Three's Company - Season 1 Edit

A going away party for one of the girls.

A little thou?

A loan approval doesn't depend on how you

A ma A man, a guy, asleep in the bathtub.

A man up there? In women's clothes?

A month.

A motel?

A receipt.

A terrific understanding of my problems.

A what?

Aah, ow, ow, ow...

Aah, the life you lead.

About a certain matter of, uh, sex.

About all that noise you were making last night.

About my father and that ruined it.

About that French food that I ate last night.

After all, who's the man around here?

After what they did to me, no, I’m not taking them any place.

Ah, ah see, they don't know that I gave it to them.

Ah, ha, hot Hot. [ Laughter ]

Ah, hold it. Hold it. Hold it.

Ah, I can't imagine anybody forgetting a thing like that.

Ah, more like a chimp. [ Laughter ]

Ah, this rubber bone I forgot to give it to Jack.

Ah, you've got a soft spot, too, right here.

Ah.

Ain't checked in yet.

All by itself did you?

All night, but I also find time to pick up part time jobs.

All right, captain Queeg,

All right, I will.

All right, no, with an explanation.

All right, shall we go into the kitchen?

All right, Stanley, how did you just happen to be peeping

All right, where is he?

All right, which one of us is going to go up and complain?

All right, you guys, knock it off!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. I'll invite them out to dinner.

All those young girls. You're not up to it.

Am i? Well, we just haven't seen each other much lately.

An advance out of him?

And And if you don't mind a stupid question, who are you?

And contented. [ Laughter ]

And green.

And he likes to read in there.

And he wanted to get rid of this litter of pups so I took one.

And I don't know nothing.

And I need some carrots.

And I was hoping to save that until I got married.

And if anybody else is in there, that's her problem.

And if you don't pay the rent, they're going to throw you out

And just to clinch it, tell them you've got

And Mrs. Roper.

And since it's harder for a woman to get a loan then a man,

And talk, and talk

And that did it?

And that goes for all of you!

And that's giving him the business?

And the muggings?

And the one thing I’m concerned about with now

And there was nothing else missing?

And they talk about women.

And think up a better story than leaving $300 lying around

And this is Jack Tripper.

And this is Janet.

And this way we have visiting rights.

And to keep all that hidden.

And wake you up? [ Laughter ]

And warn her.

And we hope you'll be very happy here, dear.

And what a darling way to give him to me

And what's there to talk over, Janet?

And when he goes to bed, he wants to sleep.

And when I couldn't do that, I got so nervous,

And you in the same room with him?

And you, uh, kept this cash hanging around loose?

And you?

And you're not stopping me either.

And, I’m not going to charge for it, either.

And, uh [ Laughter ]

Anniversary?

Any genius could have done it. My specialty is

Any luck?

Anyone for coffee?

Anything for me?

Anything you say.

Anyway, it's not my responsibility, is it?

Are the scrambled eggs ready yet?

Are you crazy? Moving in with two girls?

Are you gonna see a show or anything?

Are you illegitimate?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

Are you peeping at that blonde again?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you still sulking about those kids walking out on you?

Are you sure it was a man, not a woman?

Are you sure that you know what you're doing?

Are you sure you want to stay here with all the crimes

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Aren't they beautiful?

As a matter of fact, I often have.

As far as I’m concerned, she's already got it.

Aw, come on, Stanley.

Aw, come on, Stanley.

Bathroom?

Bathroom.

Because before I thought it was your underwear.

Because you already paid it.

Because your underpants have giraffes on them.

Before they throw parties like that.

Before you go sleep walking, Chrissy?

Besides maybe he just won't eat it.

Besides, I could see some little hairs on his chest,

Besides, I got to get home and make the cocoa for Omar Sharif.

Besides, this time I gave him the business.

Betray her you

Between Jack and us.

Boy, in that nightie she's really something.

Break up a few things, get rid of the TV,

Breakfast. You're just in time.

