Back to the Beach Edit

A bait shop?

A couple of days?

A letter to my folks.

A little effort to understand.

A little something about responsibility.

A little surfer on a board.

A little thin. Doesn't she look thin?

A little variety.

A serious interest in surfing or surfers. Come on, Bobby.

A surfboard was about 9 feet long, weighed about 50 pounds.

A vacation?

Aaaaaah!

Absolutely correct.

According to my scorecard, we're just about even now.

Adorable? It's strange.

After all that surfing, her hair, perfectly dry.

After we bought these bikes with your credit card.

Against our best guy. Yeah!

Ah huh ah, ah huh ah ♪

Ah huh ah, ah huh ah ♪

Ah huh, ah huh ah ♪

Ah huh, ah huh, ah huh uh ♪

Ah, I guess I got lucky, huh?

Ah, what the hell, it's late.

Ah, yeah.

Alan! You the man.

All I need is a nice, few waves out there

All over, all over, all over ♪

All over, all over, all over... ♪

All right ♪

All right, all right, wait a second.

All right, all right.

All right, good work. Yeah, good work. 18 bucks?

All right, honey. okay, I'm coming in.

All right, I will.

All right, kid, so you got a point.

All right, men, there's the clock!

All right, okay.

All right, that's it. I've had enough.

All right!

All right!

All right.

All the good times we used to have here.

ALL: Ba, ba, ooh maw maw, ba, ba, ooh maw maw maw ♪

ALL: Ska, ska, ska ♪

Almost. Bobby...

Although she did develop this one little quirk.

Am I dead? No.

Am I mistaken, or is this the plot to Gilligan's Island?

Am I now officially a troubled child from a broken home?

And again and again ♪

And again and again ♪

And can be pretty grouchy sometimes.

And dance the pony right here on this very table.

And don't tell me you came here for a party permit.

And drank enough Stunned Mullets

And finally realized we all needed a break.

And find a new home, new wardrobe

And find out what's going on.

And he never surfed again.

And he'll be back.

And he's been living with me for six months,

And he's never been the same since.

And how is Mr. Excitement this morning, huh?

And I am God here, right? PUNKS: Yeah!

And I love it.

And I mean anything on wheels.

And I promise, I'll raise Bobby as if he were my own son.

And I see, on the horizon,

And I thought you know what it means too.

And I walk ♪ I walk ♪

And I wind up making 18 bucks for the day!

And I'll never, never, never wash it off.

And I'll shimmy ♪ Shimmy, shimmy ♪

And I'll twist ♪ I'll twist ♪

And I'll walk ♪ I'll walk ♪

And if I were a goody two shoes like you,

And if not, can I be now?

And if that just inconveniences you a little, well, too bad.

And in clear violation.

And it keeps getting gross and squishy,

And it was fun, fun in the sun, sun, let's go ♪

And it was fun, fun, in the sun, sun, let's go ♪

And it was fun, fun, in the sun, sun, let's go ♪

And it was fun, fun, in the sun, sun, let's go ♪

And it's so big that Annette, Annette, Annette.

And lead the board. Don't let the board lead you.

And look at this.

And make a nuclear reactor.

And make her look pretty like the rest.

And maybe a new Don't you dare

And maybe, just maybe,

And now all I gotta do is go out

And now they're going to be here for God knows how long.

And now you go out the window!

And put the zip back in his marriage.

And Sandi and Michael decided on a Christmas wedding.

And shake your hips ♪

And swing your arms ♪

And swing your arms ♪

And thanks for showing us your little toys.

And the beat touches the ground and the surf's in town ♪

And the contestants are going to be judged

And the toilet seat is up! I knew it!

And the wave touches down and the sun all around ♪

And the wave touches down and the sun's all around ♪

And then I'll make him suffer.

And then it just disappears.

And there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for him.

And they fly, and I'll fly ♪

And they fly, and I'll fly ♪

And they had really bad attitudes,

And they shimmy, and I'll shimmy ♪

And they twist ♪ They twist ♪

And they twist, I'll twist ♪

And they walk ♪ They walk ♪

And this seems to be... Pigskin. Thank you very much.

And was at the breaking point.

And was my new hero.

And we thought he was dead.

And we thought we'd see your new place.

And we trust that as mature adults they'll understand this.

And we'd like you to say a few words.

And we'll get back to you as soon as we can, okay? Bye.

And we're going to party wearing our P.J.'s ♪

And were incredibly rude and dangerous.

And when you catch a wave ♪

And who said you can never go home again?

And with an absolute certainty what's in there.

And yes, that's right, more shopping.

And you know it ♪

And you put the sucker in the women's john.

And you tell it well. Just speed it up.

And you're the Big Chihuahua!

And you're too sexy for words.

And your father is sitting,

And your feet touch the ground when the surf's in town ♪

And your mind in the summer is it real? ♪

And your point is?

And, of course, the winner and their friends

Annette says I can't have any fun. Are you fun?

Annette, honey, I am not my daughter.

Annette, I am going home. Are you coming now?

Annette, look at this.

ANNETTE: 2566.

ANNETTE: Bobby, you get down from there right this instant!

ANNETTE: For neatness really pays ♪

ANNETTE: He gets up on it, but it's too big.

ANNETTE: Here we go.

ANNETTE: Honey! It's all right,

ANNETTE: I hope the bags don't take too long.

ANNETTE: It's too late!

ANNETTE: Que será será ♪

ANNETTE: We got it.

ANNETTE: What did Sandi say?

Annette.

Another drink!

Any suggestions?

Anyhow, they got married and moved to Ohio

Anything else? No.

Anyway, how are you fixed for bread?

Are going to have the right to the entire beach.

Are the memories that we're going to find ♪

Are we the corniest couple you've ever seen, or what?

Are we?

Are you nuts? You're the Big Kahuna, honey.

Are you saying that you don't like peanut butter?

Are you sure about this?

Are you sure you're okay?

Around our house, we have this nightly ritual.

As a matter of fact, only on our honeymoon.

As for Mom,

As if I have some control over this.

Aw, thanks, Kahuna. Give me a smooch.

Aw. If it wasn't Annette, Connie,

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba ♪

Ba, ba, ooh maw maw, ba, ba, ooh maw maw maw ♪

Ba, ba, ooh maw maw, ba, ba, ooh maw maw maw ♪

Ba, ba, ooh maw maw, ba, ba, ooh maw maw maw ♪

Ba, ba, ooh maw maw, ba, ba, ooh maw maw maw ♪

Ba, ba, ooh maw maw, ba, ba, ooh maw maw maw ♪

Back in the Dark Ages, when you were a teener,

Back in the good old days, huh? PUNK: Pajama party?

Bam! Chicks flying everywhere.

Bbbbbbbbbirrrrrrd ♪

Beauty is as beauty does, that's what wise men say ♪

Because I can't break her legs.

Because I, too, am looking special tonight.

Because she'll have to enjoy a good joke.

Because then you get blamed, right?

Believe this?

Besides, every time he's got me cornered,

Best boards on the beach.

Bet you these would be easy to sell, huh?

