The Dictator (2012) Edit

A brand new 9112012.

About some of the comments I may have made about

Absolutely.

According to Wadiyan propaganda,

Across the globe, people are glued to their television sets.

Admiral General Aladeen of Wadiya

Admiral General Aladeen preparing

Admiral General, I am here for your protection 24/7.

Admiral General, what if we just tell the United Nations

After Wadiya's first free elections,

Ah, gentlemen, Tamir.

Ah, Nadal.

ALADEEN: (IN DEEP VOICE) Good morning, Nadall

ALADEEN: I trust everything is in there,

ALADEEN: Megan! Megan!

ALADEEN: Next. No, no, no. No. Boring, boring. Come on. Come on.

ALADEEN: She offered me a job.

ALADEEN: Who are you?

Aladeen.

ALADEENI This is silly.

ALADEENI Zoey?

All I ever did was steal my country's wealth

All my friends have got nuclear weapons

All night'?

All of our employees are political refugees, just like you!

All of the others are gone! Qaddafi,

All right, can you get me a cloak?

All right, let's get right to it.

All right, Mr. Smart Guy,

All right, then... I will get you.

All right.

All right. I promise.

All right'?

All this time you've had a brick? Why do you have that?

ALL: (CHANTING) Aladeen! Aladeen!

ALL: (CHANTING) Swivel. Swivel.

Allison Burgers is a persecuted dissident, not a murderous madman!

Allison Burgers.

Allison, before we go any further,

Allison, could you please take your hands off my breasts?

Allison, I don't have a dick.

Allison, stop it! You need two hands!

Allison, what happened?

Allison, why are you sad'?

Allison, you may need to keep your voice down because...

Allison! Are you okay?

Allison! The Lancasterjust called! We got the contract back!

Allison. Hi.

Also, if you're interested in taking in a Broadway show while you're here,

Amazing turn of events, Tamir Mafraad is being taken away.

America is number one!

An eco friendly flower section to the store.

An historic moment.

An outer layer of cocksucker,

ANCHORMAN: ...at which he won fourteen gold medals.

ANCHORMAN: Known for his iconic beard,

ANCHORMAN: Often described as ignorant,

ANCHORMAN: Tensions are rising as the stand off

ANCHORMAN: Tonight we ask... Who is General Aladeen?

ANCHORMAN: With pressure mounting,

ANCHORMAN: With the signing of the constitution tomorrow morning,

And children.

And clean energy, It will, it will.

And everybody's vote counts,

And everything she stands for.

And execute anybody who did not agree with me,

And finish composting the wheatgrass tailings, okay?

And fly over the Lancaster to spot its weaknesses.

And foreign interests to destroy my beloved Wadiya!

And go to Applebee's for the rest of your life!

And he doesn't wanna use violence, but he puts his violence into his dance.

And he expresses himself...

And he looks like a snitch on Miami Vice.

And he seems to have a pitcher of urine out.

And he will shpichs for a lifetime.

And he's fallen off the stage.

And he's walked right past the podium.

And how hard is it to put a bath mat down, Bin Laden?

And I forgot to give you the message.

And I kind of need you to hurry up, chief. Chop chop.

And I smacked it and I smacked it and I gave it a flick,

And I totally crashed!

And I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you.

And I've never been with a guy with a dick.

And in them, the victims of the bomb

And now, the world waits.

And open for business.

And out came my own labeneh!

And pack my book of medium level Sudoku.

And pack my book of medium level Sudoku.

And please stop using that organic deodorant.

And real elections in Wadiya!

And she takes lovers outside of her ethnic group.

And tell Viggo Mortensen he is on my radar'

And that is why I call for real democracy!

And the payload delivery systems.

And the spray hose has been tightly coiled.

And the wallet floats up.

And then a see through version of themselves

And then in order to talk, he has to put it back this way?

And then on the day of the event,

And then they discover an almond in his head,

And then you can make your own Iabeneh come out.

And then, literally, bounce right back and blow up Wadiya.

And they accuse me of being an international criminal?

And they say, "Why is there an almond in his head?"

And throw a couple of extra cranny b's on top, if you could,

And we are set to test the missile next week.

And we have to act like true Americans.

And when you peel it away,

And will certainly never be used

And Yankee Stadium.

And yet, it's strange.

And you don't mind the homo stuff,

And you just assume that he's hatching some violent plot'?

And you're wanted for war crimes!

And, Mr. Lao of PetroChina, you will have the lease on our shale reserves.

Any thoughts on what they might be saying, Mike?

Anyway, I'm going to hang up on you.

Apparently, I didn't get it.

Are arriving now to witness the creation of a democracy

Are my crimes any worse than hers?

Are you developing nuclear weapons?

Are you guys friends of the deceased?

Are you okay, my love'? What did you step on?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you serious?

Are you serious? Are you serious right now?

Arrest the viper Tamir!

As he is currently drafting Wadiya's new constitution,

As opposed to the glass that I'm sure must be up there.

As Wadiya goes, so goes North Africa.

As your manager requested?

At the Lancaster Penthouse Ballroom in three days.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Bonus round. Mass grave.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome to the Munich Olympics.

AUTOMATED VOICE: You've unlocked the suicide vest!

B.P., you will control the north.

Baby? The ambulance can't be here for 20 minutes. Can you hold it?

Be careful with that, sweetheart. Be careful.

Because I am a cockney.

Because I don't trust the advertising. I'm naturally suspicious.

Because I majored in Fem Lit!

Because I think my guy would be wearing a cloak.

Because I'm, like, the furthest thing from a racist.

Because it has as much potassium as three bananas.

Because no one has ever loved me!

Because this one is...

Because you have everybody executed who tells you anything.

Because you hold your eyes like that!

Before you or one of your sand monkey cousins takes it down.

Being Aladeen has its perks, does it not?

Beloved Oppressor, I have just received disturbing news

Beloved Oppressor, try to get some sleep.

Between the world community and the rogue North African nation of Wadiya

Bin Laden flooding the bathroom every time he showers...

Black person.

Bleach his skin, and shorten the penis.

Bloop.

BOTH: Five, four, three, two, one!

Burgers.

But before I do I have one very important question for you.

But democracy,

But from now on, it is my way

But he's in this working class place and no one understands him.

But I get the idea. Great idea! Yeah, You...

But I'm going to have to take a break for a little bit because

But I'm gonna torture you for free.