Burglars don't care about your sex life.

Burglars?

But first let's just talk it over.

But I just don't have $20.00 to throw away.

But I need to borrow some milk.

But if you gave it to them, they have to

But if you tell him that the money was stolen,

But it was a man.

But me and the wife are having a little disagreement

But not with added bone meal and marrow bone jelly.

But silly me, I can see they're ready for bed,

But the barmaid's not.

But then he'll know Jack's living here.

But underneath that little radio was an envelope

But you can't find them, but that's not quite

But you don't have to worry, Mrs. Roper,

But you move it around nicely.

But, uh, ooh, all that foul language.

By the way, how are those nice girls you room with?

Bye.

Call the police.

Can I tell them you're pregnant?

Can you think of a better way to dry them?

Careful, you're using up my hair there.

Charge for what?

Charlie, Bill, you stay outside, careful with those shot guns.

Chasing you around, you think you could get

Chocolate chip!

Chrissy

Chrissy is walking in her sleep again Come on!

Chrissy, Chrissy?

Chrissy, have you seen the puppy?

Chrissy, is that you?

Chrissy, is this the young man

Chrissy, the mailman is supposed to know who lives here.

Chrissy, the man is coming from the YMCA.

Chrissy, wait a minute!

Chrissy, what made, what made you think that, uh, Mrs. Roper

Chrissy, what's bothering you What's

Chrissy, where are you going?

Chrissy, would you bring Mrs. Roper some milk?

Chrissy, you're behaving very strangely.

Chrissy!

Chrissy! Chrissy!

Chrissy?

Chrissy?

Chrissy?

Chrissy?

Chrissy.

Chrissy.

Chrissy... Chrissy.

Come and get it.

Come back here.

Come in the kitchen and show me what you've got.

Come in, Mrs. Roper. [ Laughter ]

Come on in!

Come on, Kojak, why don't you just tell them why you came.

Come on, sit down.

Come on.

Coming to look at the apartment.

Coming up. [ Audience cat calls ]

Conduct your private life.

Could you get me a heaping tablespoon of milk?

Couldn't you knock?

Dear, dear. You know, sometimes I think it would be better

Department at my school.

Did you forget to lock the door?

Did you get another girl for her room?

Did you hear that?

Did you tell him about that French food I ate last night?

Do find it a trifle noisy in here, dear?

Do I have to?

Do me a favor will you? Give my wife the recipe.

Do what?

Do you always carry your pickled onions loose?

Do you have to walk around the house in your underwear?

Do you realize how long it takes me to save $300?

Do you remember the little things

Do you study cooking full time?

Do you think he's taking too much geritol?

Do you think you could do any better?

Do you want me to be? [ Laughter ]

Doesn't mean he's a crook. [ Laughter ]

Don't blow it for Chrissy.

Don't put yourself down, Stanley;

Don't say anything.

Don't spoil it. [ Laughter ]

Don't worry about me.

Don't you ever think of anything else?

Don't you have something to do?

Don't you have something to do?

Down at the art theater and I thought

Down, boy. [ Laughter ]

Easy. I just convinced him that nothing would happen

Eat your din Din.

Eggs madera fun chów, can you boil an egg?

Eighteen months?

Eleanor didn't like it either, that's why she left it behind.

Eleanor must hate me.

Eleanor, yeah, she had a boy.

Even so, you can't move in here.

Even though I go in there with ten impeccable references.

Eventually, uh, I’m hoping to open up a little restaurant

Ever since he guessed the "Star Spangled Banner" in seven notes.

Every time you think you think you're doing the right thing,

Except Charlie; he suddenly came into a lot of money.

Fake?

Fantastic.

First, let's just get one little thing straight.

Followed by "Charlie’s Angels."

For a glass of wine.

For a lot more money.

For me.

For people who can really appreciate high prices.

Fred, listen carefully, take the muzzle off of the Doberman.

