Santa Claus: The Movie Edit

A bit early for next Christmas, isn't it?

A bowl of stew, heavy on the dill, a cold place to sleep.

A chosen one.

A clock that wakes you up in the morning. How about that? Ha?

A doll.

A handsome man looks good in anything.

A little puce candy.

A magic kingdom at the top of the world.

A plate that whistles when the food's too hot.

A present?

A ride? A ride on that?

A sequel. That's it.

A vendegum? Those are the little men...

A wonderful light appeared in the heavens;

About giving a gift...

Acid.

Actually, yes. Actually.

Advertise. Advertise? How do I do that?

Ah, yes. They love their Uncle claus, huh?

Ah!

Ah! Just the elves I want to see. Hitch up the reindeer.

Ah?

Ahh, it's a wonderful thing, cracking your knuckles.

Ahh!

All he would see would be ice.

All of them. All the countries, all the channels.

All right, all right. I'll tell you what.

All right, boys. Bank to the right.

All right, donner! All right, blitzen!

All right, everybody! Ho ho ho!

All right, stay right here, boys. I'll be right back.

All right!

All right. All right. Here, for you. And you. Thank you!

All right. Dooley, make up a list...

All right. Everybody back. Everybody back, everybody back.

All right. Good. Come on. Come on.

All that good p.R.

All those within the sound of my voice,

American history sitting around half done

An artisan, and a craftsman,

An assistant? Your assistant?

And oh, yes no extradition proceedings.

And yes. And?

And a bed and straw and hay...

And a skilled...

And all this to be done...

And all those on this earth everywhere know...

And be careful. I'll be checking it twice.

And beautiful, beautiful lights pierced the sky,

And best of all, you will agree, is that it's absolutely free.

And could you do that before you go? Yes, but I

And dancer's is on his left eye.

And everything a smart team of reindeer would like!

And everything!

And he's too proud to ask for one.

And let the elf face the music.

And no traveler ever did,

And now, chosen one, come forward.

And now, everyone,

And old spotted nose here is cupid.

And Santa claus and my friends.

And some colors never seen before.

And suddenly, the ice mountains cracked open...

And that he himself would be...

And that he, having no child of his own,

And that's why I'm proud to announce...

And then many lights, all the colors of the rainbow;

And then, out came the vendegums.

And this is where I do my other work.

And this lad with the great big antlers is comet.

And we'll call it...

And you can give her a lift home next year.

And you sleep here? Yes!

And you, little miss, make sure you learn those Latin verbs!

And, I believe, this toy is advertised as being suitable for three year olds.

And, uh, this noisy one with the floppy jowls, he's ViXen.

Anya, please! Oh!

Anya! Anya!

Anya?

Anya. Oh, my God. Anya! Anya!

Anyway...

Are we alone? My niece and her nanny are fast asleep.

Are you going soft on me? No, I'm not going

Are you him?

Are you kidding? I'm your pal for life! Honest!

Are you nervous?

Are you Santa claus?

Are you, uh... from the federal trade commission?

As if you didn't know!

As is the gift of flight.

At least I've got one good friend left.

At least somebody down there likes me.

Aw, gee, thanks! Excellent!

B.Z.

B.Z., these are children we're talking about.

B.Z., this stuff can kill people.

B.Z., we've got to talk.

Be my guest.

Because it comes from the north pole. Uh huh.

Being tied down to a desk suits some elves, you know,

Big rum drinks with pineapple in them,

Bigger? Better? Well, this time it's gonna cost you!"

Both of you will live forever.

Both together to make 'em go higher.

Boy, I hate it when this happens.

Boy, well, didn't work again.

Brazil? Brazil.

But a shade less lavender and a bit more pink.

But but but why me? Because I want to help you.

But but... why are you here?

But green's just not his color.

But how could I deliver all these toys?

But I I was just I just wanted him to see what a good assistant I could be.

But I'm going back to the north pole. Says who?

But it can't be seen by just anyone, you know. Mm?

But just till I shake this.

But on certain nights, when the stars of the sky shined like jewels,

But others of us are more free spirited.

But the next one, we say, "so you want it again?

But this time...

But we won't be needing them anymore.

But we're all friends here.

But, boys...

But, but, b.Z.

By the way, towser, what the hell did you want, anyway?

Bye! Bye!

Can I stay? Just till next Christmas. Please?

Can they do anything you want? Oh, yes.

Can we go higher? Of course, Joe.

Can you do it for little Joe?

Can you do it for me?

Candy canes. Mm hmm.

Cash, man! Small, unmarked bills.

Children ought to like it.

Chocolate chip. They're my favorite.

Christmas Eve. How long?

Christmas ii!

Christmas ii?

Christmas.

Cited this company with 15 separate

Claus, come back. I can't see you.

Claus!

Clear!

Cold enough for you? Oh, it's warm in here. Merry Christmas.

Come along, Anya. We must hurry.

Come back, you stupid animal!

Come back!

Come in.

Come on with me, young man! Let me go!

