Friends - Season 8 Edit

A baby changes everything. They cry all the time.

A couple? Like two people? Like one, two people?

A dreamless sleep.

A few years ago I was backpacking across Western Europe.

A friend he's looking at differently, but it's wrong.

A little game from our table.

A loner. Alone.

A long time.

A lot better than I'm coming off right now.

A mirror that when you look into it, you see yourself as an old woman.

A month ago this guy spent the night. I didn't see who it was, but...

A month and a half ago, remember I came to you with a problem?

A paleontologist who works out. You're like Indiana Jones.

A Play Doh Barbershop?

A poster for that WWI movie I'm in. Check it out.

A reunion? Ooh!

A Seeing Eye dog or a talking gorilla?

A side of steamed vegetables.

A tall guy with hair similar to mine? Oh, unknowable universe!

A thing through which you can tinkle

A tiny salt shaker!

A vending machine?

A widower.

Aah! God! Thank God you're home.

Aaron Lipman Guralnick would like to say hello to his future bride.

About 20. A couple people from work who had something else to do.

About a week ago, I was wearing those jeans.

About that, Joey, you have to change before the party.

About that, the "who came on to who" thing really doesn't matter.

About where the relationship is going.

Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts, and you'll be great.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. You get this rush of feelings, but it goes away.

Actually, did either of you pay for this class?

Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying.

Actually, I think you're ready to go to the delivery room.

Actually, I'm just a nurse.

Actually, it's just a bag.

Actually, never mind. I just answered my own question.

Actually, that's my roommate's.

Actually, they're things that you can do. Home remedies.

Actually, we've narrowed it down to two names.

After our date last night, did you feel a little weird?

After this, I would gladly make that my screen saver.

After you, of course.

Agassi..

Age?

Agh, I miss dating. Getting dressed up, going to a fancy restaurant.

Agh.

Ah, forget it! I can't!

Ah, forget it. It's from Pier 1.

Ah, I heard "I do." We're halfway there. Okay, you.

Ah, it must have been obvious, since it was the only thing left in your store.

Ah, Monica, my star student.

Ah! Ah, heh.

Ahem, a whore.

All alone. Forever.

All have to do is make sure not to get people's faces.

All he's thinking about is how you're taking this.

All I got is melon stuff that Rachel left.

All I really want is one great night! Just sex.

All I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.

All my energy is going into not asking that question.

All right, all right. Maybe you should just ask her to leave.

All right, Chandler, you're up.

All right, don't freak out, okay? I will help you.

All right, go left! Go right! Go right!

All right, here he comes. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna be strong.

All right, I gotta go to bed. I had such a wonderful time.

All right, I promise, I'll fix this. I swear I'll talk to her.

All right, I'll have a sandwich.

All right, I'll take it again when I get home.

All right, Joey, that is enough!

All right, let's be practical

All right, let's go.

All right, let's start with some basics.

All right, listen. If you see Joey, will you just tell him that..?

All right, ready, set, go!

All right, rock, paper, scissors for who has to tell the whore to leave.

All right, Ross, you're in the lead.

All right, so tell me one of your moves.

All right, stop it.

All right, that makes sense.

All right, then I'll see you later.

All right, then.

All right, then. We'll have a definite answer for you on Monday.

All right, what are we having?

All right, what else?

All right, where's that turkey?

All right, whose turn is it to help me get up?

All right, you two. I'm gonna get going.

All right!

All right! Ross came as doodie.

All right! Stop it!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Ahem.

All right. But if he lights someone else on fire, he's gone.

All right. Chandler, you can either spin the Wheel or pick a Google Card.

All right. Come on, Ms. Pac Man...

All right. I can't believe tomorrow's the big day.

All right. Now don't judge me.

All right. Okay, I'm sorry.

All right. Uh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller.

All right. Whenever you're ready.

All right. Yes, okay. I get your point.

All that worrying I was doing? That was crazy. Crazy.

All the guys I meet seem nice at first, then turn out to be big jerks.

All the lies, the way she used me.

All this stuff takes up a lot of room.

All your tests look fine. Are you interested in the sex of the baby?

ALL: Oh, no!

Also, I was the point person on my company's transition...

Also, you might like to know I have a Ph.D.

Also, your sisters called, neither can make it.

Although we would love to see you do that again.

Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes.

Although, I do know your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan.

Although, I do love a turkey club.

Although, I hope they don't.

Although, you know, this is part of a salt and pepper set.

Always a great way to get into a man's pants.

Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?

Am I interrupting?

Am I interrupting?

An ink stain! Can I watch how you get this out?

And "Ooh, he touched my hand, did he mean touch my hand?"

And 50.

And a brownie.

And a fantastic lover.

And a huge butterfly net looking for that man.

And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself.

And after the baby's born they're great for shoplifting melons.

And all those dinosaur knickknacks you have...

And also, congratulations on your wedding.

And also, look at the initials. They're dirty words.

And also, tea tends to give me the trots.

And also, when someone apologizes to you...

And any time they're hungry or sleepy.

And by emotional, I mean crazy!

And don't forget, you just threw her daughter...

And dump him the same day? He'll kill himself.

And finally, are you into any weird stuff, you know, sexually?

And got you this little plastic Navy ship! So it's a boy bath.

And has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity.

And he's gonna have his own life.

And he's so centered, and mature and confident.

And here it comes again. Shut up!

And here it is!

And how it was really awkward.

And I already put it in my family newsletter.

And I also know this is about more than jewelry.

And I also want to give you a little piece of advice..

And I believe that this is your red sweater.

And I don't know whether it's because we're here..

And I got her. I guess the better man won.

And I have had no babies.

And I keep knocking them out of the park!

And I know she's not just some girl I humped..

And I know you are too, so you gotta help me.

And I love spending time with you.

And I think my testicles may be in here too.

And I want one moment of relief...

And I wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today.

And I will be holding you right here.

And I won't be speaking with you for several weeks.

And I'll have the same.

And I'm also a mento for kids.

And I'm dressed as doodie

And I'm gonna play with you all the time.

And I'm having a lot of fun.

And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.

And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building.

And I'm sorry, Phoebe didn't mention you.

And I'm the happiest guy in the world

And I've been giving out money, but I'm out of that too.

And if he gets a little upset, that's what the meatball sub is for.

And if it's all right with you, I'll take your place at table six.

And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.

And if you and your precious Jenny can't see that..

And if you do the interview, you could mention...

And is now in St. Louis. I actually knew that.

And it doesn't get said enough. I like you, Ross.

And it is not mine to purchase

And it's so clean!

And it's so clean!

And Joey.

And keep in mind now, I was carrying triplets.

And little Miss New Boobs.

And look how happy the mom is now.

And more than that, I want to do all those things.

And my baby.

And my T shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbes.

And my veil was lace, made by blind Belgian nuns.

And myself, that if..

And nobody was drunk.

And nobody was gay.

And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle.

And now here we are.

And now I'm going to cover you back up.

And now we have a baby.

And on your first try.

And one of the great joys of life..

And one of those little guys just gets through.

And one thing led to another.

And pastries.

And pate.

And plus, you know, the publicity would be really good for your career.

And right before I went into labor, we had this kiss. You know?

And Ross is missing everything. So..

And Ross, if it weren't for her rumor, no one would've known who you were.

And said that stuff. How you didn't feel the same..

And she already has eyelashes and knees and..

And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.

And she wants to destroy it, so end of story.

And she's been nothing but terrible to you.

And she's okay with Rachel and the baby?

And so different.

And so I thought I'd just come down here...

And so it begins.

And so were you close to your parents?

And some scared memories.

And soon someone will call her "Mom."

And Stevie Wonder sang " Isn't She Lovely" as I walked down the aisle.

And sure, there are rules. But then you went to London.

And synthesize antibodies to stop you from rejecting the brain.

And that I certainly do not hate you.

And that would mean it's the end of the world!

And that's me and Ross.

And that's me.

And the answer is..

And the glue that holds this all together, the rules.

And the premiere is next week and you're all invited!

And the ring was the size of my fist.

And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile? Oh!

And the turkey on the other side?

And the way she looked at me, pure lust.

And the world will never know.

And then 47 hours later, here she is.

And then after, you could take her to the Four Seasons for drinks.

And then also, I'd be far away in the sea.

And then have that love thrown back in your face.

And then he turned around and it was Stephen Baldwin!

And then I make this sound:

And then I realized I'll always be their friend.

And then I, uh, passed out.

And then it was really hard to side step that "duty" thing.

And then my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check.

And then the court decides to give you custody of those fat, left handed twins.

And then when we were at the Christmas party..

And then, when she thinks I'm the best boyfriend in the world...

And there were some sad memories.

And there's marketing.

And there's more room. I mean, you could have a closet dedicated to shoes.

And there's the one that's proved most effective: sex.

And these are my antenna.

And they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother."

And they come, like, every minute.

And they feasted on human flesh!

And they're off. Oh.

And this conversation we're having right now is part of that dream.

And this is Duncan and Erin. They're gonna help out with the audition.

And this is not the only hospital in this city, and we have no problem.. Oh, gosh!

And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed.

And tried not to hit anybody.

And two.

And we did not watch Dr. Do Me A Little.

And we gotta have some boundaries.

And what you said about Nana? Yeah, she really would've wanted to be there.

And when I see her, I get a little bit angry.

And when you get to the end, they get really big..

And written across the dome, in the stars, were the words:

And yes, we are gonna have a baby.

And yet you don't recognize that you're crazy?

And yet, somehow, it's true.

And you couldn't think of anything else?

And you deserve that.

And you dreamt he was here.

And you know what?

And you know what? Don't worry about any of the moving.

And you know what? I love them both. So just pick one, and that'll be it.

And you made the gesture you didn't wanna make.

And you never told me you were in an "I Hate Rachel Club"?

And you really do want her to be named Ruth.

And you thought she was gonna be in our way!

And you were never funnier. Joke, joke, joke! You were a hoot!

And you?

And you..

And you're my big brother.

And you're still married to him?

And you're still pregnant.

And you're the father, by the way. But you're good.

And your dog's name is Wally.

And your pastry chef can stand to be taken down a peg.

And, guess what, the baby's coming...

And, Joey, not that this should affect you at all, but if you pick me..

And, Tim, I just want to say good luck here.

And, uh...

And, Ursula, it was really nice meeting you tonight!

And, you know, first kisses, and...

And?

Any time Ross makes a toast, everyone cries and pats him on the back.

Anything that doesn't say, "I died tragically in France."

Anything that you're particularly proud of?

Anything you say will just get me more upset with Chandler.

Anytime anything pregnancy related happens, use it.

Anyway, here.

Anyway, I picked an outfit, and the boots don't go with it.

Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't bend that way.

Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.

Anyway, I was wondering...

Anyway, I'll get moving on that new door.

Anyway, I'm not gonna get those tickets.

Anyway, it probably worked out for the best.

Anyway, it'll just..

Anyway, Mona, I'm really, really sorry. It's just.

Anyway, seriously, just talk to the guy, okay?

Anyway, the patient I'm looking for has a broken leg.

Anyway..

Apparently somebody thinks I'm not "11th floor material."

Apparently, I give them away for no reason at all.

Apparently, it's about a girl who moves to the city in search of stardom...

Are all the questions this personal?

Are my ears bleeding?

Are so in style right now.

Are they hiring?

Are we watching the tape or not?

Are you afraid you're gonna run out? Cut me a real piece!

Are you also a stripper?

Are you asking me out?

Are you asking me to move? You don't want me here?

Are you breaking up with us?

Are you close with her?

Are you experiencing any dizziness?

Are you gonna open the presents without Chandler?

Are you guys still together?

Are you joking? Checkout is not till noon.

Are you kidding? Another week with that simp, I'll kill myself.

Are you kidding? I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade.

Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music? Come on!

Are you kidding? With the lilies, and the song and the stars?

Are you kidding? You think we're ready to have a baby now?

Are you okay with this?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay? You're acting weird.

Are you really gonna do this?

Are you really pregnant?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?

Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away?

Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?

Are you sure you don't want something more?

Are you sure? Did you see the stain?

Are you sure? I mean, you don't know me.

Are you two talking about the same baby?

Are you..?

Are you...? Are you high?

Are you...? Really?

Aren't we talking about those big boats that go really slow?

Around the fourth month, your hormones start going crazy.

As a down payment on this or any other child.

As a group, we tend to be overdramatic.

As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would like to give you the Honeymoon Suite.

As in Barbra Streisand's husband James Brolin?

As is our dog, Chi Chi.

As it turns out, we can't do it. Monica has to work.

Ask Mona to give it back.

Ask them if they brought their friends souvenirs.

Asking me all these weird questions.

Assuming, of course, that you want it.

At Disneyland, getting laid!

At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out.

At least we know it's a him.

At least you have a wife. I get divorces and knock people up.

At Mom and Dad's 40th anniversary, you give the speech.

Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?

Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.

Aw, would you look at that, Monica?

Aw. Let me see what I can do. There are some first class seats available.

Awesome.

Aww.

Aww. And here's our first kiss as a married couple.

B as in Beebee. And E as in, "'ello there, mate."

Beat you, sucker! Oh, baby.

Because at least I could explain to him that you're making me eat him.

Because her dying wish was for one last kiss.

Because I am ready to have a baby.

Because I don't want you to go out with anybody.

Because I know he's gonna flip out and I hate it when he gets angry.

Because I live with Rachel, I'm here for a lot of stuff.

Because I put my head between her legs.

Because I'm very busy before and after the concert...

Because in about five minutes, I'm gonna be saying..

Because it'd be weird since you just broke up with my sister.

Because lately things have been happening between me and Ross.

Because of the way he behaved at our engagement party.

Because she said, "Next."

Because she's dead.

Because soon she won't fit into it.

Because that's your answer to everything?

Because then she's gonna say, "Well, it's not moving anywhere..

Because we split up.

Because what I did to you, it wasn't on purpose.

Because what's going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.

Because with sea horses, it's the male. They carry the babies.

Because you two haven't dated in five years.

Because you're my baby sister!

Because you're the most important person in this room. And in the world.

Because, Adrian...

Because, you know, they don't have any kids of their own...

Before we go to the movies, I want to make him try my bouillabaisse again.

Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.

Ben's coming over here tomorrow. This can't be there.

Ben's coming, and he can't see this.

Besides, I figured out a faster route. I'm sure I can make it this time.

Besides, I hate those conversations. I'm horrible at them. Really.

Besides, I love the compliments.

Besides, I teach the class three times a week. Who am I, Rockefeller?

Besides, if I cheat on him, I can call it an affair.

Besides, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed.

Besides, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed.

Between me and you, in this day and age..

Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Ross...

Between you and Phoebe? I'd give Phoebe the edge.

Billy's gay now, so that one's not really our fault.

Bing, my boy, we're gonna get you over this.

Bing! Look at those twin sisters dancing together.

Bing? We're all set for tonight, 8:00.

Bit of a daredevil, are we?

Bitch! And dump a guy that's just been fired?

Bite me?

Blond bitch!

Bob!

Bob!

Bob?

Bobby, tell us a little about your band.

Both years!

BOTH: Ew. You can't say that. You don't know.

BOTH: Oh, my God!

Boy, do I have a surprise for you.

Boy, kids are mean when they're hungry.

Boy, Rach, you're lucky you're hot.

Boy, you said it, Mike. I don't

Bravo, Dennis. Thanks for pleasing my mother so.

Bus?

But a béarnaise, um, has shallots, chervil, and most importantly, tarragon.

But a dove placing the ring on your finger would've been no problem.

But all I've heard is that Ben's a bit of a "poo poo head."

But believe me, that is not gonna happen today.

But Chandler's always supported my career.

But don't say that again.

But don't you think it's better if we just stay friends?

But good enough.

But he said he'd leave her for me. And I said, "James Brolin, are you sure?"

But he's very protective of me...

But hey, that was a long time ago. I'm in a good place. Might be fun to see her again.

But I am gonna run away from you.

But I can say with some confidence, you'll fit in well here.

But I could say, "I love spending time with you."

But I did still get married today.

But I did still get married today.

But I didn't want to.

But I don't care because you got the apartment. Yes!

But I don't think he knew what it was.

But I don't want you to lose Joey over it.

But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.

But I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell.

But I guess it's okay to say it to other people.

But I heard that you totally held your own.

But I just didn't think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes.

But I just miss hanging out. Just us, you know?

But I know how that discussion's gonna go.

But I love you.

But I must be honest. Your soup is abysmal.

But I think I can do it. I just need some help.

But I think we should try to have a baby.

But I was just thinking about how huge it was for me.

But I won't have aged at all.

But I'll tell you, that's the last time I buy shoes at the Slippery Fun Shoe store.

But I'm being so unreasonable.

But I'm not looking for a husband.

But I'm starting to think that we can handle it. We're good.

But I'm still really sorry.

But if it's not her bra, will you just let the woman clean?

But if she hadn't and she wanted to be with me..

But if you don't wanna know...

But if you're ready to have kids we got a room upstairs.

But in my defense, I found out that condoms are only 97 percent effective.

But it doesn't matter, I can't do anything about it.

But it just keeps getting harder.

But it just seems that you two belong together.

But it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.

But it was beautiful. It was small, but kind of spectacular.

But it's actually made with, uh, salted fresh water.

But it's complicated

But it's enough!

But Joey, I have to go. There's no room for a baby here.

But none of that compared to how kind and gentle...

But not the husband, because she can do this alone.

But nothing has to happen until you're ready.

But now I think Ross feels left out.

But okay, that's okay.

But one said she loved me, so I gave her everything.

But over the past few weeks, I..

But right after, you have to tell me who you are.

But right now, with the way I'm feeling..

But screw you! I'm going first!

But she can't..

But she was crying.

But someone thinks that that will open up a can of worms.

But still, it should have been me. I'm the dad.

But thank you all for coming, and for these beautiful gifts...

But thank you so much, dear, for bringing that to everybody's attention.

But thanks.

But that doesn't happen to me a lot.

But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.

But that's different. There are rules there too, know what I mean?

But that's gonna cost extra.

But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful.

But the good news is, no one in a two block radius will ever know.

But then I thought back over all our memories together. Some happy memories.

But there were some people that said I looked like a floating angel.

But there's something between us. I don't know about you..

But three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French.

But to hell with that bitch!

But we are definitely not getting back together.

But we can't have her. No.

But we don't know how to be together.

But we.. We gotta be careful.

But we'll stop by the hospital just to be sure. I'll page Ross.

But what did I tell you about leaving your key outside the door like that?

But what if, and I'm not saying she will be..

But what is he doing with my sister? He's so great.

But what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan.

But what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you.

But what you're doing to me now is plain spiteful.

But what'd he mean by "rules"?

But when I return 200 years from now, you'll be long gone.

But you do wear that sweater a lot. Are you involved in some kind of dare?

But you forgot to switch legs between questions. So no Hopping Bonus.

But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving!

But you know what they say, there is no such thing as bad press.

But you know, condoms only work, like, 97 percent of the time.

But you still look like Ursula. You're "Blursula."

But you worked so hard.

But you're not getting any younger.

But you're not just a soap actor.

But, hey. You guys have to be at the next table...

But, honey, you two are on your own.

But, Joey, I don't think Ross wants me to move in and disrupt his life.

But, Mom, I really know what I'm doing. I can handle this.

But, Mona, I live here.

But, Monica, he loves his job so much.

But, uh, it can't happen.

But, you know, Green Bay is playing.

But, you know, on the other hand...

But, you know, with the leg.

But.. What do you say? Can we just have that dinner?

Buy stamps. Pick up dry cleaning. Don't let Phoebe in.

By the way, I've been meaning to say this.

By the way, you don't want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.

Bye bye, Joey. Seriously, I can't stop it.

Bye, boots. Wait! Half off!

Bye, Dad.

Bye, Kash. Say hi to Wally.

Bye.

Call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasn't true?

Call me.

Call security! There's a crazy guy out in the hall!

Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?

Can I get a copy of that?

Can I get some of that action?

Can I get you anything? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay?

Can I get you something to drink, like a water and Valium?

Can I go next?

Can I have $20?

Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Can I just say, Monica, that your driving is exquisite.

Can I talk to you guys for a second?

Can I? To remember you?

Can I...?

Can we go call them? Is it too soon to call?

Can we just please take a moment? Our two best friends just got married.

Can you believe that?

Can you do me a favor? My sister knows you work at Ralph Lauren...

Can't we ask her to go?

Can't you just give him another chance, please?

Can't you just let this go?

Can't, I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting.

Care to make it interesting?

Carol's still upset that you taught him "Pull my finger."

Carry on.

Catwoman. So we meet again.

Champagne, strawberries...

Chandler "let me win."

Chandler "M." Bing.

Chandler Bing!

Chandler has two copies of Annie!

Chandler M. Bing. Oh, my God.

Chandler Muriel Bing.

Chandler usually helps, but he's into the game.

Chandler, darling, look, my date has finally arrived.

Chandler, I'm kidding! Already you're my favorite.

Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to you.

Chandler, if you thought I was gonna get you porn for Valentine's Day...

Chandler, please.

Chandler, we can't let this tape wreck Valentine's Day.

Chandler, you don't understand.

CHANDLER: All right, ready? JOEY: One.

CHANDLER: All right, this isn't bad. I like the flowery smell.

CHANDLER: Can you come in here? There's something wrong.

CHANDLER: I'm in the bathtub. Oh.

CHANDLER: Two, three. JOEY: Three.

Chandler?

Chandler's never gonna trust me with anything ever again.

Change of plans, I made you a Valentine's dinner. Surprise!

Change the subject.

Check it out.

Check it out. We're bracelet buddies.

Cheese, you say?

Chi Chi! Oh, I loved this dog.

Chi Chi. She died when I was in high school.

Christmas party in my boots!

Classic Ross!

CLERK: Next.

Click.

Cliff, you're so forward.

Cofounded the club, was that I was in love with you.

Cofounded.

Cold cuts, ice cream, limes.

Color: winterberry.

Come here!

Come here! Hey!

Come here.

Come here. I can breathe through my mouth.

Come here. Sure you can. Come here. Look, it's right there.

Come in!

Come on in!

Come on now, think!

Come on, by age 7, kids have already seen orgies.

Come on, Chandler wouldn't mind if I opened just one present.

Come on, every first time mother feels that way.

Come on, honey. Don't be upset. We have so much to look forward to.

Come on, hurry up.

Come on, I'm your older brother. Ask me.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Come on, it'll be like watching the Discovery Channel..

Come on, it's fun.

Come on, people, make some room.

Come on, Rach. Let's give it another try.

Come on, Rachel, open up. Let me explain.

Come on, read your own label. See you later.

Come on, Ross.

Come on, Ross. I'm miserable here.

Come on, Ross. We're gonna be late.

Come on, secret passageway.

Come on, seriously, you're not gonna make me watch this alone.

Come on, Toby. Give me a hand!

Come on, we will be there for you the whole time. Just remember:

Come on, whip it out.

Come on, Will, just take off your shirt and tell us.

Come on, wuss. Make love to me.

Come on, you can't even eat alone in a restaurant.

Come on, you didn't have to...

Come on, you started this, now you finish it!

Come on, you stupid machine! Come on!

Come on! Bunny versus doodie. We're waiting!

Come on! It's my wedding. That could be my present!

Come on! Mona Lisa.

Come on! We're a team. We're in this together.

Come on. Come on, it'll be fun. It'll make me feel so much better.

Concert. Yeah. Mm. That just put us in quite a pickle.

Congratulations on the baby and on the wedding.

Congratulations on your wedding.

Congratulations, you two. I didn't even know you got married.

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Congratulations! You just got married!

Congratulations. I'll give you two a minute.

Contraceptives are not always effective. Right?

Contractions can be unnerving, but she's fine.

Correct. Which monarch has ruled Great Britain the longest?

Could be. I mean, technically, she did strip. We just missed it.

Could I get anyone a coffee?

Could I just see your bra?

Could you fold these napkins? I'm gonna go across the hall to check on the yams.

Could you grab me my other box of tissues?

Could you tell Jasmine I can't make it to yoga?

Couldn't press the "down" button. I think Earth's okay.

Crushing bones!

Dad. Can't you go back to your table?

Daddy, stay calm, please.

Damn it.

Damn it. Here's your 50 bucks.

Damn you, 15's.

Damn you, ref! You burn in hell!

Damn, nobody's here for my good ones.

Dancing on your feet like the other girls did it.

Darling, that's a breast pump.

David Linn! David Linn!

Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment?

Dennis is a dear old friend..

Dennis Phillips. That's great. How did you guys meet?

Did he put a little starch in your bloomers?

Did I ever tell you about the time I backpacked through Western Europe?

Did I miss it?

Did I say Los Angeles? I meant the team that used to be in Los Angeles..

Did I start this by saying, "Hey, I did something awesome today"?

Did she really say that?

Did she sound blond? Any accent? I gotta make a call.

Did we fool around at Lance Davis' graduation party?

Did you do it on our invitations?

Did you do it on our invitations?

Did you get a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?

Did you just wink at me?

Did you know that during pregnancy..

Did you know that something really boring...

Did you let her smoke in here?

Did you like me when we first met?

Did you see that?

Did you talk to Dennis about me yet?

Did you tell him I was pregnant?

Didn't see that?

Dina has something that she wants to tell you.

Dina, if he's funny, laugh!

Dina, if you're having a baby, you should be married.

Dinner was good! Just saying hi! Now I'm gonna go!

Disturbing your precious coffee time?

Do I have to pee again?

Do I look like a giant sperm to all of you, or..?

Do I make fun of the people you date? Tag, Janice, Mona.

Do it again. Do it again.

Do me a favor, pass this to my parents.

Do this for me. I catch you looking at women's breasts all the time.

Do what I do before an audition.

Do you guys think this is too slutty? Hi, Kash.

Do you have any moves?

Do you have any other totally perfect names that you're not gonna use?

Do you have some kind of a fitness regime?

Do you know how I can get around the office computer network..

Do you know what you're gonna call her yet?

Do you know why I took all those lessons?

Do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room?

Do you really want to talk about smoking?

Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding?

Do you see this? Unh...

Do you sleep with women and never call them again?

Do you think he saw us, or can we still slip out?

Do you think I work at a boot pricing company?

Do you think it should say, "Love, Ross and Mona"?

Do you think we can get to the subway if we climb through that manhole cover?

Do you think...? Could you tell me, is she hanging in in a one bedroom or a two?

Do you want me to sit on you? Because I'll do it.

Do you want some help?

Do you want these delivered, Mr. and Mrs. Geller?

Do you want to go change first?

Do you want to send this one out together?

Do you worry that you'll be walking and your baby will slip out?

Do you?

Doctor, you gotta do something! Get me drugs..

Does anybody remember when..

Does it really matter?

Does she realize she's not gonna have a date again for the next, like, 18 years?

Does that sound like Janice?

Does this look like a conversation I want to remember?

Doesn't feel good.

Doesn't feel good.

Don't eat that!

Don't forget my office holiday party tonight.

Don't give him the satisfaction. You're better than Chandler. We all are.

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to God!

Don't let the "best door in the world" hit you in the ass on your way out.

Don't let this stop you from getting massages.

Don't mind Chandler. He's always been shy.

Don't move.

Don't start doing that.

Don't talk, we'll get you up to your room, soak your feet. You'll be okay.

Don't tell her I'm here.

Don't think I'm crazy, but I was meant to pick this up.

Don't touch her!

Don't trust your wife.

Don't try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!

Don't worry about it. No big deal.

Don't worry, we'll find you someone else.

Don't worry. I promise that you will only have to be pregnant a few more hours.

Don't worry. I told him, very nicely:

Don't you people ever knock?

Don't you see? It's the perfect crime.

Don't you talk to my husband like that, you stupid bastard!

Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?

Don't you worry. By the time you're old enough to date him..

Doodies?

Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?

Dr. Long, I've been at this for 17 hours.

Dr. Schiff! What kind of question is that?

Dr. Wells is a woman!

Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview. So he sent me.

Drake, I've discovered the reason for your memory loss.

Drop by unexpectedly and demand a giant bowl of punch.

Dude, are you trying to kill me?

Dude, I don't know. That's a pretty small hole.

Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea.

Dude, what happened?

Dude, what is going on?

Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles.

Duties?

Earrings!

Eh.

Eight days late, huh? You must be getting uncomfortable.

Eight years. Wow.

Either eat it or be in it.

Either of you want to be Ross?

Either that, or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had.

Emma.

Enter Phoebe!

Eric! Let's go!

Erin, you get the first question. In hockey, who is known as "The Great One"?

Erotically charged.

Especially me, Toby.

Even after what happened at their 20th?

Even if it is to Bobby. Dude, that's not a compliment.

Even if the sidecar had a windscreen to protect your hair?

Even though I know that you and I are also very close friends.

Even with the card?

Even you would think so.

Every year, I say I'm gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it.

Everybody? I just wanted to say..

Everyone at my school heard it. You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader?

Everything isn't aglow with the light of fairies?

Everything isn't perfect or magical?

Everything's gonna be fine. It's just a crush.

Everything's normal. She's just your friend, Rachel.

Ew, yeah.

Ew! Ew! Ew!

Ew. You peed on yourself?

Excellent. Let's play Bamboozled. Chandler, you'll go first.

Excellent. Now, do you want another question or a Wicked Wango Card?

Except all I did was think about it.

Except for harboring love for the woman carrying his baby.

Except that it was really the "I Hate Rachel Club."

Except that one.

Except, not no.

Excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam.

Excuse me, can I help you with something?

Excuse me, could you help me with something?

Excuse me, I don't want Greg and Jenny's rejects.

Excuse me?

Excuse me. I think you dropped..

Ezel.

Ezels!

Faded salmon color?

Fake? Excuse me? Hello?

Faster. You're not going fast enough.

February 2nd.

Feminine stuff.

Fight for me!

Film, television and theater.

Filming Rachel was not planned.

Fine, all right, I'll do it.

Fine, I did, but I didn't see anything.

Fine, I'll do it. We gotta get this off the screen.

Fine, if it means that much to you. But there's gonna be a ton left over.

Fine, if you want me to wear the boots, I'll wear the boots.

Fine, no more dinosaur stuff. Can I talk about fossils?

Fine, you can have your stupid, little club.

Fine! Then you tell Roger, because he was really looking forward to this!

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road.

Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient.

Fine. Tomorrow night then.

Fine. Well, then to quote Ross, "I better be going."

Fine. Whatever you want. You're the mommy.

Finish your enchilada.

First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity.

First of all, I am so sorry about my father yelling at you.

First of all, Kash Ford? Not people.

First, there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam.

Five years later, the doughnut's gone and I'm still Toby.

Five, four..

Flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.

Fold them like swans. I showed you at Christmas. Remember?

Folks, this ever happen to you? You go to the fridge to get a glass of milk...

Foosball, huh? Pizza box.

For a second, I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand. So we're good.

For children.

For God's sakes, it's Rachel!

For just one great night. I mean, is that really so hard..

For not inviting me, or for lying about it?

For that, and other things, I want to thank you.

For the kids.

For the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you'd never forget.

For those who haven't checked their calendars, today's my due date.

For, well, since I was 14.

Forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?

Forget it! No way. I'm not sending more clothes to prison.

Forget it.

Forget it.

Forget it. You know what? I'll just have the conversation.

Forgot my purse. Oh, you guys made up.

Four wide receivers. On third and 18.

Fun.

Funny. It's funny!

Gal pal, Rachel Green.

Get back in there!

Get him talking about something else.

Get it out of your system while we're alone.

Get out of the way, jackass!

Get ready to run.

Get ready to see some begging.

Get the ball. Ready? Get the ball!

Get your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball!

Get your foot off my contestant. Judge.

Get... God, what have I done to you? Huh?

Girl on girl porn?

Give me.

Give them to me. I haven't felt my feet in years.

Give us our souvenirs and get out of here.

Giving her pickle is like giving me salad.

Glad we weren't in the car. Did he let up?

Go ahead, Rach.

Go do it or I'll come back to that set. I'll meet more actors.

Go on stage. I'll get a picture of you doing the speech

Go to hell.

Go, go, go!

Go. I have it in my book. Go.

Go.. Hey, go talk to Monica.

God, I gotta get better at lying.

God, is it gum? Is it food? What's the deal?

God, she is not stealing from us, okay? Will you let this go?

God, this guy doesn't have a clue. He's walking around thinking:

God, this is so stupid.

God.

Good call. But the face, Ross, the face isn't Rachel.

Good for you.

Good God, Bing. Well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised.

Good job, Joe! Well done! Top notch!

Good job, pretzel pervert.

Good luck, buddy.

Good news! The divorce is final. I signed the papers this a.m.

Good night!

Good thing we're going to a hospital.

Good, you're all here. Thanksgiving, 4:00.

Good, you're still here. I wanted to tell you to have a good honeymoon.

Good.

Good. And Rachel Greene too.

Good. Because I'm sure this interview's gonna last a couple of weeks.

Good. I saw a pretty big pigeon

Good. Now there'll be someone there who likes my name.

Gosh, I'm not gonna let that man make you eat your baby.

Got any cakes or cookies or something?

Gotcha, sailor.

Great, let's begin.

Great! How about you? You're having a baby!

Great.

Great. And could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this?

Great. Great. Just give me a sec to change film.

Great. Hey, Joey, want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?

Great. I'm across the street having sex right now.

Great. Those cameras were the only thing that will cheer Monica up. She's depressed.

Great. Uh, how do you know where I live?

Great. Well, it was nice meeting all of you.

Great. Well..

Great. You'll love her. She's the smartest of all the Tribbiani children.

GREEN [OVER PHONE]: Just because you're not in love with the guy...

GREEN: It's unacceptable, Rachel. What the hell does love have to do with it?

Greg and Jenny? "Hi, Greg. I'm Chandler."

Greg and Jenny's number is totally different in here.

Gretzky..

GROUP Ew.

GROUP Hey, Joey! How you doing?

GROUP: Hi. Shelly, these are my friends.

Guess I'll see you at the wedding.

Guess what, Molly Gilbert. You've just been bumped up to table one.

Guess who I invited? Remember Will Culvert from high school?