Bird, bird, bird, the bird's the word ♪

Bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word ♪

Birrrrrrrrrrrd ♪

Bitchen.

Board! Huh? Look.

Bobby is a tougher name than Shirley.

Bobby, come get your lunch.

Bobby, come on, before we lose him.

Bobby, dear, I hope you're not being any trouble.

Bobby, did I ever tell you the time when I was surfing...?

Bobby, get over here now, and I mean now, mister,

Bobby, no one's afraid of lunch.

Bobby, you're getting mixed up with the wrong crowd here.

BOBBY: After 15 years, Dad sensed trouble

BOBBY: And although Mom wouldn't recognize stress

BOBBY: As for me, I developed a serious identity crisis

BOBBY: Dad went out that night

BOBBY: Gee, Dad turned out to be pretty cool

BOBBY: It means he worries a lot,

BOBBY: It was useless.

BOBBY: It's not that he's a creep or anything.

BOBBY: She became the first pinup queen for boys under 12.

BOBBY: This is my dad now.

BOBBY: Uh oh. Here we go again.

BOBBY: Well, Mom's theory was swell,

BOBBY: When Mom got depressed, she sang.

BOBBY: Yep, the Big Kahuna now owns Friendly Ford...

BOBBY: You figured that out all by yourself, Pop?

Bobby! Honey, what are you doing?

Bobby... Stop it!

Boy, back in my day, a surfboard...

Boy, back in the old days, it was really something.

Boy, it's quite a piece of dialogue

Boy, there's a lot of that going around.

Boy, you really know how to flatter a girl, don't you?

BOY: Girls threw themselves at him.

Bridgette, where were we?

Bridgette. Bridgette. Get Bridgette.

Buckle up!

But don't worry, I won't let it happen again.

But everybody can do the ska ♪

But everybody can do the ska ♪

But exactly five minutes, okay? I'll wait in the car.

But he couldn't fix a two foot hole in a boat.

But I couldn't tell you, because Dad would freak out.

But I do have one rule, you know.

But I don't know what thing I thought I saw.

But I don't know what to say except... it's about time.

But I just think that if you can make money

But I know this.

But I like what you're thinking.

But I think, um,

But I'll tell you something.

But I'm the reason he's out there!

But it was fun, fun, in the sun, sun, let's go ♪

But it was fun, fun, in the sun, sun, let's go ♪

But just one time, I'd like to get him once.

But my husband and I have a plane to catch soon.

But not too far for me to scream for help.

But peanut butter is not

But that's because you tell it so well.

But would you like a little, junior pilot pin?

But would you mind if I married your daughter?

But you didn't seem able to have any with me, did you?

But you don't wanna be around when it goes off,

But you kept saying,

But you know it ain't right ♪

But... the years have hardened me, Annette.

By style and originality.

By the price of their toys.

California, then we go nationwide.

Called the "Stunned Mullet,"

Can I ask you one question?

Can't we enjoy being back on the beach again?

Can't we get a permit?

Check me tomorrow, all right?

Chicks dig me digging them. Dig?

CHORUS: Da da da, da da da da da ♪

Clap your hands!

Clap your hands.

Come in, dude!

Come on everybody let's clap your hands ♪

Come on, Annette, lighten up. Lighten up?

Come on, baby... ♪

Come on, come on, do the loco motion with me ♪

Come on, Dad! Come on!

Come on, dudes, let's crank it!

Come on, everybody knows that the bird is the word ♪

Come on, honey, just five minutes.

Come on, let's go have some fun! Come on, Annette, let's go!

Come on, little buddy,

Come on, Nettie, don't be a pill.

Come on, you guys!

Come on!

Come on! Honey!

Come on.

Connie saved everything I used to care about.

Connie, I gotta tell you, you got a great kid.

Connie, I wouldn't dream of leaving this place

CONNIE: Ladies and gentlemen...

Connie? Yes!

Connie.

County Line, we've got 3 to 6.

CROWD IN UNISON: The primo surfer in the whole state, the Big Kahuna.

CROWD: All right! Yeah!

CROWD: Awwww!

CROWD: Go, Zed, go! Oh, yeah! All right, Zed!

CROWD: Kahuna!

CROWD: Kahuna! Kahuna! Kahuna!

CROWD: Kahuna! Kahuna! Kahuna!

CROWD: No.

CROWD: Oooh!

CROWD: Oooh!

CROWD: Oooooh.

CROWD: Oooooh.

CROWD: Pee Wee!

CROWD: Yeah, what's he going to do?

CROWD: Yeah!

CROWD: Yeah!

CROWD: Yeah! Bye, Pee Wee!

CROWD: Yeah! Cool idea!

CROWD: Yeah.

CROWD: Yeah. All right.

Da da da, da da da da da ♪

Da da da, da da da da da ♪

Da da da, da da da da da ♪

Da da da, da da da da da ♪

Da da da, da da da da da ♪

Da da da, da da da da da ♪

Dad was developing some serious stress problems too,

Dad, does the phrase "get over it"

Dad, it's been a pleasant visit. Come back real soon, okay?

Dad, you'll get killed on that. A lot!

Damn it, I knew we should not have come back to this beach.

Dick Dale's on tonight. Let's go say hi to Dick.

Dick, you know "Venus"? "Venus"?

Did you say "even"?

Dinner and now the surf story.

Dinner and then the accident story.

Do I surf?

Do I surf? I'm sure!

Do it nice and easy, now, don't lose control ♪

Do not! Do to!

Do the loco motion with me ♪

Do the ska ♪

Do the ska ♪

Do the ska ♪

Do the ska ♪

Do the ska ♪ Hey, wait. Where you going?

Do you ever shut up?

Do you girls know how to Jamaica ska?

Do you know they make a drink here

Do you know what "conjugate" means, Dad?

Do you mean to tell me

Do you want me to conjugate that for you, Pop?

Do you worry about tomorrow? ♪

Does Dolly Parton float?

Does Michael Jackson have flammable hair?

Does Oprah Winfrey eat?

Doing something you love...

Don't He's driving me nuts!

Don't be afraid to try the greatest sport around ♪

Don't call me that. I hate being called that.

Don't get him started on the surf accident.

Don't give me that bad girl jazz.

Don't say it!

Don't the memories come flooding back?

Don't wet the hair please.

Don't worry, Bobby. When I find this guy,

Don't you know about the bird? ♪

Don't you know, it's the latest craze? ♪

Don't you think you ought to slow down now, tiger?

Don't you think? Huh?

Doo doo doo ♪

Doo doo doo ♪

Doo doo doo ♪

Doo doo doo ♪

Doo doo doo do, doo doo doo do ♪

Doo doo doo do, doo doo doo do ♪

Doo doo doo do, doo doo doo do ♪

Doo doo doo do, doo doo doo do ♪

Doo doo, Saturday night ♪

Dude, dude, it's totally gnarly.

Dude, you're crazy!

Dude! Come in! You going to get messed up!

Dume. Dume's totally mixed out. Dude, get on your boards!