Come on, blitzen! Come on, donner!

Come on, blitzen! Come on!

Come on, blitzen! Go, guys, go, go!

Come on, blitzen. Pull harder!

Come on, boys! That's patch in there!

Come on, boys. Come on!

Come on, boys. Don't slow up now!

Come on, boys. That's my good boys.

Come on, donner! Come on! You can do it!

Come on, donner! You can do it!

Come on, donner. Don't drag your hooves.

Come on, donner. Let's give it that old college try!

Come on, go, go!

Come on, my good boys. Donner! Now listen!

Come on, now! Come on!

Come on, now. It's easy. There you go.

Come on, patch! Give it all you got, kid!

Come on, Santa claus ain't... real?

Come on!

Come on! Come on!

Come on! Faster!

Come on! That's it, boys!

Come on.

Come on. Don't be afraid. Come on.

Come on. Good boy.

Come on. I'm entirely elf taught.

Come on. Let's go get some orange juice.

Come on. Maybe try and eat something. Hmm?

Come on. You can't get past me, sucker. Come on! Come on!

Come, fellow elves. Take them to their new home.

Comet and cupid, prancer and dancer,

Commies! And our cash flow is flowing the wrong way.

Congratulations!

Cornelia, what are you doing? You're ten minutes late for breakfast.

Cornelia, your step Uncle has just dropped by for a minute.

Cornelia! Come away from that window this instant.

Could be hazardous to your health.

Cutting wood all day for the whole village.

Darling,

Dash it away, donner! Dash it away!

Dear Santa, you've gotta help.

Decorations hung at the windows.

Did corny get something? The, um, little girl.

Did you see their faces when they saw the toys?

Do so! Do not!

Do something! The super dooper looper. It's the only way.

Do you know how to say "yo"?

Do you mind if I take it? I don't care.

Do you realize what this means, man?

Does it fly?

Don't bother with that. I'll just vanish. You'll what?

Don't give me campaign promises, give me results.

Don't I hear something first?

Don't sweat it!

Don't take it seriously. And what was that business about our future plans?

Don't tell anybody.

Don't tell him.

Don't you agree, Santa?

Don't you believe in Santa claus?

Don't you know what that means?

Don't you want to try it?

Easy, boys.

Easy, boys. Easy, now.

Enough here to take care of all next year's Christmas orders. Santa claus can take a year off.

Even those reindeer of his couldn't make it through.

Everyone knows he gives out shoddy, cheap toys.

Excellent.

Excellent. Keep up the good work.

Excuse me? That's not a bad investment.

Faster! Faster!

Find your own doorway. Don't crowd me.

Fine.

Fine. Puce, then. As long as it tastes good. But are you gonna

First of all, you stop making all your regular toys.

Fishing rod. How come?

Fly like you've never flown before! Come on!

Fly, boys! Fly like the wind!

Fly! Come on, boys!

For a long, long time.

For me.

For you. Just for you.

Four dopey points! Big deal!

From this day on,

Get them ready. Feed them.

Give it all you got! Come on, now! Come on!

Give me that extra effort. I'm counting on you.

Go in and wish him a merry Christmas.

Go, go!

Go! Come on! Blast!

God bless you, sir.

Going well, eh?

Good morning, Mr. grizzard. Everything okay?

Good try, puffy.

Good. Oh.

Granny, what's a vendegum?

Greetings. Who the hell miss abruzzi!

Hah! Hah!

Hang on, boys. I think we're gonna make an unscheduled stop.

Happy Christmas, Uncle claus!

Has come to pass...

Have you ever had one of those nights when you just want to drop a bomb?

Haven't you ever heard of the telephone? I couldn't use the phone.

He is not. He's the nicest man in the whole world.

He just needs a little elf control. Mm.

He looks wonderful!

He loves to run, he does, he really does. He'd rather run than eat!

He makes me think what our son might've been like, Anya.

He makes time.

He said I was his only friend left, you dumb punk!

He said that kids didn't like him no more! You don't even know Santa claus.

He told me he keeps that secret ingredient in cold storage...

He was asleep. He didn't hear anything.

He'll be all right, sir, as soon as he gets used to the place.

He'll never have an assistant as good as me.

He's always been the fidgety type. Yeah. Well,

He's just come home! No!

He's nice, isn't he, patch?

He's seen what you are. You're a dumb, stupid idiot,

Heaven helps those who help their elf.

Hello?

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen.

Here is where you freeze to death.

Here we go! Come on, donner. Come on!

Here we go! Ha ha ha!

Here we go! Hang on! Here we go!

Here.

Here's a Christmas treat for you girls and boys.

Hey, how would you like to drive for a while?

Hey, this is neat! Yeah.

Hey, what is this? Give me that! It's mine!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! What's going on?

Hi up! Hi up!

Hi, corny. Nice to meet you, patch.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Come up, quick.

Hi. I'm the one called patch.

Hi. Wha

His first vacation. Won't that be great? Yeah, neat.

