Derry Girls - Season 1 Edit

A beloved animal returning from the dead. Now, we've seen this before.

A cream horn?

A French fella. That's what I want to do.

A half load goes against everything I stand for.

A new school can seem like a very scary place.

A reading from the Holy Gospel.

A real life lesbian walks among us.

A safe and stable environment

A troubled little corner in the northwest of Ireland.

A very serious uniform violation, by the way.

About the fact that they hate us so much.

Absolutely brilliant.

Absolutely no chance.

Absolutely not. Now, I think you all owe Tina an apology, don't you?

Absolutely.

According to my ma, we're actually quite poor.

Ach, Da, not the bingo thing still.

Ach, don't talk to me.

Ach, Erin, if she wants to ride James, just let her ride James.

Ach, Fionnula. What about you? I thought I could smell vinegar.

Ach, if she's not into walls, she's not into walls, Erin, love.

Ach, Jenny, mull this over.

Ach, some of them are, right?

Ach, well, I'm delighted for you, Colm.

Actually, on second thoughts, I think this party would be really great for Katya.

Actually, she was known to be a bit light fingered.

Actually, she's our dick.

After school. We'll beat you up after school.

Again, no gay thing.

Ah ha! And she also fancies James.

Ah no, you won't, Erin.

Ah, come on. He's a shit dog.

Ah, don't mind me. Just grabbing a knife.

Ah, Emmett's the name.

Ah, maybe just as well, love.

Ah, we're talking eight, half eight,

Ah! That really hurt.

Ah! You touch them, you buy them.

All because of us.

All because she's gay.

All I'm saying is I find it difficult to believe.

All ranting and raving and getting himself all worked up,

All right, Joe, if you just follow me.

All right, shift your shirt holes, let's go.

All right?

All the cracker stuff we have.

All the way in step aerobics?

Almost 23 hours to go.

Alongside pictures of famous people who look a bit like animals.

Already discussed this eventuality, and the thing is, well,

Already? They've started already?

Although I'm not happy about this thing with me da,

Although, as I say, we're talking an inch...

Always the lady.

Am I permitted to use the staff ones?

An apple turnover and a cream horn.

An effeminate fella, but a fella all the same.

And all because of that miniature motherfucker.

And also sexy.

And answer me this. Is he a ride?

And anyway, you're not alone. We're all going to fail.

And apparently she's a dirty tramp.

And as quietly as possible.

And at 2.25 a burger, looking is all we'll be doing.

And because we're in love with each other.

And do you know who else doesn't think you're a dick?

And for future reference, if any of you invite me to a study sleepover again,

And he led us to the chapel.

And how soon am I gonna meet this fella?

And human hands and other human qualities,

And I really like the fact she glows in the dark.

And I remember saying to myself, says I,

And I says to him, says I, "Well, I can't be sure now,

And I take it that's what the camp shirts are in aid of.

And I want 12 chicken nuggets, a small battered hot dog,

And I want my baking tray back!

And I'm 45 minutes talking about his new shoelaces.

And I'm desperate enough to accept that invitation,

And I'm just more... creative.

And I'm nervous about leaving these two, what with the day that's on it.

And I'm worried it might affect my performance.

And I've seen them, people.

And if anybody's influenced my writing, it is...

And if I was having an illicit rendezvous with my mistress,

And it's about these two lads, they wear these cracking suits,

And it's come to my attention

And it's not looking great.

And just for the record back there, I was being an Australian tourist, okay?

And maybe it's there.

And my other girl, my younger girl,

And my tits look amazing in that top.

And neither do I.

And nobody really has any respect for you.

And open that washing basket of yours...

And out of everyone,

And rock about shooting people and eating cheeseburgers.

And scalded the legs of herself.

And she's also a bit, you know, "I hate walls", and she's just not...

And sometimes all I really want...

And that is a concern.

And that thing she said about my letters being boring,

And that's when the smaller fella,

And that's who you were winking at in mass?

And the other night, right, and this is no word of a lie, she rang me from the bath.

And the plot thickens.

And the rest of you all fill it back in.

And the school is like the soil:

And the taller fella...

And then buried him in our back garden, so probably not.

And then he says to me, the slightly taller fella does,

And then it all got too real,

And then they blew it up.

And there I am, shackled to the thermostatic valve

And there they both were, large as life.

And there was just this instant connection, like a spark.

And there's a religious element.

And they're right.

And thirdly, all night, wee Ukrainian fellas

And this is only the beginning. The Derry Journal are on their way round.

And today we welcome some very special guests:

And up I got to open it.

And we'll show you up for the amateurs that you are.

And what in the name of God are you doing, seasoning it?

And what's more important, Clare?

And when Erin finished reading me her poetry,

And when he does, he'll realize that Toto has not, in fact, been resurrected.

And while I can't say it won't be a struggle, I'm willing to try.

And would you all just stop looking at me?

And you know, it became more challenging...

And you pull the weer wooden woman apart...

And you stole from Fionnula, of all people.

And you, Erin.

And you. Give that here.

And you're straight back out there, winking away.

And your name came up, and, there you have it.

And your service has been nothing short of appalling. Your attitude is worse.

Any other way because he's just such a dick.

Anyway, he says to me, says he...

Anyway, I'll not be keeping you.

Apart from anything else, it's dangerous.

Apart from anything, it has eight bedrooms and a chocolate fountain.

Apparently, sex uses up a lot of energy.

Apparently, you guys threatened one of the new girls.

Are you sure you didn't just...

Are you talking about Russian dolls?

Are you throwing alcohol on it? Are you actually throwing alcohol on it?

As far as they're concerned, their mother was perfect.

As I said on the phone,

As if, like. There'd be more chance of it being you.

As in, "We're going to beat you up," but, like, in a jokey way.

As soon as we can.

As though we're their fucking prey.

Assholes!

At least 12 people are thought to be dead and many more wounded.

At least your ma was all right with Dog Piss Gate.

At that chippy, it's every man for himself on a Friday night.

At that stupid summer scheme you insisted we send her on.

Australian. And I happen to think that my accent was flawless.

Avon.

Avon.

Avon.

Aye, 'cause that's why it wasn't believable, dickweed.

Aye, and she'll be back from Eucharist soon, so get a shift on.

Aye, blame the wain, big man.

Aye, come on, let's pack it up. They tied you to the heater.

Aye, don't be such a dick, James.

Aye, everybody knows you have to hang on to the wee docket.

Aye, good one.

Aye, he can cope.

Aye, I can't see that, either, to be honest, Clare.

Aye, I think we might be as well.

Aye, I thought as much.

Aye, it was freezing cold earlier, that's true.

Aye, nightmare, so it is. Da, do us a bacon butty, would you?

Aye, no pressure. I'll be over here if you need me.

Aye, so you are, Clare(!)

Aye, so's me ma.

Aye, that is a bit fucked up, in fairness.

Aye, this does not look good.

Aye.

Aye.

Aye.

Aye. And some of the bedrooms,

Aye. Nightmare altogether.

Aye. You shouldn't swear, Michelle, because when you swear,

Back door. Back door. Back door.

Be good conversation practice as well, you know, for the orals.

Bears are particularly vicious.

Beat me up.

Beautiful. And another one.

Because at the end of the day, we're all... humans.

Because believe me, girls,

Because here she is.

Because I can't concentrate, because... Oh my God, the noise!

Because I just told you it was my surname.

Because I'm a beacon of truth, Erin.

Because it is the question we all want the answer to, isn't it?

Because let's face it, we've been there before.

Because someone needs to drive and you've been suspended, again.

Because sometimes I feel like I've gone through the fucking looking glass.

Because this place is like a fucking maze.

Because we've been married for 17 years, Joe.

Because, ah, sure, there's all sorts wafting about in their neck of the woods.

Before I dismiss you for the weekend, a few announcements.

Before this goes any further,

Before we talk to this priest, there is something you need to know.

Before you know it, you'll be faking your own death, assuming a new identity.

Big fan of the fandango.

Big Mandy? Big Mandy is your sister?

Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does.

Bit of perspective, maybe, Clare.

Blessed art thou and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Blessed Saint Anthony, the grace of God has made you

Bomb! He has a bomb! Listen, Mammy!

Bonbon?

Bonjour. Tout le monde. Comment allez vous?

Boo!

Boob y.

Brigitte Gallagher, who works in the post office?

Brilliant!

But at the same time, what's done is done, so let's crack on.

But could we not, you know, get jobs?

But do you think if I told him I had an incendiary device down my knickers,

But Erin, Murder She Wrote's on tonight.

But first let us pray. Please, join hands.

But great evening all the same, Jenny. You're a credit to yourself.

But he's a fella.

But I can't find the person I'm supposed to be up to it with,

But I can't stress the seriousness of my situation.

But I choose to rise above it.

But I have my doubts.

But I have to set an example.

But I think Katya is planning on taking James' virginity tonight.

But I think that's why I wrote the story,

But I think they're saying you should leave Gerry.

But I think your father has just driven through a police barricade.

But I'm not enjoying this bomb.

But if I ever get wind of something like this happening again...

But if she does, the show must go on.

But if they're letting their wains divorce them...

But if you're not afraid of the challenge, then neither am I.

But it's out of control now, Mary.

But let's take one problem at a time, shall we?

But mainly the fact that he doesn't think I'm a dick,

But maybe if you took off the balaclavas."

But me and Martin are both working nights,

But mostly because it turns out he had a connection

But now, well, now he is somebody.

But part of my role as prefect is welcoming the first year students.

But please, don't worry yourselves too much about the whole civil war,

But she can't do James. He's not a pastime or a plaything.

But she's my dick.

But simply as human, with human hearts and human heads

But sometimes we want to believe in something so much

But spending the rest of your life with a fugitive is less of a concern?

But still, it could just as easily have been...

But sure I'll not get over the bridge at this rate.

But surely you're not actually planning on leaving us, are you?

But that doesn't mean we shouldn't have things.

But that's censorship.

But the awkward bastards made me go the long way.

But the ginger element... well, I've sort of got a borderline phobia.

But the good news is you're free. We're free.

But there was a cheetah on the beach one time.

But there were concerns for his safety because, unfortunately,

But this is dangerous, Joe. He is dangerous.

But try to think of it this way.

But we're not in England, are we, Michelle?

But will you ever get your self respect back, Clare?

But you have my surname written on it there.

But you'd specifically like me to go. I mean, just so we're clear.

Buying cream horns for his fancy woman.

By Jesus, they were absolutely desperate to borrow the van.

Calm down, James.

Calm down?

Can I ask why you stole the noticeboard?

Can I come away with you, please?

Can I have your attention, please, ladies? Get down. Get down.

Can I p please get one... one fish supper and one cowboy special,

Can I? Can I?

Can we please talk about something else? I'm half torn. This is wrecking my head.

Can you believe him?

Can you blame her?

Can you please stop crying in my face for five fucking minutes, James?

Can you remember what you were doing, what you were talking about?

Can't complain.

Can't fail, Mammy.

Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident.

Chips, obviously.

Christ, he's a dose.

Christ, I feel a bit bokey.

Christ, I feel sick.

Christ, I'm sweating here.

Christ, this is penance.

Christ, what possessed you, Michelle?

Christ.

Christ.

Christ's sake. Is this bastard living with us now?

Christ's sake. What is it with you and Africa?

Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport,

Clive is a wee Prod from east Belfast.

Clive is absolutely shitting himself.

Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians.

Clive.

Colm, they didn't "borrow" your van.

Come here, boy! Here, boy!

Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here!

Come here, love.

Come in, Father.

Come on, Artem. You want me and I want you.

Come on, Clare.

Come on, Clare.

Come on, come on, come on to fuck!

Come on, Erin.

Come on, Katya, love. Let's talk about this, please.

Come on, people! The jig is up!

Come on.

Come, come see the place where the Lord lay.

Complicated relationship with my hometown.

Concentrate on different shoes from around the world, sitting alongside

Cool poster.

Corner.

Cos it's Baltic.

Cos that's me standing beside her.

Could I just have a quick chat?

Could you put it another way? I didn't understand a word of that.

Could you put me through to Sister Thomas, please?

Coward!

Crass.

Cream finger, it was. Apple turnover and a cream finger.

Cream horn, Shay said.

Crossing the border has become somewhat of a priority for me.

Da, for God's sake, will you turn that down?

David Donnelly has just come in. David's here.

David Donnelly.

Dead soon. Really soon.

Deadly serious.

Deck of cards can't actually predict your future.

Delusional personality disorder.

Dennis gave me free pick and mix, bonbons and all. No fucking about, like.

Dick.

Did I not ban this one?

Did she nick the noticeboard from the chip shop, Clare?

Did you actually want me to do the dramatic pause?

Did you ask about the trust fund?