Guess whose middle name is Muriel.

Gunther, you brought candy. Thank you so much.

Guys, help me with the dishes. There's a lot of pots and pans.

H93'

Ha, ha, ow, ha, ha, ow.

Ha, ha. Now, excuse me. I'm gonna go to the restroom.

Ha. Yeah, that was a good night.

Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas. And their birthdays.

Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.

Hang on! I think I remember you.

Hang up. You get food poisoning just talking to that place.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Has anyone seen my shirt?

Hate him?

Have a great time, you guys. And yes, it is too slutty!

Have come and gone with their babies. I'm next. It's my turn. It's only fair.

Have you ever had something everyone wants?

Have you ever looked at someone that you've known for a while...

Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane?

Have you no control, Ross?

Have you said, "I love you"? You could say, "I love you."

Having our own baby.

Having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings.

He asked about you, me and London.

He called the Long Island Expressway a "concrete miracle."

He did this stuff, I said I did it too. He got so excited, it was fun.

He doesn't want to buy my baby! I made that up!

He gets off work at 11. She'll be waiting for your call.

He got drunk and said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."

He has no idea what kind of range I have.

He has the most amazing Porsche under there.

He hasn't asked me how I'm feeling, or offered to carry my bags.

He hasn't had this much trouble getting out words since he was in Macbeth.

He just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.

He lit my pastry chef on fire.

He looks good. Okay, I mean really gorgeous.

He may not be my soul mate, but a girl's gotta eat.

He read lines with me. He went with me on auditions when I was nervous.

He said if he ever saw me doing that again, he would make me eat the entire pack.

He said, "Ha, ha! Gotcha!"

He seemed like a standup guy. And he's not into anything weird sexually.

He spends a day with you, and look at him.

He thinks you hate him.

He thought you were charming.

He totally checked you out! And he is so cute!

He treats me like a queen. Except when he treats me like a naughty girl.

He wants nothing to do with me or the baby

He was a hamster. I'm not gonna vacuum up my baby.

He was nervous. You can be intimidating.

He was talking about rules and looking at people differently.

He was talking about rules and right and wrong.

He'd notice when you didn't have a baby in nine months!

He'll find me

He'll never tell her how he feels.

He's a good kisser, isn't he?

He's a keeper.

He's a little enthusiastic. What's wrong with that?

He's a patient of mine. I've treated him for years.

He's a pleasant man.

He's a teacher, he does volunteer work.

He's breathing.

He's crazy. Why doesn't he wanna be with Rachel?

He's doing it, he's breaking down the door.

He's gonna be the man of my dreams.

He's gonna have a different nose.

He's great. I love him.

He's here to have sex with you.

He's in a wheelchair. He's early to mid 30s, very attractive.

He's just embracing life. We could all stand to be more like Parker.

He's marrying you because he thinks the things you were saying were true.

He's meant for her, and you're gonna date him?

He's never used this product before.

He's not really my type.

He's not you!

He's paid for acting classes, headshots and stuff.

He's really small.

He's right, though. The '74 is absolute piss.

He's terrible. He's slow. He burns things.

He's the strongest out of all three of you. Except for Joey.

He's too sweet. He calls me all the time.

He's trying to mouth something to me

Heh, that's right!

Heh, well, hi. I'm Jenny Boon. I'm the new teacher here.

Heh, what? Why? What, are you jealous?

Heh, what's going on? Do you not like Katie?

Heh, you'll see.

Heh. Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that.

Heh. Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?

Heh. You called me that before...

Hello, Baby Girl.

Hello, Chandler. Lovely day, huh? You.

Hello, Greg? This is Monica from the plane.

Hello, Mona from her restaurant.

Hello, Monica.

Hello, Mrs. Green. Hi, uh, it's Monica Geller.

Hello, nice to meet you. How are you?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? I still don't know what the hell I'm doing.

Hello? It's the deli again!

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. 8th Street Deli?

Hello. I'm Joey Tribbiani. Let's play Bamboozled.

Her ass print is still on your grandmother's quilt.

Her twin sister used to do porn.

Her what?

Here come the meat sweats.

Here comes the temper.

Here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?

Here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations.

Here she is.

Here she is. Future fashion superstar.

Here we are. A Wicked Wango Card determines whether you go higher or lower.

Here we go!

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go. Okay, keep pushing.

Here, in the hall? What are we, animals?

Here, she always lies about this.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here...

Here's a good one. Who'd win a fight between Ross and Chandler?

Here's a key to my apartment.

Here's a picture of Ross.

Here's a thought. This is the same ballroom.

Here's another plan. No.

Here's the name tag from where she works as a waitress.

Here's the plan, okay?

Here's the plan: Grab your coat, we're going to a strip club!

Here's to Mom and Dad. Whatever!

Here's what happened. Joey can back me up.

Here's your ball! Get the ball!

Here's your warm milk.

Hey, are you all right? You seem a little distracted.

Hey, babe.

Hey, buddy. How's my favorite dog, huh? How's my favorite dog?

Hey, can I ask you something?

Hey, can I ask you something?

Hey, Chandler, why so fancy?

Hey, Chandler. I really need to talk to you.

Hey, come on. This is a real date. Uh...

Hey, did you have the baby yet?

Hey, do you realize that we may have just changed our lives forever?

Hey, don't feel bad for me. I won every time!

Hey, don't.. You know what? You're gonna be fine.

Hey, great advice on that Joey thing.

Hey, Gunther, you're an ezel. Huh.

Hey, hey.

Hey, how, uh, serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?

Hey, I brought you some lunch.

Hey, I can't remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here...

Hey, I could have had you if I wanted you.

Hey, I did not dump Rachel. Nor are we still together.

Hey, I do too think about the consequences of my decisions.

Hey, I got one! I got one!

Hey, I got you a present!

Hey, I hear you're going on a ferry tonight.

Hey, I take it you're just visiting someone.

Hey, if my friend says it's time to go, it's time to go!

Hey, imagine, I go away for a few days...

Hey, it's me. Why can't you tell me?

Hey, Joey, hi, I'm Ray. I'm the producer of the show.

Hey, look at this.

Hey, look! It's still there!

Hey, look. Look.

Hey, Mon, why'd you tell the guys that you weren't pregnant?

Hey, Monica, it's Joey. Phoebe and I smell gas coming from your apartment.

Hey, Monica, listen to me, okay?

Hey, my sweater!

Hey, not as good as this guy. He brought Twizzlers.

Hey, Pheebs, I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow. Wanna come?

Hey, Pheebs, what's up?

Hey, Phoebe! How was dinner?!

Hey, Phoebe? Look..

Hey, Phoebe? Look..

Hey, Rach, can I just say...

Hey, Rach, listen. No matter what he says, you're not gonna be alone.

Hey, Rach.

Hey, Rachel had the baby.

Hey, remember, um, last night when we were talking about Cujo?

Hey, roomie.

Hey, Ross, check it out! I learned a new trick.

Hey, Ross, doesn't Ben go to Smithfield School?

Hey, Ross.

Hey, Ross. Listen.

Hey, Sleeping Beauty.

Hey, so, this roommate of yours, is he good looking?

Hey, so, uh, how's it going living over at Ross'?

Hey, sweetie.

Hey, thanks.

Hey, wait, Ross?

Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.

Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did you like that part?

Hey, what was in that brown jar?

Hey, would you two girls like to go for a drink?

Hey, you came! Man, you look incredible! Hot stuff!

Hey, you guys?

Hey, you know what? Why don't I take you out?

Hey, you listen to me. Listen to me.

Hey, you made it!

Hey, you understand, right? You're a guy.

Hey, you're the one who loves the picture.

Hey!

Hey! Everybody, this is Parker. Parker, this is..

Hey! I brought you my old maternity clothes.

Hey! I'm so glad you guys are here.

Hey! I'm the teacher!

Hey! It's my fashion girls!

Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?

Hey! What? Aw! Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. How you doing?

Hey. How you doing?

Hey. Oh, hi. Ross and I were looking for you.

Hey. That's Rachel. She's the one who used to live here.

Hey. Wow!

Hey. You know, Kash really liked you.

Hi

Hi, Aunt Lisa. Uncle Dan.

Hi, Dina. Good to see you.

Hi, Emma.

Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green.

Hi, I'm Mona from her restaurant.

Hi, I'm Ross. I'm here to ruin this magical day for you.

Hi, it's Eric, from the Halloween party. Ursula's fiancé.

Hi, Jim Jim Nelson. I'm Phoebe Phoebe Buffay

Hi, listen. Come here. Come..

Hi, Monica. Hi, boots.

Hi, Pheebs.

Hi! I went by the photo shop. Take a look.

Hi! Will, right? Right, hi. I'm Rachel Greene.

Hi! Wow! There you go.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Monica Geller, chef at Allessandro's.

Hi. I'm sorry to barge in on your Valentine.

Hi. Ken Adams. Nice to meet you.

Hi. Oh, Ross, don't forget that doctor's appointment.

Hi. Uh, we spoke on the phone.

High school was a long time ago.

Higher or lower than what?

Him you're friends with.

His.

Hmm.

Ho, oh! Heh. Please start drinking.

Hold me.

Hold on! Are you serious? So, like, 3 percent of the time they don't even work?

Hold on.

Holy cow. That's a big word. Tris...

Honestly, Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped.

Honey, cover it up with the boat.

Honey, get the tape.

Honey, here, take it all.

Honey, I haven't told him yet..

Honey, I know you're in pain right now, but I'm a little turned on.

Honey, I'd love to, but the second game is about to start.

Honey, I'd love to, but the second game is about to start.

Honey, I'm not gonna even pretend I was listening. Hey! Hey!

Honey, I'm sorry. I can't help you. I can't spend another evening with that man.

Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it.

Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy. It's the wet, naked lady.

Honey, once you get to know him, he's much, much worse.

Honey, that's crazy, I don't you to get me a stripper.

Honey, we are so meant to be together.

Honey, why is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Cat Stevens case?

Honey?

Hop on, Gert.

How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?

How about just the bridesmaids?

How about the closet by the bathroom?

How about to the street, from the balcony?

How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night.

How about you each get five vetoes?

How about you less important people? Let's open your presents.

How about you showering with your mom?

How are will gonna get home? Maybe a piggyback ride?

How can I be upset over something I never had?

How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?

How come you have two?

How cool is. We know three down. I'm touching three down.

How could you have kept all of this from me?

How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?

How did this happen? Did she lure you to an early bird dinner?

How did you get in there?

How did you know that?

How did..?

How dirty do you think I am?

How do I put this?

How do you clear this thing?

How do you do it?

How do you spell that? So we can get it right.

How do you test the temperature of the baby's bathwater?

How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?

How dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?

How he, you know..

How is she gonna handle this financially? How is she gonna juggle work?

How is that me?

How long has this been going on?

How long have we known each other?

How many ways are there to do that?

How often does this happen to you? You owe it to yourself.

How often does this happen to you? You owe it to yourself.

How on earth will you ever annoy me?

How small are your feet?!

How to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil!

How was the date?

How was the honeymoon?

How would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it?

How would you like it if I told you that Lee Majors liked you...

How would you like to get together next Saturday?

How you can't stop thinking about her? How you can't sleep?

How you doing?

How'd your date go?

How's it feel knowing you're never gonna be with another woman again, huh?

How's the pressure?

Howdy, doodie.

Huh?

Huh? They should put that on the box!

Huh.

Huh.

Huh. Didn't see that coming.

Huh. Heh.

Hurry up! I gotta pray!

I accidentally packed these with my stuff.

I actually feel like I'm going on a real date.

I actually had a topic in mind.

I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey.

I actually stopped because I was so accurate.

I actually think I remember some of it:

I almost don't want to show you.

I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.

I already packed. The only thing I couldn't find, though, was your Speedo.

I also had to go to a few houses as his girlfriend.

I always knew you two would have a child out of wedlock.

I always knew you were gonna make it. I'm so proud of you.

I am a woman who spent money on a dress she wants to wear..

I am awful with children.

I am feeling nothing.

I am good!

I am like Indiana Jones.

I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay?

I am not gonna show you this.

I am not gonna tell you until I tell him.

I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship!

I am really gonna miss being pregnant.

I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.

I am so stupid.

I am sorry. Okay?

I am sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.

I am strong. I'll show you.

I am the groom. I was told it was a big deal.

I appreciate the costume.

I been playing for eight hours.

I believe in handsome strangers who hit on my wife.

I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.

I believe we can expect a call from the president any moment now.

I bet it's Richard.

I bet Phoebe that you're gonna have the baby, and I don't want to lose.

I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean, he was conveniently busy.

I bet that phone thing was some sort of mix up. I'm gonna call them.

I bet you it has hair! I bet you it's a girl.

I bought a homemade soap from her at a Dead show!

I broke the dog, Pheebs! I broke the dog!

I brought something that I want to give you.

I called the chef who recommended him to me.

I came by because I want to talk to you about something.

I can and I will.

I can see it from right here. It'll cost you one husband.

I can show you! I have it on videotape.

I can tell my mother that I don't want her to be sleeping on my couch.

I can wait until then.

I can walk around naked again.

I can watch porn in the living room.

I can..

I can't answer that. Chandler's my husband.

I can't believe he taped them having sex.

I can't believe it, especially after Monica went on and on about it.

I can't believe it! Rachel's pregnant?

I can't believe she's dating!

I can't believe there is a naked hooker in there.

I can't believe this is taking so long. How you doing?

I can't believe this!

I can't believe this! You're the good one. You went to college.

I can't believe you brought my boss into it! I'll be fired!

I can't believe you didn't tell me.

I can't believe you told people about this. Everybody knew?

I can't date like a normal person, which is fine because I don't need a relationship

I can't decide who she looks like, you or Rachel.

I can't do that either.

I can't do this alone.

I can't even believe this. I really come off that badly?

I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you..

I can't feel my legs.

I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?"

I can't go in there. I can't tell him.

I can't help you after all. I didn't realize this game was on.

I can't live with Joey once the baby comes.

I can't look at you right now.

I can't say because he's famous.

I can't say that didn't hurt.

I can't say.

I can't stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me.

I can't stop thinking about her. I can't sleep..

I can't stop thinking about her. I can't sleep...

I can't think of anything we're doing.

I can't wait to get "sous neath" him.

I can't wait to spend our life together.

I can't wait. They'll cry so hard, they'll be fighting for breath.

I can't! I can't!

I can't. I spent so much on them, and told Chandler I'd wear them all the time.

I can't. Not after the other night. It's too weird.

I cannot wait to see them cry.

I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was "due" your baby.

I checked in the lost and found.

I chose those. I'm a paleontologist.

I could have been sent from another planet to destroy Earth.

I could never do that to Emma.

I could never do that to the guy. We're friends.

I could never do that to the guy. We're friends.

I could only think of two names: him and Ed Begley Jr.

I could see your nipples through that sweater.

I could take care of the baby, I could come over whenever I want...

I could use a challenge. It's getting pretty easy.

I couldn't have done it without you. I loved these last 9 months.

I couldn't, because I don't know!

I did it, and I felt a lot better! You might even hit a seagull in the head.

I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.

I didn't care for it.

I didn't go to how huge this is gonna be for the father.

I didn't handle it very well. If you think about it, the "I Hate Rachel Club"..

I didn't have time to read this part of the books, but do we have time..?

I didn't know Joey was on JAG.

I didn't know where to put it so I left.

I didn't know you and Kara divorced. I'm sorry.

I didn't say raspberry before, did I?

I didn't see anything. I changed my mind.

I didn't see this on the menu.

I didn't take these, okay? I didn't even know my camera had a zoom lens.

I didn't tell her I got Rachel pregnant.

I didn't think of it that way. You're right.

I didn't think you could keep it a secret.

I didn't want her to see it, so I ran around and bought all the copies I could find.

I didn't want her to think I was a terrible mother. I can't even see my own baby.

I didn't want him to start yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour.

I didn't want to say anything because it's your day.

I didn't want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor..

I didn't write it.

I didn't. Is that why you used to lock the bedroom door?

I do, Rach. I do. And I'm so happy for you.

I do, so much.

I do, so much.

I don't believe in soul mates, either.

I don't believe in that, but you two get along.

I don't believe this. You got him to pretend he was a fake doctor?

I don't believe we've met. Joey Tribbiani.

I don't believe you! That is brilliant!

I don't care about fashion! I'm pregnant.

I don't care about your dad. I care about Mona.

I don't care if it's 3 a.m. and you want ice cream.

I don't care. You told people that I was half and half!

I don't either. But it's their party, and it's one night.

I don't get it.

I don't get why they'd give us a fake number.

I don't hang up on your friends.

I don't have a wife or a girlfriend, but I do like to ski.

I don't know about you, but I haven't thought about our thing.

I don't know any of it and I'm the father.

I don't know his real name. I call him Mozzarella.

I don't know how any of these got opened!

I don't know how you fight that.

I don't know if I want to wear a woman's shirt.

I don't know if we're there yet.

I don't know what that's like?

I don't know what to do, you know?

I don't know why I thought that'd be funny.

I don't know, I think he's avoiding me.

I don't know, I'd leave it on the changing table?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I could.

I don't know. I guess there's just always been this distance.

I don't know. I honestly didn't watch it.

I don't know. I really like her and I wanna keep dating her.

I don't know. I think it does something to salami.

I don't know. I think it's still gonna be a while.

I don't know. I think maybe one of them is dying.

I don't know. I would say it's pretty good o

I don't know. It's just... Lately, I've been feeling...

I don't know. She seemed to think it was such a crazy idea.

I don't like baths. Could you draw me a picture of sex on the balcony?

I don't really even know where I left those.

I don't remember. Are you talking about your imaginary boyfriend?

I don't see any reason why I'd do that to myself again.

I don't see it!

I don't see the baby. Where is it?

I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet.

I don't shy away from delegating.

I don't suck. It sucks.

I don't think I'm gonna make it to the wedding.

I don't think I'm quite there yet.

I don't think so.

I don't think so. Books say wait till the third date to tell the guy..

I don't think so. You're giving me Ruth...

I don't think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.

I don't think the flash went off.

I don't think the next patient is very far along.

I don't think this number's right.

I don't think we've actually done this before.

I don't think you did a very thorough job.

I don't think you had an open mind about Ruth.

I don't think you'll need it.

I don't think you're comprehending just how slutty this dress is.

I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doing?"

I don't want to do anything to you.

I don't want to have to lie about being married.

I don't want to miss any more baby stuff. Here's my pager number.

I don't want you to just use your housekeeper...

I don't. But I would still like to be acknowledged.

I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch.

I dropped him off at Carol's.

I fear a jury will see it the same way.

I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him.

I feel bad. I swear, I didn't even watch it.

I feel so bad for you.

I feel so lucky. Think of the good times that happened here.

I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight...

I figured it was about maternity leave.

I figured it was okay, you've got an ink stain on the crotch.

I figured since you're pregnant, you're not gonna be seeing people.

I forgot this was on your..

I found this place that makes the greatest jalapeno poppers.

I gather Jack and Ben haven't been getting along.

I gave her a key to my apartment and then had the locks changed.

I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go.

I get it. But, Mona, what relationship is not complicated?

I get nervous, and I sweat like crazy.

I get that from books.

I got a big date. Do you know a good restaurant?

I got a secret for you. I let him win.

I got an A? In school? Hey, I'm a dork!

I got good. I played this game all day, and now I rule at it.

I got home and Ross was there. He'd been hanging out with Joey.

I got it for your wedding, I ordered it weeks ago and it finally got here!

I got it. I got it.

I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center.

I got shot down at fat camp.

I got some stuff going on if you want to feel.

I got something. It's this story that I came up with.

I got TiVo.

I got to see what my life would be like without you.

I gotta change my pants. What was I thinking? Jeans have no give.

I gotta go, I got a date. But try this.

I gotta say, I never knew I could enjoy the non sex part of a date so much.

I gotta tell you, I'm having the hardest time placing you.

I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good.

I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!

I guess I didn't really think about it.

I guess I'm just done with the dating thing.

I guess lucky is too strong a word.

I guess that makes sense. You think you're gonna talk to him?

I guess we could bet one more time.

I guess you're right.

I guess.

I had a date with this guy. I swear he's her other half.

I had a great time on our honeymoon.

I had a great time. I learned how to bake, ate great food.

I had a lot of work, and Ross offered to help.

I had no idea. Please, you do it for me!

I had seen this thing on the Discovery Channel.

I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet.

I had the most amazing bath.

I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower.

I had to ask what it was called when the water makes those bubbles.

I had to get away from the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.

I had to give the kid 50 bucks to stop crying.

I hate to be a ball buster, but can I just do it?

I hate to be the one to say it..

I hate you!

I have a friend who's a cop, and he got it.

I have a son, Ben. Uh, hi, Ben. And, uh

I have a son. His mother and I didn't live together.

I have a villa in the Loire Valley you can stay in.

I have been begging for months and you did, you cleaned!

I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them.

I have lots of clients that make those noises.

I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat."

I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life.

I have new respect for Chandler.

I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother.

I have no idea what I'm doing. For all I know, I'm locking it more.

I have no idea.

I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good. I'll show you.

I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium.

I have to find a new bank, adult bookstore, grocery store..

I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks my bladder is a squeeze toy.

I have to go too, but I don't want him complimenting my thing.

I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me.

I have to pee.

I have to put on a new lock. They'll find out anyway.

I have to say, that earns "two two" pieces of candy

I have to stop by my place.

I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C..

I have to warm up my stomach first.

I have to. If I don't, they'll take the class away from me.

I haven't been able to stand up since. Ha, ha. But I don't think it's serious.

I haven't bummed you guys out like this in a while, have I?

I haven't discussed it, but he's gonna be relieved.

I haven't even read the specials.

I haven't seen you since Lance Davis' graduation party.

I haven't thought about how I put myself out there..

I haven't thought about it. What should I say?

I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away, and I am so sorry for your loss.

I heard you have a problem with a boy in your class.

I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting. Yes, I do.

I hope it's not an inappropriate time to say..

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but, um...

I hope you're a better father than you are a friend!

I hope you're going somewhere with this.

I just Bamboozled Chandler.

I just came by to tell you that..

I just came here to say that.

I just can't be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars.

I just didn't see the fast song coming.

I just don't know if we're really quite there yet.

I just had the greatest idea. I'm gonna come live with you.

I just hope she realizes how hard it's gonna be.

I just keep thinking, "I'll get over this," you know?

I just never thought I'd be raising this baby all by myself.

I just talked to my agent..

I just think it's wrong. I mean, here I am, about to pop...

I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.

I just thought it would be something fun for us to do together..

I just want Joey to be the father.

I just want to have a normal life."

I just want to say I'm not mad at you..

I just want you to be okay.

I just wanted so much to be impulsive for once.

I just wanted you to know that you have made us happier

I just wish Nana were alive to hear Ross' toast.

I just... I get so angry, just looking at her...

I just... I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.

I kind of hope it's the girl.

I knew I'd get here fast, but this has gotta be some kind of a record!

I knew it. Come on, tell me your moves.

I knew that! I was just messing with you too!

I knocked off all your top scores. How sad.

I know her!

I know how you feel. Oh, yeah.

I know I probably don't say it enough.

I know I wanted to. I just wasn't sure if you did.

I know I'm not supposed to know, but I do and I'm so excited for you.

I know it doesn't sound like anything, but it works.

I know it. You're right. That's not sexy.

I know it's a little out there, but...

I know it's a terrible thing to even think this and it's inappropriate...

I know it's bad. And I know it's wrong, okay?

I know it's really not my place...

I know normally Ross gives the toast, but this year I'll do it.

I know they cost a lot, but I'll wear them all the time. You'll see!

I know this is a lot.

I know we broke up because you thought I wasn't mature enough...

I know what it's like to give a woman all your love..

I know what you're thinking. Fun was fine for you 10 years ago.

I know you all hate me, and I'm sorry, but I don't care.

I know you hate it when people are mad at you...

I know you're hurting..

I know you're miserable. I wish there was something I could do.

I know you've been depressed lately, so I brought someone to cheer you up.

I know, I couldn't see it either at first. But it's right, um...

I know, I know.

I know, I know. I panicked. I panicked.

I know, I told you, it's a really big problem!

I know!

I know! She's not only my friend, she's my pregnant friend.

I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?

I know! Why don't you meet him and get tickets?

I know! You know what? I'm putting Ruth back on the table.

I know.

I know.

I know. And I can't force myself to fall in love with her.

I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for them.

I know. Can you believe that?

I know. I found it on the street.

I know. I know.

I know. I remember toward the end..

I know. I'm a neurologist. Just to be on the safe side..

I know. I'm coming soon to a theater near you.

I know. If you try to make it more, you might wreck it.

I know. It haunts me.

I know. It sounds crazy, and I'm not impulsive, but..

I know. Mona, just hear me out.

I know. Oh.

I like being on my own. I'm better off this way.

I like him a lot. He's real funny.

I like it.

I like parties.

I like Ruth. What about Ruth?

I like things just the way they are.

I like your bow.

I like your necklace.

I lit candles, I put on music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath.

I live in the building.

I lost my wife five years ago to a mild cardial infarction.

I love Ben. But every time I drop him off at Carol and Susan's..

I love her.

I love it! It's huge! Let's open it! Open it!

I love living with her, and helping out with the baby is amazing.

I love living with you so much.

I love spending time with you. I just hope we're moving forward.

I love taking limos when nobody died

I love the way you kiss.

I love the way you kiss.

I love to ski! How amazing is this?

I love when you talk dirty to me.

I love you in spite of that.

I love you so much.

I love you too.

I love you!

I love your neighborhood. There's a great gym around the corner from your building.

I love your place. Where is this guy from?

I loved the specifics. The specifics were the best part.

I made a list of everything I don't like about her.

I made you a mix tape.

I married you.

I may have some unresolved anger from my childhood.

I may play the fool at times...

I mean, he was possessive, he was jealous. He could never just let the little things go.

I mean, hi.

I mean, I love my mother, but, my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.

I mean, I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain.

I mean, I'll blow off this party right now. I'll do it!

I mean, I'm not in love with her.

I mean, it would She wouldn't be safe.

I mean, it would disrupt your entire life.

I mean, it's a little scary, but maybe it's right.

I mean, it's Rachel, for God's sakes.

I mean, look at that guy, for example.

I mean, look how cute she is.. was.

I mean, look, that one night we had was fun and certainly passionate.

I mean, of course you never leave a baby alone. Ha, ha.

I mean, she came into this world thinking everything.. Now me.

I mean, she was a little slutty, but who isn't?

I mean, she's a very nice woman...

I mean, think about it, this is a good thing. This is your first grandchild.

I mean, this is so great. We're gonna be baby buddies!

I mean, uh, we We were seeing each other a while ago...

I mean, we both try to pretend it's not there, but it is.

I mean, we get along great. She's so...

I mean, women have needs. Do it. Get yours.

I mean, you both said the right names

I mean, you're lucky it was me and not someone else.

I mean, you're my favorite guy in the whole world.

I must have left it at Mona's. I knew it!

I must say, this apartment, it's.. there are no words.

I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologist's office.

I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's an emergency.

I need to lie down.

I never did anything to hurt you in high school.

I never get calls!

I never thought I'd say this about a movie...

I normally wait till my date leaves, but you live here.

I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine. The '74 is sewage.

I ought to kill you.

I paid to have this done.

I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.

I promise.

I promised you a stripper...

I put them in my desk at work, and forgot about them until today.

I quit!

I read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth.

I realize I came on a little strong. It's because I think you're amazing.

I realized it a half hour ago, but I didn't want to say anything...

I really admire what you're doing. Just raising her all alone.

I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.

I really don't know what to tell you.

I really don't know what you're talking about, but okay.

I really feel like tomorrow it's gonna happen.

I really miss her.

I really shouldn't say. I'm really not supposed to.

I said a little bit, Ross. Now, how about you, Chandler?

I said I write a lot of my own lines, then the writers got mad...

I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldn't have said.

I saw a movie where there was a door. Nobody knew what was behind it.

I saw a woman breast feeding twins at the same time.

I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there.

I screwed up so bad.

I see a ladder.

I see it now.

I see. Nice sidestep on the "do do" thing.

I sent my friend, Joey, in here to find out stuff about you.

I should remember that.

I shouldn't be the one making her throw up.

I slipped on a giant booger.

I so wanted Ross to know first. But I'm so relieved that you guys know.

I spoke too quickly. There's a learning curve with this job.

I start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.

I still can't believe it. I'm the luckiest guy in the world.

I still can't believe it. Joey and Rachel?

I still can't believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.

I still need the calamari and salad.

I still remember my first good one:

I studied for a year in Barcelona.

I swear I didn't know she was a hooker. I mean...

I swear I didn't see anything! It was just a momentary lapse.

I swear to you, that's the guy.

I swear, I didn't know you guys would be here.

I talked to Joey. I wanted to see you.

I talked to the manager. No one's turned them in.

I think I may be able to book the Plaza on short notice.

I think I might know what this is about.

I think I want to take Chandler.

I think I'm falling in love with you.

I think if it was a little colder in here..

I think if the two of you had sex, the repercussions would be catastrophic.

I think it knows I'm talking about it. Don't you...? You're looking!

I think it's great that you wanted to meet here.

I think my water just broke.

I think she was.

I think so.

I think the parents should sit down together and converse.

I think the things you said were unfair...

I think there's something that we really need to talk about.

I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.

I think we do. Why don't we go inside.

I think we'll be okay.

I think you already are.

I think you don't want them to see you begging me.

I think you know where I wanna go

I think you should do it.

I think you'll find if I work here that I don't micromanage.

I think you're reading a little too much into it.

I think you're right.

I thought he was a great guy. I was so excited about him.

I thought he'd love it.

I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you.

I thought I'd let you know how it went.

I thought it felt a little hotter in the office today.

I thought Joey and I would be okay..

I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentine's Day.

I thought of it when we were going out.

I thought that was because I put the whole thing..

I thought that was her.

I thought there was a mirror there. Okay. Bye.

I thought we were moving forward. Now you're sending me all these mixed signals.

I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor, bachelorette parties.

I thought when I had another kid, it'd be different.

I told him how talented you were and all about Days of our Lives.

I told Monica that I'd send those wedding invitations weeks ago.

I told you you were a bath person. Hey, maybe I can give you a facial.

I understand if you came by to hit me. I deserve it.

I understand.

I understand. Who would cancel an actual date just to go to a fake bachelor party?

I usually get to know a girl better before I let her spoon me.

I wanna be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day!

I wanna get in on this. Hey, Mon?

I wanna talk to that bastard, see what his problem is.

I wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity.

I want her to love me back.

I want him to have his uncle.

I want to apologize. Okay? We were being jerks.

I want to be very clear..

I want to be with kids. Since I got pregnant, I have maternal instincts.

I want to have dinner with you.

I want to talk about your menu. Anyone want coffee?

I want to thank you guys for how great you've been during this.

I want you to know that I'll be there through this whole thing. Okay?

I want you to know that if it's positive, we're gonna..

I wanted the doughnut.

I wanted to do this days ago, so I think I should go first.

I wanted to get transferred up here, but it's not gonna happen.

I wanted to have a few beers..

I wanted to pay you back with the premiere, but you missed it.

I was 13?

I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.

I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.

I was at the concession stand at the movies.

I was at the end of this path, and there was a lake.

I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you...

I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo..

I was his thin friend.

I was kind of hoping you'd stay.

I was like, "Why, God? Why? How can you take them away from me!"

I was like:

I was outside Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo.

I was planning on wearing a sequin dress cut down to here.

I was really nervous. I'm told I come on too strongly, too many jokes.

I was right. This is what it feels like to be right.

I was sending signals? Anyone think that I'd send Ross begging signals?

I was supposed to meet her an hour ago. What is wrong with me?

I was supposed to meet her an hour ago. What is wrong with me?

I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.

I was talking to this nurse. Completely forgot

I was thinking about taking my lunch break.

I was thinking..

I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill.

I was walking down the street, thinking, "I'm gonna tell the father today." And then, bam!

I was watching a 60 Minutes piece on orphans in Romania..

I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us.

I wasn't calm! I've never been more scared in my life.

I wasn't trying to open your closet, I swear.

I went crazy. I was thinking about myself when I should've been thinking about you.

I will prove it to you.

I will, I'm just not up for it tonight

I will.

I wiped it on Chandler's coat and got the hell out.

I wish I could be more involved, you know?

I wish I didn't feel this way about Rachel. I wish things could be normal.

I wish I were a sea horse.

I wish I would have been there to feel the kicking for the first time.

I wish we could work it out, but we can't.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

I wish you'd get over her. I hate seeing you like this.

I won't call anybody. It was a million years ago.

I won't date. I'll, uh...

I won't.

I wonder why, pervert.

I work at Ralph Lauren. The fall line has got this equestrian theme.

I would destroy you.

I would do it, but she thinks I'm attracted to her.

I would just like to say that Joey...

I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheese.

I would love to be around for you and the baby.

I would say, "Woman, please."

I would take her in my arms and..

I would... Sequoia!

I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you.

I wouldn't think Hobbes would like that so much.

I write erotic novels..

I'd be happy to. You are very sweet.

I'd be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.

I'd be scared of them, but all right.

I'd be self conscious. You're my friend. I'd be naked.

I'd consider naming our child that.

I'd do it soon.

I'd have to say the talking gorilla.

I'd just gone to the beach that weekend.

I'd kind of like to make a move.

I'd like to go up the Ladder of Chance to the Golden Mud Hut, please.

I'd like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldn't that be nice?

I'd like to meet him. He sounds like a standup guy.

I'd like to order a pizza. Can I ask you a question?

I'd like to propose a toast to Monica and Chandler..

I'd like to talk about something I'm uncomfortable talking about.

I'd like you to meet Dennis Phillips. Dennis, this is my son, Chandler.

I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping.

I'd prefer not to answer that right now. I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.

I'd rather have the money.

I'll be back in a minute.

I'll be back in a moment.

I'll be here with you all the time.

I'll be in there.

I'll be in there.

I'll be right back.

I'll be right out.

I'll be there. I have to wear a costume to my classes that day anyway.

I'll be watching TV if anybody needs me.

