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Home > Get Smart (2008)
Get Smart (2008)

Get Smart (2008)

Get Smart (2008) is a hilarious action-comedy film based on the popular 1960s television series of the same name. Directed by Peter Segal, the movie brings to life the iconic characters Maxwell Smart and Agent 99, portrayed by Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway, respectively. The story follows Maxwell Smart, a bumbling yet enthusiastic analyst at the secret agency known as CONTROL, as he teams up with the beautiful and capable Agent 99 to stop the evil organization KAOS from executing their diabolical plans. Packed with witty dialogue and outrageous action sequences, Get Smart (2008) delivers all the spy-comedy fun that made the original show a classic. You can enjoy the sounds and download them right here.

A box of kittens, time to punch Max in the face.
Absolutely, I love cats.
Access denied.
Access denied. Access denied.
Actually, I think you would suck as my teacher.
Actually, sir, we do. He is in Russia.
Aftab, how is your coffee?
AGENT [O VER RADIO]: Hey! CONTROL assholes who just stole my vehicle!
Agent 13, you are in a tree.
AGENT 23: Absolutely, Chief. I'm with 99 on that one.
AGENT 23: Can I see that a second? Yeah.
AGENT 23: Got it, Max. There is one other entrance.
AGENT 23: Larabee. Yeah.
AGENT 91: Give it up, 23! It's just you and Maxi pad against the six of us.
AGENT 91: Okay, new guy... LARABEE: I got this.
AGENT 99: Freeze.
AGENT 99: I gotta say, Max...
AGENT 99: Max, hurry!
AGENT 99: Max, I can't reach my reserve! Do something!
AGENT 99: Max, where are you?
AGENT 99: More guards. We'll have to figure out a way in.
AGENT 99: Mr. President, if I could just please show you some data, you'd agree...
AGENT 99: No, that's not possible. No, no, no. Max said that...
AGENT 99: Oh, he's not my date.
AGENT 99: Stop hanging on me! MAX: Never! Stop it!
AGENT 99: Stop it. It's just a storm drain.
AGENT 99: Thanks for the help.
AGENT 99: Thanks, Chief.
AGENT 99: There's our little KAOS bakery.
AGENT 99: Wow, impressive.
AGENT 99: Yes, it is.
Ah! Hey, it's Fang.
Ah. Are you flirting with me?
Ah. Take number.
All right, fellas. 20 dollars if you hit the car.
All right, look, Chief, I'm your best guy.
All right, Maxie.
All right, our mission is clear, people. Find Krs...
All right, so do I have to do it exactly like that?
All right, that's it! When we get back to Washington, you morons are through!
All right! All right! I'm out!
All these stupid agents will be obsolete.
Although he did have a certain rugged quality that some find appealing.
Although there is yellow cake cake here as well.
Although to be honest, I'd be doing the sighted world a favor.
Am I invisible?
Am I wearing boxers?
And don't you forget it.
And I got to be with you.
And I hear we're getting a new cappuccino machine.
And I'm going to enjoy it.
And if you skip a meal, the next meal you overindulge.
And that was a human tooth.
And that's a slow death.
And they do not like it.
And this day will not include me blowing into your mouth.
And what is that ungodly smell?
And what is with the briefcase? Could that actually be the football?
And who might this be? Siegfried?
And yet...
And you don't need.
And you know what, I'm done with this. Stop!
Answer what?
Any double agent who escapes from a high security holding situation...
Any more questions?
Anyway, I found out that the office is in the guest house.
Anyway, last night at a private dinner...
Apparently not.
Are you crazy? If I can't pull my chute, you'll die too!
Are you staring at my butt?
Are you sure Maintenance fixed that?
Around the world our people are under attack.
As a former field agent, I'm very much aware...
As do many KAOS agents. Cafe Minsk Pinsk in Smolensk.
Ball sack!
Because at least for a little while, I got to live my dream of being an agent.
Because he has been sleeping on the couch for three days...
Because they are under a great deal of stress.
Before that. Did you say flamethrower?
Being reprogrammed. Top secret. Need to know.
Big people feel pain too.
Blank? Brilliant.
Blue team, check for access violation at quadrant three, sector seven.
Bread?
Brilliant, Max.
Bruce, I will smash you in the face.
Bruce, Lloyd, what happened?
BRUCE: Chief, they're headed southbound on l 47.
BRUCE: It takes like eight of these morons to do what Max did.
BRUCE: Turn around slowly.
BRUCE: We're the true guardians of freedom and democracy.
But how exactly do I get them to take it?
But I have to agree with that son of a bitch.
But I'm the only one here.
But if we have what we want, why burn the building?
But not anymore. I'm ready for duty.
But the train...
But there is still hope.
But you will never get the smell off...
By the way, I reviewed the security tapes from the explosion at the bakery...
Can we put a pin in this, please...
Can you imagine Max as an agent? Little suit, little shoes.
Careful, this one's tricky.
Careful! No, no.
Case closed.
Chief, he's heading southbound on Grand.
Chief, I need your help.
Chief, we can't stop the car! We have the football, but we do not know the code!
Chief, you said that you and I are alike.
Chief, you wanted to see me?
CHIEF: All right, are we done?
CHIEF: All right, here's what we know.
CHIEF: Can you hear me? AGENT 99: What did you say?
CHIEF: I'm very disappointed, Max.
CHIEF: Let me at him!
CHIEF: Max, there are millions of lives at stake.
CHIEF: Max, we're running out of time here. What are you talking about?
CHIEF: Okay, we have reason to believe that our security was breached by KAOS.
CHIEF: Okay. Let's get started.
CHIEF: What? Are you kidding me?
CHIEF: With all due respect, the CIA knows nothing about KAOS.
CHIEF: Yes, they do.
Chief! I hit you in the head with a fire extinguisher!
Chief?
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Come here.
Come over here and we'll play a game I like to call:
Comes with tweezers, pliers, a tiny magnifying glass.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Access denied.
Congratulations.
CONTROL has to be in charge here.
CONTROL was disbanded at the end of the Cold War.
Copy that.
Could you come back this way?
Credible? Come on. KAOS has been defunct for 20 years.
Dalip takes his full strength. Why?
Damn it to hell.
