Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013) - Season 8 Edit

A "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" tour bus.

A cat has ten lives.

A chance to blow off some steam.

A classic Jake and Judy outfit change!

A clear attempt to delegitimize her.

A cool final case

A cool scary modulated voice or something.

A couple of fresh, fatty trout.

A crackpot, a kook,

A different way to find him.

A digital phallus portrait.

A dot? Huh?

A Fancy Bedste Venner feature on us?

A final non holiday associated heist.

A finger was broken.

A friend, a confidant, a

A guy rear ended me and the cops showed up.

A heart.

A lot of room for uh's. I like that.

A loving and inspiring kiss. We can't hear you.

A more dramatic moment accompanied by fireworks but...

A new riddle appeared in the steam on the mirror.

A non gold alloy that should not be handled by women

A perfect goodbye.

A place where you go, and they comb the lice out for you.

A prison jumpsuit.

A real perfect goodbye would've had

A romantic picnic sitting in this remote clearing?

A scalding hot mess.

A scatter plot of educational attainment

A secret no one else knows.

A sentimental gift from me. Look what I got Holt.

A single brown hair,

A six day pass to Pirate's Cove Waterpark.

A six month subscription to the Rosetta Stone?

A sprint out of the elevator. This is unfortunate.

A statement of public support for the officer,

A tight knit work family.

A time of bliss, a loving and inspiring kiss.

A trash bird. Okay, so you made your point.

A turtle with a monocle and a top hat.

A woman was assaulted by two police officers

Abort, she's onto us.

About Charles' paternity real quick?

About him, but he was my husband for 20 years.

About how horrible his ex wife is.

About how relationships are like a chess match.

About how surprisingly cool his mom is.

About our reform proposal, but apparently,

About some larger insecurity

About the one thing that's most important to him

About turning police work into movies.

About work regulations, so I'm guessing

According to the DNA results,

According to the pedometers

Actor. Huh?

Actually, you're entire first year here

Admitting that they don't actually have mono.

After Ames and I find a sitter. Great.

After he started making me wear them.

After the burping, shall we?

Again, I'm sorry about that interruption.

Again, not a threat,

Again, though, there's no H in whoop.

Against our heroes in blue,

Agent Feingold, call me if you need anything.

Agent Feingold, our guys were on the scene first.

Agent Feingold.

Ah, Mervyn's!

Ah, this is hard.

Ah, what a first thought mathematical symbol.

Aka Rosa Diaz.

All I could think about was what a disappointment

All out in the open like some common candy ho?

All past heists will be forgotten

All right, all right.

All right, Charles, I get it. You're scared.

All right, fine.

All right, I got Bill on the GPS.

All right, let's ride!

All right, look, I know that I brought in the wrong guy,

All right, now go. Everyone, get out of here.

All right, now let's reassemble those cousins.

All right, tell me about the bus.

All right, then. Goodbye.

All right. Thanks, Lynn. Bye.

All the best.

All the locks in this building have a magnetic release

All the officer has to say is he feared for his life,

All the perp had to do was show them what was in the bag,

All this stress is making my head itch.

All we ever wanted was to be detectives.

All we need is each other.

All you do is talk about Kevin. This needs to stop.

All: Nine Nine!

All: To the squad.

Also, arrests are down.

Also, I'm moving in with my girlfriend, Debra.

Also, my time with you will be cut short.

Also, there's gonna be a lot of [bleep],

Also, this is not the vibe I was looking for.

Although I guess my hair took it a little better than yours.

Although I must say, this look kind of works for you.

Although, thank you, that was a very nice thought.

Always helping people through their troubles.

Always Holt.

Am I the only one who suspects foul play here?

Amsterdam is great.

Amy would never fudge numbers. She loves numbers.

Amy, why is your ex boyfriend here?

Amy!

Amy?

Amy's my mom.

An adult named Todd?

An arm.

An arm.

An empty parking lot with nobody in it?

An hour before he found it in his burrito.

An IRS building. That has to be the target.

An official two time heist winner

And "daaang" is good.

And a black sheep set to inherit everything?

And a Boyle always says "I love you."

And a camo baseball cap. You'll fit right in.

And a chance to make a real impact.