But I'm in the middle of the text.

But I'm staying here! I paid twenty dollars for the fucking Internet!

But if you give me your clothes

But in the interest of full disclosure, I have to say I hate A rabs.

But maybe could you finish doing this

But please try.

But soft and really mushy on the in.

But the big story today is the marriage of President Prime Minister

But the thought of her decapitated head actually upset me,

But where's the splash guard?

But would secretly be controlled by one person and his family.

But you need to take care of them by yourself.

But you'll be happy to know, the missile is now pointy!

By Wadiyan leader, Admiral General Aladeen.

By what police are now calling a "terrorism misunderstanding"

Can you get me that one?

Can you imagine that? Me? Working?

Captain Hook and Blackie.

Celebratory cuddle?

Check out this bad boy.

China is a democracy, too. (LAUGHS)

Chocolate covered versions of these.

CLAYTON: Rise and shine.

Clayton? I thought we were friends.

Clean up on aisle four!

Come here, my love.

Come here. I'm just so sorry! You're okay now.

Come on, push!

Come on, Supreme Leader! Make it rain! Make it rain!

Come on! Why won't this catch?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Congratulations. Living the American dream.

CROWD: (CHANTING) Aladeen! Aladeen!

CROWD: (CHANTING) He's not the legitimate leader!

CROWD: (CHANTING) Hey, hey, oh, oh! Aladeen has got to go!

CROWD: (CHANTING) Kill Aladeen, kill Aladeen, hey!

Deal.

Death to the tyrant!

Democracy

Democracy in Wadiya is just hours away,

Democracy is the worst!

Democracy kisses you because she wants to,

Democracy looks like a midget in a chemo wig.

Democracy, your mother called the other day

Democracy.

DENISE: Again, it's another attempt to say,

DENISE: It looks to be his own urine.

DENISE: That's Tamir Mafraad, A/adeen's trusted adviser,

DENISE: The people of Wadiya are celebrating

Did you get a chance to see Billy Elliot?

Did you suffer from sexual abuse?

Dignitaries from around the world

Do I know you?

Do you have nuclear weapons?

Do you know it's a fact that they cannot pronounce their R's?

Do you know it's a fact that they cannot pronounce their R's?

Do you not remember what my saintly father

Do you think you could get me 100 child soldiers here by 5:00 p.m.?

Do you want me to say this in front of his widow?

Do you want the Aladeen news or the Aladeen news?

Does anyone have any medical experience?

Does the Mad Dog of Wadiya have nuclear weapons?

Doing the jerk off.

Don't be like that.

Don't do anything to arouse any suspicions.

Don't do that with your eyes!

Don't tell me what to say and what not to say, little boy.

Don't worry, it's fine. Well done, my friend.

Don't worry, nobody gonna suspect anything. It's a great plan, pointy.

Don't worry. I am Wadiya's number one actor.

Don't worry. I'm 50% to blame.

Don't worry. Just relax.

Eccentric and with unlimited oil wealth,

EFAWADH: (ON SCREEN) This new constitution

Eh, don't worry!

Emploice what?

Emploice.

Emploice.,.Muswashans.

Endless talking and listening to every stupid opinion!

Enjoy it.

Etra.

Etra.

Even Ahmadinejad!

Ever since they shot his double last year.

Every eye in the room is on him right now.

Every single person you had executed is still alive.

Everybody has a price.

Everybody knows about this.

Everything to do with you! A lot of them wrote notes.

Excuse me!

Excuse me. What is that over there'?

Excuse me. You guys make a really cute couple together.

Exxon, you will have all offshore rights,

Finally, somebody who knows who I am.

Fine, but guess who's still living in my guest house?

Fine! I'll address them like they've never been addressed before.

Fine.

For a moment like this

For what?

For you.

From the mountaintops of Noflh Korea to the jungles of Zimbabwe,

From the Shah of Iran's garage sale?

General Aladeen was born the only son of the Colonel Aladeen,

General Aladeen will be signing the new Wadiyan constitution.

Get it outta there.

Get me clothes, little man.

Get out of here before Tamir kills you.

Get richer by cutting their taxes

Get this away from me!

Girls, show him your bosoms.

Give a man a vagina and he will shpichs for a day.

Give her a mouth bath. Go.

Give him one more for fun, Viktor.

Gobble on my bilbul and she said, "No."

Good choice.

Good night, Allison.

Good night! Thank you again.

Good one!

Great!

Great!

Great! I'd love to go! Maybe another time, you know.

Green World is shutting down their Manhattan store!

Green World is shutting down their Manhattan store!

Guess what? We deliver to the Lancaster!

Haffaz Aladeen was born in 1973.

Hannah, that guy from the Lancaster's coming tomorrow morning,

Has hairy armpits and could lose five pounds.

Hasan, Rock the door!

Have a seat, cousin.

Have you gone insane?

Have you spoken to the experts about this?

He changed over 300 Wadiyan words to ”Aladeen, "

He did not know his mother, who died in childbirth.

He gay? He suck my dick?

He may just be the most dangerous man in the entire world.

He recently hosted his own Olympic Games...

He was my negger. ******. Nagger?

He was my ******.

He was reported saying, "Let's take out the guards at the Lancaster."

He's an old fashioned movie star.

He's approaching the podium.

He's feeling ill.

He's from a Sudanese tribe that has no concept of money.

He's just like.“ (GRUNTS) I'm gonna express myself in my dance.

He's not the legitimate leader!

He's not the legitimate leader!

He's resting in his bedroom and must never, ever be disturbed.

He's trying to stop the signing!

He's very simple and backwards. I'm sorry,

HEAD SCIENTIST: Don't you remember?

Hello, Aladdin.

Hello, gentlemen. How you doin'?

Hello, gentlemen. How you doin'?

Hello, Nadal. Listen, I can't speak now.

Hello, person. Person.

Help! Help! I'm trapped under a glass ceiling!

Hey, Allison, can you take out the garbage? Thanks.

Hey, buddy, I saw that.

Hey, do you remember my favourite sports car?

Hey, have your old back problems been bothering you'?

Hey, hey, oh, oh! Aladeen has got to go!

Hey, my English is getting good...

Hey, my man! Excuse me. Hairnet!

Hey! What are you doing'? Where are you going?

Himself a savage and violent dictator.

Hire a limo, have some cocktails, bring my raping shoes.

His entire village was ransacked.

