Family Guy - Season 13 Edit

A And how do you even know it's mine?

A Are you just gonna leave it on the table?

A Are you okay with someone who wanders the desert,

A bitter alcoholic failure who can only hang out with a baby.

A bunch of anti Muslim stuff.

A couple weeks? Y You're not leaving me alone with these things.

A five!

A good position to sit on the ground.

A greater team than..

A hydration plan for people who overheat?

A joke that angered some bloggers

A key to a call box, a soft rubber truncheon,

A little more exotic

A live turkey who loves Rollerblading.

A lot of people will pay good money for pictures of sexy feet.

A lot of people's jobs are riding on this

A marathon?

A nice day for stabbing a friend in the back

A Persian guy would say is a little much.

A picture of her privates.

A rabbit's foot, a penknife, a bottle cap, a compass...

A relation ship.

A short, but handsome, slightly hairy, newly single salesman

A slingshot! It's so simple and pure

A supposi what? What am I supposed to do with it?

A thousand times, and now he's making science stuff.

A what? A kebab

A whole festival of muddy boobs.

A whole, uncut g****.

A... a three way?

Aah aah!

Aah, how does water make it dry?!

Aah, my back!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! (grunts)

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Get that enormous thing out of my face!

Aah! Hey Hey, there, buddy

Aah! I remember everything!

Aah! Meg, I'm injured! Please help me! I smell gas!

Aah! What did I just tell you?!

Abortion! Abortion! You need to get a big fat abortion right this second!

About any part of me.

About any part of me.

About being present and grounded.

About finding a special someone.

About how brave I was when we walked past that cemetery?

About how I'm too handsome to work at a brewery,

About how things aren't the way they used to be.

About what a relationship is.

About what a relationship is.

About what makes you sleepy afterwards.

About your bachelor party stripper stuff.

Absolutely

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Academics are extremely important

Actually, Evan thinks I'm a natural

Actually, Evan, I've been thinking about this,

Actually, I met a photographer at Stewie's school yesterday,

Actually, I never left.

Actually, Peter, I want my first time to be with...

Actually, we just finished

Adding you two to the reservation.

Affluent means rich.

After all, I used to be a Pete in the box.

After all, I used to work the suicide hotline.

After all, I'm Jesus.

After all, I'm the guy who taught old Asian people how to get on the subway.

After all, I'm the guy who taught old Asian people how to get on the subway.

After all, Nelson Mandela said it's our obligation to shine

After all, this isn't just a vacation,

After sex and bruised your boob?

After that, he won't be able to pull out of that deal.

After the dog? After the dog.

After the movie, I got the taste for it.

After the show

After the show, Lou,

After you left, I ate cookie dough off the stomach

Against their husbands. What's next, huh?

Ah, ah, crap, I did it to myself!

Ah, boy, it's nice to be home.

Ah, come on, Ronnie, she bought the dress.

Ah, crap

Ah, crap, this is Joe's dream

Ah, damn it!

Ah, damn it! What the hell, Peter?!

Ah, don't think of it as 20 years

Ah, geez, I'm sorry.

Ah, I deserved it.

Ah, I I don't know. I think it's Number Six.

Ah, I wouldn't worry, Lois.

Ah, I'm gonna miss my daddy!

Ah, I'm obsessed with her

Ah, let's see, what else? What else? What else?

Ah, look at you, Brian, right at home with us dumb guys.

Ah, no no offense, Lois, but that stuff

Ah, Peter!

Ah, sweet! Cows! Let's tip them over.

Ah, the editor of the paper owed me a favor

Ah, the future.

Ah, there he is!

Ah, they always need more cops.

Ah, they'll be fine. They'll bounce back.

Ah, this is so relaxing

Ah, time for a relaxing, sponsored daydream.

Ah, what is that?

Ah, what the hell. * Having an adventure *

Ah, whatever, I'm fine.

Ah, yeah, that was all bone!

Ah, yeah.

Ah, yeah.

Ah, you're in big trouble, Boppo.

Ah, you're just not getting it, Lois

Ah, you're too young. You don't know.

Ah!

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Bug!

Ah! I knew he didn't understand the plan!

Ah! Kill me! This hurts too much!

Ah! What's happening?!

Ah.

Ah. Kind of short armed it.

Ah... Morgan.

Aha! Intellectual theft!

Aha! There you go

Ain't nothing gotta be nothing, huh?

All anybody remembers about your argument is that you're in a wheelchair!

All I can say is..

All I do is sit in the bathroom and play on my phone.

All I'm asking is that you give me the break that my childhood never did.

All I'm asking is that you give me the break that my childhood never did.

All of 'em.

All of it, all of it.

All of the above.

All our toothbrushes were in that one woman's glass this morning.

All right

All right, according to Cleveland,

All right, back in the car, kids

All right, Brian, first order of business..

All right, Brian, it's time for you to take one of these pills from the vet.

All right, but can you hurry it up? I got band practice later.

All right, but I'll be back in a moment

All right, but let me just send the pictures

All right, calm down, Brian.

All right, cell phones away, eyes on your own paper,

All right, Chris, acting as host

All right, Chris, I reviewed your textbook,

All right, Chris, it's 1798,

All right, Chris, let's discuss what you've learned so far.

All right, Chris, that was the British Parliament, 1912.

All right, Chris, this is where you, as host,

All right, Chris, you got a lot riding

All right, come on, buddy. Let's get out of here.

All right, come on, I've got to drive you to daycare

All right, come on, Stewie.

All right, cow. This is what you get for standing.

All right, everyone out of here

All right, fair enough.

All right, fine.

All right, fine. Since you'll all be gone,

All right, finished a chapter.

All right, first of all, it seems like

All right, foot fetish it is.

All right, give me that phone and get back to work.

All right, great.

All right, guys, here it is.

All right, guys, here's what I'm thinking...

All right, guys, how are we doing on Peter's bail money?

All right, guys, let's not get discouraged, okay?

All right, guys, let's pay the check and get out of here.

All right, guys, this'll be the headquarters for our new detective agency.

All right, guys. Ideas, ideas

All right, have fun. I'm late.

All right, here it goes.

All right, I have $50 for the first person

All right, I know most of you haven't traveled with me,

All right, I need you to buy a birthday present for my friend Jeff...

All right, I want tonight to be perfect.

All right, I'll do it

All right, I'll give you the formula.

All right, I'll go find him. God, I'm sorry.

All right, I'm going to lunch

All right, I'm gonna go eat a sandwich with one hand

All right, I'm gonna go get some more coffee

All right, I'm gonna need three coffins...

All right, I'm gonna need three coffins...

All right, I'm happy again

All right, I've got the return pad,

All right, if I'm gonna give Brian his medicine,

All right, it's a deal.

All right, Jesus,

All right, Jesus, these speed date nights are the best way

All right, just leave the turkey alone.

All right, kids,

All right, kids, let's see what's under Christmas...

All right, kids, now pay attention, all right?

All right, knock yourself out.

All right, Landon, let's see how you like it

All right, let's check our YouTube channel and see how we're doing.

All right, let's dope her up good. Turn that mouth off.

All right, let's go back six minutes and try this again.

All right, let's lay some ground rules here.

All right, let's split up.

All right, let's try sideways on the elbow.

All right, listen, fella, your game is confusion.

All right, Lois, let's just leave our bags here

All right, look, forget the party.

All right, me and the guys are off

All right, Meg, I'll take that test for you.

All right, Meg, while we take these,

All right, Mr. Griffin, these pills will clear up Brian's condition.

All right, now help me grind their horns into boner pills.

All right, now let me just take off these security tags for you.

All right, now, who's got something?

All right, okay, don't anyone sing anything else

All right, our first counseling exercise will be

All right, Peter, Cleveland says you should help with the chores.

All right, Peter, get the camera ready. I got a viral Internet video

All right, Peter, if we're gonna find your car,

All right, Peter, Liam Neeson must be

All right, Peter, next is Jamie.

All right, Peter, that was fortuitous. But play it cool.

All right, Quagmire, now when you introduce us

All right, Rupert, the fertilization device is complete.

All right, see you later. Where are you off to?

All right, so I guess I am the tallest one of us.

All right, somebody say something else.

All right, sounds good.

All right, standing it is.

All right, take it down a notch, Stewie.

All right, that's enough!

All right, that's it.

All right, that's kind of funny. Tough, but fair.

All right, the championship is on the line.

All right, there they are.

All right, there's no pudding, but there is a kid up here.

All right, we did it!

All right, we'll just tell Chris he's dreaming,

All right, we'll ride it,

All right, we're just going to take a quick Capp smear

All right, we've met number one.

All right, well, a U.S. convoy was ambushed in Kabul this morning, so now

All right, well, I suppose I could look into

All right, where to next?

All right, you guys, before we begin,

All right, you guys, Jesus's birthday party is gonna be epic.

All right, you have a good day.

All right, you made it. Now twirl that long hair sticking out of your face mole.

All right, you made it. Now twirl that long hair sticking out of your face mole.

All right, you're coming with us.

All right! Awesome! Let's do it!

All right! Now, let's turn up the TV real loud

All right! Yeah!

All right? Everybody knows my face now

All right? I just..

All right? So, we got to get you on Facebook

All right? You're completely messing things up for me.

All right. Good bye, everybody.

All right. Uh, that'll be, uh...

All right. Well, we have got work to do,

All right. You won't be sorry.

All the new hairs we're getting.

All the way back? Nope.

All this fighting is making me so damn hot.

All those Stephen King books.

Almond butter and no sugar added fruit preserves...

Almost done vacuuming the rug!

Almost done. There, all finished

Already on it, Lois. I bribed one of the busboys.

Also wants ice cream.

Also, her lipstick is all smeared.

Also, I gave the string quartet the sheet music

Also, I loaned you $40 for that Lumineers T shirt,

Also, it's designed so you can wear it on your butt.

Also, Matthew McConaughey is in here, too!

Although I don't think he's using them properly.

Although smoking and sitting does have its moments.

Although that's really up to the two of you.

Although, I got to say,

Although..

Always be forgettable.

Always keep an emergency six pack in my trunk

Am I gonna be okay? Am I gonna be okay? Wait, how do you get pinkeye?

Amazon Prime... like the eighth best way to watch TV.

An invitation for each of you to Quagfest.

An itchy ankle under that cast

And a black suit for me.

And a little more mad at the guys

And a map of the city. Please hurry!

And a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie.

And acceptable at a wedding? Hop on.

And after we get done with this, you're going to talk a lot

And again in pale imitations,

And all any of you can do is stare

And all that came out. Ah, that explains it.

And all that matters is you and Lady Blue.

And all the girls laughed at me,

And all we're doing is standing in the kitchen, drinking wine?

And although I will never get over the pain

And an impressive amount, I'd say.

And and don't worry about me. I I'll see you real soon.

And and I'm just happy to be here.

And and Joe, you sure you don't mind taking care of my cat?

And and the Son of God's first time should be special.

And answer everything with empty platitudes.

And apparently, that's more important than hating women

And arm strength

And as for you, Tin Man, a 19 year old kid in Cincinnati

And as long as I don't hit a person on a boat, it's okay.

And ask men to pee in your hands.

And ask strange men to pee in your cupped hands.

And ask that you not sentence my son to jail,

And asking if I'm the Captain Phillips guy.

And attach the pen directly to the heart, right?

And be rude to everyone for no reason.

And before we start, who's giving me a ride home?

And before you judge your mother...

And besides, he's the one who quit

And besides, I'm the only one of the two of us

And besides, my dad always spends Christmas

And besides, my week as a helper mommy is done now,

And besides, think about all your fans.

And Butter

And call it your own!

And can you please explain to the courtroom what a Frosty Jim is.

And can you please explain to the courtroom what a Frosty Jim is.

And carefully airbrushed, out of date photo,

And check this out

And Chris will come with me

And Cleveland is Magic Johnson

And cocaine.

And cough... cough like you never coughed before.

And design elements have been similarly infringed,

And destroy the tumor from within.

And did you put a skateboard in the washing machine?

And don't be afraid to hit each other.

And don't bother coming back until you do!

And don't tell anybody about this.

And don't worry, I only hired women

And Donna says she hasn't seen him for two days.

And drove off a loc...

And drove off a local bridge.

And Duff loves me

And during, like, the one second I was looking down at my phone and not at him.

And even in death, I'm a better critic than you

And everyone in my family's a moron.

And execute them.

And figure out how to handle this.

And fill out the invoice with the other.

And finger sniffing, and all you can talk about

And for dessert, the only bad cookie in the world.

And for every dozen we sell, we donate 50 cents

And get it over with.

And get Meg out of there!

And get that procedure where you get two wieners?

And give them to your friends

And got a D!

And got on a BuzzFeed listicle.

And have a big red ring on my bum for a week?

And have been washed in the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

And he got shot in a hotel

And he he never wants to do fun stuff together like before.

And he left with someone else

And he put it back in her mouth.

And he said he had to take you to dialysis.

And he wants me to model for him.

And he'll be back to his old self in no time

And honor the message of the book

And hopefully, you'll bring some lessons back

And how 'bout he got a frog friend

And how a man should treat his woman.

And how a man should treat his woman.

And how are you today, sir?

And I broke this guy's neck just now.

And I can understand losing a friend and feeling rejected

And I cannot stress this enough... it is not a throwing watch.

And I did get to kill a guy. What?!

And I did learn a little something from watching Chris and Heather.

And I didn't even have to change the handwriting, 'cause you write like a girl.

And I didn't want to admit I was a coward.

And I don't believe in tests.

And I don't like what this place has become

And I even took your bath for you.

And I find in favor of Duff

And I got a baby at home.

And I haven't learned a thing.

And I hope it's not awkward that she's a little person

And I I'm just not in that kind of mood right now.

And I just can't get my eyes off that man with the tall head.

And I just can't get my eyes off that man with the tall head.

And I just kind of got into the friend zone.

And I just need to quickly respond, and there I am

And I just...

And I know I screwed that all up for you,

And I know she'll make you very happy, too.

And I love you.

And I miss that friend.

And I need to improve my score to get into a good college.

And I need you to scoop them out with this fishnet.

And I need your little hat.

And I think that one is blind.

And I thought, "Hey! Put that in a book!"

And I want all my pals to give me a good ribbing.

And I want nothing to do with you!

And I would just laugh and laugh,

And I would love to attempt

And I... I should've just stayed out of it

And I'd also think you're putting the moves on Meg.

And I'll stick the suppository in.

And I'll think of you whenever I choke on a link sausage. Take care, buddy.

And I'm a lawyer.

And I'm all like, "Oh, you deserve better."

And I'm gluten free,

And I'm gonna win that bowling tournament, with or without you!

And I'm gonna.

And I'm having the best time.

And I'm kind of good looking. I mean, I'm no model, but...

And I'm kind of spent.

And I'm not sure being a foot fetish model is for me.

And I'm sorry I caused such problems in your marriage.

And I'm sorry I've been such a jerk about it.

And I'm the baby!

And I'm trying to keep the more attractive ones in this area.

And I'm very confident we can turn a profit.

And I'm... I'm sorry I messed it up.

And I've also been experiencing a little...

And I've decided I don't want to go into the family business.

And I've programmed a tour of the various historical events

And if anyone wants to keep it, it's here in this Tupperware.

And if I charge my first patient $117,000, I'm right back in it.

And if I fail ninth grade, I won't amount to anything.

And if I got to get shot by ooga booga people,

And if I remember correctly,

And if that's not bad enough,

And if you get nervous, just do what I always do,

And if you have any other questions,

And if you're willing, I'd like to be friends with you guys again.

And in local news,

And is very expensive and inconvenient for all my friends.

And it says "Sock it to me,"

And it's all foggy in there.

And it's all thanks to you!

And it's all thanks to you!

And it's made me incredibly horny.

And it's time I do the same thing.

And Italy before pasta.

And just doing stuff, did you mean that?

And just last month, we had to come here

And Kimmie didn't get it.

And let a sweet girl see that side of you.

And let Mother Nature spray it all over your face.

And let you guys talk about whatever you're gonna talk about.

And like that wasn't enough, then we had a pop quiz in history.

And live life to the fullest.

And look at these comments.

And look, if you really want to learn how to bang that thing,

And make them available for purchase

And maybe a gross microwaved sandwich.

And maybe through our shared relationship with the Lord,

And maybe watch Lois shush Peter while they watch Nashville.

And me. I'm here, too.

And mint chip ice cream. But only mint chip.

And Modern Family crossover episode

And most importantly, it was a visually spectacular war.

And Muhammad Ali can't even talk anymore?

And my buddy's wife the year before that.

And my DVR! It'll be full in a week!

And my mom, well, let's just say, she was a little promiscuous.

And neither was anything in that movie.

And no offense, but I'm not taking advice

And none of them got past the fourth picture.

And not "writing." A real job.

And not driven by marketing or..

And nothing else. Sounds good to me.

And now he'll slowly grow to hate it over the next 20 years.

And now I want to hear all about your day.

And now I want to hear all about your day.

And now I'm gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.

And now the viral video of the week, with over seven million views.

And now this again

And now you've gotten our turkey stolen

And now, international news from Al Jarreau Jazeera.

And now, to my amphibious sky submarine.

And often when kids have trouble in school,

And on Saturday, she's hosting her book club, so I have to drop by,

And on Saturday, she's hosting her book club, so I have to drop by,

And on the same week when my sister and I

And one new friend.

And out his stupid Irish fudge knot.

And Peter and Kimmie.

And pretend we're driving them.

And ranch dressing, you fat !

And real estate, huh, Brian?

And remember, kids, TV violence is fine

And Robin Tunney. Huh?

And sand and sand and good night!

And second of all... Ow!

And see what people wrote on their whiteboards.

And see who buys luggage at the airport.

And sent my book to a publisher

And she didn't even say anything clever about it!

And she has chlamydia fingers

And she just says whatever?

And show her who you are.

And show the court I'm not the monster they say I am.

And significant prodding from my therapist,

And since he eats, like, nine candy bars a day,

And skip the horses and illiterate servants.

And smear it on the grass, he's good to go.

And so do I!

And so... you've got your heart.

And some preschool applications, because we are already way behind.

And someone I feel very close to.

And soon we'll be proud parents, like Ron Livingston's parents.

And spend more time with her. My own wife!

And stop asking people about their underwear.

And submit.

And suddenly, that's all you're about

And swim in a hole.

And tallow, right? You cool with that?

And tell me about your business

And tell me if it's going to be an imbecile or a cretin?

And thank you for not being a band of hippie murderers.

And thanks for taking the time.

And thanks to you, I did.

And Thanksgiving is ruined

And that barf is, like, free to take

And that I'm gonna be a huge success.

And that is going to stop right now.

And that is why chest hair

And that other dog? Yep

And that's all I ever wanted

And that's that's... that's bad dog stuff. That that's not good dog stuff!

And that's... that's just, like, "ugh."

And the cousin of the Countess of Wessex.

And the first day of the rest of her life."

And the greatest place to end it all.

And the just regular conclusion of the other story.

And the nurse told me there's blood in my stool.

And the parts I need to fix the return pad

And the time machine is powering up right now.