Did you go for the economy seven in the end, Colm?

Did you hear that?

Did you just call the Orange Order "cracker"?

Did you just wink?

Did you kill that wee nun, girls?

Did you not put him in there, Aunt Mary?

Didn't even manage my Chinese.

Didn't wanna put you in this position.

Different standards, you see, Mary.

Dip into your trust fund? Of course, no bother at all.

Directly before the weeping,

Dirty bastards.

Disease? Poverty?

Disgusting and disgraceful.

Do I have a trust fund, Mary?

Do I have to accept their apology, Sister?

Do I make myself clear?

Do not ask me again.

Do not be starting at me about darks, Mary.

Do you guys have any questions for me?

Do you hear me, Malarkey?

Do you hear this? This'll be someone she met

Do you know what, Jenny?

Do you know what? Fine.

Do you mind telling us what you're doing in there?

Do you mind the time where her and her brother got hijacked?

Do you mind? I'm trying to come out here.

Do you not think there's an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays?

Do you really think they're going to make us sit an exam after seeing this?

Do you remember the whole "us being in grave danger" thing Sarah mentioned?

Do you think Big Mandy looks more schizo than usual?

Do you think five bags will be enough?

Do you think I'd do anything to put my family at risk?

Do you think we should knock them about a bit?

Do you want to sponsor me, Dennis?

Does anybody else have any thoughts on the whole

Does anybody have 10p? I'm ringing Childline.

Does anyone have any questions about

Does he just really enjoy wells, aye?

Does he?

Does this mean they can't get to school?

Doesn't have to be.

Doesn't that dog look like Toto?

Doing the big shop in would be the best place for it, really.

Don't blame me.

Don't come in here!

Don't forget, entries for our searching for myself

Don't look at me like that, Erin. You'll get your two pound back.

Don't panic? Don't panic, James?

Don't say "knickers" in front of your father. He can't cope.

Don't suppose you could take them with you?

Don't tell me Charlene Kavanagh is going.

Don't worry about James. James doesn't count.

Don't you mention that lowdown, deceitful, cheating old witch!

Don't you see?

Don't you think it's so freaky?

Dose.

Eloping with your father to a flip flop shop in Hawaii...

Emergency services are urging anyone with medical

Enter.

Er, look, I'm sorry. Do you absolutely need it?

Erin Quinn and her friends are handing out their magazine.

Erin Quinn, Orla McCool, Clare Devlin,

Erin, I told you not to let him watch that Sleeping with the Enemy.

Erin, stop hogging the Russian.

Erin, tell her!

Erin, what in God's name...

Erin! It's me.

Even so, I need her to put a word in with that big Russian ride.

Even the smell of it makes me feel physically sick.

Even though it sort of turns my stomach.

Everybody knows everybody,

Everyone look away.

Everyone remain seated.

Everyone was shitting it about sending him to the boys' school.

Everyone's buzzing to find out who she is.

Everything makes you nervous, Clare. You're a walking cack attack.

Exactly.

Exactly. My nerves are wrecked.

Excellent.

Excuse me, please.

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me, everybody. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Yeah.

Fairly sure.

False alarm there, Saint Anthony. Sorry for troubling you.

Father Conway showed us a video. There's this one wee fella, Kamal.

Father, Son, Holy Ghost...

Fecking weirdo.

Fifteen minutes in this stand up.

Financial gain, that's what.

Fine, stick up for the wee lesbian.

Fine! But we both know you're gonna sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. I'll ask her myself.

Fine. In that case, I'll just come and watch.

Fine. Puff off. I don't need you. I don't need any of you.

Fine. So, that leaves dog walking and washing a car.

Fionnula was out the back, cashing up.

Fionnula will be absolutely thrilled.

Fionnula!

First, she comes on to James here.

Flaunting it in our faces like this.

Flawless!

Focus, girls.

For Christ's sake, Clare. You've basically skipped lunch.

For God's sake, Orla, you're gonna make yourself boke.

For God's sake!

For I was halfway through me dinner.

For me, there's a good fella.

For the love of God,

For the love of God, Sarah, no diversions, please.

For the love of God.

Foreigners fucking love the Giant's Causeway.

Found some, Mary.

From her kitchen, from her bedroom...

Fuck me, not the Africans again.

Fuck me.

Fuck off, dickweed.

Fuck off, toots.

Fuck off.

Fuck this.

Fuck. We're not like Jenny Joyce.

Fuck's sake.

Further. It's more like from here to Ballybofey.

Gave you the Intrepid, did he?

Gemma Sharkey went cordless and she's like a new woman now, Gerry.

Genuine question. Why can't you just be fucking normal?

Gerry should say something.

Gerry, pass me the wooden spoon.

Gerry! Gerry!

Gerry's name is on the house, not my da's,

Gerry's never been suspended and he's a Catholic.

Get down! Everybody get down!

Get him out of here.

Get out!

Get that.

Get them to do an interview.

Giant's Causeway, probably.

Gig, Clare, it's called a "gig", and I have to go. He invited me specifically.

Girls, I really don't feel great. I feel sort of shaky.

Girls, I'm not here to make any judgments.

Give it here.

Give us a hand here, Gerry. This'll not close.

Go on, then.

God is inviting us to be his witness.

God, aye, so it does.

God, but he has great teeth, doesn't he?

God, I've never seen you so fired up.

God, it's all so mortifying.

God, this is really hard.

Golf clubs.

Good for you, Mr. Joe.

Good morning, team!

Good one, Geldoff.

Good. Grand. Not too bad.

Grand. I'll meet you after school and you can beat me up.

Granda says we're not allowed to speak to her.

Great hair. Very bold.

Great volume. Lovely movement.

Great work, folks.

Great.

Great.

Grow up, Michelle.

Guess who's been made editor of the school magazine!

Guys, all we can do is try our best.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among...

Has anyone seen Artem?

Has his sudden, tragic death interrupted your studies?

Has to be smirking about, but that's by the by.

Have been coming up and giving her money they "owe" her.

Have to give all my money to Kamal.

Have you any news, Da?

Have you got a Union Jack splashed across your tits, Clare?

Have you nothing to say about this, you slack southern shite?

Have you seen the one Jenny Joyce got, the fella?

He also said your dead pet had been fucking resurrected, so, pinch of salt.

He can vouch for me.

He doesn't say much.

He has... risen.

He is such a fucking homophobe.

He is traumatized, Gerry.

He really does, but... now, tell the truth.

He says this like it's something to be proud of.

He says, "Step aside. We're armed."

He swore on it. Said he saw it being bagged up.

He to start at Christian Brother Boys,

He was really good looking, so you've nothing to worry about.

He, like, runs through red lights and takes corners on two wheels. It is class!

He'd barely had those shoelaces a week, John.

He'll realize that Toto is just dead. Very, very dead.

He'll take a steak and kidney pie.

He's a fella, Jenny.

He's a priest, like.

He's a wee Ethiopian fella from Ballybofey, Dennis.

He's also a prick, but that's by the by.

He's an artist.

He's an awful prick.

He's definitely a contender.

He's eating his lunch.

He's English, Orla. That's the way they talk.

He's in a better place now.

He's looking for the keys to the van,

He's my Auntie Kathy's wain. I told you about my Auntie Kathy.

He's only ten, and every morning he walks 25 miles to the nearest well.

Health and Safety gone mad, Deidre.

Hear me out.

Hear what?

Hello, children.

Hello, Father.

Hello, Maeve.

Her bloody friends across the barricades think.

Her family probably don't even own a camera.

Her instructor says she's a natural.

Her nephew brought her this pen back from New Jersey.

Here you are.

Here, boy!

Here, boy! Here, boy!

Here, boy! Here, boy!

Here, Daddy, get a whiff of that.

Here, give me your hand.

Here's what I find strange.

Hey, boy. It's dinner she invited you round for, not an orgy.

Hey, what do you think you're playing at? Where's your blazer?

Hey! Let me look at that. You call that clean, do you?

Hi, do you have a playlist for tonight, then?

Hi, Erin.

Hi, everyone. This is Artem.

Hi, girls.

Hi, guys.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Michelle's cousin, James.

His name was Toto, Aunt Sarah.

Hmm.

Hmm. It's much how I imagine.

Hobnob? Custard cream? Wagon Wheel?

Hold on. Stall the fucking ball.

Holy God!

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Hope to God it's not the gay thing you're offended by.

Hope you don't mind me saying this, but you have a cracking clavicle.

Hopefully she won't, you know, die,

Horns, fingers. Who cares?

How am I gonna break it to him?

How are you?

How can I have peace, Erin? Get back inside.

How can you cheat at bingo, Granda?

How could he bring another woman into this house?

How could he bring her here,

How could I have known?

How could you have lost the wee docket, Gerry?

How could you not want anything? It's lovely.

How dare you? I am poor Ukrainian, so I must be prostitute.

How do I know that's your surname?

How do I know you're not just telling me that?

How do you stay in such good shape?

How is it still sticky?

How long does it take to defuse a fecking bomb?

How long does this fast last?

How many times? It's just an ad. She's not a real person.

How so?

How the hell do you explain that?

How?

How's it going, Colm?

Huge. Massive.

Hurry up.

I admit that. But I didn't do anything. It was Michelle.

I also don't understand what connection spatulas, golf clubs or stilts

I also have a question, pretty boy.

I am "a" racist, patronizing bitch.

I am finished talking.

I am going to ram that so far up your ass!

I am prostitute?

I am psychic, Erin.

I am trying to concentrate here, Erin.

I am, after all, a child of the crossfire,

I begged my ma to let me have one, but she said we've no room

I begged the Brits to let me take my chances,

I can and I will.

I can handle it.

I can't accept that.

I can't be doing with the Board of Governors getting

I can't be doing with the wee clock.

I can't believe you did that, Daddy.

I can't convince that lot to come.

I can't explain.

I can't find the boys' toilets anywhere.

I can't get my head around it.

I can't handle it. I think I'm going to crack.

I can't help that. It's the way God made me.

I can't let my heart rate drop, I'm afraid, Erin.

I can't understand. Come on!

I can't, Sarah. I physically can't.

I cannot actually believe this.

I could do without the details, Da.

I could do without the quoting it from memory.

I could grow to fancy him, I suppose.

I could have told you that years ago, and I'm not psychic.

I couldn't handle it, and I cracked.

I decided, but I'm afraid to say what I've decided.

I definitely didn't see her smirk. I was lying, so...

I did a course. I got a certificate.

I did not know about this.

I didn't actually know that.

I didn't meet him at Friends Across the Barricades.

I didn't think you get much Japanese tourism in Derry, do you?

I do not accept that.

I don't accept it.

I don't care where you met him. You're not to see him again, understood?

I don't even know the man anymore.

I don't know how he does it.

I don't know what to believe.

I don't know. I just find her a bit,

I don't know. I'll find out.

I don't like to use that word, Sister, but it's so hard to describe James

I don't mind at all.

I don't mind, Ciaran.

I don't read your letters, Erin.

I don't really give a flying fuck.

I don't see why that useless drip you call a husband has to be coming.

I don't smoke either.

I don't think I did.

I don't think that does settle it, actually, Joe.

I don't think that is the law.

I don't think they accept Catholics, Orla,

I don't think you're a dick, James.

I don't understand it.

I don't wanna get involved. I'm sorry.

I don't wanna go back in.

I don't want to be in that boat.

I don't want to report you guys.

I don't want you to think of me as a priest. Think of me as a friend.

I don't want you to touch me.

I feel awful.

I find that very strange as well, Mrs. Quinn. Very strange indeed.

I found condoms in her bag, actual condoms.

I got a bit of bad news today.

I got too scared, but now, well, you've made me realise it's all OK.

I had to. I'm doing my book report on it.

I hate to be a health and safety stickler,

I have a set of balls, thank you very much.

I have an appointment in Tropicana at 12:00.

I have had it with you, James, and your picking,

I have judo on Friday. Don't like to miss it.

I have locked my mother in a cage designed by her own art.

I have no interest in David Donnelly's spazzmo band.

I have nothing against Protestants.

I have one.

I have to give it to you, that is a cracker blow dry.

I have to know if they catch him.

I have turned it down. It's at zero.

I haven't really been able to focus.

I hope you're happy, Erin.

I hope your father appreciates the fact that I was the one

I just can't get my head around it.

I just don't trust her, okay?

I just don't understand what they eat.

I just have to... I'll be right back.

I just like melting stuff.

I just saw it, too!

I just think it might be time I moved on, friendship wise.

I just wanna go home, but she won't let me leave.

I just wanna let you know, Maeve,

I just want my old friend back.

I just want to say,

I know how much you want to practice the shit out of the past participle.

I know how much you've dreamed of seeing the Arc de...