His message of don't worry and being happy

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hold on.

How am I gonna eat that?

How am I... Wait. You don't know'?

How are you alive?

How dare you question my memory? I remember everything!

How dare you?

How did it feel for you? How did it feel for you?

How did you find me?

How do you say, "Fly is in the soup"?

How is she to judge? She shaves her armpits once a year,

How much do you charge for assassinations?

How much time have they allotted me?

How would you even make that leap? Tamir to Dennis?

I am a bit of a cocksucker.

I am America's number one douche.

I am executing myself!

I am hanging up. Click! (MIMICS DIAL TONE SOUNDING)

I am here to deliver my speech to the United Nations.

I am interested. We are interested.

I am now 100% sure that you are watching cartoons.

I am so honored to be able to help you.

I am very stupid.

I can fix this. I have a new plan. We need to find a new double.

I can see it has a screw hole for one.

I can't believe it's happening to me

I can't hold it! It's coming out!

I cannot begin to tell you what an honor it is

I cannot believe I'm having this conversation with an adult man.

I cannot wait for you to sample our mafroom.

I despise you.

I did it! I just jerked it completely off!

I do not have any money on me,

I don't care.

I don't know how to speak Chinese.

I don't know what that is.

I don't know, I just feel so sorry

I don't know, I...

I don't like the people, but I like the way that

I don't touch myself. Do you touch yourself?

I don't understand what has happened.

I fell off me horse at the old Bull & Bush Pub

I found it heartwarming and life affirming.

I give it thumbs clown

I grabbed my bilbul like I was strangling a bird.

I have a message for Aladeen.

I have a perfectly good job here. I'm a Mac Genius!

I have decided to bestow upon you a gift.

I have great news

I have re engineered the oxidizing ducts

I have to be with the Italian Prime Minister tomorrow.

I have to show you how to do it.

I highly recommend a visit to the Empire State Building,

I highly recommend Billy Elliot.

I invented the pull up.

I just came.

I just want everything to be perfect.

I know this is hard for you Americans to imagine,

I know why this guy's the most hated man in the world.

I know. It's nice to kiss you, too.

I lost my beard!

I love being an Americans!

I love George Clooney!

I love it when women go to school.

I love the hugging.

I love you.

I love your music, by the way.

I managed to buy some beards at the wig store today that are perfect.

I mean, is every day in Iran casual Friday?

I mean, somebody had set the safety catch

I need a little of the quinoa salad, please,

I need the sheriff's badge.

I now know that on the outside,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

I pretty much haven't had a white boyfriend since high school.

I really want someone to cuddle.

I really want to be with you, Allison Burgers'

I return to Wadiya to participate in fair elections.

I saw him perform with the Globetrotters.

I see what you're doing, it's not cool.

I sentence you

I think I feel an arm!

I think most healthy people do, yes.

I think she'll be cool with it.

I think we found what you are looking for.

I thought he was outstanding. I befriended him.

I thought his name was Dennis.

I thought I made out the words "Harvey Keitel

I told you already, this is...

I told you, before we came in.

I took a feminist clown workshop once.

I urge you, right now, keep your performance small and real.

I want to hang up first.

I was downstairs self juicing.

I was his lover.

I was Wadiya's Chief Surgeon for the last 22 years.

I will be able to sell Wadiya's oil rights. Gazprom,

I will be supportive.

I will become the greatest dictator of all,

I will buy the house on Lake Como next to George Clooney's.

I will draft a new constitution for Wadiya

I will get you an identical beard and costume.

I will take no options off the table. And I mean what I say.

I will tell you what democracy is!

I won't put my finger away because...

I won't. I won't!

I wonder what could have happened?

I wonder what could have happened?

I would, but I simply cannot.

I... Yes.

I'll give you that one. I do look ridiculous.

I'll join you after I finish this level.

I'll make a sizable donation in your name to al Qaeda.

I'll see you tomorrow morning.

I'll shave my armpits for you.

I'll speak to you later, okay? Bye!

I'll talk for 14 hours!

I'll tell you later. They're hilarious.

I'm actually a little somebody called

I'm being paid to kill you.

I'm canceling that contract tomorrow!

I'm going to another question.

I'm going to enjoy this now.

I'm gonna kill you, and then I'm gonna burn your body.

I'm in New York!

I'm not chink, I'm Chinese American!

I'm not really Allison Burgers.

I'm pregnant.

I'm really sorry. I'm gonna have to take this call.

I'm so sorry! Listen, it was not my fault.

I'm so, so sorry that Whitney turned out like she did.

I'm sorry, you were doing what?

I've been on a spiritual journey, man, like Eat, Pray, Love.

I've been replaced by this body double who's a total imbecile.

I've discovered this amazing thing.

I've done my Iabeneh all over the wellness center.

I've got one that works by Bluetooth.

I've hung up. I hung up already.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.

If this constitution is signed,

If you do not stop using hateful language, you cannot work here.

If you lose enough weight, then the zipline will work.

Imagine if America was a dictatorship.

In a cellophane wrapped box. Delicious.

In fact, anyone from outside of America is technically an A rab.

In fact, I don't want to be a Dictator any more!

In their suicide notes they named you by name!

In this film, just one question,

In time.

Including the words "positive" and "negative," causing mass confusion.

Indulge me. For one second, pretend that I'm an idiot.

Inflate my neck pillow

Instead of you, the rightful heir.

Intensified today

Into supporting policies that are against their interests.

Involving a man named Emer Gencyexitonly.

Is going to be signing

Is my jet ready?

Is nothing but a license for oil companies

Is there a phone in my body?

Is there anything else in your pockets that could be weighing you down?

Is there anything else you're carrying? You're still too heavy.

It didn't come with a splash guard.

It feels so nice to kiss you.

It is about the payload delivery.

It is almost time.

It is too round on the top. It needs to be pointy.

It is. It's great, yeah.

It just makes me so mad!

It means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.

It was never to sell Wadiya's oil.

It was not to chop his head off!

It was so brave of you.

It was something very important about your grandmother.

It will be used only for medical research

It'd be nice if I got just a little bit of positive feedback about my tools

It's a hilarious story. I'll tell you later, okay?

It's actually been banned in Saudi Arabia for being too safe.

It's Aladeen! It's Aladeen without the beard!

It's all a rumor. And you're being silly.

It's amazing!

It's bad news.

It's called self juicing.

It's coming out!

