Superstore (2015) - Season 4 Edit

A aroused?

A bald child with a deformed head.

A bell rang out through the city of Dolores.

A bunch of arms and legs.

A Cessna Citation CJ4."

A chicken sandwich yesterday.

A Christian pastor was doing a book reading in the store.

A cloud would taste like.

A couple more hours. It's the length of a movie.

A couple of their employees

A couple of times.

A coworker and I were suspended for...

A crime? Yeah.

A double break day for you, my friend.

A few holes through this wall here.

A few months ago,

A few months and one of the coldest winters on record,

A few more hours, we could nip this thing

A few thoughts: you've got Mark riding with Terrence.

A four page spread of Gwen Stefani pumping gas.

A French foreign exchange student

A frickin' Bel Ridge lover wants us to take their garbage?

A friend of mine got one of the old models

A fully paid vacation day.

A funny bitmoji.

A great sense of direction, right?

A hundred bucks, but other times we would, like,

A introductory seminar.

A Jimmy Kimmel kind of thing

A letter of recommendation

A little bit more intense,

A little bit, yeah.

A little secret, naughty fun time,

A live reading of his book too?

A lot earlier and get home a lot later.

A lot of my anecdotes are location dependent.

A lot of people were really angry.

A lot of them have outdated views on Chinese people.

A lot of work for what is, again,

A man sized rabbit, Sandra.

A man sized rabbit, Sandra.

A movie with Natalie Portman,

A new meeting for five hours from now?

A part of me feels like you guys are

A perfectly good office and, "Oh, look."

A priest who was beaten, stoned,

A program to improve customer satisfaction.

A raisin?

A real quick little thing in the break room here...

A refreshing pick me up.

A refugee? Oh, I had no idea.

A scoop of protein powder, add three ice pops,

A small, fast, quick, little, not big deal shower.

A T shirt that says "Slay all day"?

A total complete idiot with no redeeming qualities.

A toxic workplace is a workplace

A very, very tiny bit of ice cream

A week ago she was eating lunch by herself in the bathroom

A welcome basket with champagne.

A woman can't take advantage of a man.

Ab... absolutely. And thank you for doing this.

About beating some random store locations on a scoreboard.

About Emma's virginity.

About going to medical school, which I was... kind of,

About her little nepotism hire.

About how gross the bathrooms were.

About how I should be ashamed of my job.

About how second season of "Patriot" gets better.

About how you made it through Shakespeare camp

About it too. Like, devastated.

About online retail in the store.

About opening a joint bank account?

About our church, you can reach us

About someone that annoys us.

About starting a business, would it be crazy

About taking direct action, you know?

About the few underdogs that do.

About the green ambassador thing.

About the, um...

About these white Reeboks?

About this in front of Amy.

About this morning. Tell me if it's too mean, okay?

About you working at Cloud 9?

About... about what you said before,

Absolutely not! No, sir! She will not know any of this!

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not. All right, fine.

Absolutely nothing about the U.S. Postal Service.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Acting is hard.

Action Comics "Superman," 1938.

Action?

Actually being the leader of an actual activist group

Actually makes them want to have sex more.

Actually vandalized our store recently.

Actually, Allah is pretty strict on time.

Actually, Amy, uh, I just wanted to say a few words

Actually, baths are really bad for the environment.

Actually, hula is a sacred...

Actually, I think Jonah's shirt is pretty cool.

Actually, it might.

Actually, it's Amy.

Actually, most of my friends live in Manhattan,

Actually, the Civil War was not about slavery.

Actually, the parents are usually in there for it.

Actually, the store closed, like, 15 minutes ago.

Actually, they told me I had to bring pizzas.

Actually, this... this is direct proof of the...

Actually, um...

Actually, yeah.

Actually, you would be good for it.

Afraid not. My hands are tied.

After 30 years, it's just... it's muscle memory.

After a C section, they don't let you pee on your own.

After a couple weeks, it was avoir la petit Mort.

After my baby is done using it.

After the way you humiliated me.

Again, depends. Who are my clients?

Again, I'm just looking for water chestnuts.

Again, I'm sorry about the typo.

Again, that is not a real saying.

Again, we're not actually gonna do this.

