Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Season 4 Edit

A "skating accident."

A 4,000 word personal essay.

A balloon arch.

A bejeweled egg worth $20 million.

A big difference in the overall level of drugs

A binder full of planning.

A bit of a Glashutte in the baño.

A Bordeaux enthusiast who sometimes dabbles

A bowl full of cake batter.

A bunch of miserable losers?

A C.I. who says he's got an agreement with Marco Severino.

A Canadian VHS copy of "Die Hard."

A car's gotta have a sexy name, like Brooke,

A child and his father threw up on me.

A child could pass the frickin' MCAT in here

A child tying his tie.

A cop and a criminal working together.

A cop did a bad thing

A crack at this?

A crossword factory?

A diaper during a test? That's ridiculous, I mean...

A double Tracker.

A finger tip.

A Fornax Radiant Comfort System, and her name is Jacinta.

A garbage truck!

A great viral video like that

A habit he picked up from a prostitute in Marseille,

A horse once.

A key piece of evidence.

A little "welcome back to the precinct" hazing.

A little convo about the Nine Nine.

A little lame out here. I mean, you got this cool sword,

A major drug ring.

A man came to me last week

A man I had put my trust in,

A man with a thick New Jersey accent

A manhunt.

A mid range one.

A mind freak!

A moment of your time, please.

A Mr. Bugs Bunny.

A murderer that just stole a ton of cars.

A museum of retainers and headgear?

A new best friend, and his name...

A new heroin supplier and get Severino

A newspaper article about it,

A nice bowl of miso soup.

A Noine Noine!

A Noine Noine!

A one, a two, a one, two, three...

A parental crisis.

A passable knowledge of their operation.

A plot in the family cemetery

A precinct whose officers would never do to you

A prison van overturned on Nevins Street.

A reason to live forever and...

A risk to the case.

A romantic trip to the town of...

A satellite link up, and she plugs in

A snide voicemail about kindergarten statistics.

A space that is approximately 50 feet by 40 feet.

A steam locomotive whistle on a diesel train.

A ten year old had his bike stolen.

A thing you told him several times.

A trophy's not really proof.

A truck just like this almost killed me today.

A type of pasta?

A videotape of the whole event, 39 eye witnesses,

A winter apparel company that donates snow to the poor.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! I'm getting bounced around like a pinball!

Aah! The room's hot. I'm blowing out.

Aah! They survived the fall!

About a major health code violation.

About a warehouse in Crown Heights.

About an ongoing police investigation.

About being a parent... that was so easy.

About DC Parlov.

About Detective Diaz, Channel 12

About getting me more responsibility.

About his friends and can sense when something is off with them.

About how you did the right thing for the city.

About leaving laptops lying around.

About my speech that didn't work for you.

About my unborn king or queen,

About parenting has no idea what they're doing

About personal matter altogether.

About something, man? Maybe something in your career?

About stereotyping?

About taking advantage of wine lovers.

About that... I think we should talk.

About the non disclosure agreement

About the XTR XP 49789WJ8 09 Xtreme four wheel drive Z Cat.

About this about this picture? That I'm not in it.

About to eat a hoagie. Is that mayonnaise or sweat?

About whoever my daughter is dating?

About why my case got reassigned.

About your father and race?

About your sacred oath, you'd see that he's

About yourself as planned?

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely. Thanks.

According to a recent study, the physical act of smiling

According to serial number.

Acting on that lead, 50 federal agents and I

Actually I borrowed $3,000

Actually, can you give us a second?

Actually, I do care.

Actually, I hit a ton of stuff on the way over here.

Actually, I shouldn't. It'll make me all hyper.

Actually, I'm good.

Actually, Teddy, this is not a good time.

Actually, you know what?

Actually, you know what? 55 feet by 40 feet.

Actually...

Adding more scorpions.

Adios, constant pool of sweat in my taint!

Adios, weird Juggalo encampment!

Adjusting when we first got here

Admit it, Gina. There was no celebrity.

Adrian has a ranch in the Andes

Adrian, be quiet.