And the whoosh of the wool.

And the yard's got plenty of room for little ones.

And then bored out of my mind for eight hours.

And then had lunch at a gastropube.

And then I die.

And then I'd lose Brian forever.

And then it came out that they all think I'm fat and old

And then make a slapping sound on my bald head with 'em.

And then setting the photos to an emotional song. Look.

And then setting the photos to an emotional song. Look.

And then she cried.

And then the machine does whatever it has to do to me

And then the woman, um, pretends it's a man.

And then watch Nanny McPhee in the room.

And then we had to root through her feces to find it.

And then when we find it, we'll actually charge the guy!

And then whispers about how bad she is. Hey.

And then, several days later, we receive them

And there was a kiosk selling little remote control cars.

And there was no toilet paper in the girls' bathroom.

And there's no way I'm gonna get a good score.

And there's something else I got to tell you.

And there's Thailand. Wow.

And they caught him. Good bye, Meg.

And they viciously fight all the time.

And they're coming out of everywhere!

And they're expecting a turkey

And this DNA evidence centrifuge and fingerprint scanner will be my coatrack.

And this is a very important moment.

And those Spider Man mittens... I'll need those, too

And throwing paper bags full of flour at people.

And thus began the Thousand Year War

And to show my appreciation, I got a little something for you.

And trips and totally falls down the hill.

And tweet back to my fans.

And visitors from Quahog, my client, the Duff Brewery,

And wade through the gross Irish and Italians.

And watch Hack Wilson round the bases in a big wool shirt.

And we both cheat at Words With Friends.

And we both cheat at Words With Friends.

And we can get some photos of you on Justin's belly?

And we can hang out when no one else is here.

And we did. And then we took it to the dentist,

And we don't even know where we are

And we don't have any transportation

And we found out and he told us not to say anything?

And we used to be inseparable... like Jack and Jill.

And we wouldn't trade you for any friend in the world.

And we'll get a crew out here to help you both down.

And we're both gonna have a moderate time at the party tonight.

And we're both gonna have a moderate time at the party tonight.

And we're gonna start doing things together.

And we're in the home of Jane Austen.

And we're just trying to protect you.

And we're not gonna count each other's drinks.

And we're not gonna count each other's drinks.

And we're still miles from home!

And we've removed the Matchbox car

And weak substitutions

And welcome back to The Flow.

And welcome to Pleasant Surroundings.

And what about Bonnie? How you getting her back?

And what about those drugstore glasses?

And what are you doing with a live turkey?!

And what is that hair color? Creamy French Dressing?

And what the hell happened to you?

And what's in your pockets?

And what's up with Liam Neeson?

And when Family Guy gave me the opportunity to shoot it,

And when they tell me I'm done, I leave.

And where's the summer camp?

And who has to push it

And why are you playing the news?

And why don't you wash it down with 40 ounces of malt liquor

And with him gone, that makes you the man of the house

And with people like you stealing tubs,

And wonder where our clothes are for the next two days.

And yes, they're persimmons.

And you admit it here in front of everyone?

And you could be our next big star.

And you deserve better than this.

And you got a tight squeeze, but it it ought to fit

And you got nice skin

And you gotta tell her you were wrong and put things back the way they were.

And you just kept popping back up.

And you know what she said to me?

And you said you'd pay me back, so I'm gonna take your bra.

And you think this is gonna be it, huh?

And you won't have to, 'cause Chopper's is open,

And you'd really do it with me?

And you're gonna be a great big fat person.

And you're the only guy in town

And, Daddy, what about the pants that kids today are wearing?

And, frankly, I'm starting to think

And, guys, remember, the pool towels go home with us.

And, hey, as a fellow writer,

And, hey, next time you stay with a family,

And, of course, giving the Thanksgiving toast.

And, uh, Mr. Duckford would like some quackers

And, you know, even though therapy might not be your thing,

And, you know, normally, I'm up five or six times

And..

And... 1,000

Andrea, y you set a place for Jiminy again.

Anne Heche's bunghole, I've already seen it.

Annnd...

ANNOUNCER 2: I'll say, Gary. What's the count?

ANNOUNCER 2: It's two to two in the bottom of the sixth,

ANNOUNCER 2: It's two to two in the bottom of the sixth,

ANNOUNCER 2: Right you are, Gary. I'm gonna see if I can hit him with my apple.

ANNOUNCER 2: Yup. And the longer I watch him,

ANNOUNCER 3: I think you're on to something there.

ANNOUNCER 3: It's quite a game, but man, that guy is ugly.

ANNOUNCER 3: No idea, Bill. But you know, that guy hasn't blinked this entire game.

ANNOUNCER: Will Liam Neeson punch Peter?

Any Irish actors around who might be interested in me?

Any last words?

Any other ice cream makes me want to puke.

Anything bad happen to you.

Anything you want, just don't kill me!

Anything?

Anyway, I am flush

Anyway, I was just rereading

Anyway, I'd like to do an exercise.

Anyway, now I gotta go in front of a judge

Anyway, the point is, I'm sorry.

Anyway, this is gonna be awesome.

Anyway, you got me thinking.

Anyway, you're free to go.

Anywhere is fine.

Apparently the cancer's already in his bones.

Applauding a red velvet cake

April 20.

Apu, a dozen donuts for our albino visitors.

Ar... lot of scumbags out today.

Are a great team!

Are are you sure?

Are are... are you sure?

Are as follows: Cleveland and Lois...

Are being sued for intellectual theft and patent infringement

Are compatible with each other at all.

Are getting away together.

Are having such a big fight, too

Are remarkably wide open

Are the SATs essential?

Are there any steps leading to that alley or is it just a series of gentle ramps?

Are these little packets of weird vitamins

Are they properly sized?

Are watching the Sandler movie That's My Boy.

Are we gonna eat soon?

Are you a "cool" mayor?

Are you a mayor? Yes, I am

Are you all gaining lots of insights?

Are you good at talking about how busy you are?

Are you hurt?

Are you in one, too?

Are you insane?

Are you Kathy Griffin? 'Cause I ain't laughing.

Are you kidding? All you've done is make fun

Are you kidding? You took on the star of Kinsey!

Are you making friends in there, Brian?

Are you ready to go home, Stewie?

Are you serious? Yeah, why not?

Are you sure about that?

Are you sure about this? It seems pretty extreme.

Are you sure about this? It seems pretty extreme.

Are you the guy who's been looking for Liam Neeson?

Are you thinking about killing infants again?

Are you..

Are... are you jealous?

Aren't taken yet

Aren't you gonna blow out your candles, Peter?

Around here glued to your screens.

As a dare, you know it's not, like, an everyday thing

As a father in a hospital getting bad news,

As a representative of Pawtucket Patriot Ale,

As a vengeance crazed Albert Einstein.

As a youth counselor down at my church.

As an airplane or a magic bus?

As another movie thing.

As bad as those 19 hijackers were,

As he or she lay dying.

As long as it lasts the whole week

As long as you don't show a nipple

As long as you're picking up the check.

As someone who occasionally dates the creative muse,

As soon as Brian does it, I'm gonna be on the other side,

As soon as Meg walks through that door,

As special and memorable as it should be.

As sure as I was when I created Lady Gaga.

As the dog on "Frasier."

As the island nation was rocked by a major earthquake,

As the oldest guy here,

As the ten million Christians watching.

As three hours from here in Waterbury, Connecticut,

As you can imagine, it's very personal to me.

As you exit the boat,

At a Dave Matthews' concert.

At his time share in Coral Gables with his girlfriend.

At Natalie Portman and aim the other at...

At Quagfest, a three day festival celebrating

At some of that horrendous debt you've got.

At the end of the night,

At the end of this?

At the funeral, I literally said the words to his wife,

At the same time.

At those Game Boy machines! I'm sick of it!

Attack!

Attention, passengers.

Australia before the shark tooth necklace.

Aw

Aw, and I just helped him pick out that scarf.

Aw, but what...?! That's right,

Aw, come on, Lois. I'll make it up to you.

Aw, come on, Lois. I'll make it up to you.

Aw, come on, man, you didn't ask anyone else to do that!

Aw, crap, this is a girl's bike

Aw, crap!

Aw, crap.

Aw, crap. I'm out of hill.

Aw, crap... looks like they're completely sold out

Aw, did you spill juice on yourself, sweetheart?

Aw, gross, he's getting his nose period.

Aw, how far along are you?

Aw, I moved my foot.

Aw, looks like somebody could use a hug.

Aw, man, I am buzzin' hardcore off of that chaw, man.

Aw, man, I bet that's where Crocodile Dundee eats every night.

Aw, man, that's gonna leave a big hole in their lineup

Aw, Mom

Aw, one of his shoes fell off during the anger

Aw, Quagmire got away with it, and learned nothing.

Aw, that sounds great!

Aw, yeah!

Aw, you like that behind the ear, don't you, boy?

Aw, you were coming here, too? We could've carpooled.

Aw..

Awesome

Awesome! Yeah!

Awesome.

Ay! Oh!

Babe, I told you, it's a business trip.

Babies save relationships!

Back where the payphones used to be.

Balls of feet butt hover like a Chinese guy?

Bart, if we don't keep in touch, I'll kill myself

Based on yesterday's session, and what I found

Bazinga!

Be careful around the really fat one.

Be careful.

Be careful. I think some of them might be cops

Be that as it may,

Because as you know, we work for peanuts!

Because everybody likes a cool toe.

Because he died and went to heaven?

Because he will hurt your family.

Because he's not very nice to me.

Because I am none of the things you are

Because I believe you are sick and in need of help.

Because I didn't want to take all the blame.

Because I don't want him to know about my time machine.

Because I keep finding it in my food.

Because I mention it so much.

Because I think you've been getting bad advice

Because I've got to land a plane

Because I've met the most amazing girl.

Because it points out things

Because it's fun! We're having fun! Rah!

Because men might punch you in the gut and call you a fat idiot,

Because no dog ever voluntarily takes a suppository.

Because otherwise, the line moves too quickly.

Because right now, you're as useless as Black Widow is

Because that... 'ca... because that kid...

Because that's a lot of what this is.

Because there's another buyer who's about to snap it up.

Because they're rail thin, and you're fat

Because we were worried about you,

Because you didn't think they were still acting.

Because your brother isn't here to see them.

Before he gets any dumber. No way.

Before it's too late.

Before it's too late.

Before the invention of the soccer ball.

Before they choose Haagen Dazs.

Before they stick that needle in me

Being awesome

Being friends with women is way too complicated and way too intense for me.

Bend to the left.

Bend to the right.

Benign. It says "benign."

Besides, I got to get this little man in the tub.

Besides, I got to keep training

Besides, saving this ship would mean

Besides, we're in the middle of nowhere.

Best not to think about it

Best of all, most of the good license plates

Bet it's from a girl in the lunchroom

Bet that thing's not even loaded.

Better get my pipe.

Between the avians and the insects.

Between you and the TV.

Big fan.

Big hamburgers. Small hamburgers, too.

Big hamburgers. Small hamburgers, too.

Big moment? Come on, Lois,

Big puffy clouds are very sweet.

Big talk for a guy who looks like a dad

Bonnie, I still don't get why you want to see this house

Bonnie, quick, lock my wheels!

Boo!

Boom. Full house, jokers over instruction cards.

Boop! You are welcome.

Boy, he's really upset.

Boy, I must have been really drunk

Boy, it's so great having someone I can talk to.

Boy, Larry, there's a lot to remember.

Boy, Peter, seems like that obedience school did wonders for Brian.

Boy, they just went right after Cleveland, didn't they?

Boy, they're really going at Donna.

Boy, this light is taking forever!

Boy, this must be killing you.

Boy, when you find a baby's tricycle, it feels like there's nothing you can't do.

Boy, yesterday I'm microwaving a cat,

Boy, you really like to bleed, huh, guy?

Boys and girls, hot moms who are married but looking..

Boys, I got a new home gym.

Br Brian! No!

Brain tumor. How is that possible?

Bravo, Master. Master?

Bravo, Peter, Lois.

Brian abandoned his own son, by the way

Brian especially.

Brian gets another book published?

Brian goes to college? No.

BRIAN Hi, you've reached Brian Griffin

Brian is gonna be just fine.

BRIAN Ruff! Ruff, ruff!

Brian took the SAT for Meg, and it turns out he's an idiot.

Brian was the worst one.

Brian was the worst one.

Brian, are you feeling all right?

Brian, being a dumb guy's not so awful.

Brian, five sales this week. You're killing it

Brian, give him the turkey.

Brian, go outside. Keep guard for Michael Myers.

Brian, have you ever heard of Lou Gehrig's disease?

Brian, I guess

Brian, I I'm worried you're losing yourself in all this

Brian, I love Train

Brian, I need you to take me to the hospital.

Brian, I think the road has a way of telling you

Brian, I think you've taken all of this too far

Brian, I'm concerned something is very wrong with you.

Brian, I'm going to need you to deliver the baby.

Brian, I'm here, too.

Brian, look, an eight foot basket.

Brian, maybe you should be a little less mad at me

Brian, Stewie!

Brian, that's a thousand out of a possible 2,400!

Brian, the good news is we've stopped the bleeding.

Brian, this is our only hope.

Brian, this is your heart

Brian, this is your penis.

Brian, uh...

Brian, up here!

Brian, wait. I'm...

Brian, we can try to make you feel a little less repulsive,

Brian, we have to get on that ship!

Brian, we've got to get on that ship!

Brian, what did they do to you at that school?

Brian, what the deuce?

Brian, why does everything you touch turn to garbage?

Brian, why don't you show Cassandra your Boost Mobile phone?

Brian, you have found your look

Brian, you took him for a walk, right?

Brian, you're all sinewy

Brian, you're not thinking clearly, all right?

Brian, you've got to call the doula!

Brian, your blood work shows that your liver isn't functioning properly.

Brian!

Brian! Brian!

Brian! Dinner!

Brian! Stewie!

Brian! What?

Brian? What are you doing?

Brian...

Brian... we're pregnant!

Bring his girlfriend this year.

Bring it home, we're heroes.

Bring it, use it once,

Brookstone massage chair.

Brother Roscoe, what do you see?

Bulls eyes, Yahoos, Sweet Yarn and cigarettes.

Bunch of drunk, fat, pie faced Irish fools

But a bunch of white people put on sweaters.

But a capful is pretty harmless

But a real star is someone who can sell a dump.

But a wise book once said, "With the heart at stake,

But are somehow never there when people need them?

But are you okay with someone who smokes?

But as your friend, I wanted to let you know early

But at least I know I'm bad,

But at least they do it to your face and own it.

But at least you came by it honestly.

But at the end of the day, I still don't feel fulfilled.

But before we get started,

But before you do, please know I had it pretty rough growing up.

But before you get mad, we also ate the salad

But but don't tell my wife how many porn stars I know

But but I was a bad dog.

But but still, we've had some good times together

But but what if that sexy boy has another bomb?

But did you put the ice cream where the guy said?

But don't want to see Mount Rushmore?

But don't worry, I'll get you through it

But don't worry, our industry's fine

But first, this week's viral video,

But from now on, my cookies are only for these customers

But from strictly eyeballing you, I'd say everything looks fine.

But get ready to see a lot of airport elevators

But have you ever modeled?

But he's so lonely

But how are they gonna enforce it?

But how did you even get access to his butt cheeks?

But how did you get published so quickly?

But I am good at making reservations.

But I bought you a mini cactus

But I can't live without my laptop.

But I could also go for some pudding.

But I don't want to go,

But I don't want to make that trade

But I found a good time with a good pal

But I got to say, being Justin was quite an adventure.

But I got to say, the worst part of being Peter's friend is

But I guess I could go for a cookie.

But I had no idea the situation was so dire.

But I had to bail out Cinnamon's kid.

But I have a problem

But I I feel like you're drawing this out, so

But I I got to go. I have a date.

But I I haven't even had it in, like, 13 years.

But I I thought you were Christian now.

But I just want you to know, if you ever treat a real woman

But I know it was really mean.

But I love you, and I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

But I mean the light within you that makes you an individual

But I never follow through

But I realize that if you're happy,

But I seen our Lord and Savior bring a lady in there

But I suppose anything is possible.

But I think I've learned quite enough

But I used carrots and celery.

But I used to have sex with you,

But I was already kind of in the middle of something,

But I..

But I'd love a second chance

But I'd still like to be friends, and I hope...

But I'm beginning to tap my foot.

But I'm doing this in the name of friendship.

But I'm telling you, it's gonna be a bigger waste of time

But I'm telling you, it's gonna be a bigger waste of time

But I've been too afraid to show it to anybody.

But I've kind of been looking for a new group of friends.

But if it wasn't okay, I wouldn't suggest it.

But if you also put in Edward Furlong's movie, Pecker,

But if you give it a little time, I'm sure you'll get over her.

But if you want to save us a little time,

But in the meantime, please enjoy all our amenities.

But instead release him to my custody so that I,

But it took seeing you guys almost die

But it's not just the main Duff recipe that's been plagiarized

But just rolling up our sleeves and having at it

But lately he seems more focused on marketing

But listen, I I want you guys to roast me.

But my mom did.

But nobody else!

But not anymore. No more thinking, just living.

But not me. I'm a lone wolf.

But now it's time to get to work.

But now that you mention it,

But now we dance!

But now we're like apples and oranges.

But now, I think I speak for all of us

But now, screwing over the people who helped you?

But one slip up, and you'll be deader

But pray to God nobody from school sees us.

But probably not as outraged

But rendering a verdict is something

But seriously, everyone, let's have a big round of applause

But so rich. Will you excuse me?

But somehow, as soon as I decided to kill myself,

But sometimes two rights can make a wrong.

But still, I don't... I don't know.

But that guy could've been hurt! Why are you laughing?

But that's cheating.

But the good news is, this little guy's gonna make it to 74.

But the point is where do we go from here?

But the rest of this? It's messed up, man

But then you're gonna have cheese in your ass.

But then..."

But there's just too much competition out there.

But these candies tell me you're doing great.

But they ain't gonna get violent

But they don't let me on it no more,

But they were inexperienced so I ended up having to rub one out.

But thinks the portions are too small?

But this bullet does.

But this business..

But this is my breakfast.

But this is my wife you're talking about!

But this is why we've been married as long as we have.

But this store should still be about selling cookies.

But to me, it's worth the comfort because, let's face it,

But unfortunately, they only come in suppository form.

But wait, we want people to know we're grown ups.

But wait, we want people to know we're grown ups.

But we don't want to sound too old.

But we find that when couples don't respond

But we promised these scumbags a show

But we're honoring your father's wishes.

But we're not spending

But what the devil has happened to you?

But what we could really use is some weed.

But what... what's happening here?

But when I look around at all of these open, loving faces

But when you asked me to model,

But when you think about it,

But with more of your mom railing this guy.

But with way more weirdos grinding up against your wives.

But y you've been so happy these last few days.

But yeah, Brian is kind of smart.

But you are a local hero for defending our beer,

But you hit it into the water.

But you know what we're doing here?

But you made the call.

But you need to seek forgiveness. You need to kneel before Jesus.