Each a shining diamond in my mind ♪

Eat sand, lame o's.

Edd Byrnes, wow. How kooky!

End of story.

Every day ♪

Every waking minute.

Everybody tries it once ♪

Everybody!

Everybody's doing a brand new dance now ♪

Evil and godless communism.

Exactly, uh... No trophy?

Except Dad wasn't exactly

Excuse me, ma'am, but I believe this is my bag.

Fine.

Fine. Fine.

Fine. Fine.

First you spread your limbo feet ♪

Fleishman. Fleishman, massage this baby

For those of you who ordered special meals, good move.

Forget parties. We don't want a party.

FRANKIE: Another drink.

FRANKIE: Bobby! Bobby, slow up!

FRANKIE: Boy, great dinner!

FRANKIE: Cowabunga!

FRANKIE: Ha ha! Two toothbrushes, after shave lotion,

FRANKIE: Hi, Sandi, this is your father.

FRANKIE: I didn't talk to her. I got the machine.

FRANKIE: Michael, it's hard not to miss a woman

FRANKIE: Oh...

FRANKIE: Parking! ( car door closes )

FRANKIE: Sandi, come on, open the door.

FRANKIE: Sandi, it's your father.

FRANKIE: That's 64, 68.

FRANKIE: What number did you say?

FRANKIE: Yeah, big deal.

FRANKIE'S VOICE: When you say, "We're not in," who exactly is "we"?

From Down Under.

From his relentless obsession with selling,

From Jersey to New Orleans, out in Ohio ♪

From over in Hawaii, down in Mexico ♪

From spending so much time shopping,

Fun place for a kid who only wears black.

Fun! Fun! We're having fun!

Get it? Got it.

Get Jerry Lewis on the phone. Let's get a telethon going.

Get me drunk and back to your place.

Get out of here, you boys!

Get real. We never did anything.

Get to the close to the board? What'd he say? I forgot!

Get you someone really ♪

Get your girl or your guy, whatever you feel ♪

Gets hit in the head a lot. Hey, you look great!

Give him another drink.

Go figure.

Go get them, Dad.

Go get them, Kahuna. MICHAEL: Hey, wait up!

Go, Pop, go!

God, I'm proud.

God. Man, I'm changing my gang name.

Gonna catch a ride on a wave all over the world ♪

Gonna catch a ride on a wave all over the world ♪

Good morning, tiger.

Good one, huh, Bobby?

Good.

Gosh, Michael, what a gut wrenching tragedy.

Great! Dinner!

Great! That means that we're hitting it off, doesn't it?

Ha ha! Now I get it.

Ha ha. What the hell is a Kahuna anyway?

Ha, ha! ( shoes squeak )

Ha! Look. Unbelievable.

Ha! Venus...

Hair?

Hair?

Hang nine!

Harbor Master of the Year.

Have separated.

Have we gone out before? No.

Have you been sleeping with my daughter?

He burns things? Uh huh.

He could take a couple of these,

He hightailed it straight to Daddy O's and Connie.

He spent his life on a surfboard.

He was in a coma for weeks,

He was pretty steamed.

He washes up on the beach,

He's battering down the door with someone's head?

He's got you cornered like a Marine on R and R.

He's just become the teeniest bit conservative.

He's more than mixed up with us.

He's never been a big drinker.

He's not even wearing shoes.

He's ridden waves they wouldn't photograph.

He's talking about you.

Headin' for the ocean on a Sunday morning ♪

Heavy on the fruit. Mm hm.

Hee hee hee hee ♪

Hee hee hee hee, ah huh, ah huh ah ♪

Help! Help!

Here's a trunk full of your old clothes.

Hey All right.

Hey ♪

Hey, all right.

Hey, babe, how about a Cuervo Gold?

Hey, dude.

Hey, gang, look over here.

Hey, good morning.

Hey, hey, gonna hit the beach today ♪

Hey, hey, gonna hit the beach today ♪

Hey, I sold seven of them today.

Hey, listen, if I were a young guy

Hey, listen. Thanks, babe. You guys have been great.

Hey, Ma?

Hey, Mom, you know who that was?

Hey, Mom.

Hey, shine those spots, dude!

Hey, slick.

Hey, that's my mother! That's my mother!

Hey, the radio has a dial, you know.

Hey, w w w

Hey, wait! Interests, interests.

Hey, Zed.

Hey!

Hey! Careful.

Hey.

Hi, did you boys have a nice time?

Hi, hon. Hi, Ma.

Hi, Mouseketeers. I'm Annette.

Hi, need a car?

Hiya, hon! Some bash, huh?

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! The hair, did you wet the hair?

Hold me back, Sandi.

Hold on, hold on!

Holy shit!

Honey, I'm an amusement park.

Honey, we can come back in the year 2000 and say hi to Dick.

Honey, we have a plane to catch.

Honey, you are still

Honey, you're a legend in my place.

Honey!

Honey! He keeps needling me.

How about a broken oar?

How about never?

How do we go about selling these?

How do you know that?

How low can you go?

How much I love you.

How very, very mature.

How'd you like to take me out tonight?

How's it going? Well, it's

How's that, uh, little husband of yours?

I also gave him a ten on that last run.

I am, because I know exactly,

I asked you not to tell me that.

I believe in happy endings.

I believe it's the plural form, indicating more than one.

I bought this for a buck from a 9 year old girl.

I can just see this. Marketing, that's what it needs.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. My wife. I just cannot believe it!

I can't believe they'd have a party and not invite us.

I can't talk now, man. I gotta surf!

I could've done that.

I couldn't agree more, Tony.

I couldn't live like this anymore.

I decided a hair helmet was the look for me.

I didn't mean that. Come on, you have to see my shrine.

I didn't think anybody would remember me from those days.

I dig chicks.

I do this because I love it.

I don't believe it either! How do you explain it?

I don't believe it, Bobby. Pop!

I don't believe it.

I don't believe... I had him in my sights!

I don't do it for a living.

I don't get it.

I don't know how to break this to you,

I don't know what's happening. Oh, Mom, what will I do?

I don't know. I'm just lucky, I guess.

I don't like the guy with the hair helmet.

I don't see a picture of me.

I don't suppose you want to hear about it, huh.

I don't think so.

I don't think so. I've been away for a long time.

I don't think the lady wants to go with you.

I don't want anybody that doesn't want me.

I don't want this to happen when we get to Los Angeles.

I eat right, and I get plenty of rest.

I feel great!

I feel... dead.

I find that hard to believe.

I found the entire ride stiff and, uh, uninspired.

I gave it a six. Thumbs down.

I give it an eight. Thumbs up.

I give that ride an unqualified ten!

I got socks that cost more than that.

I gotta find Annette.

I gotta get out of here. I gotta go back to the hotel.

I gotta get out of these clothes.

I gotta go home.

I gotta...

I guess this was a bad idea.

I guess those new fall fashions are coming in.

I had a home, a wardrobe and a fiancée.

I had Michael with my first husband, Spud.

I happen to be in the middle of a family crisis.

I have been tricked, and there is nothing,

I have ever seen in my entire life.