Damn it. How have you gotten away with this for so long?
Damn it. I can't get into their system. Biometric security.
Damn.
Darn it, I have gum on my new shoes.
Despite today's setback, I will at some point become a field agent...
Did I hear something?
Did they explain to you how your belt buckle works?
Did you see that face he made? Scary.
Dignitaries from around the world have gathered.
Do we want kids?
Do you ever think before you speak?
Do you have another one of these?
Do you just punch people in the face willy nilly?
Do you know why? It is because you keep leading.
Do you love her?
Do you see him?
Do you understand? Okay.
Does he?
Does this one also have smallpox?
Doesn't anybody read my reports?
Doesn't he know bones are crunchy? Who'd want a crunchy pudding?
Don't beat yourself up. You'll be dead soon anyway.
Don't do it, Fang.
Don't look at me. I'm no one.
Don't love me.
Don't turn around, don't turn around. Use your peripherals.
Don't worry, sir. I'll be well clear.
Don't worry, sir. They won't get pa...
Door secure.
Easy, Durat! This stuff is radioactive.
English? But you understand Russian? Very impressive.
Even hotter. Much, much hotter.
Every time I look at Max's puppy eyes, I'm a goner.
Everyone here can be replaced.
Everything's fine.
Exactly. I have no interest in a real football unless it is signed by Joe Montana...
Excuse me, violent sky marshal.
Exploding dental floss. You don't have this? Hm.
Facts became known, identities were compromised, and I became a brunette.
Fear.
Federal marshal, you're under arrest.
Field agent test results are due.
Finally. My name is Siegfried, and I represent KAOS.
Finding Krstic will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
First package away.
First thing I'd like to know is...
Fish scaler, a saw, a flamethrower, chisel, a wire crimping tool.
Follow me, Mr. Shpilkes.
For future reference, I usually prefer briefs...
For the moment, KAOS retains the bomb activation codes...
For the record, I never actually used the word ready.
For the security cameras.
For threats against Hawaii, press 2. For threats against Puerto Rico...
For threats against the continental United States, press 1.
Fortunately, we have other options.
Free rugelach?
Freeze!
Freeze.
Fricking agents, man.
Game over when I say it's over.
Game over, Chatty Cathy.
Gentlemen, when we argue, the terrorists win.
Gentlemen, you're the best.
Gentlemen.
Get back in the plane! You're gonna kill yourself!
Get back to work.
Get it in the truck, and let's burn this place to the ground.
Get me an infrared satellite scan.
Get me an infrared satellite scan.
Give me the phone.
Go, go, go!
Go.
Going free bird is not exactly ideal.
Good idea.
Good morning, men. No, offense, Karen.
Good night, cow jumping over the moon.
Good night, moon.
Good, Dalip, it's decaf.
Good.
Good.
Goodbye, Mr. Smart.
Got it.
Great.
Great.
Gum!
Guys, you have to believe me. I am not a double agent.
Hang in there. Don't cry, don't... Please don't cry.
Hang on!
Hang on! We're going in!
Have you kissed other men who plummeted to their deaths?
He didn't unjam the copier.
He does that.
He was lying, Max. It was a good shot.
He's a funny son of a bitch, isn't he?
He's just a local horse groomer I hired to drive me around.
He's nibbling. That's not cheese!
Hello, Max.
Her sister's such a bitch.
Here it is.
Here we go.
Hey, grandpa, I already told you...
Hey, Larabee, 91.
Hey, Max. We got you a lovely parting gift for your first mission.
Hey, new guy. Hold up a second. Welcome to CONTROL.
Hey, Smart. Happy birthday.
Hey, what was that?
Hey! Dumb guards!
Hi. Hi.
High intensity lasers. Whatever part of you does touch gets sliced.
His head looks like one of the Easter Island heads.
How are we gonna do that when our agents are compromised?
How can you think that I am a double agent?
How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
How did you get here?
How did you know he was radioactive?
How did you know that would work?
How is your muffin?
How is yours?
Hybrid Mechanical Intelligence Entity. Basically a robot.
I added an insk at the end, made it sound Russian.
I already have boyfriend.
I am a CONTROL analyst. Who are you?
I am a master in the art of Hwa Rang Do.
I am going to dance now.
I am not proud of what I just did.
I am not proud of what I just did.
I am so sexually threatened right now.
I am so sick of training. I wanna get out in the field.
I beg to differ.
I blew a mission.
I broke it off with that person, but my identity had already been revealed.
I can't believe none of us saw it, especially me.
I can't believe we have to go all the way to Los Angeles.
I can't hear anything outside your mouth, so if you get in trouble, you have to say so.
I can't wait till we finish the Hymie project.
I cannot get over the fact that 23 is a traitor.
I could either spend the rest of my life behind a desk...
I didn't get to eat at the restaurant.
I don't belong in an office making copies. I should be out there with Max.
I don't even know how much gets through.
I don't have to go very far.
I don't have to remind you, but this isn't like the last place.
I don't know how I missed it. I'm usually very observant.
I don't know if that's fair. I mean, I'm older than you are.
I don't know who you're talking about.
I don't know, if I were Max, I would get myself to L.A.
I don't like it.
I don't see a man, I see two little girls.
I don't think so.
I don't think we are on the same page.
I even have backup for you.
I feel good about the mission so far, don't you?
I feel really good about us as partners.
I felt good about this year's test, in light of the fact...
I get it.
I get it.
I got a pretty good hit in the head yesterday.
I got it!
I gotta get it out. I gotta get that out!
I have a hunch that you have a hunch that I am telling the truth.
I have a low center of gravity. Pretty solid.
I have another idea.
I have to get back to 99, she is in grave danger.
I have to squeeze the lemon.
I have to squeeze the lemon.
I heard it from America's sweetheart, Ryan Seacrest.
I hope your date doesn't mind.
I hurt my knee. It was smoky too.
I just got back from Russia. Half the people there are radioactive.
I know how hard you've prepared for this...
I know that, 99. I've placed only enough charges to safely bury the weapons lab.
I know you're listening! You two dickwads put one scratch on that car...
I know, 99. I need to go get a paper.
I learned that you have a mean right cross...
I left that section blank.
I like that tackling part.
I like your parents, but you hate mine.
