Ice Age Collision Course (2016) Edit

A baby!

A ball of fire heading directly towards us?

A chance series of events?

A gloriously orchestrated plan?

A magician never reveals his secrets.

A sneak preview of the asteroid to come.

A space rock. Fresh from the cosmos.

A vast expanse of space and matter.

About moving underground for a while.

Actually, we were just gonna wing it!

Actually, weren't you gonna help me with the thing?

Actually, you don't have all the time in the world.

Ah, my cynical friend.

Ah, women!

Ah!

Ah!

Aha!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! Demon angel!

Ahh! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

All good theories. I'm going to go with the puck.

All I wanted is true love.

All over again.

All right, how about best of three?

All right, kids.

All right, let's go.

All right, mammals. Time to get moving.

All right, Roger. Lead the way.

All rocks tell a tale.

All we need to do is seal the steam vents around it.

ALL: Huh?

ALL: Huh? (SNIFFING) Hold on to your butts!

ALL: Manny! Manny! Manny!

ALL: Surprise!

Allow me.

Am I in heaven?

An asteroid hit.

An asteroid is coming.

An honest living. Stealing.

And absolutely no support system...

And all I've got is my boyish good looks

And all's a lot!

And by the way,

And come this far Oh I never knew I

And come this far Oh I never knew I

And coming up next, mammals.

And dashing and diving and dodging

And do you...

And expert salsa dancer.

And for you, my guru, my rock, my main mammoth...

And garter belts!

And I'm still leaving home.

And if these space rocks are magnetic...

And it's about to happen again.

And it's heading straight for us.

And just listen.

And launch a bunch of rocks into space.

And leave home.

And like my grandfather used to say...

And look what it's doing to the sky.

And looking fabulous!

And meet me on the other side

And now it's time to give it back.

And now, I think I have a fever.

And remember, lift with your legs.

And see what's attracting the asteroid.

And she thinks we're just gonna

And she'll just stay our little girl forever!

And she's in trouble!

And sliding and gliding and staying alive

And smells amazing!

And speaking of weird.

And take half of everything.

And that would be...

And that's how it's done. Hmm.

And the story it tells is very disturbing.

And then she wiggled.

And there's an arsonist on the loose.

And these are a few of the things

And this mariachi band.

And this must be Nectarine.

And this widdle astewoid

And to prove myself to you.

And we were up against volcanoes,

And what about Granny?

And what are you? A professor of logic?

And when I knew you were ready, I let you go.

And with a butt that size,

And you call yourself a professor.

And you found him. Just like I did.

And you, you coconut!

And you'll get married.

And you're the dummy.

And your baby gets sick. What do you do?

ANIMAL: Totally, let's do it!

Anniversary?

Anybody there? Oh!

Are we going to launch these crystals?

Are you crazy? We've only had one date.

Are you kidding? This place is great!

Are you okay? How many tusks do you see?

Are you sure you can't come with us?

Are you, weasel?

As a father, I would work with my worst enemy...

As father meets daughter

As in, not towards Earth.

Attracting the asteroid.

Attracting the asteroid.

Aw, shoot! I'm out of fingers.

Aw! I remember when Manny and I used to be like that.

Awesome meeting you guys.

Bad news! Somebody up there doesn't like us.

Bada bing, bada boom!

Because Daddy and his fwiends saved the world.

Because it was slippery?

Because that's not how I want to spend

Because the world is mourning my loss.

Because time till impact is roughly...

Beep, beep, beep.

Before the dinosaurs,

Before they begin.

Before, before

Behold, mammals!

Besides, why take out the weasel

Best present ever.

Blimey!

Boom! Bye bye.

Boom! Bye bye.

BOTH: He sees all.

BOTH: Hey, what's that stink I smell out there? It's Manny!

BOTH: Nice save with the light show.

BOTH: No!

BOTH: Rah rah! Sis boom bah!

BOTH: So do we! (LAUGHING)

BOTH: Ta da!

BOTH: Yeah.

Boy, he really sucks the fun out of everything. Doesn't he?

Boy, Mother Nature sure is in a bad mood lately.

Brilliant. Right this way.

Bring it in, Bro Son. Welcome to the family.

BROOKE: I can't believe it!

BROOKE: Please keep your arms and legs

Brooke!

Buck, wait! It's too dangerous.

BUCK: (LAUGHING) Whoo hoo!

BUCK: (SINGING) And if that pterodactyl don't fly

BUCK: Keep it up, dinos.