His presents suck! What do you care? Nobody ever gave you nothin'!

Hiya, blitzen. Hey, donner, how's it goin', man?

Ho ho ho ho!

Ho ho ho!

Ho ho ho! Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho!

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, ho! Feel the wind in your faces, boys.

Ho, ho, ho! Isn't it wonderful!

Holy crap! My goodness!

How about this one?

How am I doin'? Oh, great.

How can I do so much in just one night?

How can I tell all the people about my something special?

How can you be so dumb?

How did you do that?

How did you get in here? Who are you, anyway? Let me go!

How do you know I escaped? What are you?

How does Brazil sound to you?

How does he find time to make all those things?

How is he? I don't know.

How much? I don't know. One hundred, two hundred.

Huh? Come on, kid.

Hundreds of them, all in their bright colored clothes.

Hurry along, now. You can do it, boy.

I assure you that I will give the same attention...

I better take 'em now, Joe.

I called the police, but I don't think they believed me.

I can do anything with this car I want. Watch.

I can make you a bowl of ice cream.

I can promise delivery in, say, three months.

I can't find it, Anya. I can't find the road.

I can't sleep either.

I certainly do not.

I couldn't take the chance of anyone hearing. Hearing what?

I didn't dare use the phone, b.Z.

I don't know about this. It isn't what the north pole looks like at all.

I don't understand.

I don't want to miss a moment of it.

I don't want to sleep. This mattress is so comfortable,

I had to move one of the batches of candy canes to another part of the factory.

I have ideas that'll turn this place upside down.

I have long admired your traditional methods of manufacture.

I know about that. That's all right.

I know we're two men short today.

I know you can do it! Come on! Faster!

I know you had no idea. I know that.

I left a box next to a radiator in the lab.

I like puce. You would!

I mean, hey, I never needed nothin'.

I mean, I could convert the I could convert the machines...

I mean, they send such nice letters from there. It must be.

I must have dozed off.

I never believed in

I never did an extra large before.

I never was you see, I wanted

I tell you what, Joe. You stay here and have something to eat.

I think we should prepare the first shipments of pine wood as early as April this time.

I was right. You are a lunatic.

I won't live long enough for that.

I'd oh, you must be the missus!

I'll deal with him later.

I'll make sure that they never happen again.

I'll tell him, and he'll beat you! Park this kid on ice!

I'm a great toy maker. We should get together. Why should I do that?

I'm an elf myself, so let's give a yell.

I'm an elf. An elf?

I'm coming.

I'm Cornelia. I'm Joe.

I'm gonna do my job... The way I always do.

I'm intrigued. Excuse me. You're drooling on your tie.

I'm not afraid to rock the sleigh! Sir,

I'm not sure. He says it's the delivery system.

I'm okay, I guess. I was afraid you'd forget about me.

I'm pretty busy tonight. Yeah, sure, if it's all right.

I'm Santa claus! Right. And I'm the tooth fairy.

I'm sorry to say he's a relation of mine.

I'm supposed to show you this.

I'm sure he's gonna send for me to come home.

I'm taking over Christmas. By next December,

I'm talking assembly line! I'm talking wave of the future.

I'm what? There's an empty room in the basement.

I've got a job to do, you know?

I've got enough on my mind without having to deal with an escaped lunatic!

I've got here a complete syste uh

I've seen some reindeer in my time, but you're the best, the best!

Ice and polar bears

If a traveler came to that cold, freezing place,

If these people are so reckless as to have radiators in their houses

If this catches on, we can come out with a liquid version.

If we don't help him, I don't even like to think of what can happen.

If you give extra kisses, you get bigger hugs.

If you love him like he loves you, give it all you got!

If you think that your step Uncle...

In a certain time, in a certain land,

In a free enterprise system

In all the world.

In my line, television works best.

Is a minute all right? What channel?

Is brought to you by b.Z. Toys.

Is exclusive with b.Z. Toys!

Is this the kid who lives here?

Is to bring joy and happiness...

Is why I am a captain of industry and you are an insignificant schlepper.

Isn't it elf explanatory? How's that?

Isn't that as it should be?

Isn't this something? Is it warm enough for all of them?

It better be. How many workers does this... product require?

It certainly should be.

It, uh... wets.

It's a bit uncomfortable in here. Oh!

It's a perfect fit, if I do say so myself.

It's cheap. Uh huh.

It's Christmas Eve, isn't it?

It's comet and cupid. What about them?

It's delicious.

It's easy. Here! Take the reins.

It's enough to exhaust any man.

It's exactly what I've been saying, ma'am.

It's familiar writing.

It's for Joe. He never got a present in his life,

It's got a secret ingredient.

It's great food. Believe me.

It's him! He's here!

It's just a poem.

It's not patch

It's perfectly easy, towser. You just pick up the receiver and dial all the little numbers.

It's simple. Uh huh.

It's something that's very easy to make. Uh huh.

It's the candy canes. They're dangerous. What about 'em?