I'll change and we can go.

I'll escape there. I'll come back here.

I'll fire him, and you go out with him another week.

I'll get us some drinks. Could you help me?

I'll get you later.

I'll give him your number if I could just get one calamari and one caesar salad!

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

I'll have a mocha ccino.

I'll help you look.

I'll just be browsing through the personals.

I'll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best.

I'll let myself out.

I'll let myself out. It's like I'm not here. Which I almost wasn't.

I'll look at your tea leaves and tell your fortune.

I'll look forward to your call.

I'll miss you too, Pheebs.

I'll never be a bride again. Now I'm just someone's wife.

I'll pass, but you look radiant.

I'll prove it like a theorem!

I'll step aside if you wanna go with Don and live in a house of cheese.

I'll take another question.

I'll take care of everything. In fact, I'll start right now.

I'll take the real pictures to them developed.

I'll take those to go.

I'll take your mind off of childbirth, and C sections...

I'll tell you what, from now on, we'll make time to hang out with each other.

I'll tell you what. I will go get them developed, and you can go home.

I'll try that.

I'll try to control myself.

I'm a lesbian.

I'm a lone wolf.

I'm a pretty little girl.

I'm a professional and I'm really good.

I'm actually glad Phoebe called.

I'm actually with her on this one.

I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.

I'm afraid you might mess it up.

I'm all for living, but this is the Gellers' 35th anniversary.

I'm alone and I just bought $15 worth of candy bars. What do you think?

I'm an actor, and any actor worth his salt can cry on cue.

I'm an actor, you know?

I'm better than great. I am good.

I'm betting against all of you?

I'm breaking up with you.

I'm Catwoman, who wants the dress when you're too big for it.

I'm Chandler.

I'm curious about the human body.

I'm dating Mona. Damn it, Mona!

I'm dilated three!

I'm doing it. Three centimeters. That's gotta be like this, right?

I'm doing this for the fans, not the free food. Ha, ha.

I'm done. Do mine.

I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray. I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.

I'm falling in love with you.

I'm fighting for every man in the 82nd Ground Division.

I'm finally in a relationship that's not moving too fast.

I'm fine, but someone make sure it's gone when I get out?

I'm fine. But that's not important. What's important is how was she?

I'm getting that baby out of you!

I'm glad you called. I feel like I'm always calling you.

I'm going to leave, and you're gonna look at Brenda's bra.

I'm going to tell the father today.

I'm going.

I'm gonna be a poppy.

I'm gonna be in Soap Opera Digest.

I'm gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts.

I'm gonna go now.

I'm gonna go pack my regular, long bathing suit.

I'm gonna have a baby!

I'm gonna have a baby.

I'm gonna have a baby.

I'm gonna kill myself!

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna need a bigger boat.

I'm gonna put the bourbon in it at home.

I'm gonna reduce my parents to sniffling, quaking masses of..

I'm gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before.

I'm gonna take a bath. I was gonna get a magazine.

I'm gonna take her to an amazing Valentine's dinner...

I'm gonna take that book and I'm gonna beat you to death with it.

I'm gonna take you out to dinner.

I'm gonna wait a couple of years and then the baby will tell him.

I'm happy for you.

I'm happy things worked out for us and we're having this baby. I love you.

I'm having the worst time.

I'm in love too. But in an orderly fashion.

I'm in THX. I'm unsuitable for children!

I'm indignant as a consumer!

I'm indignant as a consumer!

I'm Jim. Jim Nelson.

I'm Joey. I don't get deep feelings.

I'm just finding myself..

I'm just gonna close this door so we can talk about you.

I'm just gonna grab my coat. And, uh, my whip.

I'm just gonna put this back in my pocket and pretend that didn't happen.

I'm just gonna wait for Chandler to open up the rest of them.

I'm just gonna..

I'm just kidding. Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.

I'm just saying that, you know..

I'm just saying, don't freak out until you're 100 percent sure.

I'm just so organized that..

I'm just thinking about Phoebe. Poor, knocked up Phoebe.

I'm just thinking about your new bride.

I'm just... You know, I just don't feel that way about you.

I'm kind of going through a dry spell, sex wise.

I'm kind of thinking it was the lobster.

I'm late for a meeting. Could you make it quick?

I'm looking for a man.

I'm looking forward to the next part..

I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend a weekend with her father..

I'm miserable. I may as well make some money out of it.

I'm missing picture time!

I'm not a bachelor anymore.

I'm not comfortable doing this in front of the babies.

I'm not crazy about babies. I'm crazy about us.

I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross.

I'm not even scared to tell Mom and Dad. I was scared of telling you.

I'm not giving tickets to someone who'd use their son like this.

I'm not gonna be able to do that for so long. And it's so much fun.

I'm not gonna make love to you so you'll go into labor.

I'm not gonna tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.

I'm not great at the advice.

I'm not here! That's just my Chinese food.

I'm not hungry.

I'm not into anything weird, you know? Heh.

I'm not pregnant.

I'm not pregnant.

I'm not returning them.

I'm not saying this because I'm your friend, I say it because it's true.

I'm not smart.

I'm not sure about the whole card thing.

I'm not sure how to do that. I've never been in love, so..

I'm not sure yet. Why didn't you just tell me about all this?

I'm not sure.

I'm not! We're having a girl!

I'm okay, honey.

I'm okay.

I'm on it!

I'm on my way to tell her right now.

I'm phasing out the wine importing and focusing more on the cheese.

I'm picking Ben up tomorrow. Maybe he'll be there.

I'm pregnant.

I'm real sorry for whatever I did to you in high school.

I'm really not high. I just used to be fat.

I'm really, really not.

I'm ripping into the swan.

I'm Ross, I don't believe we met. I'm Monica's older brother.

I'm serious. You need to find out where she is.

I'm slipping into something a little less comfortable and a little more slutty.

I'm so glad you're here, but it's gonna be a while. I wish you'd called first.

I'm so gonna leave right now.

I'm so happy for you guys. And you are both so lucky!

I'm so happy.

I'm so humiliated.

I'm so sorry I missed the ceremony. I was stuck at auditions.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry about yesterday.

I'm sorry I brought it up.

I'm sorry I lied to you. I was just trying to make things..

I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding...

I'm sorry that I was hogging the game before.

I'm sorry too. But I like things done a certain way.

I'm sorry, all the first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.

I'm sorry, but I never got to be in a club. I didn't go to high school.

I'm sorry, did you just say it's Rachel?

I'm sorry, did you say "cheese"?

I'm sorry, I couldn't even get through that.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over all the winning.

I'm sorry, I didn't know. You okay?

I'm sorry, Jack's father's not available.

I'm sorry, okay? I went down to the gift shop.

I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel like an Isabella.

I'm sorry, so where are we?

I'm sorry, your mouth was full. I didn't hear what you said.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. But we have to have some boundaries. My God, I'm dying.

I'm sorry. Bye.

I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green.

I'm sorry. For the last time, why aren't you two together again?

I'm sorry. I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.

I'm sorry. I gotta cancel tonight, baby.

I'm sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are.

I'm sorry. I thought I could do it, and I can't.

I'm sorry. I'm not ready for a relationship right now.

I'm sorry. I'm staring.

I'm sorry. I've never had a maid before. Is this not okay?

I'm sorry. It's just that, um, I cook at this restaurant, Allessandrds...

I'm sorry. It's just, when I look at you...

I'm sorry. My foot itches like crazy.

I'm sorry. Patient information is confidential.

I'm sorry. Please, please. You were in Western Europe, and..?

I'm sorry. Semi private rooms are all we have.

I'm sorry. They just looked so good. The saleswoman was like:

I'm sorry. They surprised me. There was nothing I could do.

I'm sorry. Things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but that's rare.

I'm sorry. What's the big deal about a holiday card?

I'm still tired from this afternoon.

I'm supposed to be working now, so who cares!

I'm supposed to teach a seminar there in 10 minutes.

I'm sure it does.

I'm sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.

I'm sure that's not true.

I'm sure you can get another one at Ann Taylor's.

I'm sweating. Now I'm saying look at me, I'm even sweatier. I should go.

I'm telling you, I'm telling you, that's what it is.

I'm telling you, Rachel, listen to Janice.

I'm telling you, the guy from that show was here..

I'm telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding.

I'm the head chef. I can't get promoted.

I'm the nice one!

I'm the one that danced with the kids all night. I..

I'm the reason you didn't get the job.

I'm there!

I'm thinking of joining an "I Hate Turkey Club."

I'm trying to tell you..

I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away.

I'm very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.

I'm worried about my baby. Whoever she dates, my baby dates.

I'm worried the baby won't like him.

I'm worried your bosses might see them and think they pay you too much money

I'm, uh, going to pick up Mona. What you got going on tonight?

I'm, uh, Professor Geller.

I've always felt like you and I have this special bond.

I've always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed..

I've been dying to tell someone what happened in the paleontology department.

I've been feeling guilty about this. I wanna be a good friend...

I've been here a while, and I've never seen what's in there.

I've been looking for this for like a month.

I've been seeing that guy everywhere I go.

I've got a stack of documents this high.

I've got Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy.

I've got friends too.

I've got my notes. You got the presents?

I've had them for all you guys. Except for Ross and Chandler.

I've just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.

I've lived in New York, somewhat wildly, I guess..

I've lost sight of why we're doing this.

I've never laughed so hard. Did you see the wine come out my nose?

I've pressed a button triggering an alarm.

I've still got it.

I've stopped looking for Russell Crowe.

If anything, that picture keeps moving further away.

If he did, you don't know how she'd react.

If I can't find the right case, I use the nearest one.

If I could get in a Broadway show, then I would've done it all.

If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble.

If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble.

If I do this, can we discuss balcony sex?

If I don't come out, it's because I've choked to death on the potpourri stink.

If I had to give you up It's only been a year

If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.

If I haven't said it before, she's a lucky, lucky lady.

If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby..

If I just don't look at you for a while.

If I may? You told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right?

If I see him, I'll ask.

If I went, I'd be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do..

If in 35 years, we're half as happy as you guys are..

If it comes up, we'll smile, we'll nod along..

If it helps, Alexandra's only been massaging her for three years.

If it means that much to you.

If it.. You know, if it helps, you came off great.

If it's a girl, Phoebe. And if it's a boy, Pheebo.

If it's a girl, Rain.

If it's gonna help bring the baby here, today..

If it's not, then there's two of them.

If only there was something in your head to control the things you say.

If Ross isn't willing, he's not the only guy you can have sex with.

If she ends up with somebody else..

If she is where you are..

If she needs costume ideas, she could be a bikini model.

If she's not where you are, you can start to move on.

If that happens at another building I manage, people will start asking questions.

If that.

If they don't want me there, I'll hang out with you guys

If they knew what they were doing, they didn't give you real names.

If this game is gonna cause problems between you...

If we do that, we should come up with some kind of order.

If we'd gone around them like I said, she'd have given us those tickets. Damn it.

If you bring in one more woman who has her baby before me, I will sue you.

If you do the ears, you may as well take a pass at the nose.

If you don't clear this off, you won't get one of those from me.

If you don't want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.

If you ever have any problem with the ladies, you know I'll help you out.

If you get two, I'll take you.

If you guys knew about this, a heads up would have been nice.

If you had some candles and bubbles and music, you'd love it.

If you hadn't initiated it, I know I would have.

If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender.

If you want to, I could just hold them down and you could just..

If you want to, we can do it one more time.

If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get myself a drink.

If you're gonna have a roommate, it may as well be the father.

If you're not pregnant..

If you're talking about me, I'll go with you.

If you're uncomfortable, we can stop. Give me a chance. Please?

If! I said, if it helps.

Imagine bringing home some girl...

In a minute? What's gonna happen in a minute?

In a way, I judge her for not breaking up with me sooner.

In about 10 seconds, he kisses me.

In about 5 seconds, you'll see why.

In case you didn't notice, that is a scary man.

In Europe.

In exchange for money.

In fact, I wanna talk to the president of the condom company.

In fact, I'll go in to my room now and try the outfit on.

In fact, let's try my special way. You can dance on my feet.

In fact, why don't you go home and wait for the "Thank You" card?

In high school you made out with a 50 year old woman?

In honor of their 35th anniversary, I had a star named after them.

In my experience, I've found some are very effective.

In my spare time, I, uh, read to the blind.

In that cabinet?

In the middle of the exam, I put my pinkie in his chin dimple.

In this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?

In what John Huston film would you hear this line:

In your spare time. Do you cook? So you ski?

Including "Evil Bitch" and "Sick Bastard."

Instead of the vegetables...

Instead you told me Monica was pregnant?

Interesting.

Is he a good guy?

Is it because that punk Ross won't marry you?

Is it fair that you put on a cape and get stuff?

Is it hot in here?

Is it made of cheese?

Is it me, or is Veto starting to sound really good?

Is it okay if I bring someone to your parents' anniversary?

Is it possible the company that sold the jeans...

Is it Ross? It's Ross, isn't it?

Is it serious?

Is it someone in this building? That tall guy from the first floor?

Is its wondrous unpredictability, you know?

Is Joey here?

Is labor really as painful as everybody says it is?

Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?

Is Ross still here?

Is she gonna be okay?

Is she sick? Is it Dad's heart? Is that a sandwich?

Is somebody pregnant?

Is that "gal pal" spelled L O S E R?

Is that a beer bong for a baby?

Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?

Is that a real place?

Is that college talk for "horny"?

Is that your ring?

Is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very "Abercrombie & Fitch."

Is the pretty lady looking? Keep dancing.

Is there anything I can do for you? Do you wanna look down my top?

Is there anything more miraculous.. A picture of a dog! Whose is this?

Is there anything you're really bad at, you know, sexually?

Is this the same spoon that was in my cast?

Is this the video of the baby being born? This is Phoebe's.

Is your mother here? I could slap her on the butt.

Isn't it amazing how every baby is beautiful?

Isn't it funny how we kept meeting? It's as if someone wants us together.

Isn't it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.

Isn't it weird how next year there will be a baby at the table?

Isn't that ? Isn't that weird?

Isn't that a cool name?

Isn't that great?

Isn't that just the best feeling? Rubbing a fork on the bottom of your shoe?

Isn't this a woman's hat?

Isn't this the most incredible fight you've had in your life?

It breaks my heart a little.

It could've been. I didn't look at it.

It does when you combine it with, "This is embarrassing.

It does. How would you feel if you couldn't share your cooking?

It doesn't matter what people believe! It happened.

It felt like he was my friend.

It freaked me out. After a while, I tried to hurt you. It spurred you on.

It goes back to the first Thanksgiving when the Indians sat down with the cowboys.

It got four stars.

It happened about six weeks ago.

It happens whenever Chandler touches my stomach.

It has to go well. I'm scared for my health.

It hurts me. It physically hurts me.

It is a family name.

It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room he is staying in.

It is gonna be okay.

It is hot in here.

It is like a freak show up here.

It is rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host.

It is. Yeah, it's really tough. You know, sometimes I think...

It just isn't feasible

It just wasn't meant to be.

It kept rolling and recorded everything.

It kind of worked.

It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning...

It looks like a holiday card.

It makes sense now. This is why Adam Carter wouldn't go out with me.

It must be a good review. Is it great?

It really wasn't right. And I want to make it up to you.

It seems like yesterday they just got engaged.

It tastes like feet.

It took a while to get me in And I'm gonna take my time

It used to be.

It was amazing.

It was an accident, okay?

It was awful.

It was dead silent. Gorgeous.

It was different for you guys. You were both in the same place.

It was difficult coming out to my parents.

It was either this or a bathrobe. What's more important:

It was gone.

It was great! We got everything we needed.

It was his sweater. But, oh, my God!

It was like It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances.

It was nice to see you.

It was pink, or no bunny at all.

It was really wonderful. Did you just make that up?

It was the chair again. Okay? I'm not doing it!

It wasn't just me. We had a club.

It will be in a minute.

It won't be what you thought. But no matter what..

It would have happened either way.

It wouldn't kill you to respect your wife's privacy!

It'd be like you falling in love with a cat.

It'd take all your stress away.

It'll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.

It'll be a small ceremony. Just family.

It'll be like I was at work.

It'll be okay. He's been incredibly supportive of me.

It'll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores.

It'll take me a while to get over her.

It's 2:00 on Wednesday, I'm watching Road Rules. How stressed am I?

It's a button down, like a faded salmon color?

It's a couple weeks past its expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick.

It's a dead dog.

It's a disgusting habit, and I want you to quit now!

It's a fine line.

It's a good question, Dad. It's a good question.

It's a good thing I didn't do it, it sounds like a very expensive wedding.

It's a grand tradition.

It's a long walk from the flower shop and I was starting to feel faint, so...

It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom.

It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom.

It's a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.

It's a wedding ring. Get rid of it. We'll throw it in the East River!

It's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds.

It's almost twice as hard up here.

It's an all Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese?

It's an expression.

It's bad enough you call your own mother that.

It's because I am.

It's because I was trying to repel you. Right?

It's been a while since we screamed. Maybe we should.

It's been one heck of a seesaw, hasn't it?

It's Bob, actually.

It's Bogoda, but close enough.

It's chicken.

It's coming! It's coming!

It's complicated, okay?

It's complicated.

It's different. Greg and Jenny are married.

It's different. It's interesting.

It's exactly how I imagined it would be.

It's freaking him out. He wants to move to Vermont.

It's from France.

It's going really good. But enough about me! Come on.

It's going somewhere..

It's gonna be okay.

It's good, except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long.

It's got compartments for all your stuff: your wallet, your keys, your address book.

It's gotta be going somewhere, right?

It's gotta be rough.

It's incredible. I mean, one minute she's inside you..

It's interesting, most people think this is made with seawater.

It's interesting. Most people think that's made with seawater, when in fact...

It's Joey!

It's just a little thing.

It's just I don't think I handled it very well.

It's just me and my pal, Rooster. The band's name is Numbnuts.

It's just not the right time.

It's just so glamorous.

It's just that I liked you so much. Can we just start over?

It's just that you have the most beautiful eyes.

It's just, I'm in a place in my life right now where..

It's just, if we got together again and it didn't work out..

It's just, it's Rachel. You know?

It's just, like, you're trying too hard, always making jokes.

It's just, Rachel and I, we're doing really well now.

It's just.. God, I hated her.

It's just...

It's kind of falling apart here.

It's Lafite.

It's like he's running on tiny little pegs.

It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all. Click.

It's like ripping off this Band Aid, quick and painless. Watch.

It's like you and me going out, only weirder.

It's like you're a cave person.

It's locked. You have to help me. Why is it locked?

It's me, Phoebe.

It's more money. I'd be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.

It's much better than first grade, and definitely better than third.

It's mundane. It's actually a little dull.

It's my boss.

It's negative.

It's New York Magazine, an article about the best schools in the city.

It's nice to do this together, isn't it?

It's nice. Wow, Phoebe, you are good.

It's no big deal, all right?

It's no big deal. Phoebe and I talked. It's a crush. It'll go away.

It's no Ukrainian film.

It's not a big deal? I'm sorry, I just..

It's not all bad. I'm learning to appreciate the small things, like..

It's not because she hates Enya.

It's not fair to her. Let's forget the tape.

It's not gonna be like regular crying. It's gonna be like Terms of Endearment crying.

It's not important.

It's not just an "M." Your middle name is Muriel!

It's not just Phoebe. Will's still on a diet, Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food..

It's not just the stuff he paid for. It's everything, you know?

It's not kicking now.

It's not like anything's ever gonna happen.

It's not like he's calling me Muriel.

It's not pink!

It's not worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. It's a lot of work.

It's oddly unsettling.

It's okay. I'm ready.

It's perfect. We got a lot of time to kill, and we're in a building that's full of beds!

It's possible. They have really sharp edges.

It's pretty much what I was expecting.

It's Rachel.

It's Rachel.

It's Rachel. You're gonna never talk to her again?

It's Rachel's tape, and she can do whatever she wants.

It's so hard to care when you're this relaxed.

It's so hard to care when you're this relaxed.

It's so perfect, and she's been saving herself for me.

It's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.

It's so sad they never met.

It's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I can't do that to you.

It's still beautiful.

It's the restaurant. Monica needs me right away.

It's the semifinals..

It's time.

It's too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby. I just..

It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. The secret ingredient is...

It's unbelievable!

It's weird and it's awkward, but you gotta at least try.

It's worth finding out, if you like her.

It's worth finding out, if you really like her.

It's yelling, bleeding, dilating.

It's you.

It's, like, 15 blocks to the subway. Let's go.

Item J437 A.

Jack? I hate him. He's a jerk.

Jam, good. Meat, good.

James Brolin is the father of my baby.

James Brolin is the father of my baby.

Janice, I didn't even know you were pregnant.

Janice.

January 15?

Jeez, what's with you?

Jenny! That is so Jenny!

Jenny's been giving out their old number!

JILL: Hi. And that's Phoebe. And that's Joey.

Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25, like you did.

JOEY [ON MACHINE]: Hey, Ross, it's Joey. There's a hooker over here.

JOEY [ON TV]: You know, that's bad for the paper tray.

Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes.

Joey just thinks I'll embarrass him. He thinks I'm a soap opera nut.

Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."

Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentine's Day?

Joey Tribbiani. Big fan.

Joey, because they're not getting married...

Joey, could you get that?

Joey, I am out of control!

Joey, I am scared to death about this.

Joey, I love you so much.

Joey, I'm so proud of you.

Joey, look at this crib! It's so cute!

Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don't..

Joey, the baby is gonna be crying. It's gonna be loud.

Joey, there's something that you should know. Dina?

Joey, this is a smart idea.

Joey, what would you do if someone you slept with told you she was pregnant?

Joey, you're getting upset for nothing.

Joey, you're so sweet. You are so, so sweet, honey.

JOEY: All right, it's a new day. That stuff about Rachel?

JOEY: All right. It's a new day. And it's just a crush.

JOEY: Hello? We're in the bathroom!

JOEY: This is exciting for her.

JOEY: Why? Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable time!

Joey!

Joey?

Joey?

Joey? Are you in there?

Joey? What's up?

Joey? You got a present for my parents?

Joey. Oh, sweetie, what would I do without you?

Joey's gonna be thrilled. He was hoping you'd be a slutty nurse.

Joke, joke..

Julie's cervix is dilated seven centimeters. That's about four fingers!

Jump up my own ass and die.

Just a little, you know.

Just because he paid for your headshots, you're gonna take him?

Just because I think they're soul mates doesn't mean anything'll happen.

Just ignore them.

Just me, my lover, Carol, and the Stings.

Just normal sex.

Just nurses, doctors and semi private rooms.

Just one more thing in my life that's completely different.

Just over here. I don't wanna miss the fight.

Just remember, I'm a minute younger.

Just seeing her brought it all back.

Just so you know, Dr. Long can't be here today, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.

Just so you know, I'm not gonna make a turkey this year..

Just so you know, we're not seeing him tomorrow.

Just something I want Phoebe's opinion on for Valentine's Day.

Just tell him and get it over with.

Just tell me how.

Just then or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?

Just think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping.

Just toss them in the shredder and claim you never got them.

Just try not to move your feet at all.

Just wait.

Kash, this is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash.

Keep going! Keep going!

Keep pushing!

Ken Adams!

Kids are tough. Good luck with that.

Know what? If we're gonna make dinner, we're gonna have to leave.

Know what? We're out of candy. But someone went for more.

Know what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones

Knowing you're gonna have to wake up to the same face every day...

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you:

Lady.

Last night I asked you to take them.

Last night. I went into Joey's room, and he was sleeping.

Last time I checked, Los Angeles didn't have a football team.

Last week he brought this girl over...

Last week, when I asked you when your due date was..

Last weekend, I went from store to store, sitting on Santas' laps.

Leaving my troubles behind?

Leaving my troubles behind?

Lee from Human Resources is here as a witness to our conversation.

Let me ask you something.

Let me ask you. Do you believe in soul mates?

Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls.

Let me explain to you how the human body works.

Let me fix your pillow.

Let me get it out before it sets. I have something you could wear.

Let me get my checkbook!

Let me just bend over and get it.

Let me just get my boots off first.

Let me know how it goes.

Let me think, let me think. Oh, uh, I don't care.

Let me win. My wife thinks I'm a wimp.

Let us begin.

Let's act like we're on our honeymoon.

Let's call a spade a spade. This party stinks.

Let's cross that bridge when my aunt and uncle who I haven't seen in 15 years..

Let's do the card!

Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths.

Let's go, big bunny!

Let's go. One more time. One final push. Ready? One, two, three.

Let's just cut to the chase. You're single. You're single.

Let's just say it's ironic how footage of someone being born...

Let's just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual.

Let's leave these two alone.

Let's not see a movie. We'll just stay here and hang.

Let's play the game of..

Let's play this one first, and remember, whoever talks first loses.

Let's say more.

Let's see. Just one moment, please, um...

Let's see. There's design. But you may need another degree for that.

Let's talk about something else.

Let's talk about the different areas of fashion...

Let's try something. Let's play a game.

Let's you and me go out and have some fun.

Let's.

Like asking her to move in with you?

Like mine is now!

Like my friend the bird here would say, "It was cuckoo!"

Like you haven't done enough.

Like.

Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year.

Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, this is not legal.

Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys.

Listen, I, uh...

Listen, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger.

Listen, I've been doing some thinking..

Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment.

Listen, the number that you gave me, 8 5 3..

Listen, to be honest, home deliveries aren't really part of my job description.

Listen, why don't we just sit and relax, just be with each other quietly.

Listen, you don't have to apologize. I understand why you were there.

Listen, you know what? Sir, for the last time, I don't care what the computer says.

Listen, your family is really starting to warm up to me.

Little bigger.

Little bigger.

Little Ruthie Geller? How cute is that?

Living with the father of the baby. It's a little conventional for us.

Llegglachen.

Look at her standing there with those yams.

Look at that face. Just like when you were in high school.

Look at that. They're going into the first class lounge.

Look at the little munchkin.

Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat...

Look at this plate bouncy thing.

Look at those little fingers and toes.

Look at you guys!

Look at you two. When did you guys meet?

Look at you. You're this big executive.

Look confident.

Look how nervous he gets! We haven't slept together in years!

Look who's married! And just in time too, I hear.

Look, Eric, turn around.

Look, I appreciate it, but, uh, it's a little creepy, you know?

Look, I don't.. You know what?

Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before...

Look, I forgot my underwear.

Look, I had a lot of water. Can we do this after ?

Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian...

Look, I know sometimes it'll be hard, okay...

Look, I like you, but it shouldn't be this hard. It's our first date.

Look, I made a mistake...

Look, I'm not gonna let you guys watch us.

Look, I'm sorry you lost.

Look, if I go to the doctor for anything...

Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand being around a baby...

Look, if it helps, I don't want to feel this way, honest.

Look, let's pretend it's a real bachelor party, okay?

Look, Pheeb, I'm sorry...

Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay? I was a stupid kid, okay?

Look, she's really nice, okay?

Look, the reason..

Look, this guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him!

Look, we're not gonna be together just because we're having this baby.

Look, we've apologized twice. I can't do any more than that.

Look, we've been together. Then apart. Then together, then apart.

Look, you're coming on a little strong.

Look. Look at Emma.

Look. See how they expand as the baby grows?

Looking at people differently.

Looks like he got you a little bit too.

Love it!

Love you.

Luckily, the guy she settled for can't hear you.

Lying. Six.

Ma, you're asking me to marry you?

Ma'am, I'm sorry. That information is restricted to hospital staff.

Ma'am?

Make love? What are you, a girl?

Making out with Mrs. Altmann, our 50 year old librarian.

MAN [ON TV]: Yeah, just relax. I love you, St. Valentine.

Man, this is bad. And I've had my share of bad reviews.

Man, you know what I have to realize?

Man, you see the kid on that nose?

MAN: All right, baby. One more time.

MAN: Now push! WOMAN: Unh!

Marching band, was kind of overweight. Really overweight.

Marriage advice? Really?

Married couples send out cards. Families send out cards.

Marry her.

Martin Llegglachen.

Massapequa, it sounds magical. Is it steeped in Native American history?

May I help you?

May she rest in peace.

Maybe a little help.

Maybe fight over the science section.

Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London.

Maybe he's in the sugar bowl. Joey? Nope.

Maybe he's the tea guy.

Maybe here.

Maybe I could meet the guy.

Maybe I need some kind of a gesture..

Maybe I need to be more careful. Am I sending these signals now?

Maybe I should stand on your feet!

Maybe I'm not the type of guy women can have just one night with.

Maybe it didn't happen.

Maybe it's for the best.

Maybe it's time you took a good, hard look in the mirror, young lady.

Maybe Joey could help you out with your big work problem.

Maybe later. Right now, I'm about to dance with this lady.

Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you.

Maybe people give out fake numbers, but not fake names.

Maybe put the CDs in their right cases.

Maybe she can give me a pill or something.

Maybe she hasn't really thought it through that much.

Maybe she wants you to learn something.

Maybe she's having her cake and eating it too.

Maybe they don't trust us.

Maybe we could try it again.

Maybe we won't be alone.

Maybe we'll see each other at dinner tomorrow. Around 8:00?

Maybe you fell asleep and dreamt the whole thing.

Maybe you need his advice on a work problem..

Maybe you should come to me. I'm not wearing any bottoms.

Maybe.

Maybe. But it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, you know?

Mazel tov.

Me neither. We have to get in!

Me too! Chandler hates it. I can't have blue cheese in the house.

Me too.

Me too.

Me? Gay? No. No. No.

Meshugga Nut?

Might as well be honest with you. We love her.

Mild discomfort! What's he talking about?

Mild discomfort? I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies?

Mine haven't been so bad. Oh, here comes one now.

Mine is a picture of the Village People. What does that mean?

Mm hm, yes, she's emotional, but ballsy.

Mm hm. Okay.

Mm hm. That's good to know. But let's stop focusing on what you don't do...

Mm.

Mm.

Mm. Mm

Mm. Mm mm mm.

Mm. Ooh.

Mmm.

Mom, Dad, when I got married..

Mon, is it too late to switch from chicken to steak?

Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.

Mona, it's time we had a conversation about where things are with us.

Mona?

Mona?

Mona?

Mona. What a beautiful name.

Mona...

MONICA [LISPING]: Okay. I bit my tongue.

Monica and I split up.

Monica couldn't get braces because Chi Chi needed knee surgery.

Monica got me porn?

Monica has a secret closet. She won't let me see it.

Monica runs a pretty tight ship here, doesn't she? What are you doing?

Monica, can I talk to you for a second?

Monica, if you step away, we'll get Chandler and the bridesmaids.

Monica, that's not right. Start with where.

Monica, what is the matter with you?

MONICA: Bye.

Monica? Did you know about this?

Monica? We need more candy.

Monica.

More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?

Morning

Mother of God, it's true!

Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing.

Mr. Bing, you'll be in 25J, and Mrs. Bing, you're in 25K.

Mr. Treeger? It's Joey Tribbiani.

Mrs. Altmann, you can tell, she used to be pretty.

Mrs. Altmann? She also made out..

Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible. Where did you get it?

Mrs. Green?

Mrs. Green?

Mrs. Green? Okay, I'm really sorry. I apologize. If you just Aah!

Mrs. K. Oh, yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish.

Much less happy.

Muriel. Why would he call you Muriel?

My baby went with her.

My baby's going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?

My boots in tan! Get closer so I can see the price.

My boss wants to buy my baby.

My due date is in one week!

My duties?

My ex wife didn't work.

My father's upstairs in tears because you got blood on his dress.

My friend Irene heard it from some guy.

My friend Lewis told me you were giving out money.

My friends are having a party tonight, so you could come.

My God, he wants to do it with Phoebe in London!

My God, the baby's kicking. That's great.

My God, what a fantastically well lit hallway.

My God, you must be good in bed.

My God! This is absolutely amazing! You've never made this before?

My gynecologist tried to kill me.

My hero!

My kid comes running in, leaps up on the bed and we all read the paper.

My mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats.

My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap!

My pleasure. Okay, I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

My second graders helped.

My shoes give me a problem on the dance floor. Can I borrow your boots?

My son? Pretty serious.

My two greatest enemies: Rachel Greene and complex carbohydrates.

My youngest sister, Dina. She's interested in fashion.

Name this television theme song:

Nana, my beloved grandmother, who would so want to be here.

Neither is mine.

Never done this before.

New haircut? Necklace? Dress? Boots? Boots!

Next thing you know, Ross comes on to me.

Nice to meet you. I'll get started on this.

Nice. Manly and also kind of a slut.

No bunny at all. Always no bunny at all!

No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present.

No matter what you do, I'm gonna come home with you, okay?

No movie fans?!

No need to point. She knows who Ross is.

No one. They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.

No one's here.

No problem. So who's the party for?

No reason. I keep private things in there.

No rejection?

No room? It's a baby. It's, like, this big.

No scented candles. Okay, here. There we go.

No self respecting man would ask a woman, "So where is this going?"

No strings attached. No relationship.

No uterus, no opinion.

No way.

No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding.

No wonder you're pregnant.

No, because friends don't do that. Do you want my opinion?

No, because that's the right thing to do.

No, but come on, we're off to a great start, aren't we?

No, but he told us what happened. It was an honest mistake.

No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you.

No, but look. Oh, that's gonna leave a stain.

No, but still, I mean, you can't possibly do this alone.

No, Chandler's really strong. My arm is so sore

No, dear. That's what babies do.

No, don't start another game. I'm next! Phoebe?

No, don't tear out your eyes!

No, don't tell me. Let me guess: Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel..

No, don't, I beg of you.

No, Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he's the father.

No, dude, you gotta hold your breath till you're ready to answer the question.

No, he's really great, though. He has this incredible zest for life.

No, honey, you're not sick. I don't love you because you're organized.

No, I can't go, I'm practicing. I got an audition to be the host of a game show.

No, I don't hate him.

No, I don't have a key. They took mine to give to you.

No, I don't want to hit you.

No, I got it. I'm good. I got it.

No, I got that.

No, I haven't seen your pink shirt.

No, I know. Because you're not in that place.

No, I love living with you. It just seems that..

No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.

