yeah, if we chat...

Yeah, it is a little like getting into Dracula's coffin.

Yeah, it sounds fun.

Yeah, it was.

Yeah, it's a great time to be alive, isn't it?

Yeah, it's good to see you too.

Yeah, it's good to see you too.

Yeah, it's hysterical.

Yeah, it's okay.

Yeah, it's the love car. Ha, ha.

Yeah, it's true. Amy told me.

Yeah, just a heads up on the car window deal.

Yeah, just because you're in bed with an Indian woman...

Yeah, just tuck that part in your pants, you'll be fine.

Yeah, Leonard, who?

Yeah, let's go with that.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, my point is it's a waste of time.

Yeah, no one can hide from me.

Yeah, now move it down to your e mail icon.

Yeah, okay. I got it. I got it.

Yeah, Raj, why?

Yeah, right here on his couch.

Yeah, sorry, sorry.

Yeah, sure. Just yesterday, she asked, "Why is Howard hiding under the table?"

Yeah, sure. Why not you?

Yeah, tell me about it.

Yeah, that was my plan. All right. Come on. Let's go.

Yeah, that's a real pickle. Bye.

Yeah, that's great. It's a funny story, moving on.

Yeah, that's not what I had in mind.

Yeah, that's probably it. What do you think?

Yeah, that's the spot.

Yeah, that's what I'm counting on. Spill.

Yeah, that's why I'm gonna skip over it.

Yeah, the little envelope.

Yeah, they do that when you set it on "easy."

Yeah, to be honest, I don't see much difference.

Yeah, uh, I went for a drink.

Yeah, um, so hey...

Yeah, we all are.

Yeah, we get that a lot.

Yeah, we're kind of badasses, aren't we?

Yeah, well, it's not gonna happen tonight.

Yeah, well, sadly, I do.

Yeah, well, she and her lab team are under quarantine.

Yeah, well, then see a shrink and figure out how to talk to women.

Yeah, yeah, great.

Yeah, you do. You dog, you.

Yeah, you're a scientist.

Yeah, you're right. Doy. So, Howard, trolls, yay or nay?

Yeah?

Yeah? Well, not necessary, we broke up again.

Yeah? What if only way to save it was to shower in the locker room...

Yeah? Where does he poop?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Building on your premise...

Yeah. Good or devastating.

Yeah. Ha ha ha.

Yeah. Ha, ha.

Yeah. Ha, ha.

Yeah. He's kind of an ass.

Yeah. I know, eh?

Yeah. I work 70 hours a week and average $1.65 an hour.

Yeah. If I had contacts, I would have been the coolest debate club president...

Yeah. Is there anybody who can get me out of here...

Yeah. Israeli Krav Maga. Lots of fun.

Yeah. It's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.

Yeah. Last week we smoked cigars and pretended to be dragons.

Yeah. No, no. I got that.

Yeah. She seems happier. Why wouldn't we be?

Yeah. So listen, fellas, who's up for a little party this Saturday night?

Yeah. The doctor didn't want me to rub my eye during the night.

Yeah. We're coming for you, Todd Zarnecki.

Yeah. We're thinking of having it on a cliff overlooking the ocean.

Yeah. Well, my question is

Yellow. Go ahead.

Yep.

Yes, and continue to bond.

Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces.

Yes, and you're listed as chief executive officer...

Yes, Bernie sure is.

Yes, but he's going to a better place where he won't get beat up so much.

Yes, but she's stopped calling you Slumdog Millionaire.

Yes, but that's not the point!

Yes, but they're not girls. I'm a girl.

Yes, dirty.

Yes, exactly.

Yes, Gena Rowlands is a treasure.

Yes, he does live with his parents.

Yes, I believe so.

Yes, I have a friend named Amy Farrah Fowler.

Yes, I live with him.

Yes, I relish the thought of a stranger covering my body with oil and rubbing it.

Yes, I was in a taxi...

Yes, I will marry you.

Yes, I'd like to offer a laudatory statement...

Yes, in part.

Yes, Leonard told me. Sorry, honey.

Yes, of course I remember you.

Yes, Penny.

Yes, perhaps somewhere packed tightly...

Yes, please.

Yes, she is female.

Yes, Sheldon. Keep watching.

Yes, Smelly Shelly does bother me. Let me tell you why I'm calling.

Yes, that does sound like a girl's name.

Yes, that is a girl's name.

Yes, that's our Lenny.

Yes, the elevator's out of order. You'll have to use the stairs.

Yes, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Yes, we communicate on a daily basis,

Yes, well, if we lived in a world where slow moving xenon produced light...

Yes, what?

Yes?

Yes?

Yes?

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. And make her wear the black wig. Good luck.

Yes. And when Franconi's went out of business...

Yes. Are you writing a book?

Yes. He looks much cooler than the non smoking monkeys.

Yes. I'm using their Cray supercomputer to analyze shuffling patterns.

Yes. In preparation for today's studies, I read Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares...

Yes. Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards...

Yes. Just stopped by to let you know I'm getting orthotics.

Yes. Look up at the sign and remember, improv is always about saying yes.

Yes. Now, help me!

Yes. Of course, we're in different departments.

Yes. There, I said it.

Yes. This is Enrico Fermi, Richard Feynman...

Yo, I'll solve it

Yogurt?

You and your colleagues do remarkable research and you deserve the money.

You are a mean little man.

You are asking me for help because I know something...

You are beautiful, you know that?

You are kidding. Raj likes Bernadette?

You are my heart

You are my heart

You are my heart

You are my heart

You are my heart

You are, with hair that smells like strawberries.

You been spending time with your ex girlfriend?

You bet.

You better open up that bottle of wine or I'm gonna end up with swimmer's ear.

You bought me a Rolex?

You bumped the table and you know it.

You buy all these superhero T shirts but when it's time for you to step up...

You called the police...

You can if you try. Think about it this way:

You can make one with me.

You can move in here, or we can find a place.

You can only ask one question.

You can tell us anything.

You can think about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle...

You can't come in.

You can't deny that by comparison...

You can't replace me with Zack.

You can't say that anymore.

You can't take that personally.

You can't tell by that. Winona Ryder is *******.

You cannot exist as a virtual presence.

You changed the address on the building? What about mail?

You could still go out and look for number 32.

You could zip through a maze in nothing flat...

You couldn't have spent last night with Priya...

You crimson coward!

You dance with me.

You didn't break up, she dumped you.

You do not wanna take that for granted.

You do realize everyone's eating at Raj's again tonight.

You do realize I stand on the other side of the door

You do understand it will distract you...

You do what you want,

You do?

You don't even have to put out to get free stuff.

You don't even like people touching you.

You don't feel any need to hang out with her, you know, be in the same room?

You don't get it, Leonard. I'm going to miss so much.

You don't have to be strong for me.

You don't have to sell me on cats, Leonard. I'm already a fan.

You don't have to take me. You get to take me.

You don't have to worry. Unlike Amy and Priya, I know how to keep a secret.

You don't know where I am.

You don't like Mouse Boy? How about, uh, Kid Vermin?

You don't wanna wash that.

You enjoy.

You ever notice when he thinks real hard, it smells like bacon?

You fell on some of that as well.

You get bit by radioactive animal in a lab...

You get to pull the plug on him too.

You got any special plans with your sister?

You got any string cheese?

You got anything for next weekend? I need a date for my cousin's wedding.

You got her to have sex with you.

You got Snoopy out. Can I have a snow cone?

You gotta admit, I'm delightful.

You gotta admit, I'm delightful.

You gotta like this.

You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?

You guys wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

You have a girlfriend? How could you have a girlfriend?

You have any ideas, Raj?

You have broad hips and a certain corn fed vigor.

You have no connection to this project whatsoever.

You have taken the most important step on the road to success:

You have to drive me.

You have to help. It's in the roommate agreement.

You have to start over.

You hear about the accident at the bio lab?

You heard the man, Leonard.

You just e mail and text and Twitter.

You just go out there and gambol about like a bunny?

You just use your smartphone, take a picture of the equation, and bam!

You kidding? They still think it's in a secure locker at JPL.

You kind of remind me of her.

You know he tried to stick his tongue down my throat and I broke his nose?

You know how long it's been since I got through airport security...

You know how you're always saying that Amy is a girl...

You know I can't keep a secret.

You know I can't turn on that farkakt computer!

You know I'm doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy.

You know I'm right.

You know Sandy B always brings it.

You know she used to date Howard?

You know what happens when you yawn in public.

You know what I really love about Howard?

You know what I've been doing for the last hour?

You know what would make this perfect?

You know what, I don't wanna play anymore.

You know what, I don't wanna play anymore.

You know what? Go put on your bus pants.

You know what? I don't wanna deal with this right now.

You know what? I'm going back to "I told you so." I told you so.

You know what? You are unbelievable.

You know what's a great app? The one that makes fart noises.

You know who's gotta be the bravest person in the Marvel Universe?

You know, everybody's suffered enough.

You know, for the first time in life...

You know, get our bodies warmed up.

You know, heh, Amy, when we say girl talk...

You know, I could totally rock a hat like that.

You know, I try very hard to make our lunch hours educational and informative.

You know, I want a woman in my life.

You know, I was thinking.

You know, I'm happy Leonard's found someone.

You know, I've always blamed myself for him leaving.

You know, if being on your own is new to you, I'd be happy to share...

You know, if I made more money, I could take time off...

You know, if we weren't friends...

You know, if you had it here, I'd autograph it for you.

You know, in difficult moments like this...

You know, it is going to be difficult, but I'm gonna cancel my plans...

You know, it just occurred to me.

You know, it's meant as a compliment. Ha, ha.

You know, Leonard, that's actually a valid idea. Very good.

You know, like you and my mom did.

You know, maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world...

You know, one of those guys who examines...

You know, tears of joy, smile of sadness.

You know, the joke's on him.

You know, the Neutral Zone between the Federation and the Romulan Empire.

You know, there's something

You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden.

You know, when my grandfather died and Meemaw was alone...

You know, when your private parts started growing?

You know...

You laughed.

You let me believe I was the reason she had a heart attack.

You lied to me?

You like to come in for a nightcap?

You look beautiful, Lieutenant Uhura.

You look great. Good for you, Priya.

You look thirsty. I brought you some iced tea.

You make a cute Green Arrow.

You may actually believe you're in a comedy club.

You may be interested to know I designed the zero gravity waste system for NASA.

You may have gone to Cambridge, but I am an honorary graduate...

You mean dating? Yeah.

You mean Project Lenwoloppali?

You mean you don't.

You mean, sexual intercourse?

You mean, when he was little.

You met her at Pasadena's most popular Irish watering hole, Lucky Baldwin's...

You might as well just wait at the airport for your flight.

You might not like it as much if you knew what "nether ye" meant.

You might not wanna do that.

You might want to think about

You missed chief science officer, chairman of the board and...

You mock the sphincter, but the sphincter is a class of muscle...

You narcissistic nincompoop.

You need to cut the cord with Penny.

You need to make a choice. Me or your mother.

You never see this girl.

You never told me what happened between you and Bernadette.

You okay in there, bestie?

You owe me.

You pathetic fool. If there were a rat catcher, wouldn't it catch Rat Man?

You poor, poor thing.

You pop, sparkle and buzz electric.

You pop, sparkle and buzz electric.

You propose a guessing game, yet you don't give me time to guess.

You put moths in my food?

You realize he's just rubbing our noses...

You realize you can't win.

You realize you can't win.

You realize, Penny, that the technology

You really are a mean little man.

You really are an ass.

You really need to let me take a look at that roommate agreement.

You reject it because you don't feel jealousy...

You said he goes to bed at 9.

You said I could buy a desk.

You said it yourself, we have to create a database...

You said you liked it.

You say you're Special Agent Page, FBI.

You see, the king wondered how much gold was in it...

You see, there's a growing belief among scientists like me...

You seem tense.