I looked up your field agent exam, and I scored...
I mean, lab guys like us, analysts like you, we're the real soldiers.
I mean, the amount of chatter you get through, and the reports...
I mean, you know, I could be a double agent.
I might have been before, but I am...
I need to get down to that car!
I need to get out of here before someone stops me.
I never have actually heard that before.
I never said dusty.
I probably owe you an apology for that, sir.
I put a collar on you and make you my bi...!
I realized that even though I was accused of something I didn't do, I was happy.
I received a tip from a KAOS agent who I befriended at the bakery.
I recently lost 150 pounds.
I said I was sorry. You just didn't hear me, because you were in a mini coma.
I said I was sorry. You just didn't hear me, because you were in a mini coma.
I scored eight points higher than you.
I scored eight points higher than you.
I searched his house. I can't find his computer network.
I set that up.
I spend half my days trying to convince the vice president...
I swallowed it. I can get it back, but you may not want it.
I think I really got inside his head.
I think I'll call you Maureen, and you Brittany.
I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded...
I think it's time to find new wheels. Pull over.
I think that you are confusing adrenaline with, I don't know...
I think this is our connection to KAOS.
I think we should trust him, Chief.
I think we work very well together.
I thought you and I were supposedly cut from the same cloth.
I understand that you're the man to see...
I used to look like my mom.
I used to look like two of my moms put together.
I wanna quit, but what can I do? He's married to my sister.
I wanna quit, but what can I do? He's married to my sister.
I wanna show you something.
I wanted him to be a surprise.
I was involved with someone from work. I lost focus. The mission blew up.
I was kidding.
I was saying the results are quite extraordinary.
I wasn't talking to you.
I will not be rushed into it by you or my mother.
I wish we had more time too.
I'd love to dance.
I'll be back.
I'll say.
I'll show them the cone. The cone's the shizzle.
I'll still be in this meeting.
I'll tell you what we're not. We're not people who jam staples into people's heads.
I'm a trained killer. I can kill you with anything in this office.
I'm about to shoot beautiful woman and her retard stable boy.
I'm afraid the vice president and I had a less than cordial encounter yesterday.
I'm Agent 99.
I'm an assassin, here to kill you.
I'm coming to get you!
I'm fat!
I'm filling my suitcase with steroids and art from ancient Mesopotamia.
I'm going to cause a diversion. You run and get help.
I'm going to have to give this one a little something extra.
I'm going to kill you, and then I'm going to kill your partner.
I'm gonna try to get us over to that ledge! We can do this, 99!
I'm having bread, time to punch Max in the face.
I'm here because Ladislas Krstic sent me.
I'm just gonna call that one a 4:50.
I'm just saying that I think we're very compatible.
I'm just widening my eyes. I'm not actually seeing anything more.
I'm not feminine?
I'm not judging, just detecting a pattern.
I'm not totally incompetent without a gun, you know.
I'm on it.
I'm right here, just talk to me!
I'm so happy!
I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life!
I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
I'm sure whatever he's doing is vital to the nation.
I'm the one with experience. You know nothing.
I'm very proud of you, Max...
If captured, it would cause death in nine seconds.
If it looks like we let you go, we'd totally get fired.
If so, yes.
If you don't find that screen...
If you don't mind, 99...
If you have credible information from a reliable source...
If you have something to say to me, I wish you would just say it.
If you want it, you'll have to take it!
If you were CONTROL, you'd be dead.
If you're calling from a rotary...
Impressive. I once ran a 5:16.
In fact, your essay on existentialism was quite amazing.
Is it working?
Is that a dent in his head?
Is that a wig?
Is that the Chief?
Is that your default setting?
Isn't it great? I have so much more energy now.
It doesn't get any better than thinsk.
It doesn't matter.
It happened just as I got back. How do you know that it wasn't me?
It is good also.
It must be difficult to go to work.
It seems like they don't believe you.
It was a coded message.
It was here a second ago, then it went away.
It was the mushroom cloud for me.
It'll be fun.
It's a knife wound from the last mission. My blood gets pumping, it seeps.
It's a stolen KAOS technology.
It's a time consuming, labor intensive technology.
It's a tooth radio. It sends sound up your jawbone, into your ear.
It's a tragic story. He's quite deaf. Really not bright.
It's amazing what you learn...
It's called a rhinoceros.
It's not over, Max! I'll take that briefcase!
It's possible.
It's to her boyfriend, Max.
It's Tuesday, I'll punch Max in the face.
It's you, Max.
Judy, the elevator is still doing that thing where it drops really fast.
Just because he is large doesn't necessarily mean that he is a bad guy.
Just come on.
Just hold on.
Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you so high.
Just turn around.
Just words, really, that shouldn't be used against you in a custody hearing.
Kick the gun to me.
Killed Krstic before anybody could question him.
Knockout gas, 99?
Krstic was a fool.
KRSTIC: That's enough. Pity.
Larabee wants out!
LARABEE: Hey, Maxine!
LARABEE: Okay. All right.
LARABEE: That is cold. That's cold. AGENT 91: All right, easy.
Last chance.
Leathery hag, fat cow, ungrateful whore.
Let her go.
Let it go, man. Those kids don't even look like you.
Let me check.
Let me give you a lesson that I had to learn the hard way.
Let me share this with you. This is my favorite part.
Let's continue listening...
Let's Go to the Dog Show.
Let's just see what we're up against, okay?
Let's try one.
Like at the mansion.
Like me, you enjoy American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest.
Listen up, people.
Listen, I think he was part of the nuclear theft in Chechnya.
Listen, I think the final notes of the Ode to Joy trigger the bomb!
Listen, is it possible that you could answer a personal question?
Listen, while I was in my cell, I had some time to think.
Lloyd, may I have the C.O.S. Please?
Look at that shipment of detonators. It's a little odd.
Look, 23, no more stapling today.
Look, a rat riding on a piece of poop.
Look, Siegfried, we don't negotiate with terrorists...
Look. Look at the surprise on his face.
Make a pudding from the bones of Americans.
Make him high five me.
MAN [O VER PHONE]: How could you possibly screw this up?
MAN [O VER RADIO]: From Los Angeles, California...
MAN [O VER SPEAKER]: Folks, we may be experiencing a little turbulence.
