Just Go with It (2011) Edit

A 1920s swimming gown on, honey?

A circle?

A girl.

A little bit more, little bit more.

A little bit of children, right?

A severely diminished libido.

A shower that I was taking with Devlin.

A stolen camera?

A tie! We have ourselves a tie.

A wedding ring? You're married?

A woman named Katherine.

About these children, Danny?

About what I feel about this girl?

Absolutely. It's usually easier

According to Los Angeles Magazine.

Actually, I think you need to get the matching bag, too.

Actually, I've never connected with,

Actually, just the opposite.

Adon! Adon, Adon, Adon!

Adulterer! Fornicator!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Okay.

All 14 of them.

All a big lie that I made up.

All I'm asking you is one favor!

All right, 20 more minutes, I get to see the smile.

All right, Eddie.

All right, here we go. Everybody out.

All right, homeboy, you're up next. Let's go.

All right, I can make that happen.

All right, let go. Come on.

All right, let me go see her.

All right, let's do the old Michael hit a putt shot. Okay?

All right, let's go already. Are you ready there, Mafia?

All right, let's see.

All right, listen, just give me a minute to explain this.

All right, now,

All right, take it easy, son. Take it easy.

All right, tell him yeah.

All right, we're stuck with it,

All right, what do you want?

All right, what happened anyways?

All right, Winston Churchill.

All right?

All right. Good to see you guys.

All right. Here we go.

All right. How many cookies do we got left?

All right. How's this?

All right. I hate to rat the guy out,

All right. One, two, three, here we go!

All right. So, you gotta go to sleep.

All right. This is lidocaine. Don't think about it.

All right. You know what? I'll tell you this.

All right. You're doing great.

All the girls are sticking together. Isn't that sweet?

All you really got, you're shooting with,

Alone at last!

Also, this car's worth about 10,000 chickens.

Always had to have the coolest clothes

Am I gonna leave this girl? Look at her.

Am I hiding the secrets around here?

An hour and a half every other week

And all of a sudden run out of tokens.

And also I cannot stay away from this potato pancake.

And also screaming on the way down, I love my daddy?

And blood?

And boo!

And by a real man, I mean a man who showers.

And by body, I mean my schnitzel.

And by the way, he does play the bass.

And by the way, I created these children

And by wares, I mean my body.

And crack.

And go swimming with the dolphins

And have dinner one night.

And he laughs at your jokes. He doesn't laugh at mine.

And he writes songs.

And he's friends with Davy Who's still in the Navy.

And hopefully we're gonna have time together, right, sweetie?

And how amazing you are.

And humility.

And I can get out of here?

And I forgot she's engaged to a UFC fighter.

And I have no idea what to get him.

And I just got so tired of the kids saying things like,

And I let go. Okay, shoots right back up there.

And I love that you secretly

And I love that you...

And I love you, my little British crumpet!

And I love...

And I might even be in love with him,

And I should just go ahead and marry Danny.

And I speak the truth.

And I think to myself,

And I wanna hear back

And I want the meeting with blondie to be at J.D. McFunnigan's.

And I want unlimited tokens.

And I want you to pay for the six week intensive acting camp

And I work for Danny. I'm his assistant.

And I'm gonna jot them down.

And I've seen the way that you are with the kids,

And if it gets up to here, I'm taking my kids,

And it made you fall on your back.

And it stuck.

And it'll probably be good enough.

And it's exactly the way I always imagined my husband would be.

And it's just filled with kindness

And it's like, she's dead to me.

And it's painful.

And laughing, laughing, laughing.

And leave this, please. Thank you.

And let's get back into the show.

And Maggie's about to start a three week acting class

And moving on to the good part.

And not be called a fornicator

And not get hit on? Thank you.

And now what do I got?

And only take the stairs like Cary Grant.

And people get to swim with them.

And put them into a little...

And Seventeen magazine.

And she wants it to be kind of elope y.

And so I discovered

And so ugly.

And some lovely yellow bombers.

And start now.

And swimming under waterfalls.

And tell Omar that I would like a discount for the inconvenience?

And that is how we met. She bought a sheep from me.

And that you are feeling like you're sick and that you gotta go.

And that zucchini in the middle of his face.

And that, if the kids and I hadn't kept you so busy,

And that's kind of initiation time for you.

And the hottest boys and, you know...

And the only problem was,

And the only way I can be happy is if I'm with you!

And the Presidential at $12,000.

And the ring became my thing.

And then from the eyebrows down, dead, dead.

And then he's out.

And then marriage leads to divorce, and divorce is just...

And then some sloshing sound when I walk.

And then the boy's name's Bart.

And then the whopper, we call him, Bart,

And then you can take me out on a proper date next time?

And then you see hoof, kick, hoof, kick,

And they liked it.

And they pick the ones they want.

And two quesadillas for Kiki Sneaky With a Side of Freaky.

And walk with me to the Ladies' Lounge? Feeling it...

And we're a family. We love each other.

And we're happy for him, and...

And we're stuck with the English accent now, Ringo,

And we've been talking about how amazing this trip has been

And what are you doing later?

And what happened for me?

And what'd he say?

And when you talked about her arms getting done?

And while I'm at it telling the truth,

And who I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with.

And worry about you and them and everything.

And yes, I'd like to continue getting some.

And you couldn't think of another name, other than Devlin?

And you guys are gonna have plenty of time

And you need any... And I mean anything,

And you never expect anything back.

And you say what you love about the other. Mmm hmm.

And you wake up and realize this is real?

And you wanna swim with the dolphins?

And you were gonna like scoff at it.

And you're excited about that,

And you're gonna be back on the prowl next week.

And you've got what you call yourself

And, uh...

And... I don't know. I got tired of picking sides, so...

Anybody you've ever been with.

Anyway, something's opened up in our schedule tonight.

Anyways...

Apparently, if you bring that one up,

Are you a member of the Hilton Honors Rewards program?

Are you freaked out right now about all this or...

Are you kidding me right now?

Are you kidding me right now?

Are you kidding me, honey?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? Snuffleupagus!

Are you kidding me? We're going to Hawaii,

Are you married?

Are you ready?

Are you sure about this, Michael?

Are you?

Are you...

Ariel cut open his knee. It looks awful.

As much as I was looking forward to you, um,

At J.D. McFunnigan's with him and his whore.

At least I got my head together and I divorced him.

Aw!

Awesome! Awesome, awesome.

Awesome.

Awesome. Thank you so much.

Beautiful!

Because he is getting married to another person right now.

Because he was a 12 pounder and did some damage.

Because I could never stand a chance going up against you.

Because I didn't know, I didn't say no.

Because I texted a picture of my new equipment to my ex girlfriend.

Because I think it's important for the kids

Because I think that

Because I'm excited for all of us to hang out there.

Because it's too painful.

Because my skin is so white. I don't like to get it burned.

Because she and I are gonna have a nice, long spa day.

Because she doesn't like to get up and do anything.

Because she would win.

Because you know what? You're trying to get my kids involved

Because, Grandpa,

Before I met him, he was No Buns Bobby.

Before your mother gets back

Besides, being fake married

Between us at all...

Between you and me at the office, so...

Bing bang. An iRod, I should say.

Bing bang. An iRod, I should say.

Blonde, brunette, redhead?

Blonde, tan, tall, rocking body.

Bloody hell right, I will, Mumsy!

Boo Boo.

Boobie bags.

Bring your coconuts down to me.

Bringing me into that web of lies.

Brows gone wild over here.

But anything after '95, don't bother.

But be careful, Palmer, these plastic surgeons,

But Devlin and I are splitting up, fortunately,

But he only likes the Cotton Candy and the Peanut Butter.

But he refused to do any work.

But he was also white, if that makes any sense.

But he was the black sheep of the family,

But how 'bout I take your number

But I didn't want her to know what a loser I was,

But I don't have any money. And my mom says you're rich.

But I don't want you to see me naked in the daylight.

But I need two rooms, please.

But I think we can figure something out here.

But I want you to enjoy tonight.

But I'd leave you there, 'cause I wouldn't want to look at you.

But if I do good, can I sleep in the bed with you?

But it is a horrible marriage.

But my mom says you do charity for kids all the time.

But our job is not done.

But see that guy over there?

But that doesn't really matter at this moment

But that's what sleeves are for.

But there's two of us here now, and we're sober.

But we're gonna take one more picture, if you don't mind.

But without warning, my dad canceled the trip.

But you did? You fell for his charms?

But you gotta just hold it in

But you know what?

But, you know, it's all better now.

By the way, did you make this?

Can I do an accent?

Can I get a positive reaction?

Can I just sit for 10 seconds

Can I say something before you say what you're gonna say?

Can I tell you, I spent the eve of our wedding

Can we take a break? Do something really fun?

Can you believe it?

Can you handle that? You need a little rest?

Can't take the fish off of the hook

Children? Okay, tune out.

Close your eyes when he's on top!

Come again?

Come here and please meet Devlin and Ian.

Come on, Dolph. Let's go.