You should feel a small node like object rolling back and forth along the bone.

You should hear how she talks about you.

You should lend him your copy of Bombay Badonkadonks.

You should probably know.

You should reflect on that.

You slipped and fell into a robot hand?

You smell like baby powder.

You sold yourself out like a common streetwalker.

You sound a little like a drunken monkey.

You stole it?

You suggesting we live our lives guided by philosophies...

You sure? That doesn't sound right.

You take that back.

You take this one. I spent an hour last night...

You texted me, "Penny's dating an astronaut."

You that desperate?

You then inferred it.

You think it makes you look cultured, but you just come off as bitter.

You think it's better than Tennessee Williams?

You think Penny's right? Were we bullying Zack?

You think this planet you're looking for has an atmosphere that supports life?

You think you could be a little more discreet?

You think you have me stymied, don't you?

You told Amy in the first place.

You told her we were gonna get married and she had a heart attack?

You too busy bearing down?

You understand we deal with the fact that my mother does not approve?

You understand why people don't wanna play with you?

You used my toothbrush?

You walk up to the house, knock on the door and demand your stuff back.

You wanna come in for a nightcap?

You wanna talk brave?

You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?

You want me to convince my ex girlfriend to go to a costume party...

You want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?

You wanted me to have a boyfriend, mother. Well, here he is.

You watch Leonard put up with that guy for years and years.

You went out in the hallway, stumbled into a portal...

You were acting?

You were pretending to work at the Genius Bar to pick up women, weren't you?

You were right.

You were single for two.

You whistled?

You win. Ha, ha.

You won't be when you hear the great news.

You work with Mr. Wolowitz here at the university, correct?

You would listen to me.

You wouldn't know anybody who wants to buy a wet suit? Boys' large.

You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.

You, me, Ma, living under the same roof? Ha, ha.

You, on the other hand, are a community college dropout...

You?

You?

You'd be intimidated by my wealth and fame.

You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me...

You'd think that, but no.

You'll find the standard order in appendix B or downloadable from my FTP server.

You'll hear about his fascinating work.

You'll need to explain the game to me.

You'll never guess what happened.

You're a lucky man. Bernie's a great gal.

You're a neuro... something or other.

You're a putz.

You're a scientist who went to college and you don't have a neck tattoo...

You're a very smart man. How do you think I landed such a rich husband?

You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler.

You're afraid that costume makes you look fat.

You're an expert on trading sexual favors for gain.

You're being a bully.

You're being too literal.

You're being unreasonable. Why can't I have a desk?

You're clearly upset about Amy being gone...

You're ditching me to go look at comic books?

You're far too short to be Darth Vader.

You're giving me a couch cushion?

You're gonna put on a suit, you're gonna come to this party...

You're in luck. This is an easy one.

You're in my spot.

You're in your bedroom.

You're intimidated by Amy's intellect. To that, I say buck up.

You're kidding? That was good for you?

You're kidding.

You're kidding.

You're kidding.

You're kidding. 3 D?

You're Leonard, right?

You're like a sexy toddler.

You're living here provisionally.

You're monitoring the telescope for 12 hours, and by my estimate...

You're my 15th favorite technological visionary.

You're not fooling me. Whenever you say we have to talk...

You're not going to believe this.

You're okay to stay for a while.

You're peeing, aren't you?

You're pregnant?!

You're probably wondering what that was about.

You're probably wondering why.

You're really a broken toy, aren't you?

You're right, he's a festival of humdrum chitchat.

You're right.

You're right. From now on, I will tell you the truth.

You're right. It should be a cuddly Asian boy.

You're right. It would never work. Amy finds you tedious.

You're right. Penny jogs.

You're saying I couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a handful of pardons.

You're saying I'm facing Starfleet Academy's...

You're still on that?

You're the "teacher."

You're the first guy he's ever really approved of.

You're thinking old school Archie. It's much more sophisticated now.

You're too ashamed to face her because of whatever it is you did.

You're welcome to tag along.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

You're wrong again. If my superpower were arrogance...

You're wrong. It's only a matter of time before you fall into Rat Man's Rat Trap.

You've asked me to lie on your behalf, and as you know...

You've been in there a lot. You okay?

You've dedicated your life's work to educating the general populace...

You've had my sourdough bread.

You've had your allotted 6 ounces.

You've reached Maggie McGarry.

You've really got to get out more.

You've set my career back at least two years...

Your "check engine" light is on.

Your apology is not accepted.

Your career is far too important.

Your characterization of

Your doctorate is in neurobiology. I fail to see the distinction.

Your flaring nostrils indicate otherwise.

Your former boyfriend has replaced you with a very suitable mate.

Your friend and his mother are there, we're going.

Your friend called 911 to report a robbery.

Your girlfriend and ex girlfriend hanging out together?

Your girlfriend's a little short tempered.

Your hands are blunt tools guided by my knowledge of the nervous system.

Your lab is funded by some Middle Eastern dilettante?

Your lactose intolerant boyfriend will turn into a gas filled Macy's Day balloon.

Your meme hypothesis does intrigue me.

Your mom creeps the hell out of me.

Your mother just taught it to me.

Your mother thinks you might be losing your mind over me.

Your sugar was a little high. I'd follow up with your regular physician.

Your testicles look a tad warm.

Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny tiny body.

Zack, how would you like to be Superman?

Zack, I am Amy Farrah Fowler. We met the other night.

Zack, this is Stuart. He owns the store.

Zack?

Zandor, wizard of the north. Ha! I win.

30.96 sexual partners.

2711 Ocean View Road, Carlsbad, California.

...I think I should get my own place. Why?

...I think I should get my own place. Why?

...I wear them all the time. Okay.

...Sheldon's got a... Ahem.

"Did you get your hair cut?" "No, I got them all cut."

"Who?" Zack.

"World's Greatest Astrophysicist"? Don't thank me, you earned it.

A lot of people are doing that. Oh, see?

A Milk Dud? Yeah.

Agh. Aah!

Ah! Okay.

All right, now a little tongue. Hold on there.

All right, well, great seeing you. Yeah, you too.

All right. All right.

All right. I just want you to relax...

All right. Now push your third finger...

All right. I've considered it. And?

Already? Why don't you stay over? Well, I'd love to...

And his app team. Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

And I'm pretty sure he was joking. Well, I don't know.

And Raj. All right. And Raj.

And the first thing I notice... The water level rose.

And we'll need snacks. Sheldon, you're not in charge.

And what is your name? Angela.

And? And what?

Are Leonard and Priya here? They went to Catalina for the weekend.

Are you ashamed of me? Of course not.

Are you crazy? Perhaps.

Are you doing okay? Yeah, Leonard and I are fine...

Are you done? Lf you say so, boss.

Are you familiar with meme theory? I'm familiar with everything, but go on.

Are you going to help me or not? Probably. Just enjoying the foreplay.

Are you going with him? I have to stay for school.

Are you here for the conference? I'm doing a global warming panel.

Are you ill? No.

Are you just getting home? Yeah.

Are you mad at me? I'm not happy.

Are you really that kind of guy? No.

Are you scared? No. But it's a stupid test.

Are you the roommate? Leonard Hofstadter. What happened?

Are you Todd Zarnecki? Yeah. Who are you?

Babe Da da, da da, da da

Babe, open up. I'm not talking to you.

Bup, bup. You wanna include him in this? Include me in what?

But I can't have one. You're two for two.

But I'm Green Lantern. You can be Aquaman.

But this, with the costumes and you... What about me?

But you could if you wanted to, right? Well, yeah, I guess.

But... No buts. That's how the law works.

Bye. Good night.

C 7. Miss.

Can I at least kick down the door? You're welcome to try...

Can I get you after Friday? Sure.

Can I get you something to drink? Uh, not for me.

Can I see her? Actually, she said...

Can I sleep here tonight? Why?

Can I stay here tonight? Uh...

Can I talk to you out here for a sec? Yeah, sure.

Can I tell you a secret? Yeah.

Can we talk in private? No.

Can we trust him? I should say so.

Can you say it again for me? Brobdingnagian.

Care to dance? Oh, sorry, I'm engaged.

Certainly. Good night. Good night.

Clowder. What?

Come here, Sheldon, sit with me. Thank you.

Come here, you. Oh...

Come on in. Thank you.

Come on, Short Round! Yeah.

Come on, Short Round! Yeah.

Come with me to Raj's and eat there. Well, I can't do that.

Coming. No cats.

Congratulations, honey. Thank you.

Congratulations, Howard. Thanks.

Corporate merger. Can you believe it?

Could move out of my mother's house. Where would you go?

Could you be a little more specific? Ethyl alcohol.

Could you get that? I suppose I could if I were asked.

Cream. With or without a numbing agent?

Darn! She found me. She's been here before.

Did I say Mars Rover? You did.

Did Penny tell you about that? No, Steve Patterson told me.

Did you bring a friend? No.

Did you go over the scene I gave you? Yes. I didn't care for it.

Did you know that, Leonard? No.

Did you sign this? There's a reciprocity clause.

Did you talk? Oh, sure.

Did you...? You slept with my sister? Yeah.

Do you have hypo allergenic detergent? No.

Do you make it with milk or water? Milk.

Do you remember that? Yeah.

Do you waive reading of the charges? Yeah, fine.

Do you wanna tell him we're broken up? No.

Do you want a margarita, Sheldon? What...? A margarita?

Does it have melon? Yeah.

Does that sound like fun? Yeah. Dodgers are baseball, right?

Don't bother, I'll sleep in Leonard's room. No, I can't authorize that.

Dr. Cooper? Yes.

Dr. Koothrappali... I love this country.

Drop axe. Drop axe. Brilliant.

Dude, that's incredible. I know.

Elegant. That's because it's simple.

Every night. Really?

Excellent point. A physics point.

Excellent. I rest my case.

Excuse me? Just don't panic.

Excuse me? Please don't send me back to India.

Excuse me? You're having a guilt ridden dream.

Fine, let's say it together. No, the moment has passed.

Fine. Thank you.

Fine. You've met lots of astronauts...

Fines? Yes.

For instance? The first thing that comes to mind...

For now. What?

For what? I don't know.

For what? No, don't ask.

Forget it. I'll pay you $40.

Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig. Penny, there's no I in "Justice League."

Get another deck, I'll do the trick. You're saying this is a regulation deck?

Girl who's a friend. Thank you.

Give him what he wants or we're done. Really?

Give his stuff back. I don't know what you're talking about.

Give me. No.

Glenn, that's Penny. No!

Go ahead, say something smart. Um...

Go away, Sheldon. It's Leonard.

Go home. Your call, eh?

Go to sleep. Good night.

Going to see Leonard? Yes.

Going to see Leonard? Yes.

Good day, Amy Farrah Fowler. Good day, Sheldon Cooper.

Good night, Amy. Good night, Sheldon.

Good night, Sheldon. We still have to go over safety procedures.

Good night. Good night.

Goodbye, Sheldon. And goodbye to you, sir.

Goodbye, Zack. Bye.

Great, I'll make a beer run. And I'll take a shower.

Greetings. Hey.

Group of cats is a clowder or a glaring. Okay, yeah...

Guava? You're so close.

Guess how I got the idea. Yeah, I got it. I got it.

Guess who? Cover for me.

Ha ha ha! Yeah, ha, ha!

Had sex? Yeah.

Hadn't really thought about it. Look.

Hang on. I could have the fruit platter. You want the fruit platter?

Have you been drinking it? Yes, it's my water.

Have you met Bernadette's parents? You mean Adolf and Eva?

Have you seen him? They wouldn't let me in.

He can buy his own desk. And I can put it in your office?

He got a cat to keep him company. You're kidding.

He had a fight with his mother. Did you offer him a hot beverage?

He had nothing to do... Okay. Keep walking.

He kind of does. Yeah.

He's a doctor too, right? Yes!

He's really cute. How do you know him? Oh, we went out a couple times.