No, I miss hanging out with you.

No, I ran, okay? It's really far.

No, I want the bread.

No, I'm good.

No, I'm just myself, and if they don't like me for...

No, I'm not gonna bother him. We were talking earlier..

No, I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again.

No, I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean.

No, I'm picking you up for our date. These are for you.

No, I've gotten in trouble for that before.

No, I've had second thoughts. Do you know how hard it'd be to clean?

No, it wasn't you.

No, it's gonna be great. Really.

No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross.

No, it's where you put dirty ones.

No, just a lot of close friends. Yeah.

No, no, ha, ha.

No, no, I have to see if this apartment became available.

No, no, I will. I just want to butter her up first.

No, no, I'm fine. It's just...

No, no, no, no, Ross!

No, no, no!

No, no, no. Give me some specifics.

No, no, sir. Um, she means a lot to me. I mean, I love Rachel.

No, no! I'll have nothing to show for my day.

No, no! Yes!

No, no.

No, no. I'm sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy.

No, no. Listen, I know how much this means to you.

No, no. That's a soap opera.

No, not really. You're pressing the baby into my bladder...

No, of course.

No, Pheeb, wait, he's a scary guy. I mean, one time he caught me smoking.

No, Phoebe, I just need you there for support.

No, really. I mean, that would be like a huge step forward.

No, Ross? Ross? Ross? My child has no father!

No, seriously, what's wrong with you?

No, she doesn't! I know what that is. You can stay.

No, she told me that his name was Ken Adams.

No, she's really old fashioned.

No, stay here. We'll keep doing this. I'll pay you.

No, sweetie. No, not like that.

No, that was Jared.

No, the baby's out. Look. Look.

No, the hotel lobby. They think they can charge me for some dirty movie...

No, they can't

No, they're not! They're ugly and stupid and delicious!

No, this is my red sweater.

No, wait, Joey, it is. It's something. It's..

No, wait! I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person.

No, we buy more of these at the gift shop, throw our tuxes on and take a few pictures.

No, we took a cab too. But I did test runs.

No, Will! No!

No, you! You freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is.

No, you're a horny bitch!

No, you're a horny bitch! No, you're a horny bitch!

No, you're fine.

No, you're not stupid.

No!

No!

No!

No! Don't call me "Mommy."

No! I don't care what my hormones are doing! I won't do it with some random guy!

No! I mean, not you. Not you.

No! No, he's not! Why are you trying to ruin the game?

No! No, they implanted embryos.

No! Okay? We've been through this.

No! You have been screwing us all day!

No?

No? They taste so good.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. A house made of cheese, wouldn't that be incredible?

No. Apparently little Molly Gilbert is enjoying her grown up salmon en croute.

No. But how much easier would it be if it were?

No. But I'll go see a normal person movie with you.

No. But someone's not gonna get over that idea.

No. Did you?

No. Halloween is stupid. Dressing up, pretending to be someone you're not.

No. He teaches a course on food criticism at The New School.

No. I believe that certain people are more suited for each other, but..

No. I didn't know if you told people. This was when Kash was still "people."

No. I don't wanna lose you. It's like I was saying to Ursula...

No. I promise I will finish that turkey.

No. I was getting into position, and everything went dark.

No. It's just that Katie bothered me.

No. Joey and Ross don't know anything, and Chandler thinks Phoebe's pregnant.

No. Monica's restaurant got a horrible review in the Post.

No. No, I can't. We're friends.

No. No, she was nice.

No. No! Seriously, what's wrong with the dog?

No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. She gave us ideas on how to induce labor.

No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks.

No. They really liked me there.

No. We'll start over.

No. We're just four people with neck problems, who talk like this.

Nobody else got hurt. And I was pretty lucky.

None will compare with tonight. I don't want to forget it.

Normally, I don't like sweaty guys. But I could just mop him up.

Not a problem. Just so you know..

Not a teacher, a waitress.

Not bad. You know that feeling, trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?

Not because I'm into S&M.

Not being ready and, kind of, the financial aspects, all that..

Not even bread. Just cheese.

Not great, we can work on it at lunch.

Not if we extract tissue from the original body..

Not in the shaky, angry way you are, though.

Not just a key. I gave her the only key!

Not just Janice. Janice in labor. Contracting and everything.

Not much to tell there. I'm really shy.

Not on the ones we sent out.

Not really.

Not really. But with cheese, I think the smellier, the better.

Not that kind of table.

Not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a 16 pound baby is not fun

Not the sex part. Just the stuff leading up to it.

Not this hospital. I'm gonna sue you. My husband is a lawyer.

Not too shabby. I got this all off myself..

Not touching myself, if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.

Not two years in a row.

Not what you said, it's just the way you said it.

Not you. Dr. Ramoray. Ask him questions and see what he's like.

Nothing in there concerns you. If you love me, you'll just let it go.

Nothing. I'm getting married next week.

Nothing. Phoebe kind of made a mistake.

Nothing. You have apologized to her like a million times.

Now I'm just gonna have a baby if I want to. Oh, what are you doing to me?

Now I'm like, "Mind's eye, you had no idea!"

Now I'm so happy.

Now I'm sweating.

Now I've upset you? What did I say?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and lie down.

Now she doesn't really have a face

Now that I know, if I've got extra stuff, can we share the closet?

Now that Ross knows, how'd it happen? When? How many times?

Now that she's gone, I can do stuff around here that I couldn't do before.

Now this is just a loan, okay? I'm gonna want him back.

Now you can't tell anyone, but, uh...

Now you're just a girl in a tub.

Now you're talking.

Now, as for the hadrosaurus...

Now, Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside...

Now, don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay.

Now, have you picked your nanny yet?

Now, honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control.

Now, I always felt that you and I have a special bond.

Now, I got my foot through the door And I ain't going nowhere

Now, maybe it would help if you knew some personal stuff about her.

Now, no pressure. If you like my cookies, you give me the star.

Now, off the record, you're not...

Now, should I climb down your front so we're face to face...

Now, the filet mignon, what comes with that?

Now, the hadrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations.

Now, um, the boy's name is Sting's son.

Now, wait, now I'm all freaked out. You guys will watch it with me?

Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango Card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?

Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango Card.

Now, you're all set up. Good to go. Just hit record. Good luck.

Now, you're gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it.

Now?

Now. Give him the sandwich

O

O as in Obie. E as in Ebie.

Obviously, this is a mistake. You can't be pregnant.

Of course he's gonna have his Uncle Joey.

Of course I do. And I'll give it back to you...

Of course not. Nothing is.

Of course she's not a teacher.

Of course you can. Hop on.

Of course you did. You'd date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones.

Of course, I know that.

Of course, the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it.

Of course. Heh.

Of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.

Of her bocce ball tournament.

Off the top of my head..

Oh

Oh, a subscription to Playboy. My kind of woman.

Oh, actually, I, um...

Oh, and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic.

Oh, and Ross almost got something that wasn't on the list.

Oh, and we should warn you before you watch it. Don't watch it.

Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute!

Oh, beautiful? Really? Huh, really?

Oh, but not before she gave me a nice, juicy shot of little Jamie crowning away.

Oh, by the way, my name's Johanna. What's yours?

Oh, Chandler, you're quite the dancer!

Oh, check these out.

Oh, come on, Joey, you'll totally keep it in check this time.

Oh, come on, Ross. I think we're all losers here.

Oh, come on!

Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby.

Oh, Daddy, I hope you're okay with all this.

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, damn it!

Oh, dear God.

Oh, don't get too worked up over it. It sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not.

Oh, don't worry. These babies are far too ugly for us.

Oh, finally. Ugh.

Oh, for the love of God!

Oh, forget it.

Oh, give it a rest.

Oh, God, get out! Get out, get out, get out!

Oh, God, Phoebe!

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Oh, God! Twenty seconds, my ass!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Chandler's making his sex face.

Oh, God. So hot. Oh, my God.

Oh, God. You're right.

Oh, good God, Ross, how the hell do you do it?

Oh, good God! If you want a baby so bad, just go steal it!

Oh, good. You're here.

Oh, great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore.

Oh, great. Great. Thank you.

Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear...

Oh, hey, Katie. What are you doing here?

Oh, hey, Mon? Rach is here.

Oh, hey, thanks again for showing me your semi precious stone collection.

Oh, hey, that's me.

Oh, hey. Hey, Ross! How's it going with you and Mona?

Oh, hey. I'd shake your hand but I'm really into the game.

Oh, hi, Ben. No, don't look at the machine!

Oh, hi, Mrs. Green. I'm so glad you could make it.

Oh, honey, but you love that name.

Oh, honey, but you love that name.

Oh, honey.

Oh, humped?

Oh, I almost forgot. I didn't pay you the rent.

Oh, I could squeeze your little head.

Oh, I don't eat meat.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Oh, I don't know that it would. Heh.

Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me? I have a life, you know?

Oh, I feel another one coming.

Oh, I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before.

Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you.

Oh, I love this scene.

Oh, I remember how we almost.

Oh, I said that I

Oh, I see what happened. Ha, ha.

Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork.

Oh, I told the stripper to be here at 5. That's good, right?

Oh, I wanted to.

Oh, I'll be fine. It's just.. God, I hate her, Ross! I hate her!

Oh, I'll be right back.

Oh, I'm gonna meet a guy! And really soon!

Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex.

Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna do this for my little girl.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Maybe I'm wrong.

Oh, I'm sorry. Are we having an 89 year old?

Oh, I've got big Valentine's plans.

Oh, it was really nice meeting you.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, it's nice. May I try a pink one?

Oh, it's so stupid.

Oh, Joey, you bummed him out! This is the happiest dog in the world.

Oh, Joey! Joey! It's not you! You didn't get anyone pregnant.

Oh, Joey. I don't want to lose..

Oh, just as well. I broke this one.

Oh, lilies. They're my favorite. Thank you

Oh, look at that. My beeper's going crazy.

Oh, look at you making up crap for me.

Oh, look. There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it.

Oh, man, I swear, if they sold these at Pottery Barn...

Oh, man, I'm sorry. Why?

Oh, man, this is so great!

Oh, man! You were so hard up, you practically came on to me.

Oh, maybe we shouldn't. If she just died this morning. Out of respect.

Oh, me, right.

Oh, mother of...!

Oh, my How much do you weigh, Ross?

Oh, my Chinese food. I'll get my cash.

Oh, my God, Eric, hi! Wait, how'd you get this number?

Oh, my God, for tiny salt!

Oh, my God, I can practically hear the mahjong tiles.

Oh, my God, I do love you! How did you do it?

Oh, my God, I'm going out with Eric!

Oh, my God, I'm gonna have a baby!

Oh, my God, Pheebs! You're gonna have a baby?

Oh, my God, really? Can I see it?

Oh, my God, she has food delivered here?

Oh, my God, she's here.

Oh, my God, Stu, I can't believe you did this.

Oh, my God, we did it!

Oh, my God, you are gonna love me so much.

Oh, my God, you cleaned! Look at these floors!

Oh, my God, you have such problems! I feel so terrible for you!

Oh, my God, your friends have some unfortunate initials.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! All he took were pictures of my breasts.

Oh, my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy!

Oh, my God! Bobby?

Oh, my God! Ha.

Oh, my God! I can't believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night.

Oh, my God! I know who the father is.

Oh, my God! I'm a woman!

Oh, my God! Let me see that.

Oh, my God! Look at all the newspapers.

Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!

Oh, my God! That's the doctor who was in my room before.

Oh, my God! This is amazing!

Oh, my God! You're getting a massage? You never let me massage you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. And that works?

Oh, my God. Congratulations, Ross. Because, Chandler...

Oh, my God. Is that why you guys had to get married?

Oh, my God. Look at the way he's just staring at me.

Oh, my God. Monica, he's the stripper from your bachelorette party.

Oh, my God. My ass is sweating.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

Oh, my God. Okay.

Oh, my God. She's amazing.

Oh, my God. She's gonna wanna sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen.

Oh, my God. Standing at a cash register, I'm holding a credit card, and I'm bored.

Oh, my God. This doesn't count. Okay? The interview was over.

Oh, my God. Was she old? Does she have a view?

Oh, my God. Well, the idea A woman flirting with a single man?

Oh, my God. What's he gonna do now? I can't watch.

Oh, my God. Who is it?

Oh, my God. Who is that?

Oh, my God. You did too? It freaked me out. What was that?

Oh, my God. You look so fantastic.

Oh, my goodness, where did you hide it?

Oh, my.

Oh, no, I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and take it all in.

Oh, no, I have to go. Ugh, I have a massage appointment.

Oh, no, I'll be there too.

Oh, no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?

Oh, no, Mom. It's just Monica this year.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, not at all. It's okay. Marc Horger. This is my wife, Julie.

Oh, no, she's.. Well, she's dead now, but..

Oh, no, that wouldn't work. My husband's in concert.

Oh, no, wait. I'm not a 9 year old girl.

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Monica would freak.

Oh, no? Pheebs, Monica, do I know anything about babies?

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller Greene.

Oh, no. I don't know anything about cooking.

Oh, no. I don't wanna risk what we have.

Oh, no. I'm fascinated by paleontology.

Oh, no. Short, crazy guy recognizes me. Worst mistake of my life.

Oh, no. Was I cleaning in my sleep again?

Oh, no. Were you upset? Did you lose sleep?

Oh, no. Why not?

Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.

Oh, not that kind of fun.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh.

Oh, okay, big brother. Um...

Oh, okay, how about this one?

Oh, okay, I see what you're doing there.

Oh, okay. Can I ask you a question?

Oh, okay. I didn't mean to put pressure on you..

Oh, Pheebs, that's so sweet. Oh, those are so cute!

Oh, please.

Oh, Rach, I was just messing around. Heh.

Oh, Rachel. This is all so "Papa Don't Preach."

Oh, really? So 33 and single? Would you say you have commitment issues?

Oh, really? That'd be great. Hey, you guys can be the contestants.

Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.

Oh, right!

Oh, right. That's when they had that big rodeo at Plymouth Rock.

Oh, Ross, I can't make lunch.

Oh, Ross, thank you. Thank you.

Oh, Ross, thank you. Thank you.

Oh, Ross! Here comes another contraction.

Oh, Ross! Here comes another contraction.

Oh, Ross.

Oh, Ross.

Oh, she's perfect.

Oh, shoot! Oh, shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape.

Oh, shoot. I left my guitar in their apartment. You can let me in later, right?

Oh, stop. Tell us. We're not gonna want it.

Oh, sweet Lord.

Oh, sweetie, you could never embarrass me.

Oh, sweetie, you're gonna be fine.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thanks for coming out of me.

Oh, thanks. Although it seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.

Oh, that was a big one.

Oh, that's five, Ross. Five women have had five babies..

Oh, that's not pretty.

Oh, that's right. Are you gonna be okay?

Oh, that's so sweet of you. Oh, yum.

Oh, that's very.. Really, very, very okay.

Oh, that's why Alexandra wears earplugs when she gives me a massage.

Oh, the dilating!

Oh, then you're in luck. Ben's not my son.

Oh, there we go!

Oh, there you are, Ben.

Oh, this day is gonna be much better than I thought it was gonna be. Heh.

Oh, this is such a good party. How late does it go till?

Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis.

Oh, uh huh, uh huh, coffee, a little rub rub rub under the table?

Oh, uh, does anyone know where the Freeman Building is?

Oh, uh, it didn't work out.

Oh, uh, okay. Yeah.

Oh, uh, yeah. Is this a cold pizza or a leftover meat loaf talk?

Oh, um, I actually came here to ask you out.

Oh, um...

Oh, wait a minute, I know.

Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, wait a minute. Those aren't stars.

Oh, wait a second, you guys?

Oh, wait, Dr. Long. Can I ask you something?

Oh, wait, I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this:

Oh, well, I hope by "maid," you mean "mistress"...

Oh, well, um, I make it myself.

Oh, well.

Oh, were you looking for that?

Oh, what I do is, I look a woman up and down and I say:

Oh, what the hell? B plus.

Oh, what, are you kidding? She's gorgeous! It's all Rachel.

Oh, whoa! I'm sorry. Semi private? We asked for a private room.

Oh, wow! Oh, she's so tiny.

Oh, wow! Okay, that was fun.

Oh, wow! Really? Oh, my God!

Oh, wow. Three hours and still no baby.

Oh, yeah, I can't believe you haven't seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?

Oh, yeah, that's just a little something for my huge gay fan base.

Oh, yeah, the second game. More football for the Pheebster.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah! That's me.

Oh, yeah! The Evander Holyfield phase.

Oh, yeah! Urine cuts right through an ice sculpture, doesn't it?

Oh, yeah? Come and get it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Hopefully across the street. If certain Dutch people would just let go.

Oh, yeah. Probably at the end.

Oh, yeah. That would work, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, please. You guys have fun.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, the lobster.

Oh, yeah. You Really, you look great.

Oh, yeah. You Really, you look great.

Oh, yes, I do.

Oh, you did? He did it, he did it!

Oh, you do know your audience.

Oh, you only think it's stupid because you suck at it.

Oh, you want a little cousin?

Oh, you're kidding. It's a joke

Oh, you're right.

Oh, you're serious. Sure.

Oh!

Oh! Me too!

Oh! Okay, I see a circle.

Oh? Oh. Aw.

Oh? Really? That's what my daughter means to you, nothing?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Actually, I'm not gonna use a nanny. And, uh, I don't even have a housekeeper.

Oh. Good enough.

Oh. Heh.

Oh. Hey, who is that guy? I think I know him.

Oh. How big is that?

Oh. I brought back your iron.

Oh. I think that's the first time I've ever missed a meal.

Oh. I'll get it.

Oh. Is she pregnant yet?

Oh. Oh, my God. Okay, I know this. Give me a second.

Oh. Something smells good over at Monica's station.

Oh. Sure, yeah. Why not?

Oh. Well, then shut me up.

Oh. What's going on? Is it Mom?

Oh. Wow, you didn't even try to unhook my bra.

Oh. Wow.

Oh. Wow. Uh, yeah, that sounds great.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh...

Ohh, you are so cute. I wish I could play with you more, but I've gotta go to work.

Ohh!

Okay, 10 blocks down, five to go.

Okay, Bob. Listen.

Okay, Bobby, come over here and let them have a little moment, okay?

Okay, but I get to hop on after her.

Okay, Cliff.

Okay, come on, one more push. One more push.

Okay, come on, Rach. It's present time.

Okay, come on. Come on. All right. Okay. Okay.

Okay, don't listen to him. Please?

Okay, enough. This is not going to happen.

Okay, even this is turning me on. You guys, I got problems.

Okay, fine.

Okay, great. Now that you all know, you can give me advice on how to tell Ross.

Okay, guys. One match, winner take all.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, here, have one of these peppers.

Okay, here's the extras: Handcuffs, spanking...

Okay, here's what it is. Heh.

Okay, how about Sunday?

Okay, how long was I watching that woman?

Okay, I am not a pervert.

Okay, I got that.

Okay, I got the pillow. I got the bag.

Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.

Okay, I promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person.

Okay, I see. Could we please talk to the manager?

Okay, I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just give me my boots.

Okay, I will.

Okay, I would be willing to go to the concert...

Okay, I'll go with you. I'll go.

Okay, I'll never wear them again. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.

Okay, I'll talk to him.

Okay, I'm gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Okay, I'm just gonna write this out to "cash

Okay, I'm next.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop.

Okay, I'm Spud nik.

Okay, I've got one for you. If you had to, which would you eat?

Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be?

Okay, if you say so.

Okay, is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?

Okay, it's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie.

Okay, it's time for the toast.

Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it.

Okay, just breathe.

Okay, look. I gotta go too.

Okay, look. You guys know Rachel and I slept together, but there's something else.

Okay, mister! Fertilize me!

Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.

Okay, Mr. Percocet.

Okay, now all we gotta do is get rid of this chair.

Okay, okay, fine! Now you know. I'm sick.

Okay, okay, it's James Brolin.

Okay, okay. I can do this. I can tell her how I feel.

Okay, okay. Making me sterile, but okay.

Okay, okay. Yeah, I don't think I wanna do that.

Okay, okay. You know what?

Okay, quick, name three players on that team.

Okay, Ross has the cameras. Is he checked out yet?

Okay, see you tomorrow.

Okay, she's kicking.

Okay, so I'm writing you a check for..

Okay, so just tell her you don't wanna send out the card. What's she gonna do?

Okay, so that's another $500. That's 500 and 500. That's..

Okay, so the specials are..

Okay, so this isn't the picture of our first kiss...

Okay, so we'll just come up with a signal. If it's going well, you can take off.

Okay, stand up straight.

Okay, stop it. I can't deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.

Okay, stop. Stop. You're right, it's not that big a deal. I'll do the card.

Okay, thank you.

Okay, that's it. I give up.

Okay, the week after that?

Okay, then, back off, mister!

Okay, then. I don't stink. I'm a good chef! Okay.

Okay, then. I'll call you.

Okay, then. Would you like to lie down on the table?

Okay, this is it. This is my big fight scene coming up.

Okay, this is really embarrassing, but lately, with this whole pregnancy thing..

Okay, um, I can be at your apartment in two hours.

Okay, wait. Maybe...

Okay, we're in.

Okay, well I gotta go, you guys. I'll see you later.

Okay, well then, you don't judge me.

Okay, well this is all of the stuff that doesn't fit into any category.

Okay, what else? Rent.

Okay, whenever you're ready.

Okay, why don't we all, uh...

Okay, why don't you, uh, open the champagne, and I will be right back.

Okay, why don't, uh, you all start to read, while I...

Okay, yes, Ross and I used to date.

Okay, you could easily embarrass me. But it doesn't matter, all right?

Okay, you gotta say something.

Okay, you guys, that ceremony was so beautiful.

Okay, you know what? I have to say, I don't really care for your tone.

Okay, you know what? Opening the presents is a little overwhelming right now.

Okay! Sorry about the wait, but it is mega jammed in here.

Okay? Do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?

Okay? Don't be sorry.

Okay? I promise I won't let that happen.

Okay? We'll take care of it. We'll call her. You go home and get ready.

Okay? What if I was the president?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. A couple months late on the lecture, Ross.

Okay. Ahem.

Okay. All right, Dina.

Okay. All right, stand up.

Okay. All right, stop it. You're freaking me out.

Okay. Because for a minute you seemed...

Okay. But I still think we should have this conversation.

Okay. But who's gonna go first? Whoever goes second is the bitch.

Okay. But who's gonna go first? Whoever goes second is the bitch.

Okay. Everything looks good. Here it is on the screen.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay. Here you go.

Okay. Hi, this is Rachel Greene. I'm Ross Geller. We called from the car.

Okay. How about when you're not working?

Okay. I can do that. Heh.

Okay. I guess you can close the door now.

Okay. I'm gonna need a bunch of extra keys.

Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, wait. Do we have a condom?

Okay. I've been thinking about it too, and I think we're ready.

Okay. If, uh If you're gonna do this...

Okay. It's Emma.

Okay. Just give us a second. Ross?

Okay. My God, we gotta go back and get them!

Okay. No need to panic. Deep breaths, everyone.

Okay. No problem

Okay. Oh, too late! I'm leaving. Come on, Chandler, let's go.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I.. Okay.

Okay. Phoebe, that's it. Out of the chair. Come on. Out of the chair.

Okay. See, Mom, the truth is, I can do this on my own.

Okay. So you, me and London.

Okay. That's good.

Okay. The night after that then.

Okay. This is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.

Okay. Uh, I'm gonna get the clothes from the laundry room now...

Okay. Uh, sit down. Um...

Okay. Well, be careful with her, she's really tiny.

Okay. Well, then bring her in.

Okay. What do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia? Triska...

Okay. When he said, "I can't wait to hear your first words"...

Okay. Wow, so I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date.

Okay. Yeah, not a prayer chain.

Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time.

Okay. You stop.

Old lady.

On a barbecued chicken pizza?

On behalf of my new bride, Rachel..

On my hand and made it walk across the table.

On my way over, I pictured you in my mind's eye.

On the other hand, in seven months you're gonna have something..

Once in a while, I just yell stuff at the TV.

One girl wanted to be like you so much, she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll.

One more push. Come on, we're almost there.

One time I saw this guy from behind, and he seemed totally normal.

One, two, three. Go!

Only we'll know the monkeys.

Ooh wee! Ha, ha.

Ooh, dude, that's not gonna happen.

Ooh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, I know what this is.

Ooh, my. Look at that. Only three weeks to go.

Ooh, my. Look at that. Only three weeks to go.

Ooh, wow. What's this?

Ooh, yeah. So you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Ooh. Great, thanks.

Ooh. These tennis shoes are so tight.

Or "I got so hammered last night I'm still a little drunk"?

Or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader.

Or as I like to call it: "Sob fest 2002."

Or call an ambulance!

Or dancing. Oh, take her dancing!

Or Friday with no two pizzas.

Or go downtown and listen to some jazz.

Or he does.

Or how Ross would feel if he couldn't teach us about dragons.

Or Jenga.

Or just hang out with your wife, or girlfriend?

Or Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No! Slutty Leatherface.

Or light a fire up in there and just smoke it out!

Or maybe we'll do it in the bathroom of the club!

Or over here. You wouldn't even notice it.

Or play with, or simply let hang

Or poison? No? Just for me? Okay.

Or Rachel's giving birth..

Or the raw sexual magnetism

Or this one!

Or turn them out altogether.

Or via e mail.

Or we could put it right here. Aw! Cute, right?

Or you could do volunteer work.

Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were 15.

Or you'll make a scientific discovery!

Or your assistant will see them and want a raise.

Or, something to remember me by.

Or, yes, stranger, we'd like this delivered, please.

Ordinarily, I would love to, but I am just swamped right now.

Other than Days of Our Lives, what's your favorite soap opera?

Our child will be beaten in the schoolyard.

Our friend's having a baby.

Our friends are less open minded.

Our specials tonight..

Over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ow! Oh, God, it hurts!

Ow.

Oysters! Let me feed you. That's not necessary.

People ask why we're not together. I just don't know what to tell them.

People came to see a fight, let's give them one!

People have got to finish their stories

People who have been dating for a couple of months don't send out cards.

Perhaps when they get out.

Pheebs, you didn't have to get us anything for our...

Phoebe lived on the street, okay? Plus, she's got a crazy temper.

Phoebe, come here. I wanna show you something in the bathroom.

Phoebe, come on, you have to tell us.

Phoebe, don't get upset.

Phoebe, I can explain.

Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe.

Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too. It doesn't bother you?

PHOEBE: All right, everybody. It's time to open the presents.

PHOEBE: Aw.

PHOEBE: Hee hee! Hey, a dog! Oh, hi!

PHOEBE: Yeah, bye.

PHOEBE: You guys? Um, just a minute!

Phoebe!

Phoebe!

Phoebe?

Phoebe? Good work.

Phoebe.

Phoebe. Phoebe. Phoebe.

Phoebe. Will you check out that guy by the window. Wow!

Pick whoever you want. Listen to your heart. What does it tell you?

Pickle? Pickle makes her sick.

Please don't be sorry.

Please don't take her from me.

Please help me. I have a date tonight.

Please make sure she comes. It's really important to me. It's my mom.

Please promise me that you'll never leave me..

Please, come in. Have a seat.

Please, come on. We do not have any big stuff we need.

Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations, Rachel."

Please, I feel so bad. Just watch the hot woman get naked.

Please, please, can you come? It's today at 4.

Please, Rachel, I really want you to stay.

Please, show of hands.

Please, you inhale your food.

Please, you inhale your food.

Please? She's watching.

Please. He'll be with his real family. The twins and little Miss New Boobs.

Please. Please, I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.

Plus, eating them is like a tradition.

Plus, it'd be better for my ego if we didn't stand next to each other.

Plus, she, uh... She got me taffy.

Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while you trot out to the garbage?

Poo?

Poo?

Poo?

Pretty amazing, huh?

Previously:

Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night.

Probably.

Professor Newman, the head of the department, is retiring, so...

Pull my finger. My hand is messed up!

Punch me here, as hard as you can!

Push. Push. We're gonna push for five more seconds.

Rach, hey, it's fine. You're at Joey's.

Rach, I can't tell you how much that means to me. Oh...

Rach, look at me. Everything's fine. Trust me. Take my hand. Here we go.

Rach, that's great. That's great.

Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see?

Rachel Green, let's play Bamboozled.

Rachel Greene.

Rachel has something that she wants to tell you.

Rachel Karen Green, tell me there's gonna be a wedding.

Rachel stuff.

Rachel who's carrying my baby Rachel?

Rachel won't talk to me. She won't open the door.

Rachel, I was talking to this guy. I think he'll have sex with you.

Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.

Rachel, look how you glow! May I?

Rachel, you have life growing inside you.

Rachel, you must get a nanny.

RACHEL: Happy Valentine's Day! You too!

RACHEL: Hi. Hey.

RACHEL: Hmm. Maybe it starts with how she gets pregnant.

RACHEL: Mm hm. It's here.

RACHEL: Well...

RACHEL: You're gonna have a baby and you need to be prepared.

Rachel? Why don't you sit here? And Will, you sit way over there.

Rachel?!

Rachel?!

Rachel?!

Rachel.

Rachel's got this big work problem. It is a head scratcher.

Rachel's having her baby!

Rachel's pregnant.

Rachel's told me how much easier you've made this on her.

Rachel's. But good to know where you're at.

Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain.

Ralph Lauren is going out of their way..

Ramoray. It's Portuguese. We need that information. I'm a doctor.

Really good. I should be ready to kill myself any day now.

Really makes me want to have sex with you.

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really? How come we didn't cross paths?

Really? I've been dealing with Dr. Wells.

Really? Joey? You don't say.

Really? Me?

Really? Oh, my God. I'm successful.

Really? Remember Twinkles?

Really? That is so cool.

Really? That's the thing I'm worst at!

Really? What if I told you Ross or Chandler could beat you up?

Really? Why not?

Really? You think you're stronger? Why don't you prove it?

Regina Phalange.

Relax, it's not like it's Citizen Kane.

Relax, man. You're looking a little flushed.

Relax. It's not like we're forking.

Relax. Why are you so serious? It doesn't matter.

Remember she's dead, okay? Her and Nana, gone.

Remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?

Remember the guy that gave me a bad review? Well...

Remember the night they got engaged? How you and I almost..

Remember what happened the last time I did an interview?

Remember what happened the last time I did an interview?

Remember, it is just the story.

Remember? You and me used to be inseparable.

Richard, if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card?

Right after you left, they wheeled her off into delivery.

Right now, he needs to know that you're still his friend.

Right now? I kind of got an alfresco situation going on over here.

Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.

Right there. Let me ask you, why?

Right?

Right.

Right. And with who again?

Right. Are you looking for Jack's parents to discuss...

Right. Hey, that's..

Right. We have a semi private labor room waiting for you, so..

Right. Wow.

ROSS & CHANDLER: Oh, come on.

Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Heh.

Ross can get me the tickets!

Ross can!

Ross didn't care enough to be here, so he's out.

Ross, a child should have a family.

Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?

Ross, get in here!

Ross, I am so sorry.

Ross, I lost it again.

Ross, I want to talk to you as your mother..

Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am..

Ross, it's got your wavy, black lines.

Ross, maybe you need a new picture.

Ross, Ross. Mona?

Ross, thank God you're here. You have to help me.

Ross, the baby's kicking.

Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? You can be as involved as you want.

Ross, we actually watched the documentary together.

Ross, we have to be strong.

Ross, we've tried all the spicy food. It's not working.

Ross, what's going on? You're changing the lock?

Ross, you asked me that.

Ross, you stay here and talk. I'm gonna go have a baby.

ROSS: Hello?

ROSS: Move it. Move it. Move it!

ROSS: Oh. Oh, no, sweetheart, you stay put.

ROSS: Okay, here I come. All right.

ROSS: Yeah. CHANDLER: No.

Ross?

Ross? Can I ask you something?

Ross? Hey, it's Mona. From the wedding.

Ross? Why don't you give us your toast now?

Ross. If it helps, I don't believe you.

Say, are you okay? You seem kind of quiet.

Say, who the hell is this Chandler?

Say, would you mind checking again?

Score!

Second's up!

See if any private rooms may have opened up?

See, before, when you showed it to me, you held it that way..

See, I don't want it.

See, my boss and his wife, they can't have children, so..

See?

See? Every cloud has a supple leather lining.

See? I'm getting a lot of use out of them already.

See? It works. I'm not angry at all anymore.

See? It's because you were looking, you fat pervert.

Sending out a holiday card together?

Seriously, guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.

Seriously, look at this thing, Chandler. How do you say that?

Seriously, she's like the perfect woman. I mean, I know she turned me down..

Seriously, what is she doing?

Seriously, what?

Seriously, who is this guy?

Seriously. Breathe louder, Ross. That's great.

Seven, eight..

Sex on the balcony?

Sh...

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

She can't hear you.

She didn't say anything to you?

She doesn't need to be. She'll still have the baby before I do.

She even got the baby a tiny T shirt that says, "Fossils are my friends."

She gave birth to her brother's triplets.

She got a new haircut. You'll hate it.

She had Braxton Hicks contractions. Mild discomfort in the uterine wall.

She has the drugs.

She in there?

She is lying. And I bet I could prove it. Excuse me.

She looks so real.

She must have been planning this for years.

She must have left.

She needed some help with her word jumble.

She probably wasn't familiar with the process..

She pulled me out of the labor room to ask me why I'm not with Rachel.

She really must love me!

She said she's gonna raise it on her own.

She took them.

She walked in, I thought she was you and I kissed her and...

She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.

She wants to talk to someone successful to give her some advice.

She was horrible to me in high school.

She was married to a gay ice dancer.

She was pretty nice about it.

She was there and now she's totally freaked out.

She was with this other guy for a long time.

She was with this other guy. For a long time.

She's a hooker! She's a hooker! She's a...!

She's a week late. She's got to have it today.

She's been away all week visiting parents, but she'll be cool.

She's been so supportive.

She's clearly an Emma.

She's growing inside you.

She's helped so many people quit.

She's in a more difficult position, so you have to push harder now.

She's in labor. You like that, you sick son of a bitch?