Come on, go, go!

Come on, it's like a free night.

Come on, it's okay.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, let's go.

Come on, sweetheart! You've got it!

Come on, this isn't Katherine's thing. Right, Katherine?

Come on, you did well. You did well.

Come on, you're late!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Right to the camera.

Come on. These, they don't feel like these.

Come up with something on your own.

Coming out of our hotel bathroom.

Connected the way we are right now.

Could be the kids or could be Brian.

Couple more zings.

Couple more zings.

Cuz, I'm so sorry.

Daddy is my favorite adult!

Daniel Leroy Maccabee III, my husband.

Danny and Palmer, they're getting married tomorrow!

Danny doesn't say no to me.

Danny is a big plastic surgeon.

Danny is in the water teaching our little boy how to swim.

Danny is so sweet and considerate.

Danny, come on, man. I don't...

Danny, guys always say they're gonna leave their wives.

Danny, I...

Danny, that is my jam.

Danny, that's what all married men say.

Danny! I am so happy you could be here!

Danny! I'm saying, I'm not the kid's...

Danny?

Danny? Would you come with me, please?

Danny.

Danny's at his wedding.

Deal.

Deal's off unless you eat that pizza, though. Seriously.

Dealing with his irritable bowel syndrome.

Depends who's doing it. I'm pretty good at it. I'm telling you.

Devlin Maccabee. Soon to be, single abee.

Devlin said you had to stay back and work.

Devlin, can I ask you something?

Devlin, I gotta tell you,

Devlin, I think I spoke about you with my wife

Devlin?

Devlin? Devlin as in taking a...

Devlin? Yeah?

Devlin. Oh, God. You snuck up on me.

Devlin. Thank you so much for bringing the kids today.

Devlin...

Devlin's man friendl love monkey.

Did he give you a wedding present, huh?

Did he really smile?

Did Victoria Beckham have a yard sale? Why are you wearing that?

Did you ever see her lips?

Did you get a chance to try it out yet?

Did you go over the index cards?

Did you just kick me?

Did you see Gossip Girl last night? It was so good!

Didn't have time to make any reservations,

Ding dong!

Do I got...

Do it for the children.

Do something, so we can be home

Do the Rolling Stones come and play for me while I'm in there?

Do you have any feeling in your face?

Do you have anything else you might like?

Do you know how I feel right now?

Do you mind just for one second?

Do you startle easily? That's a sign of menopause.

Do you still want to be with Danny?

Do you think this is a good idea?

Do you understand what joy that brought me?

Do you want me to knock you out, or...

Does the hotel know you took those pillows, honey?

Doing good, buddy!

Doing whatever that Rosa does.

Dolph gave mouth to mouth to a sheep.

Dolph Lundgren. Yeah.

Dolph wants to do dinner tonight.

Dolph, Devlin, do you want us to watch the kids

Dolph, let's start with you.

Dolph?

Dolphins? Hey, he loves those, right? Dolphins.

Don't be scared.

Don't buy that line.

Don't call me!

Don't do it. Don't take it off.

Don't forget smelly.

Don't pour over me.

Don't pour over me.

Don't think about it. Commit. Kick, kick.

Don't think about it. Think about your face.

Don't worry.

Don't worry. We never have fun with our real dad either.

Don't yell die.

Don't you be intimidated by her whole thing right there,

Done.

Downstairs area!

Dr. Danny?

Dr. Gervitz's office manager, if you must know everything.

Dude, why are you telling everybody about my surgery?

Eat the food. Come on, here we go.

Eat the mushroom! Eat the mushroom! Yes!

Eddie used to have an afro And pimples all over his face.

Eddie's here. Hey. My cousin.

Elope y.

Erectile dysfunction, my darling.

Even at night?

Even the slightest, investment in you

Every dirty bit of it.

Everybody be cool.

Everything I always hoped for, right, Yogi?

Everything will be nice.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Yo! What was that all about?

Find someone else then.

Fine. Who did you do?

Five games.

Five times.

Focus, focus.

Focus. Take it slow, take it slow.

For a while, somewhere?

For at least two more days, until I kill you off

For me?

For one afternoon?

For the whole thing. Are you the husband?

For the wool and stuff, you know.

For these continued shenanigans is right here.

For what you need to wear tomorrow?

For your parents tomorrow and I found...

From the local sheepherder anymore.

From the spa day in four hours?

Game back on? We gotta...

Get it up there. Come on.

Get over here, get over here. Ew!

Get the cookie. Move your feet.

Get the cookies!

Get there. Yeah, great.

Go for Dolph.

Go for the iMan.

Go, go, go!

Go! Breathe! Yeah!

Go! Go, Michael!

Go! Go! Go!

God Almighty.

God, I gotta start taking the stairs more.

God, she's in such pain.

Goes, Oh, no, I want the shy one who doesn't want to baa.

Gone out, you know, just us.

Gonna be the next Miley Cyrus, I am.

Good for her. Now I wanna be happy.

Good God, yes.

Good job, Doctor. That was really nice.

Good job!

Good job. One more day of lying, guys.

Good luck proving that in court, Wisengruber.

Good night, kiddo. Okay.

Good night.

Good, good.

Good. We're doing good.

Got a big day tomorrow, Doc, all right?

Got a hamburger here for Bart, Art the Water Fart.

Got it.

Got rid of the big honker,

Gotcha. That sounds good, that's smart.

Had a pretty nasty one, actually,

Had become a tool to get back on the horse.

Hadn't thought it through.

Hang on, hang on.

Happening with us?

Happy, happy, happy.

Has anybody got a conscience here tonight?

Have a huge heart,

Have a seat right there, Mrs. Harrington.

Have you ever thought about the time

Have you got it to your mouth yet, Boo Boo?

Have your cookie. We're gonna move on, though.

He can't swim?

He can't swim.

He didn't wanna put his fingers in the pie. Ooh!

He didn't?

He even told me that last night.

He had the biggest smile I've ever seen on anyone's face.

He had to speak now or forever hold his peace.

He has 100 of them and he never wears them.

He just seems like he's got it all figured out.

He looks like he's about to lose it, but okay.

He loves books on tape for his car.

He loves candy. Jelly Bellies. Loves them, his favorite.

He met you.

He met you.

He plays bass, don't he?

He promised me last year that he would take me to Hawaii

He said he's never gonna settle down,

He said, I gotta make a Devlin.

He still may be in love with you.

He wants to punch me in the face.

He was going sheep crazy, I'll give you that.

He was so sweet.

He what?

He'd go to the bathroom,

He'd slide right in the toilet.

He's a man of very few words.

He's a plastic surgeon, and he's one of the best

He's always glowing when you're around.

He's American.

He's gay?

He's got it!

He's great. He's the greatest guy.

He's just been asking me if

He's laughing, he's laughing. Oh, okay.

He's losing it.

Hell, no! No, no, no!

Hello, Palmer.

Hello! There he is, Danny!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? No, he's dead.

Hello.

Hello...

Help! Is there a veterinarian in the house?

Henderson!

Her name's Devlin?

Her parents aren't coming in

Here we go.

Here we go. Yes!

Here you go, kid.

Here, let me just pull it down for a sec.

Here's your putters. Bing.

Hey, Adon. Yo, yo.

Hey, guys, how we doing?

Hey, hey, hey. Take that in the car.

Hey, I think we forgot napkins.

Hey, I want you to feel comfortable

Hey, I want you to feel comfortable

Hey, man, I'm Brian.

Hey, man, we gotta stop these squirrels.

Hey, sweetie! What's going on? What's up?

Hey, what're you guys doing?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! What're you doing?

Hey. I want that car.

Hey. This is Daniel.

Hey. You went with a limo driver?

Hi, Doctor!

Hi, everybody! Dolph.

Hi, guys!

Hi, you guys.

Hi!

Hi.

Hi. How are you?

Hi. Yeah. Glad you called.

Him! Him! He's not a vet, but he sells sheep for a living.

His name is Brian.

His office was in, like, a warehouse.

Hmm, really? Because when we were in the Napa Valley,

Hmm?

Hmm? Hmm?

Hmm...

Hold on a second.

Holy Devlin, you're not listening to me.

Holy Devlin! Ow!

Honey, are you okay to hang out here with fake Daddy?

Honey, come on. You can share anything with us.

Honey, I want you to meet someone.

Honey!

Hoof, kick, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa!

Hot and sweet!

How 'bout Charlie Choo Choo's

How 'bout her?

How 'bout you, young man? Do you like Hannah Montana?

How about a Playstation 3 and we name him Nelson?

How about Big Country in the corner?

How about I beat him up?

How about if she texts you, would that be good?

How about the look on her face

How about this little girl? Let's make her night. How about it?

How about we do one over here?

How about you and me,

How are you doing, sweetie?

How are you gonna deal with that?

How bad his ponytail stinks?

How do I pay for it?

How long have you two been married?

How long you been married?

How much are these? $1,700.

How obsessed you are with this guy.

How tall do you think that guy is?