I hear this rumble. I look over my shoulder,

I just look in your direction ♪

I just think everything will turn out.

I just wanna get on the plane, okay?

I just wanna show it ♪

I know all of you have heard

I know that in my heart.

I know what he's going to do before he does.

I know what it means,

I know women.

I like the kid.

I love it!

I made a bonfire, and you're supposed to know what it means

I make and sell surfboards.

I mean, I gotta concentrate.

I mean, if I want to.

I mean, people just dream about that kind of thing.

I mean, they look real good.

I mean, we used to have a hell of a lot of fun on this beach.

I mean, what ?

I mean, you were the Big Caboose.

I never get the good guy. I'm the bad girl, remember?

I obviously haven't taught you a thing, have I?

I really like this kid.

I really like yours and Sandi's place,

I said, nice setup.

I saw him come up here. Pop, look out!

I saw you throw a thing. Did you see that thing?

I say come right to me and rock it one time ♪

I see this guy sitting over there.

I should be writing this down.

I still remember ♪

I still remember, baby ♪ Some things live forever ♪

I still remember, baby ♪ Some things live forever ♪

I sure would've soiled it some for you, pal.

I think Dad just forgot how to have fun.

I think I saw a thing,

I think it means she's not in.

I think they get the point.

I think you're very brave.

I thought I taught you more about salesmanship.

I thought L.A. was supposed to be loaded with movie stars,

I thought we were going to Hawaii.

I understand that this morning,

I wanna get out of here right now.

I was just fixing his hat. Just fixing his hat

I was stressed.

I won?

I would get my ass over there and get that guy.

I, Zed, am God here. Right?

I'd be thinking about making some extra bucks.

I'd be thinking about maybe a steady job

I'd be walking around with a toilet bowl on my hand.

I'd kiss Annette up against a rock.

I'd like to conjugate you

I'd like to have him,

I'll be back.

I'll cut off his toes and sell them to the bait shop!

I'll find someone

I'll have a little fun myself.

I'll pass.

I'll tell you what you do. You trick them.

I'll tell you what, kid. You're all right.

I'll twist ♪ And they shimmy ♪

I'm a guy. All right, all right!

I'm afraid.

I'm all alone. Then suddenly, black clouds start to gather.

I'm Annette.

I'm coming, Dad!

I'm fine, honey.

I'm glad to see you, I mean that.

I'm going swimming.

I'm going to break his legs. I'm going to break his face.

I'm going to tear him apart.

I'm going to tell Sandi I was an idiot and apologize.

I'm going to thrash your butt.

I'm going to want a little privacy tonight,

I'm having fun.

I'm in a lot of trouble?

I'm out in the break.

I'm out of here. Sandi, I've always loved you.

I'm really glad you guys came.

I'm so glad you came home.

I'm sorry, it's time to go.

I'm stopping this party!

I'm telling you, Bobby, that's enough! That's enough.

I've been around in the light and the sound ♪

I've been around in the night with the sound ♪

I've been told that.

I've been trying to get you to have fun,

I've been waiting 20 years.

I've got my gang name. Call me "Surly."

I've got my reasons.

I've got to find my husband.

I've gotta go after him!

I've heard that a lot.

If a dynamite looking chick like you was married

If a guy's thinking about getting married...

If he does this today,

If he won't take a wave, we can't win.

If I know "Venus"? Mm hm.

If it jumped up and bit her,

If this marriage gets any lighter, it'll float!

If you got a guy in there,

If you'll excuse me,

If you're his mom and he's, like, 22,

If your father had been there.

Impossible.

Impress me by throwing your money around,

In less than six hours, our lives have been shattered.

In the end, we always work it out ♪

In the heat in the summer ♪

In the heat in the summer ♪

In the warm California sun ♪

In the warm California sun ♪

In the warm California sun ♪

IN UNISON: Ba, ba, ooh maw maw, ba, ba, ooh maw maw maw ♪

Instead of being a deadbeat.

Intelligence, skill and talent.

Is going to consist of three rides.

Is it good to have a big one?

Is that him? Michael?

Is that you never can wear it out ♪

Is there something you want to tell me?

Is this like a chick thing?

Is when he plays the Surf King in order to sell cars on TV.

It closes over him.

It made me wanna leave the beach.

It moved quickly, and the ending was exciting and original.

It must be so wonderful being you.

It represents my disgust toward the world you grownups made,

It smells kind of funny, don't you think?

It took a real man to handle one of those babies.

It was a mistake even getting close to this old beach.

It was fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun ♪

It was our song.

It was so cool.

It was time to confront Mom with her problem.

It wasn't me.

It'd have been you.

It'll give him back his pride, his courage,

It's a little pick me up.

It's a long hot summer and the heat's so real ♪

It's a new dance that goes like this ♪

It's a pier.

It's a required course at our college.

It's beach city, baby ♪

It's been in there every day of my life!

It's called "dinner and then the accident story."

It's good to see you again. Ha, ha!

It's just rope.

It's just that I hope I remember how.

It's like a conversation at the Kissingers, isn't it?

It's like a sick kind of fixation with you.

It's like deciding not to breathe anymore.

It's like one of those adorable Smurfs, isn't it?

It's never a three hour tour!

It's nice to finally meet you, Michael.

It's not Nice. It's not Nice!

It's peanut butter, isn't it, Mom? Isn't it?!

It's still Saturday night ♪

It's the Big Potato!

It's the bloody surf demon on the beach of despair,

It's the Humunga Cowabunga...

It's the new dance that goes like this ♪

It's the new dance you can't resist ♪

It's this huge, enormous wave that rolls in from Australia,

It's totally shredding right here!

It's true!

It's you!

It's you!

Jack be nimble, jack be quick... ♪

Jamaica ska ♪

Jamaica ska ♪

Jamaica ska ♪

Jamaica ska ♪

Jamaica ska ♪

Jamaica ska ♪

Jamaica what?

Jamie, is my hair okay? Good, okay.

Jeez, I wish I could call the office

Just after 8 we'll congregate ♪

Just concentrate on relaxing and having fun again.

Just for the record, I have a wildly different opinion.

Just some of the memories of the best times of my life.

Kahuna!

Kahuna! CROWD: Kahuna! Kahuna!

Kahuna! Kahuna! Kahuna!

Kahuna! Kahuna! Kahuna! Kahuna! Kahuna! Kahuna!

Keith Richards lives on these.

Keith? Richards.

Kind of a weird dresser, but in the last few years,

Knife. Call me "Knife."

L.A. is just like any other place.

La la la la ♪

Let me spare you this.

Let me tell you about selling. We've got boards.

Let me tell you, kid. You've come to the right guy.

Let the games begin.

Let's get together tonight, that's right ♪

Let's get together tonight, that's right ♪

Let's go ♪

Let's go ♪

Let's go ♪

Let's go ♪

Let's go ♪

Let's go ♪

Let's go ♪

Let's go in for a second.

Let's go shopping.

Let's go, Annette.

Let's go.

Let's ride, guys! PUNKS: Yeah!

Let's say, over here.