Hear about Howard and Bernadette? I heard. How did you hear about it?

Hear, hear. Cheers.

Heart rate monitor? Don't have one.

Hello, all. Hello.

Hello, Howard. I've missed you. Heh.

Hello. Hey.

Hello. Hi.

Hello. Sorry we're late.

Help me move my desk. No.

Here you go. Thanks.

Here you go. Thanks.

Hey, babe. I'm still mad at you.

Hey, can I ask you something? Sure.

Hey, can I stay here tonight? Shh, shh.

Hey, guys. Hey.

Hey, hi. Hello, Leonard.

Hey, how was dinner? Swell. I need a drink.

Hey, I was just on my way to work. It's not important. It can wait.

Hey, l... Hang on, let's see where he's going.

Hey, Penny, how's it going? Zack. What are you doing here?

Hey, put your tie back in your pants. Thanks.

Hey, Sheldon? Yes?

Hey, Sheldon. Hello.

Hey, wait a minute. Hang on, let's see where he's going.

Hey, what's my share? Uh, twelve bucks.

Hey, what's up? I need a place to crash.

Hey, what's up? The mean Indian lady...

Hey, you guys ready to order? Sure.

Hey, you. Hi.

Hey, you. Hi.

Hey! Another compliment.

Hey. Can I stay here tonight?

Hey. Hello.

Hey. Hello.

Hey. Hey, Leonard...

Hey. Hey, Penny.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. How's it going?

Hey. I'm not going to that party, Leonard.

Hi, Amy. Sheldon's not here. All right.

Hi, guys. Hey.

Hi, Howard. Hi, Sheldon. Hello.

Hi, I'm Penny. I'll be your waitress. Why are you introducing yourself?

Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hi. You don't look like a genius.

Hi. Penny, right? Oh, yes, hi.

Hm. What's that piece of tape? That one doesn't apply to you. You sit.

Hold on, when did Priya get here? I don't know, a couple days ago.

Hold on, you're thinking of going there? Carlsbad is only a couple of hours away.

Hoo. Zack.

How are we doing today? That depends.

How can you walk around with no money? I'm cute, I get by.

How come? Todd Zarnecki was mean.

How do you cope? I drink.

How do you know that? Well, he was Italian.

How hard did she stomp? Very hard.

How have you been? Fine.

How have you been? Okay. You know, busy. School, work.

How long? Ninety four seconds.

How much you got? Nothing.

How should we begin? Well, I thought we'd start...

How? Say you're sorry.

Howard, your shrimp biryani. Thank you, sir.

Howard's gonna be there, wanna join us? But tonight's Thursday.

Hugh who? "You" people need to listen to me.

Huh. Lf only he'd had money.

I am leaving. Don't make this harder than it is.

I appreciate you letting me stay here. Sure, no problem.

I call Kermit. I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.

I can't believe we're living together. Yeah.

I did a stupid thing, heh. Yeah, I guessed that.

I did not wanna be a part of this. I'll get to you in a minute.

I did. Well, what did he say?

I didn't see it. Didn't see it? Heh, what were you doing?

I don't need to listen to this. There's your answer, free food.

I don't think this wrestling has a bell. How do you wanna start?

I don't understand. He drank from Leonard's glass.

I don't wanna do this anymore. Don't you quit on us.

I don't wanna go without Penny. Oh, great.

I feel awful. Me too.

I give up. Mango caterpillar.

I guess you're right. See you later. Wait, Leonard, wait.

I had a good time. Me too.

I hadn't really given it much thought. Well, think about it.

I happen to like your girlfriend. And she likes you.

I have a girlfriend now. Hey. Good for you.

I have business in Los Angeles. Why didn't you call?

I hope this moment never ends. Me too.

I know. How do you know? My sister told me.

I know. I work here. Oh.

I love you, Howard. I love you too.

I love your heart locket, Bernadette. Oh, thanks. Howard gave it to me.

I need to get to know you again. No, you don't. It's me.

I need to sleep here tonight. Why?

I need you to teach me. You want an acting lesson?

I smell perfume. Air freshener.

I think so. You lucky duck.

I think we should capture this moment. Yeah, let's do it.

I totally had one of those. Of course you did.

I was sleeping. In my bed?

I was there. She dumped you. Okay, fine.

I will. Oh, I love you so much.

I'd like to kick your little brown ass. What did I do?

I'd like you to meet my mother. I see. Can I get back to you on that?

I'll give it a shot. Thank you.

I'll go as high as 40. 65.

I'll have a Rosewater Rickey. A what?

I'll set the scene. All right.

I'm a big fan. Of what? Poorly executed beards?

I'm gonna ask her to marry me. Marry you?

I'm gonna go lie down. That's a good idea, get your rest.

I'm gonna take her to miniature golf. Oh.

I'm listening. Uh...

I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid. We're trying to win a contest.

I'm okay. Are you gonna order food?

I'm proud of you. Well, you'll really be proud of this.

I'm really sorry, Sheldon. What kind of world do we live in...

I'm sorry, but... How you holding up?

I'm sorry, Daddy... Let me finish.

I'm sorry. Why can't you sleep? Who knows?

I'm walking on sunshine Whoa

I've got a solution. What?

In a nutshell. Okay, well, how about this?

In his tail. In his tongue.

India. Oh, cool. I've always wanted to go there.

Interesting. And was it not satisfactory? No, it was great.

Is it diet? That's what you ordered.

Is she okay? It wasn't a heart attack.

Is somebody working on that? I was going to.

Is something bothering you? No, it's just...

Is that decision open for discussion? No.

Is that so? Yes, and they're still sticky.

Is that Steve Wozniak? I think it is.

Is that your card? Yes, it is. Very cool.

Is there something wrong with your neck? It's a little stiff.

Isn't it obvious? You're right, my apologies.

Isn't that great? No, it's not great.

Isn't there somewhere else you can be? Not where I can hear you guys.

It doesn't? Mm mm.

It'll just be you and my mother. I guess that's okay.

It's a potty. What do you call it? Toilet.

It's blackmail. Nine.

It's my idea. I'm in charge. Oh, of course, you are.

It's my office.

It's no big deal. Right.

It's not difficult for me, I'm having fun. Leonard.

It's okay, I don't want tea. I'm sorry, it's not optional.

It's pretty late. You're still up? I found an emulator online...

It's very nice to meet you. Oh, yeah. You too.

Junior Mints are pretty apologetic. You're embarrassing yourself.

Just chill out, Sheldon. I'm not Sheldon, I'm the Flash.

Just say thank you. I thought I just did.

Just sit here. Yeah, right on, man, right on.

Kill me. It wouldn't help.

Kind of, sort of, had to? Well, I didn't agree with him.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Knock, knock. Who's there?

L... They were out of scones.

L... I was out. What? On Caprica night?

Last one. I'm taking a stroll and sporting wood.

Leonard, can I ask you a question? Sure.

Leonard, wake up. Huh? What...? Uh, sorry.

Leonard, you asleep? No.

Leonard? Oh, jeez...

Leonard? Ugh.

Leonard? What?

Leonard? Are you sleeping? No.

Leonard. What difference does it make?

Leonard. Yeah?

Leonard. Leonard. Yeah. What?

Leonard's a noisy little dude in the sack. Mm.

Let me ask you something, Bernie. I guess not.

Let's make that our word of the day. Agreed.

Like his haircut material. Oh, right.

Maybe I could go in a little late. No, no, no, you can't.

Maybe later. Okay.

Maybe you guys can run together. That's an excellent idea.

Midge is even breaking up with Moose. No.

More than this? More than we can use.

More wine? Oh, no, no, I've had way too much already.

Morning, Sheldon. Oh, good you're up.

Morning. Morning.

Morning. Morning.

Most of those guys live in Texas. Obviously, this one doesn't.

Mr. Cooper, there's nothing... Dr. Cooper.

My sorrow Oh, these are Betsy Johnson.

Never mind. I got it. Oh, you wanted me to pay.

Never mind. I got it. Oh, you wanted me to pay.

Next on Turner Classic Bridget Jones's Diary.

Nice shot. Thank you.

No kidding. Sweet boy, very smart.

No offense. None taken.

No problem. Come on, I'll hook you up. Awesome.

No, it's fine. Heh, Penny, can we have a little privacy?

No, it's okay, go ahead. What?

No, she doesn't. Not really, no.

No, she wouldn't. Your big problem is me telling her.

No, she's real. Did they sin?

No, thank you. I'm fine. No, it's not optional.

No, trust me. No.

No? No, that's silk.

No. Are you in the lanthanoid series?

No. Dibs.

No. Don't. It's terrible.

No. Fascinating work.

No. Hear me out.

No. I do.

No. No, we're good.

No. No?

No. Not a clue.

No. Oh...

No. Then no.

No. Well, of course it did.

No. Well, then who?

No. What do you think Ricky would do...

No. What do you wanna talk about?

No. What happened?

No. Where is your brother?

No. Yes.

No. No. Yes. Yes.

Nobody has a disease! I hope not!

Nobody knows These are Seychelles.

Nope. Drat.

Not really. Yes, you are.

Not that kind of confused. What's George Takei doing here?

Not you, him. Oh, thanks.

Now get my back, Jack. What do you wanna do?

Now make the move. Mm mm. Too soon.

Now shoo. Fine.

Now three times fast. Brobdingnagian. Brobdingna...

Now, give him his stuff back. Okay.

Number 42. Whoa!

Of course not. So you say, yet here I am.

Of course. Nineteenth century technology.

Oh, come on, why not? Oh...

Oh, congratulations. Oh!

Oh, dear. What?

Oh, gentlemen. Hey.

Oh, God, you're kidding. Ha, ha. Nope.

Oh, good night, honey. Good night.

Oh, great. Bye. Bye.

Oh, great. Bye. Bye.

Oh, heh, I'm sorry. Heh.

Oh, hello. Oh, hi.

Oh, hey. Hi.

Oh, hey. Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, hey. What's up? I wanted to check in on you.

Oh, hi. Hey, you.

Oh, hi. Hi.

Oh, hi. Hi.

Oh, hold on, he could come back. What's the point of everything?

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. What can I do? Stay.

Oh, I'd wait. No rush, no rush.

Oh, it's okay, it's okay. Thank you.

Oh, let me help you up. Thank you.

Oh, my God, are you okay? I think so.

Oh, my God, what happened? I don't know, I just got a text. Hurry.

Oh, my God. What's the big deal?

Oh, no, not Glenn. Yes. Glenn.

Oh, no. What?

Oh, sounds great. Oh, Indians making Tex Mex.

Oh, thanks. Check it out.

Oh, thanks. This was nice.

Oh, the horror. Yeah. Indeed.

Oh, where's Raj? At home, forbidding it.

Oh, wow. Yes!

Oh, yeah. I'm so proud of you!

Oh, you never were? Not even when you were a kid?

Oh, you're welcome. Oh, I'm getting good at this.

Oh! Great.

Oh. Oof!

Oh. That was an experiment...

Oh. You're a very handsome man, Leonard.

Oh. I'd rather not say, heh. Howard, if you want my help...

Oh. Nice to meet you. Hi. Ha, ha.

Oh. Well, good for you. Not really. She's horrible.

Oh. Well, that's a relief. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Then we went out for a year.

Oh. You're going off the grid. Exactly.

Okay, good luck. W... Wait.

Okay, good night. Good night.

Okay, I see what's happening. What?

Okay, Priya. I'll have the Shepherd's Pie.

Okay, see you later. Good news.

Okay, see you later. What...? Wait, wait, wait.

Okay, Sheldon, you win. Turn it off. No, he's bluffing.

Okay, stop, stop. Of Texas

Okay, that's it, you're fired. Really?

Okay, the eagle has landed. What's going on?

Okay, we need to talk. About what?

Okay, we should go. Not yet.

Okay, well, it was good to see you. Yeah, you too.

Okay, what do you want, Sheldon? I understand why you're upset.

