Main Content
Sound Added to Your Favorites Soundboard

Log in or create an account to save your favorites, or they'll expire in 12 hours

Error Adding Sound
Error adding sound to your favorites.
Sound Reported
Sound reported and our moderators will review it shortly.
Error Reporting Sound
Error reporting sound. Please use the Contact page.
Home > Bad Teacher
3 177
Bad Teacher

Bad Teacher

"Bad Teacher" is a hilarious comedy film directed by Jake Kasdan and released in 2011. It stars Cameron Diaz as the cunning and irreverent Elizabeth Halsey, a middle school teacher who couldn't care less about educating her students. While the film focuses on Elizabeth's misadventures as a morally bankrupt educator, it also explores themes of personal growth, redemption, and ultimately, finding one's true passion.

Joining Diaz in this star-studded cast is Justin Timberlake, who plays Scott Delacorte, a wealthy new substitute teacher that catches Elizabeth's eye. Timberlake delivers a charismatic and comical performance as he falls under Elizabeth's manipulative spell. Lucy Punch portrays Amy Squirrel, the rival teacher who sees through Elizabeth's facade and tries to expose her true intentions. Punch's portrayal of the overly enthusiastic and somewhat delusional Amy provides a perfect contrast to Diaz's character.

The supporting cast includes Phyllis Smith as Lynn Davies, a fellow teacher who befriends Elizabeth, and Jason Segel as Russell Gettis, the school's gym teacher who harbors a deep crush on Elizabeth. Their interactions with Diaz's character offer unexpected turns and further entertainment, bringing some heartwarming moments to the film. Additionally, John Michael Higgins, Molly Shannon, and Thomas Lennon make memorable appearances in their respective roles.

"Bad Teacher" is known for its sharp and outrageous humor, which is both cringe-worthy and side-splitting. The film cleverly mocks the education system, highlighting the absurdity of evaluations based on standardized test scores and the questionable qualifications of some teachers. Elizabeth's unorthodox teaching methods, such as showing films and sleeping during class, provide a constant source of amusement and disbelief.

The plot takes an interesting turn when Elizabeth decides to change her ways in order to win the affections of the new substitute teacher. In a quest to raise money to undergo a breast augmentation surgery, Elizabeth becomes an uncharacteristically dedicated and passionate teacher, resorting to unscrupulous means to achieve her goals. As the film progresses, we witness the internal conflict within Elizabeth: will she embrace her transformation or revert to her former self?

One of the film's most memorable scenes involves a car wash organized by Elizabeth and her students to raise money. This scene perfectly captures the absurdity and irreverence of the film, as the supposedly innocent fundraising event turns into a steamy affair with inappropriate behavior and innuendos. The witty dialogue and Diaz's flawless comedic timing make this scene particularly memorable and laugh-out-loud funny.

The soundtrack of "Bad Teacher" perfectly complements the movie's comedic and rebellious tone. With energetic tracks from various artists, it adds an extra layer of hilarity to the film. Unfortunately, specific information about the songs featured in the soundtrack was not provided in the prompt. However, one can play and download the sounds from the official soundtrack release or through various online music platforms.

In conclusion, "Bad Teacher" is an entertaining comedy that poignantly satirizes the education system, while also providing laughter and moments of self-reflection. The stellar cast, led by Cameron Diaz and supported by Justin Timberlake and Lucy Punch, deliver exceptional performances that make this film a must-watch in the comedy genre. Whether you're a fan of Diaz's comedic talent or simply looking for a laugh-out-loud experience, "Bad Teacher" is definitely worth watching or revisiting for an enjoyable movie night.

A good dicking? Go talk to those guys over there.
A retest on? C'mon.
Aaah! Wally thank you for those kind words, and thank you all.
Aah... Elizabeth, we need to talk. Sure.
About her personality that makes me see the best in me.
About her smile that I would walk a mile for.
Aces...
Adios, bitches!!
Ah, I know I've only been here a year, but there's so much I will miss.
Ah! Dry humpin' the shit out of you. Yeah, Dry Fuck the fuck outta me, Scott.
Ah? Everything okay in here? It's okay, I'm his teacher.
Ahh!! What are you doing rest of day you gonna see your family?
Ahh... Okay thank you, Amy. I'm sure everybody wants to get home so I'm gonna be quick.
Ahh... Yeah I'm gonna go see some people We're having like a big..pot luck so...
All of it.. Pretty much
All right then. See you in the maniano
Almost there.
Almost... done...