It's the cookies. The cookies.

It's the pleasantest sound in the world. What's he building in there?

It's them! Both of them! Oh, no!

It's them! Here they come!

It's them. Vendegum. The little people?

It's time to change the rules.

It's time, sir. Oh.

It's you! Thank heavens!

It's, uh, a new doll.

Joe!

Joe! I'm Joe! Nice to meet you, Joe.

Joe! Joe!

Joe's been taken prisoner by a very bad man.

Just

Just as I was telling you.

Just do me one favor before you go.

Just doesn't feel like Christmas anymore.

Just let me use your toy factory. To make what?

Just like the other boys and girls.

Just make it stronger?

Just me. Wha no payroll?

Just so they can see the light of happiness in a friend's eyes.

Just what I thought.

Keep you up half the night with his snorts and whinnies,

Kid, come on, give me that ball! Hey, what you doin'?

Knock 'em dead, kid! Knock 'em dead!

Lead and follow, follow and lead.

Leave him alone! Don't! Can't you see he hates it?

Leave him be! You're hurting him.

Let let me down!

Let go! Leave him alone! Don't!

Let me see them. Towser. Towser!

Let's face it, he just doesn't like me.

Let's go get it! Come on, donner!

Let's go.

Let's travel now.

Let's, um, keep it that way, huh?

Like some kind of a moron! Uh huh.

Like us.

Listen, corny. Thanks for all the good food you gave me.

Listen, kid. You wanna die on me when I'm gone?

Listen, you idiot. Who else knows about this?

Listen. You make toys, right?

Little else.

Little Joe needs me.

Lollipops? No, no!

Look again.

Look around you! No strikes, no smelly workers!

Look at that! Let's go. Not anymore.

Look at that. Isn't that a clever thing?

Look how fast they're going.

Look, b.Z. Knows what he's doing. He knows how to grab the people.

Look, I'm sorry. I didn't see it.

Look. These two are twins. Prancer and dancer.

Looks like a letter. In January?

Maker of toys.

Maybe I'm

Maybe I'm just an old fool.

Maybe it's a aah! No, we're awake!

Maybe it's the massive bulk of it.

Maybe the whole idea is no good anymore.

Maybe this fellow b.Z. Is smarter than I am.

Maybe we could put out some kind of statement.

Me too.

Me too.

Me, nervous? No.

Me? Drive? Sure!

Me? Yeah, you!

Me? Yeah. Well,

Mer ry Christmas!

Mer ry Christmas!

Mer ry Christmas!

Mer ry Christmas! Mer ry Christmas!

Mer ry Christmas! Thank you very much today.

Mer ry Christmas.

Merry Christmas from b.Z. Toys!

Merry Christmas, pretty lady.

Merry Christmas, Uncle.

Merry Christmas. God bless you, ma'am. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you.

Merry Christmas. Yes.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Now.

Mm!

Mm. Until your mission is done.

Mmm, I can't eat another bite.

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm! He's like me, I guess.

Mmm.

Mom!

Money. I don't know much about that.

More children need their toys on the other side of the forest.

More liquids. That's what you need. More vitamin c.

Mountains of ice and snow.

Mr. patch, has the space agency contacted you yet?

My daddy says he's an old fake.

My elf portrait. He does like me after all.

My good old patch.

My goodness. What is all this?

My gosh! What are you doing down here?

My parents gave me a doll, and she says whole sentences on a cassette.

My reindeer, donner and blitzen, can get through anything.

Neat!

Ninety nine. You still have a temperature.

No comment!

No more questions!

No more questions. No more questions.

No payroll! It's practically paradise!

No present for him? Every child should get a present.

No, I'm not a fairy. I'm an elf.

No, no. I'm talking modern methods of production here!

No, the size is fine. Please don't think I'm criticizing,

No, we did that already. That's yesterday's news.

No. I'm from the north pole.

No. Oh, uh, tell me something.

Nobody ever goes down there.

Nobody. What about patch?

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."

Not bad. Yourself?

Not for me. For them, patch.

Not now, puffy. The man wants to see the sights.

Now and forever,

Now I'm going to have to be a school teacher.

Now listen, son, what experience do you have in toy manufacture?

Now, come on down with your hands held high!

Now, come on, my good boys! Come on!

Now, hold on tight, and don't worry.

Now, I have an idea for a new way to heat this entire place, using pipes!

Now, listen.

Now, sir, I'm asking you if this toy here was manufactured by your company,

Now!

Of course. Patch! You are some terrific elf!

Of endless night for you.

Of this miserable old world.

Of who is naughty and nice. Yes, sir!

Oh, boy.

Oh, can't it wait a few days?

Oh, come on, donner.

Oh, hey, there was this weird guy on television. Some patch

Oh, I know! Those little picture box thingies? Can we get on those?

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

Oh, just like a horse and buggy. Pull their reins.

Oh, l let go!

Oh, look at me! I feel just like Mary poppins!

Oh, look, sir. Now he's having a bite.