Okay. Now you...

Okay. Okay, let's go.

Okay. Be nice. Hello.

Olive. "I love" you too.

One more question... Yes, you must be present to win.

One more time. Brobdingnagian.

One question. Anything.

One question. Yeah?

Ooh! I thought I smelled pizza. That's remarkable.

Ooh. What do you think you're doing? Shooting a target?

Open the door, Rajesh. You heard me.

Our troll walked in. I got him. We got him. We're almost done.

Out in the woods, an owl screeches... Okay, we get it. You set the scene.

Palak paneer, that's Penny. Thanks.

Papaya? No.

Pardon? Turned to boom boom.

Pass the soy sauce. Sure.

Penny? Oh, hey, Amy.

Penny? Uh, I don't know.

Penny? Penny? What's up?

Perfect. I know.

Pick a card. Okay, hmm...

Pick one, look at it. Okay.

Please. It's true.

Prescription or nonprescription? Use your best judgment.

Priya, can I come in? Sure.

Priya's going back to India. Irrelevant.

Probably. What's your point? No point.

Problem? This is the worst cobbler I've eaten.

Processing image, cross referencing. What are you doing?

Raj finally went to bed. Yeah...

Raj, I have amazing news. What?

Raj? Hang on.

Rajesh, don't be a child. I'm not being a child.

Real cocoa? That's what it says on the packet.

Really, that's your question? What's the difference?

Really? I don't see why that's surprising.

Really? Mm hm.

Really? Of course.

Really? Oh, yes.

Really? Really.

Really? Yep.

Really? Yes.

Really? Triumphant? Oh, yes.

Really? Who? My brother.

Really. Not for sex, for convenience.

Regarding what? Amy.

Religion? Star Trek.

Remind me, what's your birthday? October 6th.

Right, Leonard? I do, I have to work.

Rum cake? No, thanks.

Satisfied? Hardly.

Screw it. I'm in. Me too.

Seconded. There being no objections?

Seriously, I have a great idea for one. Is it better than your idea...

Seven and three.

Shamy? A juvenile amalgamation of our names.

She saw that, huh? Oh, no, not at first.

She'll appreciate the witticism. Thank you.

She's just set in her ways. How can we be together...

She's not going to steal our idea. What idea?

Sheldon still moping? Yeah, it's weird.

Sheldon, do you want some or not? Yes, please.

Sheldon, I'm not waiting on you. Obviously.

Sheldon, stop it. When in the course of human events...

Sheldon, we're working here. That's all right.

Sheldon, you have a guest who's upset. Right. I'll make tea.

Sheldon? Hello.

Sheldon. All right, all right.

Sheldon. All right.

Sheldon. Hold on.

Sheldon. Really?

Sheldon. You said to do whatever feels natural.

Short Round? Indy's sidekick from Temple of Doom.

Six seven. Oh.

Six. Five. Four. Stop counting.

Sleep okay? Mm hm, great.

Sleep okay? Mm hm, great.

Sleep. Right.

Small world. You did talk to her, didn't you?

So are you seeing anybody? No.

So how is she? They're running tests, I don't know.

So how'd it go? It was going well.

So how's Amy? Amy's changed.

So I'll say cinnamon. Incorrect.

So I'm here now to say I'm sorry. Are you kidding me?

So it's probably genetic. Well, maybe.

So we'd be perpetrating a ruse? Precisely.

So you and Zack again, huh? Yeah, yeah, me and Zack again.

So you feeling better? Not really.

So you've been seeing other girls? Well, uh, not real girls.

So, um, Priya, you're a lawyer, right? I know, pretty boring, huh?

So, what's for dinner? Um...

So, what's going on with you two? Oh, the status is as it always was.

So, what's up? It's a Bernadette thing.

Sorry. I had to clock out. Oh, no, that's okay. Ahem.

Sounds good. I'm in. Ha, ha.

Sounds great. Excellent choice.

Spoiler alert, spoiler alert. What?

Still won't shag the old lady, huh? No. But thank you for asking.

Sure, anything. Move out.

Sure. Also, tonight's the Sabbath...

Telematics connected to an iPod? Uh, nope.

Tell her I'm not here. Where are you?

Tell me what? Actually, we should share the moment.

Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. No, wait, I have a speech.

Thank you. For the record, I truly support the FBI...

Thank you. It's passion fruit. New on the menu.

Thank you. Let's go hang everything up.

Thank you. Mm.

Thank you. Stand by for my upcoming tat.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. That went very well. Agreed.

Thank you. They're my mother's. Oh.

Thank you. You're a good friend. Please don't drag this out.

Thanks again for doing this, Bernadette. Oh, I take pacts very seriously.

Thanks for the steak, Wyatt. My pleasure.

Thanks, yeah. Sure.

Thanks. That's what tertiary friends are for.

That must be pretty exciting. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's real great.

That one. That one.

That sounds lovely. Um, it is if you like bridge.

That's actually my napkin. Oh, this is a nightmare.

That's funny. Yeah.

That's incredible. Yeah, she's kind of a Wheel savant.

That's it! Yes! Eureka!

That's it. What?

That's madness. I know.

That's not really necessary. No. I'll finish making the tea...

That's pretty cool. Oh, yes.

That's ridiculous. Why?

That's right. You know what I'm going to do?

That's uncanny. I know. It's her superpower.

That's very hurtful. See?

That's very offensive. Yeah, we all thought so.

That's your card, right? Seven of clubs. That is amazing.

That's your cue. I'm sorry, I just love that line.

The Archies are over here. Yippee.

The thought of losing a toe... Spiders. You're afraid of spiders.

The trouble I've seen These are Roxy.

Then ignite the rum..." Here you go, one Rosewater Rickey.

Then stop talking. Yes, ma'am.

Then what are you? I don't know.

Then what do you want? I don't know.

Then why did you ask? Ask what?

There you are. Oh, hey.

There's no reason to worry. That's a relief.

These are knockoff Manolo Blahniks. Bored.

These are Michael Kors. Nobody knows

This is a terrible betrayal. Would it help...

This is about listening and responding. Gotcha.

This is delightful. Uh huh.

This is my friend, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Hi.

This is my moment, dagnabbit. Three. Two. One.

This is so great. Ha, ha.

This trip to India sounds fun. Yeah, I think it will be.

To be honest... Hey, how are we doing over here?

To friendship. Ha, ha. To friendship.

Trust me, it's a big deal. They're gonna find out eventually...

Tuned bayonets. Defend.

Two of hearts. I hate you.

Two. Okay, I'll sign it.

Uganda. Defend.

Uh, Joy, it was nice to meet you, but, uh... Yeah, you too.

Uh, no. You should get one.

Uh, you all remember Amy Farrah Fowler. Sure, hi.

Um, l... Are you saying...

Um, sure. All right.

Um, tell us about your work, Amy. I doubt you'd understand.

Um... Remember, you have to answer honestly.

Unh. Get over it.

Very pretty. Thank you.

Wait, cybernetics is robot stuff, right? Correct.

Wait, what the hell is "ding"? It's a bell.

Wait. I have a request. Yes?

Wanna get that? Not particularly.

Want me to tell you how to do it? No.

Want some? Do you have any frozen yogurt?

Way to go shutting up. I did shut up. Now you shut up.

We appear to have reached an impasse. I agree.

We are? Of course. We're best friends.

We did Taming of the Shrew. Oh, wow, I love Taming of the Shrew.

We give up. This is ridiculous.

We'd come visit you. No, you wouldn't.

We'll meet back here in 15. Check.

We're full up! We really wanna see this.

We're gonna write... The Prairie sky

We're in the middle of a crisis here. Oh, I know. Bernadette told me.

We're just heading out for a drink. Because I do that now.

We're not doing names now. Howard? Like I was saying...

We're not quitting on Leonard. I understand. Your loyalty is admirable.

We've all been invited to speak. Oh, okay.

Well, actually... Don't. He's making our case.

Well, Alfred has secrets too. Like what?

Well, based on the available evidence... Shut up!

Well, good night, son. Good night, Wyatt.

Well, gotta go. Oh.

Well, I don't wanna go to a party. It's not a party.

Well, I just wanna talk to her. I forbid it.

Well, I must say, I am impressed. Thanks.

Well, I sense judgment on your part. No, no.

Well, I suppose it's appropriate. What does that mean?

Well, I suppose it's appropriate. What does that mean?

Well, now I just feel silly holding it. Come on.

Well, that sounds great. It is.

Well, then bed, mister. Five more minutes.

Well, whose fault was that? Complimentary nachos.

Well, you defended me, right? I tried, but...

Wha...? Wha...?

What about Sheldon? Sheldon is not going.

What are you doing here? Leonard called.

What are you doing here? What are you doing here?

What are you doing in there? I'm making hydrogen sulfide...

What are you doing? An experiment.

What are you doing? Keep going, I'm listening.

What are you doing? Oh, good morning, shoemaker.

What are you doing? Oh, just getting comfortable.

What are you doing? You said... Well, the move, heh, remember?

What are you talking about? April 12, 2005.

What are you talking about? One broke up with you.

What do you want now? It's 11:15.

What does "hit a reef" mean? Uh, went splitsville.

What else do we know about him? Quite a bit, actually.

What exactly are we looking for? Redheaded troll by the name of Glumly.

What great news? We're going to a costume party...

What happened? Hang on, hang on.

What happened? Howard's mother had a heart attack...

What happened? The background interviews didn't go well.

What happened? Why, you writing a book?

What if he buys his own desk? What if I buy my own desk?

What if he says no? I don't know if you've been following...

What is she doing here? I called her.

What kind of a kiss? A big kiss, on the mouth.

What kind of emergency? Mathematical.

What makes you chuckle, Leonard? Um, recently? Not much.

What now? He's just expressing his admiration.

What the heck is this? A jar with a big spider in it, of course.

What the hell are bus pants? They are pants one wears...

What the hell are bus pants? They are pants one wears...

What the hell is this? Yeah, boilerplate stuff.

What was his name? Curtis.

What were you doing with Priya? I believe coitus.

What would I even say? "Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid.

What you doing? I'm setting out snacks.

What, are they getting engaged? I don't know.

What? A little snack.

What? Again, read the book we gave you.

What? Don't listen to her.

What? I heard a woman laughing.

What? I mean, did you apologize?

What? I said, what are you doing here?

What? I'm just thinking...

What? In a world ruled by a giant beaver...

What? It's not important.

What? It's okay. You didn't know.

What? Move, move, move.

What? My water, you're drinking it.

What? Never mind. Can I stay here or not?

What? Not far.

What? Oh, yes.

What? Penny.

What? Really?

What? Red is angry...

What? S Y F Y. "Syfee."

What? That's what she said.

What? This diagram.

What? Uh...

What? We came to talk to Zack. Hey, Zack.

What? Yeah, but why should that keep me up?

What? Yeah.

What? You have so few good ideas, Leonard.

What? You're an "actress," correct?

What? Priya's in town? Yeah, some work thing.

What's going on? Howard's gonna sleep here.

What's going on? Oh, nothing's going on. Excuse me.

What's going on? They stole everything, Leonard.

What's going on? Well...

What's he doing here? I'm giving him emphysema.

What's he doing in your apartment? He was moping in the lobby...

What's in the bag? It's for Howard.

What's KBB? Killed by badger.

What's so funny? Nothing.

What's the difference? A heart attack like event...

What's the dress code? Just wear something comfortable.

What's the matter? I'm suddenly feeling flushed.

What's the matter? Something's wrong. Not getting gas.

What's the occasion? Just a fundraiser for the university.

What's this? Few things you may need tonight.

What's wrong with me, Penny? Nothing, nothing.

What's wrong with the bathroom here? Pneumococcus, streptococcus...

What's wrong? Nothing. I was acting.

When did you take my blood? Not important.

When is the time? I've got five brothers and sisters.

When was the last time you saw her? Not since we broke up. Wow.