It's fine. Please, gobble up my little mouse.

It's gonna be fine. You just need to ice it.

It's how they walk.

It's impossible. We can't compete with Green World.

It's like a 10 year old boy's.

It's like seeing a monkey on rollerskates.

It's me, Admiral General Aladeen!

It's my people's tradition. We always smash a glass at weddings.

It's not a very good...

It's not great stuff. That's like 1972, hello.

It's ok, I've already ordered a new one.

It's okay. Don't worry. You're having a rough day.

It's out! And it's pointy!

It's racist, what you are doing!

It's the season finale

It's very rude not to look at somebody in the eye when they're talking to you.

It's Vita Coco water.

Jachnoon. Nadal. I have to be back at the palace in an hour.

Joseph! go and hose down my Crocs.

Just do like a pull up. You know how you do pull ups'?

Just girls.

Just give me a couple of millimeters to myself.

Just give us... We don't...

Just go up from where you are.

Just jump. It's not that far.

Just like Wadiya's going to be soon!

Just suck the fatoot of the biggest guy, you'll be fine.

Justin Bieber's chubby double!

Kill Aladeen, kill Aladeen, hey!

Kimberly?

L did it all by myself!

L like goats.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press,

Ladis Washerum.

Ladis what?

Ladis.

Let every child laborer and sweatshop factory worker sing,

Let's bring in Denise, our U.N. correspondent.

Let's do another hug, okay?

Let's go.

Let's now look back at the wonderful events of the past year.

Let's see how you feel about racial profiling when white people...

Lie back.

Like Castro or Gandalf.

Listen to me. Okay?

Listen, hold onto that badge. It's the only thing that'll get you past security.

Listen, I understand that you're having urges, okay?

Listen, I'm thinking of revealing my true identity

Listen, just show me another one.

Listen, while you're here,

Listen! Listen, okay?

Listen.

Literally, baby noises.

Live together in perfect harmony

Look, Admiral, it's too hot for crazy.

Look, I mean, this whole gun...

Look, it's me!

Look, where has being a nice guy gotten you, huh?

Look, you alone can stop these terrible things from happening

Looking at the sights.

Looks like we need to find a new double.

Losing power has stopped me up like a cork.

Love it!

Luckily the bullet hit him in the brain.

Made me promise him on his deathbed?

Made this boy grow tits!

MAN: Help!

Mansaf!

Maroush, I think I dropped an almond in his head.

Max what?

Max.

May I remind you that his only real job is to be shot in the head.

Maybe he wanted to take the guards out for a falafel!

Maybe they shared a hot dog together, I'm thinking?

Me? Work for that hairy titted yeti?

Megan, you were worth every penny.

MIKE: And he's returning to the podium.

MIKE: And now in another

MIKE: Don't know what that meant.

MIKE: I believe he just urinated in the pitcher.

MIKE: If you're just joining us, we are at the Lancaster Hotel,

MIKE: Just moments away now from putting his signature

Mmm, no, a bit more.

Mmm. You were super hot.

Mostly, I clean semen out of laptops.

MR. LAO: The double that you found is good.

Mrs. Lao, it is my very great pleasure.

Much has been made of the hostility between our countries.

My father also from U.S.A.

My friend chopped the head off Morgan Freeman.

My great grandfather fought in the American Civil Jihad.

My guy has a limp.

My name is Ala...son.

My performance in Aladeen Jones and the Temple of Doom

My pockets are empty. I could poo.

Myself? What? How'?

Nadal, are you still there?

Nadal, you must help me get back into power.

NADAL: (ON PHONE) What are you doing?

NADAL: Mmm mmm! That's some good head!

Nadal! The Sub Saharans have discovered us!

Nadal?

Name it.

Never!

Never. It must be pointy.

Next!

Next!

Nice to meet you, Allison Burgers.

Nice to see you, too

No matter how crippled or black or female they are.

No one will recognize the body without this!

No, come on. This is like a real opportunity for me.

No, he is not my best friend!

No, I am not going to do that.

No, I know this!

No, I literally can't hear you.

No, I would never do that! Never! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that.

No, I'm going to Green World. It's over.

No, I've realized I don't want to be like my father!

No, it's a different person.

No, it's not. I know what a "C" means.

No, no, no, it's more of a power trip with me.

No, no, no, no! That's what we wanted!

No, no, no, no. She does not speak English.

No, no, no! It's not my beard.

No, no, no! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. No, no, no!

No, no, no! Zoey, Zoey, Zoey! No.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. Please, don't.

No, no.

No, no.

No, no. Stay, please.

No, Supreme Leader.

No, that's not the way to put it.

No, that's what I said, and you went crazy.

No, this is Bobby McFerrin. I told you this outside.

No, those are just rumors. Are you a homosexual?

No, what's your real name?

No, your guy wears an American flag sweatsuit and a sheriff's badge.

No, Zoey! What have I ever done wrong?

No!

No!

No!

No! Get it out of here!

NO! No!

No! No! Supreme Leader!

No! This traitor tried to kill me and had my beard removed!

No.

No.

No.

No. It sticks in the ground, and then kaboom.

No. That is not true.

No. Your time is up.

No... (SIGHS)

Nobody... It's stup...

Nonsense. They were research films.

Normally, I don't kiss a 10 year old boy's stomach. (LAUGHS)

Not a water birth, but I've seen a water death.

Not because her father is in the next room chained to a radiator

Not male ones. Female ones.

Nothing to do with me.

Now that is called payback!

Now who's being a Iacist?

Now, show me my nuclear weapons!

Now, slowly move your hand up and down.

Nuclear winter.

O M G.

Of course I don't want you to play black.

Of course I remember!

Of course I'm not. This is silly.

Of course! It is my job to be shot in the head.

Of Real Housewives of Shachahmahahfalimitahlicchl

Of the entire region.

Oh, be quiet.

Oh, he's not going to recover, sir. He's dead.

Oh, I can hear you now.

Oh, I'm sorry! Did I not get the Evite to your bar mitzvah?

Oh, it's been terrible! It got so bad that I made myself a back brace.

Oh, it's not amazing. It's just a little less shit.

Oh, lam from U.S.A.!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! There's a little goat eating the wire!

Oh, my...

Oh, my...

Oh, no!

Oh, she taught you, did she?

Oh, that is weird.

Oh, that's not bad. The Kandahar Cock Wrench.

Oh, the Fallujah Firehose!