Ah, Bob didn't even drink.

Ah, does he pour hot gravy down his pants?

Ah, fair enough.

Ah, go ahead and actually get close together.

Ah, here, do some paperwork.

Ah, I get it.

Ah, I just want to say hey everyone!

Ah, I love it when they pump their own gas.

Ah, I love the creative process.

Ah, I think they would have let it slide

Ah, I'm gonna find you, you stupid bunny.

Ah, Kim, you suck! "American Sniper," baby!

Ah, man, he made it sound fun.

Ah, now try smiling, but only using your eyes and ears.

Ah, okay, well...

Ah, seeing as you're husband less,

Ah, so you're stealing it.

Ah, that is a fantastic drill you're looking at.

Ah, this is good.

Ah, too bad. I do a great Gail.

Ah, well, it's barely a shower.

Ah, who's next?

Ah, yes. I forgot. Sorry.

Ah!

Ah! My babies!

Ah! Sucks.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Is, uh...

Ah. That was so good.

Ah. What a cool idea.

Ah...

Ah... it's just a little sprain but I've got to use

Ah... oh, okay.

Ah... oh, okay.

Ah... yes, but if you ever forget where you are,

Ahh!

Ahhhhhh.

All "rah rah unions are awesome" and now

All Amy is saying is people need to stop

All because of me.

All day long, same song.

All free.

All hail J Bone, the conqueror!

All I know is that one day Charlie Rose was there,

All I'm saying is that unions aren't always right,

All of these boxes somewhere outside?

All of us?

All over an innocent couch?

All right store 1217, let's get ready for stepping!

All right,

All right, and now, everybody, on your feet.

All right, everybody, you did it,

All right, everybody. Let's show pollution

All right, everyone, you're all gonna have

All right, fine.

All right, got a long drive ahead of me.

All right, guys, it's dodgeball rules,

All right, guys, well, this is your last chance,

All right, here we go.

All right, here we go.

All right, hey, listen to me.

All right, I could empty some drawers.

All right, I got a real grab bag!

All right, I stand corrected.

All right, it says "Gold Bond"

All right, just write what I say.

All right, let's go around

All right, let's keep going.

All right, let's see what else you got.

All right, let's see what we can do.

All right, look, Dina, just smile,

All right, look, I'm just messing with you.

All right, next up is Fern Rosato.

All right, okay.

All right, on the next contraction

All right, screw Bel Ridge! Let's go get those dicks!

All right, so everybody's got a UPC sticker.

All right, so, now you guys are going to design

All right, uh, as you guys heard,

All right, we've narrowed it down to two choices:

All right, well, I don't know how productive it is

All right, well, I'll see y'all later.

All right, what about sex offender guy?

All right, what else can I tell you?

All right, when you hit the end of the aisle,

All right, who else wants some hours, huh?

All right, who's next?

All right, why don't we take a break from this metaphor?

All right!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. So, uh...

All right. Whoo.

All right... oh, no, could you keep your hands up

All the fake customer accounts were created on the same day,

All the jelly beans she asked me to.

All the time!

All the warehouse guys followed him.

All the way down to their store, heat it up

All the way up to the front.

All these months. Playing dumb.

All those late night pages

All wars are fought against someone.

All water purchases to one case per person,

All: Oh!

All: Oh!

All: Oh.

Allahu Akbar.

Alley oop.

Allowed her to believe it was her fault,

Allowing our frequent customers

Almost as big a mistake as when this guy

Aloe water, probiotic water,

Aloha, girl. That costume is amazing.

Alright, I can get you in

Alright. See ya soon J Bone.

Also got a copy of "Us Weekly" in case you wanted to see

Also if anyone would like to offer their child as bait,

Also Jay.

Also, did you septuple check this purchase order?

Also, if that's not a functioning smoke alarm,

Also, managers can't give us polygraph tests.

Also, she's a supervisor, so double illegal.

Also, what's with the weirdly intimate stares?

Although I do wonder... devil's advocate...

Although some of it was garbage.

Although the sneaking around has made it even sexier.

Although, I guess it is possible

Although, I really would rather just take it by myself,

Although, if they started trash talking us first...