BUCK: Mammals, we've made it!

BUCK: Mmm...

BUCK: Steady.

BUCK: Um, a little help.

Buck. Where's Buck?

But allow your spirit to roam free...

But aren't I part of your family?

But billions and billions of years ago...

But how do you tell someone they're doomed?

But I see a sweet guy...

But I want to share everything with you.

But I'm afraid our lives will be over

But I'm getting better, right?

But if we propel this magnetic material

But if we somehow survive

But if you insist, I won't resist

But it makes me happy.

But maybe a little trashy.

But maybe it's the universe telling us we won't.

But my freaky little brother may be right.

But my friends call me Buck.

But some escaped.

But then today, she giggled.

But we both know this is for the best.

But we're kind of in a hurry.

But what about the dino birds?

But what if he can't this time?

But will you be my mate for life?

But you did a great job on the wedding.

But you heard them.

But you just said... (STAMMERS)

But you lit up the sky for me?

But you're marrying our daughter.

But, Dad... (SCREAMS)

Buttercups!

By homicidal 30 foot dino birds...

Bye bye.

Bye, Buck!

Bye, Sidney!

Can you guys deal with this later?

Can't wait to see all those dead relatives I hate.

Careful!

Catching mad air on the half pipe!

Caterpillar!

Change isn't easy, but it's part of life.

Class

Cold, dry, inhospitable to life.

Come on, Bro Dad. Bring it in.

Come on, El, you're not still mad at me, are you?

Come on, Julian. Wanna go?

Come on, kids. Dive!

Come on, let's go!

Come on, Romeo. Walk with me.

Come on! Let's get out of here.

Come on. Let's get you cleaned up.

Come on. We need to take cover.

Come out of their cocoons.

Congratulations, weasel.

Could you help me, please?

Crash and Eddie reporting for duty.

CRASH: It's a beautiful day out here on the ice...

CRASH: Okay, it's our turn.

Crikey!

Daddy's gonna blind his remaining eye

Deadly asteroid screaming towards Earth.

Death defying Danger denying

Definitely the eyes.

Definitely the eyes.

Did I hit my head? What's happening here?

Did it work?

Did not see that coming.

Did you know their power grants eternal youth?

Didn't know sucking was a strategy.

DIEGO: Hey, Buck.

DIEGO: I knew it!

DIEGO: Wait a second. (SNIFFS)

DIEGO: You are so funny, J.

Diego?

Dino birds, and the end of the world.

Disgusting! Loved that!

Dismissed

Do we have to steal other creatures' eggs?

Do you hear that?

Do you mind?

Do you really think I'd waste the only chance I have left?

Do you think they know

Do you think you'll be ready for...

Do you want to know what I love about our family?

Do you...

Does it, you little...

Does Shira ever just giggle?

Does that look like a problem to you?

Doesn't look like a lot of

Don't ever do that again.

Don't give me that look. She said both.

Don't know how we'll go on without you, Buck.

Don't worry, ma'am.

Don't you hurry me.

Doomsday prepping going on in here.

Double time, everyone. We need that big crystal.

Downward Dog!

Dream Weaver

Dream Weaver

Dream!

Earth's most powerful propulsion device

Eddie!

Eh...

Either way, we've been over this, Diego.

Ellie, I... Uh...

Ellie, we've got to get everyone off the volcano.

ELLIE: Incoming!

ELLIE: It was a good one, wasn't it?

ELLIE: It was a good one, wasn't it?

Ellie?

End of the world collision thing?

Even going underground won't save us this time.

Every crystal counts.

Every hundred million years or so,

Everybody make it?

Everybody, jump!

Everyone gets nervous.

Everyone should go. And duck. Possibly cover!

Everyone, try not to create any sort of friction.

Ew! Your breath is awful.

Excellent! And dirty word processed.

Fabulous. Zippity dippity.

Faster, faster!

Father of the bride pays for the wedding.

Feel free to hang or, you know, whatever.

FEMALE GUEST: I feel so bad for Ellie.

Figaro

Finally! We have superpowers!

Fine. It's a great plan. Dynamite!

Flowers ain't cheap.

Fly me away to the bright side of the moon

Folks, I'm outta cake, but I got salami!

For all that is precious and dear

For you, my mom in law to be.

Foreboding intruders Have made such a mess

Forget the asteroid.

Found it!

Fountain of Never Getting Old!

FRANCINE: Sidney? Mmm?

Francine.

Franny, we can work this out. Is this about the bikini? Ow!