I know I've been guilty of that in the past.

I know what I saw.

I know what it looks like.

I know, but I'm bored now,

I know, but it's stunning of me.

I know. I'm sorry. It all just made me a bit nervous.

I like him. I think he's a character.

I like his shiny hair.

I mean no offense, son.

I mean you only turn 33 once.

I mean, a bit because of us.

I mean, does God exist?

I mean, does he exist?

I mean, for God's sake, Erin, what happened to Shoes of the World?

I mean, he's my nephew, and even I find it hard to get past.

I mean, I know I shouldn't say this about my own brother, but by Christ

I mean, I know you're desperate, James, but paying for it?

I mean, I'm not sure what Our Lady of the Sorrows

I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing.

I mean, it's not ideal, but this is more of a pickle.

I mean, it's uncanny.

I mean, maybe it's just his time.

I mean, that sort of makes sense.

I mean, we're all gonna have sex at some point.

I mean, what if it were me?

I mean, what next? Will I catch her trying on my knickers?

I must... I must give.

I need you all to listen very carefully.

I never really looked at this before. I assumed they were all dead cat posters.

I once saw her punch a Rottweiler, Michelle.

I ordered a tea. You brought me a Coke, and that's not acceptable.

I organize, how you say it, whip round.

I owe.

I promise, Sister.

I really didn't wanna have to do this.

I really do. I'm not gonna lie.

I really think she's playing some sort of twisted psychological mind game here.

I really thought you'd understand.

I said no, Sarah.

I said this trip would place us in grave danger, Erin.

I said we needed a miracle, and behold, we have been given one.

I saw with my own eyes.

I say we need five, to be safe. Do you not think, Da?

I see.

I see.

I see. And after that,

I seem to have lost my appetite.

I should be allowed to express my individuality.

I should have access to a lavatory. What about my civil rights?

I shouldn't even have to sit the exam,

I showed you "the walls".

I showed you the city walls, and they are nothing short of spectacular.

I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me

I sneaked in, yanked it off the wall and away I went.

I support gays, even though I myself am not actually gay.

I suppose it does a bit, yeah.

I suppose you do look a bit like this man.

I swear, if you say "motherfucker" one more time...

I take it that means I don't have one.

I tell you, girls, the double glazing, it'll change your life.

I telt you, Gerry. I'm gonna give them a whole fiver?

I think he's saying he wants to dig up the wee dead dog's grave.

I think I know what happened to the wee docket.

I think I put it in the suitcase.

I think I'll hop in with Mr. Quinn, if that's okay.

I think I'm gonna boke.

I think it might be, yeah.

I think Katya is planning on having sex with you, tonight.

I think my blood sugar is dangerously low.

I think other people are onto this thing, girls.

I think she might have a bit of a problem.

I think something's been lost in translation here, boy.

I think what's happened here is, now correct me if I'm wrong,

I think you know who I am.

I think you should leave.

I thought I'd lost him. Well, you have lost him.

I thought she was going to go fucking nuts.

I thought to myself, "Jesus, it's Granny Pat.

I thought you might be best suited to that, Clare, because...

I thought you said fortune telling was medieval.

I thought you says the hot water settings were a minefield.

I thought... spatulas.

I told you to look after that tent.

I turn to you this day with childlike love and deep confidence...

I untied him for his toilet privileges half an hour ago

I vote we run away and leave him.

I vote we take him, for better or worse and all that.

I vote we take him.

I want to be in a different boat, sailing down a totally different river.

I wanted a sign so badly that it drove me to distraction,

I was going to tell you all earlier, but then Peter showed up,

I was in bits last night.

I was like a thief in the night.

I will buck a French lad, Erin.

I will buck a French lad, so help me God.

I will. No problem.

I won't let you. I won't let you do it.

I won't put up with it anymore. Teenagers have rights now, you know.

I wouldn't be so sure.

I wouldn't say I have a problem, as such.

I wouldn't say I'm encouraging it. I'm just open to the possibility.

I wouldn't say so, no.

I...

I'd actually prefer to keep our Ukrainians separate, so...

I'd do it for you.

I'd like to introduce James Maguire.

I'd love to go that short, but, sure, I don't have the bone structure.

I'll be one minute.

I'll bring my sister Mandy. You might know her.

I'll bring you a tea.

I'll bring your tea right away, sir.

I'll drive him.

I'll find some dirt on you yet, boy.

I'll get it.

I'll get the tea going.

I'll go with me da. He lets me smoke.

I'll go.

I'll go. I'll get it.

I'll need the sound system set up by 7:00.

I'll never forget this. Thank you!

I'll not settle myself until we're over that border, Da.

I'll say something.

I'll spin you across that floor. Get your blazer on.

I'll take her place. I'll step into her shoes. I'll do it.

I'll take that.

I'll, uh...

I'm 16 years old, and I come from a place called 'Derry',

I'm afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID.

I'm all for integration, I am.

I'm begging you, just leave me alone, please.

I'm begging you. It's my big chance with David.

I'm considering joining.

I'm desperate now. This is agony.

I'm devastated. That was

I'm gonna have to make a stand about this, Mammy.

I'm in shock. It's insane.

I'm just gonna say it.

I'm just not so sure that I believe her.

I'm just not sure we'll have room in the caravan.

I'm just on my way to meet our Colm here. I'm a nervous wreck.

I'm living on a knife's edge here.

I'm making a point.

I'm Mary's husband, Gerry.

I'm meeting her upstairs in a bit.

I'm missing David Donnelly's gig, Michelle.

I'm not a grass. I'm saying nothing.

I'm not comfortable driving him across the border.

I'm not comfortable with you talking about my girlfriend like this.

I'm not dangerous.

I'm not doing it again. I mean it this time.

I'm not even sure I saw her smirk anymore. I've had a lot of caffeine.

I'm not frigid.

I'm not gay.

I'm not going to bother with any "never sin again" material,

I'm not in that one.

I'm not interested in your coloureds, Sarah.

I'm not joking.

I'm not lying.

I'm not riding her.

I'm not sure if I'd be suited to any of these. They're all very practical,

I'm not sure that the supermarket that my father in law is

I'm not totally convinced by either of them, if I'm honest.

I'm not up to anything. I should be up to something,

I'm okay, thanks.

I'm pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions

I'm putting you in charge of it, okay?

I'm skiving. Say nothing.

I'm sorry that you had to hear that, Fionnula.

I'm sorry, I'm not wearing my blazer. End of story.

I'm sorry, who are you?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry? I don't follow.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm starting to understand how Moby Dick must feel.

I'm sure we will.

I'm sure you have questions. I just don't really wanna get into it all.

I'm taking my lipstick back.

I'm talking about my punt purse. I can't find my punt purse, Gerry.

I'm talking about the fact that she's a prostitute.

I'm telling you, Mary. That's how it starts.

I'm telling you, she's up to something.

I'm the brightest.

I'm the wee... lesbian.

I'm thinking marriage.

I'm very sorry for all your trouble, you know,

I'm willing to admit it, even if nobody else will,

I've been a bit distracted, maybe.

I've been having a bit of a crisis of faith recently.

I've been thinking. Maybe time for me to lose the rest of my virginity.

I've decided to follow in your footsteps.

I've decided to put my own spin on the uniform this year.

I've given you whatever darks I have.

I've got a chocolate fountain and everything!

I've got my eye on you, boy.

I've got my own people,

I've got people working on it.

I've got some beers, if you fancy a sneaky one.

I've got something.

I've got the most amazing news. I've had a calling.

I've had a whole summer of it, Gerry.

I've had it with the lot of you.

I've just received a phone call from Louise Kerr's mother,

I've never been brave enough to say it out loud before,

I've never seen this man before in my life.

I've stopped answering my phone altogether for fear it's him, Mary.

If anyone deserves to get punished, it should be Michelle.

If God hadn't sent me this sign, I might have left the priesthood to be with her.

If I say it's the law, it's the law, smart hole!

If I'm totally honest, there's times when I look at him and I feel...

If she finds out about this, she'll kill you.

If that's what you were thinking.

If there ever was a more shallow,

If they can put me in jail for 20 years, then, yes, Emmett. Yes, I do.

If we go to Paris, I'd like to meet Nicole.

If what's what I'm thinking?

If you are lying, Erin, so help me Jesus...

If you could take a seat.

If you ignore the fact that Orangemen are circling us

If you insist on going through with this,

If you need any further information, there is a stall in the foyer.

If you want our Ryan to sort that gable wall of yours out, you've only to ask.

If you were dangerous, you wouldn't say that you were dangerous,

Ignore all that.

Ignore him, Erin. These gays, they all stick together.

Imagine being born there and not here. We don't know how lucky we are.

Imagine.

In fairness, Emmett,

In French, she moved next to Kiefer Callaghan,

In history, I say!

In this game, you need a wee bit of integrity.

Incoming ride. I repeat, incoming ride.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Interesting...

Into our mother's home?

Is he all right?

Is he all right?

Is he... is he tied to you?

Is her English not great?

Is it a Renault Clio?

Is it just a casual thing, or are we talking a keeper here?

Is it worse than when we started?

Is that because you're intimidated by them?

Is that Jim's tent?

Is that my diary?

Is that right, Tina? Was it a misunderstanding?

Is that so?

Is that your real eye color or are they contacts?

Is the answer I'd have given if you'd asked how I was.

Is the point, "I'd like to get beaten up"?

Is there any need for the size of this place?

Is there nothing we can do?

Is to be simply left alone."

Is your band playing at this thing tonight?

Isn't she cracker? She's half mine.

Isn't that right, Sister Michael?

Isn't very high up on anyone's political agenda, Aunt Sarah.

It changes the numbers. I'm telling you, It's witchcraft, Mary.

It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful.

It has a bit, actually, yeah.

It is indeed.

It is me.

It is mental out there. Everybody is talking about us.

It is not the same.

It is so, so stupid.

It is stupid.

It is vital you keep a low profile for a bit.

It is, aye.

It really is.

It sort of looks like Moby Dick, actually.

It was all just a misunderstanding.

It was all Michelle. I'm not going down for something I didn't do.

It was him.

It was only a friendly wink.

It was only her answer machine anyway.

It wasn't bullying. It was attempted bullying.

It would be an honor.

It'd be nice for them to spend some time together.

It'll be grand.

It'll be grand. Us men can camp outside.

It's a chicken burger, of course I want chicken!

It's a concern, but so is the fact I have nothing in for me Sunday dinner, so...

It's a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.

It's a man's job, Erin. I'm a man.

It's a pickle, isn't it, Granda? It's just a pickle.

It's absolutely no bother.

It's abuse.

It's aiding and abetting. We're talking serious jail time here.

It's an all girls school, dick face. There are no boys' toilets.

It's anonymous.

It's been a productive morning.

It's class, isn't it?

It's darks I need. Oh, listen, Da.

It's definitely me.

It's fair to say I have a somewhat

It's funny how she sleeps with her eyes wide open,

It's going to play havoc with my build up.

It's gonna be OK.

It's got your man in it. What do you call him?

It's just hard for them to see you with somebody else.

It's just hit me so hard,

It's just much heavier and takes up a lot of room.

It's just not as nice.

It's like an account your parents set up for you to help pay for things,

It's locked!

It's not a risk we have to take. It's a risk we shouldn't take.

It's ridiculous. It's medieval.

It's RUC discrimination.

It's simply not good enough.

It's slave labor, Erin.

It's so sad, it really is. It is so, so sad.

It's still sticky.

It's too greasy! It's much, much too greasy!

It's truly a miracle.

It's Uncle Colm.

It's unlikely she'll be returning to school before the end of the year,

It's very impressive, Jim, but we're actually in a bit of a hurry,

It's worse than slave labor. We're not even getting paid.

It's wrong. I mean...

It's... it's like a ticking sound.

James happens to be English.

James will be the first ever boy to study here at Our Lady Immaculate College.

James, what is going on? I wait long time.

James?

James?

James. Listen, I have something to tell you, and...

James...

Jammy Dodger?

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ.

Jesus wept.

Jesus, Michelle!

Jesus, that's disgusting. Stop it.

Jesus, the pets are getting it left, right and center at the minute.

Jesus! Me, too.

Jesus.

Jim's second best tent.

Joe, it's all just a bit trickier today.

John Paul II.

Journalistic integrity at its finest.

Just a moment, ladies.

Just because of how advanced everything is here.

Just dip into your trust fund. I do it all the time.

Just give me one minute.

Just keep out of it, you.

Just like you now.

Just make yourself comfortable.

Just on the off chance someone would be heading down that way,

Just open that up and take out one of the photos.

Just stay here. One minute.

Just steal someone's idea and we'll pass it off as our own.