MAN [ON RECORDING]: You have reached...
MAN 1 [O VER RADIO]: American Top 40. WOMAN: With Ryan Seacrest.
MAN 1: Wait!
MAN 2: Here's a sweet dedication from a little lady named Dalip.
MAN 2: Somebody shut it off!
MAN: Come on, let's see it.
MAN: Come on...
MAN: Hey, Agent 23 is back.
MAN: Shtarker.
MAN: Ugh.
MARSHAL: You all right in there? Yeah. Yes, I am.
Maureen.
MAX [O VER PHONE]: Hello, 99.
Max has no experience. I don't want him as my partner.
Max is halfway to Moscow. Don't tell me you're still translating that Russian.
Max, be quiet!
Max, do you read...?
Max, keep it together. Keep it together.
Max, not the cone of silence. We're in a safe room, for God's sakes.
Max, that's brilliant.
Max, we're gonna be late.
Max, you didn't push the button hard enough.
Max, your foot!
MAX: A lot of chatter in this region involves nuclear material.
MAX: Ah. Mrs. Shpilkes must be lost.
MAX: Ah. The Ode to Joy from Beethoven's Ninth.
MAX: Aim for the haystack. AGENT 99: Stop talking.
MAX: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? CHIEF: I don't know.
MAX: Boy, you know what? I will tell you, I love your country.
MAX: Chief, I have to say, this whole thing really steams my clams.
MAX: Good, 23, just in time. I think I got one of them.
MAX: He left us here.
MAX: Here.
MAX: Hold on, 99!
MAX: I am sorry, but we can never be.
MAX: It's no problem.
MAX: Krstic.
MAX: Of course.
MAX: Oh, great, rats. It's not enough that there's poop.
MAX: Okay, not to keep dwelling on this...
MAX: So you did hear me?
MAX: There has got to be another way in.
MAX: We have found Krstic.
MAX: Wow.
MAX: You heard me.
MAX: You missed it.
Max!
Max!
Max!
Max!
Max! You idiot! What the hell is wrong with you?
Max?
Max?
Max.
Max. Max.
Max. Max.
Max. Max.
Max...
Maxie, you know assassinations are specifically prohibited...
Maybe you should kiss him again.
Me too.
Me?
Meet me in L.A. Things will be very hot. Nuclear hot.
Men with hunches, that's where the real work gets done.
Miniature blowgun.
Missed it by that much.
Missed it by that much.
Missed me!
Mother of pearl!
My buttocks are really stinging from being dragged.
My favorite.
My name is Hymie.
My name is not new guy.
My name is Nudnik Shpilkes. Who are you?
My watch is a Geiger counter. You don't have one of these? Huh.
Next time use your own damn phone.
Nice?
No more Communism. No rules of any kind, really.
No sprechen Sie Russian.
No time for pain.
No, 99, don't touch that!
No, but the technology for holding up pants hasn't changed much.
No, but when I see blood, or when I talk about blood, or think about blood...
No, every time he found something, he was alone.
No, I am not.
No, I just whip it out there. It's what's best.
No, no good. If I get too low, he'll hear me coming!
No, no, no, we're not ready yet.
No, no, no. Radioactive hot.
No, not yellow cake cake, yellowcake uranium.
No, thank you. I am here for something else.
No, that's okay.
No, that's only for agents.
No, they don't.
No.
No.
No.
No. No!
No. Please, just save your breath.
No. What is odd is that it was shipped to a bakery in Moscow.
Not at all.
Not at all. Are you flirting with me?
Not everything's a competition.
Not just a pocketknife, Swiss Army knife.
Not yet! I haven't punched yet. React when I punch.
Nothing. I've swept the entire area, and it's clean.
Nothing. You were saying?
Now I am again. All right, I'm stopping.
Now I know how you felt when you thought I was a traitor.
Now, based on Max's intel, we were able to get Agent 38 inside KAOS.
Now, Dalip, I can prove that I know you. Your favorite dish is chicken tikka!
Now, if you ladies will excuse me.
Now, we know that the president is in town.
Nuclear!
Of course not. I lied.
Of course you did, it's a bakery.
Oh, a pocketknife.
Oh, Chief.
Oh, gee, Maxi pad, I've never heard that one before!
Oh, good, you heard me.
Oh, look, it understands.
Oh, Max.
Oh, Max.
Oh, Max.
Oh, Max. How could I look in your eyes?
Oh, Max. Let Maintenance take care of it.
Oh, my God, have you eaten the crew?
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! You and 23?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. You've really never had anyone break up with you, have you?
Oh, my Lord.
Oh, my word. You are Agent 99?
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, really? That's, uh, slower.
Oh.
Oh. Good, the itchy kind.
Oh. Is that today? I wasn't really thinking about it.
Oh. Um... That's not really a personal question.
Oh. Wow.
Okay, 99, you know what? That is profiling.
Okay, good idea.
Okay, Max. Little heads up.
Okay, never do that again!
Okay, no problem.
Okay, shall we?
Okay, up next, an exhibit...
Okay, we have a deteriorating situation in Venezuela.
Okay, you know what?
Okay, you're faced with an assassin. What do you do?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Lloyd.
Okay. Okay. That's all right. That's okay.
Okay...
On behalf of the United States Government, I hereby commandeer this plane.
On the cheek.
One more reason why boxers were a bad idea.
One slip up, and it's ka fricking boom!
Operation Joy?
Or I could change my face, so that's what I did.
Our only lead is the maker of the bomb KAOS used against us.
Out here there are no grades, there's only dead, and not dead.
Over the drop zone.
Over the past few months, we have assembled a stockpile of nuclear weapons...
Ow! That was me!
Ow! What's in there?
Ow.
Ow.
Pay attention to what I'm doing, so that you can follow me exactly.
People often say things in anger they don't really mean.
People often say things in anger they don't really mean.
Perhaps you're nervous because there is a bomb here and you know it.
Personal best.
Pictured here with his number two man, Shtarker.
Please, 99. All I'm asking is for you to look me in the eyes...
Please. I have trained my body to be impervious to...
Powerful stuff.
PRESIDENT: Chief, I'm not buying it.
Pretty boys. Nothing but empty suits.
Put it right here on my cell phone.