How would you like to be my pretend children

How you just do everything for everybody else

How're you gonna teach me so quick?

Hurricane Katrina could do something, baby.

I agree.

I always call it making a black pickle.

I am a sheep shipper.

I am just waiting for the money for the ticket.

I am not going to be the other woman!

I am so happy we are doing this, Danny.

I am still trying to work out how you cheated.

I am such an idiot!

I am takin' an acting class this summer, I is.

I am the Dolph. Willkommen. And you're very beautiful.

I am.

I can't believe I let a six year old blackmail me.

I can't believe you're doing all of this just so you can get some.

I can't get her to eat anything.

I can't get it up here.

I can't just drive them off a cliff. You know?

I can't see in these things.

I can't, I don't have time to work out.

I can't.

I cannot stand that face.

I couldn't.

I destroyed a marriage!

I did? You really did.

I did. And the tweezer.

I did. She what said?

I didn't bring the Botox. I brought my cousin, Eddie.

I didn't catch her.

I didn't know you came to places like this.

I didn't know you had that many teeth.

I didn't sound like that.

I didn't. That's what happened.

I do charity work like I fix a cleft lip or a child's deformity.

I do not date married men.

I do not need to do any of this. I'm fine.

I do, yes. I am that.

I do.

I don't believe that just happened.

I don't even understand what this is.

I don't have time for guessing.

I don't know about that,

I don't know about you guys, but I am gonna go cool off.

I don't know anything.

I don't know what that is.

I don't know what's wrong with him!

I don't know, a real thing.

I don't know, but listen,

I don't know, I...

I don't know, maybe I should just keep it like this.

I don't know.

I don't know. Either that

I don't need you to get me a ring, Danny.

I don't really feel like swimming right now.

I don't take them to Hawaii. I could get arrested for that.

I don't think any girl at any age.

I don't think she was the only one who brought them.

I don't understand. Why would you say yes?

I don't wanna be like playing Skee Ball

I don't wanna hit home runs, just some singles. That's all.

I don't wanna say mine.

I don't wanna wait.

I don't want to! I have to go.

I drive a Honda. Still have dial up internet.

I feel bad for the Soul Patch now.

I filed a long, long time ago.

I forgot to flush the toilet before I left the hotel.

I get nervous around this girl.

I get the kids... I had them today.

I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4.

I got a business card in my pocket if you wanna get that.

I got another disease. Okay.

I got it.

I got one for you. Shut up!

I got you two quesadillas 'cause it's your favorite food so you have to eat it.

I got you. But you're sunburned?

I gotta take a crap.

I gotta take a dump.

I graduated med school

I guarantee you're an actress.

I guess you could call it that.

I guess.

I guess.

I had to do something to amuse myself

I have been looking everywhere for you.

I have clothes, by the way.

I have to go get to those little munchkins.

I have two kids that I love

I have two kids.

I have two kids.

I heard you and Danny had sex.

I invented the barking hand.

I just assumed after we got married she'd stop hooking, but...

I just can't picture you guys on a date, you know what I mean?

I just don't know about plastic surgery.

I just love...

I just need to hear it from her.

I just never pegged you as a kids guy.

I just think it's a little over the top, but...

I just think that my spaghetti wasn't loving

I just think you're a really nice person and I really like...

I just took out of the oven.

I just trust you more than anybody in the world.

I just trying to learn.

I just wanna start my life with you.

I just wanna stay in the game, Danny.

I just want to explain something to you.

I just wanted to see how you'd react.

I just, I like to adopt,

I knew you two would eventually find each other!

I know how wrong it is. But I can't.

I know if I do this that...

I know you can't. Don't do this for me.

I know you got real stuff going on with your family.

I know you're sorry.

I know, and she's gonna be

I know, but I just bought them.

I know, I just...

I know, I know, that's really romantic, isn't it?

I know, I know. I'm just saying is it...

I know.

I know.

I know. I do.

I know. I got like 55 teeth.

I like it. Keep the mojo going.

I like it. That's my girl. Okay.

I like that you need me. How's that make you feel?

I like what I see.

I love her shoes.

I love the way you smell.

I love those kids

I love you guys!

I love your sense of humor.

I love your, uh, stories.

I mean, doesn't it always look so fake?

I mean, don't we have something extra

I mean, I hear you're the best, Dr. Maccabee.

I mean, I like g****y, but not overly g****y.

I mean, I'm serious.

I mean, it's like, Barbie and...

I mean, look at him.

I mean, look at these poor kids.

I mean, look at you two.

I mean, this has felt special from the moment that we met.

I mean, what does it matter what I think?

I mean, you two had a real connection.

I mean, you would think...

I mean... And even though it did not work out

I named my kids' poop after you.

I need to meet her.

I need you to swim to Uncle Eddie.

I need you to take her as far away from the hotel for the entire night.

I need your help, because I need a winner.

I never get my heart broken again.

I practically took a Devlin in my pants when she asked me.

I promise you it is going to be

I really feel like I'm gonna be sick. I can't...

I really hope that you can be there tomorrow.

I really just need to start fresh, you know?

I really love spending time with you.

I said we have to go to Hawaii earlier.

I saw a show on the Discovery Channel.

I saw my shot and I took it.

I see, I see.

I signed us up for the all day adventure tour.

I smell perfume.

I smell something. You smell something?

I start looking out into the Pacific,

I still want my Danny to be happy. Oh, look at that.

I stopped asking that question a long time ago.

I swear to God, I could see myself ending up with this girl.

I swear to God.

I switched my specialty from cardiology to plastic surgery,

I think he's wearing my underwear.

I think I saw some dolphins around here.

I think it's so adorable

I think it's the guy from The Omen.

I think Kiki slipped.

I think old Mary Poppins with the,

I think she has the best lips I've ever seen.

I think so.

I think that's enough. Do you feel that?

I think that's great.

I thought I'd make a change and, yeah, move out to LA.

I thought it was a car accident.

I thought it was he asked you to lunch

I thought you'd be excited to have an acting job.

I told you I didn't want to see you.

I told you I was going to lunch with him.

I told you that this whole fake marriage thing

I took to the streets to sell my wares.

I wanna climb Palmer Mountain,

I wanna punch you in the face.

I want a flying pony.

I want one of those.

I want to create the illusion I had a hot first wife.

I want you to take me to Hawaii

I wanted to go to your cousin Danny here,

I was going... I was going to...

I was gonna tell her, I really was.

I was just letting you know you dropped your purse.

I was looking for you guys at...

I was maced one time.

I was never married to him.

I was the apple of his eye.

I was the apple of his eye.

I was... Were you under...

I will deal with you when I get home, young lady. Okay.

I will work when I am kaput.

I won best smile at our sorority

I would create a fake family for that. Oh, my God!

I would have done it for $500.

I would have done it for the experience.

I would have loved if my parents had done something like this

I would like a tall glass of you.

I would want to, you know, replace him.

I'd get it for you myself,

I'll be better when I start seeing some tokens.

I'll bring my glass to you.

I'll do my own hair and makeup.

I'll get my rubber duck and see you in a sec.

I'll give you two chickens for it.

I'll kill you.

I'll see you in a minute, okay? I love you.

I'm a huge kids guy. I love kids.

I'm actually digging it.

I'm actually starting to feel not so hot. Is it warm in here?

I'm alive! I'm alive, everybody!

I'm also an inventor, just like you.

I'm clean and sober and I apologize.

I'm fine.

I'm getting married!

I'm glad someone's doing good.

I'm gonna do it the same way my grandfather taught me.

I'm gonna do something transcendent.

I'm gonna do this hula thing.

I'm gonna kill that guy. He's lost it.

I'm gonna suggest swimming.

I'm gonna tell them I'm married to a woman

I'm happy with who I am. I choose me.

I'm just gonna sit in my room

I'm just happy to hear that his thing a ding can still ring a ding.

I'm just kidding. Unless you're really into it.

I'm just looking forward to getting past this part of my life

I'm just playing the part.

I'm just saying you gotta look like a plastic surgeon's wife.

I'm just saying, telling the truth

I'm just very shocked that you remember

I'm kidding. I'll get you a fake mustache.

I'm not kidding you.

I'm not leaving here. What would I tell Palmer?

I'm not that.

I'm not the one who should feel the pressure.

I'm not trying to get some. I already got some.

I'm pro me getting some.

I'm ready.

I'm selling you out and I'm going home.

I'm so glad you got your teeth fixed. Much better.

I'm so happy you picked this dress, Veruca!

I'm so nauseous. Okay. Bye.

I'm so sorry. I've not introduced myself,

I'm sorry to put you through this.

I'm sorry, we're leaving. I can't do it. No.

I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean.

I'm sorry. This is one of my foundations.

I'm squeezing.

I'm sure there's blood.

I'm sure you didn't meet the lady who gave you that ring

I'm telling you, she's happy with this Dolph guy,

I'm the soon to be ex husband.

I'm trying them on as we speak.

I'm trying.

I'm very sorry.