She's like a conversational wizard! How did it go?

She's like this conversational wizard.

She's looking at me. Hi. I know you.

She's my friend and she needed help.

She's my pregnant friend who's Ross' ex!

She's not a Tribbiani?

She's not pregnant. It's Rachel. Rachel's the one who's pregnant, okay.

She's not right behind me, is she?

She's right. Of course not.

She's such a scatterbrain. But, man, what a hot piece of ass.

She's talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!

She's this whole tiny little person.

She's upside down, but she's coming!

She's your ex. And I have Richard.

Shh, shh. Okay, here I come. Here I come. See, I'm coming to fix the copier.

Shh!

Shh!

Should have never walked into that Sunglass Hut!

Should I leave this open for you too?

Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to hers?

Shut up!

Sid, you lucky, deaf bastard.

Sid!

Since I have been waiting, four women..

Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.

Six months, Rachel. Six months.

Six months? That's rough.

Sixty, 80, 100

Smaller than that.

Smile, ladies!

Smile, ladies!

Smokin' body, though.

Sneaky.

So according to your bio, you've done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives.

So anyway..

So apparently I'm available for lunch.

So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?

So are you just never gonna tell her?

So are you ready to talk about it?

So as Joey's friends...

So bad! But I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't ask you to do anything!

So between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross...

So close.

So come on. Explain yourself, Geller.

So did you happen to catch my toast up there?

So did you hear something you liked?

So do they call you to tell you your name's gonna be in this?

So does Joey know you're moving?

So don't think of it as a bachelor party.

So he calls me Toby once in a while.

So how are the new people?

So how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?

So how long are you in town?

So how was your day?

So how's the inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?

So I brought you something I think you'll really enjoy.

So I can access the really good Internet porn?

So I can't fire him?

So I don't have to help out.

So I guess it may just count as half a present. What do you think?

So I guess this is it.

So I guess we're back to Baby Girl.

So I just watch them have sex. And then I say Wait, here's my line:

So I think I'm gonna take off.

So I think, um, I'm just gonna maybe open them all a little bit later.

So I, uh... I called the doctor.

So I'm gonna dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on

So I'm gonna grab my coat.

So I'm in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle...

So if you have any questions, or you need anything at all, just holler

So if you've got this all under control, I'm just gonna..

So in medical terms, I was thrice as randy.

So is everybody here? I got here a little early, myself.

So is that better?

So it might be the beginning of something.

So it seems like you have a lot of friends.

So it was cool seeing you lecture today.

So just the ones you gave back to us and we had framed?

So let's get the camera rolling.

So let's talk a little bit about your duties.

So let's talk about women.

So long as I understand the money should not be construed..

So long!

So much fun. The best part is, we met this great couple.

So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?

So Rachel's all moved out? How you taking it?

So Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.

So Ross is kind of bummed, huh?

So seriously, do I look okay? I'm nervous.

So she stole your pants...

So she's really not dead.

So shouldn't we give her the benefit of the doubt before we go...

So somehow I have to pick between you three and Ross.

So sorry. "This just in."

So Sputnik becomes..?

So tell me, what are Joey Tribbiani's end of the night moves?

So that's it? I only get to bring one guest?

So that's it. I guess that's all I need.

So the divorce, the marriage, we got a lot to celebrate.

So then he took me to these strip clubs and sleazy bars.

So then I guess Ferdinand is out.

So this guy she used to go out with, is he a good guy?

So this is it, Victor?

So to sum it up, yeah.

So to sum up...

So tonight's the night of the big bachelor party?

So we both wanted to.

So we do, Supergirl.

So we never got to hear about your wedding.

So we would have something to talk about!

So we're gonna try? I mean, we're trying?

So whenever you're ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day.

So where are...? What the mother of crap is up with this stuff?

So where is it going?

So where'd you grow up?

So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler?

So who knows what I might say this time?

So who knows what I might say this time?

So why don't you go to your place and give us some privacy?

So would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife?

So you all just joined together to hate me?

So you and I should talk about Jack and Ben now.

So you and Mona. It's been a while now. How's it going?

So you can keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up.

So you don't want to live with Don in a cheese house?

So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal, right?

So you guys go, have a really good time.

So you had a good day, huh? Big commission, picked up a daddy.

So you had the conversation you didn't wanna have..

So you have a big work problem?

So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her. Dude.

So you see, I'm not messy.

So you tell your great great granddaughter to look me up.

So you were saying?

So you'd get together and say mean things about me?

So you're more than just dinosaurs.

So you're never actually going to pay me back?

So your dad dropped by.

So, how's it going?

So, nice place you got here.

So, people are familiar with the Europe story?

So, Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?

So, Ross, we went out for two years..

So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is, uh...? What is new with you?

So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is, uh...? What is new with you?

So, uh, now back to the show.

So, uh, this guy she used to go out with, is he still in love with her?

So, uh... So is she someone from work?

So, um, I was talking to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place?

So, um, you're gonna stay with me as long as I need you?

So, until I do, I don't think I should tell anybody else.

So, what do I do?

So, what do you think?

So, what do you think?

So, what table are you at?

So, what'd you tell him?

So, what's new with you?

So, what's the final head count on my baby shower?

So, what's this about?

So, which of these babies is the ugliest?

So, you, uh, nervous about getting married?

So. You guys are all sleep deprived.

So..

Soaps, shampoos. Are you really taking all this stuff?

Some cheese?

Some days we work really hard.

Some guy!

Some idiot on a cell phone wasn't paying attention?

Somebody likes you!

Somebody stop me.

Someday Ross is gonna meet somebody..

Someone does. Me.

Someone from work too.

Someone just take this away from me!

Something called Braxton Hicks contraction.

Something that says we're moving forward without having to talk about it.

Sometimes I can't believe it's with you, but still, we're having a girl!

Sometimes I think maybe she could.

Sometimes you can do everything right. Everyone wears what they're supposed to..

Sometimes, you have to bang on the end of it to get it to come out.

Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun..

Sorry I'm a little late. Uh...

Sorry, do you have a problem with me?

Sorry, I almost didn't hear you because I'm so in love with my new husband.

Sorry, Mom.

Sorry, we didn't hear you. We're on our honeymoon.

Sorry? I finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. I just saw Ursula.

Sorry. You're just so incredibly beautiful.

Sort of like a ring toss kind of situation?

Soul mate.

Sounds about right.

SP0on?

Speaking of hot, watching you do that..

Speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?

Speedo? Uh, I don't have a Speedo.

Spud nik!

Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby's ears.

Stating the obvious, but thank you.

Stay calm? How do you expect me to stay calm?

Still?

Sting's pen. That he gave to Phoebe.

Stop staring! There's nothing there! It's not true!

Stop! No one's gonna fight.

Stupid closet full of bugs!

Stupid guy on my phone.

Such a rookie mistake.

Supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world

Sure you can. Give them some blocks. Put them in a playpen.

Sure, I can hang out till I have to meet you.

Sure, women never like Joey. I think he's a virgin.

Sure, yeah, he's kind of sexy.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. I mean, it's Joey. I don't want him to get hurt.

Sure. Just tell me where to meet you.

Sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married?

Sure. One year is paper, but two months is lap dance.

Sure. Set it up.

Sweetheart, I know you're gonna be a terrific mom.

Sweetie, I know that you don't like my office parties.

Sweetie, it's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I'm fine.

Sweetie, maybe you'd be more comfortable here.

Sweetie, that's it.

Tag is not the father. And Joey knows now?

Take a couple deep breaths.

Tea gives Phoebe the trots!

Tell him I miss him.

Tell it to me.

Tell me about it. I feel like I'm holding down the fort by myself.

Tell me you're not gonna dress like a dinosaur.

Ten centimeters. You're about to become a mom.

Terrified.

Thank God for adult acne!

Thank God you're here. Help me. Were you talking to yourself?

Thank you for that. I can't deal with the stress quite yet.

Thank you so much for coming back over.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. I know I can be better.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. I think we're ready to..

Thank you, doctor. And thank you for being nice and calm.

Thank you, Monica. That was interesting.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. If everyone will please take your seats, dinner will be served.

Thank you. Listen

Thank you. Now, who else do you wanna invite?

Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest...

Thanks for bringing her to the hospital.

Thanks for going along with this.

Thanks for meeting me. Joey's told me so much about you.

Thanks for talking to me yesterday. It meant a lot.

Thanks for the coffee, or, uh, ahem:

Thanks so much, Pheebs.

Thanks, I'm good.

Thanks, sweetie.

Thanks, that means a lot to me.

Thanks. Like I said before, I pretty much just stayed in the lines..

Thanks. Maybe later.

Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie.

That can't be right.

That creep goes there. I had to find a new one.

That depends, how much did you hear?

That deserves another candy.

That dialect coach who helped you with a Southern accent.

That gives you a couple of hours to prepare.

That guy back there? He's awfully short. And I think he's talking to himself.

That guy is.

That guy won't be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.

That I give to everyone who's getting married.

That I hadn't had sex in months?

That I understand that it's your baby..

That I'm gonna have the baby, and he can be as involved as he wants.

That is funny. Maybe for my birthday she'll murder someone.

That is one lucky to go cup of coffee.

That is so sweet.

That is so true.

That is so you!

That is the Coast Guard.

That is.. That's great. That is really great, great news.

That kiss before we left the apartment. That was something, huh?

That means a lot to me, man.

That means nothing to me. Come on!

That picture of Chi Chi with her mischievous grin.

That puts me in a difficult position.

That really sucks. Especially on Valentine's Day.

That sounds good. We should sit and talk.

That sounds great.

That sounds simple enough. Let's just do that.

That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture!

That was a fun surprise!

That was a test. Good response.

That was such a fun night.

That was the best part? Good honeymooning, tiger.

That was the real Chandler Bing. This is some crazy guy in the hall.

That was weird.

That was, like, the biggest one yet. Are you okay, honey?

That way for the first few moments of her life, she'll think we're really fancy.

That we'll grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.

That you can have.

That you're gonna love more than any guy you've ever gone out with.

That'd be breaking the rules.

That's a different issue.

That's a good one, Bing

That's a great story. Tell it while you're getting me some iced tea.

That's a little misleading.

That's a really pretty name for an industrial solvent.

That's actually how the French drink it.

That's all right, sir. And that's just one girl.

That's all right. I have it memorized. It's 1A.

That's all right. I'm coming back later with your father.

That's all. Just a little crush.

That's always appropriate.

That's because he wasn't invited.

That's because you have never been on a date with me before.

That's better. Ninety seconds is a long time not to think about it.

That's better. Now, just bend your arms a little bit. Now look straight ahead.

That's correct.

That's different. We were roommates. And when?

That's fair. Thank you so much.

That's fine. For now we'll just call her Baby Girl Greene.

That's fine. That's fair.

That's for canned goods. Have you forgotten everything from orientation?

That's four, one higher than the number of centimeters I'm dilated..

That's funny, yeah.

That's funny. Does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?

That's great!

That's her. Okay, come on.

That's him! You know him?

That's how I imagined I would ask you to marry me.

That's interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?

That's it for today.

That's it, just relax.

That's it! That's it, right there!

That's it? Even if nobody helps me, I can eat that. No problem.

That's it? Well, I saw that.

That's it? You call that a fight? Come on.

That's it.

That's it. I don't care when the baby comes. No more betting.

That's just because I'm such a good messer!

That's kind of nice.

That's less embarrassing. Yes. Yes, I was.

That's me! I'm blank! Hey.

That's me.

That's my car!

That's my favorite shirt. I love it.

That's my old dog. He passed away years ago.

That's no big deal. Most women don't feel them.

That's no way to sell newspapers. Try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

That's not bad.

That's not enough.. What are you doing?

That's not her name.

That's not interesting.

That's not someone I would be attracted to.

That's not totally true.

That's not what she wants.

That's not your choice. Happy Halloween!

That's okay. That's fine.

That's one of the reasons why we are not a couple.

That's pretty dumb, huh?

That's pretty.

That's really just to show where the baby would go.

That's right, he was hitting on her.

That's right, I stepped up.

That's right, you just enjoy.

That's right.

That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani! This is what we do.

That's right. Chandler does still think I'm pregnant

That's right. I love you.

That's right. Still no baby.

That's right. That is right.

That's right. The student has become the master.

That's right. Well, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?

That's so sweet.

That's some pretty smelly work, huh, Don?

That's the first time I heard her voice.

That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex!

That's the real question.

That's the strength I want in a man.

That's true. I'm a poppy.

That's what they'll call us.

That's when you'll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.

That's where we had our first date.

That's why you have kids.

That's your move?

That's, like, the pervert motto.

Thattagirll Eh? We should get out of here, there's a new class coming in.

The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.

The audition's in a couple hours, and I don't even understand the game.

The baby's buttocks. She's breech.

The baby's head isn't getting any smaller.

The best.

The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs, both bar and bat!

The delivery went out and I realized they forgot this.

The doctor said it's normal, with all the hormones, plus you're sleep deprived.

The doctor will be here soon to do your sonogram.

The doctor will be in soon. Why don't we not speak until then?

The doctor's appointments, Lamaze classes, baby proofing the apartment.

The doctor's staying open late for us, but if you hurry..

The eyes did still sparkle.

The famous botanist.

The father is not here. I haven't told him, and I don't think I can now.

The father's name is also Cookie.

The first A I've gotten since 7th grade and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher.

The first time, we were just passing each other, so I didn't say anything.

The front page?

The greatest couple in the world, and my best friends.

The guy is really cute!

The guy left this.

The lights came down, I got on one knee..

The Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?

The miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest.

The next contraction should be in about 20 seconds.

The next time he said, "Toby, want a doughnut?"

The nurse said they're bringing in another woman.

The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party...

The only sad thing is, I wasn't around when it happened the first time.

The only thing left would be radio. But that's just for ugly people.

The personal thing?

The Plaza?

The point is, I think everything's gonna be okay.

The reason I came over is to settle things between us. You've done a lot for me.

The red one.

The sheer volume. It was like flying with the Riddler.

The sky's blue, Ross. And I had sex yesterday.

The soles are scuffed up, and the insides are filled with my blood.

The sound of a bird and the color of the sky.

The thing is..

The thing that made me sure I could do it was the example you two set.

The triplets.

The truth is, she couldn't find a better guy.

The universe said I'd meet a nice guy. I got that?

The universe wants us to be together.

The water's tepid, the salt didn't dissolve and is now lodged places.

The way I'm dressed, or being with you today?

The wedding. There's going to be a wedding.

The week after that?

The Wheel has not been my friend tonight, Joey. Uh...

Their friend who can speak in many dialects..

Then a little bit more custard.

Then custard, which I made from scratch.

Then Fred Astaire singing, "The Way You Look Tonight" came on..

Then he consoled me after I didn't get parts that I wanted

Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now he's thinking:

Then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me.

Then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.

Then move into his body, just for a second.

Then my feeling weird shouldn't stand in the way.

Then raspberries, more ladyfingers...

Then the waiter came over and cut his tip in half..

Then there was the second set. The infamous "booger" headshots.

Then what are you doing here? Are you about to do it?

Then when I turned around, she was gone.

Then why can't the three of us go out together?

Then why do you throw like one?

Then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?"

Then, bam! He's a father, everything's different.

Then, great.

There are more important things in a marriage than love.

There he is, the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village.

There I am. There I am. There I am.

There I go again, my catch phrase.

There is no Anderson.

There is no manager.

There is one thing we didn't try.

There it is, I see it.

There it is.

There was a line for the buffet, and when I got to the plates..

There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions!

There we go.

There you go.

There you go.

There you go. Crushes happen all the time.

There you go. Ugh, you're so lucky. You might meet Sting tomorrow.

There's a band. There's gonna be plenty of dressed up people.

There's a picture of her in the yearbook actually.

There's a possible Backwards Bonus.

There's a powerful Ukrainian film playing. Interested?

There's gonna be a brand new little baby. Your baby.

There's my little girl.

There's no point in spending time with someone if it's just fun.

There's no right answer.

There's no such thing as a "Top Secret School for the Children of Spies."

There's not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married.

There's nothing sexual about this?

There's nothing wrong with him.

There's one person out there for everyone.

There's only a problem...

There's this woman that I like a lot.

There's this woman that I like a lot.

There's your uterus...

These are just feelings. They'll go away.

They all say they're gonna be there, until they start their real family.

They always seem to want a little bit more.

They bumped them up to first class because they're on their honeymoon.

They don't have a marriage license, they don't have witnesses...

They get crazy during the summer too.

They got weird feelings and it was always nothing.

They keep throwing sexual harassment cases at me..

They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.

They live here in the city.

They only give you three letters, so after A S S, it is a challenge.

They said even though they lost their sight, it was worth it.

They said, "Start your maternity leave now. Just rest."

They should change the name of it to "Ms. Chandler."

They wanted to do a profile on me. I said no.

They were just brake lights, Parker!

They were just giving those away at the store.

They'd have me to thank. Then we could all start having babies!

They're all greedy, hopped up on sugar.

They're babies. They're all beautiful.

They're calling out to me.

They're cool. It was their honeymoon too.

They're having their baby. It's not fair, Ross. I got here first!

They're killing me, one toe at a time.

They're not, Ross. They're just saving them for important people!

They're so happy I'm not suing, I got an extra month paid maternity leave.

They're starting to effervesce.

They're taking the ferry to a place on Staten Island.

They're very practical. You can wear them with dresses, skirts, pants...

Think of it as a two month anniversary present.

Thirty five years. Impressive. Do you have any pearls of wisdom?

Thirty seconds, okay..

Thirty two, Joe. You're 32!

This conversation, between you and me.

This game is kind of fun.

This is a bad idea. Forget all about it.

This is a great date!

This is a hospital.

This is a much better job. It's vice president of the company...

This is a nice place..

This is a very dramatic hospital.

This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I don't wanna make.

This is an audio question. What do you do when a baby makes this sound:

This is embarrassing. I'm never getting a massage again.

This is exciting. So glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?

This is from your friends at work.

This is fun.

This is gonna be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler.

This is good for me.

This is great wine.

This is great. Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel.

This is Isabella.

This is it!

This is my husband, Chandler. This is Will.

This is my husband, Sid. I don't think you've met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid.

This is so just the way that this was supposed to be.

This is so much better than I ever..

This is so unfair.

This is starting to look bad for me, okay? Mona's standing right there.

This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy.

This is the most comfortable couch I've ever sat on.

This is the turkey.

This is the worst bachelor party ever.

This is unacceptable, Rachel. And I wanna know why.

This is where I lean.

This is where they get out stains. This is like Disneyland for me.

This is why I told the manager I wouldn't wait on you tonight.

This is your grandmother's engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.

This is yours.

This isn't fair.

This little guy even crawled up in my lap.

This looks like an all day job. I'll have to cancel my yoga class.

This might be Joey's baby, who knows?

This one is.

This one's rare. This one's medium well. Go!

This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape.

This room. This night.

This sounds like a hernia. You have to Go to the doctor.

This stuff is so way in the past. You've been through so much since then.

This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM chip in it or something!

This time I want you to really put your ass into it.

This time just for us?

This was such a huge mistake. I can't tell him, Phoebe. I can't.

This will be my way of paying you back.

This.

Three down knows I'm married.

Three down. "Days of Our Lives star, blank Tribbiani."

Three women have come and gone with their babies.

Three, two, one! Oh!

Three.

Throw me a bone here.

Tim, I need a calamari and a caesar salad. And could you get me the pesto?

Tim, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Tim, my new sous chef.

To answer your earlier question, we're straight up gangster rap.

To be honest, I still have feelings for you.

To find?

To get out of going to dinner with Doug, I told him you and I split up.

To show they're not in the baby buying business.

To tape the game? You do this every time. You're not gonna be on TV!

To the happy couple.

To the point where we can't be in the same room?

Toby, I'm not gonna let you cover for him.

Today I can't finish a turkey, but tomorrow I eat half a PowerBar..

Together? Like, to people?

Tomorrow night it is. I should be out of court by 6.

Tomorrow, we'll go there...

Tramp?

Trick or treat.

Trick or treat.

True, but you're allowed to be unreasonable. You're having our baby.

Try it for me. I used all my best stuff.

Try.

Twenty one hours. You're a hero.

Two hundred CDs, not one of them in the right case.

Two, three years of rent, utilities, food..

Typical of you. Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in Rachel land.

Ugh, come on, Mona. Don't kiss ass.

Ugh, I can't wait to read the front page tomorrow:

Ugh, it's okay. You calm down after a while...

Ugh, Joey...

Ugh, Monica, grow up.

Ugh, okay, I'll fix that too. What's her e mail address?

Ugh, seriously, how can you watch this? Aren't you scared?

Ugh, there was nothing wrong with her. All right? She was perfectly lovely.

Ugh! You know what? This is too weird.

Ugh. Between the traffic and one way streets, it'd take me twice as long.

Ugh. I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass.

Uh huh. I got the top ten scores. I erased Phoebe off the board. High five!

Uh huh. That's too bad. I wanna go to his concert Friday, but it's sold out.

Uh huh. Um, could I get a copy of that? Carol threw it out. She lost ours.

Uh, actually, sorry, I can't even make it. I'm seeing Mona again tonight.

Uh, all right. Um...

Uh, but I have a number of close friends who are.

Uh, check if it's wet, check if it's hungry, burp it.

Uh, I don't believe in these crazy diets. You know, just everything in moderation.

Uh, I won't take no for an answer.

Uh, I'd like to spin the Wheel.

Uh, I'm free now. You want to grab some coffee ?

Uh, it was fun. We just had coffee.

Uh, it's good. It's going good.

Uh, Joey, didn't your agents give you the revised rules?

Uh, no, just that he is a great guy.

Uh, no, no, no. Just Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.

Uh, nope. No best friend.

Uh, Paul's Cafe. It's got great food and it's really romantic.

Uh, that's an 18th century Indian artifact from Calcutta.

Uh, that's me.

Uh, there's sales, which is great. You get to travel.

Uh, this is just to give you an idea.

Uh, uh, Super Speedy Speed Round.

Uh, we stars usually just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.

Uh, well, if I want the girl to kiss me...

Uh, well, let me start by, uh, introducing myself

Uh, yeah. She and I would talk all the time...

Uh, you know, lately she just likes hanging out here.

Uh...

Uh... Uh... Gas leak. Oh, and bring garlic bread.

Um, and if you want the dirt, I'm the one you come to.

Um, I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.

Um, I know this is last minute, but we've decided to throw an impromptu...

Um, I think I'm gonna stay here.

Um, I was thinking if it's a girl...

Um, I'm sorry. Won't Jack's father be joining us?

Um, it's basically just a simple question and answer game now.

Um, our situation, you know, um, what we mean to each other...

Um, the point is, when the baby comes, I will be there to feed her...

Um...

Um...

Um...

Unbelievable.

Understood. So, what did you say back then?

Unless this lady wouldn't mind letting you go first.

Unless you anticipated that I would figure all this out...

Unless you call turning into her mother "work."

Unless you know we're never gonna have to use it.

Unless... Unless, um...

Until he screamed out "Radisson" at the end.

Until I was 25, I thought the response to "I love you" was "Oh, crap."

Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp.. right there?

Up until now, the worst thing I ever saw...

Upstream.

Ursula said she left her purse.

Ursula!

Ursula's fiance is really sweet.

Use my camera to record yourself and see what you're doing wrong.

Using my wife's tools.

Very nice, people.

Very romantic. Any woman that hears it is putty.

Very secluded. There were tall trees all around

Veto. Sawyer.

Wait a minute! No!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I believe I'm entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn.

Wait a minute. I saw that. On the Discovery Channel.

Wait a minute. If you're in charge of invitations, why am I calling her?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a second!

Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?

Wait a second. Or maybe you could go in first.

Wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger.

Wait, I had one more thing to say. Right. Shut up.

Wait, it's not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original.

Wait, wait. Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper...

Wait, where on West 10th? There's a really cute shoe store

Wait! I bet when you told people you wanted to act, they laughed at you.

Wait! If they don't get along, you should smooth things over.

Wait! Shut.. Don't cry!

Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know that I love you.

Wait. He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in.

Wait. I bet you the baby is over 7 pounds.

Wait. If you want to come, I guess that'd be okay.

Wait. It's me, Phoebe.

Wait. Wanna set the mood a little?

Wait. What does the winner get?

Wait. You know what? I can't look at it. Somebody else tell me.

Wake up, Cliff!

Wake up, Joe!

Wanna feel good about yourself?

Want to watch the rest of the movie with me?

Was it just me?

Was it me, or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute?

Was it?! Was it perfect?! Is it too soon to see the video?!

Was really the "I Love Rachel Club."

Was that a secret, or a lie?

Was that Bob from six you were just talking to?

Was that story over?

Wasn't Joey hitting on her too?

Watch out, honey. Someone else is asking questions now.

Watch your feet. There's bugs everywhere.

We all have our baggage. You must too.

We are gonna have so much fun! Yes we are!

We are gonna share every moment of this with you.

We are moving along just slowly. Don't worry, you're doing great.

We are on our honeymoon.

We are pretty good.

We are so blessed to be able to share in this incredible joy.

We are so.

We can just try it, like on a temporary basis.

We can put screens here so the baby has privacy...

We can't do that. What if they come by for a visit?

We could have done that.

We could not feel worse about it.

We could. Or we could have sex in it.

We could've gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar.

We did not take a bag of Meshugga Nuts from the minibar.

We did. But my mom got us the greatest gift of all.

We didn't have sex.

We didn't play it!

We didn't really end things on good terms.

We do need to find somebody. Work is starting to pile up.

We don't have a changing table. We do not have a crib.

We don't have to lie. We won't talk.

We don't know.

We don't read a lot or run fast, but damn it, we can eat!

We don't really have to go tonight, do we?

We don't really know each other, so it'd be easy to forget about this..

We don't wanna know as long as it's happy and healthy.

We don't wanna see the dirty stuff..

We don't work together. He's on the sixth floor.

We fell in love and work hard at our relationship.

We got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing. They don't like us, do they?

We had wine, we got to talking.

We have plenty of time. There's a baby furniture store on West 10th.

We have red bagels.

We have to get past this.

We have to talk this through.

We just got married. Right there!

We just want to be together.

We know it's gonna work. It's doctor recommended.

We live together. You're having our baby. I'm not gonna see anybody else.

We lived together for years. I've seen you naked.

We may have started our family. In nine months we could be here..

We may not be great thinkers or world leaders..

We need the stuff.

We need to talk.

We said that.. The rumor was that..

We should ask the doctor if she even knows.

We should talk about that, don't you think?

We take the same bus, go to the same bookstore.

We thought maybe you'd know something about it.

We tried them all.

We went for a walk, we tried tea, castor oil, spicy food. Nothing worked.

We were lame. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?

We were, but now we've got candy.

We weren't destined to end up together.

We will do all of those.

We would, but when we went to exhume Jessica's body..

We.. You know, we can't let that happen again, you know?

We'd better get going.

We'll be all right. Even if we're not married, this baby is gonna be so loved.

We'll both do it today and he'll just have to deal with it.

We'll count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.

We'll do a quick check.

We'll do our best. I'm the interviewer and I'm meeting you for the first time.

We'll just have to put the CDs in their right cases.

We'll see you later.

We'll see you then!

We'll think of another way to put the "who came on to who" thing to rest.

We'll try it again. Come back, and we'll work through it.

We're all in here, and we'd love for you to join us!

We're both teachers.

We're excited. We finally have a couple to hang out with.

We're going out again. I'll find out more.

We're gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room.

We're hanging in the kitchen. Let's stay in the kitchen.

We're having a baby

We're having a Halloween party!

We're having fun. You look young.

We're here to celebrate our love for each other. We don't have to get free stuff.

We're just having this baby together, but that's all, you know.

We're just not in that place, you know? But we're very excited about this.

We're not at a barn dance.

We're not gonna get married just because she's pregnant. Okay?

We're not just doing a card. She also wants to have the conversation..

We're off to a good start.

We're on a semi first name basis.

We're on our honeymoon, so can you do your little thing, bump us up to first class?

We're really good.

We're trying to get pregnant.

We've always talked about having babies someday, not now..

We've been alone for the last 20 minutes and we're doing okay.

We've done it before. We'll do it again.

We've eliminated all that. No wheel. No cards.

Wear them with shorts on the corner and earn money to pay for them.

Weirdest thing. Did I hear..?

Welcome to Introduction to Cooking. Before we start...

Well done.

Well I don't know. But how great would that be, huh?

Well if I didn't have sex with you...

Well then could we reschedule for Friday night, perhaps at 8:00?

Well, actually, I took her to the planetarium.

Well, as long as we are clear about that.

Well, at least one person will be crying.

Well, at least you make each other laugh.

Well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow wow, old friend. Bow wow.

Well, can we see it?

Well, certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup.

Well, don't waste it. I mean, it's still food. Jeez.

Well, give it time.

Well, given that we forgot to invite her...

Well, go. Go move it!

Well, half a brownie

Well, he never said that to me.

Well, hey, you should be excited about him.

Well, hey! What's going on? Oh, cool boat. Oh, no.

Well, however great she was, I just can't afford that.

Well, I

Well, I can't do it with you guys watching me!

Well, I don't care. As long as my mom's here.

Well, I don't have a mother. So often I forget other people

Well, I go see my doctor tomorrow. I'll ask her about this.

Well, I got a job interview. Big deal, too.

Well, I got some bad news. It gets worse.

Well, I gotta get up early, and it's almost 7:00.

Well, I guess I'll take..

Well, I guess it's okay to open one more if it's part of a set. It's probably this one.

Well, I guess no harm in telling you now. Rachel and Ross are having a baby.

Well, I have been spending a lot of time in the lab.

Well, I haven't actually told her yet. I don't wanna scare her off.

Well, I just got off the phone with my lover James Brolin.

Well, I liked her.

Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey.

Well, I really have high hopes for my band.

Well, I really like you. And I love hanging out with you.

Well, I see you've had a very productive day.

Well, I talked to her, and she's definitely gonna have the baby.

Well, I thought I'd..

Well, I was due.

Well, I won't be able to come.

Well, I, for one, am glad you made it.

Well, I, uh, brought her some bloemen.

Well, I'll let you two fash..

Well, I'm a potato. Or a "spud"..

Well, I'm not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!

Well, I'm sorry about that too. But what are you gonna do?

Well, I'm supposed to work tonight.

Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.

Well, if you have some time and you wanna visit someone else..

Well, if you like, you could feel Rachel's, then feel mine to compare.

Well, if you must know, I'm a widower.

Well, it must be one of those closed circuit hospital channels.

Well, it turns out Ben and Sting's son do not get along.

Well, it wasn't my fault. Phoebe was in charge of the invitations.

Well, it's a long story, it's kind of embarrassing.

Well, it's no pesto.

Well, it's only different if he wants it to be. I'm not gonna ask him for anything.

Well, Joey, I'm a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists...

Well, Joey, we're all very proud of you.

Well, let me think about that while I remove my pants!

Well, let's just say:

Well, let's see, they gave me "cute boy" doctor today.

Well, little Jamie here is our third.

Well, maybe I'm ready now.

Well, maybe we will.

Well, mine are pretty close together. I think..

Well, no, she's way too emotional.

Well, now it's like things are different.

Well, now she has no eyebrows. Mission accomplished.

Well, now you're just talking crazy.

Well, remember the first time you saw Jaws...

Well, that sounds good.

Well, that would've been very hard to say no to.

Well, that's gross. Why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a Dumpster?

Well, that's it. I'm done.

Well, that's the finals, and I think she's gonna go all the way, sir.

Well, that's.. You know, that's..

Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.

Well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didn't follow it.

Well, the good news is, I don't think anyone's looking at us.

Well, the old lady died. And how do I know?

Well, then he gets a divorce. It's Ross.

Well, then somebody's snoozing.

Well, then you don't need me to live with you.

Well, then, we'd be in a lot of trouble. You don't know where any countries are.

Well, then, you must have a natural talent for it.

Well, there are so many things, you know, it's hard to pickjust one.

Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tepee.

Well, there is that.

Well, there you go.

Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores.

Well, there's a lot to think about.

Well, there's acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes..

Well, they have some unusual pet names for each other.

Well, they should put it in huge block letters!

Well, they should put that on the box!

Well, they're lucky to have you, sir.

Well, they've kind of locked themselves in one of the men's room stalls right now.

Well, this one's for you.

Well, to sum up..

Well, uh, I'm a paleontologist. Um, I live in New York.

Well, uh, yes and no.

Well, uh...

Well, um, another thing that our readers always want to know...

Well, um, does she like you?

Well, um, I don't have a gift because I wasn't invited until the last minute.

Well, um, they both have a egg yolk and butter base.

Well, um, you know what? Even if she doesn't know anything, I do.

Well, we could start trying now.

Well, we haven't said that to each other yet..

Well, we said we'd just do it that one time...

Well, what gives you the right to...?

Well, what's fun about that?

Well, what's he like?

Well, when we're at the door...

Well, who isn't?

Well, why not? So you could spend your time with this tramp?

Well, yeah, all right. Let's do it tonight.

Well, yeah.

Well, you could have untied it with your hands.

Well, you don't look good, Joe.

Well, you have to be honest with her...

Well, you know what? Consider yourself lucky.

Well, you know, things are different. I'm married now.

Well, you should be. Screw it. Bring on the yams.

Well, you sure found that quick.

Well, you used to be.

Well, you'd put a quarter in, pull some handles and win a candy bar.

Well, you're gonna be a wonderful grandma.

Well, you're just a little bitch, aren't you?

Well, you're only two centimeters dilated, and we need to get to 10.

Well..

Well.. It's just..

Well...

Were you guys making fun of Parker?

Were you talking to yourself?

Were you this irritating?

Western Europe.

What a beautiful place. What a great night.

What a great idea! That'll get Rachel to forgive me.

What a relief. It has the numbers for her prayer chain.

What about the stuff you said?

What about the women you wanna bring home?

What am I gonna do? I keep trying to get rid of these feelings.

What am I gonna say?

What am I supposed to do?

What an inspired solution to man's plate dispensing problems.

What are they doing out here? The coast is all the way over there.