Ran over an old woman yesterday. Best vacation I've ever had.
Ready? One...
Really? How'd you do that?
Right.
Right.
Roger. I have the whole security system online. Just remember...
Running out in the middle of the road! You could get hit by a car!
Sand trap!
Second package away.
See how annoying that is?
See you later.
See, this is your problem. Some men like women more feminine!
See, this is your problem. Some men like women more feminine!
Shall we?
She just wants to be with you...
Should've smacked you harder.
Show him a little decolletage, cleavage, bat your eyes?
SHTARKER: That's it. You're there.
SIEGFRIED: Siegfried here.
Since the fall of Communism, everybody has one of these here.
Since we are going to be portraying husband and wife...
Sir, if I may ask...
Six guards. We are going to need another way in.
Six months' work. 18 million dollars.
Snappy tie.
So did I.
So far, our entire partnership has consisted of me getting you out of trouble.
So far, sure.
So here's how we stop that. I lead now.
So how do you know this place?
So how was the assassination?
So I had two choices.
So muffin, then, is a code word?
So time is of the essence.
So to be clear, you're not promoting me, because I do such a great job.
So unless you do your job today...
So where are the Chief and 99?
So? Why don't you...
Son of a hamster.
Sorry about that, Chief.
Sorry I'm late, but I just came out of a budget meeting...
Sorry to interrupt, Maxie, go ahead.
Sorry, Chief, someone led me to believe the cone was ready.
Sorry, I'm losing you.
Sorry, Max.
Sorry, Mr. Siegfried.
Speak up, son. I'm an old man, you know.
Squeeze the lemon.
Stand by, Max. Larabee, let's go. Move it.
Stay calm.
Still, it's too bad about all the dead movie stars.
Stone deaf when he wrote it. Syphilis. Fun stuff.
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop shooting me more. You already said I was... Hey.
Stop this car!
Sudden rise in blood pressure?
Sure? Flour sacks in back, very comfortable.
Swordfish!
Take her with you the next time you go to kill someone.
Take her with you the next time you go to kill someone.
Take it easy. You'll give yourself a heart attack.
Test. Test.
Test. Test.
Thank you for the lovely dance.
Thank you, Chief.
Thank you, Chief. All I'm saying is...
Thank you, sir, may I have another?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
Thanks, Bruce. I got them!
Thanks, Bruce. Keep us posted.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
That actually makes sense.
That burns!
That depends. Is it working?
That doesn't make any sense.
That guy's insane.
That old son of a gun can take a hit, huh?
That was me.
That was my last mile. I have no idea how fast it was.
That was nice.
That was so cool.
That we are both old fashioned men.
That will make me happy, Maureen.
That would have definitely worked on me.
That's a bad guy. That's a really bad guy.
That's CIA crap.
That's great.
That's impressive. Wow.
That's in there, that's in there.
That's it! I've been waiting for this since Nixon.
That's new stuff.
That's no one, sir.
That's not my knife! That's not my...
That's profiling, and I will have none of it.
That's the difference between an A plus and an A minus.
The bakery.
The big guy that might as well be holding up a sign:
The break in at CONTROL was probably an inside job.
The chairman of joint chiefs sent me this little movie.
The Chief is thrilled. He sent 23 out to observe the cleanup.
The device is armed. I hope you're moving.
The fasten seatbelt sign has been turned on.
The Golden Gate Bridge, Space Needle. There's no chatter to support this.
The kind where you'll wanna throw your shoes out afterwards.
The Ode to Joy will end with a bang.
The old call forwarding from the shoe phone to the cell phone...
The old steam sticks to everything but the oil from the last thumb print trick.
The Secret Service doesn't make mistakes like the fabulous bakery boys.
The shoes of death.
The spiders have to be individually milked.
The vice president wants to shut us down, you know.
The way I held that guy's hair while you punched him in the throat.
Then what's with the firearm and the freak show expressions?
There are no weapons? No radioactivity of any kind?
There is a lot of time for me to make this decision.
There must be 200 people here.
There was a guy in the bathroom who's really hot.
There will be no blood. Hang in there. Hang in, buddy.
There's a knife in my right front pocket!
There's a matter of your stoving my head in with a fire extinguisher.
There's been a rash of thefts of nuclear material...
There's no party, there's no dancing. Everyone in there is a trained killer.
There's nothing here but what used to be a bakery.
These darts are tipped with a tranquilizer derived from the skin of a lizard...
These detonators can also be used for nuclear bombs.
These tracks are taking us back downtown, towards the bomb!
They flew to L.A. To talk to the president.
They hacked our system...
They talk fast, it's hard.
They're 40 yards out, that's definitely the edge of my range.
They're heading towards you. Don't disappoint me again.
Things from my non work sphere spilled into my work sphere.
Third package away.
Third package?
This is gonna be so fun.
This is it?
This is just ridiculous!
This is KAOS. We don't ka fricking boom here.
This is me.
This is not a classroom.
This is the proudest moment of my life!
This one has a compartment. Inside there's a pill.
This thing is no good. It's a useless piece of garbage.
This whole week...
Three, two...
Throw out your manual.
Time to take my pill.
To wit, I offer the following conversation.
Today's the day, and we're gonna get rid of this damn thing.
Trace 99's call, now!
Tractor!
Tripe soup.
Trust is a must. That's what 23 says.
Trust me.
Tuesday's not gonna work. Cannot do Tuesday, I'm already...
Uh oh.
Uh oh. Two nerd pile up.
Unfortunately, we have no idea where he is.
Unjam that.
Unusual but effective.
Use him to get to KAOS, then recover the stolen nuclear material...
Very good.
Very impressive, 99.
Very sweet tackle.
VICE PRESIDENT [ON VIDEO]: I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day!
Wait a minute, 23. You're radioactive hot.
Wait, I know that voice. The chatter! Dalip.
Wait, wait, Dalip, there's something else that I know.
Wait! No, no, let him go.
Wake up, 99.
War room.
Was it no Boom, boom, or the lack of a mushroom cloud?
Was there anyone else there, or do we just trust you?
We also added a crossbow that fires harpoons...
We also have a new agent, Agent 86.
We both know what it feels like to look in the mirror and not like what we see.