Affect the decision I have to make

After a months long investigation by hero cop

After all the times I've seen it?

After backup arrives, and not until then.

After summer ended, they never replied to any of my letters.

After that, I got sort of involved with his sister.

After this.

After Wendivil betrayed Prince Clevang, murdered him,

After you stormed out last night.

After your father died,

Again, "meat fork" is fun,

Again, when this is done, Hitchcock.

Again!

Again.

Against some author named DC Parlov,

Aggravated assault, attempted murder...

Agh, but I should stay in the moment.

Agree to disagree. I say you won.

Agreed. But that's not what I meant.

Ah ha, very funny. No "soc."

Ah ha! "Noice."

Ah, A.D., Announcing Department.

Ah, ah. It's actually pronounced "Jarca a."

Ah, but then I'll forget.

Ah, check it out: Ducking under police tape.

Ah, come on.

Ah, Commissioner Grayson.

Ah, dairy.

Ah, drink it in, Peralta.

Ah, Genevieve calls it "the plume of Boyle."

Ah, hey, Chuck.

Ah, I also hate the sound

Ah, I bet you Floppy Foot will loan you his bike.

Ah, I got shot down smuggling ammo to a rebel group,

Ah, I love tonight.

Ah, I noticed your pupils have stopped pulsating.

Ah, it stands to reason.

Ah, it's not about him, Jake.

Ah, it's too similar to boinking.

Ah, man, it stinks you've gotta watch him...

Ah, nasal douche.

Ah, no thanks, just browsing.

Ah, our first case.

Ah, screw this.

Ah, so cool. Anyways, we're real cops

Ah, the adorable baby pictures, the embarrassing stories.

Ah, the Boyles are here. Good tidings.

Ah, trying to pick the lock, El Capitán?

Ah, very noice.

Ah, what was I talking about?

Ah, what?

Ah, when we went to that water park,

Ah, yes. Now, that's what I call

Ah, you know what I mean.

Ah, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna get a new partner.

Ah, you're really hurting me. Please, stop hurting me.

Ah, yuck, that sounds so formal.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Damn it.

Ah! Garbanzo marinara!

Ah! No, look, okay.

Ah! The rats chewed through the sprinkler pipe.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. All right...

Aha! I found the earrings!

Aha! Yeah, dog! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Aha. Wow. It's like brunch is crazy enough on its own,

Ahem.

Ahh, that is great news. Thank you so much.

Ahh, wha?

Ahh, wow,

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ahh.

Ahh.

Ahhh, I saw inside of you.

Ahhh!

Ain't no thang.

Ain't she a beaut?

Airport. I'm flying to Argentina.

Aka Buffalo Party Department.

Alarm went off at 11:43, and security arrived at 11:46.

Alas, we are not cowabunga people.

Alcohol gives me the courage to sing.

All aboard the Jeffords Victory Express!

All aboard the Terryliner.

All aboard!

All about that white noise, baby.

All about the omelet bar station.

All around the apartment.

All available units respond.

All civilians are being evacuated.

All hail Lord Terry, giver of life.

All he did was pee on a couple snowmen.

All I have to say is,

All I wanted to do was sit in my room alone

All is not lost. We can still fix this.

All it took was six bottles of dish soap.

All mortals tremble before her wrath.

All of En Vogue's "Free Your Mind."

All of my case files, lot of photos.

All of them, you win.

All of us together

All over yourselves when you see him.

All right everyone, as you know,

All right, all right, hold on. Look, there's a Latvian gang,

All right, and then we're gonna pee.

All right, bad news.

All right, be quiet! Everybody, be quiet!

All right, Bill. The time is now.

All right, Captain.

All right, choo choo!

All right, detectives, here are your room assignments.

All right, dismissed.

All right, dude. Keep it in your pants.

All right, everybody ready?

All right, everybody, just relax.

All right, everyone go get dressed.

All right, everyone. Listen up.

All right, fine, I will put down my weapon,

All right, fine, yes, I'll admit it, it is pretty cool.

All right, Fiske, Jones, Thompkins...

All right, food is ready, decorations are set,

All right, get outta here!