I've been here almost two years.

I've gotta take this.

I've gotta write out a bunch of index cards

I've heard from a lot of men that I serve

I've known the guy forever.

I've never hung out with a girl your age and

I've never hung out with a girl your age. This is nice.

I've seen him do that with the soap.

Ian and I are breaking up.

If it's an acting job, we should get paid.

If it's so bad, why don't you get divorced?

If someone says something, just go with it.

If you could be one person besides yourself,

If you don't take the elevators

If you get there without touching the bottom,

If you know what I mean.

If you know what I mean.

If you touch the coconut, you are disqualified.

If you were deformed, I'd bring you to Hawaii,

In a meat market like this.

In case a heel breaks or I just want to cuddle.

In fact, when I say thank you, I don't know, do you hear that or not?

In my acting class, when someone says No in a scene,

In the bathroom one or two times, right?

In the meadows, and what have you.

In the shower. Right?

In your dysfunctional, sick little, pathetic, twisted web of lies.

IPod, what's up? How are you?

Is he gonna take you there right after the big protest?

Is it a bad night? Are you two fighting?

Is it? Oh, my God.

Is not in the cards right now.

Is she not the sweetest?

Is that a car alarm?

Is that coming from you?

Is that her?

Is that my associate, Dr. Doolittle?

Is that possible? Meow!

Is that what your grandpa gave you?

Is the guy from Dateline NBC gonna walk in?

Is the perfect way to make sure

Is there something wrong with us?

Is this a Halloween party?

Is this him?

Is this where the blue Avatar people live?

Isn't Cabernet really g****y?

Isn't that a shitty name? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Isn't that how things work? We alternate?

It could be a deal breaker.

It don't smell, particularly...

It must move all the way up to their mouths

It really has been first class.

It really isn't.

It seems to make other people happy.

It starts my day, that smile.

It took Grandpa eight hours to teach us.

It took my friend a whole summer to learn how to swim.

It was a benefit for the rainforest.

It was a nightmare.

It was all giggling and chasing butterflies

It was all giggling and chasing butterflies

It was getting dangerous. This amount...

It was so cute.

It was weird, right?

It's a kind of Ziploc baggies that I got online.

It's a side effect.

It's a thing all right, Palmer.

It's a travesty.

It's all gonna be okay. Come on.

It's amazing und very far away. Yeah, it's good.

It's an awful lot of guessing coming through this phone.

It's bad luck for the ex to be at the wedding.

It's bloody breathtaking out here!

It's cute.

It's Dolph.

It's dull, it's dead, it's flat.

It's gonna be one afternoon.

It's gonna be so much fun. I was just telling the squirt.

It's gonna get caught in your hair.

It's gonna take more than a minute.

It's got a couple dents. I'm not gonna lie.

It's got... From this doll I made.

It's her drug dealer I'm thinking.

It's important for the children

It's just a friend of mine who was in my sorority in college

It's just been a while since I've been in heels, sorry.

It's just gross. You're just pathetic.

It's just like...

It's like a Hawaiian Rosa, huh?

It's like a syrup dispenser at an IHOP.

It's like it never happened. You know?

It's like my first night alone with the girl.

It's mine. It's my favorite.

It's my favorite college Devlin!

It's my Precious.

It's nice to meet you.

It's nice to tell the truth. That's good.

It's not even here anymore! It's gone!

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's really...

It's something I like to call Coconut Smoochie.

It's something we do whenever the other leaves.

It's the beard, man.

It's the last time, I swear.

It's tough.

It's weird, she gets me very tense.

It's, you know, very Madonna.

Jeez. Oh, God. Devlin.

Just do it, but just do it far away from the hotel.

Just get this one dinner with me so I can save face

Just give us the most expensive bottle you have

Just got reamed. I mean, I got the rooms.

Just in this one spot right here.

Just keep 'em coming. Okay. Ooh!

Just to keep up with these lies.

Just wanna be able to be with you

Just, things could get weird

Katherine Murphy, look at you!

Katherine Murphy?

Katherine was in the room when I did that.

Katherine, this is my husband, Ian Maxtone Jones.

Katherine!

Katherine? How about you?

Katya! Yuri, Mrs. Hwiggins!

Keep going, Michael! Don't give up!

Keep kicking. I'm here if you need me.

Keep talking.

Keep the car running, shan't be long.

Keep your eyes on the river, sweetheart.

Kick it! Go!

Kick, kick!

Kidding again. No, I'm not.

Kids, kids, kids. Is...

Kiki Dee, who came out at nine pounds four ounces.

Kiki Dee?

Koko! Kiki! Kiki!

Last night, with the ass grab of the coconut,

Legendary like the day you were once sober. So...

Legendary? Never heard of it!

Let me count the ways.

Let me explain something to you.

Let me give you a hug.

Let me hear you.

Let me just bring it up to you.

Let me just talk to this guy.

Let me practice. You be her right now.

Let's do it.

Let's do this.

Let's go eat. Okay, show's over. Let's go.

Let's go get you some water, honey. We'll be back.

Let's go! How do I win this thing?

Let's just get married. Right here.

Let's just laugh at something I say, because I'm a funny dad.

Let's just look right in the camera. And we're having fun.

Let's not kid anybody. How about over here?

Let's pick up the tempo, boys.

Let's play the game.

Like the guy from Rocky IV?

Like we're the happiest family on earth.

Like, overcooked spaghetti.

Likewise, really.

Listen, Dr. Gervitz is moving his practice to New York City.

Listen, Dr. Maccabee would never accept subpar boobs.

Listen! I am married.

Listening to what sounded like an underwater symphony,

Little bit of a red flag.

Live at the Index Card.

Look all you want, but you and I both know that

Look at that, sweet!

Look at that.

Look at that. I don't wear...

Look at that. That's terrific.

Look at us, Katherine. Both so happily married. I mean...

Look at you. You can't live without me.

Look at you. You're grinning, you can't stop, what is that smile?

Look what he's doing! What happened? I can't see.

Look, how cute. Looks like Babe.

Look, I don't know who you're seeing,

Looks pretty tall, I'd say he's like 6'3.

Loves it. Doesn't use it.

Maggie just hit the ball, but you followed through too much

Maintenance, maintenance.

Make that a dirty martini. Okay?

Make that two pictures. Maggie.

Make the milk. Yes, he makes the milk.

Make them big.

Married, flattered. Thanks. Where's Danny?

Maybe a paper route or something like that?

Maybe I'm upset.

Maybe we could have a little me and you time?

Maybe you should make your own money.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe.

Me!

Me!

Mention that slop hole again and I walk.

Michael, the crap is the stinking...

Michael, you're up. Opener?

Michael!

Mix that with the smell of like a dead cat and some fajitas

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm. She's on your side, what a shock.

Mmm hmm. Yeah, two, actually.

Mmm hmm. Yes.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Happy Father's Day.

Mmm. Thank you, Laurie. I agree.

Mmm. You run a tight ship at home, huh?

Mom, before we go, can I make a Devlin?

Mom, give me some money.

Mommy! That man put his pee pee on my face!

More than anything in the world, Guv'nor.

More than anything in the world.

Move your arms! Yeah!

Mr. DeCesare.

Mrs. Harrington, could you put your hands on your hips, please?

Mrs. Harrington, this is numbing cream for your nipples, okay?

Mrs. Harrington...

Mrs. Maccabee.

Muffinstein, I could not stand to be without you.

Mumsy, please do come in.

Music. Loves music.

My back. I slept on the beach last night.

My boy! That was terrific, buddy.

My father cheated on my mom when I was young.

My God, Devlin, this is such a relief

My gosh.

My hand's right here right now.

My kids? Have you completely lost your mind?

My kids? Have you completely lost your mind?

My little Oompa Loompa.

My mother always said Cary Grant never went to the gym.

My parents divorced.

My parents' house costs $1,700. No, no.

My sister in law in an hour!

Named Devlin Adams, and...

Nice to meet you, Eddie.

Nice to see you, kids.

Nice, nice.

Nincompoop!

Nipples.

No hope. Okay? There's only one word for it.

No kidding you didn't think it through.

No love connection?

No matter what, you're a good man, okay?

No more sob stories.

No negating.

No one can!

No way, that was you, buddy.

No, but do you feel that?

No, but you've made some terrific suggestions

No, Grandpa gave us something he'd call a Heineken.

No, honey, I'm good.

No, I get you.

No, I understand why we're doing this.

No, I wanna be with those guys like 23 hours a day.

No, I was distracted by something.

No, I was distracted by something.

No, I'm already eating. I just wanna hang out. Ow!

No, I'm not.

No, I'm not. I like it.

No, I'm saying you should sit on her lips.

No, it's Piano Dan.

No, no, a different Dolph Lundgren.

No, no, I just...

No, no, I mean, why?

No, no, it wasn't 'cause of you!

No, no, no, he's...

No, no, no, hey, hey.

No, no, no, I'm not, I'm not married.

No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm saying that did not...

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. I'm actually the girlfriend.