We cannot respond to every threat.
We got him. He's still in Washington.
We gotta get you out of there, and you won't survive the jump!
We gotta go.
We have a deteriorating situation in Afghanistan.
We have a tradition called pick on the new guy. Here's how it works.
We have rules here. If you don't follow the rules, then what are we?
We met at a marketing convention in Vegas. Married a year later. No kids.
We must've been close to uncovering something...
We need to figure out something!
We need to get everyone out and shut this place.
We should follow him.
We thought CONTROL was safe.
We will be broadcasting from the Walt Disney Concert Hall throughout the evening.
We will climb up with you, and we'll all go... together.
We're in position. More or less.
We've swept the building.
Well, 23?
Well, as an analyst, I like to keep my ears open.
Well, excellent work, 23, but I could've handled it my...
Well, from wh...
Well, he is a bomb maker.
Well, I have an old fashioned hunch.
Well, I have to get going. Would you raise up the walkway, please?
Well, if it were, I'd win.
Well, if that's the case, then you are at an advanced age, and you should be...
Well, just back up here a second.
Well, Mr. Shtarker, I think you've underestimated me...
Well, neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL.
Well, no. I was never...
Well, sir, as an agent, I have trained myself to be impervious to pain.
Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads.
Well, that was ironic.
Well, that's convenient. Shoot them.
Well, you did your job, so I suppose I can't kill your wife.
Well, you do, but I'm concentrating on my career.
Well, you know what to do. Good luck in there.
Well, you were no help whatsoever.
Well... Mm.
Were you thinking, Holy shit, holy shit, a swordfish almost went through my head?
What a douche.
What are you doing, dummkopf?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing? Are you texting?
What are your demands?
What do you want me to do with Max?
What do you want?
What good hang time, huh?
What happened to your radio?
What I'm about to show you is the inner sanctum of our entire operation.
What is important is that KAOS has planted a bomb somewhere in Los Angeles.
What kind of entrance?
What matters is that there is a bomb, and I'm here to find it.
What the?
What time?
What was that?
What will we do without their razor sharp political advice?
What?
What? Max, you can't blow up a building full of radioactive material!
Whatever you do, 99, don't look down!
When they gave me a new face, I had them...
When were you exposed to radioactivity?
Which begs the question...
Which is why we've arranged for a little demonstration.
Which one's gonna attract the least attention?
Who am I kidding? I'm a middle aged man who's missed the train.
Who are you?
Who told you about that? Who told you?
Who wants to talk to a guy in a tree?
Who's that, sir?
Whoa. How did we miss that? That is huge.
Why are we even still here? There are 50 other perfect targets.
Why are you talking into your shoe?
Why did you change your looks?
Why does he do that?
Why don't you come in here so I can make you my pretty little girlfriends.
Why is the president never here?
With all our satellites, there's no way anybody could possibly...
WOMAN [ON RECORDING]: Airlock activated. Three, two, one.
WOMAN: And this display is all that's left of CONTROL, a secret spy agency...
WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, while you are in your seats...
Would you believe in the piano?
Would you like me to wait while you answer that?
Wow.
Wow. That is a great story...
Wow. That's maybe the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yeah, big day. Could be your last chance to push a pencil.
Yeah, communications got knocked down, so they put me in a tree.
Yeah, I'm big on protein. Protein's great.
Yeah, I've got a meeting.
Yeah, it came with the dress.
Yeah, letting my fiancee know we won't be able to get married in June.
Yeah, well, good teamwork.
Yeah, yeah, I think I will.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know what? That...
Yeah! The kid's still got it.
Yellowcake uranium, warheads, an entire production line.
Yep, they fixed it.
Yep.
Yes, a personal favorite. A bit familiar, but it ends with a bang.
Yes, Chief.
Yes, it was dark in there. You probably tripped.
Yes, Max, yes, please, sit down.
Yes, Mr. President. Thank you and goodbye, sir.
Yes, next Tuesday, right after I kick your ass.
Yes, there were some tap dancers in the hallway.
Yes, they are bad guys, but that is what they do, not who they are.
Yes, we know. How about a little radio silence?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. He is a Bosnian national, and one of KAOS' favorite munitions suppliers.
Yes. You and 23 are coming with me to see the president.
You and I share a bond, I think.
You are so light on your feet.
You better watch it.
You can't trust anyone out here, not even me.
You did it.
You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you.
You don't have one of these?
You don't have to get going. You don't have to go.
You don't just slap your hands on a government vehicle!
You don't look too bad yourself.
You follow us, she dies.
You go get yourself some punch.
You know what, I never saw James Bond in rats or poop, let alone rats and poop.
You know what, sir? I can't say that I am shocked.
You know what? I'm doing the same thing.
You know what? We're out of time.
You know, I am not completely incompetent without a gun.
You know, I love bread...
You know, I might be more help if you untie me!
You know, why not?
You know, you're the only human being I know who snores when he's awake?
You left it jammed.
You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity.
You look spectacular.
You may remember from page 627 of my last report...
You owe me $3.
You said we had to break up because we work together.
You said you swept the area and everything was clean.
You see what I just did?
You seem a bit slow.
You spent the morning talking about pudding, and you ignore a credible threat?
You too.
You two seem very angry.
You two? You and Max?
You wanna die by Post its? Because I could make that happen.
You wanted to see me, Chief?
You were moving. It's not easy to knock me down.
You were right when you said I shouldn't trust you.
You were truly hideous back then.
You with the surgery, me with the weight loss.
You'll have to bear with me, I'm still a little fuzzy.
You'll have to shower for weeks!
You're doing great, Max.
You're on. Go ahead.
You're so young and so full of life.
You've gotta be kidding me!
You've made CONTROL a laughingstock.
Your field agent test results just came in and...
Your house is so beautiful.
Your knife wound is seeping.
Your marriage is in trouble. Your darling wife, Zeenat, is leaving you.
9 4 3 6 8.
9 4 3 6 8.
16 floors down, how'd a fly even get in here?
23 says that's important.
23, you kill me.
23, you're bleeding.
23.
86, the President wanted me to convey his personal thanks...
99 recently underwent massive plastic surgery, so her new face is not known yet.
99, Easter Island.
99, I found the yellowcake.