Alright folks, can we all settle down for a second?
Alright then, when is his birthday? Mom...
Alright... We'll pick this up again tomorrow.
Alrighty roo...
Alrighty, have a super awesome day, you two.
Also I have an original song.
Always believe.
Amy says "hi" Well she sure calls a lot.
Amy Squirrel, after six short years, Amy is transferring out of the district.
Amy, Do you see this beautiful little glass dolphin figurine?
Amy, hi. Hi, I got you something.
Amy, Stop that Stop it!
Amy, what are you doing here? Scott, talk to the hand.
Amy? I know...
An art form just has died.
And 17.
And a couple bucks for snacks.
And a year later, when he left my mom and moved in with his trainer...
And achieve the highest scores in the state...
And also I might be a little short on rent this month, like a lot short.
And believe me I don't mean you.
And even though I'll never teach again professionally.
And even though you pretty much stop talking to me in fifth grade... I don't care
And I ain't afraid of no ghosts.
And I know I am not perfect. But show me the perfect teacher.
And I met a guy. Oh! Tell me everything.
And I wanna single out I wanna single out one of our own.
And I was never here. You hear me? Fuck.
And I wish that I had gotten to know all of you better.
And I'm happy to announce that the... John Adams Middle School, that's us...
And I'm not gonna tell you why because, it's between me and my doctor.
And I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying that to be helpful.
And if she claims it's medicinal, I would demand to see a prescription.
And it goes out to someone very special.
And it's exactly what I told Elizabeth when she told me about this upcoming fake breasts job.
And Lauren Lisman's dad called and he said we should have car wash every weekend.
And lets not forget.. The sleeping with my boyfriend
And my fiance, he cheated on me with his sister
And quite frankly, reckless.
And the nipples... oh... I know
And the superintendent.
And then some... jail time... Jail time!
And this teacher is now $ 5700 richer.
And those... Those kids are there playing with it.
And voila. So...
And we got you a little something.
And we have a quiz tomorrow. What?!!
And when I recover from my surgery...
And you were so embarrassed, and you made me promise never to tell anyone?
Animal Farm? Sasha, that's not even on the syllabus.
Another exciting day in the Principal's office.
Any family money? Yea, you bet?
Anybody else have a problem with that?
Anybody know... anybody know any of my other nick names??
Anyone know where Danny Morebox is? Any more movies in class?
Anyone seen Stand and Deliver? Show hands...
Anyway, actually none of these really matters Umm... I sort of... started seeing somebody.
Anyways, at the orientation I suggested a new system for supervising lunch
Are just using you
Are sensitive. Yes, thank you.
Are we gonna have a problem, me and you?
Are we still on this? She's my everything.
Are you accusing Elizabeth of embezzling from the 7th grade car wash?
Are you fucking kidding me?
As you can see the weight is evenly distributed and there is minimal scar...
As your personal tutor, I guarantee personally that she will get an A.
Ask me how much I feel I'll say... a lot a co...
At Harvard, but...
Austin Market?
Awesome. It's real...
Aww... Come on. Anyone wants extra sticker on their wall star board?
B: Every couple of years we get these cockamamie charges coming in from various parts of the state.
Baby doll... I'm home.
Back to you, Wally.
Bad Teacher
Baloney. You seem... very certain a couple of days ago?
Because Atticus is always the voice of reason and justice?
Because bird symbolize freedom?
Because he... EEEH!!
Because he's a crybaby?
Because... actually I was really hoping we could be more than just across the hall mates
Before I met you...
Bhuhhrr!! Loser...
Boy, Elizabeth... You missed a boat load of stuff
Boy, I am looking forward to bringing my brand of genie energy...
Bring him in.
Bringing these magazines to school is not the way you are going to make friends, those 8th Grade boys...
But also to one of our own.
But I also use a variety of other multimedia techniques.
But I am not racist. I voted for Obama, you can quote me on that in your article.
But I just wanna say, now you're back, I just know you are gonna get your teaching on
But I stay above all that stuff.
But I'm so sad..it's because your relationship ended.
But if I see these again, I'm gonna call your parents.
But if you could just keep an eye on Morgan? My wife and I would really appreciate it.
But sadly also to say goodbye to one of our faculty members.
But she also cares a lot too.
But she doesn't care.
But still be touching the other one and then you just choose... Text book.
But then there were others like... just... Like hopeless or scary... so I... count me out.
But they're also so ferocious. So ferocious.
But they're also so majestic. They are beautiful creatures.
But when the superintendent personally ask you to work at one of the worst school in the state?