No, no, no. It's coming from the elevator.

No, no, no. You don't have to do that.

No, no, not my... Her speed. Not mine.

No, no. Just, please help me, Doctor.

No, no. Um...

No, Palmer!

No, she's not like that.

No, some pictures of us having a great time

No, that's a clean pick up right there.

No, that's great. Tonight's gonna happen. Yeah, perfect.

No, that's the pills that...

No, they don't. They go online!

No, this girl's had nothing done.

No, we just, we're delighting. We're just fine.

No, we're not doing anything fun, man.

No!

No! Die!

No! He made his money suing the Dodgers

No! I know you two a long time and Rosa's here.

No! No, I'm good. I'm good.

No! We're not fighting.

No? No what?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. But, seriously, are you available for my kid's birthday party?

No. Did you? You kicked her?

No. Get outta here. Was I jealous? No.

No. I just was having fun teasing you.

No. I like Californication.

No. I mean, no one will say no then.

No. It's okay.

No. Mmm mmm. Nothing.

No. No, no, no.

No. No, that was bad.

No. Okay.

No. So there's nothing?

No. Stick with the dolphin cookie.

No. They had them last night. It's our turn.

No. What?

No. Why? You've got a great private room.

No. You kind of played with me a little bit, though.

No. You seem to make my dad happy and that's cool, but...

No. You seem to make my dad happy and that's cool, but...

No... Seriously?

Nobody got cheated here tonight.

Nope. I'm telling you, is this girl not cute?

Not from a human.

Not little Bucky here.

Not with your hands, you buffoon!

Not without your veil, you're not.

Not yet.

Nothing smells as good as Devlin.

Nothing?

Nothing.

Nothing. I wouldn't do a thing to you.

Now look like you're in pain.

Now that you've been out with a real man.

Now, Michael, lay down.

Now, people go on. They see the pictures of the sheep,

Now? Yes!

Nuh uh.

Number two.

Of all of you, so mature.

Of course you do.

Of course.

Of course. A lot of homeless men have said this.

Of French horns and bassoons

Oh, baby, you're like a Pop Tart,

Oh, boy.

Oh, come on. Like she's intimidated.

Oh, Danny, I would feel terrible for you if I had any,

Oh, don't feel any pressure, Katherine.

Oh, Father, I just love spending time with you!

Oh, God! Okay, I gotta...

Oh, God! That's so... What?

Oh, God. Sorry.

Oh, good. Okay, hold on.

Oh, gosh. I forgot. You're fifteen.

Oh, great.

Oh, he didn't invent shit.

Oh, Henderson, you thoughtless oaf,

Oh, here it is.

Oh, I think I left it upstairs.

Oh, kill me now.

Oh, man.

Oh, me, yes.

Oh, my God, Devlin Adams.

Oh, my God, I can't believe this.

Oh, my God, I ran into Sandra Wernick last month.

Oh, my God, why are we leaving the hotel right now?

Oh, my God, why are we leaving the hotel right now?

Oh, my God, you've really, really not thought this through.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Dolph, let her breathe!

Oh, my God! Go, Go!

Oh, my God! Gorgeous!

Oh, my God! It's just...

Oh, my God! These are gorgeous!

Oh, my God. That was the greatest night of my life.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my hand's right there.

Oh, my! Ladies and gentlemen, off come the floaties!

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, not at all.

Oh, no, not Murphy anymore. Leroy Maccabee.

Oh, no, you don't! She's like a shark. Come on.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Your first lie to me.

Oh, shit on me.

Oh, sorry, I'm kind of seeing anybody else. There you go.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yes. No, the hotel says

Oh, you're disgusting.

Oh!

Oh! He's still alive!

Oh! I've neglected to introduce you to Danny,

Oh! Palmer! I didn't...

Oh! That would be almost like a dream of mine.

Oh! There he is.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Come on, hit that. Why'd you leave me hanging so long?

Oh. How about the Verite Cabernet?

Oh. Oh, okay.

Oh. That's too bad. You should join.

Okay, 'cause some secrets are coming out, all right? Some adult ones.

Okay, all right. Calm down, calm down.

Okay, all right. Here we go. Eat some food.

Okay, but... Look at this.

Okay, bye bye.

Okay, bye!

Okay, bye.

Okay, come on, let's go, you asked for it.

Okay, Danny.

Okay, Devlin.

Okay, fine, I'll do it,

Okay, good luck. I'll see you in the morning.

Okay, here we go! Hi, yes! Wee!

Okay, his name is Silas, leave him out of this.

Okay, I got an idea.

Okay, I think we got it. You bad.

Okay, I'll see you at 1:00 in the lobby.

Okay, I'm confused right now.

Okay, let's go. To your dorm.

Okay, listen, my tolerance

Okay, okay. Oh, gosh. Okay.

Okay, please put her on the phone right now.

Okay, see? That shouldn't be happening right now.

Okay, so Swiss Family nightmare is coming with us.

Okay, so, one of the funbags is not having too much fun.

Okay, that was a good one.

Okay, that's good. Is that good?

Okay, that's it. Laugh louder, louder.

Okay, then I would like them in blue, too.

Okay, uh, so, are you all set

Okay, yeah,

Okay?

Okay? This is the one word

Okay? You're a big boy.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Bring it over here.

Okay. Congratulations, though.

Okay. Here's the money, and I want change.

Okay. Is that possible?

Okay. Name something that makes you sad.

Okay. No one taught you how to swim, huh?

Okay. No one's supposed to crap as much as you do.

Okay. Oh, my coconuts.

Okay. Papa!

Okay. She's not like that, but anyways.

Okay. Slow.

Okay. So...

Okay. Stop that.

Okay. This is a lot faster.

Okay. We want to advance a little, though.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Yes. We're so ready.

On the count of three, one, two, three.

On the Gossip Girl nowadays?

On the sidelines, so don't judge her, honey.

Once he catches it, so he just collects it.

One o'clock...

Only took the stairs, every day, never an elevator.

Ooh, the Mafia stare down. Very good, Michael.

Ooh!

Or a science explosion, just something.

Or an adulterer or whatever that.

Or Captain Kirk. Either one.

Or is he not good enough?

Or standing with the dolphins because you can't swim.

Or they buy the sassy one,

Our mailman? Why?

Our mother tells us everything.

Out of the iPod guy right now.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow! My gosh.

Palmer Dodge, this is Devlin.

Palmer forgot her camera in the room

Palmer met some tennis player her own age on the plane ride home,

Palmer took them out for ice cream.

Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer.

Palmer, so lovely to meet you.

Palmer, so nice, seriously.

Palmer, trust me, there is nothing between me and Danny.

Palmer! Hi.

Pathetic, huh?

People really do that? That is hilarious!

Perfect!

Perfect.

Perfect. Anyway, see you tonight!

Piano Man? Why Piano Man?

Piggyback times are magical times, aren't they?

Pizza. Deep dish. Three pieces.

Please be polite and say hello to Dr. Maccabee.

Please come this way!

Please, honey, it is fine.

Please, it feels like a car door just slowly shut on my soul.

Please, you have to do something!

Please.

Pleasure.

Plus overtime if we go over eight hours.

Pretty good for everybody.

Pull up. All right. I'm so low.

Put the hanger up your nose.

Questions?

Rachael Ray, because I've always

Real nice.

Really, I would never have guessed this.

Really, really. Look around,

Really?

Really?

Really? Okay, he's ready! He's ready to rock!

Really? There could be black pigs in there.

Really? They don't?

Really? Why?

Really? You're gonna get undressed?

Really? You're really sorry about this?

Reassuring her of all the fun we have together.

Reconstructing my face,

Relax, relax.

Remember that?

Right now, I know.

Right there! Reach for it! You got it!

Room one, Kirsten Brant. Don't laugh.

Room one, Kirsten Brant. Don't laugh.

Rosa lets us watch Showtime when she calls her boyfriend.

Sadness. Bart, you're up.

Saying, Go for the iMan... Yeah.

School cafeteria.

See if you can find someone decent looking.

See that? Did you ever read that magazine?

See you on the 28th, Dr. Maccabee!

See you out there.

See? I can tell when you're lying

See? So she picked up a slight accent.

Seeing the man who invented the iPod, on the iPhone,

Separate the Cotton Candy and the Peanut Butter

Seriously, Flomax.

Seriously, I need you. What are you doing? No.

Shark attack!

She ain't going to sleep.

She and I went to college together.

She has got a real fetish

She held the magnifying glass.

She likes the pills, this one.

She likes to shave the sheep

She looks like Karl Malden.

She loves the schnitzel, you know what I mean?

She really wears that bikini well.

She takes spinning classes like they're M&M's.

She talks the talk, who will walk the walk

She took some out of her mother's bureau.

She was not.

She's a single mother. It's a disaster.

She's beautiful and she's... I'm not twenty three.

She's been working on some accents.

She's good, she's very nice,

She's just a natural beauty.

She's not you.

She's stunning.

Sheep Fight Clubs?