99, please, nobody here knows that we're dating.
99, please.
99, we've been compromised. Get out.
99!
99!
99.
99.
200 billion dollars by 3 p. M?
200 billion dollars by 3 p.m.
... and you used to look like your mom. Max.
[WHISPERS] Is it working? Yes.
Aim for the haystack, it's softer. Stop talking!
All right... Although, I could make exception.
And a really good kisser. Ignoring that.
And just for the record. What's in there?
And they got lucky. Who's that? Who's speaking?
And they got lucky. Who's that? Who's speaking?
And they got lucky. Who's that? Who's speaking?
Are you CONTROL? I'm Maxwell Smart.
Bruce, it's not working. It's not working!
But Max said that he s... Did you see the evidence yourself?
But what exactly is he doing here today? Max.
Bye bye. What's a Hymie?
Can I have a moment, please? Sure.
Can't you call him? Vice president won't let me through.
Chief! Yeah, Maxie! Are you okay?
Did you just...? Shh!
Do with Max? Max?
Do you think I should tell him? No. Let's just savor the moment.
Do you work out? Occasionally.
Don't move. What are you doing?
Everything good? It's great. Well, I gotta...
Get him! It's gum.
Gonna be all right with your cuffs? No cuffs can contain me.
Good Lord. Listen...
Good morning, Bruce, Lloyd. Why would you wanna be an agent?
He's got a gun! Not... Gum! Not... No! Gum!
He's trying to light his shoe. MAN: It's a shoe bomb!
Hence the decaf. For Aftab, yes.
Here we go. I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day!
Hey, Max. Max!
Hey, Max. MAX: Agent 50.
Hey. I'm shaking. I'm shaking.
How did I get into these clothes? That's not important. Let's go.
How do I know you're not CONTROL? Lf I were CONTROL, you'd already be dead.
How do you know that? It was on page 482 of my report.
How do you know that? It was on page 482 of my report.
How do you know this? I'd rather not say.
How you been? I've been well.
I am a huge fan! Thank you.
I am Siegfried. [LOUDLY] Did you say Siegfried?
I could if I wanted to. Yes, you... Oh. Oh!
I did until you took it. Bang. You're dead.
I did, and it was. AGENT 99: Really?
I don't believe you. Would you believe...
I don't get it, I thought he was dead! I will say this, he is not a quitter.
I don't like it when you shoot me. Bang. Bang. Bang.
I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Okay.
I really don't think that that's a... Shh.
I take out my gun, and I would shoot... You don't have a gun.
I told you to freeze. Freeze times infinity.
I was getting to that. When? Next week?
I was not ready. That's my point.
I wish we had more time! What?
I'll be right back! Where could you possibly be going?
I'm not feminine? No.
I'm not hearing anyone. What?
I'm not questioning your judgment... MAX: 99, I insist on complete honesty.
Is there someone else I can talk to? Good one.
It doesn't work, get rid of it. Turn it off.
It's pronounced Krstic, sir. Yes...
Just open the door, read the instructions. This your stapler?
Kris Kringle. Fish stick. CHIEF: Yes, Krs...
Krstic. Yes. Find him!
Less than cordial, you say? Yes, sir.
Let's go. Maybe a little one?
Like when you bombed that bakery? Muffins of mass destruction.
Max, the Chief wants to see you. It is nice to see you too!
Max! No!
Max? I'm... Yep, still fighting.
Max. Hey, what?
Max. Was that...? A total guess, yes, it was.
Mom! Mom! Mom! Sean! Sean! Sean!
Move! Ow!
Move! Ow!
Move! Ow!
My what? Your field agent exam.
New guy did not. New guy did.
No, I'm not. Bang. You're dead.
No, you freeze. You freeze.
No. How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun?
No. Yes.
No. That's not... Know what, Max? Just stop it.
Not bad for a rookie. Not bad for an old lady.
Not much of a laugher, are you? Here. Put this on.
Oh, God! Hold on, 99!
Oh, great. Sorry.
Oh, my God. You're just having fun showing your:
Oh, yeah, we are really under the radar. Will you relax?
Oh, yeah. One...
Oh, you know. Yes.
Okay, I got it, I got it. MAX: Krstic.
Okay! Okay! Come on!
Okay. Wet willy.
Old school stuff. Glad to see you're okay.
On what? On your molar.
Overpower us. Good idea.
Ready to work? I'm ready to work. You ready?
Right. AGENT 99: Excuse me, Chief, just a thought.
Shipments of explosives. Your boyfriend is a very bad man.
So you could hear me? BRUCE: Yes.
Something hot. We have rolls that just came out.
Something wrong with your ear? Absolutely not.
Sometimes I faint. I'm not going to hit you.
Stop it. Bang. Bang.
Stop shooting me. You are dead.
Thank you. Lloyd, I'll simulate your disembowelment.
That's what I just said! I know, I'm just trying to annoy you!
That's your opinion. No, that is a medical fact.
There are 72 threats on the list. Mike? Thank you, Mr. Vice President.
There is a bomb. Where?
This must be Ladislas Krstic's house. What?
Turn it off! Larabee, you all right?
We never thought you were. Yeah, we love you, man.
We pick on the new guy. And you can't do anything about it.
Welcome back, 23. Maxie.
Well, let me. I've got nails. It's a recipe for...
Well, not by much. Really?
Were you the last one to use the copier? Yeah.
Wha...? Then show her. Go home for lunch.
What are we talking about here? Let's just find a car.
What did you hit? Don't yell at me. It's not helping!
What was that thing you said? Chisel?
What was that? I cramped up.
What? I can't afford to give up my best analyst.
What? Six o'clock.
What'd you do? I can't find the right screen.
What's that? Sorry.
Where are you? That's not important.
Whoa. AGENT 23: Come on.
Why Los Angeles? Major city...
Wrong way. Okay, wait.
Yeah, want me to show you how to use it? No.
Yeah. Check it.
Yes. We need to find out his itinerary. But, Max, the...
You all right? I'm fine!
You all right? Yeah. That was amazing.
You don't have much time. Where is the drink cart?
You don't say. Did you see his face?
You dropped your pencil. Did you hear the man?
You have to speak up. CHIEF: Can you hear me?
You passed with flying colors. Yes!