Franny. Franny, help!

Friction is what now?

From diverting the asteroid...

Fun sucker!

Funky Chicken. Jiggy Jelly. Mashed Potato.

Gimme a hug, Bro Dad!

Give him a chance. Bond with him.

Gladys?

Go help your sister.

Go! I'll lead them away.

Good egg.

Good gravy, Buck. What have you done?

Good news, everyone!

Good thing we're all here to help each other.

Goodbye, sweetie.

Gotta do the thing.

Grab every crystal you can find.

Grampy was a confused and angry weasel.

Granny, come on! Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

GRANNY: Hello? Angel?

GRANNY: I'm in here, too.

Granny!

Granny? Granny?

Granny's alive!

Great!

Greetings, mammals!

Ha!

Happy Anniversary, honey!

Happy?

Has a skinned knee and a stuffy nose.

Hasta manana, J man.

Have a good night. And leave right now!

Have pummeled the earth in the same spot.

Have you told them about our decision yet?

Have you tried the shrimp?

He didn't forget.

He fakes knowing how to play.

He fakes right. He fakes left.

He forgot!

He is here. Talking to you.

He is our everything.

He knows all.

He knows the cosmos.

He meant well.

He.

He'd be the best one.

He's a good kid, Manny. I like his philosophy.

He's a raving loon!

He's going to need two eye patches.

He's gone.

He's right.

He's stumped. (LAUGHS)

Heave! ALL: Ho!

Heave! ALL: Ho!

Hello, handsome.

Hello!

Hello?

Helping?

Here he is.

Here you are, my lady.

Here.

Here's my bill. What?

Hey, Bro Kid.

Hey, come on!

Hey, don't cry.

Hey, Fuzzball...

Hey, hey. It's Manny!

Hey, hey. Right.

Hey, I know this is going to sound super forward...

Hey, it sounds like it's slowing down.

Hey, look! I found another one.

Hey, Peaches!

Hey, that wasn't there before.

Hey, we're going to stop this thing

Hey, what's gotten into you?

Hey, zapheads!

Hey! (MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey! Easy there, Llama!

Hey! Why don't you go do a guy thing?

Hey! Yours is attracted to me.

Hi, Buck!

Hi, kids!

Hi! (CHUCKLES)

Hi. (SCREAMING)

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Kind of chilly.

Hmm. What's all that flash and dazzle about?

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hold on.

Holy snowballs! It's freezing up here.

Honestly, I'm worried the weasel's right.

Honey, I scored! Did you see me?

Hors d'oeuvres?

Hot tubbin' just got a whole lot hotter.

How about a game before bedtime?

How about another hand for Ellie?

How are we supposed to change

How are you going to handle all this without our help?

How can he tell it's a she?

How can we think about our future

How can we think about our future

How is this clingy? (GRUNTS)

How many eggs did you poach, little brother?

How scary?

How stupid can you be?

How you doing?

How you snuck into this family.

How'd you do it?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Ah!

Huh? What's wrong?

Huh? You don't look a day over 275.

Hurry, Granny.

I admire your bloodthirstitude, Gertie.

I always knew it would take someone very special

I am a rabid beast who gives rabies to babies.

I am deeply honored.

I am over 400 years old. Mmm hmm.

I am the pint sized protector Of this lost world

I believe we can reach the morning light

I believe we can reach the morning light

I believe you can get me through the night

I believe you can get me through the night

I believe you can get me through the night

I better take you to him.

I can do the thing.

I can feel your heart beating.

I can still hear her sweet, shrill voice...

I can't believe he pulled it off!

I can't believe it.

I can't go. How can I go?

I can't! A ring?

I can't. You're too clingy.

I didn't know it was poison ivy.

I didn't mean to do it.

I do like Julian.

I do.

I don't get 'em. (WHISTLES)

I don't know what that is. Hmm.

I don't know what to believe.

I don't know. I don't know! What am I gonna do?

I don't think so. Manny!

I don't wanna leave you guys.

I don't? I'll see you later.

I even smiled this time.

I got you. Don't worry, I got you.

I guess the universe was smiling on us.

I guess we're in.

I have a good feeling about this.

I have a message, bullies not welcome

I have an idea.

I have no idea why she's acting so weird.

I have one eye but all my original teeth.

I have so many questions for you.

I knew it. I was right. There's no paradise.

I know it sounds suboptimal, but the good news is...

I know you're ready. Now you have to let go.

I know! I'll be your wedding planner!

I know. But Julian and I

I like it. But how?