Should've known this doctor was a quack.

Sis.

Sitting on the bed,

Six years.

Smells good. Come on, let's go.

Smells like kids' feet and like skidmark underwear.

So boom, that's in the hole.

So commit to it. Don't choke, got it?

So easy. I'm a plastic surgeon,

So he popped and he poked 'em And Clearasil soaked 'em.

So here's the deal.

So I can swim with the dolphins.

So I'd like to introduce you to, the one and only,

So I'm gonna have a surprise for her

So if you wanna get your money and your acting classes,

So our mom doesn't know that you took us today?

So she's gonna have two surprises.

So that you guys can have a little alone time?

So that's it. You have nothing else to worry about.

So what do you say we get rid of these kids?

So why don't you just get yourself some sleep?

So you didn't?

So you guys play that game that we always love to play,

So you mean like a moonburn or...

So you're the bird what's been given Daddy the ol' slap and tickle?

So, Al Jolson, you mind jumping in the water

So, Bart, your dad tells me you like to go to the bathroom.

So, broke and penniless,

So, can you just focus for a few more days?

So, chief, tell me, what do you do for a living?

So, Danny, you're a plastic surgeon.

So, Danny's birthday is next week,

So, give me some fake hugs right now and laugh real loud

So, guys, we're here to get to know each other better.

So, how was the wedding?

So, I told him if he wanted to stop the wedding,

So, I told them that it was called making a Devlin,

So, I'm halfway done boozing away my sorrows,

So, I'm marrying him

So, I'm taking the rap for this.

So, kids, I just got off the phone with your mom

So, one night, I was just having a glass of wine.

So, tell us, what happened with Eric last night?

So, this is a cabana you guys got yourselves here, huh?

So, today, you know, with Dolph pushing me in the pool.

So, we were wondering if you and Danny

So, we're gonna leave right now.

So, we're standing on top of this beautiful cliff.

So, what are we doing?

So, what do the people do with these sheep?

So, what line of work are you in?

So, where did you two meet?

So, where's Danny?

So, yeah, I'm a single mother.

So, you fell down the stairs, huh?

Some have them as security for the house.

Some of my patients are here tonight. Oh, really?

Someone on the phone for you.

Someone's on the phone for you.

Sometimes I think about

Sorry about this, by the way.

Sorry. Okay, go.

Sorry. You're a pig.

Squirt got to swim with the dolphins.

Stay there. Wait.

Still gets the flag up the pole,

Stinks.

Stop putting your ass in my face.

Stop texting, open that door.

Stop!

Stop!

Stranger danger.

Successfully banging 23 year olds.

Sure.

Sure. Down the hall. Will you please go with him?

Swimming. I hope you mean skinny dipping.

Take the stairs. Take the stairs.

Taking? From what I see...

Tall fellow is lucky to get away.

Tell me she is not listening to 'N Sync.

Telling me anything.

Ten years. Eight.

Terrible side effect from all the pill popping.

Thank you, Devlin.

Thank you, God.

Thank you.

Thanks. Happy to be here to help you.

That 'N Sync broke up.

That bridge can only handle one person at a time!

That coconut getting in the way tonight.

That counted as a me day

That I love the most that you fixed your teeth.

That I went to lunch with that guy.

That is funny.

That is not...

That Judi Dench has never won the Oscar for Best Actress.

That just really went right up there.

That makes a lot of sense.

That my mom can't afford.

That really bothered you

That she's actually gonna walk into your office... Uh huh.

That smile is the magic.

That was a ten! A perfect ten! Yay!

That was awesome. Way to go!

That was good. That was really fun.

That was high. You gotta watch that.

That was me, Danny Maccabee, 20 years ago.

That was my voice.

That was not nice, but it was the truth.

That was pretty good. You liked that?

That was raw and real and in the moment.

That was so much fun last night.

That you actually ate the food that I am paying for.

That you and I have ever

That you can swim with if you pay money.

That you might've had the time to do something

That, to me, was like watching Dr. Kevorkian kill himself.

That's a big tongue, big tongue.

That's a strong muscle right there.

That's based on your life. It's a little Eddie remix.

That's good enough for me right there.

That's good to know.

That's good. That's funny.

That's great. We both win. Good...

That's it.

That's my Boo Boo!

That's my boy! Yeah, buddy!

That's nice.

That's our Bart.

That's relaxed? Hmm.

That's right.

That's so nice. See what they do, they fight,

That's so we can bond?

That's terrible.

That's too much. I'm sorry!

That's what I'm talking about.

That's what those guys do, you know?

That's what you need first. We'll fix this.

That's when I finished my Girl Scouts.

That's why I was thinking we should have the man come.

That's why we're here, the dolphins.

That's your stepmom. I can talk like that.

The babysitter fell asleep.

The big E. Love the Shuffle, by the way.

The boy was distracted. That's why he fell.

The children.

The coconut is in their midsections.

The coconut.

The distraction, I'm guessing.

The doctor will see you now.

The finest meatballs in Southern California.

The first rule of improv is always accept the information.

The four of us should get together

The girl who, of course, is Kiki Dee.

The good news is she's beating the hell

The guy made it through an entire lunch with a woman

The guy with the gray soul patch?

The guy with the gray soul patch?

The idea just came to me in the shower.

The juggling was the highlight for me.

The kid looked like he won the Heisman Trophy,

The lady from Saw?

The meatballs that was being served.

The most wonderful day of your life, guaranteed.

The nicest person I've ever met.

The one I love was not with me.

The one ringy dingy?

The opposite of freaked out? What do you mean? Good?

The pig is eating my body!

The power of the wedding ring.

The sheep lives! The sheep lives!

The symbol of my humiliation

The television show Cheaters caught her and the guy.

The third. Anyway, so it was great to see you and meet you, Ian.

The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.

The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.

The truth is fun, isn't it?

The Waldorf Astoria at $8,000 per night

The water's as lovely as Westminster in May.

The whole class yells, Die!

The women, they stick them in their flat chesties,

Then I want a regular pony. And I want to name him Nelson.

Then they make up and it's good.

There you are.

There you go!

There you go. Thank you.

There you have it. We have ourselves...

There's another guy, yes. Dolph.

There's another man?

There's only one problem. She's not you.

There's only one problem. She's not you.

There's still time. Let's go.

These are not the boobie bags that I ordered.

These are two of the hottest chicks

They actually burned the tape so you can't see it.

They already took too much fat out of your arms,

They baa, all you hear is, Baa, baa, baa.

They do a lot of horseplay

They don't have what this guy's got down there, you know what I mean?

They have this lagoon there with dolphins

They never do.

They really know how to operate.

They said that wasn't a good time of year for Merlot.

They say in Hawaii they have dolphins

They serve room service in the hallway.

They were horrible, I agree.

They'll eat anything, you know.

They're like an inner tube and I just wanna sit on it.

Think about it as if

Thirteenth step, right there. Back to drinking.

Thirty years ago you did.

This is a good moment.

This is fixed!

This is fun!

This is getting serious!

This is how we settle ties in my house.

This is like not some bull Devlin fling.

This is one of my best friends from my sorority.

This is really where we're eating?

This is the real Devlin. I could...

This is what I did. You saw this. Yes!

This is what you bought for me.

This is what you're gonna do.

This is, like, from a long time ago!

This one gets really angry, so don't.

This way, this way!

Thought about spending all my money, though, didn't you?

Three years straight, right, Katherine?

Throw this straight in the air. Make it look like...

Throwing the ring into the ocean.

Till you get to the mainland again.

To do these things right the first time, but...

To fight each other in the Sheep Fight Club.

To have good symmetry in the family unit.

To my website, gotprettysheep.com.

To see us as a unit.

To spend with your dad tomorrow

To swim with the dolphins.

Tonight?

Touchdown!

Touched it down.

True 'dat, Ernesto. Right on the money.

Trying to get me a little jealous, weren't you?

Trying to provide for her, her shopping addiction,

Turn around. Tell me if this fits.

Two chickens, that's very nice of you, but...

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh. Busy being an idiot.

Uh huh. That's a lot of auditioning for you.

Uh huh. You asked for this.

Uh oh!

Uh, what's the matter?

Uh, yeah. I've banged it up.

Uh... Yeah, you told her about that?

Um, Danny, you don't need my permission.

Um, I wear this fake wedding ring sometimes...

Um...

Um...

Um...

Unfortunately, we only have our suites left.

Upset about me and your father dating?

Upset about me and your father dating?

Use every crevice you can. Don't be afraid.

Very convenient for you, Katherine.

Very good. Okay, you know what? We'll take them.

Very long time. A very long time.

Very nice!

Wait a minute.

Wait, where are my kids?

Wait! Wait!

Wait. What?

Waiter! Excuse me. Anybody?

Want me to numb something else for you?

Wanted to know how to cook.

Was there a skateboard there, or...

Water's too deep for what?

Water's too deep.

We are playing Bavarian pool rugby and now I'm in the lead.

We are sleeping together!