Just the two of us, it's gonna be tough,

Kathy's just got divorced, so she's moved back.

Katya.

Kicked his door down and tied him to the radiator

Kill us. You're an accessory after the fact now,

Knows everything about everybody,

Ladies.

Ladies...

Last night, I woke up to this wailing sound.

Last night, two gunmen forced their way into his house,

Lesbians really do exist!

Less of the cheek, Erin.

Less of the knickers.

Let me make one thing clear: I will not have a repeat of the Mr. Mullin affair.

Let me put it this way.

Let me see.

Let me see. What else?

Let us pray.

Let's call it a suspension. I'm sorry, Mary.

Let's do this, girls. Let's just make it happen.

Let's go to work.

Let's hit the floor, girls!

Let's just get it over with, and never, ever speak of it again.

Let's just run through some of our favourite ideas.

Let's stop playing these games.

Like university, your first car, educational trips.

Like what? Apart from you appear to be wearing his clothes.

Like, at all.

Like, how far are we talking? From here to Buncrana?

Like, I don't even think they're legal in Derry.

Like, it's just too much of a coincidence.

Like, who would pay for somebody else's photos?

Listen to it. I mean, just listen to it.

Listen, girls, I didn't really think beyond the exam,

Listen, girls, there are no trust funds. There are no funds, period.

Listen, I can...

Listen, I know this might be a bit shocking,

Listen, I think James might be in real trouble.

Listen, I think there's been a wee bit of a misunderstanding.

Listen, I've a feeling Artem and a few of the others are a bit homesick.

Listen, I've plenty of coloureds. You're welcome to my coloureds.

Listen, listen. Have you killed anyone, son?

Listen, Mary, I understand.

Listen, Mary. I just did a reading.

Listen, you.

Look, Clare.

Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.

Look, I didn't even report them.

Look, I don't want any trouble.

Look, I just wanted to say, well,

Look, I wanted to, Clare, but my ma wouldn't let me.

Look, I'll not tell you again.

Look, I'm sure you all must have questions.

Look, I've said that I'm sorry.

Look, I've yet to hear anybody say anything

Look, if you fail the exam, I promise you,

Look, it's gone. The docket is gone. Why don't we just move on?

Look, Mammy had to cut some sort of deal.

Look, Mammy, I'm not a clone.

Look, okay, fine, but that means we won't be able to buy anything,

Look, we just need to get out of this place as quickly

Look, whatever happens in there, we have to stick together, okay?

Look.

Looks exactly like him.

Looks like I'm going to need someone to hang out with.

Lost sight of the fact that they were really her birthday photos.

Love women. Can't get enough of the ladies.

Lovely job so far, Seamus, but, you know, keep it moving.

Lovely, altogether.

Lovely. And another one.

Macaulay Culkin isn't a Protestant, Ma.

Maeve and me, we...

Maeve.

Maeve. That's what she's called, is she?

Major traffic disruptions are anticipated...

Make a bit of extra cash.

Mammy, what happened to Toto...

Mammy's like a bloodhound.

Mandy O'Connell.

Mary and Sarah will come round eventually, Joe.

Mary, come on. Would you not reconsider?

Mary, I hate to do this to you,

Mary, look, you're family.

Massive, massive ride.

Maureen Malarkey!

Maureen Malarkey's Tigger passed away.

Maybe I'll see you there, then.

Maybe just leave the fella be, sure. What's the odds?

Maybe see you in mass, then, eh?

Maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.

Maybe you should have all thought about that.

Maybe. But, as I think we mentioned, Toto's dead.

Me too.

Me wearing this, it should be meaningless.

Me! I have. Can you believe it?

Me.

Meeting your fancy woman, I suppose.

Michelle Mallon and the wee English fella. Thank you.

Michelle was carrying this scented candle...

Michelle, don't.

Michelle, I can't hold it in any longer.

Michelle, would you mind showing me where the toilet is?

Michelle, you can't do that. It's stealing.

Michelle's running round saying it's her, that she

Might help bring her out of her shell a bit.

Might that shed some light on the situation?

Mind blowing.

Mmm, but you're not two different religions here.

Motherfuckers!

Moved to Moscow, '88, '89, it would have been.

My body is going into starvation mode. I think it's starting to shut down.

My collar bone was sort of poking through my skin.

My eldest girl's unfortunate enough to be married to, that I completely

My God, the injustice of it all.

My letters are a gripping read.

My ma saw him get hit by an army Land Rover,

My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father in law, Joe.

My people are shit hot. Do you hear me? Shit hot!

My uncle still finds it all quite difficult

Name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit.

Nation of rides. My fanny's going funny just thinking about it.

Neither is Papa.

Never got the abortion, either. Lucky for you, James, eh? Ha!

Next he'll be telling you what to wear, what to say.

No chicken.

No docket, no photographs.

No fucking way. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

No lettuce, no tomato, no cheese.

No person really understands why.

No way.

No way. Are you serious?

No, Daddy.

No, I mean I really, really don't understand it.

No, I mean I remember. You're with them.

No, I mean I'd be less surprised if it was you.

No, I mean, we said it, but as a joke.

No, I should do that one.

No, I think the best thing

No, I'm not intimidated by them, Sister.

No, I'm not. I'm collecting Mary's photographs.

No, it was. It was brilliant, and now I haven't got

No, it's not, Joe.

No, no, no, I do want to do sex. I really, really want to do sex.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.

No, no, no, no.

No, not ghost dog...

No, not your letters. I see on news.

No, of course not. I'm sorry.

No, Sister, you didn't.

No, the fact that we're both very spiritual.

No, you can't.

No, you didn't.

No, you didn't. You told him to look after it.

No, you should not, you fucking pervert.

No, you're not serious.

No! It's just a dog that looks a bit like another dog.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Dear God, no.

No. No, you can't.

No. This is ridiculous.

No. Well, at least not directly.

No. What use would that do?

Nobody back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist, Gerry.

Nobody else is ever gonna wanna touch the poor fucker.

Nobody ever actually gets expelled.

Nobody is comfortable stepping into Louise's shoes.

Nobody is just going to hand us things.

Nobody move.

None of it's true, Peter. It's all balls.

Not all because of us, Orla.

Not Brenda Beckett. "Beckett" Beckett.

Not happening.

Not like that.

Not really, no.

Not too bad. Not too bad. And yourself?

Nothing about this makes sense.

Nothing is going in, and every time I try to make notes it...

Nothing's going in.

Now come on, girls, eat up. You'll need all your energy for the big exam.

Now fuck off.

Now he's dictating what size of clock you can pack.

Now he's the fella that got tied to his own radiator.

Now I've lost my page.

Now James isn't even speaking to me.

Now that my dickhead, ballbag, English prick of a cousin's moved in.

Now that you mention it...

Now watch.

Now, come on, girls. Language, please.

Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be,

Now, I tell you why I'm ringing you.

Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door.

Now, more bacon, anyone? Another sausage?

Now, one might well question the wisdom of sending you here, of all places.

Now, the wee girl claims that she's not bothered,

Now, these are my daughters.

Now, whatever you do, don't forget the Grease mega mix.

Now, whites.

Now, who's on next?

Now, why should I follow you?

Obviously, Sister Declan's death was extremely shocking and unexpected.

Of course we didn't.

Of course.

Of course. Trying to butter up the big woman.

Of the Northern Irish conflict.

Of tying me to the radiator, you see.

Oh, and some Cokes for the wains, please. What do you fancy, Sarah?

Oh, aye, the fact that there's an actual Provo in the boot of our car.

Oh, aye. Catch yourself on!

Oh, because of my letters?

Oh, bunk.

Oh, Christ. David.

Oh, Christ. My whites.

Oh, come off it, James. She's charging you for it, isn't she?

Oh, come off it.

Oh, dear God, no.

Oh, dear God.

Oh, dry your eyes, James.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Oh, ghost dog.

Oh, God, aye.

Oh, God, I just can't believe it.

Oh, God, I think... I think I'm having a panic attack.

Oh, God, love you, you poor critter.

Oh, God, please. Oh, God, no, this is bad.

Oh, God.

Oh, he's going to our school.

Oh, I see.

Oh, it's all adding up now, isn't it, Mammy?

Oh, Jenny is a bit of a head mother isn't she?

Oh, look, your boring fucking diary sent her to sleep.

Oh, look. That cop is pointing his gun at us.

Oh, my band, we don't really do covers. Do you know what I mean?

Oh, my God, this day just goes from bad to worse.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. David.

Oh, my God. They're shit.

Oh, no, actually, I can't.

Oh, no! I've lost my bookmark.

Oh, no. Christ, no, I just do a bit of DJing at the side.

Oh, of course. Of course.

Oh, Peter, it's all just so overwhelming.

Oh, playing hard to get, are we, Artem?

Oh, please don't. Please, don't put me in charge of it.

Oh, really? Like what?

Oh, right.

Oh, she has been well and truly hoist by her own petard.

Oh, speaking of pupils who need to watch their back,

Oh, thanks. And you should just about be able to manage this.

Oh, that? That's all blown over now.

Oh, that's just James.

Oh, that's true. It's probably not even that big a deal,

Oh, the grateful, little, peasant girl you ordered?

Oh, we'll see.

Oh, yeah. Big time.

Oh, you guys.

Oh, you look very...

Oh, you were serious.

Oh, you won't, Sister.

Oh! Would you look at that?

OK, guys.

OK, she might be gifted, but I just want her to have a normal childhood.

OK. Right. OK.

OK. So, let's...

Okay, everyone. Remain calm.

Okay, four bags of chips, then.

Okay, Granda.

Okay, I cracked.

Okay, I'm going in.

Okay, just act normal.

Okay, let's do it together.

Okay, look, this has got way out of hand. What are you wearing?

Okay, that should do it. Ready?

Okay, then.

Okay, then. So you claim you saw

Okay, well, I'll see you later, then.

Okay, well, if your mother has no objections, I don't see why not.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. That's one portion of red fish, one portion of white fish,

Okay. The five of you attending chapel, praying together,

Okay...

On a scale of one to ten, how dead do you think we are?

On Monday morning, several of our year thirteens

On retreat?

One Chupa Chup per person.

One...

Ooh, Dib Dab. Okay.

Or diabolique, as they say in France.

Or even if you just want to chat,

Or he could be, you know, just not interested.

Or is your whole world built on a lie, Peter?

Or Londonderry, depending on your persuasion,

Or maybe your letters are just fucking dull.

Or some sort of wok at the very least.

Or us getting out of doing it.

Or you'd be roasted here."

Or, "You're still not going to Paris," as they say in Derry.

Or, and forgive me if this is a bit left field,

Or, you know, acknowledge our right to exist.

Orange bastards!

Orla has got really into step aerobics.

Orla, that better not be what I think it is.

Orla...

Orla's mental. Come on, Michelle.

Our Blessed Lady's features change. Is that right?

Our carriage awaits, motherfuckers.

Our Colm's in the police station.

Our Lady in heaven, she cries her tears and then make rain.

Our what?

Out of the frying pan into the...

Out of the way.

Paris. It's going to be Paris.

Pass us then the phone. I just need to ring the bank.

Pat Sharp. Pat Sharp's definitely a dick.

Pernod.

Peter, Peter, where are you going? Peter, wait.

Peter.

Picking, picking, and I won't take it any more. Do you hear me?

Pictures of, you know, different shoes from around the world.

Piss off, Gerry.

Placed here. If you could all spread the word,

Please don't report us, Jenny. We'll do anything. Anything at all.

Please report to Sister Michael's office immediately?

Please, call me Peter.

Please, please, do not come crying to me.

Poor Tonto.

Proof at last, Peter. Proof at last.

Pump Street?

Punts are such a pain in the ass. Why can't they just use sterling?

Push it, push it.

Put it away and get back downstairs, now.

Put it on the list.

Queue to the right hand side, please.

Quick! Come on!

Quiet.

Rawhide's on in 15 minutes.

Read all about the wee dyke.

Realise just how talented the professionals who originally

Really nice use of, you know, letters.

Recorded these tracks were.

Redial.

Resurrected dog.

Right now, you're like a little seed,

Right, get one of me now.

Right, girls. No dicking about.

Right, I'll just grab my beads. Be back in a minute.

Right, if I leave now, I might still catch David.

Right, look, Colm, I don't have long. We're sending to the chippy here.

Right, there's too many of us for one car. Some of you'll have to go with my da.

Right?

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right. Animals. Er, what's the next one?

Right. Are you signing up for Paris?

Right. Come on in there, Maeve.

Right. It's just, I can't afford them anymore.

Right. Me and Michelle go stash him somewhere,

Right. Okay.

Right. Okay. Don't look. Nobody look.

Right. Once your tent is erect...

Right. Shay Harkin was telling me

Right. So, on three...