What are we all doing in here? Oh, my.

What are we feeding this baby, Indian food?

What are we gonna do?

What are you doing here? I'm supposed to pick you up.

What are you doing home? What happened to your date?

What are you doing over there? Come sit here. Protect me.

What are you doing taking Introduction to Cooking?

What are you doing there, Gert?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? You've got an entire turkey to eat.

What are you gonna do, not take her? You're doing nothing wrong.

What are you gonna say to her? Where is this relationship going?

What are you looking at?

What are you looking at?

What are you reading? "A Kidnapper's Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?"

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? What about Ross?

What are you trying to tell me?

What college was that, Dina?

What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come?

What do I do?

What do you do in your spare time?

What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt..

What do you think it is?

What do you think you're doing?

What do you think, Rach?

What do you wanna do?

What do you want me to do..

What do you want to do tonight?

What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?

What else did you do?

What happened there?

What happened to the Disgustingtons?

What I do do...

What if it gets worse and worse.

What if they marry? He'd be the stepfather of my child.

What is going on with you. Since when are you so crazy about babies?

What is going on?

What is in there?

What is it that I do?

What is it?

What is it? Hey.

What is the matter with your hand?

What is this? A petting zoo?

What is wrong with me lately? It's like, every guy I see.

What movie do you wanna see? And not one I have to read.

What now, Ross, you're not gonna talk?

What probably happened was you were watching this, you drifted off to sleep..

What the hell are you talking about? The South will rise again, man.

What the hell is that?

What was that all about?

What was wrong with Mona?

What were you gonna say?

What would really help me through this tough time is choking someone.

What you envy's a shwang

What you got there? What is that, pie?

What, do they put something in the water here?

What, then? Kick me?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Are you referring to my man's bag?

What? Come on, I am tough!

What? I thought you were in your room.

What? It is?

What? It's not right! We're not ready to have a kid now!

What? Oh, can we please keep the chicken..

What? Oh, dear God.

What? Oh, my God!

What? Rach, come on, that's terrible.

What? Ross!

What? That's across town.

What? Wait a minute. How do you even know who the father is?

What? What?

What? What?

What? What? Rach, what?

What? What? What?

What? While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money?

What? Why?

What? You don't want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.

What? You mean they're not coming to a social event...

What? You weren't in it.

What?!

What?!

What?! What do you mean? You're not pregnant?

What'd he say?

What's a wolf gotta do to get a hug around here?

What's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance...

What's funny about that?

What's going on, Bing? Does your wife have a problem with me or something?

What's going on, huh? Girl trouble? Heh.

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's important is, we're having a baby, not who came on to who.

What's she doing here?

What's that now?

What's that, honey?

What's that, honey?

What's the best excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight?

What's the future look like for Dina and Bobby?

What's the matter?

What's the matter? Is the puffy, sweaty pregnant lady..

What's the matter? Scared?

What's up?

What's up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?

What's with the candy?

What's wrong with sun dried tomatoes?

What's wrong with you?

Whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me.

Whatever it is, I can do it. If you didn't see it up there, just try me.

Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy.

Whatever you want. Come on.

Whatever.

When Carol was pregnant with Ben..

When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!

When did people stop understanding "Get the hell out of my way"?

When I first found out they were getting married, I was a little angry.

When I get up there, I'm gonna kick some ass.

When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test, like, three times.

When I look around, I'm saddened by the thought of those who could not be here

When I took Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father.

When I wouldn't give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird.

When most people hear that the magazine's paying for it...

When my sisters were pregnant..

When she came in, I totally forgot about the camera.

When she comes back, I will find it and show you that stain!

When they finally got it open, millions of bugs came pouring out..

When was the last time you saw him?

When we were building in Uruguay, we were two towns apart and never met.

When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby..

When you say "use," do you mean "eat as a pre cooking snack"?

When you were a baby, I had full time help. I had Mrs. K.

When?

When? What happened?

When. When.

Whenever he was with me, I took care of him all the time, by myself.

Where are the pictures that that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?

Where are we?

Where are you from? What do you do?

Where have you been? I want to talk to you. I still feel bad.

Where?

Which brings us back, of course, to Greely's Theory of Dominance.

Which can either mean you're having a baby..

Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death

Which I'm not. I'm not.

Which is not a sexual thing.

Which is of no interest to me as a neurologist. I..

Which is okay, because I've got my boat.

Which one would make your little sister look hotter...

Which was misleading.

Which we're still keeping under our hats.

Which would be fine, except you totally are.

Which, after 20 hours of lessons, still came out Jamaican.

Which, by the look on your face, I'm sure you'll remember, so there's no need...

While we think it's marvelous you're having this baby out of wedlock..

While you're helping solve this problem..

Who am I kidding? I belong in radio.

Who are you talking to?

Who called here?

Who can say where the road goes?

Who can stay quiet the longest.

Who cares what the picture looks like?

Who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?

Who have been so neglected that they were incapable of love.

Who is the father? Oh, no. Please don't tell me it's her.

Who is this guy? Who is he? Because I'll track him down and kick his ass!

Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.

Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?

Who said that?

Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl for under $6?

Who would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl?

Who, you gotta admit, looks a lot like Jane.

Who's next?

Who's slippery now?

Who's that annoying girl soccer player?

Who's the father?

Who's the unwitting human whose essence you've stolen?

Who's this little guy?

Whoa, a lot late.

Whoa, whoa, that's not pretty.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't want to go. I'm having fun.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, no roommate stuff. We're on a date.

Whoo! Ha, ha.

Whoo.

Whose cell phone is that? It's just so annoying.

Why am I friends with these people?

Why am I talking like this?

Why are you all red and sweaty?

Why are you taking this so seriously? It's just a marriage.

Why Billy would just stay in this region.

Why bother?

Why can't I think of anything we're doing?

Why didn't I get head of the department?

Why didn't you take a cab?

Why doesn't she want to come out?

Why don't I hold on to him so there's no confusion?

Why don't we get a shot of Monica and the bloody soldier.

Why don't we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed.

Why don't we just find a place for it?

Why don't we just let the machine get that?

Why don't we see the bride and the groom, and the bridesmaids.

Why don't we start over? You can tell me about yourself.

Why don't you check in one of my saddlebags...

Why don't you take off your sweater?

Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself, Ross?

Why else would I be here?

Why else would you still be single?

Why have I seen this thing three times?

Why is that baby torturing that woman?

Why is that bagel on the floor?

Why not just jump out of an airplane or burn each other with matches?

Why not?

Why were you even watching it?

Why won't you let me massage you?

Why would I? That two of our friends could start a great love affair?

Why would she keep Richard in here?

Why would you bring me sewage?

Why would you scare me like that? What the hell's going on?

Why, no. It's the opposite of weird. It's regular.

Why, you saw it? Is it scary?

Why?

Why?

Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.

Why? What was wrong with her?

Why'd I have to start working out again?

Why'd you say no?

Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk?

Will you do the top of the cabinets? That'll really work up your appetite.

Will you let the lady talk?

Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips?

Will's here on business, and he didn't have a place to go, so I invited him here.

With a hint of morning sickness and I'm wearing underwear that goes up to about...

With all the politics and the mind games.

With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?

With another woman.

With everything going on lately, I haven't exactly been the perfect boyfriend.

With some clumsy idiot.

With someone I feel comfortable with, and who knows what he's doing.

With Ta Taka Ki Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.

With the exception of Ta Taka.

With the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.

Witty banter. Well done. Good.

WOMAN [ON TV]: Heh, I came to the big city to become a star.

WOMAN: Do you mind if I smoke in here? Oh, actually, I'd rather... Ahem.

WOMAN: Oh, make it stop! I am trying!

WOMAN: Uh, no, but I could pretend to strip.

WOMAN: What's taking you boys so long? In a minute.

Women!

Working here with us? Every day? I don't know if he has what it takes.

Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever!

Worth a shot.

Would it be okay if I give the toast?

Would you crouch down a bit so that I look taller?

Would you excuse us for a second?

Would you like me to lie down on the table?

Would you like to go to dinner sometime?

Would you like to say goodbye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her.

Would you like to take another question, or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?

Would you move your thumb. I can't see the seat number.

Would you say that that's more than 50 yards away...

Would you say your pesto is the best o?

Would you tell her I let you win, please?

Would've been good if we had gotten in, but still fun.

Wouldn't have mattered.

Wow, a star!

Wow, he kind of takes your breath away, doesn't he?

Wow, I can't believe that's our baby.

Wow, I can't believe they didn't put in the part...

Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.

Wow, looks like we got a lot of good stuff.

Wow, okay. Everyone..

Wow, really got that sexy smoldering thing going on.

Wow, she is kicking so much. She's like..

Wow, that was fantastic! I almost leaned in. I really almost did.

Wow, that's great.

Wow, this explains so much!

Wow, this is shaping up to be a pretty good date.

Wow, you realize we've been throwing this ball without dropping it for an hour?

Wow!

Wow!

Wow! I don't have the worst costume anymore.

Wow! It looks really violent!

Wow! This place is incredible!

Wow! Yay!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. Hats off to the chef.

Wow. Haven't thought about him in a long time.

Wow. I don't know, maybe

Wow. Is this friendship? I think so.

Wow. It's so weird. You're gonna tell this guy today...

Wow. Okay.

Wow. Sorry.

Wow. That is a great picture.

Wow. This picture of you sure is steamy.

Wow. What an incredible violation and wonderful surprise!

Wow. What is it? I'm sorry.

Wow. Whoa, what's under the cover?

Wow. Wow.

Wrap it up and put it in the fridge? No!

Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.

Yeah

Yeah, a lot of my students do that.

Yeah, about jellyfish, and how if you

Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable.

Yeah, and I'll have all the muffins.

Yeah, and if I get it, by day, I'll be Dr. Drake Ramoray.

Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment, I think I should talk first.

Yeah, aw. It was amazing.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah, but hey, hey. You always have liked my building.

Yeah, but how do I start? What's the first thing that I say?

Yeah, but I don't know why.

Yeah, but I love you more.

Yeah, but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird..

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's gay.

Yeah, but no one ever wanted to have one with me. I mean..

Yeah, but...

Yeah, by Sandrene.

Yeah, Candy's the mother, Cookie's the daughter.

Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna have to burn that room down anyway.

Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.

Yeah, he's the best.

Yeah, hey, thanks for giving me that girl's number.

Yeah, I called her name, and she ducked into a stairwell.

Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was joking.

Yeah, I don't think that's what it is.

Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work...

Yeah, I guess it is. And so...

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, I knew what you were talking about.

Yeah, I know. It's really boring.

Yeah, I mean, if you wanna say anything to her, I'd tell her off.

Yeah, I miss that too.

Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout..

Yeah, I think I suggested that.

Yeah, I think my pants are a little loose.

Yeah, I was in Barcelona.

Yeah, I would like that.

Yeah, I, uh... I'm just, I don't know. I don't understand...

Yeah, I'll press one!

Yeah, I'll take your picture.

Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me.

Yeah, it's right..

Yeah, it's the new building on Avenue A.

Yeah, it's, uh..

Yeah, Joey, maybe you could help her out.

Yeah, just a crush. That's all this is. It's a crush!

Yeah, just a tad.

Yeah, let's do that!

Yeah, maybe, if you're in love. But, Ross, we are not in love, are we?

Yeah, me neither.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, one time when we were dating...

Yeah, right

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure. And, hey, don't get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, that didn't sound like me.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, that was a real good one.

Yeah, that would have been a much simpler problem.

Yeah, that's gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest.

Yeah, that's our baby.

Yeah, that's Rachel. Beat me over the head with it.

Yeah, that's sad.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, that's what you need. A good pill.

Yeah, this was a stupid idea.

Yeah, uh

Yeah, um, okay.

Yeah, we are. It's so exciting.

Yeah, we both can. And we both will

Yeah, we should get married.

Yeah, we're done.

Yeah, we're gonna need to see that tape.

Yeah, we're moving forward. You'll be getting our card.

Yeah, well, it looks great.

Yeah, well, that's because, uh...

Yeah, what the hell.

Yeah, why would I? It's my home.

Yeah, you are, baby.

Yeah, you came up to me and asked me for a favor.

Yeah, you don't want to look in my hamper.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah!

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. "Happy holidays, from Mona and Ross." It'll be cute, okay?

Yeah. All that's gone.

Yeah. And I promise I won't make you eat any remarkable animals.

Yeah. And interesting, because I found the cameras in one of our bags.

Yeah. And what you're doing feels so good.

Yeah. Did I just throw this?

Yeah. Fine. Not perfect.

Yeah. Ha ha ha.

Yeah. He got all weird and sputtery. Then he said:

Yeah. Here we are.

Yeah. I have all of these feelings, and I don't know what to do about them.

Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left.

Yeah. It's kind of been like "us" again, a little bit.

Yeah. It's too weird.

Yeah. It's, uh..

Yeah. Me too.

Yeah. Me too.

Yeah. Me.

Yeah. No. No, you're right.

Yeah. Okay, but look, you know..

Yeah. Plus, it would be wrong, and weird and bad!

Yeah. Remember? I had to leave the other day when you had that chicken.

Yeah. She's putting her down now. That's her.

Yeah. So, uh, what kind of music does Numbnuts...?

Yeah. Sure. So, what was going on with you today?

Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here?

Yeah. We promised we weren't gonna tell anybody this...

Yeah. Why?

Yeah. Yeah, it really was.

Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly it.

Yeah. You gotta tell a girl before you tape her.

Yeah. You too. So, what are you up to?

Yeah. You're just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever.

Years ago, I was backpacking across Western Europe..

Yep, that's you.

Yes, 98.6. You're gonna be fine.

Yes, and I think that the first gift that Rachel opens...

Yes, but haven't you wanted a kid, like, forever?

Yes, Dennis is directing a new Broadway show.

Yes, I am with child.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I distinctly remember because I thought it was a joke.

Yes, I do. We're gonna go out, we're gonna have a good time.

Yes, I made it! I'm on time!

Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately, we can't guarantee a private room.

Yes, it is. I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog.

Yes, it's flown into your blouse.

Yes, money well spent.

Yes, of course.

Yes, thank you so much. And again, we're so sorry.

Yes, that's why I'm under the table. Celebrating.

Yes, the hard part is truly over.

Yes, there will.

Yes, we'll have ourselves a little baby Ruth.

Yes, when Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.

Yes, yes, I did, but it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.

Yes, yes, I do.

Yes, you're an excellent chef. As a person you're a little

Yes!

Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and it always makes them cry.

Yes! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it.

Yes! They're a little more than I usually spend on boots. Um, or rent.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Absolutely. Okay?

Yes. Ahem.

Yes. And not because I want you to go out with me.

Yes. I got half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus.

Yes. I like Rachel.

Yes. I've done my studying, and I really know my stuff.

Yes. Joey, I think everybody saw the wine come out of your nose.

Yes. Maybe it's a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?

Yes. She's gonna help us take care of the baby. Woo hoo.

Yes. Yes you can. I'm looking for Jack's parents.

Yes. You're gonna be so missed.

Yet.

You already got the first class tickets, the lounge. We should get free stuff too!

You already know what your kids' names will be.

You always believed in me, man, even when I didn't.

You and your brother didn't..?

You are a good friend.

You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet.

You are getting younger!

You are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world.

You are like Santa Claus on Prozac.

You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for.

You are my Everest.

You are never, ever gonna be alone.

You are, as your friend Tony would say, "Great!"

You ask an intriguing question, Chandler Bing.

You asked how long we knew each other, and I said eight years.

You being the "cake," Richard being the "too."

You better undo your buttons lest it sting you.

You can do this.

You can eat and eat, but nothing will ever fill that void.

You can have the bath, but I am taking your boat.

You can have the suite, if you want. We don't care about where we stay.

You can keep those pants, by the way.

You can take some castor oil. There's spicy foods.

You can turn around, or you can go in there and rip the Band Aid off.

You can understand why this would be weird.

You can't be a single mother alone! You're gonna ruin your life!

You can't do that, because you're gonna make me..

You can't do this to a pregnant woman!

You can't do this. You're gonna ruin his life.

You can't, okay? Ever

You caught me at a bad time.

You cooked him?

You could always sell your baby.

You could be my sister for the day.

You could borrow Chandler. Chandler is good.

You could put it over here.

You did see. You know it's a boy!

You did start that rumor about Ross..

You did the right thing by bringing her in.

You did the windows!

You did this to him?

You didn't do it?

You didn't expect her to live there with a baby, did you?

You didn't notice different clothes?

You do anything to Chandler, it's gonna bring you down to his level.

You don't believe in soul mates, so..

You don't feel that now. It was crazy. You're fine. You're better than fine.

You don't have to do this. The strength inside you means the most.

You don't have to put a good spin on everything!

You don't have to say anything.

You don't have to seem so happy about it.

You don't have to worry about that, okay?

You don't know how overwhelming this is gonna be.

You don't make a very good first impression.

You don't need to worry.

You don't tell a Broadway guy that! Now he thinks I'm just a soap actor.

You don't think it's a little crazy that you get all my points ?

You don't think that, um, "the chef's mahi mahi was awful awful" is bad press?

You don't think there's somebody better suited for Monica than me?

You don't think this is too fast?

You don't understand. You didn't see how brazen she was.

You don't want us to see this.

You expect me to be the host of a boring game...

You fall for it every time.

You feel better?

You fell asleep!

You figured you'd get what you wanted, then you'd dump her like Rachel.

You gave her a key to your apartment?

You get an A.

You get her in trouble and then you refuse to marry her?

You give me a key to your apartment, and then you change the lock?

You go over there and tell her you do not want her to live with you.

You got any beer?

You got it. Come here.

You got me my first headshots. How much?

You got pregnant for "funny"?

You got so much more important stuff going on in your life.

You got something growing in your uterus.

You gotta give me good news. How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?

You gotta press the button.

You guys don't know what it's like to get shot down.

You guys just got married. Why is she so depressed?

You guys were cool.

You guys, come on. What am I gonna do?

You guys, this is Shelly. She's interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest.

You guys, we really should get going.

You had both male and female reproductive parts.

You had that? I thought I lost it. I got a new one a month ago.

You hated the name Ruth. Why would you change your mind?

You have given us more joy..

You have no idea how much this hurts.

You have no idea.

You have to do me a favor.

You have to have sex to get pregnant.

You have to relax and let me take care of things once in a while.

You have to speak very loudly, he's almost completely deaf.

You have to think about the consequences of your decisions.

You hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere.

You hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth and the kid'll just.. out of her.

You just You come off a little needy.

You just kissed the caterer.

You just sit in there, stewing in your own filth.

You kissed another woman?

You knew and never said anything?

You know everything!

You know how you find him? Stop looking

You know if it's a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrene? Phoebe or Pheebo?

You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty.

You know what I mean.

You know what I think it is? I think you made such a nice home for her..

You know what I want? I want a lot of things.

You know what I was thinking about?

You know what they're gonna say this year? "God, you."

You know what, Mrs. Green? Maybe it's not absolutely vital that you live with us.

You know what?

You know what?

You know what? Bring her both.

You know what? Don't worry.

You know what? I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry.

You know what? I think I'll wait out here.

You know what? I'm coming around on the name Ruth.

You know what? I'm gonna get in my sweats and eat this in bed.

You know what? I'm gonna make this up to you.

You know what? I'm like him! I'm a positive person!

You know what? I'm not waiting. I'm gonna push this baby out.

You know what? If you're looking for a place...

You know what? Maybe you..

You know what? Screw them!

You know what? Tastes the same and my pants fit better.

You know what? We are interesting, funny people with good questions.

You know what? We have to turn off the porn.

You know what? We just met.

You know what? You have to go for it.

You know what? You look great. Yeah, like 50 bucks.

You know who else I like? You.

You know who I'm talking about? Bowl haircut, hairy fingers?

You know, actually, once I got dumped during sex.

You know, because of Indiana Jones.

You know, because the whole..

You know, before your wedding. It'll be more fun.

You know, before your wedding. It'll be more fun.

You know, getting her own husband a hooker. That's pretty funny.

You know, how I organize everything, right?

You know, I blame Ross for this.

You know, I don't understand why they didn't cry.

You know, I gotta go.

You know, I just don't wanna get in the middle of something so complicated.

You know, I just have one... Rachel?!

You know, I mean, on the one hand, "Mother, may I?"

You know, I think maybe the one present is enough.

You know, I was only kidding.

You know, I would, but it's just too painful.

You know, if you stick one hand down your pants, you're the spitting image of Joey.

You know, if you stick one hand down your pants, you're the spitting image of Joey.

You know, it's nothing.

You know, just don't get your hopes up.

You know, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby.

You know, not as safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Ha, ha.

You know, ordinarily, I'd be divorced by now.

You know, she has a face, Ross.

You know, this is actually not a great time for me.

You know, we agreed that it's a silly tradition.

You know, when we talked about face to face...

You know, where are we? Where is this relationship going?

You know, you're the glue holding this whole party together.

You like Rachel?

You like that, don't you?

You living in my building?

You look great. You must've lost..

You love her, you always have, you have a child together.

You make sex noises when you get massaged.

You mean like from behind?

You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle...

You mean your pink shirt?

You might be more comfortable destroying it yourself

You might want to do something with your hands. Like, off the top of my head..

You miss your girlfriend?

You must choose, Mr. Bing.

You must smell a lot of the time too.

You need new clothes.

You need to understand something.

You opened all the presents without me? We were gonna do that together.

You ordered a stripper for the shower? That is totally inappropriate.

You people are made of stone!

You probably shouldn't touch me.

You raise your hand, put your left hand down your pants and repeat that.

You really do live in your own little world, don't you?

You remember, Chandler.

You said hi to Mom before she left, right?

You said she was. I didn't disagree with you.

You said they were funny. Joke, joke, joke!

You said you hate massages.

You said you paid all that money...

You said you were ready too.

You said your boss wants to buy your baby?

You see that?

You see this tiny thing that looks like a peanut?

You see..

You seem to really know what to do with a utensil.

You should be impulsive and romantic. You did it with the wrong person.

You should come. Maybe you'll have the baby in the limo.

You should have seen the look on Ross' face.

You should know though, I've raised my rates to $200 an hour.

You shut up!

You so badly don't want us to see it that it makes me want to see it.

You speak Dutch?

You stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac Man...

You still got me and Phoebe.

You stole my moves!

You suck.

You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, I'll tell you.

You sure? I'm just saying..

You take as much time as you need.

You think it looked amazing?

You think so? I always kind of hated it.

You think this is beautiful?

You think this is clever?

You think we would have done it?

You think we would've gone through with it?

You think we're being obvious?

You think you can just buy my friend's baby?

You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?

You think young people use that word more than we actually do.

You two should live together.

You wanna come in for a beer or something?

You wanna do it again?

You wanna go see that new IMAX movie on tide pools?

You wanna live to see your baby?

You wanna see something funny?

You want a cousin right now?

You want a little cheering up? Sit down.

You want me to be negative? You want me to be less happy?

You want this man's blood on your head..?

You want to hear something sad?

You went home with the waitress.

You went out with her? We had a pact.

You were 50 minutes late to the class? Did you crawl there?

You were a closed book, okay? I'm not a mind reader!

You were a delight. You asked those great questions.

You were a little mean to him in high school.

You were fantastic. I'm so proud of you.

You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off.

You were one of the most popular girls. Everyone wanted to be like you.

You were right. He is funny.

You were right. I never should've bought them.

You were right. We did learn a lot from Mom and Dad.

You were sending me signals!

You wish.

You work up here. Where's Chandler Bing's office?

You wouldn't think Annie Liebowitz would forget to put film in the camera.

You yank his tail, and boom, you're in Paradise Pond.

You yelled at my boss! I'll lose my job! What am I gonna do?

You.

You. Take a lot of pictures.

You. You aren't.

You... Ugh. You're blurry.

You'd think that would embarrass me, but I'm maxed out.

You'd think the jalapeno would clear up your sinuses, but no!

You'll be heading a whole division, so you'll have a lot of duties.

You'll be perfect for this. That's already your name.

You'll be performing a service. Think of me as a ketchup bottle.

You'll be sitting next to HotGuy 372.

You'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacy part...

You'll make a wonderful father.

You'll meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.

You're 80% effaced. You're on your way. It still could last a while.

You're a joker, Bing.

You're a mean old woman

You're a really nice guy...

You're a weird lady.

You're absolutely sure she's a hooker?

You're an actor.

You're back!

You're betting on your friend staying in this misery?

You're both focusing on this uncomfortable thing.

You're crazy. There's nothing sexual about the noises I make.

You're cute, but you're not too smart.

You're doing a holiday card?

You're getting younger by the second. What's your secret?

You're gonna be a great father.

You're gonna be a poppy.

You're gonna have the baby and raise it by yourself, without a husband?

You're gonna have to push even harder.

You're gonna have to tell me how you did that.

You're gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!

You're gonna make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it!

You're gonna pick it up. Hey, you will. Look, when you first came to the city...

You're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead.

You're good with kids. They're just crazy on Halloween.

You're in love with her?

You're just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor..

You're just so funny. You're so funny. What do I do?

You're kidding! Your food is fantastic!

You're like Ed McMahon, except without the big check.

You're loyal, you're honest and you have integrity.

You're messy.

You're moving?

You're new at this, but this is unacceptable bath decorum.

You're new at this, but this is unacceptable bath decorum.

You're not gonna be able to have fun until we know. Do it as a present to me.

You're not gonna be able to keep doing this.

You're not gonna tell him you're pregnant?

You're not saying anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary?

You're not selling the story. You don't believe it.

You're not serious.

You're not some dumb kid who doesn't know what she's doing.

You're not the only ones on your honeymoon!

You're our little Em.

You're our little Em.

You're ready to have a baby? My boy's all grown up!

You're right. This is more fun.

You're right. You're right. I'm about to have a baby.

You're saying that because I said no to you.

You're so sweet!

You're sticking with the shell necklace, huh?

You're strong and together.

You're subdued.

You're supposed to realize they are adults and can make their own decisions.

You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?

You're the best sex I've ever had.

You're the funniest man here in a bunny costume his wife made him wear.

You're the hottest roommate I ever had.

You're the most talented chef I've ever worked for.

You're the sister. I just slapped my future sister in law's ass.

You're thinking about this way too much.

You're turning into a woman.

You're welcome, buddy.

You're wild, aren't you?

You're wrong.

You've been a little short with me lately. I'm not trying to irritate you.

You've been Bamboozled. You're gonna be a terrible mother.

You've got to be kidding me!

Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard.

Your alfredo's dry. Did you use your cheese?

Your body's rejecting Jessica's brain.

Your brain transplant wasn't successful.

Your car is about to be towed.

Your collective dating record reads like a who's who of human crap!

Your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back?

Your food is abysmal!

Your friend, Rachel. Your friend. Rachel.

Your makeup.

Your page said, "Come to the hospital." What happened?

Your parents never even gave you a chance, did they?

Your secret bachelorette party.

25J and K, any chance those aren't together?

150 pounds. I'll be on one of those Subway commercials.

"These are too expensive for you." She had a point.

"Where'd you grow up?" So simple. Thank you.

A '95 LeSabre? Yes.

A blueberry muffin and chamomile tea. Double latte, extra foam.

A card. A card. I pick a card. Oh, I'm sorry.

A green LeSabre? Yes!

A mento? Right.

A mento? You know, a mento. A role model.

A what? You really didn't know?

Aah! It's got a tail! Get it out! Oh, aah! Okay!

Aah! It's horrible! I know, I know!

Actually, the baby started kicking. How exciting.

Ah, heh. Although you missed a button.

Ah! Okay, that would make me Susan. Heh.

Ahem. Your '74 Lafite, sir. Seventy four?

All right. That sounds fair.

All right. Let's play Bamboozled. Bamboozled?

And a bagel with only I was just being polite.

And Bobby's gonna be here the whole time. You bet I am.

And he has a good 11 minutes left. So?

And I'm sure you've had them for us. Not really.

And nagging works! No, uh, I didn't actually do this.

And not just by us. That's right.

And now you're watching me walk away. Yes, I am! Again, so simple.

And she hasn't even thanked you for it. You know what? You're right.

And the cream? Cheese makes me thirsty.

Any minute now, the police will be here. The Police? Here?

Anyway, you wanna take a look? Well...

Are you doing it? I can't hear anything. Okay, I'll break it down.

Are you excited about our honeymoon? Yeah, I am.

Are you here for tickets? Ugh, thanks. Four would be great

Are you kidding? What's not to like? Custard, good.

Are you one of Ben's mothers? I am one of Ben's mothers.

Are you serious? Yes. When I first met you, you were like:

Are you serious? Joey smells gas. What else is new?

Are you sure? Yes. No. Google.

Are you with a student? Uh huh. I'm with Ben.

Aren't these the same flowers? I don't know. Monica picked them.

Aw, you poor little famous man. Mm hm

Baths are so relaxing. Really? What do you do?

Brenda, a bee! What?

But I didn't... Don't tell me! I don't wanna know!

But I'll take you back, Joey. About that, I...

But it came at a price. Ugh.

But it is huge. I know.

But it's a big deal. Yeah.

But it's Valentine's Day. I know.

But only if it's a girl. Oh, veto.

But there was no flash. Why won't you take our picture?

But you can wear your new boots. Ha, ha.

But, Ross, you want the name Ruth. Not like this!

By his uncle too. And by you.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. 'Bye bye.

Call it even? Okay.

Can I get you anything? I'll have a cup of coffee.

Can I get you some water? I'm good, I'm good.

Chandler Bing. Oh, Bing.

Chandler, why would you do that? Because it's awesome.

Chandler! Phoebe's hogging the game. Who cares? It's a stupid game.

Chandler? Hey. Did you find the cameras?

Come on, just answer the question. Ugh. Queens.

Come on, let's get some tea. Okay.

Come on, what is it? It's nothing.

Cool. Great.

Could you bring it back to your apartment? All right.

Could you get me something to drink? You got it.

David Linn. David Linn!

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here... Ugh, Joey, this is crazy.

Did Rachel find you? No, why?

Did she know you two weren't married? Yeah.

Did you do it yet? Not yet.

Did you give him a beer? No.

Did you tell them? I waited for you.

Do not take no for an answer. Okay.

Do you know what they have in there? No.

Do you really? No, I don't see it!

Don't you have that big date tonight? Oh, right.

Either. It makes no difference. Choose, you jackass.

Everywhere you go. I think it's coming from your bag.

Evidently, they do. What?

Ew. Still...

Ew. Ew. Ew, ew! ERIC: No, no, no, no!

Eww! No! What? I think he's cute.

Excuse me? One pregnant woman at a time, please!

Excuse me. Am I ruining my life? No, no, it's different for you.

Excuse me. Could you take a picture of us? Oh. Of course.

Face. Yeah. Yeah.

Fine, but I'm only doing this for you. Yeah.

Fine, you go. Okay. James.

Fine. What do you have? It's for a boy.

First you get my Rachel pregnant... You got Rachel pregnant?

Focus. Okay. Um...

For how long? Eight weeks.

Free porn! We have free porn here! Yeah.

Get out. No, I can't.

Get out. No, I can't.

Gift shop? Mm.

Give me one more. Okay

God, is he right? Am I awful? ALL: Oh, no!

God, Phoebe! You're on fire! I know!

Good to know. We could go into detail

Good. Hey, show them the picture of your uterus.

Grab my ass. Next.

Great nap. It really was.

Great. In three minutes.

Ha, ha, very good. What's your name? Monica.

Ha. Yeah.

Happy Valentine's! MONICA: Hey!

Hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Oh, you gotta go!

Hats off to who now? The chef!

Have you read the Walter Alvarez book? Yeah, heh, I teach it in class.

Have you talked to him lately? Look, I'm gonna unplug it.

Have you thought of names? Oh, yeah. I've come up with a bunch.

He couldn't have gotten this good. I did.

He doesn't even know what he's doing. We're all beginners.

He won't know what they mean. He's 7, not stupid.

He's looking at her differently. Phoebe is his friend.

He's miserable. What happened to him? Nothing.

He's talking to the baby. Oh! Okay.

Head, Ross. Head, Ross. Head, Ross. Right.

Here's a copy of your bill. Oh, thanks.

Hey Hey.

Hey, guys. Hey.

Hey, guys. I got some bad news. RACHEL: What?

Hey, how you doing? Don't!

Hey, how you doing? Good. Long time no see.

Hey, I offered to marry her. What?

Hey, I, uh, just picked up Ben from school. Oh.

Hey, Joe. Wanna shoot some hoops? JOEY: Hey.

Hey, Joey, can I ask you something? Yeah.

Hey, Pheebs. Hey.

Hey, Phoebe. Fatty. Wha ?

Hey, Ross. Hey.

Hey, you don't get a say. Yes I do.

Hey! Hi, bubbles. Manly.

Hey! Welcome back.

Hey! You got my parents' gift. Yeah. What is that?

Hey. Do I smell essential oils?

Hey. Hey! Um...

Hey. Hey! Um...

Hey. Hey! What...

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. So, what do you think?

Hey. Hey. What's up?

Hey. Hi!

Hey. Hi. Oh, my God.

Hey. Mm.

Hey. Oh, good. You're here. Pheebs? Listen...

Hey. Oh.

Hey. Shh. We're not talking.

Hey. ALL: Hey.

Hey. How'd it go? Yeah. What did Tag say?

Hey. JOEY: Hey.

Hey. PHOEBE: Hey.

Hi, sweetie. JOEY: Hey, it's your girlfriend, Rachel!

Hi, sweetie. JOEY: I love you.

Hi, we're checking out of the bridal suite. That's right, I'm no longer a bride.

Hi! Hey!

Hi. Come in. I'm so glad you're here.

Hi. Hey

Hi. Hey, check it out. This is unbelievable.

Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hi

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. You know Monica and Ross.

Hi. GROUP: Hi.

Hi. How is she? It's not looking good.

Holy mother of God! Oh, my God! I can't believe it!

Hop on. Okay, wait. Give me a second.

Hot? Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah.

How about Dayton? Veto. Stewart.

How can I be sure of that? Oh, because we drove each other crazy.

How come you're not going? I've got a job interview to get ready for.

How come? Apparently, Sting's son made fun...