We can't just say it? We gotta look at each other for this thing?

We couldn't wait to start creating lives.

We did it twice, yes.

We did? Okay. Well let me get the napkins.

We do the sheep dance, right?

We do this thing called sheepstenein.

We don't know. Grey Goose martinis,

We don't need him in our lives.

We go and get the dinner tonight?

We going in deep, y'all.

We got a couple things that I know how to do!

We gotta go back. We have to run. It was great to see you.

We have ever had up here.

We have sort of a little bit...

We have talked on the phone, but I am the Dolph Lundgren.

We have the flowers, the music and the location,

We have to get back to our kids. So...

We just, we met at a concert.

We open in five minutes and I am not having him sit there forever.

We say what we love most about the other.

We sent her to boarding school last year in England.

We want to live and dance more, yes.

We were doing so good with the game.

We will. Soon. Tonight.

We won't really be needing them anyway.

We'll give you a dolphin cookie.

We'll have to give it to the Smithsonian

We'll include four video games.

We're almost done. Home stretch.

We're getting a divorce.

We're getting deep.

We're going to Hawaii!

We're gonna go hiking in the rainforest, and kayaking down rivers

We're gonna swim with dolphins.

We're here to fake having fun.

We're here to negotiate.

We're just here for dinner.

We're just, you know,

We're not going to Hawaii, pal. Anything else?

We're okay. It's fine.

We're okay. We're okay. It's fine.

We're ready for the legendary Oceano's Hula Competition.

We're sorry.

We've got a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner.

Wedding ring boy.

Welcome. I am Tanner Patrick, Jr.

Well, don't get him a tie.

Well, everything turned out

Well, for starters, he's gay.

Well, guess again, Doc. I teach sixth grade math.

Well, hello.

Well, I have to get to work,

Well, I hit it with the car door yesterday... Right.

Well, I wanna meet them!

Well, I was thinking for tonight,

Well, I wouldn't say friend. I'd say more my nemesis.

Well, I, uh... I had bad plastic surgery.

Well, I'd like to start off by saying

Well, I'm finally wearing my wedding ring for real.

Well, in Hawaii, you never know with the sun.

Well, it is a pleasure meeting you, Kiki Dee.

Well, my dad's supposed to, but he's busy.

Well, of course he did. The iPod.

Well, Palmer, I am in sheep.

Well, so, Palmer.

Well, that was a major setback.

Well, that's why we came out here, right?

Well, then, that's a shame.

Well, this is different.

Well, we have purple pills, and the green ones

Well, yeah, in the wind, man. It's flapping around.

Well, yes! And that's why I'm going to eat every single bit of it.

Well, you just look absolutely beautiful.

Well, you know he's not divorcing you.

Well, you're not gonna have to worry about that.

Were good to go for dinner.

What about just hang out platonically

What about me? What would you do to fix me?

What about the iPod?

What about the other hour?

What about you, Bart?

What am I supposed to say to her all night?

What are their names again? There is

What are their names?

What are these?

What are we looking at?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you talking about? She was nice.

What are you, in character right away?

What distracted you?

What do I do? How do I sign it?

What do I got over here? Anybody?

What do you expect me to do about it?

What do you mean, no?

What do you mean, what do I think?

What do you mean, you went to lunch with him?

What do you think, 40 feet for 40 cookies?

What does he write songs about,

What else do you like?

What happened? How was the dinner?

What happened? Settle, settle.

What happened? What'd he whisper to you?

What if I was deformed? Then would you take me to Hawaii?

What is he doing?

What is that?

What is that?

What is that?

What is this from, my Liebchen?

What is this?

What now?

What promise?

What voice was that?

What was that?

What, you got a date or something?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Anytime!

What? No.

What? No.

What? Oh, my goodness!

What? The wedding?

What? What happened?

What? What is that?

What? You got a bathing cap, too?

What? You seem dubious.

What's ED? I don't...

What's going on, sweetie?

What's her name?

What's her name? I got panicked.

What's the tiebreaker?

What's the tiebreaker?

What's this?

What's wrong? You're walking really weird.

Whatever they want! Sky is the limit.

Whatever!

When are you gonna strengthen your spine?

When do you ever watch Californication?

When I feel it, I do it.

When I told him we could do it at J.D. McFunnigan's,

When I was negotiating with your son, Michael,

When my dad doesn't have time for me.

When my dad doesn't have time for me.

When she gets back from the spa.

When something pretty interesting happened.

When they got divorced.

When we've done the operation. Terrific job.

When were you planning on telling me

When you said you might be in love with me?

Where is that bad boy?

Where is your hand right now?

Where were you going?

Where were you guys?

Where's your wife tonight?

Which is ha wowie, by the way, you're gonna love it.

Which is perfect.

Which of course is short for Barto.

While this one sat on the throne for hours

Who are you talking to? What are you looking at?

Who doesn't beat me, doesn't cheat on me,

Who never had time for a wife.

Who said it was a date ever?

Who wants to go to the beach?

Who wants to start drinking?

Who would you be?

Who? The Tanner guy? I don't know.

Who's 'N Sync?

Who's like, Hey, I see you, baa, baa.

Who's up for some warm up exercises?

Whoo. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it this evening.

Whose girlfriend?

Whose wedding ring is in your pants, Danny?

Why are they $1,700, they made outta panda?

Why are we always laughing?

Why are we making such a big deal out of this?

Why did I know that...

Why did you wake me up?

Why don't you just leave her?

Why don't you just tell her the truth?

Why don't you just tell that poor girl the truth?

Why is she talking like that?

Why not? We're in Hawaii. Let's do it tomorrow.

Why would he do that?

Why would you think that?

Why?

Why'd you kick her?

Will you take me to Hawaii so I can swim with the dolphins?

Wish I could say the same.

With all the pills that are in your system.

With ED. Over here.

With Eddie tonight? Have some dinner?

With the actual Dolph Lundgren.

With the first name Devlin before.

With the one I love.

With this horrible, heinous human being.

Without making up a fake life.

Without reading a book. Just relax.

Without the use of their hands.

Would you be quiet?

Would you just put her on the phone?

Would you please just get me what I ordered

Would you stop it?

Wow, you wanna go to lunch sometime?

Wow! That is unbelievable.

Wow! These are... Oh, geez.

Wow.

Wow. I am about to start my life

Yay!

Yeah, all joking aside,

Yeah, all right, Adon. All right.

Yeah, all the way over. See if you can clench this.

Yeah, and you're gonna make me copies, too. And one more thing.

Yeah, aren't they? You're warping my spine now.

Yeah, baby!

Yeah, do it, do it for me.

Yeah, game over.

Yeah, hi! We sure are.

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, I don't... I... Yes. I... I have leg spasms.

Yeah, I think I should.

Yeah, I was, uh, just checking flights

Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad.

Yeah, it's a very good one. I should know, I installed it.

Yeah, it's okay.

Yeah, just a little bit, just tweaking, tweaking.

Yeah, no, I'm not doing this tonight.

Yeah, no, sushi would be groovy.

Yeah, right!

Yeah, share.

Yeah, she's really cute.

Yeah, that Tanner.

Yeah, that's asleep.

Yeah, the blue Avatar people and I think that black pig.

Yeah, the wedding... Just the whole Palmer thing.

Yeah, we are. But what do you think?

Yeah, well, she got about five pairs of them.

Yeah, why didn't we try this truth telling thing before?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my thing. That's my bumper sticker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're gonna get paid in experience.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah. And then we had a few drinks.

Yeah. Doesn't that say something

Yeah. I have to be alone.

Yeah. I just, you know, I mean...

Yeah. I think.

Yeah. Okay? Are we ready?

Yeah. Should we go make it last,

Yeah. That was rough on all of us.

Yeah. The second thing I said was the truth.

Yeah. They hurt less when they get thrown at your head.

Yeah. This feels like it could be...

Yeouch.

Yes, and we get to know each other,

Yes, hi.

Yes, I would, Mrs. Maccabee.

Yes, I...

Yes, in my expert opinion, that sheep is dead.

Yes, right?

Yes, um...

Yes, we should. We should. We'll try that later.

Yes, well, that's why we're getting a divorce.

Yes, yes. Something to drink, madam?

Yes! Here we go, one more time.

Yes! They go on the Interweb,

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. All the sheeps, they get together.

Yes. Come here. Come on, let's go.

Yes. Come here. Come on, let's go.

Yes. Dolph has zero dollars.

Yes. Good.

Yes. I am so sorry, I had...

Yes. I was looking at the canyon.

Yes. If you want me to stay,

Yes. It was choking and so I gave him sheep P R.

Yes. They can go long, but... It's okay.

Yes. Well, that, yeah.

Yes. Yeah.

Yes. You have the best clothes that Old Navy sells.

Yes. Your hotness basically pushed him down the stairs.

Yikes, that hurt.

Yo, I guarantee you fall!

You and... There's nothing?

You are a surgeon.

You are just the same glorious Devlin that I remember.

You are the only real thing I've ever had in my life.