Right. Struggling to give a shit, if I'm honest.

Right. Well, the thing is, that's not actually funny, is it?

Right. Will do.

Run and ask Jim across the road for the lend of his tent.

Sadly, I am unable to come on this one, as I despise the French.

Said you was going to beat her up.

Sarah, what do you think of that?

Sarah, you don't get change.

Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we've seen a lawyer.

Says she's got what it takes to go all the way.

Searching for myself?

Secondly, she owns condoms.

Sectarian conflict carry on.

See, Erin's dog died recently, and she saw one that sort of looked like him a bit.

Self absorbed, generally unpleasant human being...

Send you the sign, I mean. Just for argument's sake.

Sentiments and words.

Seriously, it's like a jawbreaker.

Seriously, shoot me in the face.

Seriously, will you just have a Mars bar?

Seriously? Will you be quiet?

Seven bags of chips,

Shay said when you left Duggan's you turned up Pump Street.

She basically told us we can't print the

She brought you a Coke and you just sat there and said sweet Fanny Adams.

She didn't send a photo.

She doesn't love him. She's just using him.

She doesn't love you, James. She's just using you.

She has my diary, Sister, and she won't give it back.

She hasn't gone anywhere, love.

She is dying about herself.

She is hot and you're not dead, yet.

She is racist, patronizing bitch.

She just smirked at me, too.

She just smirked at me.

She just wants something to do.

She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday.

She seems to be really enjoying it.

She showed me some old walls.

She stole it first.

She told me to have some food first.

She wants to have sex with you.

She was lonely.

She went to England years ago to have an abortion, never came back.

She won't even talk to me. She doesn't even want to sit beside me.

She won't let me leave.

She wouldn't actually have banned us. She was bluffing.

She'd have been 98 on Friday.

She'd put the electric blanket on full whack

She'll basically be a celebrity.

She'll find Derry a bit overwhelming at first,

She's a bit of a goer, is our Kathy, riding rings around him, so she was.

She's a cheating old bitch.

She's also opened my eyes about how we need to break down barriers here,

She's an upper sixth.

She's away back to London.

She's crying real tears.

She's crying.

She's gone too far this time, Mammy.

She's melting my head.

She's not bluffing, Michelle.

She's stepping morning, noon and night.

She's such a dick.

She's taking you to a caravan in Portnoo. She's not giving you a kidney, Clare.

She's trying to cross over."

She's Ukrainian, actually.

Shh!

Shh! Can you hear that?

Shit, he's coming.

Shit. James.

Shoes of the world. What does that even mean?

Shouldn't you put that in the confiscated box?

Show yourself, please, James.

Shower of shites!

Shut up.

Shut up. From here to Ballybofey? Sure, you'd be knackered.

Sister Declan was a woman of God.

Sister Michael, some of us have actually

Sister, didn't you hear me?

Sister.

Sit down. Mr. Maguire,

Size of this motherfucking house!

Sláinte, motherfuckers.

Sleep deprivation.

So are those ski pants, Clare, didn't stop you pulling them over your hole.

So Christ only knows what's lurking downstairs.

So do I. I really like his shiny hair.

So he's just going to pack in the priesthood now, is he? Completely?

So I still have...

So I'm having a bit of a soiree at my place tonight. It's going to be great.

So I've decided to carry out a full investigation into the incident.

So if anyone is feeling anxious or worried,

So if I was to go next door

So if we could just grab that tent...

So it had nothing to do with me. Yes, okay, I was there.

So it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.

So let me take this opportunity to advise all our new girls

So much as a photograph to look back on.

So not only you insult me, but you've also spoiled Jenny's surprise.

So should I just use the girls' toilets?

So that's probably why.

So things must be really bad, because Kiefer reeks of piss.

So we can...

So we get first dibs on all the jobs.

So what happened back there was totally fine, but this

So where's the real Artem?

So you should just about be able to manage that, Michelle.

So, before we begin,

So, firstly we have the tutoring.

So, heads, the wee RA man comes with us.

So, I did a bit of asking around, you know,

So, Katya, I've done a bit of an itinerary for your stay.

So, not only are we not going to Paris,

So, this concept would focus on animals,

So, we've had an alleged apparition here this morning.

So, you know, good luck with that, Peter.

So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry. Oh, actually, do you know what?

Some lovely sentiments there.

Some very beautiful words.

Something like this could go on our permanent record, Erin.

Sorry I'm late, Sister, couldn't get over the bridge. This bloody bomb.

Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister.

Sorry, Emmett. You were saying?

Sorry, I'm going to have to spit this out.

Sorry, love, did you say something?

Sorry, you're right. Vegetarian, Brigitte is.

Speak for yourself, sugar tits.

Stick down five.

Stick on a half load and be done with it, woman.

Stick that in the boot.

Still no sign of the lottery numbers?

Stop it, Erin.

Stop slagging off Kamal. Kamal doesn't have it easy.

Story because it's about a lesbian.

Struck down in her prime.

Student teacher.

Suffocation: the secret life of a gay teenager.

Sure, didn't I predict this?

Sure, how could I go?

Sure, I know.

Sure, it's worth a try.

Sure, Macaulay Culkin might be divorcing his parents.

Sure, the wee robots do all the work.

Sure, what's a pair of knickers between cousins?

Sure, winking's not in my notion, Mary. What would I have to be winking about?

Sure, you couldn't pay you to eat a cream horn.

Sure. That's why they lost all the weight.

Surrounded by conflict.

Suspicions were raised when a hijacked van...

Swear on Dolly.

Swear.

Sweet and gentle Jesus.

Sweet Jesus.

Sweet suffering Jehovah.

Sweet suffering Jesus. It's the morning already?! What are we going to do?

Sweet. Cool.

Take a long, hard look at that.

Take care.

Taking my change.

Talking about you, James, in case you're wondering.

Tell me this. Does Jenny Joyce's house really have eight bedrooms?

Tell Sarah this is the fella that blow dries my hair.

Tell that Free State fucker to shift his hole.

Tell you what, son.

Ten copies of each, please, and Jenny wants a tea.

Thank God.

Thank you, Aunt Mary.

Thank you, Fionnula.

Thank you, girls.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks be to God.

Thanks be to God.

Thanks. You should come along tonight.

That color's been discontinued.

That dog was Toto.

That if you're looking for the wee lezzer, look no further,

That makes sense.

That Michelle tripped while carrying a scented candle,

That Peter thinks I'm the chosen one, so...

That there was some sort of an incident on the bus this morning.

That was a greyhound, Orla.

That was nobody.

That we willingly deceive ourselves.

That'll be £3.75, please. And have you got your wee docket there?

That's a pity, 'cause I think there's something really sexy

That's actually a Native American term.

That's because I can't get anything past Rupert Murdoch

That's definitely happening.

That's English for you. Fucking savages.

That's hardly news.

That's his second best tent, you know.

That's Mary, and this is Sarah.

That's not like you, Granda.

That's not what's important, what's important is that we are all deeply...

That's the law.

That's what it is. It's abusive.

The Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre.

The Brits are flat out with their own parade.

The cards say if we go on this wee holiday we're placing ourselves in grave danger,

The chapel. She was there.

The Charlene Kavanagh wants to hang around with little old me!

The child will be in bed,

The circumstances in which I found her body were... strange, to say the least.

The device was detonated at 3pm this afternoon.

The disembodied spirit of a dead relative?

The dog and statue are unrelated.

The dog has nothing to do with anything.

The dog led you to the chapel?

The dog's not even dead. He's living with Maureen Malarkey.

The hair. Can you see a ginger tinge?

The hospital are saying it was heart failure,

The husband caught her doing the dirt on him.

The Lord's work is often difficult to comprehend.

The mural on our house, the spray paint, it was Emmett.

The only crime I committed was to be born a Catholic.

The patron saint of all things lost and stolen.

The photographs. Well, I remember you. I couldn't forget ya.

The physical thing isn't really working for me yet.

The reading of the diary was bad enough.

The reality, I'm sorry to say, is much harsher. Far more brutal.

The RUC say no warning was given.

The school is trying to erase this young girl's experience,

The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he,

The statue, well, you claim it started weeping.

The taller fella. Well, it was one of the two.

The tears on the statue.

The tight bastard is trying to starve us all, Mary.

The truth might affect

The Virgin Mother smirked at us, Peter. That is correct.

The wains from Chernobyl,

The wains shouldn't have to take the bus to school.

The whole hoo ha at the power plant.

The woman was almost 98 years of age. She had a heart attack.

Their bus can go the long way around.

Then fell asleep.

Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches?

There are no jobs in Derry.

There are so many diversions and, you know, I drive for a living.

There are so many roadblocks up.

There he is.

There is more chance of me

There is no such thing as a friendly wink.

There was a knock at the door.

There was no incident.

There was no smirking, no weeping.

There you are.

There you are.

There you go. You're not as slow as you look.

There'd be a lot less to wade through, you English prick.

There'll be a nice wee plot out there with your name on it.

There'll be no chips, full stop.

There'll be no free chips.

There's a good chance I'll have a liter bottle of Pernod in my bag.

There's also some babysitting.

There's also some gardening, mowing a lawn, et cetera.

There's bound to be something in here we can steal.

There's definitely grounds for an annulment here, Mary.

There's no shame in doing a half load, you know, Mary.

There's nowhere to hide.

There's quite a lot of caffeine in those, Clare.

There's really only one thing you need to know.

There's so much I want to do. The Champs Élysées,

There's still a good chance that he's a rapist.

These are just colors and shapes.

These are my real eyes.

These cordless phones are the future.

They all think what you did was pretty out of order, Erin.

They all thought you were a nutcase. They took pity on you.

They are not to be distributed tomorrow.

They can't... I mean, they don't... Why do they have to be so loud?

They did indeed.

They have some pretty cracker stuff where she comes from, too, Erin.

They have these wee, tiny bathrooms attached to them.

They really don't look that happy, do they?

They said we could make page five.

They stole your van,

They threatened him with physical violence.

They threatened to burn his house down before manhandling...

They want ordinary people to suffer.

They were looking for the keys to the van. Keep up, Erin.

They were my birthday photos, for God's sake.

They were worried lads would beat him up because...

They're a thorn in my arse at the best of times.

They're absolutely shit.

They're all, "motherfucker" this, "motherfucker" that.

They're bombing the bridge, apparently.

They're ignoring the ban, Sister.

They're in her bag. A whole packet.

They're only Blu Tacked on.

They've been playing the same three songs since 1795.

Think I'll just have to mull it over.

Think it's just a rehearsal, love.

This flag is not an identity.

This is a bit awkward,

This is about, you know, gay rights.

This is disgraceful.

This is good. "Wicked" means "good" in England, doesn't it?

This is just going to be a very relaxed, informal chat.

This is just so disappointing, girls. I mean, threatening a first year...

This is mayonnaise.

This is more important.

This is the best bit.

This is the word of the Lord.

This is torture.

This is what it's all about.

This is what they want.

This is...

This isn't a miracle, Clare.

This isn't a problem, Sister. This is ground breaking journalism.

This isn't grave danger.

This must have been...

This place is a death trap.

This psychic carry on, it's not all it's cracked up to be, you know.

This whale, he's a bad brute, Mrs. Quinn.

This will require a bit of muscle, so...

This year's destination for the Euro Trotters trip

Those were my very words.

Though, to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it.

Thought you might say that.

Threatening to set fire to my good chaise longue and all sorts.

Three of us saw it, Erin. How do you explain that?

Three.

Ticking.

Tied him up, stole his van.

Times New Roman, I believe the font is called.

To convince me that bringing that lad across the border with us is a good idea.

To get your hands on someone else's photos.

To keep their guard up.

To me, is stupid.

To no longer define ourselves as Irish or British, Catholic or Protestant,

To that statue... because you're special, Erin.

To the dog you had when you were five years old.

To think, I could be staring at him right now.

Tommy!

Toto was much more than a dog.

Toto was my best friend.

Toto was not a shit dog.

Toto was sent back to lead you to that chapel,

Toto.

Training to come to the scene immediately.

Trust fund, you say?

Tsk. I don't know.

Turf the wain out in the middle of nowhere?

Twenty four hours.

Two fourth years cable tied him to the monkey bars and started dry riding him.

Two gunmen of roughly the same height

Two pound? Catch yourself on.

Uh, I don't have one.

Uh, wonderful, girls. Lovely stuff.

Uh...

Um, all right.

Um, I also think Clive may have had too many disco biscuits on his holidays.

Um, I just wanted to say that, uh, I, um...

Um, since there's no male student toilets on the premises,

Underneath it all, I'm sure they're reasonable enough people.

Unfortunately, that's all they are:

Unless he's not, you know, because unless he's gone to hell.