And a couple years ago,

And a human.

And a police captain...

And abandoning me in a car?

And admit that he set Jake up.

And also of concern is the shape and the color...

And also this 1976 Chateau Haut Brion.

And also, cha ching.

And Ames, this is it.

And apparently it's quite expensive.

And asked me what was in my bag.

And asking for my help.

And be a father and do my job and straight up crush it

And because the facts of the case will remain unresolved,

And because this is a dream, I'm in control.

And besides, we can't break into the union.

And Boyle was there.

And breaks the least often.

And bruises all over my body,

And by the way, you should really make

And Charles said that work

And Charles will never be suspicious

And closed the door behind him.

And date 75 year olds and now

And day care actually recommends

And definitely a different phrasing.

And desperate to find a case to work.

And do a full exam. Ah.

And do this job without you. Are you kidding me?

And enjoy all of us being together one last time.

And enjoy the rest of the show. You're cutting me out?

And every time he kills someone, he taunts me.

And everyone's gonna be so shocked when they find out

And everything's set for the funeral?

And exactly what we're driving.

And for what it's worth, I made sure he was let out

And frankly, I resent the implication

And get the tube. Nice work.

And give you all gifts.

And handed it off to a person who lured you all here

And he doesn't own a phone.

And he got so upset that he ran away.

And he laid down a beat for us to write a song to!

And he never even batted an eye.

And he never used the M word.

And he spilled on himself.

And he was dragged from Times Square into Queens.

And he was fit as a fiddle.

And he was listening to it when we called him.

And he's not even slurring his words.

And he's not here.

And he's such a terrible sleeper.

And head to the Brooklyn Bridge.

And here's the most important thing we didn't do.

And holding hands, it was amazing.

And Holt and Amy are moving on too.

And hope for a connection later.

And how can this one be expected to do his job

And I allowed myself to imagine, as Kevin held my hand,

And I am blackballed.

And I am not showing up in a shower cap.

And I can correct them? It is and you can.

And I crawled into that thing.

And I definitely don't think we're friends.

And I didn't want to rub it in.

And I don't know what to do with myself.

And I don't think it'll work now.

And I don't want Mac to ever feel the way I felt growing up.

And I don't want people to think I was a part of it.

And I expect he'll be bursting into my office any minute

And I found something.

And I get that it's not on you

And I got to do the parent thing.

And I gotta hand it to you guys:

And I guess what I'm trying to say

And I have a prescription for anxiety, so it's legal.

And I have some good news.

And I hope your get shoved right into your

And I just sit at home playing "Animal Crossing."

And I just want to say, what makes

And I know how that sounds

And I know how that sounds,

And I know how that sounds, but I'm not one of the bad ones

And I learned a valuable lesson from all this,

And I like to think I've done a lot of good as a detective

And I put a lot of pressure on this moment,

And I realized,

And I really think this is it.

And I say to you, "How can I ever repay you?"

And I see you found Charles' cheese.

And I set it up while you were looking for Charles.

And I think she forgot to add something.

And I turned out just fine.

And I was embarrassed for her.

And I was reading that Simone Biles

And I was scared to be alone.

And I was too embarrassed to ask for it back.

And I will chop off your limbs and feed them to your young.

And I will sink to the bottom and then I won't have a job.

And I won't know what kind of man he becomes.

And I would get all the glory. Wow.

And I would hate for it to be destroyed

And I'll make sure it's the same as mine,

And I'm getting Rosa a travel board game so she knows

And I'm gonna be even more humiliated.

And I'm gonna wipe your little tushy.

And I'm here to stop your heartless crusade

And I'm keeping the gum.

And I'm not trying to make a point.

And I'm sor Stop talking.

And I'm starting to worry that I might lose to him.

And I'm willing to say as much in a court of law.

And I've been thinking about it a lot

And I've decided.

And I've had to work solo. Sorry.

And I've just been assaulted based solely on profession.

And if she does, I'll give each of you $1,000 cash.

And if you did, I would lose my badge.

And if you do, you click "daaang."

And if you think the jokers are really wild

And issue a verbal warning

And it gets thrown out.

And it has to be a surprise. Fine.

And it hit me.

And it is definitely problematic.

And it just needs a little...release."