But you know in a lot of ways I think that movies are the new books.
But you seem like such a wild man Carl...
But you'd have to wait for dessert we have a real treat.
But, between four classes and planning a wedding my plate was full
But, we're working really hard.
Buuhhr! Loser.
C'mon everybody settle down
Call me when Lebron has six championships. That's the only argument?
Can I be honest with you? Of course.
Can I have your panties? I'm not wearing any..
Can I help you?
Can I tell you guys what I hate?
Carl Halabi. The state test.
Carl..I'm gonna need you to pass the fuck out.
Cause I have that.
Cause its gonna be a crazy ride.
Check it Check my urine.
Cheers.
Class dismissed.
Class dismissed. Excuse me, Miss Halsey.
Clean! Haa! I told you.
Come on Lynn, you need to loosen up and live a little. When's the last time you had a good dicking?
Come on, guys. There's a wig missing.
Come on.
Come on. C'mon c'mon c'mon...
Come on. You come on...
Come on...
Congratulations, Miss. Halsey.
Cool, see ya.
Correct... here.
Course, you know what scares me the most, Wall?
Crews announce tour for the world geography through current events, we may have a way over in civics, so buckle up
Damn it Mom! I told you I could handle this. I just want to ask her something.
Damn it! Squirrel... I am not going to have a repeat of 2008!
Desk?
Did I hear you were showing a movie this morning on the first day of school?
Did you ever think that maybe... Save it doll face you can explain it all tomorrow to the principal.
Did you find the boys okay? Was it a good drive? Great drive.
Did you find your Prince Charming?
Did you or did you not give her a copy of the state test?
Did you?
Do not do that with your mouth.
Do we really wanna tell our young people...
Do you have 10 grand? Nope.
Do you have a second?
Do you have any music Carl? I have the Internet radio.
Do you have any proof other than what one student thought she saw?
Do you have anything to drink?
Do you have anything to drink?
Do you understand?
Don't be weird, and take this off never fucking wear it again, what are u, crazy?
Don't flinch... seriously... You and you... hold his arms down.
Don't let me leave. Oh! Please don't.
Don't throw at her Throw through her.
Don't worry Amy... We'll get you the help you need.
Don't worry, you were... kind of a long bolf last year and so... busy planning the... wedding
Don't... Stop fucking with my car.
Dr. Vogel, best hands in Chicago.
Easy Easy does it, easy...
Eat, Pray, Love? This is my favourite book too.
Eh..Everything. You wanna know what turns me on?
Elizabeth Hey, Russell
Elizabeth, don't let the bed bugs bite
Elizabeth, even though you are only with us for one short year...
Elizabeth, I am so proud of you.
Elizabeth, I just want to thank you again for stepping in today, you really saved us here.
Erotico.
Ev ery thing.
Even if it made me unpopular.
Even your forehead is sexy.
Everything okay with Garrett? No, it's not
Except abortion, of course.
Extension 777.
Feels it's all happening so quickly.
Fine. It's about... your... ttt.
For I'm all about that.
For me to see one of this year's tests.
For second, an extra set of hands to make sure the implants are settling properly.
For supplies and whatever.
Forever...
Forget him, at least now you can stop worrying about him and be the best teacher you can be..
Four dogs? Four Dobermans.
Four scores, seven years ago.
From now on, my full time job is finding a guy who's gonna take care of me
Fruit Roll Up?
Fuck your scooter and fuck Marjorie.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!! What? Just go.
Fucking troll. Did you call my name?
Garrett Portman, I was a kid from an old boys school.
Garrett, why don't you run and get some of your new poetry... I don't want to hear it
Get out!
Get your ass back here.
Get yourself hot coz I'm gonna suck your dick like I'm mad at it.
Give me a nug... I'll go smoke it in my car.
Giving each other the gift of these bodies.
Go talk to them. What am I gonna talk about?
Go to class.
God damn it! And I'm hearing about this now?
God damn it! We are done here.
God I pray for that.
God, it is so hard on my salary to have to pay for my own supplies
God, you know we should go get a drink tonight I feel like getting drunk
God! Wow! Yea... these are amazing. Thank you.
God... I'm so embarrassed. Don't be shy, marbles.
Good afternoon, Illinois standard student test How may I direct your call?
Good eye
Good luck with that.
Good Now who has the answer to my question?
Good, now...
Good. Good okay...
Goods... we're gonna go get some baked goods.
Gosh! Its been such a mess this week. You know, Just working myself to the bone.
Gosh!! I never loose my keys.