Up next we have...

Up there somewhere, trying to mount my friend.

Used it to move arms across the border,

Violence is never the answer."

Wacca wacca, cha ching!

Wait for it.

Wanda Gallagher hasn't been expelled, and she's in the IRA.

Was there something else, or...?

Wasn't that all humiliating?

Watch their back.

Watched this film last night. My da got it off Pyro Pauline,

We all just lost a bit of respect for you there, Clare.

We are all so fucked.

We are the motherfucking children of Fatima, people.

We can be together.

We can do is decide who will fulfil the role of editor now.

We can just steal something, and we'll

We can't give up on Paris.

We can't go to the Free State without punts.

We could sell our organs.

We could. We could sell our organs.

We didn't do anything. It's not fair!

We didn't threaten her. We're not stupid. Big Mandy is her sister,

We do not utter that woman's name in this house.

We don't sell alcohol.

We go now?

We have a wee offer on there for hair removal cream, if you want to, with the...

We have no punts.

We have to back each other up.

We have to decide what to do here, one way or another.

We have two children.

We just get on well, that's all.

We just need to change our approach slightly.

We like to buy Jenny present to thank her for nice party.

We met at the Stations of the Cross.

We need to leave this place fucking spotless.

We need to make a call on our lead story.

We need to shift ourselves.

We need to take the power out of these symbols.

We think this issue should be cancelled.

We will not be censored!

We'd better head.

We'll decide what to do as a family.

We'll get in trouble, real trouble, big trouble.

We'll hear no more about the magic pen.

We'll just print this.

We'll need a miracle for the big exam.

We'll never call you "mammy".

We're all going to get our holes kicked, and we are all in the same boat.

We're all involved in this, Da.

We're basically celebrities now. We're like the Corrs.

We're doing this interview, you see, for UTV.

We're just looking.

We're lying. We've been lying.

We're making a statement. You're ruining our statement.

We're Mary and Gerry and we're living in Derry.

We're outnumbered.

We're puntless. We haven't a punt between us.

We're spending our Sunday scrubbing Fionnula's fucking fish hole for free.

We're still on William of Orange! We haven't so much looked at the famine!

We're still struggling to understand what happened.

We're the goodies.

We're very sorry, Tina.

We've a good two or three hours before the rioting starts.

We've got the gist. They ran out of spuds, everyone was raging.

Wee omelet, maybe? Anything at all.

Wee Tigger had just passed.

Welcome to Derry.

Welcome to the club, Ciaran.

Well done, everyone.

Well done. You are correct.

Well, aren't you a brave man, given the circumstances?

Well, before he had nothing really going for him,

Well, chocolate fountain or not,

Well, come on, then, ball ache. Are you introducing yourself, or what?

Well, descriptive narrative has always been a strong point.

Well, dicko?

Well, don't. Don't come out. Go back in.

Well, during the last 24 hours,

Well, fair enough, if nobody is willing

Well, Fionnula gave her free chips for a month.

Well, he did, Erin.

Well, hello, Artem.

Well, how do things work here? How do they work?

Well, humor is so subjective, really, so...

Well, I actually have good reason to believe they were actually dog piss.

Well, I appreciate that you're still here, Aisling.

Well, I can't tell my rebellions from my risings.

Well, I don't know about the rest of you,

Well, I need to draw a line under this somehow, so...

Well, I see no need to take this matter any further,

Well, I think it's safe to say

Well, I think... I think this might be it.

Well, I'm going to need some time to think about that.

Well, I'm not being individual on my own.

Well, I'm not taking it. I've been stung once already this week,

Well, I'm not, not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.

Well, I'm sorry, Clare, but I'm just not interested in you,

Well, I'm sorry, Clare.

Well, I'm... I'm gonna make sure you don't enjoy it.

Well, if he's not enjoying it, isn't that sort of sexual harassment?

Well, if she ever does reveal herself,

Well, in that conventional sort of way, I suppose.

Well, it was one of the two.

Well, it's a risk we have to take.

Well, it's an easy mistake to make, Joe. Can I call you Joe?

Well, it's done now.

Well, it's in the weeping statue category.

Well, it's obviously him. It's obviously my husband.

Well, it's pure hatred.

Well, Jenny Joyce was talking through her fat hole about this trust fund thing.

Well, maybe not the fire, but certainly a different type of frying pan.

Well, not my real name, like, but it'll have to do.

Well, not now.

Well, practice makes perfect, Aunt Mary.

Well, she was looking very slim at the time, so go and grab them

Well, sure, that's the main thing.

Well, thanks a million, Mary. I owe you one.

Well, that's because I like Coke.

Well, that's sort of an entry level requirement, Erin.

Well, the wee fella's English. They might respect that.

Well, then grow a set of balls and help the fella out.

Well, there was absolutely no need for that.

Well, there you go. So that settles it.

Well, there's actually a political element to it, Katya,

Well, they did for a while, Sarah, but then, you know, partition happened.

Well, this issue of The Habit will go down in history.

Well, we'll beat you up.

Well, well, well.

Well, what happened was...

Well, yes, but...

Well, you could at least wait till I've asked.

Well, you don't really wanna go to Jenny Joyce's house, do you, love?

Well, you know what else is staggering? Your gayness.

Well, you're decent people.

Well, you're good people.

Well, you're in too deep now, Clare.

Well... you're just riding Charlene Kavanagh.

What a day.

What age are you, Maeve, like, 30?

What age was Sister Declan?

What are they, stilts?

What are we doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Who are you talking to?

What are you looking at, you tangerine toe?

What are you playing at, rifling through a dead nun's handbag?

What are you suggesting?

What did I say? You look like a fucking ball bag.

What do they need to rehearse for?

What do you expect me to do on a Friday, Fionnula? Cook?

What do you mean, you've seen on news?

What exactly is your problem with the big clock?

What has become of us?

What if he didn't?

What if it actually was your dog?

What if it didn't simply look like your dog?

What if it were Orla?

What if Sister Declan wakes up?

What if the army asks to search the car?

What if they pull us over at the checkpoint, Joe?

What if this dog you saw, Erin,

What if we don't help him and he kills us all because we know too much?

What if we get expelled?

What is it again? What was it now?

What now?

What part of me not giving a flying fuck are you struggling with, exactly?

What the actual cock are you talking about?

What the fuck's going on here, exactly?

What the hell does he need a knife for?

What the hell were you playing at back there, "Kemosabe"?

What were you doing heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, Da?

What would possess her?

What you've just witnessed is a piece of fiction.

What, do you think I'm holding out on you?

What, in your room?

What, without me?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? £375 each?

What's all this? I thought we were going to be individuals this year.

What's become of us?

What's going on there, girls?

What's going on?

What's happening over there is really lousy, Erin.

What's happening to me?

What's happening, exactly?

What's happening?

What's he doing here?

What's he doing?

What's this prick up to now?

What's wrong with being gay?

What's wrong with her, like?

What's wrong with our gable wall?

Whatever the fuck it's called.

Whatever you do, don't slag off the Pope.

When I lost the half stone doing the Rosemary Conley as well.

When I met this amazing girl.

When one of them, the smaller fella...

When Shauna Sharkey was interviewed...

When you think about it, we've actually got a lot in common,

Where did he go?

Where do we go from here?

Where the fuck are we going to get the money for Paris now?

Where's my mom, Auntie Deidre?

Which I'm not buzzing about, to be honest.

Which means we'll have no food, which means we'll all starve to death.

Which one's ours?

Which, I know for a fact, you haven't as much as even opened a book for.

Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?

Who does our Sarah's forwards, by the way.

Who is this?

Who the fuck's Kamal?

Who've come over to give their wee lungs a bit of a clear out,

Whose fault's that? If your lot stopped invading us for five fucking minutes,

Why are you calling Maureen Malarkey?

Why are you encouraging all this?

Why are you suddenly Irish?

Why doesn't someone just call the police?

Why don't we explain it was an accident, that we don't want any trouble?

Why don't we just toss a coin?

Why don't you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket?

Why don't you just leave my Mary alone?

Why don't you just move out?

Why has everybody gone absolutely mental?

Why is it my fault?

Why not have some fun?

Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here but is risen.

Why should we sit up the front? We're fifth years. They're fetuses.

Why the hell do I not smoke?

Why would I want somebody else's photos?

Why would she do that?

Why would two gunmen break into a chippy?

Why's he making that funny noise?

Will be, dramatic pause..."

Will face their GCSE maths resit.

Will one of you please explain it to me?

Will the following pupils

Will you sponsor me?

Wind of something like this at the moment.

With his own shoelaces.

With me new shoelaces,

With one of the colorists in Hair and Flair,

Within which you can grow.

Wonder what could that be about?

Work what out?

Would have to the Irish Resistance.

Would living without fried food really be so bad?

Would you ever think of going cordless?

Would you stop doing that, please?

Would you stop that?

Wouldn't it have been easier to just remove the notices?

Wow, what a great way to look at it.

Wow.

Writing competition are to be

Wrote the story, that she's the wee lesbian.

Yeah, apparently there was a smirk as well.

Yeah, because fish have tails.

Yeah, but the thing is, I don't care.

Yeah, come on, Erin. Give Orla a go.

Yeah, go on, love. Say something to Katya.

Yeah, he kept wandering off.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Yeah, I'm not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.

Yeah, not too bad.

Yeah, she might be a dick.

Yeah, that does sort of explain it.

Yeah, that much was clear, thank you, Michelle.

Yeah, the more I talk about it and the more I sober up...

Yeah, we could tell the truth, but I sort of like the fact

Yeah, we should put a stop to it.

Yeah, well we didn't really want you to get into our boot.

Yeah, well, all of you.

Yeah, well, something has made me reassess all that. What was it again?

Yeah, you can't waste Esther's time like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I only came back because I forgot my inhaler.

Yeah. This isn't Windolene.

Yeah. You might want to think about wising up.

Yeah... No.

Yep.

Yes, all right, thank you.

Yes, and now he's talking about digging him up.

Yes, as I said, it's...

Yes, he is with us. Do not be afraid, child.

Yes, I do.

Yes, I do. We have a lot in common.

Yes, I like.

Yes, James.

Yes, Mrs. Malarkey?

Yes!

Yes.

Yes. Actually, yes, I am.

Yes. Yes, there was something else, actually.

Yet this message from on high comes on the very day you happen to have an exam,

You actually were a thief in the night,

You are aware you're talking to your current friends?

You are handsome.

You are really starting to do my head in, do you know that?

You are right, Orla. Pizza is not as nice.

You asked me to.

You better not have brought my diary to school.

You can get this wee woman made of wood, right?

You can't be the editor.

You can't compare every animal you have

You can't exactly go part time.

You can't marry an Orangeman, Michelle.

You can't move for lesbians. It's wall to wall lesbians out there.

You can't ring Childline every time your ma threatens to kill you, Erin.

You can't stop me.

You did.

You dirty, dirty Brit.

You do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area.

You do that.

You don't accept their apology?

You don't find that a bit weird?

You don't have news in the Ukraine. You don't have televisions.

You don't know a Jack McGinley, do you?

You don't want anything?

You gave Toto to Maureen Malarkey?

You give that grandfather of yours a message from me.

You happy now?

You have been chosen.

You have been warned.

You heard the woman.

You help me.

You just stay where you are, son.

You just winked.

You know how many of these parades I've lived through?

You know it's balls. I know it's balls.

You know what age I am, boy?

You know what I admire most about you, Erin? Your unshakeable principles.

You know what's wrong with you, Gerry?

You know, every year

You know, I could never abandon him now.

You know, made me question everything, doubt everything.

You know, that is why they are so cracker.

You know, to tell you the truth, Erin,

You lot tell me where I can and can't go in my own town?

You must be new. I'm Jenny.

You must think I came up the Foyle in a bubble.

You need to put a stop to it.

You never miss Murder She Wrote.

You no longer want to do sex?

You people like to fight each other and, to be honest,

You practice on your pillow sometimes, but you don't think that's the same.

You probably won't, Clare.

You pull her apart and inside her there's an even weer wooden woman,

You put in good word with your Cossack friend.

You really think this'll work? That they'll tell us what to do?

You really thought I wouldn't work it out?

You really, really buzz off those Renault Clio ads.

You recognize the legal system of a brutal, imperialistic oppressor, do you?

You see, I was so focused on pissing off that gobshite

You see, injustice is something I have become accustomed to.

You see, the thing about living in Derry is,

You see? That's me wife there.

You sense it.

You seriously need to chill the fuck out.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You should be driving them, you useless shite.

You should be having a lie in, love. You're on your holidays.

You should get that one framed as a wee reminder of your night, Mary.

You should have received a copy in my last letter.

You should take that one, Orla.