And it really messed me up.

And it seems I have... neglected my personal life.

And it smothered them to death, it was actually kind of cool.

And it was a big hit.

And it was open because Peralta picked the lock.

And it was really graphic.

And it was the longest nap he's ever taken.

And it's all thanks to these guys.

And it's also just such a wonderful way

And it's driving your guys crazy.

And it's made out of golt,

And it's my day.

And it's my day.

And just as I was working up the courage to ask him to stay,

And just because our choices are different

And just being with her, looking into her eyes,

And Kevin rolling down the hill,

And lake houses that aren't lake houses.

And Lamazar didn't know that, so how did he?

And let Charles run point on the Franzia case.

And let's just say

And look what we have here.

And Mac's my little buddy.

And makes this all about himself again.

And making sure he doesn't know Holt's working.

And may the better friend win.

And Muffin had the same ulcers that Pappy had.

And my parents are out of town, and my brother David can't help

And no one had time to plan anything too complicated.

And none of them trying to hit CompStat numbers,

And not being a criminal.

And not noticing that he was driving directly to us.

And not the picture that came with the frame?

And now he's going away and

And now he's leading him, by the hand, out of the woods.

And now he's trying to escape?

And now I'm tailing him.

And now it looks like

And now my job and my name are all on the line.

And now the officers are back on the street

And now they're here. These guys are real.

And now we're working with Dr. Ramanujan.

And now, checkmate.

And now, for the pièce de résistance.

And O'Sullivan's about to come home and catch us.

And obviously things are a bit tense,

And of course, my mama's sweet potato pie.

And on the way over there,

And one day his hand got caught in a subway door.

And only one will get funding.

And only one will get funding.

And please don't say anything until I'm done,

And prevent you from controlling it.

And respond to major crimes

And right now, you're assaulting

And rioting leads to looting.

And ruining his life?

And Santiago has her big presentation this week.

And Scully's candy.

And see if he'll pull up, aren't you?

And since I'm not competing, I've agreed to help out.

And spend the rest of my days with Hitchcock in Brazil.

And still be an equal parent.

And still have us be there for Mac as much as we want.

And stumbled into accidental wordplay.

And surprisingly heartwarming.

And swap it out for the one with the tie inside.

And swapped out Sergeant Muscle Guy's candy

And takes a dump on your life."

And talk about something else immediately.

And Teddy was a great friend to me.

And tell him you've been thinking about him.

And Terry hates ledges.

And that dog was Cheddar.

And that feeling is all that matters.

And that I can continue to do that, but...

And that lab is owned by David Share,

And that lack of trust means people won't help us

And that person was a dog

And that thing is sealed on tight.

And that was wrong.

And that your crew's on the lookout for the Trans Am,

And that's hard to do with you there.

And that's thanks to you...

And that's that.

And that's what I am to you now, a stranger.

And that's why he was cutting through,

And the courts are a nightmare.

And the donkey, three for one?

And the entrance worked perfectly.

And the Grand Champion of the Nine Nine.

And the last one gets you the tube.

And the officers get paid to stay at home.

And the only real winner that matters is this year's

And the only reason I didn't tell you sooner

And the Snyder cut.

And the surprising underdog, Original.

And the weird way you're talking, Santiago?

And the whole heist ends up with everyone

And the workers are treated so much better.

And their teeth are more orange.

And their version of events is only two sentences long.

And then accidentally added two zeros.

And then completely decimate the diamond mine.

And then find a way to slip her the dummy tube.

And then I had my other partner intercept Cheddar.

And then I have a plane to catch.

And then I just made it worse, you know?

And then I knew you'd wanna show off the fireworks.

And then I'll come back for the stuff.

And then I'll never get to see Nikolaj grow up.

And then in the final battle, you save my life

And then Lyndon said... Good night.

And then one of the only female captains in the NYPD

And then poof, gets pulled off the streets.

And then thought you needed to add the cents too

And then to go home to my ma at night.

And then took turns giving each other head massages.

And then trying to tear out my actual hair?

And then use a piece of fake memorabilia

And then we ate his sweet candy insides.

And then we can decode it together

And then we can tell them together.

And then we're all set.

And then you're immune.