I like this kid. MANNY: Buck.

I mean that thing is enormous.

I mean, couldn't we just go vegan?

I mean, I like the ring, but no.

I need a bubble bath or a massage.

I need my foot cream.

I need to ask you something.

I need to ask...

I need to let my anger out. Let it out!

I never thought I'd say this,

I now pronounce you...

I owe you bigtime, pal.

I read the tablet wrong. The asteroid is a lot closer.

I read this tablet front to back.

I rule the ice now.

I suggest we all stay away from the trees.

I sure hope this isn't a... Oh!

I taste iron, carbon.

I think I'll call you... Bronwyn.

I think we get it.

I think we should just... Excuse me!

I think we're all gonna get it.

I think you meant she.

I thought you guys were gonna live with us

I thought you liked Julian.

I try. But usually they run away too fast.

I wanna stay forever with my superstar

I wanna stay forever with my superstar

I wanna stay forever with my superstar

I want to hit something. Someone give me their face.

I want you to know that if we don't make it...

I was so afraid you'd forgotten.

I wish it had a face so I could smack it.

I would never do something like this.

I'll catch the crew that poached your egg.

I'll never doubt you again.

I'll wait. I have all the time in the world.

I'm 326! Whoo!

I'm a wittle baby.

I'm breaking up with you.

I'm Brooke.

I'm getting butterflies!

I'm getting nauseous.

I'm gonna watch some butterflies

I'm Julian.

I'm like a hockey ninja!

I'm not giving you my crystals.

I'm not leaving you! We'll do this together!

I'm really conflicted right now.

I'm really gonna miss you guys when we leave.

I'm really sorry, Mr. Llama.

I'm sorry, Sid.

I'm sorry. You want to destroy our home?

I'm trying!

I'm winking under the eye patch.

I'mouttacakebutIgotsalami!

I've been pent up too long. (SCREAMS)

I've been struck by lightning more times...

I've got her scent. Come on!

If that asteroid hits, we all die.

If the asteroid is just gonna take us out?

If there's a leak...

If we can launch enough of these into space...

If we don't do something fast...

If we never get married...

If we stop the weasel and his friends

If we survive, I'm still getting married

If we survive, we lose our daughter.

If you care about us...

If you stayed, we could do this all the time.

Imagine. You're in the woods, looking for food...

In a quest for hockey supremacy.

In a way that we don't know about yet.

In Geotopia.

In your face, space rock!

In your lower spine.

Inside the tram at all times.

Inside the volcano by sealing the vents.

Instead of running away from a deadly asteroid...

Into the atmosphere...

Into the forest. Chop, chop.

Into the volcano.

Ipso facto, thusly and ergo...

Is all the payment I need.

Is it my time, angel?

Is it the eyes that hurt...

Is it true you helped save the world from an asteroid?

Is not!

Is she okay?

Is that a llama? I hate llamas.

Is that too much to ask?

Is too, you old coot.

Isn't she gorgeous?

Isn't sunshine nature's sunshine?

It came from the sky,

It includes all that we see, and all that we know.

It kills the weasel and everyone else...

It lasted 14 minutes!

It looks just like you.

It must be nice to have a loving father.

It must desire our magnetic crystals.

It was five minutes to midnight...

It was just a meteor shower, and the show's over.

It'll be destroyed either way.

It'll be our paradise.

It'll kill us no matter where we went.

It'll take your mind

It's a girl thing.

It's a good thing you got your mother's eyes...

It's a tradition I just invented.

It's been so long since anyone's given me flowers.

It's Buck!

It's called good parenting.

It's entirely possible.

It's just a loving father

It's just beginning.

It's like super sized, extra value icy.

It's like yes with a bunch of s's...

It's magnetically attracted to this place

It's massive, it's...

It's my father. He's crazy.

It's not like we're in a forest.

It's not my fault the kid has no reflexes.

It's okay, sweetheart. Daddy's...

It's only been twelve minutes.

It's Peaches meets Manny.

It's so dark and squishy in here.

It's time for us to embrace it again.

It's your time, sweetie.

Julian taught it to me.

Julian, don't move!

Julian, why aren't you helping her?

JULIAN: Oh, you're gonna love it.

JULIAN: Oh!

JULIAN: Oh! So close!

JULIAN: Whoa! (SIGHS)

JULIAN: Yeah!

Julian!

Julian! Whoa!

Julian...

Just from a scientific standpoint.

Just watch the puck all the way into the stick.