Fred?

French.

From Fresno to Los Angeles.

From last night.

Get out of here.

Girlfriend? Look, look

Girls got to have some fun.

Give me the screwdriver. [ Laughter ]

Gladly. [ Laughter ]

Glass of that terrible punch and then everything went black.

Go cure your hiccups.

Go, now back to bed.

Good lord, is it morning?

Good morning, Chrissy.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good night, Chrissy.

Good night, honey.

Good night, Jack.

Good night, Jack.

Good night, Jack.

Good night, Janet.

Good night, John boy.

Good night, mom.

Good night, Mrs. Roper.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Good, go to sleep.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good. Okay.

Good. Then just pretend your mother is my mother and do it.

Goodnight. [ Laughter ]

Gorgeous.

Got nothing to do with me!

Grab your coats and let's get out of here.

Great.

Happy anniversary, Mr. Roper.

Hard working young man.

Has already put in an eight hour shift.

Have a drink.

Have another beer.

Have her put to sleep.

Have to what?

Have you seen some of these new shows?

He came in to steal the bathtub and fell asleep on the job.

He could fix this without a ladder Just fly up here.

He could sleep in our room.

He dictates too fast?

He didn't even read us our rights.

He dumped my dinner down the sink!

He dumped my dinner down the sink.

He is the boss!

He knows everything.

He said he wanted me for a friend.

He said I was in perfect shape.

He says it kills two birds with one stone.

He thinks He thinks queen Victoria was a swinger.

He touched my bosoms. [ Laughter ]

He wanted to know how much my father made for a living.

He was beating on the ceiling with a broom handle.

He was looking in our bedroom window and yawning.

He was wearing a girl's dressing gown, but he didn't fool me.

He won't believe us.

He won't even remember it's our anniversary.

He would be good protection for us around the house.

He would enjoy throwing us out.

He'll be back as soon as he figures it out.

He'll believe it.

He's housebroken. [ Laughter ]

He's in the bathroom.

He's kind of nice, though.

He's really flipped out.

He's trying to invite you out to dinner tonight?

He's trying to tell you someone's ringing the doorbell.

He's very good looking.

Heaping?

Heaven's no! And break your perfect record?

Helen, I’ll take care of you later.

Helen, lock that door.

Helen, stop him!

Helen.

Helen.

Hello, Jack.

Hello, mother.

Hello, mother.

Hello, mother.

Hello.

Her labor pains started and they rushed her off

Here it is and hurry up, I’m really starving.

Here you go.

Here, would you take a look at this dog food?

Here, you can put this on.

Here.

Here's your problem right here.

Hey Lar

Hey, don't you have any friends who can loan us some money?

Hey, don't you lock your door?

Hey, he doesn't have to know.

Hey, he won't do it You know?

Hey, she really likes you, you know.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, we can't let Roper eat dog food.

Hey, why don't we have a garage sale?

Hey, why don't you complain to his boss?

Hey, you can't go out like that.

Hey! That's a dog.

Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. [ Laughter ]

Hi

Hi, here you are.

Hi, Jack, come on in.

Hi, Jack!

Hi, Larry, we were just talking about you!

Hi, what a surprise.

Hi!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. [ Laughter ]

Hi. [ Laughter ]

Hi. How you doing there?

Hi. Tripper, Jack Tripper. I'm moving in here.

Him huh All I get from him is one grunt for yes,

Him in the same room with us?

Him? No, he's not the one.

His secretary's out sick and I’m substituting for her this week.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it. Hold it.

Honest Larry The used car salesman?

How 'bout you, what do you do?

How about a cookie?

How about that?

How about you, Janet, can you get a loan?

How come I opened the front door without a key?

How did that puppy get down there?

How did you do that?

How did you get him to change his mind?

How do you do?

How do you do?

How do you do?

How long has this been going on?

How long?

How many times have you pulled this stunt?

How much longer do I have to stay here?