Oh, more and more are learning to write now, asking for what they want.

Oh, my God. Anya!

Oh, my goodness!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my name's patch. As you can tell,

Oh, my! An elf portrait.

Oh, no. No! Hey, wait a minute! Come on, guys. Go!

Oh, please, Joe. Just till you get better.

Oh, right. Yo!

Oh, sort of.

Oh, that's fantastic! How do you turn your face so red so fast?

Oh, this is neat!

Oh, towser, with you it's always some new melodrama.

Oh, w w with all due respect,

Oh, when's he coming? When's he gonna get here?

Oh, wow!

Oh, wow!

Oh, wow! Yeah, good, huh?

Oh, yeah, you can't get past me.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Are you seeing a lot of each other?

Oh! I almost forgot.

Oh! Oh, my boys!

Oh! Oh.

Oh! Yes. A little confused.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. No, they'll have to write to Santa claus...

Oh. Startin' from the front,

Ohh!

Ohh.

Ohhh!

Ohhh!

Okay, but you'll fix it so I can get on the telly? Yeah. When?

Okay, man, come on. Do your worst, huh?

Okay, towser, give it to me straight.

Okay, we know you're up there.

Okay.

On Christmas Eve.

On the other hand, this would go a long way...

Once there lived and once there was...

One of our own Betty beauties.

Ooh.

Ooh. They say it's a big hit.

Open up! Police!

Or I'll personally see to it that your license to manufacture in the United States is revoked.

Our little friend Joe is in trouble.

Over here!

Over there, there's food and warmth...

Patch doesn't know they explode.

Patch gone? Where will he go? What will he do?

Patch, how can I say this?

Patch, take charge of the reindeer. Yeah. Honka!

Patch, this is corny. Corny, meet patch.

Patch!

Patch! Match! Patch! Match!

Patch! Patch! From the old north pole where the elves make toys,

Patch. It wouldn't take you long, would it?

Perfect! Matches his cheeks...

Pipes, you know? Cylinder thingies?

Pipes.

Pipes. Yeah.

Prancer's is on his right eye,

Psst! Hey, boy!

Psst! Psst! Little boy?

Puce juice.

Puffy, the thing about me is that I don't lack elf assurance.

Reading and writing, writing and reading.

Really, there isn't. Easy, boy, it's all right. Easy, now, easy.

Reckless? Towser,

Red just, just isn't my color, you know?

Red.

Reindeer. No, I mean, what's their names?

Returns are coming back from everywhere.

Returns? We've never had returns.

Right down the toilet. You sure know how to cheer a guy up.

Right. Right.

Sandy beaches, tropical breezes,

Santa claus doesn't lie, Joe.

Santa claus is finished!

Santa claus.

Santa!

Santa!

Santa! Aah!

Santa! It's Santa!

Santa?

Saving all their nickels and dimes...

Say, look. Even I like it.

School? School?

Season's greetings! Season's greetings!

See I'm gonna have a lot to teach him.

See, I told you I was his best friend.

Senoritas in string bikinis,

She asked for a toy piano.

She likes it. She likes it! She does. She does.

Shhh! Hearing what?

Shhh. Tell me on the way.

Shut up!

Single hinge runner connectors.

So how about it? Will you do it?

So I can watch my masterpiece theater.

So I just assumed I should refrigerate them too. Get on with your story!

So we started manufacturing the candy canes. Uh huh.

Some damn kid in my basement, you waltzing into the house in the middle of the night

Some of them are even littler than you.

Something for all the children...

Something for them.

Something special. Now, here's the idea. Mm hmm.

Something's happening! Patch! Oh, no!

Sometimes I get so many ideas, I don't know where to keep them in my head.

Sometimes I wonder about you.

Southeast crosswind, point right. Northwest

Steady! That's the way!

Still, giving this toy away for free that, Dr. towser,

Stink face creep who made the kids hate the best guy ever!

Stockings hung by the fireplaces.

Stop giving me all these short sentences and making me go "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh"..

Strange place, strange companions.

Sure you can!

Sure, the first Christmas, it's free.

Sweetie pie!

Swine! Cancel my subscription.

Take care of yourself, huh?

Take charge of the reindeer. Boog, take charge of the reindeer.

Tell 'em it's all right. Uh, hey, like,

Tell us how you make it. Can you, please?

Th there must be a mistake.

Than you are to see this, and I can guarantee that if these are not isolated examples,

Thanks for the cookies.

That henceforth,

That is not exactly what I had in mind.

That little boy must not get a present.

That one.

That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly."

That the night of the world is a passage...

That there would come to us...

That would cost a fortune!

That, beginning today, my pal patch here...

That's all right, donner boy.

That's all the advertising you'll ever need.

That's because you were probably a naughty boy.

That's donner and blitzen.

That's it. Oh!

That's my good boys. Come on!

That's not bad. Aha!

That's the stuff I told you about.

That's the way. That's the way. Come on.

That's what he asked for in his letter.