All right, Gina, get your stuff.

All right, give it up for Charles.

All right, guys.

All right, Haley, thank you for that.

All right, head to the back. You're going to jail.

All right, here it is.

All right, here's the plan... We stage a fight.

All right, I know you're just trying to hurt my feelings,

All right, I like it. Don't tell me.

All right, I love you, Charles. I love you, Gina.

All right, I need you guys to assemble this jigsaw puzzle

All right, I think I'm good on this.

All right, I'll use my own.

All right, I'm gonna call the local police

All right, I'm in,

All right, I'm ready to go, Rachel.

All right, just breathe.

All right, let me text Holt.

All right, let's do this.

All right, let's get on this case.

All right, let's get out of here.

All right, let's party!

All right, let's rally the troops.

All right, man. It's your money.

All right, Marv,

All right, no more questions. Only statements

All right, not to special daddies who put the time in.

All right, once we get to the Fun Zone,

All right, Sam, well, I'm happy to hear that.

All right, Santiago, damn.

All right, see ya.

All right, so I go to the first case... smash...

All right, so just get him a different present,

All right, someone's gotta go out there

All right, thank you, drone. That'll be all.

All right, that's it. You've left me no choice.

All right, that's Severino's restaurant.

All right, then stand up.

All right, they're taking the other boxes...

All right, think. if you were Amy, where would you be right now?

All right, two things. One, we're out of chips.

All right, we gotta make the bust now.

All right, we gotta split up and search the hotel.

All right, we have an announcement to make.

All right, we'll just go to Five Four.

All right, we're looking for 381 Smith Street.

All right, when we get there

All right, you get to the exam, I'll take care of Jake.

All right, you guys got me.

All right, you're clearly not listening to me.

All right!

All right! Let's show Rosa what we got.

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. I'm in.

All right. Oh, time to turn in.

All right. This is gonna hurt

All rise for the honorable Judge Marinovich.

All rise for the honorable Judge Marinovich.

All the fugitives by the time you two show up.

All the T's in "Skyfire" are silent.

All the way down to his favorite fro yo flavor...

All the way from Holt's office to the elevator.

All these years like an idiot!

All those reporters really messed up.

All we have in there are toys from the movie "Kazaam,"

All we need is, like, a blacksmith.

All you gotta do is close your nostril when you go down.

All: Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down.

All. Of. It.

Allow me to introduce Mister Sergeant Terry Jeffords.

Allowed something else to survive, you know?

Almost always face a backlash,

Almost as much as they love seeing my feet.

Almost as much as we hate the MTA.

Almost looked like your fingers were actually touching.

Already did.

Also during wine club.

Also I don't like waking up super early in the morning...

Also it probably goes without saying,

Also what was the name of the soap store again?

Also you can talk to Holt. He is not on the phone.

Also, Coral Palms PD found your marshal

Also, Gary said that the studio approved us as producers.

Also, I spiked your gum with caffeine.

Also, I'm gonna have to pee while I hold you at gunpoint.

Also, I'm pretty upset with him

Also, in just 14 hours Amy put together

Also, Kevin's friend Margo is here,

Also, one of us yarfed all over himself after the class.

Also, there's no way she even knows I waited.

Also, unrelated...

Also...

Also... ew.

Although don't kiss anyone else.

Although that might appeal to Anne.

Although the Seven Four has a significant advantage.

Although, I only see her at work events,

Although, last night he did ask me to tell him

Although, pretty sure my ribs are broken,

Although, you know what,

Always count on no matter what... Boyle being there for me...

Always.

Am gonna carol my heart out.

Am I just a piece of meat to you?

Am I the subject of a punking?

America's stinky butt.

Ames, how would you like to take

Ames, I've always known you were gonna be my boss.

Among my many, many, many skills,

Amy already went over this.

Amy has not dated her.

Amy is going to be very angry, maybe even angrier

Amy moves in with me. I lord it over her.

Amy said you were a crack up, but I had no idea.

Amy Santiago, will you...

Amy Santiago...