Oh, this is Joseph.

Oh, wait. I got it. Humor. Right?

Oh, yeah, we're going to have a nice big salad. (SCREAMS)

Oh, yes! No, no.

Oh, you know what, there's some in the Earthquake Relief box

Oh, you're kidding. So then why did you bring three bananas?

Oh! No!

Oh. No, no. Thank you. Um...

Oh. So, um,

Oh. What do you do?

Oh...

Okay, Allison, you've got the head?

Okay, come with me.

Okay, compromise. Conical.

Okay, don't do that.

Okay, Eldridge's casket is laying in the chapel right now.

Okay, fine. I will help you. On one condition.

Okay, he's returning to the podium.

Okay, I'll do Filipino. I like to work, I like to talk.

Okay, only wife. We'll vote on it.

Okay, so, now we're getting somewhere.

Okay, thanks.

Okay, that came off as kind of offensive.

Okay!

Okay? You will take that job and you will work for her.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. (GRUNTS)

Okay. Don't.

Okay. good. All we need to do is slip into this chapel...

Okay. I tell you what, get back to work, Captain Hook!

Okay. I'm there.

Okay. Just throwing it out there.

Okay. Let's rehearse this. Role play, role play.

Okay. Maroush, give the goodie bag!

Okay. So, we gotta get down to business. Enough chit chat.

Okay. So, when we go to fly...

Okay. Tamir!

Okay. Tamir!

Okay. Time out! Time out.

Okay. Well, hey, Allison,

Okay. You know what?

OLYMPIC OFFICIAL ON SPEAKER: On your mark, get set.

On the first democratic constitution.

On, baby.

Once that constitution is signed,

One word, do not say. Is the exact word you're using now.

One, two...

Ooh!

Open this door!

Open to the future.

Or boys.

Or the highwahahtmaa fferrohshelechnichway.

Or they will vote to authorize military action.

Osama bin Laden's best friend?

Other than that fascist superchain Green World,

Our Supreme Leader is indisposed to answer your questions

Out. I have to clean. Come on, out you go, out you go.

Ow'

Oy vey!

Oyvey!

Piece of cake.

Please relate to him that there could be two funerals today.

Please stop. Please.

Please. Please help us. Please.

Popeye is, as the song tells us, a sailor man.

Praise be to the Creator!

President Prime Minister Admiral General Aladeen

Professor Bobeye, the one with the incredibly strong forearms

Professor Popeye is a cartoon.

Promise me you're going to ice?

Provided you do not use B.P.'s drilling rigs.

Quick!

Quick! Plan B! Plan B!

Remember, we're just two ordinary American tourists

Remember, you hate her.

REPORTER: What do you think of Admiral General Aladeen?

Right now we have to get on this helicopter

Right.

Right.

Round is not scary. Pointy is scary.

Saddam, Kim Jong, Cheney.

Screw it. Screw it! Screw it!

Send his wife some chocolate covered almond nuts

Seven minutes, sir.

Shalom?

Sharing a lighthearted moment with Chinese businessman, Xiang Lao.

Shaved ape.

She doesn't know.

She has the body shape of a 14 year old boy.

She tried to milk me!

She will not be cool with it

She's from El Salvador. She's a really useful member of our team.

Snack on my tiny raisin.

So either you want the truth or you want compliments. Decide!

So I can finish building my bomb.

So I was driving my 911 near the palace one day...

So instead you know what "rabbit" is in Chinese?

So let's not throw stones, okay?

So obviously I wanted to execute her.

So sorry, Supreme Leader.

So they'd see what you were doing to them.

So why don't you take the mafroom downstairs

So your name is like the sign. "Ladies Washroom"?

So, Allison, we're the only store in New York,

So, Wadiya will become a democracy.

So, yeah, this is my store!

So, you're going to make billions.

Some Nair and some female razors. Does anybody want to use it'?

Some of those reserves are in densely populated areas.

Some people wait a lifetime

Some people wait a lifetime

Some people wait a lifetime

Somebody help! My wife is in labor!

Somebody stop that man!

Someone's got a friend in Syria!

Sorry, I can't hear you.

Sorry, Sorry!

Sorry. I was...

Sorry. You want?

Standing on the edge of a bridge about to commit suicide?

Started rising up towards Heaven while playing a harp.

Still my asshole!

Still wearing Crocs?

Stop joking, all right? You've neverjerked off?

Stop talking to my vagina!

Stop that.

Such as the Empire State Building...

Suck it, loser.

Summon my generals.

Supreme Leader,

Supreme Leader, I think perhaps

Supreme Leader, let me explain to you.

Supreme Leader, the suite has been renovated to your specifications.

Supreme Leader!

Supreme Leader! The girls!

Sure. Yeah.

Swivel!

Take it out.

Take your penis out and put it in your hands.

Tamir is now speaking.

Tamir, it was you, you snake!

TAMIR: You have rehearsed the speech I prepared for you?

Tamir! Tamir!

Teach a man how to use his hand as a vagina,

Tell me you're not falling for this woman!

Text book.

Than a backseat torturer, but, please, come on.

Thank you so much for meeting me early, Mr' Ogden.

Thank you very much.

Thank you! How great is that show?

Thank you.

Thank you. No further questions.

Thank you. That's very kind of you. You're a very nice man.

Thanks. I just...

That are miss sized for his body.

That is a made up name.

That is called payback and it feels so good!

That is the answer. This is the plan.

That is very disrespectful to your leader.

That is very inappropriate.

That is your voice doing that noise. You have not hung up.

That might be the ambassador.

That sells your nation's specialty fruit, mafroom,

That stuff never sticks.

That wherever you go in the world,

That woman, you know her?

That won't be enough to make a difference.

That's a bit of a stereotype,

That's a made up name. What's your real name?

That's because she let me Aladeen in her face.

That's fine. I don't mind. It's great!

That's rude.

That's the Anal Umbrella. It's a good device, I grant you,

That's the wrong hole!

That's what I said! That's what I said the first time!

That's why you had me executed!

The Aladeen news?

The bald bastard who did all these terrible things to us!

The birthplace of AIDS.

The CEO of Green World does not drive a hybrid!

The chemicals in Green World produce

The chemicals in Green World produce

The contract is canceled.

The document is ready to be signed, Supreme Leader.

The envy of madmen everywhere!

The executioner, he is a member of the Resistance!

The flames of the righteous attack the unjust!