You said that to me. All right, shut up.
You want a piece of me? Come on, Chief! He's not worth it.
You. You.
You'll get us killed if you don't listen! A minus!
... and tell me that you don't feel something too.
... of our concert for the president.
... the United States Department of Homeland Security.
... we welcome you to a live broadcast...
... we welcome you to a live broadcast...
... which we have distributed to 20 unfriendly, unstable dictators.
... you are almost as good a dancer as me...
...and bear in mind that the next 100 pages can get a little bit dry.
...and go back to Max's extraordinarily detailed report?
...and how much this means to you...
...and I don't believe that's the case.
...and I know bread has a few carbs, but...
...and I know that you let those CONTROL agents get away.
...and learned the identities of all our field agents.
...and learned the identities of all our field agents.
...and maybe, if we're lucky, we can apprehend the man behind it all...
...and quite frankly, more fattening than most people realize.
...and surprise everyone trick.
...and that means less time with her sister...
...and the element of surpr...!
...and the president will be there.
...and to tell you how impressed he was with that dragged by a train thing.
...and when that happens...
...and you're obviously bluffing. Take a hike.
...because he called his sister in law a leathery hag.
...because it seems like no matter how many I eat, I stay thinsk.
...before they can do something less than friendly...
...but I need you where you are.
...but I'm afraid I can't promote you.
...but that was some kiss.
...but we will release the codes unless our demands are met.
...by a highly trained team of 130 Black Op snipers.
...by executive order 12333.
...connected to spider silk nano thread. Has the strength of steel cable.
...especially yellowcake, over the last three months.
...for their security and peace of mind.
...have nuclear bombs that we wouldn't know about.
...how did you choose the target?
...I mean, they go way beyond the raw data.
...I will sleep like baby.
...I'm gonna have you hunting for land mines, with a hammer!
...I've never really been afraid of carbs...
...I've placed charges at points all over the building.
...I've placed charges at points all over the building.
...if someone is interested in acquiring items of a nuclear nature.
...in which you revealed absolutely nothing about yourself.
...Iots of media attention...
...is either an idiot or not a double agent, and I don't think you're an idiot.
...known as los zapatos de la muerte.
...last night...
...listening to chatter. In fact, Ladislas Krstic loves this place.
...maybe we should get our story set.
...of how difficult it is to make the transition to office life.
...of how difficult it is to make the transition to office life.
...of scraping a cheese grater against my forehead.
...one phone call could take me to the other side of the world.
...one.
...only to fall into the arms of the people that got him in the first place...
...please keep your seatbelts fastened.
...President Kim Jong il made a very odd threat to, and I quote:
...risk the carbs?
...Siegfried.
...so KAOS hit us and they hit us hard.
...so you don't know where I am, then I appear on the roof behind you...
...some other kind of hormone.
...take a couple years off.
...that in previous years, my fitness has been an issue.
...that intelligence comes from humans and not satellites.
...that there has been an uptick in KAOS interest in nukes.
...that until we understand that our enemies are also human...
...two dozen Delta Force commandos?
...two, three.
...unjam it?
...very proud of you...
...we have that tractor, that cart...
...we will never defeat them.
...which once battled against the criminal syndicate known as KAOS.
...which would be like eight hours a day...
...who we both know is undermining your relationship.
...why would two hardened KAOS agents...
...with our incredibly abrasive, dismissive and sarcastic vice president.
...you know me.
...you picked a good restaurant.
...your lovely wife, Zeenat, will have eaten her last kebab.
[ABBA'S TAKE A CHANCE ON ME PLAYS ON HEADPHONES]
[AGENT 99 SCREAMS]
[ALARM WAILING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
[BAND PLAYING WALTZ]
[BEADS RATTLING]
[BEEPING]
[BEEPING]
[BEEPING]
[BEEPING]
[BEEPING]
[BEEPING]
[BEEPING]
[BELL RINGS]
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
[CHOKES]
[CLATTERING]
[CLATTERING]
[CLEARS THRO AT]
[CLEARS THRO AT]
[CLINKING]
[CREAKS]
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
[DALIP SOBBING]
[DARTS WHIZZING]
[DIAL TONE HUMS]
[DINGS]
[DOG BARKING]
[DOOR CLICKS]
[DOOR SLAMS]
[EARS RINGING]
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
[FABRIC TEARS]
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
[FLY BUZZING]
[GASPS]
[GRO ANING & CLATTERING ON VIDEO]
[GRO ANING]
[GRO ANING]
[GRO ANING]
[GRO ANS]
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTS]
[GUNSHOT]
[IMITATES CARS CRASHING]
[IN ARABIC]
[IN ARABIC]
[IN KOREAN]
[IN PUNJABl]
[IN PUNJABl]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN]
[LARABEE GRO ANING]
[LARABEE GRO ANING]
[LARABEE SCREAMS]
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
[LINE RINGING]
[LOUDLY] The inner sanctum of the entire operation?
[MADONNA'S 4 MINUTES PLAYS ON RADIO]
[MAN GRUNTS]
[MAN SPEAKING IN PUNJABI ON RECORDING]
[MAX GRO ANING]
[MAX GRO ANING]
[MAX GRUNTING]
[MAX LAUGHING]
[MAX SCREAMING]
[MAX YELLING]
[MEN LAUGHING]
[MUMBLES]
[MUMBLES]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
[PERFORMING BEETHO VEN'S ODE TO JO Y]
[PHONE RINGS]
[PHONE RINGS]
[PHONE RINGS]
[PLAYING BEETHO VEN'S ODE TO JO Y]
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS]
[SHTARKER BREATHING NOISILY]
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
[SQUEAKING]
[STOPS URINATING]
[STOPS URINATING]
[STOPS URINATING]
[STOPS URINATING]
[STOPS URINATING]
[THUDS]
[TOILET FLUSHES]
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
[URINATING]
[URINATING]
[URINATING]
[URINATING]
[URINATING]
[URINATING]
[VOMITING]
[WATCH BEEPING]
[WHISTLES]
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
[WRAPPER CRINKLING]
[YELLING]
[YELLS]
[YELLS]
[YELLS]
[YELLS]
[YELLS]
[YELLS]
23. Yes.

Viral
Funny