Amy writes, "Leaving the virgin festival..."

Amy, come on.

Amy, didn't you tell him to his face

Amy, don't say things like that.

Amy, I am an unlicensed doula.

Amy, I loved you.

Amy, listen to me very carefully.

Amy, since you're last year's champion, you go first.

Amy, someone lost your pen, girl.

Amy, there are nine hardened criminals

Amy, wait!

Amy, we have all the same interests.

Amy, when the opportunity presents itself

Amy, will you taste this batter?

Amy...

Amy's friend at HQ heard that maybe

Amy's naked

Amy's not here.

Amy's on the move. And I'm walking,

Amy's, like, physically incapable of being mad at you.

An auditor will arrive shortly.

An evenly stained deck.

An exterminator's outfit?

An extra $2,000.

An interesting article in a scientific journal.

An office in the back. Also, great chest hair.

An office in the back. Also, great chest hair.

An over texter.

And "Cracked" magazine. Ah, they're both so good.

And "judicium," which means "to judge."

And 5% more physically affectionate.

And a bowling ball fell on my face.

And a dime.

And a disaster for the precinct,

And a dry is a smart boy.

And a gun?

And a madman wants us dead.

And a Mexican restaurant with a sombrero on it.

And a puppy dog took your order?

And a statue of Tyrese riding a dolphin.

And agree with whatever he said last.

And all it did was scar our family for years and years.

And all logic flies out the window.

And also a few tools

And also, yes, we are different people,

And also, you always smell just a little bit like vanilla.

And apologize for saying he

And apparently she loves you.

And apparently they also received hundreds of others

And as a man, I'd like to apologize

And as I'm shame smoking, I'm seeing...

And as it turns out when I was a kid

And as of right now,

And at least we're going out in a blaze of glory.

And back in Brooklyn.

And beat him to a pulp in front of them.

And before we go home.

And being invited to a party at George Clooney's villa,

And Best in Show goes to the Wire Fox Terrier.

And burned their house down.

And buy whatever we want.

And by the way, her name's not Gertie.

And call it a pizza dilla... What you think?

And can I validate your parking?

And Captain Holt won't be able to get you out of this one.

And Charles and Amy.

And consider not arresting our moms.

And could be anywhere.

And creep it up a little, bud!

And cuts the turtle's head off?

And cuts the turtle's head off?

And deleting it instead?

And deserves to have those needs...

And despite our natural desire to stop everything,

And Detective Jake Peralta of the NYPD.

And Detective Peralta,

And disappear again.

And do you know what type of tanning bed I could get

And don't worry, I understand.

And doorn't ruin my dreams!

And download the file.

And eat the hair off her head.

And for aiding in the capture of George Judy,

And get a job.

And get all the personal info on the class of 2003

And get stopped by a bad cop.

And get the 411 on the UTI. BRB.

And getting out of the car? Cool, cool, cool, cool.

And getting that video back

And give myself a four minute head start.

And give you guys whatever you need.

And go out there and make Teddy feel

And got separated, so we turned on Find My Friends

And got surgical supplies.

And gots to watch my "Michael and Kelly."

And grotesque. Probably should've

And guess what I found on it.

And guess what, the nanny did it.

And have a direct conversation,

And have kids... Anything from dispatch?

And have the gall to ask me to give you $10,000 for it?

And Hawkins will do whatever she's gonna do.

And he doesn't even use it right.

And he doesn't get stressed out about calendars.

And he finally looked me up in the system

And he loves you both more than anything in the world.

And he says he's never heard of either one of you.

And he sent me this!

And he wants his ponytail back"?

And he wants to take me to a fancy lunch at...

And he was about to give up... Tell him, guy.

And he was supposed to be, like, a security guard, only...

And he'll have a "There's Work Tomorrow

And he's giving us an extra day to review the new evidence.

And he's gonna be super cool.

And he's my worst guy.

And he's not a doctor. He's a pharmacist.

And he's not in trouble,

And he's prevailed every single time.

And he's probably camped out on the street

And head for the airport,

And hearing about every explicit detail of your sex life

And help me take Mr. Parlov's statement?