Gotcha! Thanks Wally, for bringing that up.
Great kid, so pre cautious. I just wish Morgan's grades were reflected.
Great... great!
Gross...
Guess I deserve that one..? Yea, you must certainly did
Guys, c'mon settle down.
Guys, I'm really sorry I have to eat and run I gotta head over to the shelters so..
Had some fun, got some cool souvenirs But those guys are not looking to settle down
Hand him the envelope. I'm gonna need a couple bucks for gas.
Have fun. Yea, You're not seeing anyone now, right?
He thinks you're bad news. I know women like you.
He was with another man. Shut the front door!
He's an idiot. Yea, he's a fuckin' moron.
Hello titties...
Here I go... Almost.
Here is the deal man... I cannot keep sugar coating this for you.
Here we go, well its been another great year here at JAMS.
Here you go... 1%... Surprise!
Here, I'll walk you. Man..Everyone is so nice around here.
Hey can we go somewhere and talk?
Hey hey... Hey!! go to class.
Hey Welcome back.
Hey, aah!..You're not gonna teach again next year, are you?
Hey, Elizabeth. Hey Lynn, how was your summer?
Hey, Elizabeth..Listen, since Amy's transferring, maybe the two of us can start over.
Hey, guys. Heyy.
Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt you guys, but... I couldn't help it over hear your conversations.
Hey, kids. Hey...
Hey, Mr. Delacorte, yes!
Hey, they don't make songs like this anymore, right?
Hey, uh.. may be too soon, but you wanna like..grab a bite or something sometime
Hey, You better not take it for a joyride.
Hey, you in the cape You're up first. Let's go
Hey, you wanna grab lunch later? Oh! Oh sure, yea, my treat.
Hey... I'm Just trying to make conversation.
Hey... Let's do that again.
Hey... Why are they closed? It's Christmas?
Hi, I'm a math terrorist with close ties to algebra
Hi, I'm Morgans dad.
Hi, I'm Sasha Abernathy, My mother baked this cookies for you..
Hi, I'm Sashas mother.
Hi, my name is Elizabeth Halsey. Any questions?
Hi, my name is Marjarie Goodman and I'm calling from the Chicago Tribune.
Hi, there... you look like Losty MC Losterson...
His name is Simon and he lives in the Cayman Islands...
Hit her! Hit her!
Hmm... some clips, maybe.
Hold it in. Just blow it out Hold it in. Blow it out.
Hold on a sec...
Holy fuck! I thought she was never gonna leave.
Holy shit! Alright, let's do this.
Honey, happy birthday
Hopeless.
How do I know what you heard?
How does she know she doesn't like it if she has never tried it before?
How many dogs do you have? Four.
How much? $ 5700.
How would you like to pay?
Huh fuck you... fuck... You like that? Stop kicking it... You stop fucking kicking it.
Huh... no I might, I probably going to sit in the back, maybe leave early
I actually just got out of a relationship. Catherine
I already got shot on the face.
I also said no... Okay cool, well its been awesome
I am a little concerned at the importance you're placing on movies.
I am a teacher.
I am so excited we're gonna be across the hall mates.
I am the new sub. Welcome welcome.
I can't believe you let her take advantage of you like that.
I could just talk to her and tell her how I feel
I dare you. I'm not afraid of your dare, Fabrigo.
I did give her some quotes for her article.
I did, because... umm...
I do not know how to say this. I'm a kind of nervous.
I don't date coworkers. I wont tell anyone
I don't know what you heard but I don't need muff pie(vagina)
I don't know, it's just not me...
I don't know. Maybe I was a bad person in an other life.
I don't know... I like it here.
I don't know... It's the only thing I'm good at
I don't love you?
I don't think that you're Amy's type.
I don't wanna run for congress. I wanna be President.
I don't!
I find these kind of accusations troubling.
I found him hooking up with an eighth grader from another school. She was jerking him off.
I found him in bed with somebody else. Oh my Gosh.
I guess I should begin by saying that my statement from earlier in the week was not true.
I had many jobs when I lived here in New Salem.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I have a bumper sticker that says that. No way?
I have a prescription and everything.
I have been listening to you whining about opera for the last year.
I have weapons of maths instruction.
I hope you haven't spent that bonus check on anything because you're about to give it back.
I just love people who are so passionate about what they do... it's so inspirational.
I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank the guys from Period 5 for letting me join the band and.
I knew it.
I knew she'd understand.
I know right? Can you tell me where room 107 is?
I like your tits... Ask my roommate.
