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Home > John Bender - The Breakfast...
Are you a virgin? I'll bet you $1,000,000 that you are.
Bordeaux What? You get along with your parents. Well, if I say yes, I'm an idiot, right? You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.
But face it, you're a Neo, Maxi zoomed Weeby. What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?
Chicks cannot hold in smoke, that's what it is.
Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? No, Mr. Johnson.
Don't you? Ever compare yourself to me? OK? You got everything and I got shit. Fucking Rapunzel, right? School would probably fucking shut down if you didn't show up. Queenie isn't here. I like tho...
Door. Yeah, you are a parent's wet dream, OK? Well, that's a problem. Look, I could see you getting all bunched up for them, making you wear these kind of clothes.
Forgot my pencil.
I'm not fat, well, not a present, but I could see you really pushing maximum density. You see, I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people. There's fat people that were bor...
I've seen finger gestures from such a pristine girl, not that pristine.
It's unavoidable. Just happens. What happens? When you grow up. Your heart dies. Who cares? I care.
Shit. Great idea, Jagger. Fuck you. John.
So Ahab, can I call my doobage? You're wasted. You're not going to blaze up in here.
That was great, Claire. My image of you is totally blown.
The naked blonde What's going to a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 2 foot salami under the other? She lays the boot on the table. Bartender says. I suppose you won't be needing a drink. Naked...
We'll cross through the lab and then we'll double back. You better be right. If Vernon cuts us off, it's your fault, asshole. What do you say? Where are we going?
We're dead. No, just me. What do you mean? Get back to the library, Keith, you're doing it on.
What are we having? Just your standard regular lunch, I guess. Milk soup. That's apple juice I can read. PB and J with the crusts cut off. Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch.
What do you care what I think anyway? I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference. I may as well not even exist at this school, remember?
What's that? Sushi. Sushi. Rice, raw fish and seaweed. You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth and you're going to eat that. Can I eat? I don't know. Give it a try.
What's your name? What's yours? Claire. Claire. Claire. It's a family name. Oh, it's a fat girl's name. Oh, thank you. You're welcome.
Where's your lunch? You're wearing it. You're nauseating.
Why do you have to insult everybody? I'm being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference. Yeah, well, he's got a name. Yeah. Yeah. What's your name? Brian See my condolences.
You know something, man? We weren't in school right now. I'd waste you. Can you hear this? You want me to turn it up? You feel it's a meatball.
You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fucking year at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes, the old man Grammy said. Hey, smoke up Johnny. OK, so go home and c...
You're a shit. Don't do that to her. You swear to God you wouldn't laugh. Am I laughing? You fucking prick.