And her motorcycle helmet.

And here comes Jake! Whoo!

And hey, you'll get a cool, new partner too, right?

And hid it out on the stoop.

And his eyes are perma crossed.

And his smoking hot wife.

And how about you, Charles?

And how am I supposed to get all the way up there?

And how do you propose to pull that off?

And how I'm way better at them than I thought I'd be.

And how would you describe the Lieutenant?

And how years from now,

And hurl projectiles at the MTA.

And I blacked out. Did I get her number?

And I bragged about it all morning.

And I came down with a big ol' Dianne Wiest infection.

And I came here to repair a skee ball machine

And I can stay here and take care of you, okay?

And I can't do that without my partner.

And I can't get 'em to stop.

And I can't think of one damn reason why!

And I can't. I'm old.

And I could see something going on with us later,

And I couldn't stop thinking about my daughters.

And I did.

And I didn't have a partner because ever since Boyle

And I didn't have my badge on me.

And I didn't want to leave the computer behind

And I don't know if you've noticed,

And I even did your suggested reading

And I feel like we're barreling towards a misunderstanding.

And I found Captain Latvia.

And I found us... a dream case.

And I freaked out hard.

And I genuinely believe that you could be night manager

And I have a plan.

And I have agreed to fire

And I have to use a cane, and, yes, the one thing I could

And I know exactly where it's hidden:

And I know what that means because I'm French,

And I know you are,

And I like baseball.

And I love him so much.

And I love it.

And I mean, honestly, everything is totally fine.

And I need it back now.

And I never have to hear about math again?

And I realized he and I are the only two people

And I realized that nature is beautiful.

And I said just the right words.

And I said, "Call the commissioner's office

And I screwed up the whole Flaco case,

And I swear on my living mother's future grave,

And I think I'm a model employee.

And I think I'm wearing a pillowcase I cut holes in

And I thought it was a waste of time.

And I told you, I already am.

And I took that belief, and I just dumped all over it.

And I totally biffed it.

And I want to win, so for the next eight hours,

And I was hoping for something more fun.

And I was hoping you wouldn't lose my best friend.

And I was so proud, I just had to say it out loud.

And I was toying with the idea of using hand gestures,

And I will never turn my back on ska.

And I would really love a treadmill desk

And I would've never said anything,

And I wrote DC Parlov for advice,

And I you.

And I'll do it for ya!

And I'll get a few CDs.

And I'll keep fighting for you

And I'll never drink another smoothie

And I'm about to get him, and my foot cramps up?

And I'm almost positive she's got a key to

And I'm coming for you.

And I'm gonna be alone forever.

And I'm gonna crush you. Also, I need a ride.

And I'm gonna do something about it

And I'm gonna make sure you are sober

And I'm gonna make your life miserable,

And I'm gonna show you that there's nothing in there.

And I'm gonna tail whip for days, bro.

And I'm not on any of them.

And I'm not taking your side against the universe's.

And I'm Slade Austin.

And I'm sorry I said you'll never be a dad

And I'm sorry you didn't have more fun this weekend.

And I'm wearing what, a potato sack?

And I'm with customers,

And I'm your roller skating sidekick, Chip Rockets.

And I've got to get out.

And I've listened to Amy talking about attending

And if all goes well, tonight you might be neighbors

And if anyone has egg on their faces, it's you two.

And if Cagney and Lacey don't sleep...

And if Cagney doesn't sleep, then Lacey doesn't sleep,

And if he were here right now,

And if I have the pleasure of joining your board,

And if there's any movement, it'll send us an alert.

And imagine my surprise when I found out

And in Coral Palms, law enforcement

And in the chaos, you grab his phone,

And Iowa is the ancestral homeland

And is gonna send me to jail for 15 years.

And it bums me out that you can't see that.

And it contains, like, a football's worth of cocaine...

And it couldn't have been easy

And it has to stop.

And it hasn't always been easy,

And it is so, so much, I think we should

And it is the greatest displeasure of my life

And it isn't a "little house."