I love Chase Rubin Rossy. Great.
I love how his eyes sparkle when he smiles. I wanna sit on his face.
I love Internet radio.
I love you, Chase. I wanna yell it from the mountain tops.
I loved it and I usually hate poetry.
I mean if someone told me at the beginning of the year that you... 'you'... will get the bonus...
I mean not "drunk" drunk, strong buzz still be able to drive.
I mean, sometimes you talk to people and... Thank you.
I might get flown to Kansas City for their Fashion Week
I need that test!
I need you to go to this guy's office and scare the shit out of him.
I never... We're in the middle of a lesson.
I only had this once a day... If I'm lucky.
I prefer to think of it as two people with amazing bodies...
I remember the Chase that wrote me a card.
I share her with Greg across the way Greg across is actually the guy who got me into spinning.
I stole her desk. You can check my urine.
I tell you what... why don't you just send me memo and if I have any questions, I'll find you.
I think I might be worth your while.
I think it's about time you realize, that the whole world's just...
I think you're pretty great too. Thanks. It's Amy.
I thought it was poetry slam night.
I thought it would be heavier.
I thought that I was doing it for all the right reasons.
I thought the teachers were supposed to get the apples
I thought you were a nurse.
I told her, Gaby if you're not happy with yourself, you cant expect others to be happy with you.
I took off my shoes? Oh Carl...
I used movies as one of my tools
I walking on. Walking on is number 1 worst thing you should probably do.
I wanna fuck you against the desk
I wanna fuck you baa side desk
I want everyone to give a big round of applause.
I want my ring back.
I was gonna get drunk and mock them. Sounds fun, actually
I was hoping to see it sooner. I'm on a bit of a deadline.
I was just going over some stuff for tomorrow.
I was just wondering whats your plans were for the state test?
I was that hot girl, hotter... even and I would never have gone out with you.
I was thinking that I wanna get more involved.
I wasn't always president. Oh!! no!
I worked my ass off for this school.
I'll be damned.
I'll call you from the hotel. Bye, Amy.
I'll let you know, next time I go. Not that fun.
I'll probably won't go either.
I'll see you tomorrow then. Good night.
I'll take two
I'll take you there. Oh. You don't have to do that.
I'll tell you what I know... a kid who wears the same gymnastic sweat shirt 3 days a week...
I'll totally go for a talk right now.
I'll write my number down just in case you need a lift...
I'm a casual drug user.
I'm close. Don't move.
I'm crushing on someone
I'm fine... here.
I'm giving you a gift. Oh wow..
I'm going through such a tough time.
I'm gonna go find a hot dog.
I'm gonna take off my shoes, is that okay? Whatever man. I'm gonna go hit the ladies room.
I'm just saying maybe... to consider doing something else... like anything else.
I'm kind of in the middle of something, Lynn. My treat.
I'm like the fuckin Terminator dude. I'm just gonna keep coming after you.
I'm not a nurse.
I'm not kidding. It's on my car.
I'm not... you know... that is just offensive that you would even ask me that.
I'm pretty sure I'd like that.
I'm rooming with a guy I met on craigslist all I'm asking you for is 10,000 dollars
I'm serious. Okay.
I'm sorry, but if you cant pay, then I can't schedule the appointment
I'm sorry... I can't get em'... just not ready but if you're patient...
I'm starting to think that maybe we need to take a break.
I'm writing a song right now called 855 8241777.
I've been speaking to various... ah... black... citizens... who
I've been thinking about it a lot, I'm like an 8, 8 and a half..but if I got a new pair of tits.. right?
I've never been more excited about anything.
I've never seen this woman before in my life.
I've realised that I don't need a blackboard or a classroom to set an example.
If anyone has any information regarding the missing Anne wig...
If I could go back in time and undo slavery? I would.
If I know Morgan, and I think I do. Ah!... Morgan will get there.
If I think about it, Will I get extra credit?
If opera goes away, we're fucked.
If the Teacher's Union found out that I was administering a drug test to a teacher with this little proof...
If you're around, maybe we could wash your car.
In here...
Incoming...
Is anyone have anything to add to what that girl just said?
Is everything okay with Gaby? She will be fine.
Is for you to get overwhelmed...
Is it me? I mean there's something wrong with me? I don't think so.
Is this English?
Is this new? I love it.
Isn't getting laid until he's 29 that's what I know...
It is my first cracket song writing so... be kind.
It is really fun over here. Lynn, get your ass over to those cowboys.
It just feels so good to help.
It might be nice to give her a little rest.