And then, of course, the second swarm of bees,

And then... I just know.

And there is no light

And there is no way on God's green earth

And there was a partial on the wrench.

And there's never any big conflict.

And there's nothing that anyone can

And there's only one person who stands to profit.

And they assumed I was joining the Blue Flu.

And they laugh at Louie even though he's going blind,

And they said that he would, quote,

And they say WAP on the butt.

And they say, "Yeah, no problem, 45 minutes."

And they'll be forced back to work.

And they'll kill our reform program.

And they're all just sitting around

And they're closing for the next two days.

And they're on their way to help him escape.

And they're yelling at me to stop resisting,

And this case where a Black woman

And this golden vessel

And this is a big job, so I will need some help,

And this is what its call sounds like.

And this isn't a real hospital.

And this one is especially sad

And to wear this Never Forget Burrito ribbon.

And told you he was cutting you out of his will.

And try and find a witness to corroborate the story.

And trying to keep a low profile.

And unbolt the emergency exit hatch while it's still moving.

And unfortunately for you,

And unless you're willing to play ball with me,

And wait for you change your mind...

And we are not getting in there without an intricate plan.

And we have a new teammate.

And we know it's not the last couple years

And we need to hurry.

And we sent the Hitchcock and Scullys

And we work best together.

And we'll always have

And we're all moody?

And we're getting out of here together.

And when he gives you a mono diagnosis...

And when he got chosen to give the eulogy,

And when the dog thing came up, I said,

And while I'm not yet ready to talk about it,

And who's gonna bathe him on the even days?

And who's gonna do the cooking? And who's gonna figure out

And why the glasses?

And will be implementing it citywide.

And win the whole thing. I can't run through walls.

And yes, we've always known there were problems,

And yet you bring us more beers?

And you "Ratatouille" me from inside of a giant chef's hat?

And you can't measure our connection by blood levels.

And you could be arrested for breaking and entering.

And you don't know your own strength.

And you don't want me gone. I'm one of the good ones.

And you finally try and use your hall pass?

And you handed it in, and he told you.

And you just took a big one all over yourself.

And you say, "You already have."

And you should be thankful you've never seen me huffy.

And you told me to rot in hell?

And you were the one person

And you won't ever see me again.

And you would be a fool not to make him a captain.

And you would know that if you weren't a big, stinky dumb dumb

And you'd never seen so many dripping wet cousins

And you're my only snack source.

And you're still mad about that one time

And you're up to something.

And your award and your computer

And your CompStat numbers are terrible.

And your groin." He got that groin involved.

And your photo without collar stays.

And, also, according to Terry, I need to learn

And, more importantly, focus on who you did it with.

And, oh, my God! Is nine drink Amy a genius?

And, two: how dare you?

And, uh, he had turned out like you,

And...

Andy Cohen always knows where I am, okay?

Another surprise reveal.

Answer your butt. Answer your butt.

Any high five your heart desires.

Any promise of cash reward is, of course,

Anyhoo, I'm gonna keep this safe

Anyhoo, the point is,

Anyone can fake cry.

Anytime one of us is about to enter the room.

Anyway, Biscuit is also enrolled at the Bark Hyatt

Anyway, he's getting dressed now.

Anyway, how's the cool new PI gig going?

Anyway, I'm just gonna pop one of these right now

Anyway, Kevin refuses to budge from 36%.

Anyway, thanks for coming with me to the funeral.

Anyway, that's 10K.

Anyway, those videos are taken in the "man cave"

Anyway, toodaloo.

Anyway, with nobody watching me,

Anyway, you got to see the house.

Anyways, back to the eighth annual heist.

Anyways, I said I wanted to go home,

Anyways, I think that the magnet suit must've

Anyways, I'm sure our shower riddles were the same.

Anyways, once everyone arrives

Anyways, since Lyndon is our only actual suspect,

Anyways, yeah, I just figured

Anywhere near when it goes off.

Apparently it's "illegal to shoot them"

Are from a bachelorette party I went to,

Are needlessly interacting with civilians.

Are out there logging miles on the beat.

Are the state troopers actually your guys?

Are there any questions?

Are we doing this?

Are You Fo' Real Or Just Fo' Show?"