But you see this gunk?

But you sent me to that school to change me.

But you! You're a liar, Jesus!

But you... you were phenomenal.

But you're "throw people off the boat" smart.

But you're different from them, aren't you?

But your life was not without meaning

But, Brian, the vet said...

But, Dr. Hartman, why did he lose consciousness?

But, hey, we cut the legs off him and dye him brown,

But, I got to admit, I'm a little nervous

But, interestingly, you have high compatibility

But, Maya...

But, otherwise, I think they're great!

But, uh, you know, I've never noticed, uh,

But, well, I was wrong earlier when I called you a moron.

But, yeah, I'd be happy to help out in the class.

But, you know, I'm not really into material possessions.

But...

Butterscotch candies for his friends.

By either one man or 100 identical men.

By the way, a huge part of being an idiot

By the way, the sun is really a black guy.

By the way, Your Honor, your fly is down.

By the way, your Svengali is out there spraying birds with a hose.

By throwing "a little gay" in there, too.

Bye!

Bye! Thanks for having me.

C can your father and I come with you?

C can your father and I come with you?

Calm down, ma'am, it's all under control.

Can can you let me outside?

Can I get a soda? What? No.

Can I handle it?

Can I help you?

Can I leave now?

Can I talk to you for a sec? Sure.

Can someone take out the garbage?

Can we ask you a few questions?

Can we get some food?!

Can we play both?

Can we please go home?

Can we work blue, like Marlin Johnson?

Can you believe that woman?

Can you hear me?

Can you name one successful company that isn't cookie based?

Can you see the head? I don't know where to look!

Can you..

Can't believe every turkey

Can't believe we got robbed.

Can't wait to see what that "bigger plan" is.

Can't wait to work with you, Peter

Captain, I just got to jump in here

Captain, I've I've got to, uh, interrupt again

Car?

Careful, don't get anything on the...

Careful, Peter, or you're gonna lose two friends today.

Carter, read the room. They're not into it.

Catering exclusively to the affluent.

Cats. Yes, cats. Good.

Certainly aren't on this ship.

Certainly better than that retreat we went on

Channel Five News has this exclusive first look

Charge!

Cheap copies, clumsy counterfeits

Check

Chef Sylvester, on the other hand, I'm happy to say

Children, this is progress!

Children, we're leaving!

Chloe and I are doing the Quahog Marathon

Chloe, I'm not sure I can...

Chris Gaines was Garth Brooks. I just figured that out.

Chris is on the Titanic?!

Chris is still in his room with that disgusting homemade sex doll.

Chris seems to be struggling in his classes,

Chris still has an Aaron Hernandez poster up? That's not cool.

Chris, are Brian and your father back yet?

Chris, Chris, slow down

Chris, come back!

Chris, put down the phone! Don't look at those!

Chris, there you are!

Chris, we're done

Chris, we're in a different town.

Chris, when you go on your picnic tomorrow,

Chris, you're dreaming with consequences.

Chris?

Chris?

Chris?

Chris? Chris?

Christmas night, 1776

Classic P Dog.

Clearly, there's been a lot of cheating on both sides,

Cleveland and I think we need to make some changes.

Cleveland didn't show up to my therapy session earlier,

Cleveland helped me see that our entire relationship

Cleveland kept stopping to scratch his back on trees.

Cleveland, it ain't cool what you've been telling Lois.

Cleveland, let me tell you something.

Cleveland, what are you looking at?

Cleveland! Cleveland!

Cleveland! You're okay!

Cleveland? Why would I talk to Cleveland?

Cleveland... Pass.

Close your eyes, Heather. I've got a surprise for you.

ClubAmigos.

Cocaine and severe trauma to the colon.

Cock a doodle doo!

Cock a doodle doo!

Coffee and old seed packets.

Colin Farrell? What are you doing here?

Come here, baby.

Come here, boy

Come live in the kind of place

Come on in. In... inside?

Come on, Brian, I need this rope

Come on, Brian, you'd better let go

Come on, Chris, don't sell yourself short.

Come on, Chris, don't sell yourself short.

Come on, come on, two more

Come on, come on, you got to want it

Come on, get get down there, you old bag.

Come on, guys, we don't have to make such a big thing about it.

Come on, guys!

Come on, hand it over. Don't make this hard on yourself.

Come on, hand it over. Don't make this hard on yourself.

Come on, it could be great.

Come on, Jesus.

Come on, Joe, there's plenty of reasons to live.

Come on, Joe. You can't be afraid

Come on, keep pedaling.

Come on, let's do it on your son's tiny bed.

Come on, look at the stools is there a Lee Keebum?

Come on, Meg. Look around. You're the hottest person who works here.

Come on, Quagmire.

Come on, Stewie, we got to find Chris and the return pad

Come on, what are you waiting for, Griffin?

Come on.

Come out with your hands up, lad!

Come save my life and nurse me back to health!

Come to North Dakota

Coming this fall to every network,

Coming up, a white waiter at a Chinese restaurant?

Coming up, local newsman shows a camera operator

Confront them face to face and explain why I'm angry?

Congratulations, Griffins you did it!

Cookie? Yes, Peter.

Cool! Let's go

Cool. I'm sitting on my foot to hold in a dump.

Could you do that thing where you take some fluid

Could you excuse me for just one moment?

Could you please sign my copy of your book?

Could... could you do that now, please?

Could've used a heads up on that one.

Counting sheep, thinking sleepy thoughts

Couple of calves got loose

Course you can! You're a loser

Cowabunga

Credit card information.

Customers.

Cut! No. Stop.

D Do you maybe have room for one more?

D done. Sorry.

D'oh!

Dad, can I get one of your head on the belly?

Dad, how long until we can go back home?

Dad, I'm starving.

Dad, I'm worried they're gonna hurt us.

Dad, it looks like some girl sent you

Dad, what are you doing in here?

Dad, why don't your checks have any writing on them?

Daddy, what kind of tree is that?

Daddy, would you care to start?

Dairy Queen closes in ten minutes

Dammit, Cleveland has completely ruined my life.

Dammit, if only there was some kind of clue as to where he might be.

Dammit, Peter! You're making me crazy!

Damn it, Chris, your problem isn't book learning,

Damn it, he's gone

Damn it, how could you guys do that?!

Damn it, I tried two things that all kids love:

Damn it, it's nailed shut.

Damn it, Lois, you stepped on my punch line!

Damn it, Peter, I'm sick of this!

Damn it, Peter!

Damn it, Peter! That was our only way home!

Damn it, Peter. What were you thinking?

Damn it, she's not watching.

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it! Joe?

Damn it.

Damn it. Brian screwed me.

Damn it. Where the hell are they with that turkey?

Damn right

Damn!

Damn! 1,000 women?

Damn. Chekov, reroute auxiliary power to the helm

Dance with a man.

Danke.

David Chicago!

David Chicago.

David Faustino.

Dear God, we're stuck here.

Decades of black dress socks

Delta?

Depending on where you stand on ****.

Deuce.

Dick Fosbury won an Olympics on this.

Dick would slide right into that Glory hole

Did he show you that sad little apartment?

Did I say "shoehorn"? Yes. Okay.

Did I say I'm Johnny Five yet?

Did one of your friends get engaged?

Did someone say "*******"?

Did they take a picture of you eating a whole pizza pie

Did you bake this?

Did you call me "babe"?

Did you ever consider... the reason you're having trouble

Did you gals hear about Allie Gallagher?

Did you happen to read his tweet about "jumbo shrimp"?

Did you have sex with this underage girl?

Did you hear about your ex husband yet?

Did you just poop and then get into bed

Did you just rip your own ears off?

Did you kill them quickly?

Did you not talk to her at all?

Did you really see that, or was it just an excuse

Did you really take his book away from him?

Did you?

Did your mommy forget to slice your g****s for you?

Didn't find the car, Lois,

Didn't I tell you guys? It's the most magnificent place in the world.

Didn't we, Lois? Absolutely.

Didn't you notice you were passed out in all those photos?

Digging away down there, just nagging and itching and..

Dinner should've been served half an hour ago.

Dinner starts in an hour.

Dinner's gonna be ready very soon.

Do I need to repeat myself?

Do I still get a piece of candy after?

Do what you want with Landon.

Do you even have a placenta?

Do you even know what you're trying to say?

Do you get it? Oh, God, I'm so bad.

Do you have any idea how crippled you sound right now?

Do you have anything for me, Glenn?

Do you know I'm carrying three handguns, and the metal detectors picked up nothing?

Do you like Lew Sheridan?

Do you mind if I follow you home and use yours?

Do you mind not texting?

Do you remember that phase

Do you think me throwing full sodas into the garbage

Do you think that I am moved by your sob story?

Does this mean you're gonna move to Europe to make movies?

Does your underwear have tags?

Doesn't it make more sense to kill her?

Doesn't the Bible say not to covet thy neighbor's wife?

Dog in a Jets jersey, get in here!

Dogs eat in the kitchen

Dogs Who Look Like Presidents

Doing ducklips by a pool?

Don't answer. It's just that Brian's been so distant lately,

Don't be afraid to be honest with a girl

Don't cry. Be a man

Don't do that

Don't do that, either. J Just just don't do anything.

Don't doubt me, Brian.

Don't ever say my name like that, okay?

Don't forget about the underneath part of my knee.

Don't forget to give us your extra snacks

Don't forget, he bit you, Peter.

Don't hold him like that.

Don't listen to her, Meg.

Don't listen to him.

Don't look at me like that.

Don't look! Don't look! Don't look!

Don't mind me

Don't need nobody

Don't tell my kid what to do

Don't tell your wife.

Don't want anyone to get freaked out by the transformation.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry, Brian, I'll save you.

Don't worry, I got a great price on it.

Don't worry, I gotcha.

Don't worry, I'll make sure Chris passes history.

Don't worry, I'm coming!

Don't worry, Joe. They're coming for you.

Don't worry, Lois, I'm gonna find that tricycle.

Don't worry, Lois, I'm gonna find that tricycle.

Don't worry, Lois.

Don't worry, Lois. We will

Don't worry, Meg.

Don't worry, Meg... I'm always here to help.

Don't worry, Peter!

Don't worry, we're gonna get this loan, no problem

Don't worry. Meg's holding our stuff.

Don't you dare.

Don't you look nice?

Don't you mean pap smear?

Don't you see? This is your chance to open your heart and let God in.

Don't you worry, Lois, you keep baking,

Don't you worry. This'll quickly turn

Donating?!

Donna's big fat aunt is in town, so I can definitely go.

Double foam, am I right?

Doula? I I don't even know what that is!

Down the hatch!

Down with misogyny!

Dr. Brown, I just killed nine people!

Dr. Hartman, do you think the brain tumor might explain

Dr. Hartman, what's the prognosis?

Drop it.

Dry land?!

Dude

Dude, you are the worst.

Due to a gut busting divorce, limited people skills,

Duff can keep a secret

Duff is an icon!

Duff is more experimental than any partner I've ever had

Duff never says no

During Christmas, anyway?

Easy there.

Easy!

Eat as much as you want and do whatever,

Eat my button, you whore.

Eat my shorts!

Eating next to a porthole! What?!

Eh

Eh, anyone who's kind of fast gets a free pass from me.

Eh, he's got a big head

Eh, it's like having a pickup truck.

Eh, not as weird as his karaoke phase.

Eh, seems kind of gratuitous.

Eh, you know what? We'll see what we see.

Eh, you're right. Rip it off quick, like a Band Aid.

Eight months. You look amazing.

Either take the tumor out of him or put one in me!

Elderly potheads. Why did it have to be elderly potheads?

Elephant steaks! 50 pound elephant steaks!

Elizabeth Perkins, Patricia Richardson, Katey Sagal..

Elmer!

Empirically. Eh, careful.

Enjoy your craphole, dumbass

Enough is enough, Peter.

Ergo, he's only 12. Ergo, the girl ****d him. Argo, Ben Affleck

Eric's dead!

Especially to four children.

Especially yesterday when we all got mammograms.

Eureka! Watch it go.

Even better. We're going to work on your relationships.

Even divine.

Even Martin Lawrence when he used to dress up like Shenehneh?

Even though I know you never liked me,

Even though it might be a little bug

Even though you kind of screwed us over.

Even worse than John Edwards.

Every Jurassic Park.

Every one of you has your own problems

Every other divorced mom at my kid's school is a realtor.

Every year we have to deal with you American tourists!

Everybody around here looks like they have hepatitis

Everybody hates how you dress, right, Joe?

Everybody knows Irish Catholics control the media.

Everybody stop what you're doing!

Everybody's always getting an award.

Everyone at this table was the first person

Everyone deserves a proper burial.

Everyone in my house can get very excited by a good ad campaign.

Everyone in the office besides us is garbage.

Everyone just stop inventing stuff now, 'cause no one will ever top this.

Everyone knows that, pound for pound, the Atlantic is the best ocean.

Everyone move over.

Everyone, time to dress for dinner.

Everything in Australia is so fancy.

Everything's so silly.

Everywhere, all places.

Ew, bath with friends.

Ew, what would you want that for? It's gross.

Ew! Mom!

Ew. You know, this is actually the first time I've ever touched Joe.

Except for that one sarcastic gay guy.

Excuse me, can you help us?

Excuse me, have any of you seen a blond teenage boy?

Excuse me, Mom, could you please pass the...

Excuse me, Mom, could you please pass the...

Excuse me, Mr

Excuse me, Mr. Hemingway, can I have a beer with you?

Excuse me, sir. We were sent here by the production.

Excuse me, we do ask that you don't touch anything.

Excuse me, won't you?

Excuse me. Can I please have another no foam latte?

Excuse me... when their school bus hit a patch of ice

Extraordinary peanut!

Face it, Brian, this proves that you're stupid.

Face it, you failed at people's safety net job

Face it, you're a worse parent than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Facilitating small talk

Fact is, when I saved that boy, I wasn't thinking.

Family and friends.

Family, I have an announcement to make.

Fanny! Yeah! Fanny!

Faster Than the Speed of Love?

Faster than you can say, "Jack Robinson

Fat man's right... they're making this easy.

Fell in my lap."

Fell in my lap."

Find your sweetie and give her a tap.

Fine, fine, you want to get trampled in your living room? Be my guest.

Fine. Glenn Quagmire.

Fine. I'll just do it with my mouth.

Fine. We're both in agreement.

Finiiished.

Fire up the boat we're going home!

First of all, I didn't have any clean underwear this morning,

First stop... Washington, D.C.

First thing tomorrow, I'm taking Brian to obedience school

First, I add Brian's hair and saliva,

First, I went, and you went?

Five. Five.

Flat back, craning to look up?

Fly free, turkey!

Foot fetish party, huh?

Foot fetish porn sites are a huge business.

For "Highway to the Danger Zone".

For "sewage" and "beverage" are the same

For a children's book.

For a Christmas rodgering, I did.

For a second, I thought she was gonna come with us

For always putting you down.

For drug crimes

For example, did you know

For example, Grant Show.

For Free Jerky Stick Night.

For God's sake, Chris!

For handling alleged crimes around here

For how good looking I am? I'm sick of it.

For luck, Meg.

For one afternoon. Maybe he'll learn something.

For one whole handful of your butt.

For putting us up until we find our car

For the blood drive. Oh, yeah

For The Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.

For the first time in my life, I got money to burn

For the North Dakota board of tourism

For the paper clips and rouge, you idiot!

For the way you treated me earlier.

For this leg of the trip, I was thinking

For those of you who don't know,

For those of you who loved "Screaming Sheep,"

For today, you can be my little helper.

For two handfuls, I'll give you my car.

For what? I didn't say anything

For what? No story has been told!

Forgive me for speaking out of turn, sir,

Forward. Forward. Keep forwarding.

Forward. Forward. Keep forwarding.

Forwarding, forwarding, forwarding... And there we go. Our thief.

Four years later, me and Lois divorced and Stewie died.

Four? I thought we were down to five.

Frasier.

Freakin' Cheney back in the White House?

Free bus bike!

Free food, right away.

Fresh air! Freedom!

Friends?

From a guy who eats bread

From a lot of guys who I oddly recognize from Best Buy.

From Brian's presentation

From Dirty Amelia Bedelia.

From doing something I'd always regret.

From going to the polls.

From his playdate, so he went out back to take a nap

From obedience school that things have been weird?

From that experience into your marriages.

From that weird aisle nobody else goes down.

From the Chinese wedding next door,

From the real world for now.

From The Star Wars!

From the University of Phoenix?

From wrecking my marriage and your religion.

Geez, coming here was a bad idea.

Geez, I haven't seen you this excited

Geez, I'm going, like, 95.

Geez, Meg, didn't I just take you on a field trip?

Geez, Peter, you're more excited than Adrian Peterson at an arboretum.

Geez, that word looks even harsher when it's in all caps.

Geez, this "Justin" phase of Dad's is kind of weird.

Geez, this place is depressing.

Geez, what the hell happened to him?

Gene Shalit, I am the ghost of Roger Ebert

Gene, is everything all right?

Get a big towel.

Get a little breeze in here?

Get back in there

Get ice cream anyway

Get in my mouth, you hundreds of fish.

Get out of here!

Get out of here! What are you doing?!

Get out of my way, you son of a bitch!

Get out of that chair. Leave the eggs.

Get out! Get out now and don't ever come back!

Get out! I need this car!

Get out! I need this car!

Get over here, you idiot! Peter! What the hell?

Get the big spring.

Get up! Please, sit.

Get your cookie and be done with it

Get your tubes tied, you kook!

Getting laid all the time, sleeping like a rock,

Getting more involved? What do you mean?

Giant curbside outlet?

Giant magnet?

Giant magnet? Giant magnet

Giant plug? Check

Giggity.

Girls, it is so nice to be part of a group again.

Give a little bare hand slap, a little cup?

Give me back my wife, or you're in a lot of trouble.

Give me some of that!

Give us the specials.

Glenn, we're not going to get anywhere questioning God's wisdom.

Glenn, what the hell's going on?

Glenn's right. I was never there for him.

Go ahead, take... your best... shot.

Go ahead. I'll handle the kids.

Go around the block again, she's still out front.

Go away! I never want to talk to you again!

Go back to sleep

Go get 'em, Brian!

Go on, my son.

Go push your buttons. My husband'll kick your ass.

Go to the gym, kneel down in the shower,

Go wash up for lunch

Go, go, go!

Gobble, gobble!

God just speaks right through you, doesn't he, Cleveland?

God, give it up, Patty.

God, I can't believe I got stuck

God, I can't believe you guys really like them

God, I have the best basement.

God, I look huge in that bed, don't I?

God, I look huge in that bed, don't I?

God, I love massage chairs.

God, I love sex!

God, I love the new you.

God, I should have known it.

God, late night TV is all terrible.

God, look at my mom.

God, look how fat kids are getting.

God, poor Chris.

God, sometimes I just want to shake some sense into you.

God, that was so intense.

God, that would've saved me years.

God, there's got to be a sucker to buy this condo

God, we need so much stuff.

God, what a... what a fun dog

God, what the hell has gotten into Joe?

God, you're more annoying than a creative voice mail message.