Like sailing? Like sailing? Sailing is my life.

Limbo ankle, limbo knee ♪

Listen, this is my house too. I will not be driven out...

Listen, you gotta remember

Look at it, honey!

Look at you, 20 years later.

Look, don't mind him. Surfer, boards.

Look, there's your old board.

Look, we are going back to Ohio right now.

Luckily, he settled for "Bobby."

Ma, I'm just saying I need a change.

MALE SINGER: Okay, gang ♪

Malibu.

Malibu's not really happening now, dude.

Man, just forget it. Call me "Bobby."

MAN: Morning.

MAN: We love you, Annette.

Matty told Hatty, "That's the thing to do" ♪

May I say, you're uncanny?

Maybe he's just waiting for a bigger one.

Maybe I should just pin it to your cheek.

Maybe the Midwest is for me.

Maybe you don't understand exactly what went down today.

Me and my fiancé have split up.

Mean anything to you?

Michael, Michael.

Michael, my mother's only going to be here for a couple of days.

Michael, put some clothes on.

Michael, sweetheart, I love you. Now get the hell out.

MICHAEL: Can you add?

MICHAEL: Hey, dude.

MICHAEL: No. Good.

MICHAEL: Ow!

MICHAEL: Yeah, your dad told me

Michael!

Mike. Michael, you gotta win big tomorrow.

Missed it by... that much?

Mm hm. A pajama party!

Mom was even happier than usual,

Mom, Dad, Bobby.

Mom, Dad, the early years.

Mom, I gotta go. I'm going to be late for work.

Mom, it's the middle of the day.

Mom, was I adopted?

Mom, what is it?

Mom?

Mom? the Big Kahuna!

Mom?!

Mom.

MOUNTAIN: I don't get it, dude. All the time you've been here,

Mountain's Surf Report.

Mountain's Surf Report.

Mountain's Surf Report. Zuma...

My dad is a nice guy, a good provider, cruelly handsome,

My dad was a teen idol.

My honey bunny, my lamby whammy.

My husband doesn't sing anymore.

My little baby,

My mother and father,

My name isn't Bobby anymore.

My name's... Annette.

My new gang name is...

My parents were the most popular teenagers in America.

Nettie, please. You know as well as I do,

Never!

Nice hairstyle, Nice.

Nice setup.

Nice? You want us to call you "Nice"? Okay.

No losers. Yeah.

No one. Who was just in here?

No permit... no party.

No worries, no problems. No winners, no losers.

No, honey, who?

No, I don't go in the ocean anymore.

No, I guess I was wrong.

No, I'm talking serious men things.

No, I'm the captain of The Love Boat.

No, it won't!

No, it's like a parent thing.

No, Ma.

No, Michael, you can't! BARTENDER: He'll get wiped!

No, no, no, there will be no beach parties.

No, no. You make boards. You don't sell them.

No, what are you going to do,

No, worse than that.

No, your father will be back.

No! but I'm with the smart ass police.

No?

No? Oh, well, let me tell you what it is.

No.

No.

No.

No. I thought we did.

No. No.

No. Uh, you... won. Yeah.

No. Whoa. Michael, Michael, wait a minute.

No. Why not?

Nobody just decides not to surf again.

Not as good as the long, wooden boards I used to ride, but...

Not everybody can do the twist ♪

Not everybody can do the twist ♪

Not like this sissy job.

Not many people can cha cha cha ♪

Not many people can cha cha cha ♪

Not Shirley, it's Surly. Surly!

Not this great, but great.

Not! To!

Nothing that you can do to stop the pain and disappointment.

Now bow your head ♪

Now bow your head ♪ Mm hm.

Now do a dip ♪

Now do a dip ♪ Uh huh, uh huh.

Now everybody can do the ska ♪

Now go swimming.

Now I'm a stressed out car salesman.

Now listen carefully, girls. This is what I would do.

Now sit down and shut up!

Now, come on. Just relax.

Now, cut it out! Don't start anything.

Now, if you would be beautiful, do this every day ♪

Now, look, man. I'm going to do it.

Now, that's the kind of ride

Now, that's what I would've done

Now, we got a couple of hours,

Now, we'll be back real soon. It's only a three hour tour.

Now, what do you think that means, "We're not in"?

Now, what does "we" mean?

Now, you know I can't do that,

Now, you see, this one particular day,

Of course I'm the harbor master,

Of course it is.

Of course you do.

Of the Humunga Cowabunga From Down Under.

Oh ho.

Oh, and remember this? ( 50's music plays over radio )

Oh, and then there was that whole peanut butter thing.

Oh, Annette, I want to,

Oh, boy, am I forever in your debt.

Oh, come on, Annette, there's no rush.

Oh, come on, Annette. Don't be ridiculous.

Oh, come on, honey, I'm not in the mood.

Oh, come on, honey, we've got a plane to catch.

Oh, come on, honey.

Oh, come on! I wanna talk to you.

Oh, come on. Well, maybe sometimes.

Oh, Connie.

Oh, don't think about work now, sweetheart.

Oh, honey, that's just what all Midwesterners think.

Oh, honey, we still can.

Oh, how time flies when you're having

Oh, I didn't mean that kind of Annette.

Oh, I gotta...

Oh, I saw her yesterday, and you must've tried.

Oh, I was on the phone. Dad...

Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. Mine's leatherette,

Oh, it looks great, Mom.

Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it?

Oh, just for a minute.

Oh, let's not worry about him.

Oh, look, honey, it's our old beach!

Oh, look!

Oh, look!

Oh, Mom, I miss him. What am I going to do?

Oh, Mom, that was my boyfriend. He wants to marry me.

Oh, my God. It can't be.

Oh, my head.

Oh, no, I didn't mean... No, forgive me.

Oh, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Oh, no, not you. Not now!

Oh, no!

Oh, no! You can do it. I know you can.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. You're not going to leave

Oh, not that,

Oh, now, wait a second. Mm hm.

Oh, okay. Well, we've got a plane to catch. Let's go.

Oh, please? I can't. I'm driving, okay?

Oh, please. Every time I turn around,

Oh, prison?

Oh, really good, nice. Nice. Thanks a lot, huh?

Oh, say, hey,

Oh, sorry.

Oh, sweetheart. Oh, you look beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, the name's Troy.

Oh, this wind. Sandi, how's my hair?

Oh, well, that is just great.

Oh, what a shock.

Oh, wipeout!

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah? Well, let me tell you a story.

Oh, you looking special tonight, which is quite a coincidence,

Oh! What a damn good question.

Oh.

Oh...

Oh...

Oh... Oh...

Ohhhh! Ohhhh!

Okay, but here's my point.

Okay, cool. Tomorrow morning, dude.

Okay, folks. This surf off

Okay, I'm going to paint you a picture.

Okay, I'm sorry I've got to do this,

Okay, let's see how good you really are.

Okay, look. I do, I do.

Okay, now what? Now what? I don't know.

Okay, okay. Please.

Okay, thanks.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. So, what do I do?

On a wave ♪

On the back of the head, with a rock!

One day, I cracked.