The good news is, your prostate is completely healthy.

The guy from the Lancaster is going to love this.

The line is still too heavy.

The man you are discussing is called Popeye.

The one with the "fuck me hooves."

The other day, I asked her to, you know,

The radicchio has been washed and sorted,

The reality is...

The shape of the missile has nothing to do with the payload delivery.

The shape of the missile top has nothing to do with aerodynamics.

The signing is in two days.

The Stasi?

The Supreme Beard! You will be cursed!

The U. N. Security Council voted

The United Nations demands that

The Wadiyan people love being oppressed!

Their helicopter tour of the Manhattan skyline was cut short

Their words really sound like what they're meant to be.

Then rip up the constitution in front of the whole world.

There is 10 more layers of cocksucker underneath.

There is no way we're going to get anywhere near this hotel

There was actually very little movement.

There was somebody who suffered a deformity like that.

There will be free press, women drivers, civil rights!

There's Hannah over here.

There's something that I want to tell you.

They are the universal symbol of a man who has given up hope!

They are trying to pleasure you.

They kiss mine.

They knew exactly what they were doing.

They pronounce them as L's.

They pronounce them as L's.

They were not. Those boys were crying.

They will lift the sanctions.

They will think that it is a huge robot dildo flying toward them'

This constitution

This is going to be amazing for you.

This is great stuff.

This is Mr. Clayton.

This is my cousin. I see you've all met him.

This is my weapon? I will be a laughing stock!

This is nice. Or lovely.

This is silly.

This is the Beard of Doom rocket'?

This is the fifth time you've mentioned her today. What is going on?

This is the Free Earth Collective.

This is the place for you. This way. Here we go.

This will put a smile on the faces of the enemy.

Those are breasts? I thought you were a boy.

Those are lovely flowers.

Those boys had their eyes open.

Those gangsters at the UN want me to address them.

Though he has been staying in my guest house

Three of them killed themselves!

Throw them down immediately!

Time for bed.

To "Aladeen" instead of "Aladeen."

To address the General Assembly of the United Nations.

To attack ls... Oh, boy.

To authorize NATO air strikes against Wadiya,

To be able to provide all of the catering...

To be used for peaceful purposes. (SNICKERING)

To deliver a small, subtle performance.

To life.

To tell you that the world shall kneel before our great nation.

To thank you for what you did today at the police station,

To the hairy titted ape woman.

Today,

Tommy Lee Jones let me roll it in my fingers for two hundred grand!

Tomorrow is your big speech.

Trying to force it on the Israeli delegation.

Twenty dollars a day for Internet? What the fuck?

Ugh.

Uh, let me check.

Uh...

Um...

Um... Jerking off.

Uncle Tamir, this thing is an idiot.

Uncle Tamir.

Unless Admiral General Aladeen agrees to address the U. N. in person.

Up on the roof, we have this amazing organic garden...

Us.

Useful as what? A coat hanger?

Very good. Now go upstairs

Very possibly.

Very well. Put him through the process, okay?

VIDEO GAME ATHLETE: Meshuggener!

VVhy?

Wadiya will be open to the world.

Wadiya will remain a dictatorship!

Wait, her company is catering the event. She has a security pass!

Wait, I can see the head! I can see the head!

Wait, this will convince you.

Wait, You look very familiar.

Wait! Wait! Where are we going?

Wait.

Wait.

Wait. That is how you intend to get me across to the Lancaster?

WAITER: Very sorry. My apologies. Enjoy.

Wake up! Good morning, Nadal!

Was outstanding.

Was so powerful

We all know about this from the age of 12, 13.

We all live here in Little Wadiya.

We are a pure democracy,

We are a vegan, feminist, non profit cooperative operating

We are here only to pay our respects to a great man.

We are just days away from testing the new missiles.

We are just months away from refining weapons grade uranium,

We are two months away from enriching weapons grade uranium

We can't!

We hate him. We hate him.

We have a problem.

We have no nuclear weapons'?

We made them have their eyes open.

We must get that contract back.

We shot the wrong man.

We vomit, and we spit and we don't want him.

We will see about that.

We'll be free to sell oil rights to the Jalabiya desert.

We'll take her, we'll take her.

We're going to America!

We're going to send your wife some almonds.

We're going to take this helicopter tour

We're going to walk over there, act very inconspicuous.

We're gonna have the viewing in a few minutes.

We've got a lot of customers. You may want to go wash up.

Well, I can if I killed you.

Well, I have to say, he's got their attention.

Well, not always the victim.

Well, of course.

Well, that is a particular weakness of yours.

Well, that's fine, because I'm not an Arab.

Well, to balance out the weight from the other one.

Well, you can't be the manager, because I am the manager.

Well, you download songs illegally from the Internet.

Well, you're all A rabs to me, the blacks, the ****,

What a fucking idiot.

What are "civil rights"?

What are you doing here? And what has happened to your beard?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing'? This man is an imposter!

What are you...

What do you make of that, Denise?

What do you make of that?

What do you mean, "I picked it up"? Who picks up Yiddish?

What do you mean? You knew about this?

What do you think that means?

What else you got'? I'm gonna love the next thing!

What I don't want to do is send the body to the family

What I wanted to tell you was this.

What is he doing?

What is it?

What is that, a brick?

What is that?

What is wrong with you, man?

What is wrong with you? Get it out of here!

What is your name?

What is your real name?

What is your real name?

What makes you think he can do the job?

What now?

What sorcery is this?

What the fuck did you call me?

What the fuck does that even mean'?

What the fuck'?

What was the question?

What will Aladeen do next?

What will be a new chapter in their country.

What will you do with all those dollars?

What would you say to General Aladeen if he were watching this?

What?

What?

What? Okay, look. We need to talk for a minute.

What? Why?

What's that now?

What's wrong with Crocs?

What's your last name?

Whatever the scandal you went through,

Whatever, dude. Who are you,

Whatever.

When I was going to assassinate you.

When the thought of someone's decapitated head upsets you,

When will the Supreme Leader be better?

When you're not elbow deep in my pussy!

Where are the rebel bases? Where are the rebel bases?

Where are you taking me to? The **** Center?

Where did you get your diversity and sensitivity training, huh?

Where in about 20 minutes,

Where is Nuclear Nadal?

Where is the Head of my Nuclear Program and Procurer of Women?

Where is the Supreme Leader?