How nice.

How nice.

How you doing?

How you doing? Nice to see you.

How?

How?

How'd they get away this time?

How'd they get loose?

How's father?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? I I don't know. I I Last thing I remember I had a

Huh? Oh, uh...

Hum?

Hum?

I I wanted to see what the weather was like.

I almost broke my neck on this garbage can.

I always Do you think I would take something

I always have trouble getting loans,

I always say it's little homey touches that make a home homier.

I am?

I beg your pardon?

I beg your pardon? Don't even sound like a girl.

I believe you.

I bet that put a damper on their news.

I better get him to bed while he's still moving.

I broke in your cab, but if you keep all the windows open,

I came with a friend who knew one of the gate crashers.

I can imagine what it must be like.

I can.

I can't afford any place else unless I can find someone

I can't argue with that. [ Laughter ]

I can't budge the window and it's raining.

I can't let you eat that, Mr. Roper.

I can't tell. I'm used to seeing it pregnant.

I can't, he's in jail.

I couldn't, I just I just couldn't live in the same house

I counted six places she's gone already.

I decided it was up to me, so here I am.

I did not fall asleep.

I didn't hear nothing, I didn't see nothing,

I didn't hear that, either.

I didn't know your teeth were giving you trouble, Jack.

I didn't mind all the music,

I didn't think you could hear it over your snoring.

I don't allow that.

I don't believe in biting off more than I can chew.

I don't care what you say Stanley, it's a him.

I don't care whose mother

I don't get a chance to practice much at the YMCA.

I don't get it.

I don't have any collateral.

I don't hear any water running.

I don't know how to do that quietly.

I don't know she can make it down those steps asleep.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know, Eleanor always did the cooking.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't remember.

I don't think the dog would mind.

I don't want another beer.

I don't want any explanation.

I don't want to be neighborly.

I don't want to go to bed, I want to watch "Name that Tune."

I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want you to leave this room.

I feel so sorry for the poor little thing.

I figure, what, $300.

I fixed that drain pipe.

I got news for you, Stanley, you've got competition.

I got to get to work, Janet.

I guess I’ll just to have to You know

I guess the little puppy will just have to go hungry.

I had to be the best in school, the best in bible class

I have a very light beard.

I have a very sensitive finger. [ Laughter ]

I have to catch the 10:45 bus back to Fresno.

I haven't spoken to a soul in this whole day.

I heard.

I hope it's all right.

I hope you got something good to eat.

I just came here to tell you

I just gave it to you yesterday.

I just opened my mouth and screamed.

I just think if he's coming to live here,

I just want to get to the bottom of this.

I just want to make his room more attractive.

I just want yes or no.

I knew it.

I know I work a six hour school day and I have to study

I know what I’m doing.

I know you Chrissy, you have a very low melting point.

I know, but Frank seemed so nice.

I know, now, just keep it down next time, okay?

I know. I know. You don't have to tell me.

I like it already.

I mean the stuff she feeds ain't fit for a dog.

I mean he'll give it to someone else.

I mean if he finds out I’m living with a guy

I mean they don't look real. [ Laughter ]

I mean they're always here somewhere

I mean those items are not exactly missing,

I mean, anybody can see that those aren't real.

I mean, burglars would think it was a trick and not come in.

I mean, everywhere you look at her, she's a girl.

I mean, he will have to get rid of it somehow

I mean, I know there's not a lot of you,

I mean, I think he'd make a terrific roommate.

I mean, just a little bit of sweet talk and you fall apart.

I mean, this is a college, not a monastery.

I mean, what did she expect me to do, hit a homerun?

I mean, you look wonderful. [ Laughter ]

I must of gone up and down that ladder 50 times today.

I must've been sleep walking again.

I need time to think it over. I'll take it.

I never made punch before. [Water running]

I promise I’ll pay back the loan.

I ran out of clean shorts.

I read it last night in bed.