Goes the weasel!

Going out on top amid a flurry of gambling rumors

Gonna go to "Ask Beeves."

Good

Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Griffin

Good afternoon. I'm Tom Tucker.

Good boy.

Good bye, body.

Good bye, fellas.

Good bye, Glenn. Be strong. We'll keep you in our thoughts.

Good bye, Larry.

Good bye!

Good day for these wet paint brushes, too

Good day.

Good evening, Quahog. I'm Tom Tucker

Good evening, sir.

Good evening. Our first special is an almond crusted salmon...

Good for him. He actually followed through.

Good for you, Lois.

Good job, people.

Good Lord, if I don't do something,

Good luck.

Good morning

Good morning, Brian.

Good morning, everybody. I think Heather will be eating breakfast

Good morning, everybody. I think Heather will be eating breakfast

Good night, Lois

Good point, Brian.

Good start. Keep it up, snack pack.

Good thing we don't have a cat

Good to have you.

Good, good. We're on the same page

Good, he doesn't know about the stickers.

Good. Admitting it is the first step.

Gosh. I...

Gosh. I...

Got drunk and ate the turkey

Got it!

Got kicked out of camp

Got one!

Got to let the lifeguard know he better keep an eye on me.

Gotcha!

Grab a pair of dirty socks and meet me by the tub of dead mice.

Grandpa, can I just have my video games back?

Grandpa, what are we even doing out here?

Granted.

Great job! The worst thing a passenger can do

Great observation.

Great, because dog head/human ears over here doesn't react to anything I say.

Great, here comes that couple with the adult disabled kid.

Great, I'll pick you up at 4:30.

Great, now everybody knows

Great, now everybody knows

Great, now I'm fully up.

Great! I'll get the paperwork.

Great! So it's all agreed

Great! We'd love to have you start tomorrow, if you're free.

Great. And you fellas shouldn't pull any punches.

Great. Go

Great. Now they're all picturing my wiener.

Great. See you tomorrow.

Great. So, I wanted to... You're looking at it.

Great. The water completely killed my phone.

Griffin

Growing mustaches for this month.

Gum! What the hell is going on?!

Guy takes care of himself.

Guys, check it out.

Guys, could you turn that down?

Guys, grab on to my legs!

Guys, guys, there's no reason to fight.

Guys, guys... Let's stop escalatin' and take the stairs for a minute.

Guys, I think I've got a lead on all these thefts.

Guys, I think I've got a lead on all these thefts.

Guys, I think we need to embrace the possibility that Cleveland never existed.

Guys, I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

Guys, keep swallowing water. We'll drink our way out of this.

Guys, this is on me.

Guys, this is unnecessary. Give me my chair back.

Guys, we ain't here for fun, all right?

Guys, we're in business.

Guys! I think I might've made a terrible mistake

H Hey. Hi, Terry.

Ha ha! Brian's stupid!

Ha ha! Chris would love this.

Ha ha! Dad, I just got this hilarious e mail!

Ha ha! Now you're wet!

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha!

Ha! And we're off.

Ha! Now I'm catching fire.

Ha! She's enjoyed many men.

Haben Sie Homer und Peter mit Chevron pump?

Had anything to do with this?

Had the house to myself.

Hallmark Original Pictures presents

Hand me a nine iron and show me to the backyard.

Hand over the dime, buddy.

Hand over the turkey. What?!

Hang in there, Joe. After they get that lady's hat, you're next.

Hang on, fellas.

Hang on, guys!

Happy Thanksgiving, dear!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Hark, townsfolk!

Has a crush on her trainer, and he eats like this,

Has been you doing whatever you want and me cleaning up the mess.

Has really outraged the online community

Has the girl had her blood? Answer the question.

Have a romantic drink by the concourse fountain

Have him call me the minute he gets in

Have rendered them smooth and mirror like.

Have someone take it for me?

Have you ever drunk out of a toilet?

Have you guys seriously never heard of donuts?

Have you tried wearing a lesbian shoe?

Having a baby seems to have made them closer.

Having sex with me for money."

Haw haw!

Haw haw!

He actually thinks it's his girlfriend.

He bought her a scarf. And it actually goes well with her colors.

He could even save our marriage.

He did the same thing to me last Christmas

He doesn't know any better

He doesn't look that much like me.

He doesn't need lasers or time machines,

He doesn't really live there.

He gave a blood donation as well

He had a... uh, procedure.

He had an accident last week.

He had the whole thing covered up.

He has a little surprise planned for her.

He has a plan for everything

He he doesn't even know what we're preparing him for!

He hit on me at your wedding.

He is not ready for flashbacks.

He just uses it to store art he bought on cruises.

He kind of sounded like a girl

He likes the Packers and surfing.

He made it! Your dog is in orbit!

He might even enjoy it. I know I had a blast in college.

He put actual strawberries in a glass of champagne,

He said, "Mayonnaise."

He scare inside, he scare outside.

He sells me nitrous at wholesale, I bang his wife

He thinks I could be a famous model.

He told me to do it.

He was lame

He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe,

He was terrified of the water.

He was, like, the main guy in Office Space.

He wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer."

He what?!

He what?!

He would be David Chicago.

He, uh, said he gave her a Frosty Jim.

He... oh, damn, what was it?

He'd give me back the use of my legs?

He'll bill me. I've got an account

He's a savior

He's a therapist now, and he's really great at helping people with their problems.

He's an absolute dream.

He's an idiot, so this won't be hard at all.

He's been missing for a week!

He's been on a leash his whole life.

He's being helpful

He's friends with Gus.

He's funny.

He's going to move away!

He's gone, Rupert.

He's gonna tell my wife stuff, I'm gonna tell his wife a few things.

He's got Lois making me help around the house

He's got Rupert!

He's got to give up that obsession

He's having a dog playdate.

He's in the kitchen right now, totally accounted for

He's kind of like my boss.

He's like something out of Mark Twain!

He's making people laugh at handicapped people

He's moved out and gotten his own apartment.

He's moving from the green room to the purple room.

He's not a menace

He's not in here.

He's nowhere.

He's obviously cleaning his feet in the pool

He's pretty tough, boss.

He's selling books! They love him!

He's still trying to get that rope away from Brian.

He's studying as hard as he can, but it doesn't seem to matter.

He's trying to convince Congress

He's, uh...

He's, um..

Hear that? This thing's all on you

Heather and I went for a tandem bike ride.

Heather and I went for a tandem bike ride.

Heather, I made your favorite cookies.

Heather, I made your favorite cookies.

Heather? Oh, my God!

Heather's gone!

Heh hoo!

Heh. Don't need to.

Heh. You know this one's funny

Heil hooters!

Hell yeah!

Hell, I work for the company. It's my livelihood

Hell, you could even coach the Mighty Ducks.

Hello there, sir.

Hello, couples. My name is Noel,

Hello, Doctor? I need a new pair of eyes

Hello, everyone. I'm Blake Walker from Piermont Publishing.

Hello, funny sounding Cleveland

Hello, Glenn.

Hello, Moe? Your sister's being ****d

Hello, Mr. Bunker.

Hello, sir. We're here to see Liam Neeson,

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Oh, hi, Bonnie.

Hello? Peter, where are you?

Hello. Welcome to the Kwik E Mart.

Hells to the yeah, I am!

Help me, somebody!

Help, officer! There's a lady being ****d in that alley!

Helping my son is the most Christian thing I could do.

Here are your pussy willow branches.

Here is a penguin, don't know why

Here it is

Here it is. Here's little Chubbo pulling up the rear.

Here she is, all the way from Weathersfield Elementary School,

Here we are, guys, Niagara Falls.

Here we are.

Here we go.

Here we go. I'm moving through the scene and I slam the door.

Here we go. Oh, no, I hit input!

Here you go

Here you go, Stewie. Don't bother sniffing the seat. It don't smell like nothing.

Here you go. Pawtucket Patriot Ale

Here, give me yours.

Here, have a look.

Here, hold still.

Here, I'll quiz you.

Here, let me help.

Here, let me kiss it and make it better.

Here, sweetie, I'll write you a check

Here, take the car! Take the car!

Here, you want a beer? Peter, it's 11:00 a.m.

Here's a goose.

Here's a video of some outrage.

Here's Johnny!

Here's just a picture of a vest. Pretty sweet.

Here's my number... give me a call if you're interested.

Here's your beer, Peter.

Here's your collar. And here's a laptop

Hey Lois, can I please have another pancake?

Hey Lois, can I please have another pancake?

Hey o!

Hey there, buckaroos!

Hey, are these..

Hey, are you doing anything on Friday?

Hey, Brian, check it out HotOrNot.com.

Hey, Brian, I started the car in the garage

Hey, Brian, say something else from TV.

Hey, Brian, you know... you know what we should do?

Hey, Brian, you want to go see Dr. Hartman

Hey, Brian, you're back!

Hey, Brian. Hang on, I'm just finishing a set

Hey, bro!

Hey, buddy, want to get high?

Hey, buddy, you want to come to my house

Hey, buddy. How you doing?

Hey, buddy. What are you doing in Quahog?

Hey, can I be the one who laugh screams really loud at restaurants?

Hey, can we join you?

Hey, can you buy us some beer?

Hey, can you check my back for "kick me" signs?

Hey, careful, Meg.

Hey, cheer up, Cleveland.

Hey, Chief, we could arrest every single car thief in Springfield

Hey, Chief. It's Swanson. I quit.

Hey, Chris, I noticed you were sitting alone. You mind if I join you?

Hey, Chris, your mother wanted me to talk to you.

Hey, Chris.

Hey, Chris. I I see you're sad. And also sitting on the remote.

Hey, Chris. I see you turned your hat around so you can really get in there.

Hey, Chris. Where's your father?

Hey, Cleveland, how tall are you?

Hey, come on, now, this is my favorite beer you're talking about

Hey, could you close the gate?

Hey, couldn't help but notice there's no seat for me

Hey, cram it, skinny. Give me free food

Hey, cram it, skinny. Give me free food

Hey, did I tell you about Kim in marketing?

Hey, do we still have a magazine?

Hey, do you think if I let Jesus sleep with Bonnie,

Hey, don't mock Mo vember.

Hey, drop it. Drop it.

Hey, dude, can you pass me a speck of Spazz?

Hey, Evan.

Hey, everybody, I'm Teacher Doug,

Hey, everybody?

Hey, everyone gets down on themselves sometimes.

Hey, eyes front! I'm talking!

Hey, Family Guy, you're lucky I got a manicotti in the oven,

Hey, fellas.

Hey, grab me some more Band Aids, will you?

Hey, Griffin

Hey, guys, do I got a Lee Keebum?

Hey, guys, I got to leave.

Hey, guys, notice anything different?

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys. I got something for you,

Hey, guys. Oh, hey, Peter.

Hey, guys. Say, Lois, I I know you said this trip

Hey, guys. Uh, Peter,

Hey, guys. What the hell?!

Hey, guys. Wow, Joe, you got your job back?

Hey, guys. You look like you're getting a little red

Hey, hashtag SATs, huh?

Hey, here's a reminder...

Hey, here's the tricycle.

Hey, here's the tricycle.

Hey, hey, Brian, am I a good little guy?

Hey, hey!

Hey, how about one where you draw a sock,

Hey, how are you?

Hey, how come you aren't with your family

Hey, how many of y'all bitches like to read?

Hey, how you doing on that chocolate milk?

Hey, how's it going, man?

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, I hope you don't mind,

Hey, I just made black coffee

Hey, I need you to take me to the doctor for my prenatal vitamins.

Hey, I want to try. Okay

Hey, I went by your house the other day.

Hey, I'm Brian.

Hey, I'm, uh...

Hey, if you think that's funny, she once had a miscarriage outside a Petco.

Hey, is it Carrie Underwood?

Hey, isn't it funny that you guys came over for a dinner party,

Hey, it looks like

Hey, it's cool you got the keys to the school,

Hey, it's Thanksgiving.

Hey, Jerome, give me another Pawtucket Pat.

Hey, Jesus!

Hey, Jimmy? Yeah, Dad?

Hey, Joe

Hey, Justin, I wanted to introduce you to Keira.

Hey, kid, I need that toboggan!

Hey, kid. You know anything about a tricycle

Hey, kids, would you like a terrible healthy sandwich?

Hey, Kimmie, I'll pay you a thousand dollars

Hey, language. My big fat black mom is here

Hey, listen,

Hey, listen, have my mom home by midnight, okay?

Hey, listen, I..

Hey, listen, I'm I'm..

Hey, listen, I'm sorry we threatened to blab

Hey, listen, my car got stolen

Hey, Lois, guess what

Hey, Lois, I heard Katherine Heigl likes to French kiss.

Hey, Lois, I heard Katherine Heigl likes to French kiss.

Hey, Lois, thanks for letting Kevin

Hey, Lois, you noticed ever since Brian came back

Hey, Lois, you seen my hiking boots? I need 'em later for park soccer.

Hey, Lois?

Hey, look, don't feel bad, Brian... it's fun being stupid.

Hey, look!

Hey, loser, I copied off your spelling test

Hey, Ma, guess where I am?

Hey, man, did Liam Neeson send you?

Hey, man, just a heads up: instead of howling at the moon tonight,

Hey, man, thanks.

Hey, maybe you could help us build the dam

Hey, Meg, you know Mr. Quagmire, right? Bye!

Hey, Meg. Hi, Meg.

Hey, Neil. Oh, h hey, Chris.

Hey, nice place here.

Hey, no problem, buddy. I'm pretty perceptive.

Hey, no, no. No, no, Brian.

Hey, other teens, how about our youth culture, am I right?

Hey, Pavlov, you dog teasing dick!

Hey, Peter, you should kiss that cow.

Hey, Peter. Come on in.

Hey, Quagmire, sorry to bother you, but we're following up on a tip.

Hey, scoot over.

Hey, since it's also Christmas,

Hey, so sorry I'm late. Let me show you the house.

Hey, sorry again, Kevin

Hey, sorry to bother you, but would you like to work here?

Hey, Stewie, I'm sorry Bart didn't want to be your friend

Hey, Stewie!

Hey, Stewie! Can you come in the bathroom for a second?

Hey, Stewie! Hey, Brian!

Hey, stop squirming in there.

Hey, stop that dog!

Hey, that book would've been nothing without me

Hey, that sounds pretty good to me.

Hey, that's just a regular unattractive guy

Hey, that's no fair. I don't got none of them

Hey, that's what friends are for.

Hey, there's a dog in the dining area!

Hey, there's a lifeboat.

Hey, they learned it!

Hey, this isn't the Kenny Chesney concert.

Hey, this isn't the Kenny Chesney concert.

Hey, trust me, Joe

Hey, uh, is your vision also reduced to just a tiny pinhole?

Hey, uh, Marge, uh,

Hey, uh, you wouldn't maybe want

Hey, um, I was told there would be a lollipop

Hey, wait, where's Joe?

Hey, we should go check it out right now.

Hey, we should make out.

Hey, we're all the worst.

Hey, what about you, Meg? What'd you do this week?

Hey, what happened to Jack Nicholson

Hey, what's going on here?

Hey, what's it like buying food from school?

Hey, what's this? Gaylord practice?

Hey, what's up?

Hey, what's with the suitcase?

Hey, where's Santa's Little Helper?

Hey, where's the business guy in this boardroom?

Hey, which one of you guys can kick?

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! It's not a rip off of Duff

Hey, will you bearded dwarves be friends with me?

Hey, yo, Stew. My boy Peter and I

Hey, you don't sell turkeys here, do you?

Hey, you feel good about yourself, jagoff?

Hey, you got a tiny head and a big body.

Hey, you guys take good care of my child rapist friend!

Hey, you guys. Peter, how tall am I?

Hey, you having a good time tonight?

Hey, you know aw, damn it, I don't have a comic strip anymore

Hey, you know something?

Hey, you know this old woman who lived in a shoe,

Hey, you know what?

Hey, you know what? Come here, Santa's Stupid Name

Hey, you know, that's what we ought to do.

Hey, you know, we make a great team, guys. Like Huey Lewis and the ****.

Hey, you little rats.

Hey, you made it!

Hey, you mind opening that door?

Hey, you want me to pick anything up

Hey, you want to make a prank phone call?

Hey, you want to see my weapons closet?

Hey, you you hear that, Landon?

Hey, you're not Chris.

Hey, you're the one who said we should try to ruin her marriage.

Hey, you're welcome, buddy.

Hey! Are you a big, fat bastard who loves eating at Outback Steakhouse,

Hey! Hey, stop! Give us a ride!

Hey! Hey, you!

Hey! I said you can't come on here.

Hey! Knock it off! There's a kid back there!

Hey! You requesting a song or ordering some sliced meat?

Hey.

Hey. Did you see those pictures of me

Hey. We have fun.

Hey. You like your reggae watered down

Hey. You, uh..

Hey... Robert.

Hi there, folks.

Hi, Chris, how was school?

Hi, Daddy! How was howling at the moon?

Hi, do you have any turkeys?

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, guys!

Hi, I'm Al Harrington of Al Harrington's Wacky Waving

Hi, I'm Chloe

Hi, I'm Joe Swanson, and this is 30 impressions in 30 seconds.

Hi, I'm Professor Comedy.

Hi, Meg.

Hi, Meg. Larry, what are you doing here?

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Hi, Peter

Hi, Peter.

Hi, Rupert. He won't be joining us.

Hi.

Hi. Are you the next crazy person?

Hi. Do you like South Dakota

Hi. I want to have my anus breached.

Hi. I'm the new nurse

Hi. Peter Griffin, all but separated.

Higher than you, faster than you, better than you.

His brain ain't right, but it's fun.

His bum looks like that guy with a hundred cigarettes in his mouth

His erotic Advent calendar.

His name's not Dick, you idiot. It's Finn.

His new project is reportedly an historical epic,

His only hope is his history final tomorrow.

His stupidity will kill him.

Hitchhike? You know how dangerous that is?

Hitler, Manson, Jaden Smith

Hitting on them in a kindly, genial way?

Hmm, I could make you rich

Hmm, I guess I could just get the mail at night.

Hmm, that didn't link up.

Hmm, well, I haven't heard of brains being linked to behavior,

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. I can't help but think this selfish attitude is part of what got you here.

Hmm. Let's try that on for size.

Hmm... mmm?

Hmm... well, that could save me some time in the morning.

Hold hold on one second

Hold steady. I got him in my sights

Hollywood comes to Quahog, almost,

Holy ! What is happening?!

Holy crap, it's a setup. Time to make a quick getaway.

Home Ec just got out. I'm gonna go lick all their bowls.

Home is this way; we're both just walking home.

Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are an even greater team

Homer, maybe we're doing this wrong

Homer, you're never going to believe what we did

Honey, did you hear a dog scream?

Honey, it doesn't seem like

Honey, when did Peter Griffin take up jogging?

Honey, where are you off to?

Honey, your hands are filthy

Hopefully, inside you.

Horny ones who sex on you.

Horny. Really horny. Could you put him back so I can push him out again?

Hot Rod asked for Mr. Chicago.

How about a little help from Kenny G?