Are you happy now?

Are you okay with that, Lyndon?

Are you ready for the Halloween Heist?

Are you really all that squeamish?

Aren't I? Hard to say.

As a multiple gold medal winner.

As a seven year old on your phone?

As an emotional capper to this magical weekend?

As an epic chess move?

As are these:

As gas company employees named Mitch and Henry.

As it is a prequel.

As long as you two both shall live?

As many of you know,

As much as we would love

As my Color Blind Awareness ribbon.

As something of a father figure.

As soon as I knew what was going on.

As they shall be crowned

As to what could have happened...but didn't.

Assemble the cousins.

At "Goat Simulator" on my Switch.

At 12:45, the mail is delivered.

At a last minute vow renewal ceremony that will serve

At a working police precinct!

At all this week.

At everyone but himself.

At Kevin's request, I offered to reduce

At least you didn't have a "Sister Act" taken from you.

At One Police Plaza about our reform proposal.

At that Mervyn's in the sky.

At the Brooklyn Bridge. Is that meaningful?

At the core of American life.

At the same time, Cheddar will be taking a French lesson

At the top of their suitcases.

Austin Grant.

Away from the prison for a good reason.

Back to their home precincts.

Backup is already on the way.

Beakers. Ugh.

Because according to Kevin, I'm a liar.

Because goodbyes are inherently sad.

Because he looks so good in a uniform.

Because he'll be so excited to be your teammate.

Because he's in Sudan digging wells

Because I couldn't ignore what I was a part of anymore,

Because I feared for my life.

Because I had a criminal record.

Because I had no one to toast with,

Because I know you gave me a dummy tube.

Because I know you mo'.

Because I meant every last zero.

Because I sold it to you. You're Kazimir?

Because I solve all my crimes.

Because I was arrested in this precinct

Because I'll be dead and gone

Because I'll be honest with you,

Because I'm going on a little vacay,

Because if we don't,

Because it's, you know, birdwatching.

Because marching leads to rioting,

Because of our intimate shorthand.

Because of the lab tech's allergies.

Because of the pandemic,

Because she thought that she could do more good

Because soon I won't be here anymore...

Because the M word is just about the worst thing

Because they have 50% off

Because they'll call out sick, too.

Because they're not actually identical.

Because they've basically stopped kissing in front of us.

Because this is where it happened.

Because we could figure something else out.

Because we have created the COVID five.

Because we're gonna chew them up.

Because what we had was so great.

Because when Estelle hosts game night at the Senior Center,

Because you all think for someone to be happy,

Because you are a Boyle,

Because you both asked

Because you focus on all the wrong details.

Because you're a Godzilla man,

Because you're always so defensive.

Because, you know, some babies are just fussy

Becomes simple.

Beep borp. Zeep.

Before he got to an actual date.

Before I get taken to jail.

Before I pretended to be friends with him?

Before it was corrupted,

Before we do that. There's another surprise,

Begin!

Being a Boyle is about more than blood.

Being back at work has been...weird.

Belonging to the murderer.

Besides, the real point here is,

Best friends and partners. Right.

Bill, you can't sneak up on people like that.

Bone? Yeah.

Born in San Diego, yikes.

Both: Grab your binoculars. We're going birding.

Both: No!

Both: Oh, wow!

Both: Strangers and con men.

Both: We're Fancy Bedste Venners!

Both: Whoo!

Boyle bus tops out at 50.

Boyle, Larkin,

Boyles don't even get mad at each other.

Break into teams this year. You're lucky.

Bring him by so we could say hi.

Brooklyn Storage Solutions.

Brother of Nine Nine officer Michael Share.

Bruce Willis.

Bust out those banging bar mitzvah beats, bruv.

But a friend of mine told me something

But according to the pedometers,

But according to this,

But alas...'tis not to be.

But an officer did break one of his fingers.

But apparently there are several other groups

But Aquaman's trident has five prongs.

But as a realist, I can now see I haven't fixed a damn thing.

But before we go in there,

But between us, there was a rookie there,

But can you at least get us some backup?

But decided against it.

But did that convince you to give us more responsibility?

But don't worry, I under steeped the tea.

But Doug has changed.

But enough chit chat. Let's dig her up.