I really appreciate this, Mr. Travis.

I saw him plain as anything.

I shall return, meanwhile, make yourselves beautiful for me.

I shall return, meanwhile, make yourselves beautiful for me.

I should've laid right into him.

I shouldn't have let him push me around, you know,

I shouldn't stick my nose into other people's doors.

I started walking in my sleep.

I still think that Why are you watering the table?

I sure hope Jack likes them.

I sure hope that baby doesn't keep them awake at night

I think I have some in my bed.

I think I’d better go down and stop him.

I think so.

I think that we should add up the pluses and the minuses.

I think your onions are overheating.

I thought he must be away since you let me have his room.

I thought I flushed that down the drain.

I thought so.

I thought you took it to bed with you.

I thought you'd never ask.

I thought you'd object.

I tried.

I wa On the other hand, I don't want to be unreasonable.

I waited until I saw Mrs. Roper pick it up.

I want my own bed.

I want my own bed.

I want you to talk to your roommate, Chrissy,

I was enjoying the view from the rear.

I was going to come down.

I was going to go shopping.

I was going to go to the beauty parlor.

I was going to have a walk on the beach, but I’m giving

I was just passing by and I thought I’d knock.

I was just telling the girls what attractive

I was up there. I know what I saw.

I was watching television with my eyes closed.

I wasn't going to.

I wasn't napping in my arm chair.

I wasn't napping in my arm chair.

I went straight for the pages with the corners turned down.

I wonder what game is going on up there?

I wonder what he's up to this time.

I wonder why they didn't take the TV.

I work in a pool?

I wouldn't have minded if I’d been invited.

I wouldn't live under your roof for all the tea

I, uh, this This Is horrible.

I'd rather take a bath. [ Laughter ]

I'd rather you ate off the table.

I'll be out here with you gals chin wagging.

I'll do it.

I'll do it.

I'll eat some of this French Uh whatever you call it.

I'll explain later, Mr. Roper.

I'll fix it later, unless the interior decorator here

I'll fix you something else.

I'll fix you something to eat.

I'll get it myself.

I'll get it.

I'll go as soon as my nails are dry.

I'll go in first, if they have any sense,

I'll go look anyway.

I'll have a couple of

I'll just dump this down the sink here.

I'll just put these in my room.

I'll pay you somehow Here.

I'll see ya, you old softie.

I'll see.

I'm afraid so, dear.

I'm as normal as Mr. Roper.

I'm awake and I fall down. [ Laughter ]

I'm caddying.

I'm Chrissy.

I'm Chrissy’s mother. I'm sleeping here tonight.

I'm cured My hiccups are gone.

I'm fine, thank you.

I'm glad to hear it.

I'm going to undress, I’m going to climb into my bed,

I'm going up there and I’m going to bounce him

I'm going.

I'm gonna stick with the stew.

I'm here to fix your doorbell.

I'm hoping to.

I'm just glad that you weren't hurt, that's all.

I'm kind of bushed, and I’d like to go to bed.

I'm not an interior decorator.

I'm not gonna lose any sleep over a stupid little puppy!

I'm not in the mood to experiment.

I'm not shouting!

I'm not?

I'm so glad you changed your mind.

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!

I'm sorry I misjudged you.

I'm sorry to bust in on you like this.

I'm sorry, if I can just get to the kitchen for a moment

I'm sorry, it's those four glasses of (hiccup) beer.

I'm sorry, Jack.

I'm sorry.

I'm starved.

I'm still saving.

I'm studying to be a chef at the L.A. Technical college.

I'm such an idiot.

I'm sure I will.

I'm taking a shower.

I'm telling you, Helen, it was a woman.

I'm the one who phoned in about the stolen money.

I'm the one who phoned in about the stolen money.

I've been hearing a lot of whimpering.

I've been walking behind you since you got off the bus.

I've come to look at your apartment.

I've got a sure fire method for curing this.

I've got a thought.