How do you put a baby down for a nap? Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.

How long before you have to leave? An hour.

How long has it been this time? Ninety seconds.

How much of a man am I? Wow.

How was the game? Uh, it was okay. I ate way too much.

How will I get in touch with them? Their number's on the contact sheet.

How you doing? Okay. Okay. I mean, I'll be okay.

How you feeling? Got any morning sickness? Shh! The guys don't know yet, do they?

How? I guess I could break down your door. Yeah, do that.

How? I guess I could break down your door. Yeah, do that.

I am freaking out! Are you?

I am not gonna answer that. Oh, come on. Just pick one.

I brought you back a present. What...?

I can too eat by myself. When have you ever?

I can. Okay, go ahead.

I can't believe I screwed this up! I'm sorry, man.

I can't believe we're here. You've gotta be kidding.

I can't help you. Phoebe

I can't just give them away. Then get your money back, return them.

I could do that. Okay.

I did it. GROUP: Amazing.

I didn't! I saw you!

I do too, a little bit. Yeah.

I don't have your boots. I don't either. Where are they?

I don't know. It's moving.

I don't really remember the name of it. Well, what did it do?

I don't see any, uh, cabs. We should walk. No, we can't walk.

I don't think I'd care. Really? Lee Majors is hot.

I don't think so. Oh, I do.

I don't wanna wear the boots tonight. Why not?

I Dream of Jeannie. Yes. Yes, you're back in the lead.

I feel a lot better. Thanks. Wait a minute. Just come back.

I gotta go powder my ass. Oh.

I had the same conversation. What was he talking about?

I had to get the engagement ring back. Ugh.

I have you. Nice try. I'm keeping the boots.

I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet. Oh. Why not?

I just called a friend of mine. Yeah.

I kind of like it here. Do you really like it?

I knew you wouldn't be supportive. What are you gonna do?

I know about your feelings. Oh, my God, you do?

I know. I'll miss being able to afford food.

I know. What?

I know. What's her number? I don't know.

I like your top. Oh. You're not getting it.

I looked everywhere. There's no gas leak. So now I can heat this up?

I love her like a friend. Oh, really? That's how you treat a friend?

I noticed you picked out a lot of dinosaurs. RACHEL: Oh, yeah.

I see. But there'll be 30 people under you...

I think Brenda needs a raise. How come?

I think face is best. Yeah, face to face.

I think I know someone who does that. Me. I do that.

I think I know what's going on here. You do?

I think I'll take them off. Could you not narrate?

I think it's interesting. I do too. I missed you!

I think you should give him your star. Excuse me?

I thought you already have a job. And people say you don't pay attention.

I totally understand. Okay, good. Ha ha ha.

I want me to stay too. Thank you. Aw.

I was going to tell you, but... But what?

I was just gonna take out my lenses. Oh, yeah. Try that.

I was just so excited to see you. Aw.

I was up sick all night. Yeah, me too. All night.

I washed those. No, you didn't.

I wish things didn't have to change. I know.

I won't let you say anything. Stay here.

I wonder if it's that dude. There's a dude?

I'd like a Wicked Wango Card. Okay. It's an audio question.

I'll be back in a while. Stay here! Why?

I'll do anything to make that happen. MAN [ON TV]: Anything?

I'll see you later? Absolutely.

I'll see you there. Joey. Now that you're here...?

I'll take a card. Okay, you picked the Gimme Card.

I'll take him back to Wendy's. No, no, no. He's fine.

I'll talk to my supervisor. No, no. She wants to talk to you.

I'm gonna get some coffee. Want anything? RACHEL: Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna go get this warmed up. Okay.

I'm having a baby. Oh.

I'm having a wonderful time! Me too.

I'm just gonna grab the phone. Oh, Rachel, wait. Hey, um...

I'm just kidding. You can go pee. Ha, ha

I'm loud. It's gonna be up all night.

I'm not really in a sexy mood right now. Hey, what's going on?

I'm not touching you. You're not?

I'm not? No.

I'm pregnant. What?

I'm ready for more. Tag.

I'm serious. Look. There's nothing to worry about.

I'm so sorry for you! Oh, my God!

I'm sorry, Daddy. I don't believe this.

I'm sorry, I meant blue. Yes, green blue.

I'm Trudie. You must be Ben's mum. Uh huh.

I'm up all night. It's gonna poop.

I'm watching Cujo. Alone?

I've got a surprise for you. You got another ex wife back there?

I've never lived like this before. I know.

In London. Yeah.

Is it Gunther? No...

Is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her. Didn't you two already talk?

Is Rachel here? I'm her sister. Oh, my God. Jill.

Is that what they call strippers sometimes? When they're hookers.

Is there a Hopping Bonus? Of course.

Isn't it at 3? Son of a bitch.

It didn't click. I heard it.

It is a waste. No! Not her.

It is the right time. Okay.

It will be fun. All right. Okay.

It's a Diaper Genie. Oh, it dispenses clean diapers.

It's a humdinger. Too bad you can't tell me.

It's a Ms. Pac Man machine! Oh, my God!

It's crazy about Rachel. Yeah. Well, she's one crazy lady.

It's not Gunther! Thank God. That hair on a baby?

It's picture time. You're gonna love these.

It's Rachel! You like Rachel?

It's the salts. Sweet Lord, new realms of pleasure.

Joe, Mom and Dad are fine. Is that a sandwich?

Joey suggested Rachel move in with me. Ha, ha. Yeah, right.

Joey, are you sure? Yeah.

Joey, were you in our room last night? No.

Joey, what are you doing? Just what needs to be done.

Joey, you're doing great. So far, nothing stupid.

Joey! Oh, yeah, I'll marry you.

Joey? Come taste this. JOEY: What is it?

Judge rules: No violation. Oh.

Just act like you belong. Oh, my God! Oranges!

Just tell me, Rach. Just tell me. Ha, ha.

Let me see that. This one right here.

Let's just forget about the condoms. Well, I may as well have!

Let's rip. Really? Are you sure?

Like the candy? As a matter of fact, I do.

Like you did when I had to pee? Oh! Ha! I knew that.

Like your sweater. Oh. Hey. Right back at you.

Listen, I was really freaked out too when... Freaked out? No, I'm not freaked out.

Look, I know why you're here. You do?

Madre Sierra the of Treasure. Yes.

Make them be friends. You can't force kids to be friends.

Maybe it's something you ate. It could've been...

Maybe she meant to get you a hooker. Why would she do that?

Maybe they have a plan. Oh. Oh! Okay, let's hear their plan.

Maybe this is too weird. No, wait.

Maybe you and I should do something. All in good time, my love. All in good time.

Me too! I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here.

Me too. How was your week? Oh, it was good.

Me. Eight weeks of me. Yeah.

Mento? No, thanks.

Mm hm. Oh, yeah.

Mm. Ooh.

Mom, it's okay that you didn't get a gift. Well, I kind of did.

Monica, wait. What?

Monica, you go to the head of the class! Okay!

Must be tough to keep your hands off him. Ha, ha.

Mwah. Oh, yeah.

My God. What happened to the door? So it's noticeable, huh?

My husband. You hired your husband a hooker?

My mother's still alive. Oh, thank God!

Next. Hi. Can you do that and walk?

Nice jeans. Oh, thanks.

Nice move! Uh huh.

Nice to see you again. Sir, may I see your tickets, please?

Nice work, my friend. Wait, wait, wait, you see me again.

No, I didn't! All right, I took them.

No, I don't think so. Okay.

No, no, no, no. No! It's just Ha! ...like you actually...

No, sorry. So what? What?

No, we wanna wait. Right? Right. Right.

No, we're not. You have it right there?

No, you didn't. Yes, before we cut the cake, I said...

No, you don't. No, you don't.

No. No. Fear of the number 13. Fear of Triscuits?

No. She's hanging in there. Mm.

Nobody knows what they're doing. I do. I'm a professional chef!

Nope. Not a thing. Mm mm. It's frightening.

Not Chandler. Just Joey. Sure.

Not the disposable cameras from the tables. That's true! I knew I married you for a reason!

Not to me. What'd he tell you?

Now I can have milk every day. CROWD: Ah.

Now over to Chandler. I'd like a Google Card.

Now we both know the sex of the baby. What?

Now, just give her a chance, okay? Fine, I can do it.

Of course I am. Mom, I swear I'm not an idiot.

Oh, Allessandro's? I love that place! You do?

Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone? You want anything?

Oh, hello, Monica. MONICA: Hi.

Oh, hey, Rach, listen, um... Yeah.

Oh, hey, Rach. Um... Hi.

Oh, I like that. What's your name? Phoebe Buffay.

Oh, Joey, I'm hardly... My little sister, Dina!

Oh, Joey. I'm sorry. It's all right. Don't worry about it.

Oh, look. Acting for Beginners. Yeah.

Oh, Monica, those boots are amazing! They're mine!

Oh, my God, this is horrible. I'm sorry.

Oh, my God! Hey.

Oh, my God. Like a moth to a flame, I'm telling you

Oh, my God. Poor Ross.

Oh, my God. Introduce us. Well, this is Chandler.

Oh, my God. Rachel. Oh, hi.

Oh, my God. Your mother. What, my mom's not gonna be here?

Oh, no, no, no. No, no. ROSS: Heh. No, no.

Oh, no! Did you take my bra too? What bra?

Oh, no. I was missing out on all this stuff.

Oh, no. PHOEBE: I better go.

Oh, no. PHOEBE: What?

Oh, Rach. Screw you! You don't have to do it!

Oh, Rachel. What?

Oh, thank God! Oi.

Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

Oh, totally crazy, but you liked the food? Ha, ha. Very much.

Oh, wait! Stop! Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need a break?

Oh, you told your dad the truth. About an hour ago.

Oh, you'll take him. No I won't!

Oh! Every time. Yeah.

Oh! Hey, Mona! Hi... Hi, Rachel.

Oh! Hey, Rach! Hi.

Oh. I've only met your partner, Carol.

Oh. Everything okay with the waiter? I have no idea. I went to the bathroom.

Oh. He's in there right now? Uh huh.

Oh. Tough call. Yeah.

Ohh, a Salami Buddy! There you go!

Okay, all right, so now you go. No, I don't want to tell you.

Okay, bye. Bye.

Okay, don't worry. You're ready. Really?

Okay, great. Thanks. Hey, good luck.

Okay, I'm ready. You sure?

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. SANDRA: For what, dear?

Okay, Joey, you're up next. Yeah.

Okay, maybe I should come back... Shh!

Okay? Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay. He is so weird.

Okay. Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalanges.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Rash?

Okay. What?

Okay. Whoo!

Okay. All right. Unh. Okay.

Okay. Heh. Yeah.

Okay. How about for a guy, Thatcher? Why do you hate our child?

Okay. Let's move on. All right.

Okay. Ready for the last picture? Yeah.

Okay. So, what's the matter? I don't want you to date her.

Okay. Thank you. Okay.

Ooh, look. RACHEL: Wow.

Ooh. Are we opening presents? No. I shouldn't have even opened these.

Permission to veto. Yes, please.

Pheebs, give me the ring back. No!

Phoebe! Okay. Sorry. Yeah.

Phoebe! What? Why can't she marry me?

Playpen? Ben's 7. Your kid is 7?

Please, just go and talk to Rachel. Yeah, I guess I should.

Please! Please get the tickets. I'm sorry. I just can't do it.

Popular. With an aptitude for science.

Psst. You'll tell me later? You already know.

Queen Victoria. Correct again.

Rach, what were you thinking? Okay.

Rachel Green, will you marry me? What?

Rachel has an apartment. When the baby comes, she's gonna move.

Rachel, are you comfortable? If I said I was, would you judge me?

Rachel... No, it's okay. This is what's gonna happen.

Rash? Yeah?

Really? Absolutely.

Really? I'm telling you.

Really? No, ha, ha.

Really? Uh huh.

Really? Uh huh.

Really? Yeah, look.

Really? I don't like baths. You like them with me.

Really? Me too. Me too.

Right. To find out the sex of the baby?

Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you please. What is it, sweetie?

Right. Hi, Dina. Nice to meet you. Hi.

Righty 0, Ray. Whenever you're ready.

Ross, I swear. I don't know. Oh, come on, you know it's a girl.

Ross? What? What?

Saltwater taffy? Ha ha ha.

See, honey, there's... Don't touch me!

See? I told you. She stole my jeans!

Seriously, proud of you. Yeah.

Shall we? Yeah.

She didn't pass away. What?

She is? Yeah.

She really wanted to talk to you now. Yeah, it seemed pretty important.

She was looking for you. Well, I guess I'll catch up with her later.

She'll drive us totally crazy Hi, Ross.

She's a stripper. No, she's a hooker.

She's still mad. Yeah, I know.

She's wearing my bra! Oh, dear God.

Should we pick up from where we left off? I don't know.

Sir, this isn't a first class ticket. I'm sorry. Apology accepted. Excuse us.

Sit down, I got something I want to say. All right.

So anyway, uh, what is it? Forget about it. It's no big deal.

So how was Atlantic City? Good.

So how was the doctor? Everything went great.

So how well do you know Sting? I haven't met him.

So is that a bedroom? Yeah, yeah, right over there.

So much more. Mm.

So she's a... Yep, that's one naked hooker.

So when is the wedding? The who?

So whose is it? Um, I don't know, some Italian guy.

So, baby, tell me, what is new with you? Well, actually, um...

So, uh, I'm gonna take off. All right.

So, um, I gotta get going. Okay, I'll see you tonight?

So, what do you think? I'm torn...

So? Oh, my God.

Sorry. Well, uh, maybe I can help. Oh, I...

Sort of. Ha, ha. Really?

Sounds like you're a little jealous. No, I'm not.

Spiteful? MONICA: That's right.

Stick to your side. Hey, come on, now.

Sting has a son that goes there. I know. He's in Ben's class.

Such a sweet woman. Yeah.

Sure. Horny bitch.

Sweet! All right, finish your coffee. Let's go.

Taffy, really? I've never had any. Ever?

Tell it to the Time Turtle. Shut up.

Tell us what? We're having a girl.

Thank you. RACHEL: Okay.

Thank you. See you guys later. Okay.

Thanks. I'll go pack.

Thanks. Mm.

That noise can only mean one thing. ROSS & CHANDLER: Hungry Monkey.

That really would be great. Yeah.

That was a long night. What exactly did he say to you?

That wasn't bad. I didn't know there'd be dancing.

That'd be a good idea. Okay.

That's an old wonton. Judge rules: Nutter Butter.

That's fine. Can you stay up near my head? Yeah, sorry.

That's him, that's him! That's Cujo! All right, I know.

That's it. Is that it? Yes. He says I'm damaged goods.

That's Mrs. Tribbiani. You don't say anything.

That's my gym. I could tell you work out.

That's not really porn. Not so much.

That's so great. I'll be your baby's aunt! I know.

That's still in there? Not anymore.

That's true. You do have another child. Yeah.

That's what you said. No.

The bathroom? Right.

The chairs? Those too.

The duck gets the Nutter Butter. No. Wait, that's not a Nutter Butter.

The honeymoon. That's not till Thursday.

The pink one with the flowers. You mean the one you're wearing?

The place settings? Her.

The wedding pictures. Those won't be ready weeks.

Then talk to him. He might be fine. I don't know.

Then tell him to stop staring. It's Joey.

There's gotta be a better way. And there is, Kevin.

These boots were a huge mistake. What?

They do. No, they don't!

They made you head of the department! No, I get to teach his advanced class!

They're all Chandler. Chandler sucks.

They're gone? Monica's gonna freak! I'm sure they're here somewhere.

They're kissing. Let's go around them. Leave them alone. They're in love.

Third one from the left? Yeah. Why is it staring at me?

This does butch it up a bit. I swear, you will love it.

This game makes no sense. You're just upset because you're losing.

This is embarrassing. Can you believe how lame this is?

This is in such good condition. Yeah.

This is probably just a crush. You think?

This one's not dirty. It is when you put it together with that one.

This was, like, my second favorite game. What was your first?

This works in any milk carton. Wow, it is easy.

To see her pants? They're my pants!

Too bad we'll have to return them. Return them? Shh! They're gonna hear you.

Totally! Wow. Ha ha ha.

Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Correct.

Triskaidekaphobia. Fear of Triscuits.

Trying to date this woman. Right.

Ugh. Is it Chandler? No!

Uh, put your elbow in it. Excellent.

Um, Joey, I know. What?

Veto. Fine.

Veto. Why?

Veto. Helen. Veto.

Wait, Ross! I'm sorry, one more thing. Yeah.

Wait, where you going? I'm going to the bathroom.

Wait, who's the father? You don't know him.

Wanna go see a movie? Yes.

Wayne Gretzky. Correct.

We came to say goodbye. Have a great honeymoon.

We can do that after we get married. Married?

We can put it in the guest bedroom. Yeah, okay.

We do not have a diaper service. Funny you should mention diapers.

We just talked about stuff. What stuff?

We know it's Ross. How? How do you know?

We must alert the church elders. No.

We used a condom. I know.

We'd check it out, but you took our keys. Do something. Get in there!

We're back! MONICA: Great.

We're having a girl? No.

We're not married. We are having a baby together...

We're on our honeymoon. Congratulations.

Well, all right. I'll see you at 4. Thank you.

Well, her memory is pretty much gone. All right, then.

Well, I'm gonna go get these in some water. You stole those from that wedding?

Well, neither. Oh, my God, what's up?

Well, Rachel needs help with the baby. I do. I really do. I don't know anything.

Well, that was a quick shower. Not if you were here.

Well, then you have his baby. Believe me, I'm trying.

Well, then, who? I got a maid. Yay!

Well, we don't have a garage. Did I say garage? I meant garbage.

Well, we still hang out. Not like we used to.

Well, you still should have told me. I know, and I was going to...

What about it? You know.

What about the rest of Manhattan? Yeah, they all know.

What am I gonna do? I really need my guitar. I have stuff in there too.

What an unusual name. Well, you should meet my Uncle Bada.

What are you doing up? That is seven days.

What are you doing? I'm leaning.

What are you doing? Sorry, do you need the phone?

What are you guys doing in here? Oh, my God.

What are...? Hi! Hi.

What did you do? I was in charge of the cameras.

What did you say to her? Nothing.

What do you got behind your back? Nothing.

What does a Wicked Wango Card do? I should know that.

What happened? Oh. I fell asleep.

What is it? A video of my friend giving birth.

What is it? It's a trifle. It's got all of these layers.

What is the capital of Colombia? Bogoté

What is this? Hey.

What is this? Thread.

What secrets? No, no, Joey.

What sex? Our sex.

What stuff? Monica's chicken parm. I'll take care of this.

What the hell! Okay.

What was that "bam"? I don't know. He's hit by a bus.

What? Bath salts.

What? I drew you a bath.

What? I gotta go find her.

What? I miss this.

What? I'm saying if you can't eat by yourself...

What? Joey cracks me up.

What? Nothing.

What? Oh, but not in that way. Heh.

What? Oh, you don't know.

What? The guy who made these...

What? We were paying for our stuff...

What? What?!

What? Dina... Bub!

What? They took mine to give to you. Why would they take away our keys?

What? What did I do? What did I do? You can't leave a baby alone.

What? What did you take a picture of? Nothing. It was something.

What? What? I can't see it.

What's going on? I can't walk, okay? Okay?

What's the matter? Usually when I'm anxious, I clean.

What's three down doing? Sorry.

What's TiVo? It's slang for "pregnant."

What's up? Uh, Mona just dumped me.

What's wrong? I drew a bath, but I did it wrong.

What's wrong? Oh, nothing. I'm just... I just was yawning.

What's wrong? Why don't you sit down?

Where are the disposable cameras? What disposable cameras?

Where are the seats? Middle balcony.

Where were we? Do you take this man...? No!

Where'd you get those jeans? You gave them to me.

Which is why you should do it. I don't want to. You do it.

Who are you? We're you. Just 10 seconds later!

Who did this to you? Bobby Corso. But he's a real nice guy.

Who did? You did!

Who invented bifocals? Ben Franklin.

Who is this? That's, uh, Phoebe's friend's dog.

Who's David Linn? Some guy from my gym. A little annoying.

Whoa, whoa. Treeger, what are you doing? You said there was a gas leak in here.

Why can't you admit you need me? I need you. I need you to stay near my head!

Why can't you do that for me? Because!

Why did you get me this? What is it?

Why did you invite my mother? MONICA: What?

Why do you want to play so badly? Yeah, it's not like it spits out...

Why don't you fill out this address card? Oh, okay.

Why don't you sit down? Uh huh.

Why don't you use your key? I won't find it before the place explodes.

Why me? Hey, it's your bachelor party.

Why not? It's embarrassing.

Why not? Now let me think.

Why not? Well, the interview.

Why not? It's built into the price of the room. Yeah, but you don't need...

Why would she go in the bedroom? WOMAN: I'm waiting.

Why? Did you not hear where my head was?

Why? I think she's lonely.

Why? Uh, the sex.

Why? So he can get mad at the baby? Hey, that is the baby's problem.

Why? What else could it be? Oh, wow, I don't feel well.

Will you excuse us? We need to talk. Sure.

Wise choice. How many rungs? Six.

With my child. That is brand new information!

With my mom. Not so much my dad. Why not?

Would you be interested? I don't know, I don't know.

Would you excuse me for a sec? Yeah, sure.

Would you meet with her? I'd love to. Have her come by.

Would you take one of us? Uh. Yeah, sure.

Wow, I thought you'd be more shocked. Oh, sorry. And?

Wow, they're beautiful. They hurt so much.

Wow, we are pretty good at this. Yeah.

Wow, what did he do? Shh! I'm talking.

Wow. I know.

Wow. How do you know how to do that? That's what I do now.

Wow. Well, I will be there. Okay.

Yeah, I don't eat that either. I'll never understand you lesbians.

Yeah, I guess it is pretty big news. Pretty big? It's huge!

Yeah, it's kind of a relief. Yeah.

Yeah, then you did that. So you don't have the cameras?

Yeah, you know the SATs? Yeah.

Yeah, you too. Thanks, you guys.

Yeah? Just one thing. Um...

Yeah? I'm proud of me too. You should be.

Yeah. I'm sure there are two sides to this.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Then that's not breaking the law!

Yeah. Who is it?

Yeah. Who would you say is your best friend?

Yeah. Who's the father?

Yeah. We kind of didn't use any. Oh, come on, kids, a little help here.

Yep, healthy. And cute. And smart.

Yes, you can. Sting says so himself. What?

Yes! This is the best game ever!

Yes! What is wrong with this dog? Did you get to the part...

Yes? Hi. I'm Ross Geller.

You already know, don't you? A little bit.

You can do it! Don't touch me!

You can go. Thank you.

You can relax. You did great. I gotta say, thank you.

You can't marry him! Hey, lady, your day's over, it's my turn.

You do it. You do it.

You don't know. You didn't see it. Childbirth is a natural thing. It's beautiful.

You don't want my opinion? Not really.

You get all of Ross' points. What?

You gotta beat your scores. With the claw?

You guys! You guys, look! What? Did her ass explode?

You had a bachelorette party? She untied his G string with her teeth.

You had sex with Ursula? A little bit.

You just said that you did. I know, I lied.

You know what? Ahem. Can I talk now? Oh, sure.

You know what? Let's talk later. No. No, I wanna talk now.

You must have had your hands full. That I did. That I did.

You opened them all? I know, I am a terrible person

You said girl. Yes. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

You slept with her, didn't you? A little bit. Yeah.

You smell just like her. Yeah, so do you.

You told her? She pulled it out of me!

You wanna hear it? Yeah.

You wanna see if we still have it? Yeah.

You were wrong. He doesn't like me. What?

You won't blame us for any damage? No.

You'll all be aunts and uncles. But I'm the only one related by blood.

You're back from your date. How are you?

You're gonna do that 10 times a day? What, it goes 10 times a day?

You're not gonna believe what I did today. Clearly wasn't showering or shaving.

You're switching apartments? Not for me, it's for Rachel.

Your finger was covering the lens. Who are you, Ansel Adams? Get out of here!

Your muffins. Uh...

Your what? You've seen it, The Geller Yeller.

...and this basket is beautiful. It's actually a bassinet.

...and we'll get everything we need. Okay? Okay. Thank you. That's great.

...baby shower for Rachel today. I know. My daughters told me about it...

...or at the movie? At the movies

...you've been Bamboozled. No!

"Rachel" Rachel? It's not a big deal.

"Sous" is French for "under." I "sous stand."

A date? Yeah. Why, is that weird for you?

A doctor at this hospital? Damn it, we're losing precious time.

A heart attack, doctor. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, mild car..

A little mean? You made my life miserable. I had no idea. I'm sorry.

A little tall. What?

A pie! It's no fat, no sugar, no dairy.

A third floor paradise, a modern Eden. Yeah, I know, I know. Gotcha.

Aaron, your future son in law. Oh, no, no.

About 19 pounds. It's like me when I was born.

Actually, it's more like this. Oh, stupid metric system.

Actually, you have an edge. What's that?

Again? Yeah.

All right. Okay.

All right. Full name? Clifford Burnett.

Am I interrupting? Yes! Thank you! Later.

And are you married? No.

And I used to work at this place.. Do you like to party?

And I want it to be amazing. Okay.

And if it's a girl? I don't wanna say.

And it's not weird, is it? No.

And Monica has no idea? No.

And the antenna.. You're Spud nik! Yes!

And we were both in the Peace Corps. Peace Corps, really?

And what is his name? No.

And you are a very funny clown. Thank you.

And, currently, they're all unavailable. Man, if only you'd gotten here sooner.

And, you sure you're not pregnant? Yeah. I'm sure.

Any painful gas? No!

Anybody? Okay.

Anything we can do? No. Just nobody press on my stomach.

Are you and Chandler..? Exactly.

Are you experiencing any discomfort? No, I'm very comfortable.

Are you getting married? No.

Are you gonna be able to do this? Not well.

Are you looking at her? No!

Are you okay? Yeah, sure

Are you okay? You kidding me? Yeah, I'm great.

Are you sure? Yeah, I lied before.

Are you sure? Yeah.

Are you under the sheet? Yes.

Aren't you gonna kiss me? Okay.

At least give me a challenge. This is Chandler's chicken.

Because I'm dumping him today. You said he was sweet.

Because I'm not. We found your tests.

Because I'm pregnant, I'm invisible? Definitely not invisible.

Before we go out there, I got a present. I'm not gonna put my hand in your pocket.

Better go deal with it. Yeah, you should.

Bing, what's this? It's a hand.

Blind? Not at first, but it's intricate work.

Books? Okay, car magazines, cereal boxes..

But don't fire him today. Why?

But everything is okay. I'm fine. You sure?

But I'm rich and thin. Oh.

But it's you and me. It wouldn't be anything romantic.

But still not what you want. Oh?

But you did. Let's be honest. Yes, let's

But.. But.

By the way, James Brolin? I know.

Bye, guys. Bye

Calm down. Maybe you're not pregnant. What?!

Can I help? Yes.

Can I play for you? No.

Can I write you a check? Okay.

Can I? Sure.

Can we come in? Oh, come on in.

Can we do it again? No, no.

Can we make it a weekly appointment? Okay.

Can we talk to you for just a moment? Yeah.

Can you believe Phoebe got pregnant? Let's not talk about that right now.

Can you believe that? I know.

Can't you figure that out? I'm a doctor, not a mathematician.

Catwoman, hands down. Yeah.

Champagne? Oh, yes! Thank you very much.

Chandler, Monica, this is Don. Hello.

Chandler, you have to tell him. That would be so awkward.

Come on, I love this song. You'll be fine. No. No, I won't.

Come on, more. Oh, God!

Come on! Come on!

Come on. Push. Wait.

Come on. That stuff you said about true love?

Congratulations to you guys, though. No leg chewing for us, sir.

Congratulations, you two. Thank you, we're so excited.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Could I take Rachel? I'm not sure.

Could you give us a second? Sure.

Could you press up too? Sure.

Date of birth? November 16, 1968.

Dennis Phillips. I've admired your work for years.

Did that guy just call you Toby? Yeah, he thinks that's my name.

Did you put pickles on this? Well, yeah.

Did you see the cover of Vogue..? Could I just have the candy?

Didn't she walk with a cane? Only when it was damp!

Dinosaurs. Potato, potahto.

Do either of you have a key to my place? I don't think you've ever given us keys.

Do we have a name yet? No, not yet.

Do you believe in that kind of thing? A little.

Do you guys have any extra ribbon? Sure.

Do you have a bobby pin? Yeah

Doctor let me feel it myself. Have you felt Rachel's cervix, Ross?

Don't pick up the phone. Then he comes over!

Don't say "Oh, my God!" What?! What is that?

Don't worry, Tribbianis never get full. I'm here to tell you something.

Don't you look at her, you sick bastard! Honey, I swear I wasn't looking at her!

Double or nothing she has it tomorrow. Fine.

Dr. Geller. I wasn't farting!

Eating chips is like stretching. Okay.

Eighty.. Nine?

Everything's normal? Yes.

Excuse me? Cheese. It's smelly.

Excuse me? Nothing. You're just..

Excuse me. Yeah, that's quite all right.

Fine! And be careful who you hug, okay?

Fine. Thank you.

Fine. Thanks.

For, like, months? Five, to be..

Getting a little tired, though. God, I'm exhausted.

Give her a key to your apartment. We were closer with the mix tape.

Give her some money. I really think they're out of rooms.

Give us a minute? Kicking me out of my living room?

Good luck. Good luck to you.

Good night! Good night!

Good night. Good night.

Good scene, man. You too.

Good! Great!

Good. What're they like? I've never had one.

Good. Just have him call me. I don't think that's..

Got to go. Trick or treat.

Great. I'm in room.. Wait! What? No! Elevator! No!

Green Bay. Detroit.

Guys, guess what? What?

Guys, I'm not pregnant. Oh, slow swimmers?

H6Y H6Y

Hands. Hands!

Happy Thanksgiving. Will, I'm so glad that you came.

Happy Thanksgiving. You too!

Has the pain been getting worse? No.

Have you been working out? I have been working out.

He asked if you'd go out with him. I think I'm gonna throw up a little.

He could be my baby's stepfather. One date and they're getting married?

He didn't take it so well? Well, better than you.

He isn't thinking about going for her. He's not?

He loves The Velveteen Rabbit. That rabbit was brown and white.

He sounds swell. Doesn't he?

He wants to buy your baby? Can you believe that?

He works with food. Oh, sure. Older?

He's in room 816. 816. Thank you.

He's looking at me. Hey!

He's tall. He has brown hair. Of course.

Hello? Joey, it's Estelle.

Hello. Hi.

Her own? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Here you go! Oh, no!

Here's information on Braxton Hicks. Thanks.

Here's something to start you out. How's marriage treating you?

Hey, beautiful. Hello, handsome.

Hey, Bob. Hey, Toby. Have a good night.

Hey, Bob. How's my pal Toby doing today?

Hey, check this out. It's a dog

Hey, Janice. Oh, hi.

Hey, Joey? Yeah?

Hey, Joey. Hey, Kash. Ross, this is Kash.

Hey, Mom. This is such a great party!

Hey, Rachel. You ready to go? Yeah. See you guys later.

Hey, she didn't look 50! Did she look 16?

Hey, Toby? Hey, Bobby.

Hey, what were you doing in the library? They had magazines.

Hey, you wanna see something? Sure. What?

Hey, you wanna see something? Sure. What?

Hey! Hey, Rachel.

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hi!

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hi

Hey. Hi.

Hey. Joey, honey, listen.

Hi, dear. Hi. Thank you so much for coming.

Hi, Dr. Long. How are you? You're nice to her.

Hi, honey, I'm home. From the tequila factory?

Hi, I'm Phoebe. Eric.

Hi, Isabella! Hi.

Hi, Julie. This is Rachel. Oh, hi, Rachel.

Hi, liar. Hey.

Hi, Rachel? I'm Dr. Schiff. Yes, you are

Hi, sweetie! Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, sweetie! Hi, sweetheart.

Hi! Hi.

Hi. Hey, sweetie. Oh, good.

Hi. Hi, Mona.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. How did your doctor's appointment go?

Hi. Okay, Monica, Rachel..

Hi. Why haven't I seen you here before?

Hi. You ready for lunch? One second.

Honey, what's the matter? Nothing. I just can't stop crying.

Honey? Yeah?

Hot stuff? It's good to see you, man.

How about 50 bucks? I'll call Zurich and move some money.

How about you? Car accident.

How are you and Phoebe? Great. Thanks for introducing us.

How are you? I'm good, except you owe me a dance.

How cute was that? Oh, were you watching?

How did this even happen? Well, I'll tell you.

How did you propose? Oh, yeah, that's a great story.

How do you feel? I don't know how I feel.

How do you know about that story? How do you know about that story?

How long since you seen a girl naked? I was backpacking..

How many did you want? I'll get 100. A hundred?

How much longer? 30 seconds.

How old did she say she was? She told me she was 25.

How the hell did you beat us here? We took a cab. Did you guys walk?

How you feeling? Oh, I'm fine.

How? I don't know. Maybe they have tools.

I am so gonna score. What?

I bet you looked beautiful. Well, I don't know.

I bet you she'll have it tomorrow. You're on.

I can't believe this is happening. What do you mean?

I can't believe you didn't pick me. She's right. I am stronger.

I can't believe you fell asleep. I can't believe it either.

I can't do it! I didn't ask you to do it!

I can't let you do this. She's lying. What?

I can't push anymore! You're doing great.

I can't. I don't have any other clothes here. Find some, please.

I cannot wait to see this. It's generating Oscar buzz.

I could do that. Good.

I didn't wanna steal your thunder. So you told people I was pregnant?

I don't ask too many questions, do I? No.

I don't know if.. I really don't want any..

I don't know, $500. Okay, $500. What else?

I don't know. Do I? Do I? I think you do.

I don't know. Is it crazy? No.

I don't see him. You? No.

I don't want to owe you anything. You don't owe me.

I don't want your.. We're doing this!

I feel bad. I broke my leg once too. Yeah? How'd yours happen?

I feel terrible. I know.