How about a little help from Kenny G?

How about I plow her in the limo and have her home in 20 minutes?

How about I read you this book?

How about I take head, shoulders,

How about Justin takes his shirt off,

How about this second fridge of milk?

How about we just go into that store there?

How about you bite me, bitch?

How about you, Joe?

How about you?

How are we ever going to catch Abu Nazir?

How are we gonna let them know we're "veiny"?

How are we gonna let them know we're "veiny"?

How are we gonna pay for that? Well, you tell me.

How are you today, cutie?

How attached to them are you?

How can Cleveland say I'm the problem?

How can you turn a blind eye to progress?!

How come it wasn't in the papers?

How come she's not shaped like a potato?

How come this convenience store has so many shadowy parts?

How could this even happen?!

How could this happen?

How dare you come in here and tell me to seek forgiveness!

How dare you! So I'm just some slut?!

How did Murphy Brown make this look so easy?!

How does everyone know?!

How does that help us? We're creating a broad story

How else am I supposed to get my degree

How far away are the stars?

How in God's name would I know that?! I don't know!

How in the world did you not know she was underage?

How long do women hold grudges?

How many confused old guys you got in this town?

How much disease could a woodchuck doctor cure

How much do you make?

How much do you make?

How much of my stuff have you taken credit for?!

How old are you?

How old are you? You look like you're 40,

How the hell does that happen?

How to center a shot

How was your trip, Father?

How we do, Lois. All we do. You ever get in the pocket of a wave?

How would you kill all those babies anyway?

How would you know, stupid?

How you holding up, buddy?

How..

How'd she know your name?

How'd she know your name?

How'd that happen?

How'd you afford a car?

How's that food, dum dum?

How's the wine? It's terrific.

How's this for positive reinforcement?!

However, I'm sorry to inform you that Brian has a brain tumor.

Huh, all right, that could be fun.

Huh, guess we're in a town called Springfield

Huh, I don't know

Huh, I guess Peter made it to the bathroom, 'cause I can't feel him walking anymore.

Huh, I like the sound of that. I'm a Justin!

Huh, I think half the world would be surprised to know that.

Huh, never seen that kid around the neighborhood.

Huh, that actually sounds kind of fun.

Huh, what's all this?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Good gust of wind?

Huh? Huh?

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Huh? It's not good

Huh? Oh, Brian, oh, there you are

Huh. Guess I'm just gonna have to take him by surprise.

Huh. High fever, weight loss, and extreme respiratory difficulty.

Huh. I think I can handle that.

Huh. I usually just beat up a cat

Huh. Never thought I'd be in real estate

Huh. That's kind of cool.

Huh. Well, that's no surprise.

Huh. Well, you know what? I guess he does.

Hulk, stop being nice.

Human money on a deformed animal

Humping my wife for a chair.

Hurry, he gets home at 3:00.

Hurry, he gets home at 3:00.

Hyah! Fly, Artemis, fly!

I acted like such a big man,

I actually felt free. Almost giddy.

I actually have been to Connecticut one time.

I ain't much for book reading, sir.

I almost died!

I already sent four more!

I also steal small items from 7 Eleven.

I always thought it was sort of a strange choice

I always want to hang out with you, too!

I always wanted you and me to work on a project together

I always will.

I am a man who unintentionally saves kids.

I am climbing that billboard to prove it's real pudding.

I am comfortable enough to finally say

I am currently seeking online companionship as

I am giving her a piece of my mind.

I am gonna be treating you like garbage.

I am gonna sadly slide down the wall and take my hat off.

I am here to inform you that I am a sex offender."

I am Johnny Five

I am Lady Antonia Tyler Carrington,

I am so sorry... you're just so pretty.

I am throwing you the best birthday party ever.

I am your media savvy worst nightmare!

I am, too. Bring it on.

I am?

I am?

I am. Do you mind if we ask what for?

I asked Peter to read my manuscript,

I asked Peter what he got on his S.A.T.s.

I beg to differ.

I believe he does

I believe they're defective. Oh, my God, Peter,

I believe you are affecting your weird behaviors

I bet I can name more porn stars than you

I bet you and me can find your car on our own

I bit the security guard in the nards.

I brought you kids an old seed packet I found in my garage.

I call my comic For Pete's Sake,

I can finally kiss this worthless life good bye.

I can model in Paris. We could take the baby with us.

I can sell anything

I can suck on it for the flavor.

I can thrash it around, pretend it's a snake.

I can throw you off a bridge,

I can touch my..

I can vouch for the unforgiving face of a blank sheet of paper

I can't believe Amazon is dumping it for 99 cents.

I can't believe Chris gets four million hits just crossing the street.

I can't believe it, Peter

I can't believe our daughter's a porn star!

I can't believe Quagmire and that girl had sex.

I can't believe we couldn't come up with a viral video.

I can't change you back.

I can't deal with anything until I've had my after nap coffee.

I can't deal with my family during the holidays.

I can't go back to my wife without a turkey!

I can't go back. I Snapchatted Matt Gackerack a Kodak of my ass crack!

I can't host this Thanksgiving dinner on my own

I can't imagine we're allowed to say

I can't lift my arm.

I can't live like this.

I can't sleep, Brian

I can't stand this!

I can't swim without my striped one piece!

I can't wait to get down there and dip my fingers in the water.

I can't wait.

I can't. I got plans. I'll see you later.

I can't. I got plans. I'll see you later.

I come from a country where the words

I could eat

I could feel your soul coming out

I could get used to this

I could give you anything you want.

I could never give up my electric blanket;

I could try to get you a job at the airport.

I couldn't afford donuts

I couldn't be sure, but I I think the man has a knife!

I couldn't do it. What?

I couldn't go through with it.

I couldn't handle the pressure, Stewie.

I couldn't imagine, no.

I cried in my sedan, in front of my boy.

I cut your name in my arm so I'll always remember you.

I did

I did it in a Rite Aid bag.

I did not tell you to approach!

I did something bad I need to tell you about.

I did take care of it. He slept with it,

I did that right after you passed out.

I did.

I did. I really did.

I did. I took your doll because it's not a natural

I did... he wasn't in the Turkish bath,

I didn't know we could do finger stuff in the public rooms.

I didn't know you worked out at this gym, too

I didn't say there was a bathroom,

I didn't see you in the tub

I discovered my wife's been cheating on me for a while.

I do a lot of island ones

I do not enjoy playing with you.

I do not like being lied to.

I don't believe this.

I don't blame you, Peter.

I don't bother you when you're sitting on the washing machine,

I don't care enough about you to lay into you

I don't care if we never take it to the next level, physically.

I don't care that your dad's dying,

I don't care.

I don't doubt that you've had a twisted childhood

I don't even have a job. Well, you better get one.

I don't even remember, there was such a long cutaway,

I don't even smoke.

I don't feel safe in my own home

I don't get it.

I don't have a cough, and my sinuses

I don't have AIDS, by the way.

I don't know

I don't know

I don't know about buying a place without seeing it first.

I don't know anything you don't.

I don't know how you sleep at night

I don't know if I'm a real estate investor.

I don't know if Ray Swanson's quitting. You'd have to ask him.

I don't know if you want this now,

I don't know what happened

I don't know what he shot at.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I don't know what the hell we're going to do.

I don't know what they were so mad about,

I don't know what to do, you guys

I don't know what you've been doing to this thing, Neil,

I don't know whether I'm coming or going!

I don't know why anyone would want to be a parent,

I don't know why I ever let you talk me into this...

I don't know why I ever listen to that jerk.

I don't know, baby I'm crazy with the heat.

I don't know, but sometimes when life's got you down,

I don't know, Chris. I don't know why he wanted this,

I don't know, dear. By the way,

I don't know, how tall is a mailbox? You're about a mailbox.

I don't know, I don't think it'd be right.

I don't know, I haven't even thought about that.

I don't know, I I don't seem to fit in anywhere

I don't know, it's been in the purse for ages.

I don't know, Lois. This seems like a one shot deal

I don't know, man.

I don't know, Quagmire.

I don't know, shut up.

I don't know, some island.

I don't know, was he in Black Hawk Down?

I don't know, you're just two sluts with me.

I don't know! Brian, save the placenta.

I don't know! I feel like I'm good at nothing!

I don't know.

I don't know. But here, you can have this back.

I don't know. Cadillac come up to about here on me.

I don't know. Dog eating pancakes. It's funny.

I don't know. Hey, where's that girlfriend of yours? She seems cool.

I don't know. I just woke up, too

I don't know. I might quit this job.

I don't know. I stopped listening to him back at the drive thru

I don't know. I'm sorry. I just...

I don't know. Is Dax Shepard all right?

I don't know. Lois is in charge of the kids.

I don't know. You're the one who sniffed his butt

I don't know...

I don't know... my dad's might have been on there this morning.

I don't like to do it a lot, but you're my friend, Peter.

I don't like what it's doing to him

I don't much like your tone.

I don't need to tell you how serious this is.

I don't regret it. The breeze is nice.

I don't remember any of that

I don't remember none of that. I just remember "CBS Outdoor Advertising"

I don't see it!

I don't see why not.

I don't think guys should have two hands on a coffee mug ever.

I don't think she's on my history test, Stewie

I don't think so.

I don't think so. It's catchy.

I don't think that's stupid

I don't think we're very similar

I don't think. I just do.

I don't understand.

I don't understand. Why did you want me to do this?

I don't usually check this file,

I don't want anything to get on the seats.

I don't want to go to jail, but I really want to take credit.

I don't want to go to jail, but I really want to take credit.

I don't want to have a baby!

I don't... I've been... I've been watching this

I dumped her; she couldn't keep up with me

I enjoyed it.

I even failed homeroom.

I even forgave the man who murdered my son.

I even forgave the man who murdered my son.

I even hired the Sandman

I even pictured my own funeral.

I expressly said "no rakes."

I expressly said no rakes allowed on the street

I feel like I should be mad, but...

I feel like my cervix hurts.

I feel like salty and sweet.

I feel like such a capital J jerk right now

I feel like we're getting invited to less stuff nowadays.

I feel like you should help out more around the house.

I feel more betrayed than when I thought that lawyer was gonna propose.

I feel more powerful than a lesbian's crotch.

I feel pride.

I feel sick. Keep drinking

I feel the same way, Chris.

I feel the same way, Chris.

I feel unappreciated,

I felt like a premature volcano.

I figure we've been on the road about 20% of the time

I figured all that clomping around up there

I finally give you a shot, and you abandon me in a movie theater?!

I forgive you, Peter

I forgot that Yelp is a weapon for dumb people.

I forgot the hat.

I forgot, I'm talking to a complete idiot.

I got a bunch of his friends sitting in a circle in there..

I got a nosebleed, and, uh, I don't work here.

I got a real hankering for pudding.

I got a surprise.

I got a tear of Laser Dragon

I got a tub.

I got him a picture of Spider Man

I got in trouble for something I said about a woman

I got my SAT scores.

I got my whole family praying on it.

I got some down there hair now..

I got something she could do.

I got the lowest score in Meg's class?

I got to be honest

I got to be honest, Joe, we came over here

I got to do something

I got to go call somebody and hang up.

I got to post this.

I got to run out to the parking lot.

I got to say, Carter, you've done a good job.

I got to say, it feels kind of weird having someone join me for lunch

I got to tell you, Bri, I am a big fan of sundresses.

I got us all some food.

I got you a little present

I got, like, eight more nipples to cover up before my run

I gotta go sit in my den until you leave.

I guarantee you that as soon as you leave the room, they tear you to shreds.

I guess all our detective agency needs now is a name

I guess Cleveland's right. I'm sorry I got so hotheaded.

I guess I'll just have to find out when I land.

I guess I've been kind of a jerk, too.

I guess it reminded me of all the things I can't do.

I guess we were trying too hard.

I guess what I'm saying is,

I guess what I'm trying to say is

I guess what I'm trying to say is..

I guess you're ready for the purple room after all, huh?

I guess you're right.

I guess your father and I will have to talk to the principal

I had sex with a male baby and then got him pregnant!

I had them do that two wiener operation on me.

I hate everything!

I hate Lew Sheridan

I hate this! I hate you!

I hated that lady.

I have a duty to this country.

I have a hearing tomorrow morning. I may have to go to jail.

I have a lot of fun up here in my room.

I have an interesting factoid

I have had it, Peter!

I have maybe hours to live, and you're wasting them

I have no choice but to sentence you to 20 years in prison.

I have the same shoe size as Charles Barkley

I have to kill myself.

I have way too much money!

I haven't been attracted to Lois for a year and a half.

I haven't been doing too great in school lately.

I haven't been doing well on these practice tests,

I haven't been this surprised since we went to that restaurant on my birthday.

I hear you, Doctor. So...

I heard she gay.

I heard you guys are good at solving cases.

I heard, Peter! I heard!

I hired some guys to come to the house

I hope my dad's not watching ABC!

I hope you don't know much else about me.

I hope you enjoyed your afternoon,

I hope you make it. You're real good.

I I actually can give her more

I I always knew Chris wasn't a great student,

I I can't take this anymore, Stewie.

I I don't get what men see in her.

I I don't know Spanish.

I I don't know, Brian

I I don't see the connection there.

I I don't see what that has to do with the discussion

I I feel like the main character of As I Lay Dying

I I feel terrible.

I I got... I got something.

I I guess not.

I I guess we could maybe just order something.

I I guess when you put it that way...

I I I don't think that's the lesson.

I I just can't take it.

I I just want the old you back.

I I just... I've already run, like, so many "K" today.

I I sure did, sure did. I scared off the mailman, threatened Quagmire's cat,

I I thought we were gonna meet at the Tumi store

I I was just putting this cake in my purse for a friend.

I I won't look at it.

I I... I could never do that.

I I'm fine. Really. I I got more energy than a cruise ship conga line.

I I'm Ken, this is Pam, and this right here is Scott.

I I'm perfectly capable of taking a pill.

I I'm sorry. I got to get out of here.

I I've also heard that, like, crystals exist?

I joined the TSA... End of the show!

I just don't want you kids sitting

I just drink milk until somebody stops me.

I just feel like once I get them on a schedule, everything will be fine.

I just get all tongue tied with other girls.

I just got so wrapped up in all the attention

I just had the most amazing dream.

I just hate to see you two in a fight

I just hit 20 years in the air, and I got a big bonus

I just hope that Chris killing one extra man

I just know Lois would make my first experience

I just never feel happy. I strive for these things, and I get them,

I just ordered nachos, but good luck, Peter.

I just play away the blues on my saxophone

I just posed you like that

I just pulled a thousand muscles!

I just put Jack and Rose down for their nap.

I just really like spending time with you.

I just said I had to poop.

I just tell folks to go down to the Happy Handy Smile Massage

I just think she's really plain looking.

I just think you're a really cool island, and I'd like to get to know...

I just want to confirm that you understand that this is Joe.

I just want to turn in my last For Pete's Sake

I just wanted to make you laugh and cry

I just wanted to spend my last week with my best pals.

I just weirdly woke up in the laundry room.

I just wish I could do something more for you

I just work at a brewery

I just... I just like the Pacific Ocean!

I kidnapped all your enemies

I killed 200 wolves.

I knew there was only one actor who could portray Phil the Wolf: Glenn Quagmire.

I know

I know all of 'em, though

I know Apu's not your enemy, but I just wanted to say,

I know how much this meant to you,

I know I can jam it

I know I didn't just hear what that man said

I know I hit it into the water.

I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.

I know I shouldn't, but whenever she dances,

I know she liked... tents.

I know something that will help you sleep. Wait here.

I know talent when I see it.

I know this jail sentence seems long. But salvation can last all eternity.

I know this thing's gonna sink, but I'm having a good time.

I know this would've been a great day to surf

I know we made a few changes,

I know what I got to do.

I know what that means

I know what you got your fingers crossed for,

I know what you mean, Peter. He said I've gotta be more open and receptive

I know you mean the opposite of what you're saying.

I know you wanted the perfect Thanksgiving,

I know you were just trying to do something good for our marriage.

I know, but I have to say for audience.

I know, but I think we better.

I know, but I think we better.

I know, but that's what I liked about you, you know?

I know, but wouldn't it be great if you were?

I know, it's weird.

I know, Peter

I know, that voice. Ugh.

I know! Isn't it awesome?

I know.

I know. "Fee Fi fo fum!" Right?

I know. And now we're so far from home,

I know. But I just want Peter to see what a thoughtful man looks like

I know. I think there was a mix up.

I know. If we die, what's gonna happen

I know. It's a tying rope!

I know. So do I.

I know. That bullet's been rolling around in his junk drawer for years.

I left the comfort of the classroom

I lied about that.

I like Dick. You like Dick!

I like how you retell tired old gags

I like Joe.

I like these. These are good. Very classy.

I like to have it on my person at all times,

I like where the USA is headed.

I love being super pumped for 15 minutes

I love Duff

I love his town, I love his family

I love it

I love life and all the people in it!

I love playing the maracas. They're so fun.

I love that! Is that a popular expression,

I love today!

I love Train

I love you guys. Guys are the best.

I love you so much, Lois.

I love you, Dad! I love you, too, sweetheart!

I love you, Lois.

I love you, Lois.

I love you, too, Peter.

I made you keep track of all the words I know.

I make the decisions!

I matter!

I mean, being in this hospital bed,

I mean, but if anyone else wants to go?

I mean, dinner has to have started by now.

I mean, does it really matter what we eat?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I I used to love Duff when I was younger,

I mean, for God's sake, I sank your car in a lake.

I mean, God, if only we could get rid of these damn arms

I mean, he could've had anyone.

I mean, I ain't seen anyone this happy

I mean, I didn't think I'd ever be friends with Ice T

I mean, I discovered Mr. Peanut

I mean, I guess crazier things have happened.

I mean, I had that job creating ads

I mean, I want to fight

I mean, I was having fun, making new friends,

I mean, I've been completely wrong for years now

I mean, I've seen that guy get punched in the face

I mean, if George Foreman can make electric grills,

I mean, if it doesn't pick up soon,

I mean, it's not... it's...

I mean, let's be honest, we're not exactly the model of a healthy marriage.

I mean, my one note on these

I mean, not me

I mean, oh, shoot... I've got the horse

I mean, the the whole house is slanting down

I mean, the thing I always loved about Brian was

I mean, think of how many crises we've been in

I mean, unless you think it sucked, in which case it sucked

I mean, we just had a great day of fun and rides

I mean, what if he bit Stewie?

I mean, what kind of feet can fit into these shoes?

I mean, you got to be able to count bathrooms.

I mean, you have all these amazing qualities,

I mean, you supported me that day I accidentally wore Lois's jeans.

I mean, you're looking at the guy

I missed you, Brian.

I missed you, buddy.

I must alert the townsfolk!

I named myself Kaya!

I need a break, all right? I I j... I just got to get away for a couple weeks.

I need her to read me a bedtime story

I need ice cream

I need to accept the you that you want to be.

I need to know that you're gonna take this seriously

I need you, Lois.

I never back down.

I never cared for your most recent haircut.

I never did very well in school either.

I never had a chance to be like everyone else

I never should've come here.