The b.Z. Toy manufacturing corporation.

The candy canes exploded!

The children are waiting!

The color, the style.. that outfit is him, boys. I'm telling you. Just him.

The consumer needs a new model.

The future is ours, patch.

The man of the hour. Ask him anything.

The money's coming in so fast, you'd think we were printing it ourselves!

The north star sparkled.

The one who gets the job is the one who does the job best.

The people don't seem to care...

The people don't want to wait a whole year; They're dying for a sequel!

The people who buy the toy.

The post said that anyone who gives his kid a b.Z. Toy should have his head examined.

The prophecy...

The retail outfits are pulling our toys off the shelves. Cowards!

The road from the village must be blocked.

The thing

The way you can tell them apart is by those snooty monocles.

The world is a different place now, Anya.

The world is no place for an elf.

The world's a nice enough place, isn't it?

Then dasher and ViXen. Look. There's the Brooklyn bridge.

Then it's cool, then? Yeah.

There.

There's much more to see, folks.

There's nothing to worry about.

There's nothing to worry about. It's only flying.

These are fine specimens. Oh! Hear that, boys? You made a good impression.

These... industrious little boys and girls...

They exploded? That's what they said. When they got hot.

They react to extreme heat and turn volatile.

They usually get a year's rest. They're doing their best.

They'll be writing to me!

They'll get what they paid for.

They're Christmas toys. Waiting for you.

They're here.

This can't wait.

This is a curious kind of place. This is nothing now.

This is it! Come on!

This is not a laughing matter, sir. This is a tragedy!

This is the same story she told last year.

This is unbelievable!

This is your home now.

This is your legacy, and your gift,

This isn't real. The public doesn't want reality. They want the dream.

This product of yours

This special broadcast...

This this won't take long. I'll be right back.

This white faced boy here, that's old dasher.

This would have to happen now. Well, I'll have to make do with six.

This, uh, something special

Three months? But it's a year to Christmas.

Time travels with you;

To all the little children of this world.

To do candy canes, and in a week or two, and then I suppose

To get the magic candy canes I promised them.

Tonight, there's not a child alive...

Too fast? Welcome to the 20th century!

Towards cleaning up my public image.

Towser, take that way! Oh! Oh!

Towser! Good lord, man! 3:00 in the morning!

Towser! Towser!

Two elves spring to mind. One of them practically bounces to mind!

Two more degrees north by northwest

Uh huh. What about it, b.Z.

Uh, goober, actually. He's head of the sewing department.

Uh, it does suit me, doesn't it?

Uh, what we want what we want...

Uh, you don't understand.

Uh, you'll see.

Um oh! Look, look, look.

Um oh! Look.

Um, senator, I'm even more astonished...

Um, senator, with all due respect

Um, yes, senator, this doll appears to be...

Under the north star.

Unit 71, are you 10 4?

Vanish... like this.

Vout, take charge of the reindeer.

W what does he mean?

Wa hoo hoo!

Wait a minute! Oh! Oh! Go, go, go!

Wait a second. Oh, oh, my!

Wait! Isn't it going too fast?

Wait! Wait!

Wanna go for a ride?

Was that that last part.

Watch out! Oh! Wait a minute!

Way at the top of the world,

Way on top,

Way to go, donner!

We almost gave up hope!

We are!

We can launch the ad campaign tomorrow. Strike while the iron is hot!

We did it! We did it! Ha ha ha!

We have got ourselves one heck of a problem here.

We have no children. You do now.

We live in a village far away from this one. Blow! Bits of old ropes,

We prefer to be called elves, if you don't mind.

We were expecting someone nice, but not someone so young and pretty.

We'll both go. And for once, we'll bring Santa claus a present.

We'll bring it out on march 25,

We'll get it next time.

We'll take the cash...

We're flying out at 1900 hours! That's what we came to tell you.

We've got millions of dollars pouring in every day, most of it in cash.

We've got to hurry. Come on, boys!

We've got to meet a payroll by the end of the month for 2,000 factory workers.

We've got to stop this. Stop? Are you insane?

Welcome aboard, sir. Speaking for the boys and myself,

Welcome back, Santa. Have a good trip?

Welcome, welcome. I'm the one called puffy. We've been expecting you.

Welcome.

Well done, donner!

Well, boys, I'm gonna miss you. You know that, don't you?

Well, come on. Huh?

Well, come on. Whoa!

Well, dooley? As if I don't have enough to do.

Well, I gather you're a great toy giver.

Well, I guess I'll just have to do it my way.

Well, I guess it does resemble

Well, I'm sure they're fine and dandy, dandy and fine.

Well, I'm taking my coffee to the library,

Well, I've got a lot to do.

Well, it would be a shame to let it go to waste.

Well, it's all natural ingredients.

Well, it's elf explanatory. I mean, it would make them fly.

Well, let me tell you, my friend, tonight, nothing can upset me.

Well, maybe tonight's the night!

Well, nobody yet. But now Santa claus has seen what I can do.