Kablooie!

Kids are afraid of us.

Kind of ironic, don't you think?

Kind of want to roam for a while.

Kudos. It is lovely.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Leads to a tremendous explosion.

Let her stroll into the wilderness...

Let me get this straight.

Let us loosen our limbs and open our minds.

Let's go, kids.

Let's just hope we haven't lost our touch.

Let's see if the tablet's ancient wisdom will guide us.

Let's show them how it's done!

Light 'em up, up, up

Light 'em up, up, up I'm on fire

Like a normal family?

Like you and Mom.

Like, Ellie. Life's great with her.

Listen up, planetary defense team.

Listen, big guy...

Listen, Llama, I will go nuts and granola on your butt!

Loaded into the volcano, pronto.

Look I'm sorry. It's not me.

Look on the bright side.

Look what you're charging for flowers!

Look within. You're the dummy. (SPITS)

Look, the last two asteroids

Look! There's more coming! (ALL GASPING)

Looks like you got a new hockey partner

Looks like you're not stopping that asteroid now,

Lose something?

M okay.

Mad air on the half pipe!

Mama may mee mee.

Mammoth meets mammoth.

Manny, get ready to run.

Manny, I have a plan!

Manny, the only thing I want is a life with Peaches.

Manny, we have a problem.

MANNY: And whenever you decide to come back...

MANNY: Oh! (PEACHES GASPS)

MANNY: The cave! Get inside!

MANNY: We might wanna think

Manny!

Manny!

Manny?

Mano a mano.

Marco? Polo?

Mars looked like this.

Maybe he'll be able to help us.

Maybe it's the quiet before the crazy?

Maybe she got hit in the head with a puck?

Maybe she wandered off?

Me, too!

Meanie.

Meema me moo ma.

Mess with Granny, get knocked on your fanny.

Meteor shower!

Mi amor, so many ladies have tried and failed...

Mmm hmm.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Mmm?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. (GASPS)

Mom, where are they?

Mommy, hold me!

Most def.

Mountain range, asteroid, boom!

Move! Move!

My love, my love, my love

My love, my love, my love

My love, my love, my love

My love, my love, my love

My love, my love, my love

My love, my love, my love

My nose is dangerously close to my butt.

My super crew Stick together like super glue

My superstar

My superstar

My superstar

My superstar My superstar

My superstar My superstar

My superstar My superstar

My superstar My superstar

Nature's sunshine.

Nearly enough time with your friends.

NEIL deBUCK WEASEL: Mars.

NEIL deBUCK WEASEL: The universe...

Never leave the trail.

New topic. We're all about to die.

Next, dinosaurs, mountain range, asteroid.

No friction. Got it.

No home to speak of

No need to thank me

No plan is the best plan. That's my philosophy.

No way! You want to play a game with me? Wow!

No worries. Because I've got a plan.

No, Dad. I won't let you.

No, no, no!

No, no, no. Sid, sweetie, don't do that.

No, no. Not yet!

No, thank you.

No, you may not.

No, you psychopath!

No, you seize it and you cherish it.

No, you're the dummy.

No, you're the dummy. No, you're the dummy.

No! Jiggling makes her feel worse!

No! They're free! We're in a forest!

No! Times one million?

No! Tree!

No. I'm not still mad.

No. I'm waiting for the right time.

No. Yours is attracted to me.

Nobody was whupped. There was no whupping.

None of us do. You see, there's this thing in the sky.

Nonsense. Only the best for my one... true... love.

Not me! Love them and leave them,

Not now. I have a problem.

Not on the lips, geezer!

Not yet, you're not.

Not!

Now how the devil

Now I'd give anything just to see her get married,

Now let's get out of here!

Now let's make sure that asteroid hits.

Now let's not linger on this, but, yes...

Now we know exactly what we don't know how to do.

Now we'll be with each other forever.

Now we're all doomed! Doomed!

Now your babies are crying.

Now, let's figure out a way to launch it into space!

Now, we better get on the road

Now.

Oaf! Simpleton! Nincompoop!

Of course we'll make it, and we will get married.

Of the University of Meow Meow Meow Meow...

Off all this end of the world stuff.

Oh I never knew I Would feel so good

Oh I never knew I Would have it all

Oh I never knew I Would live the dream

Oh I never knew I Would make it out

Oh I never knew I Would see the day

Oh, and the zombies! Don't forget the zombies!

Oh, asteroid's still a day off.

Oh, boy.

Oh, Brooke, I don't know what to say.