Where we do water birth. Have you ever seen a water birth?

Where'd you get those relics?

Where's the trash can'?

Which is scheduled to be signed

Which one'?

Who are you? An Aladeen sympathizer?

Who cares if it's pointy?

Who cares?

Who's that?

Whoa, I can't believe it's happening to me

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Whoa, whoa! Occupied!

Whoa! No, what? Why would you even do that?

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

Whoo!

Why do you have Vita Coco water?

Why does nobody ever tell me anything'?

Why is it always the good guys'? Why?

Why is this happening to me?

Why would I care about such a trivial detail?

Will not land in Israel

With electrodes attached to his nipples.

With one particular racial group and no one would complain!

With shades of 9/11,

Within an anti racist, anti oppressive framework

Without a security pass. This is ridiculous.

WOMAN: I can't push any more!

Won 98.8% of the vote.

Would get very sooty faces

Would it kill him to wear a tie!?

Wow, Was it moving?

Wow!

Yeah, how 'bout looking in my eye when I'm speaking to you?

Yeah, of course!

Yeah, right.

Yeah, you touch your own ma/awach? Ugh! Disgusting! Yuck!

Yeah! Well, it is in Wadiya.

Yeah? Hold on one second.

Yeah.

Yes, I've seen them all! They're all terrible movies!

Yes, it will. I haven't gone since Wadiya.

Yes, Osama.

Yes, Supreme Leader!

Yes, they ****d me in a very unprofessional way.

Yes, you do, because you gave them to yourself!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! Listen, if you won't come down from there for yourself,

Yes! Who Shot Loger Labbit was a huge hit in China!

Yes! Whoa!

YES.

Yes. But when is the General coming'?

Yes. I went to Amherst.

Yes... the 911.

Yo! Average American shopper!

Yo! You are stocking the shelves.

You address their concerns about our nuclear program,

You are a terrible actor.

You are alive'?

You are gonna swear that you're in Wadiya.

You are HIV Aladeen.

You are making a fool out of me!

You are on the cash register.

You are on the cash register.

You are out of your mind. You're insane!

You are right, Nadal.

You are such a schmuck!

You are the last great dictator!

You can't be a Chinese person on this thing, okay?

You could fill your prisons

You could have rigged elections.

You could help your rich friends

You could ignore the needs of the poor for health care and education.

You could let 1% of the people have all the nation's wealth.

You could lie about why you go to war.

You could use the media to scare the people

You could wiretap phones, you could torture foreign prisoners.

You did it! You did it!

You died protecting me, Efawadh.

You do. You care if it's pointy.

You don't got a pass, you don't get in.

You don't have to give any dirty diamonds.

You don't have to touch it.

You don't win four Wadiyan Golden Globes for nothing.

You enter the Lancaster as a member of her staff.

You go to the bathroom after Osama,

You got to ice.

You had Nadal executed, Supreme Leader.

You have a center for **** here?

You have a very big barn.

You have broken my heart into Aladeen pieces.

You have to let me in. You don't understand.

You have two bricks?

You just have to go to the bathroom after him.

You just paid this month's rent!

You know what, I like this guy despite his liberal views.

You know what? Is it a crime to care about your job?

You know what? Let's get you back to the collective, okay?

You know what? You people, you make me sick!

You know who else makes a great team?

You know, (SIGHS) this is totally depressing.

You know, he's clearly implying that the U.N. must fall before him.

You know, he's got like an artist inside himself,

You know, honestly, I don't even want to show you anything anymore'

You know, I don't even think you want to be tortured.

You know, I don't know if he's going to get better.

You know, I really want to do some cuddling.

You know, me and you are quite a team.

You know, sometimes you say some very hurtful things.

You know, we'd love to have you work here if you ever wanted to.

You know, when we think of him, we... (MIMICS VOMITING)

You know, while you are here, you should try to see some of the sights...

You know, Zoey is thinking of opening

You know, Zoey, you were great back there.

You lied to me!

You made me hold one of their eyes open,

You mean I never executed anybody?

You mean my double.

You mean your Porsche?

You might as well put sweatpants on

You must have many happy goats, hmm?

You need to leave now.

You need to lose weight immediately!

You need to put that finger away.

You need to touch yourself.

You now have herpes.

You promise not to steal again?

You push the button, "Boop!"

You put your hand on your bilbul and you rub it,

You reinstate me as Head of Nuclear Research,

You remember that was when he gave me power

You saved a little person's life.

You see a Middle Easterner on an aircraft

You seem educated.

You should try that.

You think this man looks like me?

You ugly horse! (LAUGHS)

You were just using me to get access to that hotel!

You will find the double, switch with him

You will have control of Wadiya's southern oil fields.

You will let me build a round nuclear weapon.

You won't be talking so much smack with this up your butt.

You, come on. This'll be fun.

You, senile Romanian accountant.

You're a murderer!

You're bizzare, I'm going to have to change the channels now.

You're going to be in big trouble. Here he is.

You're going to kill me and your white shirt.

You're gonna get chara on your trousers.

You're just, like, taking all the fun out of it!

You're not like mafroom at all. You're like an onion.

You're really fucking me here, man!

You're sheriff of American douche town!

You're still the best golfer in the world.

You're the victim of police abuse.

You're the Wadiyan dissident who was standing up to that asshole Aladeen.

You've been so cool about it.

You've got a dick. I knew it.

You've got real chutzpah saying that!

Your father would be ashamed of you!

Your Filipino is the same as your Chinese!

Your media would appear free

Zipline across, kill the double,

Zoey thinks I'm at yoga.

Zoey, I'm attracted to you in a really fucked up way.

Zoey, the baby's stuck. I need you to put your hand in and help me.

ZOEY: And I know what I'm talking about

ZOEY: Hi, Viktor.

ZOEY: Oh, my gosh, that was so crazy!

ZOEY: Okay, um...

ZOEY: You were so amazing down there.

Zoey!

Zoey!

Zoey!

Zoey!

Zoey!

Zoey! You have changed my life!

Zoey?

Zoey?

Zoey.

Zoey.

Zoeyn.

ALADEEN: No, no, no! Open the door now!

Allison, they need your help. Come on. Okay, fine.

Allison? Right. Allison.

And from the head of a great man! What?

Bobeye. He is not a professor.

Come on, let's go. I need to go to work. I feel so sad!

Come on. Allison, that's not funny.

Doni I like the shit, I do the kids.