Although, you know, it's not my fault

Altogether you're looking at about $20,000.

Always seems to fall right around when people are

Always worrying if you're gonna get caught,

Am I allowed to talk about anything?

Am I picturing the right guy?

Am I right or am I right? I'm right!

Am I supposed to just get her money,

Am I... I'm going backwards. Put your other foot down!

Amen. Glenn, again, just feel free to listen.

Amniocen Cheez Its?

Amy and Jonah are carpooling.

Amy can't make us do a damn thing.

Amy doesn't cry often, but when she does, oh, boy.

Amy is now telling me that I can't even talk about unions.

Amy Sosa!

Amy, Amy, Amy.

Amy, are you sure?

Amy, could I say a few words?

Amy, could you focus up, please?

Amy, hey.

Amy, hey. What's a "non con"?

Amy, I got this.

Amy, we're partners. We can't just do your ideas.

Amy, why didn't you tell me you were having a baby shower?

Amy, why don't you be the manager,

Amy, you got to Venmo me half of this, okay?

Amy, you're, uh...

Amy!

Amy! Amy Sosa!

Amy! The Aiming of the Shrew.

Amy... Chien!

Amy's throwing a baby shower, and none of were invited.

An aisle maze is...

An amazing gift.

An arbitrary amount of money, or Mateo dies.

An employee costume competition today.

An identity thief stole my identity

An immigrant or whatever,

An unusually large diaphragm!

And "Chien Mon Koh" try to get in?

And $9,000, plus a yearly bonus,

And a few sample suckers.

And a great place to work.

And a lot of their employees smoke while they work

And a saw?

And adequate airflow. Do you feel any airflow?

And after I fell asleep she stole all my stuff.

And again, if you need any help with ideas, you know,

And all of our associates are getting free ice cream.

And all that's left is the pile of their clothes?

And all the lives that were lost.

And also I reorganized the women's wear section

And also my make up bag?

And also, he wants to talk about

And also, Jerusha and I are splitting a pair of clogs,

And always gets everyone in trouble.

And and most of us have no education,

And answer any questions you may have.

And apologize to him right now!

And assume they'll let it go after that!

And based on my experience with ice,

And beheadings and locusts, right?

And blame it on homeless people.

And Bo knows a guy who owns a bunch of storks.

And boom.

And Brett should be wearing a shirt.

And bring them home, clean them up, make them nice.

And by different you mean...?

And by real world, you're talking about?

And calling me J Bone.

And can I also use it to call my mistress?

And certainly not with Jonah.

And Cheyenne and Jerusha and Diane.

And Cheyenne, you're going to jail,

And Christmas

And corporate isn't always wrong.

And corporate sent us

And corporate would like us to stay until closing so...

And costing everybody their jobs.

And covered everything in hot deer urine.

And crawl spaces.

And customized insoles from The Walking Company.

And cutting back our hours?

And Dina. The whole... the whole funky bunch is here.

And do it all over again,

And don't call while we're on the drive.

And each of us say how we lost our virginity.

And eat it off each other's bodies.

And electric water,

And even if I did, you have no appreciation

And even little baby Jesus.

And every topping you could ever dream of,

And everyone tell us your name

And farting through his basement.

And fly a rocket to space."

And focus on it, okay?

And for a second it feels meaningful,

And for future reference, I'm also not a wool sock person

And for the second part, circumcised.

And for those of you who wanna join the union,

And for women, it's that I got taken advantage of?

And free aroma therapy diffusers.

And get back to work, or I'm going to write you up!

And get down to it.

And get this camisole?

And getting 10,000 steps a day reduces stress,

And getting the word out. I'm not opposed to that,

And go block the guy in pharmacy.

And go outside, wait by the mailbox,

And go. Go, go, go, go.

And got knocked up by some rando.

And grabbing each other's crotches.

And guys, I say this a lot,

And hang on, hang on, hang on,

And have Garrett shovel the snow.

And he begged me because

And he had to go home too, and it was not a fun trip.

And he has alopecia.

And he just shakes his head like, "Can't do it, buddy."

And he sees the good in everyone.

And he turned out fine.

And he's all sweaty and one thing leads to another.