I never thought of my kids' principal as being a friend.

I never want to lose this feeling

I noticed that you're one of the moms who hasn't yet

I noticed you also circled a bunch of things on her ticket.

I once beat a real estate agent in a game of chess.

I once saw Hack hit a ball out of the infield.

I only had nine payments left on that thing.

I overthink things sometimes.

I owe you, Max. You led me right to 'em.

I own a lot of theaters

I prepaid 40 bucks!

I promised these men a foot.

I quit my job, man!

I read that look wrong.

I realized I don't want other people

I realized I don't want other people

I really had to poop

I really liked having a store with you,

I record Ellen every day!

I refrigerated shoes.

I release you into the thick mire of stupidity.

I represent the Duff Brewery, and you, sir,

I respect you. You, too

I rock like this. I'm legit.

I said "up

I sank my entire bonus into this place

I saved our business

I saw a scary boy doing this, and I thought I'd try it.

I saw a small landing strip, giggity.

I saw that teacher at the concert with her boob out.

I saw you stomp that pigeon today with your bare foot.

I say, how long has that boy been treating you like that?

I say, that looks like a young Charlie Chaplin.

I say, this is my best idea since I robbed a Joseph A. Bank.

I sentence you to death!

I should check if your mother needs help in the kitchen.

I should just go down to the paper and sell 'em my own

I should probably watch that old episode of Lassie

I should start a "Sweet News" wall for stuff I think is totally sweet.

I should've been honest with you.

I should've known something was up

I shoved an employee at Wendy's and they called the cops.

I slept straight through.

I sometimes go down there,

I spend $600 a month

I still can't believe Brian bit you.

I still have the security camera footage somewhere.

I still remember the thud of the bat

I still see you!

I stink at this.

I stole the donuts

I sucked him dry

I suggest as your opener...

I superglued my counselor's butt cheeks together.

I suppose I could give it a try.

I suppose.

I swear to God, I thought dogs could breathe underwater.

I swear, I'll be sensitive and gentle.

I think he did a dam good job.

I think he's a pilot for Delta

I think I had, like, a Christmas miracle.

I think I owe you an apology.

I think I've put my shoes on the wrong feet.

I think it might be time to leave

I think it's coming out of my mouth!

I think it's great that Peter and Lois

I think it's time I had a little talk with him

I think she had a drug overdose

I think she looks weird.

I think she meant me.

I think that might be over the line.

I think that's awesome!

I think these turned out great.

I think we can really knock it out of the park

I think we just have to accept that this is how he is now.

I think we know that's never gonna happen

I think you and I are gonna get along just okay

I think you and I could get along very nicely.

I think you bought girl running shoes.

I think you can handle it.

I think you mean, what have we done?

I think you should talk to him

I think you're a dangerous sociopath.

I think you're gonna get a kick out of this

I thought I wanted to make that trade,

I thought I was here to watch normal intercourse

I thought if we had a baby it would bring us closer together.

I thought it was gonna be a Meg episode all throughout.

I thought we could all take turns telling a long story

I thought we could go down to the old swimmin' hole

I thought we had plans on Friday.

I thought we were getting paid!

I thought we were gonna go after Becca.

I thought you meant real modeling.

I thought you needed more space. I always want to hang out with you.

I thought you were out of town.

I thought you'd be the perfect person

I thought, while we filmed, we'd just keep all of our stuff on your lap.

I threw mine at a duck.

I tied the steering wheel to my belt

I told her ten minutes ago

I told him something else

I told the doctor C cups.

I told work he was getting dialysis,

I told you this is mine! You're never gonna get it!

I took of her last night to all my friends.

I took the doors off, so it's extra terrifying.

I tried the online dating thing,

I understand your apprehension, Meg.

I understand.

I urge you to finish the program.

I waited the mandatory week.

I want a hot dog.

I want it

I want it to happen with you.

I want nothing to do with the book,

I want to be a doctor.

I want to go live with Mom.

I want to kill more scientists!

I want to kill these cops!

I want to kiss that cow, but I don't want it to be my idea.

I want to know because I'm interested... what you did this week.

I want to look at you when it happens.

I want to play Call of Duty.

I want to put 'em both in my mouth

I want to win this war, and I want to do it fast. Ideas?

I want you to take over my Twitter feed

I wanted to avoid catching crap down at the police station.

I wanted to see if a billboard had real pudding in it,

I wanted to tell you the good news in person.

I warmed it up and put it behind

I was able to remove his tumor.

I was abused by my dad!

I was afraid I'd stick out, like the one guy

I was born nine times that day. And things never got easier.

I was going to take sister!

I was having a lot of strange feelings!

I was hoping you could help

I was in charge of planning Woodstock.

I was just sticking up for Duff

I was just thinking about you.

I was just thinking, since it's so nice out,

I was just trying to make people laugh

I was just trying to seem tough in front of my friends!

I was kind of jealous of it, so I guess I went a little crazy.

I was on a famous boat called the Gigantic.

I was once you.

I was only trying to help

I was out like a light

I was ****d by a bug.

I was so worried about you.

I was starting to think you wouldn't show, Dr. Dog

I was starting to worry this was a one way thing

I was stupid to think I could beat up Liam Neeson.

I was the only black man ever to go there.

I was thinking maybe we could all have a three way.

I was thinking, we should talk about having a...

I was throwing up all night last night.

I was too scared to fight Liam Neeson.

I was wearing lipstick and a wolf suit.

I was wondering where that was

I was wrong to choose sexiness over my wife.

I was.

I wasn't sure you'd want to hear from me.

I wasn't there for you when I should've been.

I wasn't worried.

I watch a lot of TV and movies.

I went to a high school kegger party.

I will cut you, bitch.

I will kill your son!

I will not see you Monday!

I will not! Our child is growing inside me!

I will, Grandpa.

I will!

I will?

I wish things were still heavy.

I wish you didn't have to die,

I won't forget this, Glenn Quagmire

I wonder if Cleveland's gonna want his sax back.

I wonder if Cleveland's gonna want his sax back.

I wonder if this temp is the same on my other foot

I wonder what it is.

I wonder what's in them. Sand or rice probably.

I would like to hear the specials.

I would like to hear the specials.

I would love if you guys would just call first.

I would love to talk to you about the craft.

I would rather hear the specials.

I wouldn't want to let down "Drizzlefoot321."

I, too, could survive the winter

I, too, could survive the winter!"

I, uh... I like to think so

I... I can't remember who I called.

I... I haven't gotten mail in a week. Nobody writes you.

I... I hope I don't screw something up.

I... I'm afraid you can't come.

I... I'm I'm sorry, I don't know what..

I... I'm sorry

I'd I'd be more catalogue, probably.

I'd knock his teeth down his throat

I'd like that. I'd like that very much.

I'd like to present you with this key to the city.

I'd like to thank you all for coming to Quagfest.

I'd never do that. 'Cause that'd mean I'd have to talk to Donna,

I'd probably put them in a tub.

I'd rather rot in jail than sit here and listen to all your crap!

I'll be as irresistible to her as wood is to a woodchuck.

I'll be right with you, Mr. Duckford

I'll be your loan officer, so why don't you have a seat

I'll drum up some business

I'll end up being one of those bus drivers

I'll get hit with a coconut so I lose my memory of this.

I'll get in a lot of trouble

I'll get the scissors and cut that poop off your bum.

I'll give you 50 cents to find my lucky baseball card.

I'll go first

I'll go search in first class, you go down to steerage

I'll go.

I'll handle this.

I'll handle this. My husband wants to open a checking account.

I'll I'll I'll shine your shoes,

I'll just have four to five beers to stop the shaking, and then I'll go outside.

I'll just have four to five beers to stop the shaking, and then I'll go outside.

I'll just put on Evan Almighty for them

I'll just walk around my yard naked, pee anywhere I want.

I'll kick all your faces. You got me?

I'll let him know you stopped by

I'll make sure everyone remembers your names!

I'll miss the way you reminded people about their belts.

I'll need to dry it out and completely rewire it.

I'll pay for their donuts

I'll probably just reheat some ramen and watch Grey's Anatomy.

I'll see you all in the morning for our first session.

I'll see you in two weeks. No parties.

I'll show you. Come on, you're spending the day with me.

I'll take it over here on my Brookstone massage chair.

I'll take it.

I'll take two.

I'll tell you what he's doing,

I'll tell you what we're doing here.

I'll tell you who this Stewie is.

I'll tell you who. The kind of guy who's always got

I'll think of something else.

I'll, uh... I'll go check on him right now

I'm a boy!

I'm a cop who can't save anyone.

I'm a husband in a legless marriage.

I'm a jerk

I'm a ******* clown

I'm a millionaire, Joe's a war hero,

I'm a selfish and pretentious jerk

I'm a The Simpsons

I'm afraid he'll have to repeat ninth grade.

I'm afraid you're off the project

I'm already going over the speed limit.

I'm ashamed of myself

I'm asking you, please... and and you don't have to tell me,

I'm back from getting my new teeth

I'm back. I'm published. Check it out

I'm bored. Can't we do something else?

I'm buying cigarettes from some guy on Craigslist.

I'm concerned about Pax, Maddox, and Shiloh.

I'm concerned that frog's in more trouble than she realizes.

I'm David Chicago!

I'm dreaming?

I'm feeling the runner's high.

I'm fine to drive. I'm so fine

I'm giving her all she's got, Captain!

I'm glad I bumped into you because I've been meaning

I'm glad to hear that, Chris.

I'm glad to hear that, Chris.

I'm glad we got here early. I like to watch the previews.

I'm glad you think it sounds good.

I'm gluten free now. But, you know, I'm not gonna be annoying about it.

I'm going in and getting us a turkey, Brian.

I'm going to a big party they're throwing in my honor.

I'm going to need your small, ridiculous tie.

I'm gonna be Buffalo Bill,

I'm gonna be harder to find than a nice cat.

I'm gonna be harder to find than a nice cat.

I'm gonna do it

I'm gonna go ahead and bet he's the guy

I'm gonna go ahead and close the shades

I'm gonna go ahead and thank you for donating blood today

I'm gonna go sell that condo.

I'm gonna have to take everyone's baby.

I'm gonna kill him, that's what I'm gonna do

I'm gonna lay it all out for Brian why we should have a baby together.

I'm gonna let that teddy bear go all the way

I'm gonna make you stay in the yard? Get in here.

I'm gonna play "Locomotive Breath" by Jethro Tull while he runs.

I'm gonna quote this guy to all my friends

I'm gonna show you kids how to have fun the old fashioned way,

I'm gonna start a blood drive.

I'm gonna start crying all over again.

I'm gonna take a year off, hit the open road

I'm good in a crisis.

I'm great. Come on in. Check out the new pad.

I'm hanging out with your penis and your heart.

I'm having such a craving for burgers.

I'm here a whole week, pal.

I'm hiding from the zoo. They want me to have a baby.

I'm his girlfriend. You are?

I'm I'm a dog. I'm your pet.

I'm I'm in the wrong Springfield.

I'm I'm so sorry, sir!

I'm in a box.

I'm in danger

I'm in. Yeah, totally.

I'm Jamie, and this is Becca and Karen.

I'm joking but I'm not really joking way.

I'm just gabbing with the girls.

I'm just going to take a little bit of his DNA,

I'm just gonna be easing her in.

I'm just gonna give it all I've got,

I'm just gonna walk around with my shower caddy

I'm just grabbing a little cheese and vino.

I'm just happy to have my best friend back.

I'm just really nervous.

I'm just sayin', how's the post office supposed to know?

I'm just saying, find someone really smart

I'm just saying, without Peter here,

I'm just saying, you probably have

I'm just trying to make sure you don't look silly.

I'm like, Go ahead, girl, it's your world!

I'm living a Justin lifestyle, and so is my family.

I'm locking those things up. Wait, you what?

I'm never going back to my old self.

I'm not crying!

I'm not even real. Merry Christmas.

I'm not even sure if that's good. It's scary good.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not gonna go to the doctor though.

I'm not just pieces of meat between pieces of bread.

I'm not letting you do that

I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I'm not talented

I'm not really sure. Two days, six months...

I'm not someone who often makes mistakes,

I'm not sure.

I'm not taking you anywhere. Geez, how far along are you?

I'm not the only one who got kicked out of camp.

I'm not worried, Meg

I'm not your clown.

I'm not!

I'm off to get a free movie set haircut.

I'm old, so I'm the victim!

I'm on edge. Saw Halloween II last night.

I'm out of here.

I'm paid to yabba dabba do!

I'm potentially in.

I'm real sorry about your mouth, Brian.

I'm really gonna miss all you guys.

I'm saying the Simpsons suck!

I'm saying you both are making good points.

I'm saying, Jesus, we are gonna help you lose your virginity.

I'm serious, man. I'm doing this.

I'm serious, you guys.

I'm so bad.

I'm so glad the times are not changing.

I'm so glad there's no hard feelings.

I'm so glad we found you!

I'm so sorry! Oh, what have I done?!

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I messed everything up today.

I'm sorry I mistreated you

I'm sorry I tricked you guys into coming.

I'm sorry I yelled at you

I'm sorry I'm late.

I'm sorry it's hard for you, Peter, but personal growth isn't always easy.

I'm sorry Joe's dream didn't work out for you, Peter.

I'm sorry we fought.

I'm sorry you won't get to meet him

I'm sorry, Brian,

I'm sorry, Chris.

I'm sorry, did you say Jesus is sleeping with your wife?

I'm sorry, I was just coming down the stairs

I'm sorry, I'm tryin' to read the Costco Connection here.

I'm sorry, Lois.

I'm sorry, Meg, but my friendship with Chris is more important.

I'm sorry, Meg, you're fired.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Quagmire, but my sentence stands. 20 years.

I'm sorry, Peter, you're fired.

I'm sorry, too. Here, let me turn your foot back around.

I'm sorry! I panicked!

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry. Can we do a happy yell again

I'm sorry. I have to put the boom box down.

I'm sorry. I'm not used to you wanting to know...

I'm sorry. Was that too harsh?

I'm still in charge of you! I'm a human! Stop it! Get away from me!

I'm still keeping all the gifts from the baby shower.

I'm supposed to meet the R.A. for coffee later in the common room, but until then,

I'm sure it was all meant in good fun.

I'm sure Jesus doesn't want some gross quickie.

I'm sure that's just the nerves talking.

I'm sure they talk trash about you behind your back.

I'm taking my body into the shop.

I'm taking this Bible.

I'm talking like this because I'm being very careful

I'm terrific. And that is so sweet of you to ask.

I'm the guy who killed your bodyguard

I'm the one who wrote the book

I'm the stepfather.

I'm tired of living my life in a tiny little box,

I'm trying to say that I accept your choice to forego surgery.

I'm trying to study for the SAT.

I'm uber. I'm awesome sauce.

I'm very sick from lobster.

I'm weird.

I'm whispering in court to look smart

I've also been working on my banter.

I've always talked about

I've been a world famous tough guy since I was 55.

I've been approaching this far too intelligently.

I've been back almost a year and I still got nothing going on.

I've been burned one too many times

I've been manic. Do you think Andy Dick is happy?

I've been thinking.

I've been working on this book for nine years,

I've been... I've been looking all over the table for you.

I've brought some samples if you'd like to try one

I've decided I'm gonna find new friends.

I've faced bigger challenges.

I've found the woman who I'd like to lose my virginity to

I've got a whistle, a cloth helmet,

I've got flip up shades on my flip up shades.

I've got to convince him to get that tumor removed

I've got to find some way to fix this.

I've had a rough day.

I've had enough of this "Justin" nonsense.

I've had it! Me, too.

I've heard all I need to hear to make a decision

I've heard they're filtered into Tom Sizemore's house.

I've I've lost all credibility, haven't I?

I've just been thinking about

I've made a series of small poops in my bath,

I've missed you, too, Peter.

I've never been better. I was living my life all wrong.

I've never been to Connecticut!

I've never even been in a picture before.

I've never even successfully made love

I've never felt this sad!

I've obviously caught you at a bad time.

I've only grazed it once and that was with a running start

I've pretended to be someone I'm not

I've spent my entire life in that ivory tower,

Ice T's wife is also coming to Quagfest.

If a woodchuck doctor could cure disease?

If anybody needs me, I'll be poolside

If he doesn't pass this test, he's gonna have to...

If he fails that,

If he seem like he dead, he ain't dead!

If I could not forgive, then I would be truly handicapped

If I finished all my surgery

If I get caught, I just tell the man I forgot.

If I have cancer, we're all going to Brazil.

If I want to get in, I need to look the part.

If I'm such a moron, then how did I get on a fancy boat?!

If it doesn't go perfectly, she'll be crushed.

If it fails, we're screwed

If it goes around 30 times in five minutes, you get to have a Diet Coke!

If it isn't Booger Breath and the Mushroom Tip.

If it's the shot from Psycho where you can see

If the clock ain't digital, you don't know that.

If the girl has had her blood, she is good to go.

If there's a bison..

If we sold these, we could make a ton of money

If we wait here at the convenience store, he's bound to show up.

If we're going to fix this relationship, we need a baby and we need it now.

If we're planning a party,

If you ask me, neither of these beers is wholly original

If you beat up Liam Neeson,

If you don't stay the hell away from my ass!

If you ever lay a finger on me again, I'll burn you in your bed.

If you guys believed in me just once.

If you say it like that one more time, I'm gonna drown you

If you think you got the chops for it.

If you want to come watch me. Sure!

If you want, I can take you as far as the bus station.

If you were ever face to face with Liam Neeson,

If you're gonna seduce my mother,

Igor, did you get the body?

Imagine coming here and having "Cool Dude"

In 50 years, we all go back to Earth and bite everybody.

In a couple weeks.

In an old tin pan. Who wants some?

In case I need a quick "inspo sesh

In case I open a nautical themed restaurant

In fact, for the rest of the week, no more screens.

In fact, I bet you're hungry right now

In fact, I think it was William Faulkner who said..

In fact, I think my problems started the day I was born.

In fact, the only thing that would make me happier is..

In fact, you seem like a prime candidate for The Chair.

In fact, you're so smart,

In fact...

In helping to rescue little Mikey Nicholson,

In high school, he didn't play sports, but he did wear a helmet.

In honor of Sammy, on the bus ride over here, we all sat in the back.

In human clothes, we heard.

In Lincoln's cabinet who didn't have a beard.

In most restaurants..

In order to successfully impregnate me.

In our holding cell down at the station.

In place of Glory, we will be showing Shaft,

In that cookie shop of yours, I bet your sales will go up

In the future, I believe there will be water wars.

In the middle of the room.

In the pocket. Some gnarlies out there.

In the pool and then be mad when they get wet.

In the shape of a little kid

In the Wrangler Jeans commercials beat their wives.

In their sons because they eat lunch with their coats still on.

In what my daughter did this week.

In which Mr. Neeson stars

In your swimsuit.

In zoo revenue later, he died

Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man Warehouse and Emporium

Input is ice cream

Instagram remembers for you

Instead of actually experiencing the world.

Interesting. Interesting.

Internet stuff is not real words.

Into a "tug" boat?