One of the elements essential to human life.

One, two, three, four!

Ooh maw maw, ba, ba ooh maw maw maw ♪

Ooh maw maw, ba, ba, ooh maw maw maw ♪

Ooh, I'm getting goose bumps.

Ooh, they glow in the dark.

Ooh, what a party tonight ♪ Zed! Zed, leave her alone!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh! Don't get bent.

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ♪

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ♪

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ♪

Oooh oooh oooh oooh ♪

Oooh oooh oooh oooh ♪

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh, bop, bop ♪

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh, bop, bop ♪

Oooh!

Oooooooooh ah ♪

Or I'm gonna pull your smart little lips off.

Or spending any time with your daughter.

Ouch! It does!

Ow, Dad, my eyes are crossing.

Ow, Dad!

Ow!

Pajama party tonight ♪

Pajama party tonight ♪

Pajama party tonight ♪

PEE WEE: Come on, what's the word?

PEE WEE: Gnarly!

PEE WEE: Hang ten!

PEE WEE: Wipeout!

Point is, I'd like to buy you two of them.

Pop, you're really aware.

Possibly with an open mouth.

Punched the guy and then kissed me.

PUNKS: All right. Yeah.

PUNKS: Right!

PUNKS: Yeah. I know that.

PUNKS: Zed! Zed! Zed! Zed! Zed!

Radical!

Really? I think you got screwed on that deal.

Richards? The Rolling Stones.

Right after the accident.

Right? PUNKS: Right!

Right.

Robin?! She can't even swim!

Rock 'n' rollers, celebrities.

Rrrow!

Sandi lives on a pier?

SANDI: Excuse us.

Sandi!

Sandi?

Sandi. No, Dad, don't!

SANDI'S VOICE: We're not in right now, but leave a message,

Say, can I get you a used Ford Fairlane or something?

Say, would you like to hear about an accident I once had?

See you later, Mom.

See, what'd I tell you?

See? Come on.

Selling, selling.

Selling? Yeah. Maybe.

Served in a coconut shell?

Shake your hips ♪

She didn't say, "I'm not in." She said, "We're not in."

She joined that strange cult called the "Mouseketeers."

She lives on top of a bait shop?

She looks guilty. Who was just in here?

She said, "We're not in."

She was also getting pretty weird

She's got asthma.

She's still the most cheerful person on earth,

Shh I think I hear something.

Shimmy, shimmy ♪

Shirley? Your name is Shirley?

Shopping, ( dog barks )

Shorty? You calling me "shorty"?

Sing with me, honey!

Sir, if I could just convince you

Sit, sit.

Sitting on top of the world ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Ska, ska, ska ♪

Slow dancing, moonlight.

Smash! It's the biggest wipeout anyone's ever seen.

So dig. You take this baby,

So here's the date and don't be late ♪

So I can become so involved in making money

So I'm moving out.

So let the world go crazy ♪

So that's the whole story. I just thank God it's all over.

So this is what you do for a living, huh?

So we go on forever ♪

So we go on forever ♪

So we rode with my top down, kiss, hope and never tell ♪

So we're off to Hawaii.

So you You surf, Michael?

So you got this cherry bomb, right?

So you like sailing, huh?

So, what do you say we do some damage

So, what were you saying? Whoa!

So... So, um,

Some things live forever ♪

Somebody do something!

Somebody get me a net!

Something different once in a while.

Something had to give.

Sorry, about that.

Sorry, ma'am, he's dead. ( phone ringing )

Sorry.

Spud! Oh, Spud. Oh, jeez. Spud?

Spud? Oh, no.

Spud? Spud.

Spud.

Stay in your crouch until the wave tells you to get up.

Stay in your pouch. Stay in your crouch.

STEWARDESS: Ladies and gentlemen,

Stop it, boys!

Stop it! Stop it.

Stupid?

Stupid? You wanna talk stupid?

Sun, sun, sun, sun ♪

Sure.

SURFER: What?

Surfing bird!

Surrrrfinnnnng ♪

Sweetheart.

Take off all her clothes

Thank you, Dad. You continue to set a great example for me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks, gang. Or he might die.

Thanks, honey.

Thanks. I owe you one there, Dad.

Thanks. It was great seeing you again.

That are nice and quiet and...

That hair, that smile, those...

That I can totally ignore my family?

That I never saw you ride somewhere ♪

That means he could be my...

That must hurt. ( crack )

That our daughter is living on a pier?

That thing. What thing?

That this party will be good, clean fun

That was...

That you're having the time of your life

That's "Kahuna"! Yeah!

That's bad!

That's because you're boring.

That's bull. Hi, Mom. Hi, honey.

That's enough! I'm sure Sandi is fine.

That's enough. The show is over.

That's gotta take a lot of patience,

That's it, let's do it. A big beach bash!

That's it.

That's me.

That's not a board.

That's not junk to me.

That's perfect. Oh, there it is. Here.

That's right, honey, you won.

That's right. I'm president of the wrong crowd.

That's right. Oh, Michael, I'm sorry.

That's the word!

That's too bad, they're good.

That's too straight for you, remember?

That's very generous of you, in a sleazy kind of way.

That's what I do. I don't believe that.

The beach is hot, but that's what we paid for ♪

The best looking thing on this beach.

The Big Kahuna is back.

The Big Kahuna.

The biggest mother wave

The closest he gets to the ocean these days

The ending was anticlimactic.

The heavens open, everybody splits from the beach,

The ocean!

The old Stunned Mullet, huh? Yeah.

The respect of his son

The two fisted stud she remembered.

The water is warm, but that's what its made for ♪

The weather is absolutely crummy.

The winner and still the Big Crapola!

The yacht races are about to begin.

The, uh...

Then don't come later.

Then I'm glad for what we have today ♪

Then you move to limbo beat ♪

There is no ceremony. Well...

There were chicks, but you couldn't touch them.

There, that's better.

There's a dream only love can save ♪

There's a dream only love can stand ♪

There's a trophy and a ceremony,

There's one thing I do remember

These are sins here.

They called him the "Big Kahuna."

They certainly hardened your hair.

They just go nuts in California, huh, Dad?

They start out on a three hour tour,

They wanted to kill us.

They're going to be here any minute. They had a fight.

They're really cute.

They're still here? Yes, she and Bobby.

This guy loves you so much.

This has become a territorial dispute.

This helps. I'm Bridgette,

This humongous wave knocked the Kahuna right out of Dad,

This is going to be a very, very short contest.

This is my story.

This is our house in Ohio, and this is my mom now.

This is why we don't travel.

This kid's starting to bug me, Annette.

This party is for us.

This was my favorite soap on a rope,

This whole thing is a hoax. I hate it! I hate it a lot!

Those who don't just have to put it down ♪

Three minutes later...

To a totally bitchen dude like me,

To kill a plow horse.

To my dad's American Express card?

To pull the wool with you, wooly bully ♪

Today ♪

Tomorrow, we go and see that Nazi harbor master.

Tomorrow, you get the Chunky.

Toodles?

Toodles.

Toss your juvenile threats at me.