And he's going to be taking over

And he's like, "Yes, they are," so I...

And her court ofdamas y chambelanes

And here are pictures of me at the block party

And here's a few tidbits I collected

And I actually really love

And I also wanna re pitch my gnome idea.

And I brought soup.

And I can wear my Rasta hat

And I can't comment on this 'cause I don't know what it is.

And I can't wear a grass skirt and coconut boobs.

And I cannot wait for all the crap

And I couldn't remember where the Toy aisle was.

And I did really well in the Cloud 9 Academy.

And I didn't know how else to stop you.

And I didn't want to tell them I was working at Cloud 9...

And I do not know how to get it off.

And I don't even care about the gifts anymore.

And I don't have a job anymore

And I don't make a livable wage.

And I don't want to clean my car.

And I don't want to get shot.

And I don't want to talk to that dude.

And I don't. I don't get it.

And I felt bad correcting her.

And I finally thought to myself,

And I get it!

And I guess stay a virgin or don't... or don't.

And I guess there was this other time

And I had to work the whole day alone in the store.

And I hate smiling all day like an idiot.

And I hate to even have to bring this up,

And I have a little monster inside of me.

And I have a lot of great ideas.

And I have always heard of

And I have no idea what Dina's going to do

And I just found out I'm pregnant

And I just want to confirm,

And I just want you to know,

And I just wanted to be like, "I heard you, you dick."

And I know Brad has pulled you aside and told you to stop.

And I know everybody needs to vent about the boss

And I know how valuable your time is.

And I know it seems like I'm spending a lot of time

And I know it's going to be triplets again.

And I know what you're going through, okay?

And I like having sex.

And I looked through your file, and clearly,

And I made it almost the entire way,

And I promised that I wouldn't say anything,

And I rallied the troops, and...

And I really appreciate that.

And I really, really love it.

And I started to get this rash on my chest,

And I still haven't figured it out.

And I think it's pretty messed up

And I think it's sweet how you call your grandma every day.

And I think you'll feel like we're laughing with you.

And I thought it would be the same, but it's not!

And I thought, whoa, that could really mess up dinner.

And I to live with that for the rest of my life.

And I told her that a homeless man had eaten hers,

And I totally won't, unless my thing gets out.

And I want to do it.

And I want you, Jonah, to tell Kelly how you're feeling.

And I was also thinking

And I was like, "I might expire by then."

And I was thinking maybe it's because

And I was thinking that maybe

And I was tutoring him in English.

And I was wondering if maybe you'd be willing to write

And I will be right there. Which hospital?

And I will be thinking about sex, if I want to.

And I wouldn't ride with Elias

And I, uh, feel kind of bad.

And I'll be alone. Which is sad.

And I'll give you 50 bucks.

And I'll just work my way up.

And I'll see you guys by the ice sculpture.

And I'm below Marcus?

And I'm doing interviews all day.

And I'm gonna throw you guys in a Dumpster.

And I'm here to find out who it is

And I'm just a mess.

And I'm just too fat for candy?

And I'm kind of like the... I'm the reluctant leader.

And I'm like, "That is Lady Gaga."

And I'm not even sure that, like, my tracker

And I'm not gonna name any names,

And I'm not the only one.

And I'm pretty sure we both just said

And I'm trying to be a better person.

And I'm trying to be very cool about it,

And I'm trying to eat my breakfast.

And I'm wearing pajamas,

And I'm worried about people making it home safely.

And I've had a "chimi Chang a," and I like them,

And if anybody lost a blue hair thingie,

And if anyone wants any more information

And if managing this store makes you happy,

And if managing this store makes you happy,

And if there aren't any more toasts...

And if we give her more, we're gonna have

And if you don't like the taste of the baby...

And if you need to have some rebound sex,

And interlocked fingers?

And is one person using white coffee filters

And it just builds from there.

And it was like, "Oh, you do have feelings."

And it was never addressed.

And it will be destroyed in about two to three years

And it works out perfect because, you know,

And it'd be a lot better for us.

And it's "Halloween Surfboard."

And it's like, "Am I gonna risk getting gnomed"?

And it's like, why does he get to do one and I don't?

And it's no fault of Dina's

And it's not like I can reuse anything I used with Emma.