Etra... (GRUNTS)

Go there. Okay. Here we go.

Going in again. Okay, good. (SCREAMING)

Going in again. WOMAN: Okay, good.

Good bye! NADAL: Stop, stop, wait!

Great! Whatever! (LAUGHS) I know!

Have you consulted Professor Bobeye? Who?

Hello? I have some very good news.

Here's what you do. Okay'

I swear, I don't even like her at all. You don't like her?

I'm sorry? Let me show you.

I'm sorry. Put it right there on the right side.

I've got the head. Okay, it's coming out.

Is he okay? He's fine.

It's "labbit." It's not "Iabbit"!

It's not Bobby Brown. Hey“.

Just a moment! What you doin' in there?

Listen, Tamir is coming right now. (SIRENS WAILING)

My name is Zoey. I don't care.

Nadal, are you still there? I win'

Negar. ******? Nagur? No, no.

No, don't be scared. Put it in. Okay. Okay.

No, I said Nuga... One dozen times.

No, Mr. Ogden. Remember, I have to pay that...

No, no, no, no, don't fall. I'm not doing anything.

No, no, no! (SCREAMING)

No, no, no. What is that?

No. ALADEEN: But, please.

No... Well, thank you very much.

Not really. Yes, l am! I'm like mafroom.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh! Push in.

Oh, one last thing. Mmm?

Okay, great, okay. Okay, good.

Okay. I have to go now.

Okay. Sit and eat.

Okay. Deal. Deal.

Okay. No problem. This has to work.

Ooh, well done! Oh!

Ooh, you smell bad. I know.

Ooh! That is a made up name.

Ooh! That is a made up name.

Ow! Okay

Personal. Thank you. Thank you again.

Please, no, no. Self juicing. Filth!

Qkay Hmm?

Round. Round. Teat shaped.

Sorry. Oh, of course.

Sorry. WAITER: It's okay, sit.

Supreme Grocer. Hmm?

That's it! No,

That's sweet. What is it'? Yeah.

There's a number in the name? Mmm.

Uh uh. Mmm hmm.

Wait a minute. This is... Whoa.

Wait. What are you doing?

What? You just put your fist up the wrong hole.

What? No... Come on! Put it in!

What? Okay, okay, okay! ALADEEN: Hurry, hurry!

What's wrong? I'm sorry.

Where are you taking me to? To Brooklyn!

Where is that coming from? What?

Where'd you get that? I built it.

Whoa, whoa! No?

Why are you speaking Yiddish? I picked it up.

With this hand right here! Ew!

Yeah. But deep down I'm nice.

Yes, Supreme Grocer. (CLICKS TONGUE)

Yes. (EXHALES)

You know, I... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're being Iacist now. I'm not being racist!

"Captain Hook." It's funny. No, it's not funny.

(ALADEEN LAUGHING) Oh, great!

(CROWD GASPS IN DISGUST) Oh!

(GROANS) Here's the deal.

(GROANS) (GAsPs)

(IMITATES EXPLOSION) Oh!

(KNIFE SHARPENING) No!

(LAUGHS) NADAL: No, no, no, no, no, no!

(LAUGHS) You have such a small stomach.

so I decided not to do it. No.

...And it will turn Wadiya into a

...And the mafroom for this signing.

...I bet I can count down from five faster than you can!

"No! Why? Aah!"

"Ohhh."

"Ohhh." See'? She goes "Ohhh" all the time. Watch.

"Oppressed at last! Oppressed at last!

(ACTION MOVIE MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALADEEN MIMICS DIAL TONE SOUNDING)

(ALADEEN MOANING)

(ALL CHEERING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN DELIGHT)

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN HORROR)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(ALL GASPING)

(AMAZED LAUGH)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

(BLEATS)

(BLOWING WHISTLE)

(BOTH CHANTING TRIUMPHANTLY)

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(BOTH SPEAKING WADIYAN)

(CAMERA CLICKING)

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

(CELL PHONE PLAYING FUNKYTOWN)

(CHEERING)

(CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) Sorry.

(CHUCKLING) Of course I'm serious.

(CLATTERING)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CROWD CONTINUES CHANTING)

(CRYING)

(DEFECATING)

(DOOR BUZZES)

(DOOR BUZZING)

(EFAWADH GRUNTING)

(ENGINES REVVING)

(EVERYBODY HURTS PLAYING IN ARABIC)

(EXCLAIMS)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(EXHALES LOUDLY)

(EXHALES)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GIBBERISH)

(GIRL SHRIEKS)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(GOATS BLEATING)

(GREETS IN WADIYAN)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS) No wonder you're a Mac Genius.

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS) Okay

(HORNS HONKING)

(ILA NZOUR NEBRA PLAYING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) Good one.

(LAUGHS) What? Look...

(LET'S GET IT ON PLAYING IN ARABIC)

(MAN CHANTING IN ARABIC)

(MAN NARRATING ON TV)

(MIMICS BOUNCE)

(MIMICS EXPLOSION)

(MIMICS MISSILE)

(MIMICS MISSILE)

(MOANS LOUDLY)

(MOANS)

(MONEY'S ON THE DRESSER PLAYING)

(MOOING)

(MUFFLED CRIES OF RELIEF)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(PANTING)

(PEOPLE SHOUTING IN PROTEST)

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(PHONE RINGING)

(SCOFFS)

(SCREAMING FRIGHTFULLY)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING) It's coming out!

(SCREAMS ONSCREEN)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS) No, no, don't do it!

(SHRIEKS) No, no, no!

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) Oh, no. We have to get you to the **** Center.

(SIGHS) that is love.

(SIGHS) Well, thank you.

(SILENCE)

(SINGING) Ebony and ivory

(SINGING) Sp/ish splash I was taking a bath!

(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNICKERS) Don't touch it. Don't touch it.

(SOFTLY) Thanks.

(SPEAKING WADIYAN)

(SPEAKS MOCK ARABIC)

(SPEAKS MOCK ARABIC)

(SPEAKS MOCK ARABIC)

(SPECTATORS CHEERING)

(SPITS) Yuck!

(SQUEALS)

(STAMMERS) Tamir...

(THE NEXT EPISODE PLAYING IN ARABIC)

(THE SONG OF ADMIRAL GENERAL SERGEANT ALADEEN PLAYING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHIMPERS)

(WHINING)

(WHISTLING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(YELLS)