And it only gets overtly transphobic at the very end,

And it still hasn't arrived yet.

And it turns out that while we were at wine club,

And it was a really funny story.

And it will grow, and eventually it'll be

And it will grow, and eventually it'll be

And it worked flawlessly.

And it's a big jar of brown sludge

And it's almost too easy to stress her out.

And it's embarrassing.

And it's encrypted on this flash drive.

And it's escalating. Let's go.

And it's given me a fear of intimacy

And it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than some job offer

And it's in a cooler neighborhood.

And it's like you guys are always in my business,

And it's right here in New York.

And it's too heavy to carry all the way back.

And it's unlocking my brain's full potential.

And its citizens.

And Jeffords never woke us up.

And join you in the field

And just dish with my new BFF Laverne.

And just happen to run into him and accidentally strike up

And just sing our best.

And keep the heist going?

And Kevin and I agreed that you squeezed

And Kevin thought it would be fun to spoil our date

And kill that feathery bastard.

And Larry Sherbert

And let him fill in the blanks.

And let me go.

And let me just say, I'm a huge fan of your early work.

And let's go.

And listen to the inscription he wrote.

And look at you guys.

And look! They're back in the walls.

And lookee here.

And lush, and romantic,

And make 'em work it together?

And make the best of it.

And Maryland is a giant pile of garbage.

And money laundering.

And musical theater

And my bookie says if I don't pay him back

And my brain...

And my mother made me fix it.

And my rear window is technically a "shower curtain."

And my space heater burnt it to a crisp.

And neither should you.

And New York City in the '80s was basically "The Purge."

And no one can stop me.

And no one had any idea

And no one knows why.

And nobody plays with them.

And nobody's getting hurt.

And nobody's heard anything about Ocampo,

And none of 'em are even Kazaam.

And none of them are named Kimble.

And not ask any hard to answer questions

And nothing about Captain Latvia.

And nothing can stand in our way.

And now back to the Lexington Thanksgiving Day Dog Show.

And now he knows where we are.

And now here you all are,

And now I got to do what I got to do.

And now I'd like to say a few words.

And now I'm about to hack your world

And now I'm feeling like

And now I'm going to put it on your back.

And now it's a scene.

And now it's everywhere.

And now it's time to send in

And now Nikolaj says he's too frightened

And now that I had that power,

And now that you've served your purpose,

And now the dog seems to be allergic to him.

And now there's proof.

And now they're pissed, so it looks like

And now wag those tails.

And now we hate singing.

And now, boy,

And now, in the immortal words of Saint Nick,

And now, on a personal note,

And once Figgis is here, we take him down,

And one of my uncles... long story.

And one regular man.

And only I know where to find him.

And only pleasure of the night shift.

And our bodies are burned beyond recognition.

And photos of young Al Gore.

And placed in the three perp perp cell?

And planning trips to Niagara Falls.

And put money in your accounts...

And repeat what we say.

And replaced the door handles

And resign yourselves to your fates.

And respect Gina's privacy.

And right now, it's our only shot.

And Rosa stands by a ladder looking up at us like,

And said they blessed her union.

And said, "Call me if you can think of anything else."

And Santiago, I can't believe you didn't stop it.

And save the Nine Nine,

And say she came here for a record.

And scene.

And security footage from the gas stations

And security footage.

And see if our future selves show up

And send us all to different precincts.

And sending my findings to the Deputy Commissioner.

And separate me and Jake.

And she didn't even ask me what happened,

And she got hit by a damn bus, so nobody can say no to her.

And she knows it.

And she lives on Shula Lane.

And she realizes I took the key.

And she refused to drink any.

And she said, "That sounds like a nightmare."

And she's a real class A drip.

And she's also got a holding cell,

And she's embarrassed of her weird body.

And she's real bad at it.

And she's super nervous 'cause she's taking

And silk is for sex workers or musicians.

And so it is my pleasure to bestow upon him

And so was Teddy.

And so will everyone at the Nine Nine.

And soft water drinks.

And squat and hold and work those quads.

And start clapping for me

And start playing dirty.

And stay away from my case.