Well, nothing. We're going to give them away free.

Well, of course she's gonna get a present. She writes a nice letter.

Well, senator, I've always known that cigarette smoking...

Well, that's not how we do it here!

Well, the patch work present comes from me.

Well, what did you have in mind, elf?

Well, what do you say to that, sir?

Well, you better do more than that, sir.

Well, you certainly know your reindeer.

Well...

Well... all right.

Well... candy canes?

Wh wh what would happen if you were to juice up the formula a bit?

Wh what have they got to do with me?

What a guy.

What a night, my boys! What a night!

What about corny?

What about the fact that the senate subcommittee on toy safety...

What about the, uh, "yo"?

What are you talking about? What idea?

What can I tell you? It gives him pleasure.

What color? What color do you like?

What do we need all these reindeer for?

What do you call them?

What exactly is it?

What is it, donner, eh? You look so frightened.

What is it? A vendegum.

What is it? It's a poem. A poem about me.

What is it? Look. The candy canes! They're in the car with 'em.

What is it? Oh, something patch thought up.

What is it? This stardust this reindeer cornflakes

What new home? There's nothing here.

What the

What the hell

What the hell are you talking about? This patch guy

What would it cost? Cost? Cost who?

What? Pardon?

What'll we do, b.Z.?

What's going on?

What's in the lollipops, Mr. patch?

What's it all about?

What's puce? It's like fuchsia,

What's this about the senate subcommittee? Just typical newspaper garbage.

What's this?

What's this? Oh, next year's schedule.

Whatever it is that made the children walk on air

Whee!

When you've got a hit like we have, patch,

Where are we going? We're going to the north pole.

Where are we going? Well, we can't joyride all night.

Where are we?

Where did you get it? He gave it to me.

Where is he? My step Uncle's got him. Those candy canes

Where will they get that kind of money? What do I care?

Whinnies and snorts.

Who live in the ice mountains,

Who? The astronauts.

Who's not bursting with joy and happiness.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa. Whoa!

Whooooaaaaah!

Whoops. Hi, there.

Why don't you get an assistant, hmm?

Why should I? He never brought me anything.

Why would you want to do that? What does the north pole have that New York doesn't?

Why, it's patch!

Why? So Santa claus will appreciate me.

With enough money, a horse in a hoop skirt can get on one of those.

Won't... be... Needing them anymore?

Would love all children, everywhere.

Would you like some cookies? They're from bloomingdale's.

Wouldn't be Christmas without him, though, would it? He hasn't missed one yet.

Wow, neat! How do you make 'me do it?

Wow! I don't believe it!

Wow! Oh, wow!

Yaaaaa hoo!

Yeah, fly. Fly? Fly? Fly?

Yeah, I tell you, boys, he gives me a real feeling of elf confidence.

Yeah, I think that, um... red

Yeah, it means you don't have a job till next year. You and the rest of the winos.

Yeah, they keep you busy, huh? Well, I I I like it that way.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep. What'd he get?

Yes, he's here, he's here!

Yes, I know. I said I was intrigued, didn't I?

Yes, it's terrific. Well done, b.Z.!

Yes! Red!

Yes? We brought the prototypes for, uh... it.

Yes. And who appreciates them better than I?

Yes. But I still don't know who you are.

Yes. You mean, like a fairy?

Yes... I guess I was no angel.

Yippee!

Yo!

Yo!

Yo?

You ain't never gonna beat Santa claus! Never!

You better withdraw every b.Z. Toy on the market,

You can do it, boy! I know you can do it!

You can do it, donner! Come on, boy!

You can turn them out by the thousands. Uh huh.

You can't see your hand in front of your face out there. You won't get through.

You did your best, you know?

You do just as I tell you.

You don't have any parents, so naaah! Ow!

You don't see it.

You have all the children of the world.

You haven't made one of those since

You look... Wonderful to me.

You mean you and me, Eric.

You mean, if a kid writes

You mean, like, fly? Like fly high in the sky.

You really are Santa claus, ain't ya?

You ruined Christmas! But I never did. What are you talking about?

You stay out there, and you'll be dead is what you'll be.

You were quite right to bring this to our attention, dooley.

You will be called...

You will bring our gifts to all the children...

You, sir, are a disgrace to your profession.

You'll be as safe here as you are in your own home. I ain't got a home.

You'll find it under the Christmas tree.

You'll have folks saying that Santa claus only rewards the good little boys and girls.

You're burning up! I'll be all right.

You're cute.

You're doing fine. Thanks, daddy.

You're going to give them to your children.

You're staying here!

You've got to fly like the wind.

Your soup's getting cold.

Yours sincerely, miss Sarah foster."

"He had a broad face Yes. Go on.

"that shook when he laughed like a bowlful of.. Jelly.

♪ And here it is Christmas ♫ Merry Christmas!

♪ live, live, live ♪

A fight! Girls! No way can dancers be angry.

Ahhh! Put your seat belt on.

All right, men.

All right. Coming?