You tell him to keep his bloody mouth shut about my pen!

You telling me I don't have a trust fund?

You thieving wee fuckers!

You think Fionnula might have a bit of a problem?

You think I don't realize how quickly a situation can turn?

You wait until your mother hears about this.

You wanted a cup of tea.

You were "like" a thief in the night?

You were in Duggan's bakery yesterday lunchtime.

You were perfect.

You will never guess what she's done this time, Erin.

You will, Charlene. Indeed you will.

You wouldn't find any darks.

You wouldn't move over there, James? I can't see past your massive closet.

You'll be all right.

You'll be as well getting one of the wains to do it.

You'll not have to ask Maeve twice.

You're a fucking embarrassment.

You're a lesbian?

You're a mouth, that's what you are.

You're absolutely sure we need the big clock, love?

You're being censored. Now go.

You're coming? What about the grave danger we're putting ourselves in?

You're different flavors of same religion, no?

You're Erin not afraid of a bit of controversy, are you?

You're in that chapel every single Sunday,

You're inviting me to your gig?

You're missing my big moment.

You're more of a slabber.

You're not going to tell your granda, are you?

You're not in England now, son.

You're not psychic, Aunt Sarah.

You're not seriously going to his concert?

You're not talking about a ban.

You're putting yourself under too much pressure.

You're right, Father.

You're so lucky, Erin.

You're stealing a body!

You're talking shite.

You're the one who gave Jenny Joyce the finger.

You're the one who threatened a first year.

You're to come straight round here, hear me?

You're using the word "claim" a lot there, Peter.

You're...

You've been 33 a few times now, in fairness, Mary.

You've never even kissed a boy before.

You've never even written an article, Erin.

Your arrogance is staggering, Erin.

Your girls, they're just not ready, Joe.

Your granda said "fanny".

Your hair's all funny.

Your letters, they bore.

Your ma said we could come up and have a look at the Russian.

Your mother's been dead ten years, Mary.

Your name sounds a bit like "cat".

Your permanent record, or telling this poor girl's story?

7 6 5 4 3 2 1. That's the account number and the password.

12 chicken nuggets, one small battered hot dog,

375 quid? Are you for real?

...but gay or not, he's still a fella. Who said I was gay?

"Do you know who we are?" How's a body supposed to enjoy dinner?

♪ Afraid of dying ♪ ♪ Afraid of dying ♪

♪ And the soul ♪ ♪ And the soul ♪

♪ It's the ones ♪ ♪ It's the ones ♪

♪ My love ♪ ♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪

♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪ ♪ Not this time ♪

♪ No, not this time ♪ ♪ No, you're never gonna get it ♪

♪ No, you're never gonna get it ♪ ♪ My love ♪

♪ Ow! ♪ ♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪

♪ That never learns to live ♪ ♪ That never learns to live ♪

♪ Who won't be taken ♪ ♪ Who won't be taken ♪

A harp. So harp must be the head

A new friend. A male friend, was it?

A stalker. I'm not a stalker. Look,

Ach, away, Deidre, it's just... The English thing?

Ach, don't be such a fruit, James. Oh, my God, look.

Ach, Sister... Now.

Ah, Da. What do you want me to do?

Ah, shite I used a punt, didn't I? What's on the other side?

All right, Mammy? All right, love.

All right? Any joy with the trust fund? Nah.

Amen. Unbelievable.

And don't be shy with the salt now. What about the wee limey?

and fish must be the tail? Oh, that makes sense.

and now I can't find him. What?

And that involves...? So, this piece would

And Tina, do you accept their apology? No.

And we've all been talking shite. We need to tell the truth, now.

And where do you... Hair and Flair.

Anyhoo... Anyhoo.

Anyone else? Have you ever done any modeling?

Anything else? Oh, do you know what?

Are they nice? Bring Bobby Sands.

Are you not feeling well, James? I don't like it, okay?

Audience with the big man. Pavarotti?

Awful. Poor girl.

Aye, fair dues. Derry has class. Aye.

Aye. Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?

Aye. Ready? Go on, then.

Blowjobs. Oh, God.

Breathe, love. It's far worse for me, Clare.

but reading between the lines... Why are you reading between the lines?

But Sister Michael... Don't even think about arguing.

But you drank the Coke. That's not the point.

Can I be Jim? It's too much, Erin.

Christ's sake. Do you think it's an omen?

Clive? Who's Clive? Christ.

Come on, Emmett, out you go. Ah, ah, ah!

Come on, Erin, you can't do that. Why not?

Come. You disgust me.

Could you not use that word, Michelle? What, "fanny"?

Couldn't stop him, Mammy. Great show.

Curly hair, bit of a lisp. I do not know this person.

Cut that out, Da. Found some. Oh!

Daddy's dead funny, isn't he? Yeah.

Dickhead. Really, Erin.

Did you know about this? No, did I fuck.

Didn't she ban the McGuigan twins? Seriously?

Do you remember, Mary? Aye, you were far too thin, Sarah.

Don't be cheeky. Less of the cheek, you.

Don't be ridiculous. They do, Ma. It's true.

Don't know. I'm still pished. Aye!

Don't you take that tone with me, boy. He seems like a nice enough fella.

Enjoy the chocolate fountain, Orla? Very much so.

Erin, have you got a light? Me? No, I don't smoke.

Everything all right, Mary? Stay back, Deidre.

Fantastic. All right? Lovely to meet you.

Fine. Look at this.

Fine. Yeah.

First day of term, Sarah? Is it, aye?

Five bags of chips, then! I'll have a chicken fillet burger.

For fuck's sake, Clare. Enough!

Four. Four should cover it. Three, then. We'll compromise.

Get off me. Okay, listen.

Give it... to me! No!

Go on, then. What?

God, Mammy. You're up early. So are you.

Great. Oh, I see.

Great. Right. That's us away. Have a nice time.

He attractive boy, Erin. He's English, Katya.

he'd have a look? Michelle, he's a soldier.

he's a boring bastard. Is somebody going to take it or not?

He's English. And you couldn't really blame them.

He's not joking, Michelle. Oh. Christ, fuck no.

Hello, sorry to miss your call. See? Now hang up.

Her customer service is shocking as well. Aye, desperate.

Her mother rang me. You told your ma?

Here we go. Great.

Hey. All right?

Hi. Aw, it's crawled out from under its rock, has it?

Holy fuck. Catch yourself on.

How can we print this utter shit? OK, don't panic.

How can you be so heartless? Don't cry, Erin.

How did you find out? Doesn't matter how she found out.

How do I do a new line again? Return.

How do you know Our Lord doesn't? Our Lord doesn't think anyone's a dick.

How many of them have you had? I don't know. Five? Twenty three?

How much? Two pound.

I am this man. It could be you.

I beg your pardon? I know what you're up to.

I believe so. Is she not a vegetarian, Da?

I can prove it. Sly wee bastard.

I can see your purse right there. No, that's my sterling purse.

I cannot believe this. I think it's a good thing, love.

I don't even think I fancy him. What?

I don't really believe in lesbians. This is perfect.

I don't really fancy it, that's all. I don't understand.

I don't suppose you do, no. Then I don't.

I have a question. Yes?

I have no problem with this. You should.

I have to work, Joe. Work?

I just can't find it. Prick.

I know. You know?

I mean, my hearing is impeccable. I've read the same paragraph 47 times

I mean, not that I wouldn't consider it. Ugh!

I need a drink. He has the bright idea

I put too much mousse in it, that's all. Listen, girls...

I remember that James was being a dick. Miss Mallon.

I see. And that you're a bit ruthless.

I think they would respect that. Away you go, son.

I very much doubt that. Well, it's the truth.

I was visiting a friend of mine. What friend?

I won't give it up. I can't. Listen to yourself, love.

I wouldn't mind a knickerbocker glory. Right.

I wouldn't mind a wee vodka. Make that two.

I'll compromise you through that window. That's enough, Da.

I'll have a cup of tea, Joe. Make your own tea.

I'll just write "plain," will I? No onions, no cucumber.

I'll just... No, no, no.

I'll not dress it up. No, no, it's not the English thing.

I'll not lie. Of course not.

I'll take a tea. Any food?

I'm 62. Sugar daddy you're after, is it?

I'm going to be on UTV, Fionnula. Save your breath, Sarah.

I'm just trying to get the truth. You think we're lying?

I'm not ginger. There's a tinge, Emmett.

I'm not going out there. Send one of the wains.

I'm pushing! I'm pushing it! Hurry up!

I'm so weak I can barely walk. What about Orla?

I'm sorry? Because of the radiation,

I'm trying to get my creative juices flowing over here. OK. You're gonna have

I've decided to serve God. Don't be such a dick, James.

I've got the map. Aye.

I've lost Katya. Good.

In India they wear sandals because...? It's boiling.

Is everything OK, Orla? I warned you, Orla.

Is he enjoying it? It's hard to tell.

Is it exercise? Diet? A combination of both.

Is that a firm hold gel you're using? It's a mousse.

Is that understood? What's the Mr. Mullin affair?

Is that what you call it? Yes.

Is there any Rice Krispies? Shh! Shh!

Is there not? Our poor mother is barely cold,

Is there something wrong with her? Stop that, Erin.

is worth having a panic attack about? You have to turn around.

isn't it? What?

Isn't that right, James? No, I mean here, at our bus stop.

Isn't that right, Sister Michael? You terrify me.

Isn't there some sort of group discount? It's not Club 18 to 30.

Isn't this mad? It's all anyone's talking about.

It is. No, it's not, but if it was...

It was piss. What was?

It wasn't me. No. This was written by a girl.

It'll all blow over soon. Have you seen this?

It's all for the best, Erin. You staged his death, Ma.

It's been very challenging. Really?

It's not true. What?

It's only gonna give our wains ideas. Well, he might be.

It's the truth, Mammy. Erin, if you expect me to believe

James? All right?

James. I have a slight concern.

Jesus, Gerry. Harsh.

Jesus, James. How many times? Return.

Jesus, Joe. What are you doing here?

Jesus, my nails are fucking ruined. Less talking, more digging.

Just admit it. No. I mean, I don't think so.

Just do it again with real money? This is real money, Sarah.

Just move them wee dicks. What?

Just the once. I'm not letting you hit him, Da.

Kamal is knackered. Are you sure Kamal isn't exaggerating?

Keep an eye on that kitchen window, you. I want no part of this.

Let's just vote. Leave him!

Like to leave a message for Maureen... Hang up, Erin.

Listen! Ach, Erin, that's just the big clock.

Listen... the thing is... This is huge, Clare.

Look, love, I know the fella's gay... I'm not gay.

Look, Mary, calm down... Calm down, Gerry?

Maeve? Why does your mother make that sound?

Maeve? That's her name, is it? Yes, that's right.

Mammy, make it stop. ...inch and a half at most.

Marti Pellow. No.

Me too. I can't decide.

Michelle Pfeiffer looks like a cat. Exactly. OK.

Michelle! Don't be a shower of bore bags.

Missing cat posters. If you're an optimist.

More's the pity. It is a bit steep, Jenny.

my friend. God!

my friendship with Peter. You don't have a friendship with Peter.

My permanent record. Count me out. Fine.

My stomach thinks my throat's cut here. Surely, love.

Nice woman. Aye.

No chicken. What do you mean, no chicken?

No, Da. Please, love.

No, hold on. Wait. Yeah?

No, I did not. All right? How's it going?

No, it's not as cold now. She can make a call from her living room,

No, no, no, no! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

No, of course not. I do.

No, she's not, Orla. Aye, she is. Mammy said so.

No? There's no seats down here.

No. I'll take the dogs.

No. No.

No. Nothing drastic. Just a few slaps.

Not really. No.

Now, will you sponsor me or not? Fine.

Oh, do you think so? Yeah.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, I didn't realize... Ah... They do a men's range.

Oh, it's been incredible. Were they always this hard?

Oh, killing nuns now, is it? I didn't, Daddy!

Oh, now you'll definitely pass. It was worth a try!

Oh, seriously, Daddy. You're even afraid of that wee girl.

Oh, stupid punts. Over this?

Oh, that's very nice, love. It's you!

Oh. Anyone else?

Oi! I'll not ask you again. A large cowboy, Fionnula.

OK. And cold. Right.

OK. So, like, how in Russia they wear boots because...

Okay. And I just wanna say,

on, you know, compassionate grounds. He was a dog, Erin!

one plain chicken burger... Give me that. Me.

One plain... No relish, no pickles, no mayonnaise.

Open the box, Erin. Oh, God!

Or there'll be consequences. Such as?

or, hang on, maybe it was the... Doesn't matter, Colm.

Orla saw too. Orla is easily led.

Orla was the one who washed it. Oh, OK. OK.

Orla's... I love my wee fingers.

