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Home > Bender Soundboard: Futurama - Seasons...
Ah Boo Hoo.
Ah, crap.
Ah, great, now you tell me.
Ah, no thanks. I'm good.
Ah, OK.
Ah, OK.
Ah, what's the point?
Ah, yes.
Ah.
Al Gore.
All I need is a lot of cash with a head wrapped around it.
Alright, shows over. I'm tired.
And give me a large diet malt liquor and a popcorn with extra motor oil.
And I'm one of those lazy homeless bums I've been hearing about.
And suddenly this is all about you.
Anyway I should get going?
Are you gonna help or not?
As a major Hollywood director, I'll be holding auditions tonight for my next movie.
Aye aye, captain.
Beat it.
Beat out the mood. It be bad, Boo.
Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Bender the offender doesn't need anybody.
Bender the offender doesn't need you.
Bite my red hot glowing ass.
Bite my shiny metal ass.
But I'll need 10 kegs of beer, a continuous tape of Louie Louie and a Regulation 2 story penny raid ladder.
Call me Bender.
Can we have some money?
Can't you see I'm using the toilet?
Could you point me to the free booze?
Definitely.
Die.
Dirty double crossing bastard.
Do I preach to you when you're a lion stone in the gutter?
Don't make me go upside your head.
Drinking wine is a sin.
Forget it. He's gay.
Fry.
Get off my back.
Give me your biggest, strongest, cheapest drink.
Goodnight losers.
Ha ha ha ha.
Had a Bender. I bend girders. That's all I'm programmed to do.
Happy birthday.
He's gay.
Hell no.
Hello peasants.
Hey who?
Hey, can't you see I'm using the toilet?
Hey, what kind of party is this?
Hey.
Hey.
Hmm. OK.
Hold on.
How about I work part time with the restaurant to pay off our debt?
How could I let this happen?
I am Bender.
I am Bender.
I believe you're mistaken.
I bend girders that’s all I’m programmed to do
I can quit any time I want
I can't go through the rest of my life like this.
I could bend the girder to any angle.
I don't believe in Santa Claus.
I don't feel good.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. Remember.
I don't like you and you don't like me.
I don't need to drink. I can quit anytime I want.
I don't understand.
I find it offensive.
I found religion.
I got a busted ass here. I don't see anyone kissing it.
I gotta bring my ass in for servicing.
I hate the people who love me and they hate me.
I just know these things.
I love you too.
I majored in bending.
I think I know where to get some.
I went to bending college.
I'll be holding auditions tonight for my next movie.
I'll stick with good old mineral oil.
I'm a big robot.
I'm a lost cause.
I'm Bender.
I'm Bender.
I'm boned.
I'm genuinely sick.
I'm gonna drink till I reboot.
I'm gonna pop over to the casino for the next 135 hours.
I'm in love.
I'm in tremendous pain here.
I'm sober and crazy and I don't know what I might do.
I'm trying to score here.
I've always wanted a pet.
I've been perusing your fortified wine list and I've selected the 71 hobos delight, the 57 Chateau Aparte, and the 66 Thunder shevitz.
I've got the perfect solution.
I've got wealth, fame and access to the depths of sleeves that those things bring.
I've got what they call gaydar.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop over to the casino for the next 135 hours.
Interesting.
Is arm.
It's me.
Jesus.
John Quincy adding machine.
Laughing 3
Leave me alone.
Let's commence preparations for rumbling.
Let's go get drunk.
Let's just pray I have the energy to get myself another beer.
Let's take a road trip to Tijuana and get some action.
Look at my head. It's OK look at my head. I got big old head and then hey Ho.
Me no speaking English.
Meet your future husband, Sal.
My name's Bender.
My tummy hurts.
No can do slams.
No way, pork pouch.
No, I'm just kidding. You're a joker.
No, of course not.
No, you shut up.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Not your business. Get off my back.
Now.
Oh my God I'm so excited. I wish I could wear my pants.
Oh my God.
Oh, you didn't understand?
Ohh can't I?
Ohh now I see, now I get it. Now the pieces are falling into place.
Ohh what a beautiful morning. Oh what a beautiful day.
Ohh yeah.
Ohh yeah.
Ohh, I don't like the sound of that.
Ohh.
Ohh.
OK.
Or what?
Pass.
Please insert liquor.
Poorly.
Quit touching my stuff.
Right. I.
Sal.
Shut up and drag me to work.
Sir. Yes, Sir. Sir.
So beat it.
So on suckers.
Sometimes a guy gets lonely.
Song coffin stuffers.
Sounds pleasant.
Stream on skin tube.
Suit yourself, skin bag.
Sure thing, pal.
Tan, tan, tan.
That's all I'm programmed to do.
That's not covered by my insurance fraud.
The lovable Rascal.
The only reason you get all the guys is because you dress like a tramp.
The recall notice says it could burst into flame in a low speed collision.
Then then then, then then then then then then then.
There's no booze and only one hooker.
This is Sunset Squad bike Bender Tron 4000.
Time for this robot to get back to work.
True.
Uh, no.
Um.
Unless I'm getting interference from a gay weather balloon.
Up yours, bimbo.
Well, I don't believe in Santa Claus.
Well, I don't feel as bad as you look.
Well, that doesn't sound so bad.
Well, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
Well, you can go right for all I care.
What am I doing? What have I become?
What am I gonna do?
What job do I move up to?
What kind of party is this?
What?
What?
What's your serial number?
Whatever it takes to shut your yapper.
Who invited you?
Whoa, Mama.
Why don't you just come move in with me?
Why not?
Woohoo, I'm popular.
Would you kindly shut your noise hole?
Wow, I don't know.
Wow.
Yeah, and the crowd goes wild.
Yeah, I've had it up there here with this place.
Yeah, no need to worry.
Yeah, yeah. Amen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep, he's gay.
Yes, Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir.
Yes.
You ain't winning no beauty pageants, lady.
You bastard.
You just lost $5.
You know, the lovable Rascal.
You people sicken me.
You shut up.
You think you're so hot.
You'll be getting a call from my lawyer.
You'll kill my father, and now you've come back for me.
You'll never amount to anything.
You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything.
You're all losers.
You're my friend.
You're one dynamite lady.
You're out of here, lady.
You're still working at jack-in-the-box.
You're the kind of guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn't want to see the sex ataria.
Your Mama.
011001.
1000101010101.