And? There's no more lab.

anything he wants? Joe, didn't you ever write me a letter?

At least he's all right. What are you going to do?

Come on, blitzen.

Come on, donner! This may be it! This may be it! Ohh, yahoo!

Come on, donner. You can do it.

Come on!

Don't you know who I am? Sure, you're a nut.

Fly, boys! Can't they go any faster?

For free? Well, that's how we do it at the north pole.

For me? For you.

Go.

Ha! Oh!

He did. He did! Oh, my!

He probably doesn't even know what grade I'm in. Young lady,

He's a great guy! His toys are cheap crap!

Hello, Joe. Hey, how's it goin'?

Hello, little girl. Is this my doll?

Hello, son. Hey, beat it, man.

Here we go! Ohh

Hey, comet!

Home. No, no, no. Our home is far from

How'd you do that? See, what did I tell ya?

Hurray! Hoop ah!

I mean, like, really?

I'll see you again. You will? You mean it?

I'm Santa claus. Oh, it's a great pleasure to meet you, sir.

I'm talking faster, quicker And sloppier.

I've never even been in a plane! You better make up your mind.

Is going to stand for this He never even looks at my report card.

Is that how they think I look? Well, you know. The cookies.

Isn't it beautiful? Yes, lovely.

Isn't this something? Did you hear that? He said it's something!

It's a very powerful mixture, you know? Uh huh.

Look at old blitz in there. Does he look worried? Hmm?

merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Mm hmm. You'll see. What's that?

Next Christmas Eve, we got a date, okay? You bet!

No additives whatsoever. Who did your outfit?

No, I can't. I've gotta go back. No, no, no, no.

Oh h h h! Whoo! Whoo, whoo!

Oh, don't be elf conscious! My friends, let us show you your new home.

Oh. Well? Coming closer now. Not just yet!

Ohh! Come on, guys, go!

Ohh! Ohh.

Ooh! Ooh!

Saddle up the reindeer! But it's only two weeks since they've been out.

Season's greeting's back! Season's greetings!

See, I usually travel light. Well

Some damned little sneak! I heard what you said!

Sorry? That's what Santa's wife is always saying.

They're waiting.

They've got flu.

To quality and detail Boys, boys.

Wait till you see how it gets during season's greetings. Season's greetings?

We know you're in there! We'll kick the door!

We're comin' in! Hold it!

We've been expecting you. Expecting us?

Well, all of them. Which countries?

Well, anything except the super dooper looper.

Well, who? Am I right?

Were we, boys? No. No.

What about, um Brown!

What are you doing here? You two know each other.

What are you doing out here? I'm pitchin' a no hitter for the Yankees.

What did you bring? What did I get? Wait.

What? I don't like to see you pushing yourself like this.

What's it look like? But it's Christmas Eve!

What's that? I've been trying for years.

Where are we?

Where did it come from? It was always here.

Where is it? Up there, sir.

You little brat! Who is this kid?

You you I'm the one called dooley.

You're spreading yourself too thin. Who would want the job?

'Bye, dear.

"'Twas the night before Christmas,

"And a little round belly,

"and when I cry, he just laughs at me.

"He had a broad face, and a little round belly,

"I am sure he hurts the poor little kitten,

"Only flying"? What am I saying?

"when all through the house,

♪ a special time when we ♪

♪ all he has to give ♪

♪ all my life ♪

♪ All over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ all over the world ♫

♪ all over the world tonight ♪

♪ all over the world tonight ♪

♪ all over the world tonight ♪

♪ all over the world tonight ♪

♪ all over the world tonight ♪

♪ all over the world tonight ♪

♪ and make Christmas last forever ♪

♪ Christmas is the best of days ♪

♪ did everything I should ♪

♪ Every Christmas Eve ♪

♪ every Christmas Eve ♫

♪ every girl and boy ♪

♪ from the north pole to the Southern tip ♪

♪ goes all around the world in just a day ♪

♪ he makes his trip with love to give away ♪

♪ I can see ♪

♪ I learned if I was good ♪

♪ in his sleigh ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ It's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ It's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪

♪ it's Christmas ♪ they must be very popular.

♪ It's our favorite person ♪

♪ join hands around one tree ♪

♪ just believe in the miracle ♪

♪ mine and yours Santa claus ♪

♪ Santa gives to all of us ♪

♪ Santa really knows the way to live ♪

♪ shares the joy if they believe ♪

♪ Someone new has come to town ♪

♪ thank you, Santa ♪

♪ thank you, Santa ♪

♪ that dreams would all come true ♪

♪ there's snow in the sky ♪

♪ Time tumbles by ♪

♪ tonight ♪

♪ we are part of a miracle ♪

♪ we want to thank you, Santa ♫

♪ when it snows we know you're near ♪

♪ when Santa's flying in his magic sleigh ♪

♪ who's the happy cause ♪ ho, ho, ho!

♪ you can share it too ♪

♪ you will carry joy with you ♪

♫

♫

♫ Holy cow!