Troy, do you surf?

Troy.

Troy.

Trust me on this one.

Trust me.

Try to get the water here, okay?

Trying to select the, uh...

Tubular!

Twenty five years ago,

Twenty years ago while surfing,

Uh, uh, Connie, you remember Annette, huh?

Uh, what time does the ceremony begin?

Uh, when you say, "We're not in,"

Uh, who exactly is "we"?

Uh, you're the harbor master, right?

Uh...

Um, we haven't been introduced.

Understand? I'll tell you what I understand.

Unfailingly

Unfortunately, this was 1962, and he had to throw them back.

Unfortunately, you look great too.

Uno, dos, uno, dos, tres, quatro ♪

Until I saw you hugging that woman again.

Until then, this is our beach!

Venus, goddess of love that you are ♪

Wait a minute there, shorty.

Wait a minute, let me get this straight.

Wait, I wanna say goodbye to Sandi.

Wait, wait, wait. Flattery, flattery.

Wait. Wait a minute.

Wanna hear about it? Mmm. No.

Watch it now, watch it now, here it comes ♪

Watch it, now, watch it ♪

Watch me sway for you ♪

Watch my body sway for you ♪

Watch those bodies... ♪

Waves are crazy, come on!

We You know,

We are not having a fight.

We can catch a ride on a wave all over the world ♪

We can catch a ride on a wave all over the world ♪

We can catch a ride on a wave all over the world ♪

We can catch a ride on a wave all over the world ♪

We can catch a ride on a wave all over the world ♪

We didn't?

We get everything out in the open.

We gotta get together again. I'm miserable without her.

We gotta split now.

We have made a million memories ♪

We hoped for the Big Kahuna's comeback.

We let them in, we tell them,

We live on ♪

We met these really weird looking guys,

We missed the plane. Really?

We never had this much fun on the island I was...

We see what a little schmoozing can do.

We tell them I love you, I want to marry you,

We tried to figure where to take you last night,

We used to spend so much time here.

We will be serving dinner in our main cabin shortly.

We'd forgive each other.

We'd look a little silly in our pajamas now.

We'd throw the biggest bonfire on the beach,

We'll gather round where the fun is found ♪

We'll gather round where the fun... ♪

We'll have a party tonight ♪

We'll have a party tonight ♪

We'll kick his butt.

We'll surf for it. Winner takes the beach.

We're going to dance till the bright daylight ♪

We're going to dance to the bright daylight ♪

We're going to party tonight ♪

We're headin' for the coast ♪

We've got all kinds of boards.

We've got long boards, we've got tall boards...

We've got to shove off, little buddy.

We've only got a ten hour layover.

We've tried. The harbor master we've got

Weird things happen on a pier.

Well,

Well,

Well,

Well, am I sleeping here tonight? No.

Well, as long as you had fun.

Well, as usual, Tony, I totally disagree.

Well, brrrrrrrr... surfing bird ♪

Well, do you know how to Jamaica ska?

Well, don't you know about the bird? ♪

Well, don't you know about the bird? ♪

Well, due to an unfortunate circumstance,

Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word ♪

Well, everybody's heard about the bird ♪

Well, everybody's talking about the bird ♪

Well, figure it out, tiger.

Well, folks, here you have it.

Well, from stupid to gloomy, at least it's a step up.

Well, how about this?

Well, I don't, so I think you could make

Well, I know I just met you, but I love you.

Well, I know what I would do.

Well, I think it's so cute.

Well, I think living on a pier is adorable.

Well, I thought you were my girlfriend.

Well, I try to take care of myself.

Well, I'm going out West where I belong ♪

Well, I'm spending time with my daughter and my son.

Well, if I recall, one summer, you lived under a pier.

Well, it doesn't make any sense.

Well, it's a good thing you're not a plumber.

Well, it's good for you. You need it.

Well, Jer, it was well performed.

Well, maybe. I'll tell you something.

Well, now what are we gonna do?

Well, now, about the ceremony. When does it begin?

Well, pick a girl with a sense of humor

Well, surrrrrrfing ♪

Well, that's why I'm here, septic breath.

Well, the bird, bird, bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, the bird's the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, the bird's the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, well, the bird's the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, bird, well, the bird's the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, the bird is the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, the bird's the word ♪

Well, the bird, bird, the bird's the word ♪

Well, the bird, the bird, it's for sure the word ♪

Well, the girls are frisky in old Frisco ♪

Well, then we're having a fight.

Well, they walk ♪ They walk ♪

Well, they're out there having fun ♪

Well, they're out there having fun ♪

Well, this is a terrific turnout you've got here.

Well, Troy, let's cut the small talk.

Well, we're stopping in L.A. to see your sister, Sandi.

Well, why didn't you just say so?

Well, you did try to teach me how to get my hair real stiff.

Well, you know, I believe it is.

Well, you must represent darkness,

Well, you really can't tell ♪

Well, you see, what happened was...

Well, you were born, weren't you?

Well...

What a guy!

What a lovely surprise.

What am I doing? It seems to me that your daughter has developed

What are all the salesmen doing, sleeping?

What are you doing?

What are you going to ride, a Mustang?

What are you looking at?

What are you writing?

What ceremony? ( stomps foot )

What clothes? Tuna fish are wearing my clothes, remember?

What do you mean, "I believe it is"?

What does that mean, "Mom"?

What I like about a love song ♪

What I like about the future ♪

What is that?

What lucky? Are you kidding?

What the hell are you doing?

What was that? What was what?

What?

What?!

What's going on?

What's the matter with you guys?

What's the matter?

Whatever will be will be ♪

When Dad got depressed, he went back to selling.

When Dad wasn't singing,

When I burn stuff!

When I was born, Dad wanted to call me "Little Kahuna."

When life says love in the place that you found ♪

When life says love in this place that you found ♪

When you two intellectual giants get together.

Where am I?

Where the days are short and the nights are long ♪

Where's Michael?

Where's the movie stars? What?

Which is extra cool because you look like an Italian loan shark.

While they're sitting there depressed and miserable.

Who was thinking about getting married,

Who'll appreciate it.

Who's been in a good mood for 22 years.

Who's our best guy?

Whoa, dude, 8 foot faces, offshore winds, bro!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoo!

Whoop dee doo.

Whoopsie daisy.

Whose luggage is that? My mom's.

Why did I leave?

Why don't I ever learn?

Why don't we go somewhere dark and quiet

Why don't we settle it like we used to do

Why don't you ask Sandi?

Why would I wanna do that?

Why, I once saw a woman drink one of these,

Why, thank you.

Why, yes, it is.

Wild guess.

Will it be as good as yesterday? ♪

Will you stop having such a good time? It's annoying.

Wipe out ♪

With pretty little chicks wherever you go ♪

Without singing a song!

Without singing a song.

Won't allow any permits after dark.

Woolly bully ♪

Wooly bully ♪

Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully ♪

Workin' all day in a hot slave kitchen ♪

Works longer hours than a coal miner

Would you be my main squeeze? I never thought you'd ask.