It seem like Miss Halsey was getting pretty chummy with the money.
It starts with you. I'm sure she appreciated that.
It was not a popular opinion.
It's a nice thing you did. I don't know what you're talking about?
It's a pretty inspiring message to the kids.
It's a quadrant system
It's good to know there's still some actual educators out there.
It's like... too cute almost.
It's not a compliment.
It's nothing personal, but...
It's on the syllabus. Well... You never assign it to us.
It's over, Elizabeth.
It's so nice to see you becoming a real member of the JAMS family.
It's the only argument I need, Shawn!!
It's today...
Its a time for a little bit of talking before we really get to the important part.
Its been a year, she's still the wallpaper on my phone
Just leave me alone.
Just leave them on the desk...
Just meant friends. Tell you what, friend... I've gotta get going, cover me
Just not in my arms or my chest.
Just put it. Alrighty.
Just saying.
Just so we're clear.
Just stop talking.
Just stop talking.
Just try it... try it! Just... please stop pressuring her.
Kansas City. Stalk much?
Kids.
Know I walked in on him trying to fuck his dog? Peanut butter everywhere
Last week when we went for a drive.
Last year's car wash raised 6000 dollars
Learning is fun tastic. What did you say to me?
Lemme dat daa... Usually here, the things that they call me.
Lemme finish my drink. Now Lynn!! Second.
Let have it.
Let me think.
Let's get baked.
Let's go, We had a lot to go over. Everybody sit down, come on..
Lew Diamond Phillips?
Like any other job... in the entire world.
Like its so easy to get pregnant from some dude nutting into a condom
Like over winter break.
Like telephone charades, or this string game...
Like you did in 2008.
Like you guys... You should go talk to someone, Lynn.
Like you, with your little boobs or me experimenting with ethnic food.
Listen Carl, I know that you are a very busy man So, I'm just gonna get right down to it
Listen, I could take you day by day through my entire syllabus, but that's not just how I do things.
Listen, I don't wanna tell you how to run your class but...
Listen, I'm sure you have full paid along with a rocking hot body.
Listen, the school hired me because... i'm amazing at what I do
Listen, word to the wise.
Look at me. I'm gonna get my breasts enlarged in a couple of months...
Look you don't have to decide right now.
Look..I know you kinda skated by last year doing the bare minimum thing
Looking at it! Elizabeth gave this to me.
Looks like algebra is calling. I hate math. Wish me luck.
Lover... are you there?!!
Lover... lover look, I don't wanna fight... Its only $ 10,000... it would mean the world to me.
Lynn, will you go grab me some milk? What kind of milk do you want?
Ma'am! Please don't touch the dog. Your dog is mistaken.
Make it out to cash.
Many of us are going out tonight to see Period 5 play, Do you wanna come?
Marjarie?
Marji... I am going to rock your vagina.
Mark, I'm pregnant.
May I? Absolutely, take em' for a spin
Maybe it might be fun to try some icebreakers...
Maybe next time we can dry hump without our clothes on.
Maybe stay the end half... play by Yer or just stay the end.
Maybe there's a false bottom.
Maybe this will help. What are you doing?
Mine's metal. Even better.
Miss Halsey, its me Garette from school. It's Garrett. Having a nice Christmas?
Miss Halsey? Would you like to come and spend Christmas with us?
Miss Halsey... I'm impressed. Thanks, I've been working out.
Miss Halsey... really? Wow!!
Mmmm... Look at it.
Morgan.
Mr. Halabi, thank you for your time. Most welcome.
Much people don't wear bras. Definitely. Much teachers.
My decision that I made myself to leave was super difficult.
My fave... My favorite job was, 'Splitting rails'.
My grandfather made it, so... Oh your grandfather designs watches?
My mom and I made some holiday cookies.
My students, probably most.
Naah.. got something going. Can I say something for the record?
Nail her!
Never. You clearly have a... rich interior life with the poems and the whatever but...
Next question.
Next time you accuse one of my teachers of stealing, you better have some evidence.
Nice... Good job, guys...
No problem. Is Amy gonna be okay?
No running in the hall!
No, eli... if I gave you that impression well... ah!... I'm so sorry
No, I said fucking troll. Oh, I thought you said Kirk.
No, I'm not going back. Come on.
No, it's medical marijuana.
No, my creepy roommate moved out. So now its just... just me... and the dogs.
No, no, no that's my class. Axle's barking at the wrong tree there.
No, no... no absolutely not, no I...
No, no... that is absolutely classified Unless, unless you have one of these bad boys, right here.