Our Lord. For feck's sake.

over there. This isn't fair. You can't let it happen, Sister.

Paddy Ashdown. No.

Peter? Yeah.

Pizza is not as nice. No.

please, Fionnula, thank you, please? It'll be ready when it's ready.

Please, Michelle. No.

plenty of onions, plenty of... Get a move on, Daddy.

Quinn, you said? That's right.

Really? Absolutely.

Really? It's true. Brigitte Gallagher she's a lesbian.

Really? Really.

Really? What am I gonna do, Erin?

Right. I'm not saying you won't grow on me.

Same here. And here, thanks, love.

Saw what? She smirked!

Seriously? No.

She is, aye. Maeve. Maeve. Really?

She stole my lipstick, Mammy. Don't lie.

she's half fucking gorilla. That's enough, Miss Mallon.

She's not dead, Erin. Well, not yet.

Shocking. Desperate.

Shoes of the... Shoes of the world.

Since when have you been troubled by exams? Exams?

Sister, priest is here. I'll call you back.

Sit yourselves down. Have a wee drink. No, Michelle. It's wrong.

so I think the only thing we can do now is... Pray for her?

So that's it, is it? Thoughts?

So, firstly, animals. Animals. Can someone elaborate? Yeah.

So, what happens now, Peter? Well, I think the next stage is Rome.

So, would you do me a reading, Sarah? I would, surely, love.

Someone should say something. Aye, Gerry!

Sort of blackmailing her. Oh, happy days.

Stalker, maybe. Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir.

Stay out of it, you. Right, in you go, son.

Step. I'm sorry? Step aerobics.

Stocky fella. No.

Tails, we leave him. Mmm.

Take it you haven't decided yet. Just leave it with me, son.

Thanks, Sarah. We should ring UTV,

That Maeve away? Aye.

that'd be fabby dabby do. Fabby dabby dick.

That's all you hear anybody say. So what are these?

That's debatable. I'm more of a man than Orla.

That's lies. There were quite a few witnesses.

That's not what I... I can smoke here, yes?

That's right. Retreat.

The disco dancer from Look Who's Talking. Who owns the fella?

The dog isn't important. Maybe it is.

The dog's irrelevant. So we followed him for a while.

The exam, Erin. Fuck the exam. Sorry.

The holy smirk, thanks be to God. You're imagining it.

the less sure I am, really. You were drunk?

The writing competition? Exactly.

There is no gay thing. Because I'd be disappointed in you, Mary,

There was just this... Connection?

There was no spark, Erin. He said I was special.

there's obviously something between us. There is?

they all glow in the dark. Right.

They look nice. I can't go on my own.

They'll not bother with us. That's a good point.

They're "boring". Exactly.

They're rifles. Really? Are you sure?

to never say that sentence again. Enough. Come on.

to take her place. I'll do it. Excuse me?

to talk about. It's my bit! It's my bit!

Tune! It's our song, girls. It's our song!

Twenty five miles? How far is that? Far.

two bags of chips... No, no, no.

Two bags won't be enough. Two's plenty, Joe.

Two buns he says you ordered. I often do.

Two... I mean, have a bit of respect.

Ukrainian. Is this her?

We all have one. I don't.

We have to walk away from this. What if we can't?

We must look in the burial place. What's he saying?

We were just following that stupid dog. I'm sorry?

We're going to be late, Erin! But it's freaky.

We're going to be late. Yeah, kicks off at 6:00.

We're not taking him back. What?

We're the last Fenians standing. Relax, love.

We've been through this. Don't want to bring the wee clock?

Well, he was no Gypsy. Stop it. I'm sick of it.

Well, now I have the map. Ach, Da.

Well, that's that done. God rest his wee soul.

Well? Just a cup of tea for me, please, love.

What a load of balls. Oh, my God. Let's see.

What about Kamal? Fuck Kamal.

What about that? Whoa!

What age are you now, Orla? Fifteen.

What are we going to do? Oh, for God's sake, Mary, would you look?

What are you on about, Erin? What are you on about, Orla?

What are you, a simpleton? Hello?

What did he say? Nothing interesting.

What did you do this time, Daddy? Nothing.

what happened in the church this morning? No, I don't think so.

What is going on? Trying to sort Clive out.

What is it? She... she...

What is that, a fish? A dolphin, is it?

What station? Jesus falls for the second time.

What wee girl? That waitress.

What were you saying, Erin? Nothing. Ignore me. Forget it.

What, Brenda Beckett from 12A? No!

What, not even the wee gay fella? I'm not gay.

What? I don't really want anything.

What? Well, I just mean that,

What? What?

What? What?

What? You fancy girls?

What? You heard me, James.

What? Have you been drinking? Yes, I have.

What? Oh, my God! What's up?

What? What do they say? I think... Now, I can't be certain,

What's going on? I don't know.

What's going on? Why have we stopped? Punt purse is in the suitcase.

What's wrong with you? This is your fault.

What's wrong? I can't find my purse.

What's yours? Don't rush me, Fionnula.

What's yours? Uh...

Where did you get all this? Fionnula's cupboard.

Where is everyone? They quit. What? You're not serious.

Where is Katya? I don't know. Why?

Where's Katya? I don't know.

Which will be the only oral that you... Yeah, okay, Michelle.

who got us out of that mess. He won't.

Who were you meant to be? Japanese.

Who, big M? Aye.

Who's Nicole? For God's sake.

Why do you always have to be coarse? Ach, what's the big deal?

Why isn't she smirking at me? She isn't smirking at anyone, James.

Why were you ringing her, Mammy? It's none of your business.

Why? Fuck knows. He's minging.

Will four bags be enough? More than enough.

Will you take it, Da? No chance, love.

Winking? At your age? Mm hmm.

Wise up, Erin. We have to stop her.

Wise up, Jenny. Where do we sign?

Wonderful. Really, Michelle?

would that be a typical morning? Very good.

would you? True.

Yeah, I do. It's a wee red slip of paper, about yay big.

Yeah, I know. Not a navy blue, now. More like a royal blue.

Yeah, we're fucked. No. It's OK.

Yeah? Can I just ask,

Yeah? Sister Michael, can I just quickly ask,

Yeah. Dark blue lettering, it has.

Yes, we do. We do. No, you don't. Really?

Yes! Yes!

You are imbecile. "An" imbecile.

You are one. Of course, Beckett lived in Paris,

You better do as I say, or... Or what?

You bloody tout. Where is Emmett?

You could be lying. Why would I lie?

You didn't let me finish. Well, I sensed where you were going.

You do not want to do this, James. Yes, I do.

You expect me to cook? You could order a pizza.

You know that, Da. You away to do the big shop, Da? Aye.

You know what I mean, normal money. All right. Who has ten pence?

You may have a point. Of course I have a point.

You need to help me out here. We do that and we're breaking the law.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Piss off, Erin.

You stay over, too, son? Yes, I did. That's correct, sir.

You'll scare Clive. Who's Clive?

You're afraid of your own shadow. No, I'm not.

You're an awful wuss. I'm not a wuss.

You're joking. Honest to God.

You're not a bad looking lad. Thank you.

You're not getting anything? I'm trying to do this fast for Ethiopia.

You're not ready for it. I am.

You're not serious. It'll be grand.

You're such a pussy. What were they looking for?

You've just done us out of your Russian. Ukrainian.

Your man from Fun House. Pat Sharp?

Your mother never lived in this house. Shut up, Gerry.

.. Orla McCool.

...opportunity there.

...Toto, we'll get back to you

...you'll want to think about where to safely store your food,

'.. in what is already being described as one of the worst atrocities

'Cause Joe drives really fast.

'Cause that's not how things work around here, James.

'cause we understand what it's like to be a young person from a troubled place,

"But the thing is, life isn't fair.

"Colm, it's a good job you have the economy seven on the old timer,

"Endless Love," "The Power of Love," "All You Need Is Love,"

"Excuse me, mate. Can you help us get out of here?"

"her being almost 98 years of age" thing?

"How Deep Is Your Love," "It Must Have Been Love,"

"I have a fringe and cigarettes and opinions",

"I Wanna Know What Love Is," "I Will Always Love You."

"Motherfucker," it's my new thing.

"My name is Erin Quinn.

"Not interested in you like that." Look at the state of you.

"Notice from Mr. Macaulay.

"Oh, I'm so good looking. Oh, I'm so popular."

"The path to peace is paved with tolerance and understanding.

♪ 'Cause on my love you can depend ♪

♪ A different way to be. ♪

♪ A lover and a fighter... ♪

♪ Afraid of waking

♪ Ah, push it ♪

♪ Ah, push it ♪

♪ All I do is cry ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ And he gives me goose pimples With every single touch ♪

♪ And it feels like home

♪ And so the feeling grows ♪

♪ And, oh, my dreams

♪ Are we like you? ♪

♪ Because it came from you

♪ But now I'm feeling it even more

♪ But she don't want to know ♪

♪ Can't you see ♪

♪ Celebrate ♪

♪ Come on and let it show ♪

♪ Derek B he got the cuts you like ♪

♪ Derek B. he got the cuts you like ♪

♪ Do you, do you, do you ♪

♪ Do you, do you, do you Do you see the light? ♪

♪ Everyone must stand alone

♪ Feel all right ♪

♪ Feel all right ♪

♪ For seven long years ♪

♪ God? ♪

♪ He takes his time And does everything right ♪

♪ He's a mighty, mighty good man ♪

♪ He's a real smooth brother Never in a rush ♪

♪ He's not a wham bam thank you ma'am He's a thriller ♪

♪ Holiday ♪

♪ I can feel your power

♪ I can feel your power

♪ I can't be sure ♪

♪ I close my eyes... ♪

♪ I feel it in my fingers ♪

♪ I felt surprised ♪

♪ I got to find just the kind Or losing my mind ♪

♪ I hear you call my name

♪ I hear your voice... ♪

♪ I know I felt like this before

♪ I said goodbye ♪

♪ I wanna take you there

♪ I wanna take you there

♪ I'm down on my knees

♪ I'm down on my knees

♪ In every possible way

♪ In the midnight hour

♪ In the midnight hour

♪ It would be ♪

♪ It would be so nice ♪

♪ It's everywhere I go ♪

♪ It's like a little prayer

♪ It's like a little prayer

♪ It's never quite as it seems

♪ It's the dream... ♪

♪ It's the heart afraid of breaking

♪ It's written in the wind ♪

♪ Just like a prayer

♪ Just like a prayer

♪ Keep our teeth nice and clean ♪

♪ Knocks me out with one shot For the rest of the night ♪

♪ Let's talk about all the good things... ♪

♪ Let's talk about sex, baby

♪ Let's talk about you and me

♪ Life is a mystery

♪ Looking back on the track For a little green bag ♪

♪ Love is all around me ♪

♪ My heart is low ♪

♪ My man gives real loving That's why I call him "killer" ♪

♪ Never quite as it seems

♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪

♪ No, you're never gonna get it ♪

♪ No, you're never gonna get it ♪ ♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Now I take her out ♪

♪ Of the scene As she turns ♪

♪ Oh, my life is changing every day

♪ Ooh bop ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, hey ♪

♪ Out of sight in the night Out of sight in the day... ♪

♪ Out of the sky

♪ Peeling the skin back from my eyes ♪

♪ Push it real good ♪

♪ Say it again now ♪

♪ Secure in his manhood 'Cause he's a real man ♪

♪ See our friends See the sights ♪

♪ See our friends See the sights ♪

♪ She helped me spend my dough ♪

♪ She leads a lonely life ♪

♪ She left a note last night... ♪

♪ She left me reeling and rocking ♪

♪ Since you've gone ♪

♪ Smoke a fag, put it out ♪

♪ So if you really love me ♪

♪ Somebody help me ♪

♪ Spends quality time with his kids When he can ♪

♪ Spinderella cut it up one time ♪

♪ Tears from my eyes ♪

♪ That my baby has left me? ♪

♪ That never learns to dance... ♪

♪ That never takes the chance

♪ That the time on the clock Was the time ♪

♪ That woman's got me drinking... ♪

♪ The person falling here is me

♪ Then I open up and see

♪ Turn it up ♪

♪ Walking the floor ♪

♪ We are strange ♪

♪ We are young ♪

♪ We need a holiday ♪

♪ We run green ♪

♪ We wake up, we go out ♪

♪ What a man, what a man, what a man What a mighty good man ♪

♪ What a man, what a man, what a man What a mighty good man ♪

♪ When you call my name

♪ When you call my name

♪ Who cannot seem to give

♪ Wind it up! ♪

♪ Won't somebody help me? ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You know I'll take you there

♪ You know I'll take you there... ♪

♪ You're unbelievable ♪

♪ Young at heart ♪