Would you believe that I own the biggest yacht in the world?

Would you believe, the biggest tugboat?

Would you like your stupid ring back?

Would've driven him nuts. He would have walked up,

Wow, shrewd. And thrifty too.

Wow, what a charming remark.

Wrong.

Yeah, but now he's acting as if we never even met.

Yeah, but you were the hottest surfer on the beach.

Yeah, hey, I'm gonna be there happy today ♪

Yeah, how low can you go?

Yeah, if you like riding around on a coffee table.

Yeah, it smells like the ocean!

Yeah, Ma? What is that on your chest?

Yeah, sure, Annette.

Yeah, there's something else.

Yeah, they're out there having fun ♪

Yeah, we elected him this morning

Yeah, we've polled all the seaside communities

Yeah, well, there's more of me to see.

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah, that's it.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah? Thanks.

Yeah? Well, does the expression

Yeah? Well, I'll bet I'm not mentioned in that one either.

Yeah? Well, I'll tell you what.

Yeah.

Yeah. Come on, you're ragging on my dad.

Yeah. No winners.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're asking me, Dick Dale,

Yes ♪

Yes, and he was not square.

Yes, well, I would like to say a few words,

Yes. Well, I can't stand here all day and chew the fat.

Yipes!

Yo, Webby, Webby. Dude, it's your mom.

You and I are like a love song ♪

You and your husband,

You and your people are on my beach!

You are a true genius.

You are on my beach.

You are so... stupid!

You better tell them the surf story.

You bring out rhythm in me ♪

You can have him if you want him.

You can have the place to yourself.

You can tell the men from the boys

You did the pony but you never told your mama about jail ♪

You didn't marry Spud, did you?

You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.

You get your best guy.

You got a good, clean heart. You always have.

You got any other clothes?

You got him, you won.

You got some style. This looks like it's going to be a beauty.

You got to ♪

You guys get your haircuts at the, uh, Braille Barber College?

You haven't been in the ocean once.

You keep leaving the soap on the shower floor.

You know there's gotta be the music in you ♪

You know there's peanut butter in there.

You know what they say:

You know what we'd do?

You know, a couple of coconuts, a piece of string

You know, I been thinking about us.

You know, I bet puberty would have been great.

You know, I lived with a guy for years, a real genius.

You know, I think the sport has become a little bit effeminate.

You know, I've always sort of wanted to be the bad girl.

You know, Michael, you are acting

You know, sir, putting those ships in those bottles,

You know, you look familiar to me. Have we met?

You know, you're awful sweet, Mom.

You know, you're crazy, old man.

You know? Life's a beach.

You live in Ohio. You sell Fords.

You look like you've been... Connie really dug Dad.

You look really pretty, Sandi.

You mean, she's making noise in her own apartment?

You mean, you can't remember if we did anything or not?

You missed the wave ♪

You must've slept with Sandi's mom.

You need oxygen.

You ought to try ordering a real drink, slick.

You paddle out, turn around and raise, baby ♪

You really have a lot of nice stuff here.

You really know how to talk to a gal.

You saved all this junk? Uh huh.

You see, I used to be

You sure didn't feel like singing with me, did you?

You sure have wasted an incredible pair of hooters.

You trick them, you convince them

You two still dating?

You wanna hear the rest? No!

You were never easy period. Oh, look at this baby picture.

You wouldn't be alone for a minute. Catch my drift?

You, uh...

You! Oh, yeah, right.

You'd better tell him.

You'll be sitting on top of the world ♪

You're a repeat offender ( laughs )

You're about to see why.

You're afraid of lunch?

You're Annette!

You're asking me about selling? Yeah.

You're at my friend Mountain's place.

You're going to be competing with Robin.

You're going to get killed!

You're going to just give them away?

You're gonna eat dirt from China.

You're in for a lot of trouble.

You're kidding!

You're looking pretty gloomy there, tiger.

You're making a bigger mistake.

You're not a surfer anymore.

You're not an easy guy to forget, you know.

You're not invited to this party.

You're putting me on.

You're talking about hair?

You've done an ugly thing to my board.

You've got a nice setup yourself.

Your father and I have been together a long time.

Your father wants to make up. He's sending me a signal.

Your mother and I are at the airport here in L.A.

Your shoelace is untied.

Zebra hunting on the Serengeti, right?

Zed! Zed! Zed! Zed! Zed!

2 5 6 6.

...Body move for me ♪

...Go catch some rays on the sunny surf ♪

...the largest dealership in Ohio.

...The limbo clock ♪

...your next car, but you know what?

"a rap in the mouth" mean anything to you?

"Kahuna," but that's way back in the past.

"Kahuna."

"We," you see, "we."

"Whoopsie daisy"?

"Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, did I ever leave Ohio?"

( "Indiana Jones" theme plays )

( "Jaws" theme plays )

( "Ride of the Valkyries" theme playing )

( "Wooly Bully" playing )

( agonized scream )

( alarm rings )

( applause )

( appreciative grunt )

( band plays rock music )

( band plays upbeat music )

( belches )

( bell rings )

( birds chirping )

( bites ) Aaargh! Oh!

( breathlessly ): Hi.

( breathlessly ): I'd love to. It sounds fascinating.

( cheering )

( chortles )

( chorus harmonizing )

( chuckles )

( Coffin and King's "The Loco motion" playing )

( commentating indistinctly )

( crowd cheers )

( crowd clamoring )

( crowd gasps )

( crowd yells )

( crunch )

( crunch ) Aah!

( electric guitar chord plays )

( ethereal voices harmonize )

( feline roar )

( gasps )

( gasps )

( gasps ) ( laughs )

( girls giggle )

( growls )

( growls )

( growls )

( growls )

( grunts )

( gun blasts )

( hard rock music plays )

( Herbie Hancock's "Wipe Out" playing )

( humming )

( indistinct chattering )

( indistinct grumbling )

( jet engines roar )

( knocking )

( knocking at door )

( laughs )

( laughs )

( laughs )

( laughs )

( laughs )

( laughs )

( laughs )

( laughs sarcastically )

( laughter )

( laughter )

( laughter )

( making comical noises )

( man humming )

( megaphone siren wails )

( mellow surf music plays )

( mist sprays )

( mocking laughter )

( music slow down and stops )

( no audible dialogue )

( phone rings )

( playing wild guitar solo )

( pounding at door ) BOBBY: Ow!

( punks laugh )

( rock music plays )

( rock music plays )

( rock theme plays )

( rumbling )

( screeching electric guitars play )

( ska music plays )

( slurring ): Bartender, another drink, old buddy.

( snoring, clocks ticking )

( song ends )

( song ends )

( song ends )

( song ends )

( stirring, dramatic theme plays )

( stomps foot ) Ooh! Again with the foot!

( strumming electric guitar )

( thunder crashes )

( thunder rolls )

( upbeat music plays )

( vomiting sounds )

( whispers indistinctly )

( whistle ) Let's go ♪

( woman gasps )

( yells )

( yells )

( yells )

( yells ) ( punks quiet )

( yells ): Michael!

( yells and laughs )