Where are you going? I'm having dinner with Priya at Raj's.

Where are you now? In the bathroom.

Where are you? I'm in the toilet!

Where did that come from? He never touched my telescope.

Where do you guys wanna go dancing? We were hoping you'd know a place.

Where is he? He's in his bedroom.

Where were you so late? I was out with Bernadette!

Where were you? Didn't you read my email?

Where? You just have to look.

Where'd you get that? From an orangutan in the Primate Lab.

Who can't go out with Leonard? My sister.

Who is it? Amy Farrah Fowler.

Who is it? It's Leonard.

Who is it? It's Leonard.

Who is it? Your doom.

Who? Mulder and Scully.

Who? Zack.

Who's Bernadette? Doesn't sound *******.

Who's there? Hugh.

Whose tongue? Yours, if you talk of tails...

Why are you doing that? It's good to stretch before you run.

Why can't he have a desk? Oh, Lord, will this day never end?

Why can't we tell your parents? Please, don't push this.

Why do you keep saying Zack? Because you keep saying, "Who?"

Why don't you give it a try? All right.

Why don't you just break up with her? Heh, no, I can't.

Why me? You started it. We just piled on.

Why not? Because then I'd be alone. Like you.

Why not? I'm brown and I talk funny.

Why not? Oh, Penny, where do I begin?

Why? Big fight with my mother.

Why? I don't know, it's one of the fun things...

Why? Oh.

Why? Seems like the appropriate thing to do...

Why? Well, you're losing your son.

Wil Wheaton. Yeah.

Wish you could stay a while longer. Hmm, me too.

With what? An arrow.

Without. Really, Leonard?

Would you like to see my cats? I would.

Would you please get that? Well, of course.

Would you say that's 40 milliliters? More or less.

Would you talk to her? Bernadette or the troll?

Wow, that's hard to believe. Yes.

Wrong answer. No, wait, you didn't let me finish.

Yeah, no, I don't think so. Okay, why are you arguing about this?

Yeah, not my point. I know what your point is.

Yeah, okay, so, zombies? I guess it depends on the zombies, Raj.

Yeah? Please tell me he's your gay cousin.

Yeah? So? What does that mean?

Yeah. How'd he know about it?

Yeah. Absolutely. She does?

Yeah. How did you know? Heard it at the mall with my girlfriends...

Yeah. Why, what happened? Howard's a complete and total ass.

Yep, it is. Seventy three!

Yes, well, let's talk about it anyway. I don't want to.

Yes. Did you meet anyone interesting there?

Yes. Isn't that flammable?

Yes. No.

Yes. No. No.

Yes. Oh, then it's not chili.

Yes. Sure.

Yes. Talk to him.

Yes. Was your statement untrue?

Yes. What's the bad news?

Yes. You're right, you're lost. Good luck.

Yes. Yes. No. No.

Yo, P Dawg. Ha, ha. What's up?

You all have put in a lot of hard work. We have.

You all right? Fine. Thank you for asking.

You are? Yes.

You can hear my toilet flush? I don't listen for it...

You can't be here. According to the roommate agreement...

You can't even speak to women. Deaf chick.

You can't think that way. Yep, loser.

You don't like it? I didn't say that. But no, I don't.

You don't say. Yes.

You don't sound very confident. No, no, I'm confident.

You ever gonna tell him? Maybe. When it stops being fun.

You got a better idea? Every idea is better than this idea.

You guys ready to order? Yes.

You happy? Yeah. That'll hold me for a while.

You have a desk. Correct.

You have little those marshmallows? No, sorry.

You heard me say Blu ray, right? I did.

You know what that means? Yeah. Do you?

You mean something I could do. Exactly.

You mean the myofascial point? Obviously.

You mean? Yep, I'm that good.

You need to work in the morning. I know.

You okay? Yeah, yeah.

You own a smoking monkey? Don't be silly.

You really think so? Yeah, you're a hottie.

You should have called sooner. Yeah.

You should have called sooner. Yeah.

You should have kept your mouth shut. Fair enough.

You slept with my sister? Yeah.

You think you should be eating that cake? Why?

You think? Of course.

You think? Yeah.

You wanna go with them? No.

You wanna have a beer? We're on our way...

You want anything? I'm fine.

You want me to keep a secret? Yes.

You want to split that with me? Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't.

You will? You will?

You worried about secondhand smoke? A little.

You? Same.

You? Very well, thank you.

You'd be the sidekick. Rat Man is nobody's sidekick.

You're a real hero, Howard. No, I did what any son would do.

You're asking me out? Yeah.

You're having people over? Yes.

You're here legally. Nobody cares.

You're jogging. This is how the Flash paces.

You're kidding. No, we are very wealthy.

You're moving back to India? Who is that?

You're not doing that right. What?

Your pedometer? Don't have one.

Zazzles. Zazzles?

...80 percent of our difficulties were caused by you.

...a box of Slim Jims and the latest issue of Bombay Badonkadonks.

...a glow in the dark ant farm? They do their best work at night.

...a hot dog stand in a converted railroad dining car.

...a hot dog stand in a different converted railroad dining car.

...a little over $1400.

...a marshmallow shooting rifle...

...a nearsighted Green Lantern, and a teeny tiny Dark Knight.

...a pathetic shadow in a city with no heart.

...a Petri dish of genetically modified super virus went missing.

...a rodent the size of a baby hippo.

...a small scavenging bird...

...a subcontinent where cows walk in the street...

...about a minor league engineer with an unresolved Oedipal complex.

...about Amy's urges.

...about complex scientific ideas.

...about Howard's many excellent qualities I believe will tip the scales...

...about Priya's preferences in male companionship.

...about sarcasm?

...about the Jersey Shore.

...about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?

...against a brawny member of the weasel family.

...against each other in a glorious orgy of the flesh.

...against her calloused feet in our living room...

...against my cinnamon apple scented aromatherapy candles.

...against potential advancements in battery technology.

...all opposed to Leonard and his reign of tyranny:

...all the giant missiles she wants.

...along the ridge of the shoulder blade, making a small rotation as you do so.

...Amy bites, and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.

...Amy Farrah Fowler and Penny.

...an opportunity to consider important issues of the day?

...an outdoor museum featuring 43 railroad engines, cars...

...and a bucket of whatever bite size treats you find tasty.

...and a place to stay in Riyadh for the winter.

...and a purse with panties wadded up in it.

...and a root beer for Priya.

...and a super executive ant farm with glow in the dark sand?

...and achieve immortality.

...and all the sweaty dumb asses with their backwards hats.

...and ammonia gas.

...and back to Los Angeles tonight?

...and bit the dust a week later.

...and changed my cell phone number and e mail address.

...and changed the name of a certain level 80 warlock...

...and charged Archimedes with coming up with the solution.

...and coaxes the woes out of the troubled patron?

...and cross the T's, don't you? Why would you want...

...and destroying it with a laser.

...and did so using a stern facial expression.

...and do the right thing, you just hide in the laundry room.

...and does not violate the rule against homemade cards. I made it at work.

...and download increasingly shameful pornography.

...and eat with the janitor.

...and equally admirable.

...and everyone around here's dumber than a bag of rocks.

...and expecting different results.

...and feed her false information such as:

...and for you text adventure aficionados, "Zork."

...and gave mouth to mouth resuscitation to an elderly nun...

...and give pretty girls submarine rides.

...and going to a comic book store on New Year's Eve.

...and has been ordered by the U.S. Government to keep it a secret.

...and have spirited pillow fights in our frilly nighties.

...and he mentioned what a lovely glow she has these days.

...and his gorgeous, successful girlfriend who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.

...and his sister took off her shoes.

...and holding a candle, I have one.

...and how much I respect and admire your leadership.

...and Howard Wolowitz.

...and I can barely tolerate sitting on the couch with you.

...and I can't think of a better time than when I'm with all my friends.

...and I don't wanna lose my TV privileges.

...and I don't want to be joined to another object...

...and I need you to pick a card.

...and I only want one part of my body to burn at a time.

...and I quote, she'd like to see "the little Catholic girl first."

...and I shared a room with a little Vietnamese girl.

...and I was just trying to remember if I washed my hands.

...and I'm continuing on with my life as before.

...and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.

...and I'm not above minimizing your window.

...and I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on inside that head.

...and I'm not.

...and I've never grilled you about that.

...and if I can figure out a way to do so and sound sincere, I will.

...and if you order the dish in column A, you can't order the dish in column B.

...and it would be much better if no one else found out about us.

...and it's after school hours, he's your guy.

...and its mirror, 21, is the product of multiplying... Hang on to your hats.

...and join me in a rival company?

...and just substitute new values for the coefficients.

...and kind of move around in the space, you know.

...and kiss butts to raise money for our research.

...and Koothrappali is your primary friend...

...and let other guys see you naked?

...and little cubes of charred meat that taste like sweat.

...and localized vascular throbbing.

...and make Shakespeare's metaphorical beast with two backs.

...and make sure I never see it again.

...and managed to make it completely insufferable.

...and maybe once a week, run a vacuum through this place.

...and menstrual cramps.

...and mixing them into Leonard's food?

...and my mind is closed to so many things.

...and my mother and I have a tradition of lighting candles and Wheel of Fortune.

...and my mother doesn't trust Bernadette.

...and neither should you.

...and night after night of uninformative TV documentaries...

...and no matter how much you stroke Amy's hair, she bites.

...and nobody has ever had a solid bowel movement.

...and now you and him are you and him.

...and one particularly persistent PE teacher...

...and order the same exact thing, and it's now 6:08...

...and other rolling stock from the 1880s to the 1930s.

...and planning an internship at a large Indian car company...

...and probably cost Howard his security clearance.

...and pump it into his mom's Camry.

...and puts the audience into an undead state.

...and remarkably mild flavor...

...and return to the realm of pure intellect.

...and risk winding up with terrible seats, assuming we get in at all.

...and saying a little bit about why we're here.

...and second, Indian parents are very protective of their children.

...and see what's going on in that noggin of yours.

...and selling it to the government.

...and she kind of stomped on it?

...and she takes me out to dinner. Is that so?

...and she wanted to make sure I was okay.

...and she was enjoying the sweet taste of Hindu rebellion...

...and she was like Angelina Jolie?

...and shouts, "Who wants to take a ride in my invisible plane?"

...and shown off like a prize hog at the Texas State Fair...

...and so farewell.

...and students of gender studies.

...and take a refresher course in CPR.

...and take a wicked whiz.

...and that didn't even crack my top 10.

...and that's just remembering.

...and the apparent collective decision on the part of all womankind...

...and the little people I hired to be my living chess set.

...and the park for one hour every other Sunday for fresh air.

...and The Phantom Menace would be a timeless classic.

...and their friend Howard.

...and then returned it to me hoping I wouldn't notice.

...and then try to buy uranium...

...and then vomited on and off for 40 minutes...

...and threatened to blow up the Enterprise and kill them...

...and was conclusively revealed as hogwash...

...and we've determined he's now ready to join us.

...and when you pick a Chance card you might die of dysentery.

...and whether or not they learn.

...and you don't get to tell me who I can or can't have a relationship with.

...and you gave them cute ******* names.

...and you get to be Wonder Woman.

...and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story...

...and you moved and she accidentally got lip?

...and you see a guy getting back with his girlfriend...

...and you show them fish.

...and you think you can make it right with "I'm sorry"?

...and you to find out.

...and you wouldn't wake up to vouch for him.

...and you're gonna explain your research to old people...

...and you're still hung up on me. No, I'm not.

...and you're trying to replace her with cats.

...and, uh, a little something I procured from the School of Pharmacology.

...are going to attack the rehab facility where Sandra Bullock is?

...are Hirschsprung's disease, botulism, a 30 foot tapeworm...

...are the antibiotic resistant superbugs...

...are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.

...argues with an emissary...

...arm your photon torpedoes every night.

...around what we can assume was pretty massive weaponry.

...as a gangrenous limb...