No, of course not I don't even know what that is... I...
No, we're actually learning. Hey do you know Animal Farm isn't even really about animals?
No, what I see is that you are getting worked up And what I would hate to see...
Nobody's read this book?
Nothing in the face.
Now, here we are...
Now, I don't want to speak out of school but... from where I was sitting, I think...
Now... Go! I like it here.
O.
Of course, hey watch my quadrant!
Of course. Of course.
OFFICIAL PRACTICE TEST MANUAL
Oh I'm drying' the shit out of you. Oh Dry Fuck the fuck outta me, Scott.
Oh it was great. I went to the zoo almost every weekend.
Oh my God, are you okay? I got fucked up my knee.
Oh my God! Sir?
Oh Okay Take your time.
Oh Philip, hate on Christmas? Oops... Sorry, Santa.
Oh Shit!! Check it out.
Oh, hey there..Scott Delacorte. And you are? Leaving.
Oh, hold on. Shelly... Ooo Shelly, someone's got a message.
Oh, I love my summers... fresh corn... mmmm
Oh, I need some water.
Oh, Thank God. And we discovered this new Ethiopian restaurant.
Oh, there we go.
Oh, time for bed.
Oh! Friend of Marjorie? Well get then... Fuck you man.
Oh! Look, your moms here. Hi Mom, what a fun surprise.
Oh! Ooh! Yeah Meant to ask...
Oh! Stop it, be my pleasure.
Oh! Sure, I can get you one easy No problem.
Oh! You got it last time. We'll split it. Oh! Okay yeah.
Oh!! Thank you.
Oh!... You didn't get your... Your titties...?
Oh... oh tell me bout that... I think I'm gonna have another drink before I hit the road.
Oh... ok... well feel better.
Ohh... The wine is good.
Ok well, I'm really terrible at this types of thing so, I'll make it quick.
Ok, Lebron is a better re bounder and passer.
Okay fine, I'll sign the prenup.
Okay fine, I'm not actually pregnant.
Okay, If the younger generation doesn't get into opera then guess what? No more opera!
Okay, okay think. Let me think.
Okay, well... You know I have to call the superintendor.
Okay.
Okay... lemme tell you something right away A: Orientals tests better...
Okay... Let's see how Mary Tod's doing with that butter.
Okay... Lynn, I'm gonna take this.
Okay... oh!! this was fun, huh?
Okay... so that's endorsed And put the rest on these.
Okay... That's enough. We get it, you're crying.
Okay... There's a handicapped one... which is way closer use the handicapped one, its way closer
Okay..just so you know... That shit does not face me at all
On the first 100 pages.
One extra credit on your diagram, want or not? I do I want it.
One glance, one dance because together we can achieve...balance.
ONE MONTH LATER
One of nature's cruel joke I guess...
One teacher can make a difference.
Oooo... well... Glad I wore my fun underwear.
Or the wild success of
Or your money back.
Pathetic. This is why the Japs are overtaking us.
Period 5? Yeah the teacher band.
Please don't touch my mirror.
Please hold..
Please know that we will always consider you part of the JAMS family.
Please sir? What the ff?? What the fuck, who does that? I'm a friend of Marjorie's.
Please, help yourself to some delicious snacks and drinks in the back.
Please... let me know ASAP.
Plus jail time.
Plus they're really expensive, you know..per tit. Yea, and you got to get two of them.
Probably not. I think in college.
Racist, faggotron, faggy Hitler, dick breath... Okay...?
Really close.. Ready? Mmmm... Yea.
Really love with what you've done with the place.
Really that's... Congratulations I didn't... I didn't realise that so...
Really? Cause I couldn't help but notice that you're not wearing a bra.
Really? Yea.
Really? You sure you wanna do this? Yea, gym teacher.
Recess is over.
Regular mouth.
Remember, a great man always has the courage to say what is in his heart.
Remember, in the second grade when we had a sleep over and you wet the bed?
Retest!! Retest! Retest!
Russell Gettis, gym teacher We did busted together last spring.
Salary plus tips.
Sandy... c'mon... now now guys its is not a time to make silly jokes...
Sandy's so funny.
Say no more.
Scored in the top 5% of the whole state.
Scott Delacorte. Elizabeth Halsey.
Scott, I want you to know You can talk to me about anything.
Scott, your phone accidentally called me last night
See those championship banners?
See you around Gym teacher.
See, I am not a wiz' at this computer here.
See, that's what I'm talking about. Keep saying shit like that you're gonna get punched.