And it's not quite full bodied enough

And it's starting to drive me crazy.

And it's starting to make people uncomfortable.

And Jeff. Sutton!

And Jesus put forth his hand and the leper was cured.

And just kind of, like, the energy surrounding things.

And just like that,

And just make sure it doesn't get out of hand.

And just really learn from you.

And Justine's gonna cry.

And keep the house tidy the way Jimmy likes it."

And Kevin knew they were gonna rob Mr. Duncan's toy store,

And Kirkwood could win.

And laughing behind my back.

And leave the store.

And like you said,

And limit my relationship with Amy

And look at that. A healthy baby girl.

And made love to Jerusha that day.

And make room for you.

And Matt Damon was just okay.

And maybe... maybe just a few more after that, you know?

And mineral resources.

And misunderstandings can't be assault.

And most of the time, it spills.

And murdered over there."

And my boss doesn't send you to the unemployment line.

And my Brazilian credit is two.

And my credit cards.

And never put on any weight.

And next stop is the gifts.

And nobody has to get hurt.

And not escalate it to violence.

And now a snowstorm!

And now Gary's gonna die.

And now he won't come out of the tent.

And now here you are ordering ice pops all by yourself.

And now I am very feeling something a lot.

And now I'm doing my rotation in hematology.

And now I'm playing the role of Judas.

And now I'm supposed to go home?

And now I've got to pay for a divorce

And now Jerusha gets one?

And now she's this grown woman.

And now she's this smart, confident,

And now there's literally nothing they can do to get them fired.

And now they're back in Baby again.

And now they're moving in together,

And now we're here, so...

And now we're not even allowed to talk about the Bible.

And now you want me to give you names?

And now, well, she's the AOC of Store 1217.

And on behalf of everyone in America, we welcome you.

And on this day of your quinceañera,

And one of those stores is going to come from your district.

And one skinny per shift.

And paid her to say I was the father of her child

And pancake rollovers and French toast poppers.

And paper towels,

And people touching your belly, saying,

And perhaps she's supposed to save the world,

And please, nobody say their kids, okay?

And pretty soon, you're gonna be at her graduation

And probably could have been cooler.

And proceeded to have sex with her in exchange for $17?

And put your hands together for Marco and Daniela.

And really, this early there's barely

And recently had a child out of wedlock.

And risk everything, because Jonah needs a cause to fight for.

And saw the name Parker.

And say, um, congrats, Emma,

And says, "Good morning, turd people."

And see if they'll credit it to the room.

And see you guys at home.

And shaving cream, came all the way here to vandalize

And she believed you, which is the weirdest part

And she doesn't even work here.

And she hates me.

And she says that she's fine with it,

And she still hasn't asked for it back.

And she was all up on Jonah.

And she was so happy and proud.

And she's okay with Marcus' Rasta cap.

And shove you back up inside of her.

And shows no signs of slowing.

And so everyone at the Radisson saw his tiny little tush.

And so I delegated, and I problem solved,

And so I did some more

And so is Glenn.

And so you're lashing out at me.

And some barrel bolts.

And some candles, and it'll be great.

And sometimes dads burn down their homes

And sometimes he would give people, like,

And sometimes we make lasagna together

And stamp it down the drain with your feet?

And start acting like a leader.

And started giving people orders,

And stick it in the corral.

And stuff you had to do in the store,

And such a massive waste of time

And take a long, hot bath.

And tastes just like... tomato soup.

And tell Amy or anything like that.

And tell them that you are a huge [bleep] cokehead.

And Terrence, you stole $40 billion

And that device was logged into the employee WiFi network.

And that does include coconut water,

And that is an old Band Aid.

And that is how that is done.

And that it isn't anything personal,

And that was weird,

And that you've been working in this store illegally.

And that's pretty much it for this morning.

And that's why your mom gave her the grandfather clock.

And the air smells so good, and these pillows.

And the baby and it just seems like a lot of pressure.

And the baby will eventually work its way out like a splinter, right?

And the balloon arch and the juice luge.

And the bank wants to foreclose on our house.

And the belly button that I can see.

And the Bible.

And the big honey spill is... is taken care of.