I've got an early class tomorrow Not tonight.

I've got something that will take your mind off of it.

I've had it.

I've kept the plug in it ever since.

I've only got one thing worth selling

If he fetches [ Laughter ]

If I can save $20 a

If I had any money I’d go to a hotel,

If it were my bags, you would have to carry them.

If my father were poor and starving,

If Roper catches you, he'll sell you to the burger joint

If she finds out I mean two girls living in an apartment

If the guys at the gym could see me now

If they would move out, I could rent that apartment

If we keep this dog, Mr. Roper will cancel our lease.

If we stick him in a broom closet he will feel at home.

If you must you must. [ Laughter ]

If you'd go away, I’d give a party.

If you're chicken, I’ll go.

In an envelope marked "rent."

In her nightgown.

In our underwear.

In return, like, uh, well, take them out to dinner.

In the morning and I saw her walking around half naked

In the street.

In this neighborhood lately.

In your father's church magazine.

Interesting doorbell.

Is he a friend of yours?

Is not gonna work here, man.

Is she really still asleep?

Is that all?

Is that where you're staying?

Is the bed big enough for the three of us?

Is the sleep walking, though.

Is there anything else missing?

Is when he gets a side order with his big mac.

Isn't he something?

Isn't that brilliant?

Isn't that good?

Isn't that right, Chrissy?

Isn't there, uh, another girl who lives with you?

It It'd be fun.

It is not the spare bed, it is my bed and I’m going back.

It started out as scrambled eggs.

It was a her. [ Laughter ]

It was her wedding reception and I ruined it.

It was in a big white envelope with the word "rent"

It was like reading a gourmet menu at a health farm.

It was probably just a misunderstanding.

It was probably just a misunderstanding.

It wasn't loose.

It'll brighten things up for him.

It'll give me a rest from your cooking.

It's a beef borgignon [ laughter ]

It's a gourmet dish.

It's a her.

It's a him.

It's a mistake anybody could make.

It's a pub just like they have in England.

It's a real load off my mind, believe me.

It's against his religion. [ Laughter ]

It's all right. It's all right. Son,

It's all you can do to keep the pot boiling down here.

It's all your fault, you know, you made the punch.

It's been a long time since you laid your finger on me.

It's for the puppy.

It's French!

It's going to be painful.

It's good for the teeth.

It's just You know how you are.

It's just a flesh wound, I’ll be fine.

It's Mr. Roper.

It's Mrs. Roper.

It's my favorite drink before going to bed.

It's not his dictation It's his hands.

It's not me, I never moved. [ Laughter ]

It's not my fault, Eleanor didn't leave the recipe.

It's only horse meat.

It's probably Larry trying to sell some used ear plugs.

It's right over here on this empty shelf.

It's such a relief to know that you have a man to protect you.

It's supposed to be in there.

It's the best I could do under these primitive conditions.

It's the cutest little anniversary present

It's the last time you'll be seeing her.

It's the only thing we have that'll fit you.

It's the pub for us again.

It's the Ropers.

It's the thought that counts.

It's time somebody's chimes were rung in this house.

It's time somebody's chimes were rung in this house.

It's wonderful.

Jack made it. It's beef borgignon.

Jack, as a student here all you have to prove is need.

Jack, Chrissy walked in her sleep last night

Jack, Jack, this is the '70s, for heaven's sake.

Jack, would you mind closing it?

Jack, you wouldn't be Jack Tripper?

Jack?

Jack.

Jack.

Janet

Janet and Eleanor, isn't it?

Janet just explained it to us,

Janet works in a flower shop, isn't that exciting?

Janet, I’ve just been in the bathroom.

Janet, that little puppy could not climb

Janet, there's a phone call for you.

Janet, you've got to do something.

Just in case. [ Laughter ]

Just stamping out Jack's name for the mailbox.

Just to leave the front door open.

Just what I always wanted.

Keep him out?