You asked for this. Trust me.

You better call.

You better not just, just leave me hanging.

You better start doing things right from now on.

You brought that for these guys or is that for you?

You came to the right place. No one gets divorced in LA.

You can beat him up with me. It'll be fun.

You can do whatever you want.

You can knit yourself some socks

You can knit yourself some socks

You can look that good

You can take the brassiere off, too.

You can't do that to me.

You can't say no. You can't say no, Guv'nor.

You cannot touch the coconut.

You could've told me that earlier.

You couldn't.

You couldn't... You wouldn't have been able to handle it.

You decide how brightly they shine tonight.

You did.

You do? Well, I don't!

You do. You can't say that, Danny.

You don't think it's crazy?

You don't think Katherine knows about this?

You dropped your purse.

You get very excited when you talk to this man.

You glanced at them?

You go ahead without me.

You going to New York?

You got a lunch? Who you got a lunch with?

You got more tricks that I don't know about?

You got panicked?

You got this.

You gotta look into that Pepto Bismol or something.

You gotta slow it down.

You gotta squeeze out another log?

You gotta work out more than once a month.

You guys are so...

You guys have to come in, the water feels magical!

You guys have your own beds and it's our time!

You guys should try it.

You guys wanna come take a look at the balcony?

You guys, come on, seriously. Ernesto, can you just, please

You guys, I'm getting married!

You guys, look at this!

You have kids?

You have kids?

You have to call me.

You have... You have children?

You just hurt me.

You know every secret about me.

You know how I feel about

You know so much about him.

You know that I love kids.

You know this is kidnapping.

You know what I mean? And just, like...

You know what I'm saying, homeboy?

You know what I'm saying? They are my pride and joy.

You know what she'd wear well? Dental floss and a pirate hat.

You know what, I think that was the first time

You know what?

You know what? I could stitch him up.

You know what? I don't really wanna be anyone else.

You know what? I hate you right now.

You know what? I think Mommy's gonna explore the magical waters.

You know what? Tongue feels a little dry.

You know what? You don't wanna get serious,

You know what? You're disgusting.

You know what's so crazy is that I have never met anybody

You know, and here you are, and your name's Devlin and...

You know, I feel very good about it.

You know, I think this is so great

You know, it's like, I want that one.

You know, it's very stylish. You know, it's a stylish one.

You know, people, they don't buy the sheep

You know, some have them as pets.

You know, their dad was supposed to pick them up today.

You know, this whole situation reminds me of a song.

You know?

You look each other in the eyes

You look great.

You love it. You give milk to the baby.

You mean her first name? Her first name is Devlin.

You mean Sexy Ass?

You might've heard of him. He invented the iPod.

You must play the trumpet or something,

You need Brian, the guy from Foghat, around here.

You need to put this wedding band on a true heart.

You poor guy.

You see, before you, I had meself a father.

You seem nervous, Danny.

You selling your brother's stuff on eBay.

You spout crazy nonsense for hours in Eurotrashenese.

You suck at everything!

You sure he's gonna go along with that?

You the audience, judge and jury.

You think I can tell her the truth?

You think I'm an actress?

You understand?

You wanna get outta here?

You wanna hear my impression of Cary Grant's butler?

You wanna see where it is?

You were getting me so upset,

You were right, Soul Patch is going hard on that bass.

You who invents a fake wife every Friday night?

You will never look like you again.

You'd probably like her. She's really, really fake.

You'll lose him.

You're a pig.

You're angry at yourself

You're British?

You're getting a little nutty over there.

You're gonna be dead soon. That's the good news. Okay?

You're gonna be fine.

You're gonna get sick of this hottie

You're gonna tell them that you ate a bad sauerkraut omelet for breakfast

You're good. All right.

You're in the gang, I think.

You're just messing with me?

You're killing him!

You're laughing, but I'm a concerned father, so I'm like,

You're lucky that coconut was there.

You're mean!

You're not a whore, Palmer.

You're not gonna let that one go, are you?

You're paying her enough for this, right?

You're right. You can't tell her the truth.

You're so bad!

You're so clever. That's so silly.

You're so horny! Yeah.

You're the judges.

You're the one who picked up your cell phone.

You're the ones who wanted to come here

You're the only person I've never lied to in my life.

You're too sweet.

You're trying to throw darts and you just...

You're very close with me, and you think I'm funny, and...

You've been thinking about doing?

Your beauty, your drive, and your womanhood.

Your creativity, your bravery, and your taffy nipples.

Your hair is so messed up, I don't even...

Your honesty, your fearlessness, and your tickle spot.

Your mother's presenting her in a weird, weird way.

...I try to finish strong. Always entertaining.

$12,000 a night? Mmm hmm.

A bottle. A bottle.

And a bam. Thank you.

and when you're telling the truth. Oh.

Can you act professional? Yes, sir.

Come here! Listen. What?

Come on! Just a little bit more!

Devlin. Yeah.

Did I? Oh... Yes.

Did you see the look on her face? Yes.

Do it for Da da. I love my daddy.

Don't bail on me right now! Don't make that face at me.

Don't say that. Absolutely gross.

Eddie is your fault? No, no, no.

Engagement rings? Yeah, you heard me.

Get the dolphins. Bye, you guys.

God, she's freaky. Yeah.

Good night. Good night.

Good to meet you. Bye! Thanks. You, too!

He put his face on my pee pee. Danny!

He was a no show? Again.

Hell, yeah. Let's do it!

Hello? Yeah, man!

Here you go. Thank you.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Encore, man. I'm just kidding. Stop.

His back went straight to his legs. No kidding.

How are you, baby? Did you bring any Botox?

I don't know what you're talking about. Cary Grant?

I don't know what you're talking about. Cary Grant?

I don't know who. Okay.

I don't think... Yes! Absoshnutely!

I get it. It is long and it's gross.

I'll do it! Oh! Good show!

I'm gonna go get a divorce. Good luck.

I'm gonna kill you. Come on. You need me, though, right?

I'm gonna leave you two. Okay.

I'm saying he's the one. I don't think it matters.

I'm serious. That was serious stuff. It's so true.

I'm sorry. Oh. Sorry about what?

I'm sorry. I thought... That's fine, that's fine.

Invented it. Pleasure. I heard.

Is that even possible? Yeah.

It's beautiful. You sicken me.

It's Palmer. So?

It's your Christmas bonus. Oh, really?

Katherine, I can't go. Okay? Why?

Katherine! Oh, Devlin.

Let me hear some. 'Ello!

Making a what? I don't say that.

Michael! No, it's fine.

My 4:00 here? Yeah.

My Yogi Bear. My Boo Boo.

No way, we can't go. What?

No, honey, I'm not gonna do that. The what?

No, put it away. Sorry. No, stop.

No. We're good.

Oceano's. Seven o'clock. Oh, no...

Oh, my God! It's lovely!

Oh. Yes.

Okay, he's losing it. Okay, good night.

Okay. That was fun. Good job.

Out loud? Good. To others. No.

Really? Oh, she's darling.

Right now. Okay.

See, that's a good one. All right.

She bothers you. A lot.

She really is. Sweetie.

Snip, snap. Chip, chap. What are you talking about?

Sting. Yeah.

Swim! Swim! Oh, my God!

Take it. All right.

That's a shame, don't you think? Oh.

That's how we do it. Oh.

That's really nice. That's big. I like that.

They were a little too lumpy. Oh.

This is Palmer Dodge. Aloha, Palmer.

Walk away. Yeah. You know what?

Watch. What?

We have to. Not everyone can do it.

What did I tell you? Uh huh.

What does that mean? Uh...

What? Okay? Come on.

What's going on? What is that? What do you use?

What's the hold up? You still got that perfume on, huh?

when I was in the eighth grade. Mmm hmm.

Where? The pig.

Whoops! Okay.

Why do you keep calling me Henderson? Just go with it.

Why don't you go get me my bag? All right.

Wow. She's out deep.

Yeah! Oh, stop!

Yeah. You did?

Yes, ma'am. Thank you, Simon.

You are? Yes! It's over.

You did? Yeah.

You do? Mmm hmm.

You know what I love? Mmm hmm?

You look fantastic. Oh...

You want me to be your wife? Uh huh.

You. You.

You're battling diabetes, remember? Huh?

You're on. Okay.

You're so... Not this!

...and I heard a pop

...and sees that I'm your assistant\receptionist?

...Grandpa Ken.

...that was like watching Ronald McDonald

'Cause he's got a serious small issue

'cause I caught her cheating on me with another guy.

'Cause I'm actually starting to...

'cause it's right down the street from me.

'Cause she just looks good.

'cause when you get serious, that leads to marriage,

'cause you got us into this whole situation.

'cause you're making me feel all horny and stuff!

'Course.

'Ello, Dr. Danny.

'Ow is you today?

$1,700? What, do you come with them?

$300 and a three week class.

$50 for the day and a two week acting class at the YMCA nearest you.

$500 and a four week acting class.

$600 for the day,