Into a night of physical intimacy with you..

Into coming on a couples counseling retreat.

Into my temporary uterus through my fertilization device.

Into rough, front yard, makeup sex.

Into something in Sinkhole Estates

Into the waistband of my pants and now it's sitting weird.

IRISH OFFICER Boppo!

Is about to boldly cross the Delaware.

Is actually making me feel much better.

Is approach your podium before you tell them to.

Is bring him back to Quahog where we can get him some help.

Is coming in for drinks, so let's get out of here.

Is constantly accusing people

Is everyone warm in here? Is it warm?

Is fighting some guy you've never even met!

Is getting to bang the woman of your dreams.

Is he gonna do it again? No?

Is it 9:15 already?

Is it dead?

Is it hard?

Is it possible you're not letting yourself be happy?

Is it spaghetti? A bowl of g****s?

Is like CeeLo trying to find a pair of pants

Is Lois pregnant again? No...

Is nothing but chemicals and empty calories

Is on its way... back.

Is really offensive.

Is that a statement or a question?

Is that it?

Is that sounding right to you?

Is that touching one of the cabbages?

Is that true?

Is that what you really thought?

Is that why there was blood in my stool?

Is that woman gonna be okay?

Is that..

Is that... is that Jesus?

Is the Hopeful Squirrel a boy or a girl?

Is the pool too warm for paint brushes?

Is the second worst.

Is the victim of flagrant intellectual theft

Is the yawgurt shop still open?

Is there anything else?

Is there anything I can do to change...

Is there..

Is this a good neighborhood?

Is this about money? Because I have a bit saved.

Is this being careful enough, Joe?

Is this the guy who wanted his pulse checked

Is this the right address?

Is this..

Is to just drive around town and see if we can spot him.

Is true, Lois

Is wonderful. How do we get him back now?

Is you don't take the inside deals

Is your baby pregnant?

Is your son Ron Livingston?

Is... is that it?

Is... is this... is this foreplay?

Isn't that the name of Chris' history teacher?

Isn't that weird? Yes, Stewie,

Isn't this a beautiful planet you two friends live on?

Isn't this holiday about being with people you love?

Isn't your birthday sometime soon, too?

It all makes sense.

It appears I've lost Brian to the dumb side.

It appears that I am now the only one

It certainly doesn't smack of desperation

It could be as simple as an ice bath.

It couldn't be that tan, long haired guy

It didn't come back, like you said it would

It didn't?

It enhances my life to know how yours is going.

It goes in a different direction

It has been one day since my last confession.

It is Duff

It is nice

It is only a ten minute ride, you know.

It is what it is

It is!

It is?!

It just doesn't seem like him.

It just goes to show you, Lois, books is bad news

It just so happens, Joe, that I already did.

It kind of got twisted up in our scuffle there.

It looks like he's chalking a pool cue.

It looks like you stabbed her. Like, 50 times.

It made me nervous. They could drown

It makes no sense!

It may have been inspired by Duff, but I I like to think

It means they have to be inserted into the patient's anus.

It means, stay away from Larry.

It might be our best chance to get off, giggity, the island.

It might be.

It never ends

It says there's a shoe kake party tonight.

It seems as though you could have had some of that memorized.

It seems like just yesterday she was born.

It should help you sleep

It sounded more playful in my head.

It starts as a tickle and then you can't quite reach it?

It sure is nice to be back in Quahog

It turns out that girl I took home from Peter's party last night is in high school.

It was a brutal war, it was a bitter war.

It was a perfect fabric.

It was all right, dude

It was awful. I didn't even get to go to my high school prom.

It was bought for me by Jesus, but now he's doing my wife!

It was gonna start to rain. Luckily, it didn't

It was just a green screen.

It was just a prank?

It was me

It was okay, but it would be a shame to waste

It was sad. That's why I fibbed on it.

It was still a nice thing you did for your brother.

It was the easiest way

It was tough, 'cause I had to move all my O.A.R. stuff to fit the Guster stuff.

It was very funny and enjoyable, so what I need you to do is

It was your turn, wasn't it?

It wasn't even funny, and I have a great sense of humor

It... it did spins and had flashing lights.

It... You kind of had to be there.

It'd be... I'd be so happy

It'll just take a second. I I normally wouldn't do this,

It's 18 and older, Brian.

It's 50 guys, one foot.

It's a boy, Mrs. Quagmire

It's a chair with wheels!

It's a couples counseling retreat.

It's a divorced woman who knows about lady parts and cheers you on. Let's go!

It's a five!

It's a good ocean. And so is the Atlantic.

It's a hybrid. Trust me, it's on.

It's a Katherine Heigl mask for you to wear while we have sex.

It's a living.

It's a plan

It's a strip club that gives away free cookies.

It's a symbol of all my failures.

It's about a handicapped squirrel

It's about, uh, Santa's Little Helper.

It's actually just Peter Griffin.

It's actually the first time I've been on a date since I got the nickname Gutterball.

It's all PowerBars and sheet music.

It's all right. It's okay. Don't worry, Chris.

It's also healthy for couples to have shared activities.

It's amazeballs.

It's because something is going on at home.

It's been a while since we've seen him.

It's been destroyed!

It's been so long, I don't know what other friends do.

It's been so long, I don't know what other friends do.

It's been such a blessing.

It's best to just move on

It's boring. It doesn't do anything

It's called "running," Lois

It's called Apathetic George

It's called jacks.

It's cold in New York City

It's cough syrup

It's even more magnificent than I imagined.

It's even weirder than that secret level in Donkey Kong.

It's fine, Joanne

It's for the baby, it's for the baby.

It's from all of us!

It's from the book, Peter.

It's gone.

It's gonna be like a block party

It's gonna cost several hundred dollars to repair.

It's good. I know everyone back there, so they let me drink their corn water.

It's got a nice porch.

It's got to be like,

It's got to be that new billboard advertising pudding on the highway.

It's green, so it probably makes something go.

It's his first time.

It's just a lousy rip off

It's just a very long drive from wherever you live

It's just like Gandhi always said,

It's just me and my upright dog.

It's just...

It's kind of cool. Kind of weird.

It's Lew Sheridan

It's like my body is just craving red meat.

It's like the rest of the world just shuts off,

It's made of Skittles.

It's my duty to take an open mouth nap

It's nice to watch TV when you have nothing else to do, isn't it?

It's nobody on Scooby Doo.

It's not for kids

It's not just in the street. Some of them are in private residences.

It's not Lew Sheridan, is it?

It's not like I'm a woman who's about to turn 30.

It's not making any noise.

It's not often that anyone says anything nice

It's not that good of a song, but we know it

It's not... it's not too... not too good.

It's okay, ma'am. This happens here at Bennigan's all the time.

It's okay, Peter.

It's okay, Peter.

It's okay, Scotty

It's okay.

It's okay. Don't panic. Call the doula.

It's one of those things that seems bad, but really is good.

It's only about two thirds of the way up

It's only infinity times what you bring home every week.

It's our last chance.

It's our only hope to save Chris.

It's porn... I never thought I'd do porn.

It's probably nothing, but there's a stain on the rug

It's sad when planes 'splode.

It's so weird that he argued over the price of breakfast this morning.

It's someone who understands me

It's something to chew on.

It's that lady who comes in, tries a sample,

It's that one that says "CBS Outdoor Advertising" on it.

It's that you're a moron!

It's the best thing! We used it to keep Italians

It's the JCPenney Thanksgiving Day Parade

It's the largest employer in Quahog, Peter

It's time for a formation they're not expecting.

It's time to get in the game and get dirty

It's time to give our man of the hour a chance to have his say.

It's too bad we already bought those tickets for the Whirlpool Aero Car.

It's usually somebody pushing your skull in the dark.

It's very far away from here!

It's very peaceful.

It's way better than that job I had

It's weird. That is weird, you're right.

It's what we do!

It's your liver; you do whatever you want.

It's...

Jack Nicholson?!

Jack Rober..

Jack Row..

Jane Austen?

Jason, I want you to promise me one thing...

Jason, I want you to promise me one thing...

Jeez, this place is a dump.

Jerome, you got to go to extra church!

Jesus Christ is about to have sex with my wife!

Jesus Christ is gonna have sex with my wife!

Jesus Hitler Christ sounds weird

Jesus, have you ever been with a woman?

Jesus, I asked you to lunch

Jesus, take the wheel.

Jesus, what kind of girls do you like?

Jesus! Jesus!

******* guys are supposed to be swimming in tail

Jill had a tooth fall out, and she swallowed it,

Joe and Donna,

Joe just had a baby.

Joe Swanson.

Joe, come on. Let's not kid ourselves.

Joe, I don't speak for Jesus. I just get him trim.

Joe, I got it. Trust me

Joe, I'd tell you to take your seat, but I'd be about 15 years too late.

Joe, it's 3:00 in the morning. We're trying to get some sleep.

Joe, Joe, stop. You're embarrassing yourself

Joe, quick, give me the book

Joe, that was amazing. You saved us.

Joe, that's amazing!

Joe, this happens all the time

Joe, wait!

Joe, we just got here

Joe, what are you doing?

Joe, what are you doing? You can't quit your job.

Joe, what is Bonnie's favorite food?

Joe, what the hell are you doing?

Joe, what the hell is wrong with you?

Joe, you're alive!

JOE: Hey, Peter, you're up there, now?

JOE: Three. Three idiots.

Joe's the one with all the talent

Joke on them! I find happy dog planet

Josh Radnor's twitter feed is so funny!

Judge?! What are you doing here?

Just a bunch of general guidelines.

Just a dead eyed idiot out on a Thursday afternoon.

Just a grown man with a pet hermit crab

Just a little heads up.

Just ask this guy

Just because there's a hot chick selling them.

Just don't do it in front of me, all right?

Just for the morning, you'll all be paired

Just give me the rope. Nobody has to get hurt, Brian.

Just give me the tray.

Just gum balls and marbles and balls of string

Just having dinner.

Just keep watching Tower Heist.

Just last week, I let you watch me complain after eating too many hot wings.

Just last week, I let you watch me complain after eating too many hot wings.

Just let me have it. Nothing is off limits.

Just letting people know.

Just like almond butter and no sugar added fruit preserves.

Just like Doc Martens.

Just like Humpty Dumpty did after his fall.

Just like I figured out who was stealing my lunch at work.

Just like PB and J,

Just like you got over your Hamster Dance Tourette Syndrome.

Just look at Snoopy's original happy dance.

Just mash Brian's pill in there

Just push through it, Brian

Just put it in the oven for half an hour at 350.

Just roll up those sleeves and address the task at hand,

Just searching for an identity, man.

Just so you know, I'm straight.

Just some random slut to maul in a bar

Just talk to him. He's all about helping people get well.

Just this morning, we've had multiple reports of stolen items.

Just wanted to see how the studying's going.

Just who I was looking for!

Just you watch, we'll be a bigger success

K E W L.

Karen's the one with the mommy blog,

Keep it cool, Lois.

Keep it going... don't be afraid of the burned edges.

Keira, that was an amazing night.

Keira! You totally rock for bringing those.

Ketchup came in a can.

Kicking.

Kidding!

Kids, everybody, family meeting!

Kids, get out of the way! I can't stop!

Kids, kids, it's happening! Get your coats! This is what we practiced for!

Kids, we need to talk.

Killed a kid yesterday

Killed a turkey for Thanksgiving!

Kim in marketing

Kind of seemed like you idolized him.

Knees and toes, knees and toes?

Knock it off. We've had to hear

Knowing that eventually you're gonna have to be the fat ass's pallbearer.

L Lois, it's probably just something I ate.

Ladies and gentlemen and people who have wandered in

Ladies and gentlemen, my 1,000th sexual conquest is...

Last name Keebum, first name Lee.

Last time, he threw out our whole bedroom.

Last year, I raised eight dollars

Late night phone calls lying on our tummies

Late? But I thought you and I could hang out

Later, dude!

Later..

Lay me out on the floor. I'm six two.

Lean back on the palms until they get weird creases.

Learning from pop up books and animal sound machines,

Leave him alone! Have you been drinking again, Phil?

Leave me alone!

Leave me alone! Go back to hell!

Leaving thousands dead and injured

Lecturing people on how to act?

Lenny Kravitz is about to have sex with my daughter!

Let him have it, boys.

Let me ask you, are you leaking? Because I've been leaking.

Let me get this straight.

Let me get this straight.

Let me just ask Heather.

Let me just dunk the turkey once

Let me just fire up the Internet here.

Let me just run this by my supervisor

Let me see if I understand you. Even shorter on the sides?

Let me see your contract, Quagmire

Let's do it right.

Let's do this.

Let's get a few candids.

Let's get started.

Let's get this over with.

Let's get you a rubdown

Let's go to Whole Foods and buy a bunch of stuff

Let's go trade this bra for a couple of Gatorades.

Let's go. Where are we going?

Let's have a smear

Let's have this man intubated and fit with a pair of lesbian shoes.

Let's just agree to stay a half hour away from each other

Let's just say your mom's about to see a diaper rashy scrotum.

Let's just see what we see and keep it to ourselves.

Let's just... let's go throw potatoes at Cleveland's house.

Let's not go crazy on the Christmas letter, okay, Lois?

Let's order... I was just thinking, let's order a kebab.

Let's play The Oldlywed Game.

Let's put that up

Let's see. Smoked whitefish, herring in cream sauce, smoked sable...

Let's see. Uh, did you contribute

Let's see. What will it be today?

Let's sing the Japanese national anthem.

Let's try on 1,000 shoes.

Let's you and me go pee in Meg's bed.

Liam Neeson has begun shooting his latest film.

Liam Neeson has three more hours to live.

LIAM NEESON: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Liam Neeson?! You posted my bail?!

Lieutenant Uhura, open all channels for..

Lift with the legs, right fellas?

Like "what the deuce"? Probably more popular

Like a 1960s British policeman.

Like a panda bear on a bed full of pillows.

Like a whale and his developmentally disabled brother.

Like an Asian guy going to a salon

Like Boppo, the inflatable punching clown.

Like Buster Keaton did in his first talking picture.

Like Charles Barkley.

Like Ernest Hemingway, would go for a drink.

Like I did when I was a kid.

Like Jason Biggs got from his grandfather.

Like like crazier than putting cops on Segways.

Like Moses and his buddy who liked to collect seashells

Like poo. Yes, yes, deuce like poo.

Like Scotty engineering the Enterprise

Like some kind of Midwestern teenager.

Like some sort of claustrophobic turtle.

Like that dog the Russians shot into space.

Like that fracking company we let drill in the backyard.

Like that two headed girl on TLC.

Like the Lone Ranger and Tonto.

Like the makers of Dreyer's ice cream

Like the Tasmanian Devil tucking in his kids.

Like the way I got used to wearing European diapers.

Like those two bearded dwarves walking across the street there.

Like trying to dress Jonah Hill for the Oscars.

Like what the gay scientist says.

Like what? Well, there's the "stop escalatin'" one.

Like when I brought museum behavior into my home.

Like when I found where the Wild Things were.

Like when we watched Battlestar Galactica together.

Like when your father told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac?

Like who?

Like you don't feel like you're worth it?

Like you don't want to spend time with me.

Like you're fooling me? Yeah, I guess,

Like, if he's seeing something kooky, he could be like,

Like, in case somebody bumps into me...

Like, like, you're handsome.

Like... like anything in the universe?

Limping down the sidewalk on my way to work,

Line by line from the past six quarters,

Lisa, no one has ever done anything this nice for me

Listen to the man

Listen up, maggots, you're in my house now!

Listen up, Meg: this TSA isn't sweaty enough for the two of us.

Listen, Brian, I've been trying to change you.

Listen, Chris, you're my friend, so I have to confess.

Listen, I'm..

Listen, is there any chance

Listen, Joe, how would you feel about your friend

Listen, Meg, would you want to go to a movie sometime?

Listen, Meg, your mom and I are sorry

Listen, pal, Jesus ain't no virgin.

Listen, Peter, if you're gonna act as David Chicago,

Listen, Peter, we should catch up.

Listen, there's something difficult that I've been trying

Listen, you probably get asked this all the time,

Live from New York City,

Local bestselling children's book author David Chicago.

Lois and I have never felt closer.

Lois don't do it right.

Lois Griffin.

Lois tried to give CPR to a kid at a wedding once, and when she knelt down,

Lois was right.

Lois would be madder than that time she got a Capp smear.

Lois, before you say anything,

Lois, before you say anything. I also got you a gift.

Lois, before you say anything. I also got you a gift.

Lois, can I play Angry Birds on your phone?

Lois, can the turkey please join us for dinner?

Lois, can you pour my juice?

Lois, don't do this!

Lois, I can't believe you tricked us

Lois, I think you should know,

Lois, it's okay... it's all a trick.

Lois, let's not play the blame game.

Lois, Lois, lock the door

Lois, meet Cookie, Sugar, Spice, Cinnamon, Brown Sugar

Lois, my partner at the law firm?

Lois, please begin.

Lois, please send these back to the factory.

Lois, we got to go!

Lois, we're home and Thanksgiving is saved!

Lois, when we got captured, I said, You rebel scum,

Lois, whip out your boob, give the boy his lunch

Lois, why don't my checks have any writing on them?

Lois, you made these?

Lois, you were right. Those women were talking about me.

Lois! Lois, it's back!

Lois! Lois!

Lois! Lois!

Lois.

Look at all these trophies!

Look at how tiny all these clothes are. It's so adorable.

Look at that smile

Look at this

Look at this. Dennis the Menace is just shoveling snow

Look at those hairless shins.

Look out!

Look, Bri, that one looks just like you.

Look, Chris, I I'm sorry I lied to you,

Look, Chris, I'm sorry. You can have Heather back.

Look, Chris, just give us that thing you took

Look, even if we don't work as best pals,

Look, Heather. The truth is,

Look, I I'm real sorry I got so worked up at my roast.

Look, i if you're not happy with your current property,

Look, I know everyone's sitting out there judging me today

Look, I know it sounds a little rough, but why don't we start

Look, I'd love to stay and talk, Neil, but I have homework,

Look, I'm really sorry I bit you.

Look, if you don't change what you're saying,

Look, it went further than your ball!

Look, it's not as expensive as it sounds.

Look, Jesus, just forget whatever Peter's been telling you.

Look, Joe, I messed up

Look, listen, just... here, just take this.

Look, Lois, I still got time to make this right.

Look, Mr Griffin's not here, but if you leave your name

Look, Peter can get this book into the hands

Look, Peter, I know it's a lot to ask

Look, the thing is, me and my new girlfriends,

Look, there really is no downside to this.

Look, there's only one way to settle this.

Look, we were wrong to try to change you.

Look, when I saw Peter become a hero,

Look, you guys, I...

Look, you guys, what we really need to do

Look, you may not be "book smart" or "history smart,"

Look, you told me to talk to him. I talked to him. And now you're nagging me about it?

Look, you told me to talk to him. I talked to him. And now you're nagging me about it?

Look, you want his number or not?

Look, you're the one who said you were going crazy.

Look! We got to get the attention of that plane!

Looking for shapes in the clouds.

Looks like boobs.