...as an aid to social bonding in large groups.

...as I find zombies dancing in synchronicity implausible.

...as it had nothing to do with me.

...as opposed to the withering condemnation you and I know it to be.

...as such, he bears responsibility for all your infractions and must pay all fines.

...as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time.

...as we develop our groundbreaking new app.

...as well as entertain and engage.

...at 71 miles an hour.

...at a resort in Big Sur?

...at best, I have 60 years left.

...at the comic book store on New Year's Eve...

...at the Institute of Interdisciplinary Studies symposium...

...at this pharmaceutical company?

...Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch"...

...back in his favor. Ahem. "Howard Joel Wolowitz.

...back into your account, then be on our way.

...Barnard's Star, Wolf 359...

...based on data I collected watching my parents' marriage implode.

...because another woman has realized he is, to use your words, "A great guy?"

...because I don't.

...because I have sex with him and she can't.

...because I was told you're the best and the brightest...

...because I, too, know absolutely nothing...

...because I've got nothing but disappointment in here.

...because it was, and I quote, "Just as good as the first one."

...because it's just the kind of boyfriend I am.

...because someone hacked your "World of Warcraft" account?

...because the cafeteria ran out of lime Jell O.

...because you were exposed to a deadly disease, absolutely.

...because you were with another woman.

...because, you know, that's kind of my life now.

...before one can be fed here.

...before one can be fed here.

...before you can write an algo thingy.

...being bullied, you can be real jerks. Shame on all of you.

...Bernadette becomes a double agent in the enemy camp.

...BL Ceti, UV Ceti, Ross 154...

...building doodads with Wolowitz.

...built a bunch of model rockets.

...but actually, they loved me a great deal.

...but all I ask is you respect me enough to be honest about them.

...but all they want is, "Course laid in, captain."

...but also stands alongside such other nonsensical queries as:

...but also stands alongside such other nonsensical queries as:

...but as I have told you so with such vehemence and frequency already...

...but he's so zazzy.

...but I do have a two photon microscope...

...but I don't have enough information.

...but I just couldn't press enter. Now down to business.

...but I just have to tell you...

...but I think Raj needs to meet a girl really soon.

...but I think we can both agree it's creepy.

...but I think you'll find my story is more interesting.

...but I volunteered for the premature ejaculation project.

...but I wasn't sure if seeing you was such a good idea.

...but I won't have you talking smack about the other.

...but I'm a little warm, so I'm gonna turn it down.

...but I've finally completed the Penny specific section...

...but in this case I think you've made a foolish mistake.

...but it also goes nicely with non mucosal body parts.

...but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean.

...but it's important to protect his manhood.

...but it's nice to know everything's okay with your plumbing.

...but make your case.

...but my manager says I can't actually give nachos away...

...but on a laptop, the trackpad is the mouse.

...but once in a while, it's nice to hear the hits.

...but over here, you can press this...

...but over time, you'll grow accustomed...

...but people do make money off stuff like this.

...but Priya is highly educated, she's an accomplished professional...

...but rather on the shape of the buttocks of a female bending over?

...but recent events indicate that she may be a slave to her baser urges.

...but say it sarcastically.

...but Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays.

...but that behavior is beyond the pale and cannot be tolerated.

...but that doesn't mean you might not someday build a geegaw...

...but the driver didn't look at all like the photograph on his license.

...but the other day, it took you 15 minutes to get into a FedEx box.

...but the Pasadena Police Department doesn't have jurisdiction in Pandora.

...but there have been some advancements in the field of torture.

...but there's no touching...

...but this is, like, the worst date of my life.

...but this money is earmarked for scones.

...but to set things back on course...

...but when you're listening to Dr. Cooper, it falls out of the sky dead?"

...but who sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan.

...but you are not the only scientist in this apartment.

...but you can forward them to your friends...

...but you know my mother needs me in the morning.

...but you've gotta come take Sheldon back.

...by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?

...by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.

...by discussing your assessment of science's responsibility to society?

...by doling out her late husband's ill gotten gains.

...by feelings bubbling up from his human half...

...by getting to know each other too well.

...by Gottlob Frege in the 1890s.

...by Nishida and Hosaka out of Kyoto University?

...by talking about the user interface. Dear Lord, we're doomed.

...calls his crime fighting cohorts when he's running late.

...calls into question the authenticity of your ristorante?

...can still tear you a new one.

...can we at least give it a secret code designation?

...candid truth telling from your employees.

...carried her to the car and drove like a madman to the emergency room.

...chief financial officer and chief operating officer.

...choreographed to a three four time signature.

...clinking of glasses, and celebratory gunfire.

...ColecoVision's Rescue in Gargamel's Castle"...

...compared to that boy who wanted to get beer pong into the Olympics.

...competed over the same food source...

...completely unrelated to this magic trick.

...connecting your front yard to my back yard.

...consider doing something other than crawling into the adjoining bed.

...could ever rise to the significance of a physicist...

...could he barge in while you were showering?

...courted slowly.

...cruel taunt in the Sudan.

...damaged plastic retention hub number three...

...Darwin observed that when two groups of finches...

...deny access to the shared bathroom in a time of emergency...

...depending on how the busses are running.

...designed to strengthen my cardiovascular system, a.k.a., jogging.

...determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.

...devastated, the Danes never invent their namesake pastry.

...discovered the principle of displacement while taking a bath.

...discuss the issues of the day and, yes, share a laugh or two.

...does anyone have any final comments on Leonard's faulty digestive system?

...does not mean you should be sniffing around.

...does that mean the same thing as when regular people say it?

...doesn't mean I need to hook up with some guy.

...doesn't mean I want to have a serious relationship.

...doesn't mean my underlying point wasn't valid, you bloviating buffoon.

...doesn't mean we can't be friends. I mean, Leonard's a great guy.

...doesn't mean you should jump into his windowless van.

...drinking in my wisdom.

...Edward Teller, Otto Frisch.

...Epsilon Eridani, Lac 9352, Ross 128...

...equipped with high speed Internet and a cloaking device...

...ergo, I do not like you. But I actually didn't demote Pluto.

...even though you creep the ba jesus out of me.

...eventually one of them would evolve a different beak shape...

...ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.

...except everybody's wearing Indian Guy.

...explain why time flies when you're having fun...

...extracted from the urine of cows.

...EZ Aquarii C...

...fails him when it's convenient, there's no money in my budget...

...falls to the closest male member of her family, in this case, Raj.

...festering in every nook and cranny of this hospital.

...fighting to the death over a few cans of tuna fish?

...filled our apartment with her off key country music caterwauling...

...following which you passed out on your floor.

...for additional office furniture.

...for dinner at, that's right, the Hollywood Carney's...

...for fingerprinting and DNA analysis.

...for impersonating a federal officer just to ask questions...

...for my earlier behavior...

...for our little, how should we call it, rebel alliance.

...for the rest of my life. That's how I heard it.

...for why you think you sell shoes and yogurt.

...found in cheap science fiction? Cheap science fiction?

...frightening sensitive young boys everywhere:

...from "Sheldor" to "Smeldor"?

...from a bag of excrement that had been lit on fire on my front porch...

...from an ancient Indian love manual?

...from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way...

...from obsessing over the rich variety of sweet loving...

...from Stephen Hawking on his voicemail.

...from the corner of my mouth.

...from the Hayden Planetarium in New York.

...from the Hayden Planetarium in New York.

...from the ignorant backwoods of East Texas to the 23rd century...

...from the moment l... Howard, stop right here.

...from whose homeland these originate...

...from your desperate need to pair bond with a woman...

...from your use of Leonard's bedroom.

...get 2000 rupees, six, seven...

...get a cryogenic centrifugal pump and molecular sieve?

...get plastered and blow the roof off this place?

...going to India to meet Priya's parents.

...green is jealous and blue is depressed.

...had been entirely focused on elimination.

...has an additional 21 seconds of previously unseen footage.

...has been picked clean like a carcass in the desert sun.

...has found an exciting new lover with flawless caramel colored skin.

...has Mr. Wolowitz ever committed a crime?

...have already signed up for our private beta.

...he could immerse the crown and measure the amount the water rose.

...he could immerse the crown and measure the amount the water rose.

...he crashed the Mars Rover while attempting to impress a woman.

...he got in a fight when he stepped out of line to pee...

...he suppresses them, using the Vulcan mental discipline of Kolinahr.

...he tried to declare our apartment a sovereign nation.

...he was on the verge of giving away rocket secrets to a North Korean spy...

...he was the clarinet enthusiast.

...he would giggle and say, "Oh, boy, my breast friends."

...head of the Secret Santa committee. Okay.

...here for your money. I don't wanna shake anyone's germy hands.

...hero of the Eastern Kingdoms...

...hosting an alien parasite...

...how about the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects...

...hyperthyroidism...

...I am betrayed by my appendix, a vestigial organ.

...I believe your question not only answers itself...

...I can always count on you to step up and ruin everything.

...I do a live web chat called Apartment Talk on Tuesday nights.

...I don't know if I can ditch Priya two nights in a row.

...I dropped that vial of flesh eating bacteria into the monkey lab.

...I figured out your magic trick.

...I forget you're not a real boy.

...I have decided to adopt the Vulcan practice of Kolinahr.

...I have to say that while she is a perfectly unique young woman...

...I have to wash my feet before I get in the shower?

...I need no introduction.

...I need to change my diet.

...I often turn to a force greater than myself.

...I promise to slice your brain like Canadian bacon.

...I received a dissertation of the year award for experimental particle physics.

...I shall remain in a secure location and interact with the world...

...I stand at the ready.

...I stayed right here and did a load of whites.

...I suffered in silence as your female companion...

...I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers.

...I understand your confusion.

...I want you to have this.

...I want you to know I went to the FBI and retracted my statement.

...I was expecting Mulder.

...I was ready to waste the last of my good hemorrhoid cream on you.

...I will propose a new topic of conversation.

...I wrote when I was 10 into a one act play.

...i.e., all Jacuzzis are hot tubs but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis.

...I'll assume the mantle of self assurance.

...I'll gain more acceptance by siding with your friends from time to time.

...I'll show you how to massage them.

...I've always been more of an Empire man.

...I've gotta know what happened. It's embarrassing.

...if an interloper encroached on his territory?

...if I could add a third new chess piece.

...if I get rich, that's the kind of girl I wanna take on a submarine ride.

...if I get rich, that's the kind of girl I wanna take on a submarine ride.

...if I had access to a Lieutenant Uhura uniform...

...if I may quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants."

...if I told you that I offered her my heart and she kind of stomped on it?

...if I was hanging out with my ex boyfriend?

...if my mom could have arranged a carpool.

...if people in the 14th century had worn socks.

...if she's not expecting him to eventually make the move.

...if the thought of us getting married might kill your mother?

...if we shore up our weak link, which is clearly Leonard as Superman.

...if we should actually engage in coitus at least one time in our relationship.

...if you had sex with that guy, I mean, there's nothing I can do here...

...in a 24 hour flower mart with a less than vigilant proprietor.

...in a hydrogen atom.

...in a hydrogen atom.

...in a hydrogen atom. Ha, ha.

...in a hydrogen atom. Ha, ha.

...in a secure, undisclosed location.

...in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction.

...in connecting with students is being a little more spontaneous.

...in deriving a grand unified theory.

...in descending order of likelihood...

...in exchange for giving your department millions of dollars?

...in helping us re create an actual athletic experience.

...in my own apartment.

...in one of them, there's probably a Sheldon...

...in order to become intoxicated.

...in order to identify your periods of maximum mental acuity?

...in order to kill the prion that causes Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy?

...in parsing American comic book idioms like "Bamf" and "Snikt."

...in social gathering places such as bars or taverns.

...in someone else's Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

...in the cleavage of your ample bosom?

...in the destruction of government property worth millions of dollars.

...in the event one of them becomes a robot.

...in the fact that he has a girlfriend and we don't.