I feel terrible. It's not your fault

I gotta get to work. Call me later? Sure, sure.

I gotta go back in there. What's wrong?

I gotta go to my room. Good night!

I guess we have some time to kill. Yeah, guess so.

I guess. Great! Now, if you'll just excuse me.

I have to find out how it went. Why?

I have to fire him. Why?

I haven't even seen it yet. I'll trade you two tapes of me having sex.

I haven't seen this dress. Star in a movie.

I just gave you peeing on a stick. See, this is why you register.

I just gotta.. No, really, tell me. What's up?

I just want the baby to be born today. Why today?

I know who you're talking about. Great! What room number is he in?

I know you're casting for this new show. I don't think you're right for this project.

I know. I know. You do. Okay.

I lose, now Jenga. Oh, my God.

I love games. Shocking.

I love the second grade. Really?

I love you. I know.

I made it myself. You are so talented.

I meant to tell you, Ross is coming. Great, I love Ross.

I needed to talk to you before the birth. Okay. What's up?

I see something. What, you do? You do? Oh, my God!

I started that! I thought I did!

I still love Chandler. Wouldn't hurt you to say it once in a while.

I think I need another cup of coffee. Sure, let me get it for you.

I think I'm gonna go. Please don't leave like this.

I think it's "Tibidabo." Do you want to tell the story?

I think we found a place. Okay.

I think we're gonna have some fun. Yeah.

I thought I cheered you up. You did. There are 20 in here.

I thought I was an idiot. I'm with you.

I thought she had two heads. Oh, God!

I thought you were at table six. No. Nine.

I wanna join! Phoebe?

I want to call them. Let's call.

I want to see it. What?

I will think about it. That's all I'm asking.

I will. The girl from the wedding?

I won't quit until you try one. Okay, fine.

I'd love to see pictures. Yeah, so would I.

I'd really like to. Hopefully this time Mom won't boo you.

I'll be back in an hour to check you again. Thank you.

I'll be back soon. Thank you.

I'll call you back. Who was that?

I'll come, but I'm not dressing up. You have to.

I'll run out and get you one. You girls are so great.

I'll see you downstairs then. All right.

I'll take that bet. What?

I'm 33. Okay.

I'm a commodities broker. That sounds interesting.

I'm a doctor. Right. I meant..

I'm excited for you and Ursula. I feel very lucky. She's great

I'm gonna find the men's room. I'll go with you.

I'm gonna go shave. Yeah, well, I'm gonna go spit

I'm gonna have you arrested. Why?

I'm gonna leave you three alone. Okay.

I'm just testing you! Well, that's the end of this conversation!

I'm not feeling it. I was outside Barcelona, hiking..

I'm sorry about your date. It's all right.

I'm sorry, I can't! I can't! Yes, you can. I know you can do this.

I'm sorry. I'm a positive person. No, I'm a positive person.

I'm telling you, I like the food. You like the Purple Rain display.

I've got the car keys. We're driving? Aces.

Is everything okay? That depends.

Is everything okay? Yes.

Is it Tag? Phoebe!

Is Rachel having the baby? How did you know that?

Is something wrong? You know the word "wrong"?

Is there a problem? No. It's okay.

Is there something going on here? Do you feel it too?

Is this your first? Yeah, it is.

Is this your table? Yeah.

It ate your money? No.

It could happen to anyone. Not to you. You know this stuff.

It doesn't happen to me either. Me neither!

It is. Yeah.

It was an amazing night. It was. It was amazing.

It was fun being married to you. Yeah, and it was an easy 400 bucks.

It was nice meeting you. You too.

It was your questions. What about them?

It'll be a while. Oh, okay.

It's a costume party. So that's why you're..

It's amazing. One hand on the sheet, Joe.

It's for your sake. I don't believe you.

It's Joey, right? Yeah.

It's just the pizza place. You hung up on the pizza place?

It's negative? No, it's positive.

It's no good. Throw it out. Meet some people.

It's not like it was binding forever. It had the word "eternity" in it.

It's okay. No, it's still wet.

It's okay. You'll find a name. Easy for you to say.

It's part of the game. This is ridiculous. He's not gonna hold

It's sex. Do it!

It's so much. Well, so what? I like him.

It's tough, but things will improve. How do you know?

It's true? No.

Jack? Why serve food on such a sharp stick?

James Brolin said.. Rachel's the one who's pregnant?

Joey, no. Loud and clear.

Joey! Chandler! They're at the coffee house.

just the stuff leading up to it. No. Rachel's gonna kill me as it is.

Just wait for Rachel to come back? Hey, if that's what you wanna do.

Kind of hurting my hand though. I know.

Know who has a great camera? Greg and Jenny?

Let me give you guys some privacy. Nonsense. We're all in this together.

Let's do it. Really?

Let's do that again! Okay.

Listen to this! I'm so sorry.

Look, I have a sonogram picture. Good.

Look, I'm just stroking your arm. Here we go.

Look, Mr. Zelner.. It's best I speak first.

Make it stop. Make it stop. Oh, no!

Making her a mix tape? Bigger than that.

Maybe I rode in on a Harley. Ross, it has to be realistic.

Maybe Monica has a bobby pin. Oh, sure, "Monica."

Maybe we can take it back. Where would we return it?

Melinda. All right.

Mia Hamm? Mia Hamm!

Mind if I mute? Oh, please.

Mom, no. Come on. Thank you. Just hear me out..

Monica. Hi.

Monica. It's been a really long time for you.

My mother killed herself. See, and I knew that.

Nice tan. Thank you.

Nice. Thanks.

No, I don't.. We're not gonna do that. We won't be doing that.

No, I let him.. Ross? Yeah?

No, I meant your costume. I'm a solar system.

No, I'm fine. You don't think that's inappropriate?

No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you. And I'm with you. What a great time!

No, I'm not doodie. No, space doodie.

No, you can't leave me alone with them. Oh, I'm sorry.

No! Wrong answer.

No! Yes!

No! You weren't supposed to see this! I married Fred Sanford.

No. Excellent. Excellent.

No. He was in Ross' class.

No. You're right.

No. I've been taking dancing lessons. What?

Not like that. Oh, okay.

Not so much. Okay, let's go.

Not your regular cleaners. I know.

Now you know how you really feel about it. That's a risky little game.

Obviously. And he's British. I was just gonna ask!

Oh, God! I know.

Oh, God! Oh! Oh, my God!

Oh, God. Okay. Okay.

Oh, gosh, a contraction. Yeah? Okay, okay. Just breathe.

Oh, hello. Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere

Oh, hi! Hi.

Oh, honey, I think I'm having one too! Oh, my God!

Oh, honey, you remember my boss, Doug. Yes. Hi.

Oh, I love it! You do?

Oh, I remember you. Really? Aren't you sweet?

Oh, it's Parker! Look, the Bunny Hop!

Oh, my God, it's Joey! Stop it. Okay?

Oh, my God, Phoebe? What?

Oh, my God! Why did you do that?

Oh, my God! You started that?

Oh, my God. How annoying.

Oh, my God. That was for my benefit? There was a little something for everyone.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah!

Oh, okay, I guess. Hey, smile!

Oh, okay. No! Come on!

Oh, really? Apparently, he is married to some singer.

Oh, Ross! Another contraction. Oh, okay. Here, here.

Oh, stop it. And your breasts!

Oh, sweetie. You know what the worst part was?

Oh, that sounded like a bad one. Yeah, it was.

Oh, that's terrible. I'm really sorry. Yeah.

Oh, there she is. Oh, she's so beautiful.

Oh, there you go. Of course he is.

Oh, up or down? Oh. Down, please.

Oh, we didn't. What?

Oh, yeah! Okay.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, you came on to Ross! What?

Oh, you made it! Hi.

Oh. Somebody went to college. Yeah.

Okay, Bob will stay put. I think it's best, sir.

Okay, dinner's ready! Okay!

Okay, good night. Good night.

Okay, here's a good one of us. Wow, that is a good one!

Okay, how much? One hundred thousand dollars.

Okay, my turn. My turn. Aunt Phoebe.

Okay, now he's cute, right? Oh, God, yes.

Okay, Ross, can I ask you something? Yeah.

Okay. I mean 500.

Okay. Oh, and you know what?

Okay. That's it. Push. Push.

Okay. Did you hear that? Yeah. That naked bagel game?

Okay. I'm done. Read mine. Okay.

Okay. Let me do it. No, I'll do it.

Okay. What's your name? Lelani Mayolanofavich.

Okay.. But that's not enough.

Open it, open it, open it. Yeah, baby!

Open it. Why'd you..

Or.. And here we go.

Our question might get answered. What question?

Parker's nice, I'd like to know him. You better do it now.

People tell doctors everything. You said he was this great guy.

Period math? Yeah.

Phoebe, no! It's okay. He's a virgin.

Phoebe! Monica!

Phoebe! Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.

Phoebe? Yeah, say my name. Say it.

Please? I don't eat..

Pride. And dignity.

Promise you won't tell anyone? Yes.

Rach, we gotta go. In a minute!

Rach, you wanna come? I can't. I've got a date.

Rach? You get back on that case, honey!

Rachel here? We have an appointment. In the bathroom.

Rachel, please? Oh, a little preview.

Rachel's having her aversion to poultry. She is?

Ready to get back to the dance floor? Did it turn into sand?

Really, it's nothing. I'm.. Rach, come on. What?

Really? Absolutely not.

Really? Absolutely.

Really? Oh, God.

Really? Really.

Really? Sure.

Really? Wait, it gets better.

Really? Well, not clients. Lovers.

Really? So this has happened to you? Absolutely!

Really? You can do that? Oh, you kidding me? Watch

Right here? No, not here.

Ross, how did the conversation go? Great. I live on the street.

Ross, I'm not hot. Are you hot? It's been six months. I'm always hot.

Ross! Hello!

Ross? It was no big deal.

Ross? Rachel?

Ross. What?

Ross. What?

See, I never knew about her. Linda Llegglachen..

Shall I call the meeting to order? Is everybody present?

Shall we get me really drunk? Sure.

She put you on the map. As a romancer of the elderly.

She's gonna be fine. Okay.

She's got a date? With who? I set her up with this actor.

She's right. We are having a baby together.

She's the most beautiful woman ever. Thank you.

She's with me. Dr. Drake Ramoray. Dr. Drake who?

Show me how you did it. No, I don't want to.

So anyway, I was hiking.. I love hiking!

So can I ask you a question? Yeah.

So he seems like a nice guy. Yeah, I like him a lot.

So how much do I owe you? What?

So how's the game? I have no idea.

So Ross? Yeah.

So tell her that. No, I can't.

So when are you gonna talk to her? Oh, my God. I have to tell her.

So when do you want to start trying? All right, hold on a sec.

So where's the party? It's in Massapequa.

So who else was in this club? That exchange student from Thailand.

So you getting tired? No. I could do this all day.

So you're Monica's boss? No, she's my boss.

So, is it my turn now? I'm next.

So, what do you do? I'm a masseuse, by day.

So, what's your name? Gert.

So? She's fine.

So? What happened? It's all gonna be okay.

Solid effort. Solid effort. Oh, so who won?

Sorry I kept you waiting so long. That's okay. Where do you wanna go?

Sorry, honey, I'm just having a rough day. What's wrong?

Sorry, wrong number. Here you go, babe.

Sorry. Oh, no. No, don't be.

Sorry. Well, for next time.

Soul mates? I don't think they exist. Good.

Stevie's a family friend. Oh, my God. That's amazing.

Still won't let you in, huh? No.

Stop it. Come on! Why are we wasting time?

Sure! What? No! No!

Sure. Yeah? Hop on

Sure. Yeah.

Take it. What?

Taking a long walk. Good. Done.

Tell me a little about yourselves. Actually, we should get going.

Tell me a little bit about yourself. Okay. I'm a masseuse.

Thank God. It's a haven.

Thank you. No, thank you, Miranda.

Thank you. That is so sweet!

Thank you. That was very nice, Ashley.

Thank you. There.

Thanks for coming. See you later. Don't go. I'm so sorry.

Thanks, Mrs. Geller. Oh, come on, you can call me Mom.

That is so cool. And I got Kama Sutra for the Elderly.

That is so sweet! I want to hear the rest!

That is so sweet! I want to hear the rest!

That may be weird. Yeah, it would be really weird.

That proposal at the planetarium? I know, I know. It was stupid.

That was a big one. That's the youngest girl to reject me.

That was amazing. I know.

That was off the top of your head? Yeah.

That you came on to me? There's the one!

That's a man's shirt. Awfully pink.

That's all it is? Absolutely.

That's crazy. That's what I told him!

That's cute. Bing! And the Bingette!

That's him! Great. Go get him!

That's never gonna happen with Ross. That's what I thought.

That's never gonna happen with Ross. That's what I thought.

That's nice. Oh, he's lost a bunch of weight.

That's nice. You can still have that. No. Rachel's out with some guy.

That's okay, you can dance with her first. Are you sure?

That's Rachel. You have to talk to her.

That's so sweet. Yeah.

That's what I said! Isn't it strange? Not really.

That's Will, from high school. Oh! I do not remember him.

The baby! Rachel! Right, right!

The baby's kicking for the first time. Really?

The chemistry's just not right. The chemistry thing for us too.

The Hard Rock Cafe? Yeah.

The only reason I joined.. Cofounded.

The smell is just.. Typical.

The work problem? It was perfect.

Then dinner sounds great. Great! Okay.

Then I remembered he's gay, so.. Ed Begley Jr. is not gay.

Then talk to him. I don't know.

then we should just break up." Yeah, that's true.

There are ways to help things along. Do them!

There go the clothes. You are undressing awfully quickly.

There has got to be a way. Easy there, Captain Kirk.

There I am. You're gonna get pregnant.

There's no danger? No.

There's no question. So you think Ross too?

There's only been four kids. I know.

There's this place, Alessandro's. Oh, my God! I'm the chef!

They could be true. But they're not.

They didn't have any sodas? Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

They love him down on six. But this is 11.

They're great. If you just.. You know what?

They're under Ross' coat. Sure.

This conversation never happened! Never happened!

This is hard. Yeah, I know.

this is my friend Roger. Hi, Roger.

This is Phoebe. Hi.

This is so huge. Sure, but as big as your wedding?

This room's available. Okay! Wait, you listen to me!

This year, I'm gonna make them cry. You wonder why Ross is their favorite?

Those are my maternity pants! No, these are my Thanksgiving pants!

Three. Just three?

Tim, wait. Yeah?

Tim, you're a really great guy. That's because I'm with you.

To be romantic. Good.

Toby, don't. Bob.

Toby, you got a sec? Sure. What's up?

Tomorrow's no good for her, either. Why not?

Trick or treat! Can I give out candy?

Trick or treat! Just a minute!

Try one. They look too weird.

Two weeks ago. That's it?

Unbelievable. It's great! We love marriage.

Ursula? Ursula's fiance?

Wait a minute. Who's the father? She won't tell us.

Wanna give me a hand? I can't get over how great you look.

Want some chips? No.

Want to go for coffee? I'd love to. Let me tell my friend.

Was that another joke? Was that another question?

Wasn't it interesting, Jack? Why don't I remember this dog?

We both have the Annie soundtrack. Honey, both yours.

We can catch that Ukrainian film. No, I said fun.

We did a little more than that. No, no, no.

We didn't do anything wrong. I know.

We didn't get a chance to.. You're kidding!

We didn't get anything for anyone. Nice necklace.

We don't want to go down that road. No. That's why I brought it up.

We hate that. That is a slap in the face.

we have so much in common. Oh, really?

We have to pretend that we're married? I had to shave my ears.

We know it's a girl. I'll give you really good odds.

We look pretty good. I was gonna say.

We started a rumor. What rumor?

We told them you're married. What?

We were all just being too negative. You're right.

We were playing a game. Was Chandler naked?

We were surprised we weren't invited. No, it was a small wedding.

We'll dim the lights. Okay.

We'll talk about something else then. Thank you.

We're trying to dial down the crazy. Right.

We've seen each other a lot lately. Yes.

Welcome home. How was the honeymoon?

Well, Alexandra has.. It has a name?

Well, hello there. Hi.

Well, I'm not proud of this, but.. Oh, my God. Please don't!

Well, it's a funny story. Funny, "ha ha"? Or funny:

Well, maybe that's really brave. Maybe.

Well, tell us, what are they? Okay. If it's a boy, it's Daniel.

Well, we are ready to try anything. There's an herbal tea you can drink.

Well, which part exactly? The whole thing! Here we go!

What about adding him to our team? Bob?

What about me? You said you didn't want to go.

What are you doing here? They sent me home from work.

What are you doing? Going over my toast.

What are you doing? I'm working on my toast.

What are you doing? What? This may be my only wedding.

What are you guys doing? We had lunch at Adriatica.

What are you supposed to be? Remember the satellite, Sputnik?

What are you? There's no name for it.

What did you say? "No."

What did you think she was gonna do? I don't know.

What do we do? They both want a house of cheese.

What does yours say, Pheebs? All right.

What else? What else? He's 33.

What happened to Jessica's body? You'll have to see it on TV.

What happened? I told him I was pregnant.

What is she, crazy? That's your wife you're talking about!

What is? The lie you just told.

What personal thing? About sex?

What problem did you say you have? Oh, that's not important.

What restaurants do you like? Octavio. 27 and 7.

What the hell are you doing? This is Chandler's office.

What was the other one? Delilah.

What were you thinking? That it was okay..

What? 600.

What? A new grocery store.

What? Before you say I'm wrong..

What? Fire a guy that's just been dumped?

What? Good God, man. Don't anger it.

What? He's too excited about everything.

What? I hated her.

What? I love you.

What? I said it was typical.

What? I'm kidding. This is gonna be fun.

What? I'm pretending to watch..

What? It's negative.

What? It's not negative, it's positive.

What? It's weird, two people look so alike.

What? Let's just say I took care of it.

What? Oh, no, no. It's okay.

What? Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.

What? Really?

What? That's right. We said your parents..

What? The card! I think we're there!

What? The Lions technically won.

What? They're wildly unpopular.

What? What?

What? What?

What? Yeah, Joey, she's..

What? You got fake numbered.

What? You used the Europe story!

What? You want to hang out or something?

What? You're the 200 pounder who rode her!

What? You're welcome.

What? Are you crazy? That's it, right there! That's all I wanted!

What? I said I'd do it. I know, it's just..

What? People don't do that. Oh, I think we do.

What? Really? You kidding?

What? What? Contraction!

What's going on? Come feel my belly.

What's going on? I made her tuna with pickle.

What's going on? Monica's pregnant.

What's going on? Phoebe says you and Don are soul mates.

What's the matter now? I was reliving it.

What's the matter? It's these new shoes, they're all slippery.

What's the matter? Nothing.

What's up? I haven't seen him since he said..

What's up? I left my guitar here.

What's with the sun dried tomatoes? I know! Is this 1985?

When have I ever done that? When have I ever done that?

Where did you have it? On a cliff in Barbados, at sunset.

Where is that CD? I'll save you time.

Where is the Cat Stevens CD? The James Taylor case.

Where is this "actor" taking them? Hey! I'm an "actor" too.

Where'd she go? They're just wrapping her up.

Who else was in this club? Me and Ross.

Who the hell is this guy? This is Will, from high school. This is Joey.

Who would like some yams? Will? You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Who's playing? Los Angeles.

Who's that? New people.

Who's the father? Yeah.

Who's the guy? Parker, we met at the cleaners.

Why are you looking at me like that? Sweat's burning my eyes.

Why are you lying? I don't know.

Why aren't you moving your feet? I'm trying.

Why aren't you with Rachel? You're kidding, right?

Why did you give her a key? She talked me into a corner, okay?

Why didn't you tell me? I thought it might be true.

Why don't you correct him? It's been going on way too long now.

Why not? I don't know! What's she hiding?

Why would they do that? I don't know.

Why? Because I'm gonna kill him.

Why? Because I'm gonna kill him.

Why? He wants to leave the country.

Why? Well, last night, I met Monica's.

Why? Why not?

Will we take a limo? Sure!

Will! Ross!

Will! Ross!

With who? No, it's still not the time.

Would you like to dance? Sure.

Would you like to see a semi private room? Yeah, it couldn't hurt to look.

Wow, Bing! Burning the midnight oil. You know me, sir.

Wow, they're both really strong. Or equally weak.

Wow! What?

Wow! You are a very scary witch. Thank you.

Wow! You do? Yep. A pretty huge..

Wow. She didn't photograph well!

Yams! Okay.

Yeah

Yeah, exactly. Right.

Yeah, I guess. A little. Ain't no thing. I'm wild too.

Yeah, I know. I've missed that. Me too.

Yeah, I'd really like that. Yeah?

Yeah, it's not. Oh.

Yeah, right there. Want it there? Take it there, baby.

Yeah? Yeah. And, uh..

Yeah. A little relieved, I gotta say.

Yeah. So, what do you do now?

Yeah. This is completely normal.

Yeah. What's up?

Yeah. I thought you knew that. No.

Yeah. You want some? Just cut me a little sliver.

Yes. Also, tell them I'm skinny now.

You are so sweet. Really?

You are unbelievable. Thank you.

You can't tell me to shut up. I think I just did.

You did? Yeah. When were you there?

You didn't dress up either? Yes, I did. I'm Chandler.

You didn't have to come in. You kidding?

You didn't tell anybody I was, did you? No.

You do attract some stinkers. Yeah, I know.

You do? I had them picked out since I was 14.

You do? Yeah. You still have feelings for me.

You don't believe in soul mates? No, but I'm sure "tomahtoes" does.

You don't have to finish. I do. Otherwise, what's next?

You don't have to stand with me. I'm having fun.

You don't know, do you? Couldn't care less.

You don't want to hear about it. Then why did I ask?

You don't want to see this, do you? Hell, yeah!

You don't? Nope.

You gave me a teeny weenie. Yeah!

You got her pregnant? Yeah.

You got the keys? I got the keys.

You gotta take it now. No, this your wedding.

You guys could arm wrestle. Listen to the slutty nurse.

You guys! Hey there.

You had a club? The "I Hate Rachel Greene Club"!

You have a church group meeting. Right.

You have to wear a costume. I can't make it.

You heard that? Everyone at our school heard it!

You kissed me first. You were begging for it!

You know what? What?

You know what? I'm back in the club! Yeah!

You know what? Just drop it. Show me how I begged you.

You know, like Sputnik. What's a Sputnik, doodie man?

You lied to me! Well, she told me to!

You like football? Normally, I don't.

You like Green Bay? It's only my favorite bay.

You liked it? You really liked it? Oh, yeah!

You look incredible too. You're so fit. I'm watching the game, but I'm not deaf.

You made it. Wait.

You made pesto? Yes, I did.

You need to tell her how you feel. That's the green stuff talking.

You okay? Yeah.

You okay? Yeah.

You picked Ross? Ross is strong.

You read comic books, right? Exclusively.

You read tea leaves? I've done it for years.

You said everything was okay. What do I know? I'm not a doctor.

You set her up? No.

You snooze, you lose. He's not snoozing. He's teaching.

You sure? Yes.

You think you could take him? The dude with the balls on his chest?

You think? Yeah, know what?

You told me I could have six tickets. I sold four on eBay.

You tried making me think I was crazy? That was wrong. I'm so sorry.

You try opening it with a credit card? That's a good idea.

You wanna do it? No!

You wanna grab some coffee? No. I'm gonna go eat 10 candy bars.

You want a calculator? Please.

You want to hang back and take a cab? Okay, otherwise I'm not going.

You want to take me? Yeah, I wish I could take everybody.

You went to the movies by yourself? Mona!

You were backpacking across Europe? Have a nice six more months.

You were in an "I Hate Rachel" club? Yes, he was.

You'll be here all night. I know.

You're a potato? Well, I'm a spud..?

You're fired! I'm breaking up with you!

You're fired. Why?

You're getting a crush on him. No, I'm not, you are!

You're going down. Oh, yeah? You're going downtown!

You're my friend! Right back at you.

You're Rachel! You're Joey!

You're Spud nik. Come on, who we kidding? I'm doodie.

You're supposed to wear a costume. I am

You're talking about a dead pet? It's good stuff, huh?

You're the prettiest ballerina ever. Thank you.

You've done some really amazing stuff. Thank you.

You've gotta talk to her. I can't.

You've gotta talk to her. I can't.

Your story sucks. Then you didn't tell it right.

Your team winning? Anderson just scored again.

..

...a bunch of, uh, red spots.

...a Clark Bar after every game.

...a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower.

...and a bag of Meshugga Nuts they got another thing coming!

...and bathe her and change her.

...and cleaned it up with Monica's guest towels?

...and damn it, I am a good friend. So shut up and close your eyes.

...and focus on what you do do.

...and giant baby heads stretching out...

...and guess who is the clue for three down?

...and he has no idea what's gonna happen.

...and he's obviously busy during.

...and he's out picking up some shopgirl at Sluts R Us?

...and here.

...and I don't know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my Diaper Genie?

...and I hired a stripper to come dance for you.

...and I started talking to her about morning sickness.

...and I would like you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.

...and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels.

...and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend.

...and made my character fell down the elevator shaft.

...and maybe a mobile, you know, over the crib...

...and now I have to pee. Sorry.

...and right here is your baby.

...and statistical factoring and for other companies.

...and suddenly seen them in a different way?

...and the groom only has on one shoe.

...and then people can see how sweet and wonderful you are.

...and then she came back and wore them in front of you?

...and this door was like a child to them.

...and this sales woman just started flirting with him.

...and thoughtful he is.

...and trying to score when there's a screaming baby.

...and when I come back, I'll clean behind the fridge.

...and you found out that he didn't like you? How would you feel?

...and you know that it actually is a girl.

...and you're gonna get a stripper.

...and, I mean, we're having this baby together and we live together...

...and, I mean, we're having this baby together and we live together...

...and, uh, here's a baby monitor which, until the baby comes...

...and, um, I just got a really bad review.

...as soon as they're done with it at the key shining place.

...because I didn't want to jinx it.

...because if some other woman was cleaning...

...because it'll just split her focus.

...because those boots go with skirts, dresses and pants.

...between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating.

...but a month ago, Rachel and I slept together.

...but ends up having sex with a lot of guys.

...but for this he closes the d****s.

...but I hope this dog dies.

...but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachel's father.

...but I want you to be at my constant beck and call, 24 hours a day.

...but I'm more than a pretty blond with an ass that won't quit.

...but I'm really busy that day.

...but I've really grown up. And I think we should get back together.

...but it is a picture of my first kiss with this lady.

...but it'll also be really, really great.

...but it's only because I really, really like you. Really.

...but it's wrong. You're married.

...but now I think she may wanna start things up again.

...but please don't name your child Pheebo.

...but she got confused about what she's supposed to do.

...but she's a tough old bird. BOTH: Aww.

...but then we were just friends, and then there was one drunken night...

...but there's no way we can take eight weeks of her.

...but these darn cartons are so fringing flanging hard to open.

...but they have famous fathers.

...but we're not involved.

...but you're just so beautiful, I don't think I can.

...but you're really going down different ones.

...but, oh, I wasn't allowed to. All we got was a stupid steak dinner.

...but, you know, you just have to be okay with it.

...can anyone tell me the difference between hollandaise and béarnaise sauce?

...can make you want to kill yourself.

...Darwin.

...do all this romantic stuff.

...doesn't mean this is a disaster.

...first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.

...for the people working with me.

...from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?

...from the gut wrenching pain of knowing that's never gonna happen!

...from the KL5 to GR6 systems.

...happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages?

...hates feet and wants to see them die.

...he thinks he can take up the whole river.

...how about Sandrene? It's French. Huh.

...how can you have a baby by yourself?

...how long it took to go back in the water?

...how this happened.

...I come back and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant.

...I don't think we thought it all the way through.

...I had sex with somebody that looked an awful lot like...

...I heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.

...I lightly press my lips against his.

...I put on shiny lip balm.

...I see her.

...I stayed in my room.

...I think this is the best date I ever had. I know!

...I thought, "There's a trick."

...I'd sit you both down, have a talk and make it all okay.

...I'm getting my revenge.

...I'm gonna get on this spaceship...

...I'm gonna want to meet her.

...I'm Professor Geller. Good job today.

...if you had to... If you had to, who would you punch?

...if you were the sort of person who eats lunch?

...in the laundry room.

...is how soap stars stay in such great shape.

...is manage to, uh, create an atmosphere of support...

...is there any way that I could substitute the, um...

...is there anything you think our readers ought to know?

...ists get down to business.

...it just isn't gonna happen.

...it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.

...it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach.

...made more than just the one pair?

...maybe I should keep it. No, I love it. It is a great present.

...of the fact that Ben's moms are "les be nims."

...oh, I don't know, gal pal Rachel Green.

...open our books to page 23...

...or should I climb down your back so we're butt to face?

...otherwise you may think that you're going down the same path...

...past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey.

...Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.

...second kisses.

...should be from the grandmother of the baby.

...snooping around her crotch?

...so I called the father and asked him to meet you here. Go!

...so I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of foil.

...so you can dump a certain amount on them.

...so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid.

...so you get to name him when it's a boy.

...so you'd better watch yourself. Ah.

...so your best friend would want to do her?

...that does data reconfiguration...

...that's just people standing around answering questions?

...the decent thing to do is to accept it.

...the problems he's having with Ben? Yeah.

...then beef sautéed with peas and onions.

...then I tell her my pregnant ex girlfriend is living with me.

...then I'm gonna go do that, so...

...then maybe I don't wanna be with that woman.

...there.

...there's very a noticeable rip.

...they want a big, fancy restaurant.

...three pound lobster?

...truly has enriched the days of our lives.

...um, all the while thinking about the children of course.

...until you finally have the sweet release of death.

...was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy.

...we can use as walkie talkies. Eh?

...we got a late checkout, he got so excited, it was the best sex we ever had.

...when I look at you.

...when I was making love to her and thought she was you...

...when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.

...where there's no men and no booze? That's shocking.

...where they're in the car and Cujo's throwing himself at the windshield?

...where you said you didn't watch soap operas.

...where you will see a, uh..

...where...

...while I chew on a bale of hay?

...who still used Daddy's credit cards, remember?

...will be happy to learn that.

...with rogue Third World nations. Hi, Rasputin.

...with your permission.

...you could get involved in.

...you were right.

...you were this spoiled, helpless little girl...

...you're gonna have a bachelor party. What?

."baby".

"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges."

"Candy and Cookie"?

"Candy and Cookie"?

"Coming up, Monica. I have to obey you, otherwise the system breaks down."

"Comma, officer."

"Dear Rach, you're such a great person." Not girl, "person."

"Did you get home okay? Was your shower okay?"

"Do I want to be a dad?" Then, bam!

"Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible.

"Ezel"? Ezel...

"Here are the invitations, Rachel. Be very careful, Rachel.

"Hey. How you doing?"

"Hi, Monica. This is Jenny." "Hi, Jenny. Hi, Greg."

"I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock!"

"I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch."

"I know that." "Then why are we having this conversation? "

"I was so worried about you." Be a man!

"I'm a recovering alcoholic," "I'm a Mormon"..

"Joey loves you. Be prepared."

"Momentary lapse." Don't you have any self control?

"Relinquish" is just a fancy word for "lose."

"Restaurant reviewer admits: 'I was wrong about Monica."'

"She made me switch to light mayo." That's it! That's all I got!

"Sting's son, 7." There's a picture.

"We were on a break." "No we weren't." What happened to you two?

"Where's the baby?" "Oh, it's right over..."

"Whom."

"Will you marry me?"

"Yeah, have your ex wife move in. That wouldn't be awkward at all." Heh.

"You don't go buying people's babies! So back off!"

"You're a great person. Sorry about your teeny weenie."

[ALL GASP]

[ALL GASP]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[BABBLING]

[BABY CRYING ON TV]

[BEEPING DIES OUT]

[BEEPING DIES OUT]

[BELL RINGS]

[BELL RINGS]

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[BOTH slc3l l]

[BOTH SPEAKING HINDl]

[BOTH SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

[BOTH YELLING]

[BREAKING]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[DOG GROWLING ON TV]

[DOG SNARLING ON TV]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[English US SDH]

[ENYA'S "ONLY TIME" PLAYS]

[EVE'S "LET ME BLOW YOUR MIND" PLAYING ON STEREO]

[GASPING]

[GASPING]

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[GIGGLES]

[GLASSES CLINKING]

[GREEN CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[HORN HONKS]

[HUMMING "I DREAM OF JEANNIE" THEME sows]

[IN EMBELLISHED VOICE] But by night, I'll be Joey Tribbiani.

[IN EMBELLISHED VOICE] It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray.

[IN EMBELLISHED VOICE] Let's play Bamboozled.

[IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE] What? I didn't even know! Why didn't you tell me?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] What? I'm an excellent secret keeper. I've kept all our secrets.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] What? Why?

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[JOEY CHUCKLES]

[JOEY CHUCKLING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DQOR]

[KNOCKING]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LOUD BANGING]

[MACHINE BEEPS]

[MIMICS BABY CRYING]

[MIMICS MONKEY GIBBERING]

[MIMICS WHEEL SPINNING]

[MOANING]

[MOANING]

[MONA SIGHS]

[MONICA KNOCKS]

[MOUTHS] I love you.

[MUMBLES]

[NOISEMAKER HONKS]

[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]

[PAGER BEEPS]

[PANTING]

[PANTING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[POINTER CRACKING]

[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

[RACHEL LAUGHS]

[SCREAMS]

[SHATTERS]

[SHOUTING] No! You son of a...

[SINGING] All you want is a dingle

[SINGING] Bermuda, Bahama Come on, pretty mama

[SINGING] Ross can!

[SINGS] Ross can!

[SOBS]

[SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

[SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

[SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

[STAMMERING]

[THUDDING]

[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]

[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]

[VIDEO GAME BEEPS]

[VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING]

[WHEEZES]

[WHIMPERING]

[WHIMPERS]

[WOMAN GROANING]

[WOMAN ON TV MOANS]

[WOMAN ON TV MOANS]

[WOMAN SCREAMING ON TV]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[YAWNS]

[YELLING]

200. Thank you.