And the birds just all flew out.

And the charges are racking up.

And the charges are racking up.

And the DJ and the centerpieces...

And the dough just kind of bursts through?

And the environment.

And the first ten employees who sign these cards

And the floor workers get nothing.

And the lava comes out.

And the less you wear, the less you pay?

And the next day he wasn't.

And the other one's haunted.

And the refs.

And the rest just followed.

And the rest of us get the scraps.

And the speech, the towel incident.

And the tattoo will be a surprise

And the winner of one day off work with pay

And their medicine and...

And then another time,

And then another time,

And then at one pageant,

And then check them again. I don't know why it does that.

And then congratulating themselves.

And then dad makes you walk behind the car

And then everything just escalated.

And then give that tape to the store manager.

And then he had to spend the rest of the year

And then her wedding, then her funeral.

And then I broke a window and flushed her jewelry

And then I die.

And then I found it, and I unloaded my cart

And then I get all in my head about wanting you to like me.

And then I had to sit in the lobby for 20 minutes

And then I realized that Dom always says

And then I remembered, Debbie had that cocaine problem

And then I think I took someone else's cart,

And then I used logistics to figure out

And then I wasn't even sure if there was anything in it

And then I'll write you a check for the other $1,000.

And then in future purchases...

And then it just spirals after that

And then it's all about slowing down their momentum.

And then jump through the window, okay?

And then let her think it's her fault

And then one day you forget to lock the cage,

And then one embarrassing photo comes out,

And then one thing led to another

And then she just offered me the job.

And then sometimes I'm there when she gives birth to a baby.

And then split anything that was leftover.

And then stir in poop?

And then talk about whatever.

And then tattoo his mom's face underneath,

And then that way it's like she's a magician, huh?

And then that's just gonna start a whole thing, so...

And then the game begins. Good luck.

And then there's the kind of people

And then there's the workday, and then after closing,

And then they all go in at the same time.

And then they tell us that they can't afford maternity leave.

And then to my face he was all like,

And then we never have to talk about it ever again.

And then we try to fill that emptiness

And then we'll both get a code that gets us

And then what?

And then when I was at my lowest, you had sex with me,

And then you dumped me so that you could have sex with that pregnant whore.

And then, remember that Brazilian model who emailed me

And then, uh, and then one time

And then...

And then... voila.

And there was the time she saw in the towel

And there's a bit of a problem.

And there's a chance you may not love it.

And there's a loose cart, maybe just grab it

And there's a whole sandwich in the middle,

And there's nothing left.

And there's something moving inside.

And these noises it's a contraction.

And they each only tweeted once.

And they get better benefits

And they get paid ten times as much as us.

And they injected cement into her face.

And they only give you one hotel room per store.

And they said that I could transfer.

And they view us as a threat!

And they will be yours and not mine.

And they...

And they're gone.

And they're gonna be so happy.

And they're like, "Here you go!"

And they're sort of spread out, but not like Admiral Ackbar.

And this is the song we practiced to.

And this one has balloons because, you know, Glenn.

And this small bowling trophy because it's all we had...

And those are real,

And thought, 'Doug would look really great in that.'"

And to hold them responsible. So who was it?

And to kind of find out all of a sudden that

And trying many different fruits,

And turn their bones and hooves into glue?

And us keeping her here is just preventing that.

And vandalized the front of the store.

And was straight up trying to murder her.

And wash your hands.

And watch pay per view.

And we can forget the whole thing.

And we can't say "Merry Christmas" anymore.

And we found out a few fun, interesting facts

And we get some paddles and we take this guy down

And we got it.

And we need to unionize!

And we'll be right down the hall waiting for you when you're done.

And we'll take it again from the top.

And we're all like, "Guess we know how" she stays so slim."

And we're already being replaced by machines

And we're gonna stay strong.

And we're gonna try and make it all the way

And we've got Cloud 9 Frisbees for the kids.

And what happens when the real "Colt McCann"

And what I don't know, I'm sure I'll learn in actual management training.

And what if you probably weren't going

And what is hematology?

And when I talk, I move my hands more than an Italian.

And when it comes down to... I don't know. 1,600?

And when it's time for her wedding,