...in the form of a Bob's Super Big Boy hamburger.

...in the middle of your thermodynamic fluctuations seminar?

...in the mission which is expressed through their motto.

...in the next 41 seconds...

...in the Star Trek episode, "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"?

...in this manner.

...in which case I'll have to schlep out there with the humidifier.

...in which case she sucks out the poison...

...in your makeup bag is a good night's sleep.

...interpret results through academic prisms...

...into my circulatory system, hunky dory.

...involving the words "pie" or "cheesecake."

...is about 70 or 80 guys, and you want a submarine...

...is ambiguity in a contract benefits the party that did not draft it.

...is an actual pick up line.

...is an event that's like a heart attack.

...is because I don't have a real woman in my life.

...is better than a hundred pound ******* guy who lives with his mom?

...is causing an actual pheromone based stink of desperation.

...is every pathogen that calls your mouth "home sweet home."

...is every time he moves...

...is exceeded only by its crass consumerism and banality.

...is giving me a great deal of satisfaction.

...is isolating the part of your brain where memory is stored...

...is motivated by nothing more than simple jealousy?

...is not specific as to what constitutes an emergency.

...is now the second best thing that's happened today.

...is ruining our night together...

...is suspended in the event of force majeure.

...is that though she claims her field of interest is tiny organisms...

...is the grand finale to an evening long festival of fun and folly.

...is to employ his rare and precious mental faculties...

...is when Howard convinced him...

...it becomes necessary to dissolve the bonds...

...it doesn't just have to be about our lady parts.

...it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to...

...it means you want me to listen.

...it might give the others incentive to try harder.

...it was a pretty nifty little achievement.

...it will create the illusion of time going faster.

...it'd be Sheldon.

...it's a dummy procedure, but eventually, it will drop us...

...it's a good that you decided to end the relationship...

...it's actually extremely plausible.

...it's as if it's actually happening to me.

...it's fine.

...just before he started building the Death Star.

...just before he started building the Death Star.

...Justice League of America...

...keeping in mind that the key to a good lie lies in the details.

...kissed me and then shut the door in my face.

...l'd be okay with that.

...l'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.

...l'd put on a little show for her.

...l'd say about a million dollars a pop.

...l'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.

...l'm not hot enough to go out with a guy like Glenn?

...l'm not in a relationship and I'm totally okay with it.

...l've been the whole world to my mother.

...l've had to keep my distance. I don't get to hear all your jibber jabber.

...Lalande 21185, Sirius A, Sirius B...

...laser equipped surveillance satellite. Excuse me.

...Leonard and I made a pact out of respect to our friendship and to you...

...Leonard could frequent sushi bars, salad bars...

...Leonard's queen's bishop five and a third.

...lies shattered about her.

...like a disgraced televangelist.

...like Clerk Maxwell or Dirac?

...like the seventh grade noogies we all know too well.

...like the thought of falling and drowning.

...like they did to that little boy in Slumdog Millionaire.

...like when you do Fourier analysis or using the Schrodinger equation?

...like you said, which, believe me, was difficult.

...located here, here, and here.

...longing to grab hold of your gluteus maximus...

...Lucky Baldwin's.

...luminous paint will guide you to the nearest exit.

...make it a train day.

...making life in the apartment very uncomfortable for me.

...making my research, ipso facto, prior in the ordo cognoscendi.

...mankind builds many dams to please the beaver overlord.

...moving his lips as he enjoys the latest exploits of Betty and Veronica.

...Mrs. Latham said she was seriously considering donating money...

...much as the capybara feasts on its own waste.

...much like the special order menu that you find in Chinese restaurants...

...my body will remain safely ensconced in my bed.

...my company offered me a position here in Los Angeles.

...my derriere would produce cotton candy...

...my Mom arranged for her to visit a center three times a week...

...my mother will swallow her whole and spit out her bones like an owl.

...my name would be Dr. Arroganto.

...my sister.

...my Wand of Untainted Power and all my gold.

...napping together in the hotel.

...never to admit that we crossed Ebola with the common cold.

...no matter what choices she makes.

...not only can you store your favorite equations...

...not something you kids whipped up in a lab?

...not to leave your science y stuff out on the porch?

...now, it's a dummy procedure. Eventually, it will drop us in...

...number three!

...of a 25 year old Mrs. Latham to get your libido humming.

...of complacent yes men.

...of juvenile tit for tat exchanges. Well titted.

...of manipulation and misdirection...

...of memetic theory, algebraic gossip and epidemiology.

...of Starfleet Academy.

...of the finches in the Galapagos Islands?

...of the new Roommate Agreement.

...of the quantum vacuum has little effect on the expansion of the universe.

...of the United Federation of Planets, Mr. Spock, the role I will bring to life.

...of the virulent organisms trooping through my microvilli...

...of the virulent organisms trooping through my microvilli...

...of this university's doctoral candidates.

...of working alongside you for many years.

...of your subtropical girlfriend.

...off its shoes.

...often engage in harmless experimentation with lesbianism.

...on becoming some sort of freakish self aware robot?

...on black holes. Ha ha ha.

...on how do vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror?

...on the "defecating Clerk Maxwell." So...

...on the impact of scientific research on societal interactions.

...on the part of the reader.

...on the police car we passed a few miles back.

...on the right to enter in emergency situations...

...on the subject of his administration he could have saved himself the trouble.

...on the theory of radiation and quanta.

...on what does Scott Joplin play the "Maple Leaf Rag."

...one iced tea...

...one large order of Chicken McNuggets.

...only to be torn apart and eaten alive.

...only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak?

...only with an absurd amount of hair gel.

...open for discussion? No.

...Optimized Numerator.

...or a reasonable facsimile prepared by someone claiming to be Luigi...

...or a thingamabob that may get you a thank you...

...or accidental ingestion of chrysanthemum blossoms.

...or because you are suppressing jealousy?

...or fling her waste at Priya is hardwired into her DNA.

...or I swear to God, I'll blind you with a hot spoon...

...or is that just nature's way?

...or outstanding warrants, or...

...or post them on Facebook right from the app.

...or unsanitary exchange of saliva.

...or whatever the hell this is, can be tough.

...or you're gonna say...? We're starting.

...or, and I only include it for the sake of covering absolutely all bases...

...our internal plumbing is extremely high maintenance.

...over regular pants when one sits on bus seats...

...oyster bars, the Apple Genius Bar.

...Penny's ex boyfriend, Zack, and TV's LeVar Burton.

...people carried pizzas upstairs.

...played by character actor, Frank Gorshin...

...populating a gigantic cosmos.

...pose for commemorative group photo, and we're off.

...premature menopause...

...Procyon A.

...Procyon A.

...Procyon A.

...Rajesh Koothrappalli, are terrified of.

...rather than holding back and being cautious...

...regarding my problem here at home. You kissed me...

...regarding prolonged physical proximity to Amy Farrah Fowler.

...regardless of what happens between us.

...require me to bring you a hot beverage in time of need.

...requires public hearings and a 60 day comment period.

...right? Yeah. Just not today.

...roaming these mean streets alone.

...rosewater, Angostura bitters and over proofed rum.

...Ross 248...

...run to the gas station for a couple of 40s...

...saying that you're in a secret relationship...

...says if we pay him, he'll help us track down your things.

...set your oven clock to the correct time because it was driving me crazy...

...sexual arousal.

...Shamy could go on for years.

...she certainly has spent her fair share of time...

...she comes from the culture that wrote the book on neat ways to have sex.

...she licked her thumb to remove raspberry jelly...

...she used to flip out on me all the time.

...she used to flip out on me all the time.

...she will be reborn in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases.

...Sheldon's still up.

...should be interpreted as evidence of Howard Wolowitz's culpability...

...should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two...

...simply to have a girlfriend.

...since my ill fated attempt to complete a chin up in March of 1989?

...six and a third.

...Skyping with their ex boyfriend Sanjay.

...so Amy Farrah Fowler can't find me and compel me to meet her mother.

...so I can carry the mud past the dragon.

...so I can do this for my bestie. Please don't touch my breasts.

...so I could escape this miasma of guilt.

...so I didn't have to end it for you.

...so I hightailed it over here to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.

...so I invited him over. I regret it.

...so I went out for coffee, ran into Leonard on the way back.

...so I'm checking my vital signs every hour.

...so I'm gonna do something insane in the hopes that you'll call 911."

...so if I were to move to New Delhi, we could, you know, go out.

...so if we focus, we can get through this orientation in under a half an hour.

...so it stays Mumbai hot in here until you turn off that stupid Indian music!

...so just take that when you're ready.

...so make me cocoa.

...so she doesn't know it's you.

...so she'll be satisfied that I'm in a relationship.

...so she's using you to get to me.

...so they could feed on something else.

...so we could get a cryogenic centrifugal pump.

...so you guys might be hearing from the FBI.

...so you make your own.

...society breaks down into feral bands of tattooed motorcycle riders...

...Solemn Oath of Ethics and Cleanliness.

...some syrup of ipecac to induce vomiting and a mint.

...some tension relieving techniques for ladies I've perfected over the years.

...sometimes the Federation and Romulans...

...speaking of money, how are you feeling about helping the Physics Department...

...specifically to address Penny's annoying personal habits.

...squeeze through small holes and shut down restaurants in a single bound.

...staphylococcus and other assorted coccuses.

...Stella Adler's The Technique of Acting...

...success at a bar is based on classic male attributes...

...take him home, do unspeakable things to him.

...takes precedence over a five year old pinkie swear.

...tending an herb garden without wearing a hat or sunblock?

...than anyone I've ever met.

...than cool clear Rocky Mountain spring water.

...than making smart people feel ill at ease.

...that adds no value to human relationships.

...that ain't fooling no one, and get your shotgun.

...that benefits me greatly.

...that eats extra food from between the teeth of crocodiles.

...that foreigners give presents to Americans on Thanksgiving.

...that friendship requires a certain give and take.

...that I loved them and wanted to have their babies.

...that lets you play classic text based computer games from the 1980s.

...that makes him so happy.

...that makes me so successful in my field.

...that Mr. Wolowitz once snuck onto my "World of Warcraft" account...

...that my body is too fragile to endure the vicissitudes of the world.

...that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe. Can we not discuss it?

...that needed to be severed from the organism and tossed.

...that neither of us would hit on her.

...that neither of you would attempt to woo her.

...that other people have previously sat on.

...that ours may only be one among many universes...

...that phone call that says you're going to die, and then you do.

...that piece is considered poisoned and will die after two more moves.

...that plausibly explains my absence...

...that seek to reproduce using humans as their host.

...that subserve global information processing...

...that the brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't.

...that the characters in the game can have sex with each other?

...that tie three scientists... Enough, Sheldon.

...that used to contain yellow fever.

...that uses overseas call centers.

...that we can apply to our own lives?

...that we've all done some things we're not particularly proud of.

...that will make any kind of impact.

...that will ultimately backfire and cause me physical injury?

...that would allow the female convicts to go free.

...that's not a bad way to go. He's *******.

...that's totally not how it fake happened. Oh.

...that's useful in a make believe place.

...the ability to hold one's liquor and throw darts, separately or together.

...the accused did knowingly and with malice aforethought...

...the agreed upon occupancy of the shower.

...the building blocks of creation and says:

...the duty of controlling her base desires...

...the inability to pass uri...

...the king's feeble minded but well meaning cousin?

...the manager got suspicious and...

...the other explanations in decreasing order of likelihood...

...the phrase "Shelly Cooper's a smelly pooper" spread like wildfire.

...the phrase has lost all meaning.

...the reason we live together is we're best friends.

...the severing of which would cause me any discomfort.

...the task falls to people like Leonard and Raj.

...the Thai food, the tank of gas, the frozen yogurt and your rent...

...the unappetizing spectacle of her grinding a pumice stone...

...the white devil has the nerve to offer you.

...then having no one hit on you.