Seriously?
Seriously?
Seriously?
Seventh grade is not your moment. Yeah, eighth grade will be better.
Sex in an office.
Shall we toast?
Sharing those bodies with each other.
Sharks. Well sharks can tear families apart.
She drugged me and she stole from me... then she's going down.
She has such a big heart. Looks like enormous.
She in some kind of trouble? Marjarie? I think you're the one who might be in some kind of trouble.
She is a thoughtful young woman and she is teaching for all the right reasons.
She is such a phony. Yeah, major phony.
She just laughed at me and called me 'gross'.
She likes him because he's hot and popular dude. You...
She wants a guy like Ian.. What's his face? Ian Mentelbaum? The rapper?
She's been amazing helping me do with my breakup.
She's got a lot to loose going public with this.
She's never gonna like me, is she?
She's superficial and her priorities are all fucked up.
Shocker! We're having our car wash this weekend.
Shorter hours, summers off, no account credibility...
Should be fun. Should be amazing. Lynn you wanna come?
Shut up! So did you and your wife just moved to town? I'm not married
Sit your ass down!
Slavery's the worst.
So "if I play it" as the **** say.
So awful.
So I go now? Yes, you go now.
So instead of accusing her, you might wanna ask her for some pointers.
So there it is My heart honestly.
So whatever she did, worked. Lee Mathews dad called, he said the car wash was a raging success.
So you guys having an awesome time?
So you think we should hire a tutor?
So, all this is mine, by the way As far as the eye can see.
So, are you excited about your surgery?
So, are you guys coming to the palace tonight? My band's gonna do few songs...
So, basically, if I was gonna go out with you, I would be making the conscious choice...
So, call me crazy, but this might be the best Period 5 show of all time.
So, the poem's about that girl? Yea, Chase.
So, what are the limitations of having Scott as the narrator?
So, you're just gonna let her walk free?
So.. Russell, what has to go wrong in someone's life for them to end up being a middle school gym teacher?
So... Holla, fellow educators...
Someone's calling my name.
Something like that.
Something's got a case of a sleepyss.
Son of a bitch... 5700. Yea... Goddamn it! Lynn.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Wall...
Sorry, Jesus.
Sorry.
Sorry. Sit down.
Sorry... sorry I thought you were telling everyone.
Speech, speech. Well...
Squirrel? Yeah, you know.
Steven said that you spend $16,000 last month.
Still, I know that our students are in good hands.
Stop dressing like you're running for congress
Stupid point, misspelled.
Such a dingaling.
Suitcases, honey are we going on a trip?
Super fast.
Supplies?? You're Chase's parents?
Surprise me. Okay, I'll get you skim, no 2%...
Sympathy co Exotico.
Sympathy co how do you know and you know and again you just know.
Sympathy co She helped me heal, she helped me grow.
Sympathy co.
Take it. And open up... open up.
Tell me my mission again.
Test tampering? At JAMS?
Thank u Beth, but as summer droves upon us, its time not only to say goodbye to another school year
Thank you Amy, for pointing that out. You're so welcome.
Thank you for meeting me on such short notice. Of course. Sure..
Thank you Sandy, for that.
Thank you, Elizabeth, for listening.
Thank you, sir. I don't want to see anybody get hurt.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Is that Jaeger LeCoultre?
Thanks dude.
Thanks for calling again
Thanks, I love men's watches, its kind of a hobby
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks. Yea you know, some teachers just sail by doing that bare minimum thing...
That explains me, making absolutely no sense.
That if they study, sacrifice...
That shit worked!
That sounds nice.
That they're rewarded with suspicion?
That was great. More like amazing.
That was the big one Honest Abe.
That we remembered Have we ever forget.. What is that?? haaha.
That's a... Goddamn it! Sandy...
That's it!
That's just something I say sometimes. Stupid.
That's my thing, and everybody knows it. so..
That's really dangerous, Russell
That's what I would do if I were you, Wally.
That's your window be ready.
The big fake titties Are you really gonna do that?
The blasting disregard for the school syllabus.
The book drive for womens prison which Mrs. Pathacheks class sponsored.
The family business, yea my mothers maiden name is lecoultre
The HNIC.
The photographer who was like... so nice he made me feel like really really comfortable
The skim, whole, 2%, chocolate?
The Springfield trip is the best part of 7th grade...
The total is $9300 for the surgery, plus one night stay at our facility.
Then No
Then who knows one day you wake up you decide you want to be a missus.
There are even teachers in this very school who use drugs.

Viral
Funny