But even though there was no murder,

But get this, sir. You made the wrong call.

But go ahead and change your mind, or else.

But he always said, "You don't hug with your hands,

But he blamed himself for what happened to you

But he decided he loved him so much, it didn't matter.

But he just ignored me.

But he locked us in his office.

But he taught me

But he went to it anyway.

But he's actually a chiropractor.

But he's not lying, Terry will not be heisting.

But his true mistress is danger.

But honestly, you tell me not to do things so often,

But I actually don't pronounce the H in whoop.

But I actually have to stop you because I got to go.

But I assume that it's functional

But I believe that people still understand

But I bet Scully also ordered some relationship books

But I couldn't budge it.

But I deserve it.

But I did it

But I don't have a warrant,

But I don't know, I always thought

But I don't think that's why you came in this barn at all.

But I don't want to fight with you.

But I got to say, you're going to be sorry.

But I guess that was just a dumb fantasy...

But I gushed through my pit diapers.

But I have Mac for the next hour.

But I have to rewrite my whole presentation to be snappier,

But I just received an email from my contact

But I know that when things are hard,

But I play to win. Gah!

But I promise you, we are gonna get you justice.

But I solved part of the riddle.

But I suppose it can't hurt to try.

But I think it's gonna fail,

But I think this is the best one.

But I want everyone to know

But I want no part of it.

But I was ten moves ahead the whole time.

But I won't tell you which one or how much.

But I'm fine. I can handle this.

But I'm gonna go with my gut and say...

But I'm gonna need your hands free for this one.

But I'm not gonna show you anything

But I'm not one of the bad ones

But I'm sure it stops eventually.

But I'm telling you, something doesn't add up,

But I've always believed that true toughness

But if anyone can substance the crap out of this,

But if I do this,

But if I were you, I definitely would.

But if that's true, why did I leave work

But if we don't find those papers,

But if you think I'm just gonna sit around

But if you're here, then who's in our shower?

But in my mind I'm like,

But in potential suitors, I don't mind

But is unquestionably a mind freak.

But it didn't feel right,

But it is I who manipulated you.

But it looks like I have the upper hand now.

But it turns out, I love it here.

But it's definitely long enough.

But it's late and some of us have to work tomorrow.

But it's not all sad, right?

But let's talk about what happened

But look, you don't need Holt to succeed.

But luckily I have a surprise guest lined up.

But my parents got divorced when I was a kid,

But no one will buy my bugs or fossils.

But no, no, she had to escalate things.

But no, yeah, we're totally screwed.

But not as much as I will

But not over the will.

But not to worry, because it is currently worth

But now I kind of feel like it's a good idea.

But now it's gonna end with me

But now that all first responders

But now the world can stop their worrying

But of course, we now know that magic doesn't exist.

But one certainly cannot work a speed.

But only because I care about you.

But only if you agree. I don't understand.

But she's gonna be happy about it, because that Top Shot

But somehow I assaulted them?

But something just didn't sit right,

But something you said resonated.

But sometimes it helps to say our fears out loud.

But that doesn't mean you just give up.

But that was before I got screwed over.

But that wasn't in the police report

But that's not what this is about.

But that's our own separate thing, so you can ignore it.

But the dog's okay with that.

But the good news is, the commissioner has approved

But the important thing is we're on the same page.

But the lab said it would take a week.

But the one thing you couldn't figure out

But the other day, I was driving

But the perfect goodbye is still in our sights.

But the point is we're running out of time.

But the way you're doing it is kind of messed up.

But the window for that is 9 to 12 months.

But then at midnight when the time locks release,

But then I thought about your metaphor

But then Jake went to town with me.

But then they decided to use a subcontractor

But then they kept bothering me, saying,

But there wouldn't be anybody on it.

But there's no guarantee that it'll work.

But there's something I have to tell you, okay?

But this far more meaningful.

But this investigation must be done unofficially

But to be clear, all I want is to keep our city safe

But to be honest,

But to do that, I needed people to think I was gone.

But today's been a fiasco, so what the hell.

But wait, if everything was fake, what knocked me out?

But we both know you're grasping at straws.

But we can't give up.

But we had some good times along the way too.

But we let it happen.