...then I have to wonder if maybe you're not ready to move on.

...then pose questions to each other. It's fun for ages 8 to 80. Join us.

...then run it through a symbolic evaluation engine.

...then spray them with a mixture of rum and bitters.

...then you'd be correct. Also, pigs would fly...

...theoretical physics is... What's the word I'm looking for? Hmm, cute.

...there are certain sets of equations... Bored.

...there are dark, sordid little corners of the Internet...

...there's a 1 in 5 chance he'll kill himself.

...there's an app for that.

...they could probably just make an actual Hulk.

...this computer will send an e mail to your parents in India...

...this may be your only chance to make a real contribution to science.

...this year's donations might go to the Geology Department.

...those dark matter discoveries must be wrong.

...through chasing, assault and a stylized penile display.

...Thursday is no longer cruciferous vegetable night.

...thus allowing you to communicate more effectively?

...to a vast and troubled galaxy.

...to a vast and troubled galaxy.

...to boy slash friend slash girl slash friend status.

...to break bread covered with cheese and sauce...

...to dealing with me in this configuration.

...to deny you that opportunity?

...to determine at what concentration food starts tasting mothy.

...to determine which one's been touched.

...to ensure an adequate supply of hot water."

...to finally snare Best Group Costume...

...to find out how he was perceived by his subjects.

...to find out where you can buy them. That's your app idea?

...to function in 18th century Vienna.

...to have dinner with her and Leonard? Oh, that's nice.

...to Howard's queen's gorilla two.

...to ingratiate himself to me.

...to introduce an alternate topic of conversation.

...to make science palatable for the masses.

...to move to Los Angeles and become a famous actress?

...to ostracize ill mannered members of the troop.

...to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums.

...to put her pants back on, I was unstoppable.

...to quell the rage in my heart.

...to request the fish do their business elsewhere.

...to see it on the big screen at the Colonial.

...to see the premiere Nemesis?

...to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie.

...to stop and solve differential equations...

...to tear the mask off nature and stare at the face of God.

...to the comic book store, so... Leonard's buying.

...to the number of nodes squared.

...to violate the Neutral Zone for just one night.

...to wit, my back teeth were floating.

...to work at the Thinkatorium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?

...transferred all your stuff, didn't leave a digital fingerprint.

...tried to make me eat lamb.

...trying to find any scrap of happiness he can.

...turning her into the grand empress.

...turns out I have an unusually firm cervix.

...uh, you know, uh, the other thing.

...uh...

...unaware that a vengeful horde is barreling down the San Diego freeway...

...unique something...

...unless he gave in? Affirmative.

...unless their hard drives crash.

...unlikely to ever reach the nourishing teats of Indiana Jones.

...until you upload your intelligence to a self sustaining orbiting satellite...

...upside down, it spells "boobies."

...using your genitalia to actually accomplish something.

...Uta Hagen's Respect for Acting, and Henry Winkler's Eh, I'm an Actor.

...walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard in order to pay them off.

...wants a saucer of milk.

...was sarcasm.

...was that fun for you or kind of racially insensitive?

...was the signal that one's career had reached the end of the road.

...was to find out what type of person she is.

...was to stick your hand in a jar with a spider?

...we always can stop at CVS and pick you out a nice toothbrush.

...we need to decide where everyone's going to sit.

...we switched to Graziano's.

...we'd all be singing "Hooray for Leonardwood."

...we'd still be calling him Edward.

...we'll have ourselves an app to sell. Sounds like we're in business.

...we're all forced to hang out at his apartment.

...we're like Knight Rider.

...wearing a Star Trek ensign's uniform.

...wearing a Wonder Woman costume.

...were made by people having a good time?

...what food is no longer consumed.

...what's the scientific word...?

...when he can't figure out how I got his nose.

...when I asked you to meet my mother.

...when I engaged in friendly stall to stall chitchat.

...when one's best friend finds herself replaced by a smart, beautiful woman...

...when Spock finds himself drawn off the path of logic...

...when there are much more serious security threats to pursue.

...when we maintain a cool, wary distance from each other.

...when you remove the specter of fiery vehicular death.

...where a man would take another man's battle ostrich?

...where his genius is not only appreciated, but celebrated.

...where I can board your giggling train of thought?

...where Maggie spends her nights tending bar...

...where she could socialize with other lonely people.

...where the name Wolowizard is whispered in hushed tones.

...where the scapula meets the acromion process.

...where the world weary barkeep absent mindedly wipes down the bar...

...where you have dishes in column A and other dishes in column B...

...where you took advantage of the technology to build a time machine.

...whereas Leonard produces copious amounts of methane.

...which brought you 5000 years into the future...

...which I've never viewed in its entirety...

...which indoctrinates them with all social graces and dance skills needed...

...which is a very sexy quality to those troubled by animal dander.

...which is approximately two and a half hours away.

...which is causing Gorn infested REM sleep.

...which is required for cognitive reasoning, including scientific inquiry...

...which is something you don't want to attend...

...which means I can't be associated with crime or criminal activity...

...which now that I think about it is not so good.

...which outline our duties and the path we will follow...

...which she steals and sells to the highest bidder.

...which would allow overseas car firms to hedge their investments...

...which would be evidence of a planet orbiting it.

...which, for financial reasons, I'm currently living in.

...while Howard threw up Red Vines and cherry Coke.

...while the man dives into a bottle blond bartender...

...while we were doing the cyber nasty under the Bridge of Souls.

...while you narcissistically ramble on about whatever's troubling you.

...whine about it for the rest of our lives.

...who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows.

...who doesn't believe parallel universes exist.

...who doesn't know what "axiomatic" means.

...who dressed as a commoner and mingled...

...who is a friend and not your girlfriend? Uh huh.

...who learned how to use the toilet?

...who passed out from heat exhaustion.

...who tries to buy my love with action figures.

...who used to have coitus with my neighbor Penny.

...who walks into a women's correctional institution...

...who wins the Second World War?

...who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?

...who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye?

...whose ability to comprehend the American idiom...

...why didn't you seek refuge under his roof?

...why the two of us can't play three person chess.

...will be making us go to any more fundraisers.

...will be myself...

...will be to drive me to and from work, the comic book store, the barber shop...

...will create the impression we're a vast enterprise...

...will give us the best chance to survive in the wild.

...will you please tell Howard my sister's never been attracted to him?

...will you stop pestering me about Leonard and Priya?

...will, ipso facto, explain neurobiology.

...Windows 95 was originally Project Chicago.

...with a cluster of dead pixels in the upper left hand corner.

...with a head full of curls and a heart full of dreams.

...with a humiliating, soul crushing rejection.

...with a little umbrella.

...with a smile on his face and teeth marks on his heinie?

...with a stack of paperwork...

...with another slumber party activity. Like what?

...with her new boyfriend just so we can win a stupid prize?

...with his Internet service provider.

...with mutism and alcohol issues...

...with no semantic content at all?

...with some basic movement exercises.

...with some sort of sham play acting and kissing?

...with someone's toilet routine.

...with the occasional dwarf in a box wiggling his feet.

...with the smoldering sexuality of a crouched Bengal tiger.

...with the whiter than marshmallow fluff Leonard Hofstadter.

...with two violations of the roommate agreement.

...with what is probably the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life?

...with young beautiful bodies, sweating and writhing...

...with your mother. I am. She's bleaching her mustache.

...without being given a colonoscopy?

...without having alcohol in my body.

...without having Sheldon tell us why it's called a toast.

...without having to tolerate your germy breath on my skin.

...without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.

...without presuming any knowledge of mathematics or physics...

...without the Department of Homeland Security tattling to your mother.

...without which human beings couldn't survive.

...wondering if this shoe store will take my Texaco card.

...would enter the Neutral Zone to negotiate a temporary truce.

...would function more efficiently.

...would have to compete with a guy like that.

...would not General Custer have followed the tweets of Sitting Bull?

...would you have found it plausible?

...would you wear it?

...yellow is frightened...

...you and Howard made a pinkie swear...

...you and I and our friends have gathered here in this very spot...

...you and I bought matching side by side mansions.

...you become ready for it and Leonard is unavailable...

...you become ready for it and Leonard is unavailable...

...you can see how I could mistake them for my sashimi.

...you can't go back and undry hump someone's boyfriend.

...you could be my sidekick, Mouse Boy.

...you could have put a little more thought into Windows Vista."

...you could replace German Shepherds at our nation's airports.

...you get to do when you have lots of money.

...you have much of a case, Sheldon. Do so, do so.

...you have to believe whatever wild eyed, cockamamy excuse...

...you kind of wanna turn into a superhero.

...you may be alone because your psychological state...

...you meant an actual girl...

...you might consider just this once...

...you might wanna watch your waistline.

...you need to live with cows for three months and drink their urine.

...you offer a hot beverage such as tea.

...you say you went out with him for like a year.

...you snap a picture and the app goes on the Internet...

...you spend an inordinate amount of time in each other's company.

...you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions...

...you two are definitely not suited for each other.

...you will be dependent on other members of the human race.

...you'd be called Leonard and the Leonards.

...you'd remember a night with me for the rest of your life.

...you'll be referred to as Mr. And Dr. Wolowitz?

...you'll need to allow some extra time to get me down the stairs.

...you're a doctor, you're a doctor.

...you're gonna have to offer him a face saving way out of this.

...you're welcome to whip up a character and join us.

...you've lost touch with the struggles of the common man.

...you've only selected seven hours of reading material.

...your Bollywood break dancing skills.

...your ex boyfriend is receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.

...your ex girlfriend hanging out here all the time.

...your fancy patter, and your tight hoochie pants...

...your mind has lost its keen edge.

...zero, zero, one.

'Cause that's all you needed, right?

'Cause you got me and, baby, I got you

"A troll blocks your passage."

"Al but".

"An iron gate blocks your way."

"Angry Birds" is a game.

"Before and after," four words, 17 letters, two N's, one V!

"Befuddled."

"Best seats in house for Raiders screening.

"But, Penny, you look so good in us."

"Dibs on the red tights, dibs on the red tights"?

"Don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat."

"Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject...

"Figure out the magic trick yet?"

"Gals"? Who are you, Fred Flintstone?

"He drank from Leonard's glass."

"Hello, maker of the universe.

"Howard Wolowitz."

"Howard, come rub my feet.

"Howard, come rub my feet.

"Howard, help me out of the tub.

"I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on himself."

"I don't care for perchloroethylene,

"I'm a toat".

"It's locked." Hmm.

"L O L."

"Leonard, call me if you're interested in coitus.

"Listening to Dr. Cooper has made me wanna start cutting myself again."

"Maggie McGarry? She sounds lovely."

"Maybe if you weren't so distracted by sick children in Africa...

"Munching on complimentary popcorn. Woot woot."

"No, don't send us away. We love you."

"Not knowing's part of the fun." Was that the motto of your community college?

"Oh, Krishna, I've got to get me some of that"?

"Popcorn lodged in trachea. Choking to death."

"robot hand grasping a man's penis."

"Same name," one N, two D's, three O's!

"Scotty, I need more power."

"Sheldon has a girlfriend"?

"The line must be drawn here. This far, no farther."

"The Miller's Tale" by Chaucer is the dirtiest story I know.

"The next person I see talking with food in their mouth will be put to death."

"The truth is out there." Never mind.

"This man is not my father, I'm being held hostage...

"Train day"?

"True dat"?

"Twad".

"What's the 411"?

"When Sheldon showers second, all measures shall be taken...

"Where No Sheldon has Gone Before."

"Who let the dogs out?"

"With what?"

"World of Warcraft" is a massively multiplayer online role playing...

"World of Warcraft" takes place in Azeroth.

"You are in a forest.

"You are in a forest."

"You are in a forest."

"You can't go that way."

"You don't have the sword." Good golly...

"You'll need pitted, brandied cherries, gin...

♪ Bang! ♪

♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ That all started with a big bang ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