Looks like I found my sucker.

Looks like I found my sweetie.

Looks like this little town is safe again.

Looks like we have one turkey left

Losing a football game right now?

Losing your virginity is a big deal.

Lot of families, good parks.

Lot of people O.D. at these things.

Lot of POV stuff.

Lots of smart people do it instead of going to church.

Louder!

Lowered the nation's moral standards.

Lucille Ball was back there with us, and I saw her smoking a Cuban.

Made a few new friends. This is Chrysalis, Ichabod and Cancer.

Made out of all the stuff that got stolen.

Mahogany with brass handles...

Mail's here.

Make a wish.

Makes sense. Oh, thanks.

MAN A record crowd of 65 people turned out

MAN We now return to the All in the Family

Man, I am filling these Gatorade bottles as fast as I'm drinking them.

Man, I love college. So many chicks, so many parties.

Man, I want to beat you with so many things around here.

Man, I wish we could quit our jobs and solve children's crimes full time.

Man, look at these people. They don't breathe.

Man, they seem really upset

Man, this is the worst day of my life.

Man, those natives are pissed!

Marge covered her eyes every time the penguins surfed

Marla, I think we should just be ugly friends.

May I offer you the most sincere, honest apology I...?

Maybe another time, Stewie.

Maybe he's got something to do with it.

Maybe he's got something to do with it.

Maybe I can help

Maybe I got to find friends who can't make fun of my appearance

Maybe I should send Bonnie.

Maybe I'd actually be doing a good thing.

Maybe I'll get him to take it for me.

Maybe I'm just not meant to find a new group of friends.

Maybe it's little shells.

Maybe it's our fault Chris has such a screwed up idea

Maybe next time go straight to a medical professional

Maybe sooner than you know.

Maybe there's a way to actually show Chris history...

Maybe we can both stop these Hollywood Jew writers

Maybe we could make it, like, a Christmas theme.

Maybe we don't have to.

Maybe we should get out of Quahog for a while

Maybe we should open our own cookie store

Maybe we tell her that.

Maybe you can wear a bra some of the time

Maybe you could ask the tickle monster!

Maybe you ought to put some sunblock on

Maybe you should go talk to Cleveland.

Maybe you should open up an office. You know, finally start chipping away

Maybe your accomplishments don't feel real

Maybe. I guess there's just one thing left to do.

Maybe. I guess there's just one thing left to do.

Maybe... That doesn't feel quite right, either.

Mayor West, after working with you for some time now,

Mazel tov!

Me love Cookie. Om, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom..

Me neither. I mean, wives conspiring

Me trying to write a book

Me, too

Me, too, Peter.

Me? Yeah, you'd be perfect.

Me. A well known buffoon

Meat! Half a pound of turkey, please.

Meg is pregnant?

Meg, don't drink that soda!

Meg, don't you dare walk out that door, or you're grounded.

Meg, I thought we were gonna try to work on that.

Meg, I want you to have this

Meg, I'm still alive, but I'm badly burned!

Meg, I've got some disturbing news.

Meg, trust me, you ace these SATs,

Meg, we do care.

Meg, we know you've been doing foot porn,

Meg, why are you home so early?

Meg, you need to know that you matter

Meg?

Methinks the Hoff protest a month.

Mi casa es, uh...

MICHAEL BUBLE STYLE SINGER (with ♪ I... just... ♪

Michael Jordan underwear commercial

Mickey Rabbit, Sponge Cow, and Clifton the Small Blue Dog

Microsoft

Might as well just call it Dennis now

Mikey, you're safe!

Mine's from wiping too hard.

Minetti.

Mis Mister..

Miss Eleanor! (applause)

Miss Tammy's in her car yelling at her boyfriend

Mittens.

Mm hmm, yeah, we both work in marketing.

Mm. Mm.

Mmm

Mmm, oh, yummy.

Mmm, that's too bad

Mmm, the insides of men!

Mmm!

Mmm.

Mmm. Donut

Mmm. Donut

Mmm. God, your hair is delicious

Mmm. Mmm. Oh, my God, Th these are delicious

Mmm. There it is.

Mmm. Well, these are delicious

Mmm. Yummy... donut

Moe's Tavern.

Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking

Moist.

Moisturizer? Sure. Okay.

Mom, Dad, I've done a lot of thinking,

Mom, Dad, thanks for keeping me

Mom, I need a check for the school field trip.

Mom, I think something's wrong with Dad.

Mom, is Dad gonna die?

Mom, what are you doing here?

Mom! Dad! Meg is doing foot porn!

Mom! Heather's disappeared! Have you seen her?!

Mom? Dad?

Mom? Dad? I want you to meet my new girlfriend!

Mom?! What's going on here?

Mommy, I don't like the wheel man

Mommy!

More mac and cheese. Here, just keep it going.

More more like he took me for a walk

Morgan, the coq Au vin is divine.

Morning sickness.

Most evil people have

Most of those guys are all serious.

Most people aren't usually that nice to me.

Motion to have the last eight years stricken from the record!

Move along. Got to keep the hallway clear.

Move out, Irish trash!

Moving to the purple room is not an achievement.

Mr

Mr. and Mrs

Mr. Brown, can you please state your occupation for the court?

Mr. Griffin, did you or did you not distribute alcohol and marijuana to minors?

Mr. Griffin, do you have any evidence that is not based on film or television?

Mr. Griffin, I'm not joking... or a doctor.

Mr. Griffin, she was underage.

Mr. Griffin, this is the Office of City Planning.

Mr. Griffin, would you like to cut the cord?

Mr. Octopus, who lets little boys grind on his rump

Mr. Quagmire, I'll give you 24 hours to get your affairs in order.

Mr. Quagmire, wait!

Mr. Quagmire, your story is a sad one, but that doesn't excuse your actions.

Mr. Spock, give us readings on..

Mrs. Griffin, please,

My car won't slow down for some reason.

My complaints about you so he can back you up.

My dad once gave me a gun to hide

My dad was a military man, so he wasn't around much.

My favorite passage the other day.

My foot equals your balls squared.

My garden party has been ruined.

My God, he's got the return pad!

My God, it's a miracle!

My God, what does it take

My God, you look like one of those animals.

My God.

My hands are stinging from the vibrations!

My locker.

My misguided carnal instincts are the result of being raised by a sexual deviant.

My morning scream

My only hope for leniency is to bring in character witnesses

My phone's not working.

My point is, Brian could have the surgery and be smart again,

My prom date was a scarecrow I stole,

My real passion is discovering talent like yours.

My sitting with you at lunch was part

My teeth!

My turn.

My water just broke. Oh, my God!

My whole life is a joke.

My wife is taking Jesus's virginity.

My wife said I'm not allowed to get mad at you anymore.

My... I used... I... My... word...

My... I words... I used words.

N Not really. But they invented comedy.

Nah, he just acts lonely and lies about being a virgin

Nah, I'm not into Froosh

Nah, it's for everybody. It's great to just stand there

Nah, man, I've never felt better, Beef Stew.

Nah, nah, I'm not gonna get it.

Nah, nah, I'm not gonna get it.

Nah, you already paid me... in laughs

Need input

Need to step in and...

Neil! There you are!

Nelson, Jimbo, Principal Skinner, Sideshow Bob, Apu

Nestled somewhere between the ocean and your imagination:

Never judge a book by its cover

New Joe!

Next time there's a sandwich in the fridge

Next time, if you have an idea,

Next to an astonished chef?

Next to my weirdly hot girlfriend with dark teeth

Next to the trash, if you get hungry

Next, we...

Niagara Falls? Ain't that just for lovers?

Nice bike, butt munch!

Nice day, isn't it?

Nice job.

Nice lady.

Nice Thanksgiving.

Nice to meet you

Nice, right?

Nice! One thousand, on the nose.

Nickelodeon... casually ask your daughter

No

No

No

No

No bandana wearing, Frisbee catching hippie dogs!

No crime solving, camera mugging Scooby Dooby dogs!

No family, no friends.

No further questions, Your Honor.

No Irishman can resist: Mrs. Potato Head.

No jumping out.

No luggage. Car's full. Let's go

No man should be so poor he cannot pay for a donut.

No matter how painful that is.

No need to. Your partner already sold us on it.

No occasion, Lois. I just want to piss a couple of guys off.

No one cares about cheating anymore, Meg.

No one? All right.

No one? What's wrong with you people?

No parking lot, hind leg dancing YouTube dogs!

No problem.

No talking unless I say!

No talking unless I say!

No way you tied that on your own.

No way your son would learn the drums in that amount of time.

No way, not as good as you. I hope you make it.

No way, not as good as you. I hope you make it.

No way!

No way.

No way. I'm not gonna let my pal Jesus

No way. We're a team, Brian, whether you like it or not.

No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time

No, at this hospital we obtain the sample

No, Brian

No, Brian, are you kidding?

No, Brian, this is called yoga.

No, Chris, Brian is the one with the brain tumor.

No, Chris, it's something else. Come on.

No, don't put Terry on. You you can just tell him.

No, he is not

No, I couldn't sleep with him.

No, I don't know what that means. Oh, "means."

No, I don't think so. Why?

No, I haven't, sweetheart. B But you know what?

No, I I didn't even know you'd read my novel.

No, I I mean, when was the last time you bought me flowers,

No, I I mean, when was the last time you bought me flowers,

No, I I talked to her.

No, I mean it. How could one bad test score

No, I think you're misunderstanding me

No, I wouldn't.

No, I'm afraid that was a white lie to get you here, Brian.

No, I'm not doing anything. Just sitting here with the baby.

No, I'm not his mom, you little bastard.

No, I'm not taking your side, Peter!

No, I'm saying sex sells

No, I'm serious.

No, in a threatening, creepy,

No, it does not.

No, it doesn't! I do it to my son all the time

No, it means TV.

No, it's a letter asking you

No, it's not. It's awesome

No, it's not. See?

No, Liam, I'm not doing your stupid chores anymore.

No, Meg. I'm your father, and I'm interested

No, no, bones are too big. But baby bones aren't.

No, no, Bri... No, you can't. Brian, I need your help

No, no, Dick's too short for that Glory hole

No, no, he's he's not really in here! He's...

No, no, I got it, Lois. Let me just lick my thumb

No, no, I'm talking about women.

No, no, it's okay, Brian.

No, no, just keep going.

No, no, no, I've said too much.

No, no, no, it's gonna be nothing like that.

No, no, no, it's okay! It's okay! Don't you see, Brian?

No, no, no, Lois. That's not how we're gonna do this.

No, no, no, no, I don't want to make that trade

No, no, no, no, no, no..

No, no, no, no, that's not it.

No, no, no, nobody would kill a bunch of babies for maracas.

No, no, no, that's just money

No, no, no, that's not a good thing.

No, no, no. I do not go the butt way.

No, no, no... greeting guests as they arrive

No, no, they're angry, Chris,

No, no, this is great. Mm, mm, mm. Yum.

No, no, we got the blanket.

No, no. You win. You win. I quit.

No, not "see you tomorrow."

No, Peter, it's too close to dinnertime

No, Peter, the problem is you.

No, Peter. I'm handicapped

No, Peter. It's your Lois.

No, Peter... Glenn has to go to court.

No, sir, I've been sitting here for the last three hours selling lemonade.

No, somebody who lost theirs at the church did.

No, thank you we are a screen free family.

No, thank you.

No, that's not it.

No, this is just the same as Duff, but, like, worse.

No, we all just booked a vacation together

No, we can't trust you not to kill yourself.

No, we don't

No, you know what I mean.

No, you stop it

No, you're not supposed to hit it into the water

No, Your Honor, I did not.

No!

No! Don't hurt Heather. Don't hurt my girlfriend.

No! Get away! He's gonna get ya!

No! I can see now

No! Jesus is about to have sex with my wife!

No! Just let me die!

No! Pizza!

No! You use real words!

No?

No? My turn again?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Absolutely not. I am not living like this.

No. And why are you saying the dog's name before Dad's?

No. I don't feel so good

No. I think they need intensive therapy

No. I'm not good at anything.

No. Maybe don't sit on my bedspread, please

No. No

No. Shaggy?

No. That that sounds like a separate issue

No. The Stinky V.

No. We've come this far.

No. Wolves must be tortured.

No. You can't make me.

No. You need to know what you did.

No. You say hi to Muriel Goldman

No... there's so much I haven't done.

Nobody gets a straight look at nothing!

Nobody look at him, and maybe he'll just leave.

Noel dying, the uprising, all of it.

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. That's gonna be me in, like, a minute.

None of the commandments are written in stone.

None of the past matters!

None of you bastards are my friends no more!

None of your business how much it was.

None of your business how much it was.

None of your stations even work.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope. Uh...

Normally when we do those, there's there's, like, a joke.

North Dakota. We're not even the best Dakota

Not as the meal, but as our guest?

Not at all. Yeah, me either.

Not every strip is gonna be hilarious.

Not just a joke, Peter

Not now, Peter! Geez, what's wrong with you?

Not now! Not like this!

Not since Slick Willy Clinton

Not so fast.

Not talking trash and gossiping behind her back

Not that I wasn't tempted.

Not that kind of vet.

Not to upset you, and for some reason

Not too ridiculous for you to put a baby in me.

Not very long, I'm guessing

Not women.

Not you, a girl.

Nothing beats smoking and standing

Nothing happened.

Nothing. I made it up. Well, stop it. It's terrible.

Now all we got to do is name the store

Now don't forget to water the plants every other day and change the cat's litter.

Now for a slippy, no boots run through the snow to my car.

Now get the hell out of the bar, you pathetic son of a bitch

Now go get 'em.

Now go wow your guests with conversation.

Now I go into a store,

Now I think you're the only person

Now I'm just gonna reach for the shampoo.

Now I'm way into wooden beads you move along wires.

Now let me ask you a question.

Now let me just pay the busboy and we can get out of here.

Now let me out of this deal and give me my money back

Now let's meet number 1,000!

Now let's open your presents, kids.

Now the publisher wants another book and it's all on me!

Now this makes it real!

Now to take this thing out for a spin.

Now you got to kill them, too.

Now you're just doing voices

Now, before we begin, I want you to know the record is just past my watch.

Now, Brian, did you have any questions for the doctor?

Now, Chris, this is Brazil

Now, down on all fours like the rest of them!

Now, I am obligated to disclose

Now, I wasn't planning on doing this today,

Now, I'll mostly be hitting on waitresses

Now, I'm gonna help you study by nailing your door shut.

Now, I've given us all backstories.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to Chris's room.

Now, Mr. Griffin, I understand you're here to speak on Mr. Quagmire's behalf.

Now, no celebration of my 1,000th would be complete

Now, now, maybe they just shot Donna twice.

Now, Peter, I'm out of crackers,

Now, please tell us what Mr. Quagmire said he did with the girl.

Now, remember, Brian's probably

Now, remember, it's England, so take long deep breaths.

Now, she's been planning her daughter's wedding for a year.

Now, sir, let me ask you something else

Now, Stewie, would you like your food served to you

Now, tell us fast about your nonsense,

Now, the man at the podium is Thomas Jefferson.

Now, the most obvious step would simply be to stop drinking.

Now, we can't be late for our meeting with the bank

Now, we're going to start by hearing the waiter

Now, what is your biggest takeaway from our travels?

Now, what's the most important thing in her life?

Now, which Cylon is that?

Now, who wanted the brain?

Now, you'll need to administer these pills,

Now.

Nowadays, everything is done on the Internet.

O Okay, I'll do it

Of a 20 year old, and then I vomited

Of a carefully laid out plan to get close to your sister.

Of a monkey forcin' that sex act on a frog at the zoo.

Of an old plane trying to take off.

Of anybody possibly thinking I could be a model.

Of anything else?!

Of blended rum drinks

Of course he can.

Of course I am.

Of course I did.

Of course not.

Of course not. Being friends with women is way more complex than that.

Of course not. I wouldn't expect you to

Of course you can.

Of course, I'd love to tell you what happened.

Of course, Meg.

Of course, Meg. I care about my family.

Of course, sweetie.

Of course.

Of course.

Of course. I keep all my important papers in my bosom.

Of driving with my shirt off like New Mexico trash

Of every kid in America

Of Irish guys being fat, drunk and stupid

Of receiving one within the next 24 hours.

Of The Write Stuff writing classes...

Of thinking they're better than you.

Of those funny Southwest lifeboat attendants.

Of what it's like to have sex with Quagmire.

Of what you did to my son, I forgive you,

Of where? I'm not sure exactly.

Of writing a comic strip

Of, uh... uh, dreaming.

Officer Swanson, I'll remind you that you are under oath.

Officer! Me child's been kidnapped!

Oh

Oh ho, that's what they meant on their Web site:

Oh ho, you're a feisty potato.

Oh my God, this is gonna happen.

Oh, "Dad." I just got emotional.

Oh, and don't drink the water

Oh, and don't worry about not hittinbottom.

Oh, and I took your fancy smoke detector!

Oh, and I'm gonna dress like a slut

Oh, and thank God all the commotion about Dad's comic blew over

Oh, and the ones that fall on the floor,

Oh, and while I'm pregnant, I'm going to need you

Oh, and, look, he's with Ed McMahon!

Oh, awesome!

Oh, back at the store, I, uh, tucked my boner

Oh, big Dumpster that that reminds me,

Oh, Bonnie won't let me spend any more money on Peter

Oh, boy, here it comes.

Oh, boy, I haven't had this much fun

Oh, boy, I'm blending right in with you gals.

Oh, boy, is this 'cause of the time I pushed off of you

Oh, boy, is this 'cause of the time I pushed off of you

Oh, boy, it's been really slow.

Oh, boy. What did I have for lunch?

Oh, Brian

Oh, Brian

Oh, Brian, I'm so glad you're all right.

Oh, Brian, that's wonderful news! You're going to be okay!

Oh, Brian's all serious

Oh, Chris is in trouble.

Oh, Cleveland, I couldn't.

Oh, come on, Brian

Oh, come on, Brian. It's still early.

Oh, come on, Chris.

Oh, come on, don't be a wimp!

Oh, come on, get up! They need you down there.

Oh, come on, guys

Oh, come on, Lois, the Bible's

Oh, come on, Meg.

Oh, come on, Peter. Not this again.

Oh, come on, Quagmire, you're a grown man, responsible for his own choices.

Oh, come on, what the hell? Aw...

Oh, come on, you're overreacting. The roast was your idea.

Oh, come on. Are you serious? Yeah.

Oh, cool!

Oh, cool! My FICO score just went up a hundred points.

Oh, cool! That brick I ordered

Oh, cool. My friend Pete is here.

Oh, could I just try a little sample?

Oh, crap

Oh, crap

Oh, crap

Oh, crap, I left my phone in there.

Oh, crap, I'm losing my grip!

Oh, crap!

Oh, crap! Lois! I don't have the phone!

Oh, crap.

Oh, crap.

Oh, dear God

Oh, dear, I was using that car as pants

Oh, dear, it's from Principal Shepherd.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. What did they say?

Oh, did I tell you I'm gonna be doing a lot of abbreve's?

Oh, don't remind me.

Oh, don't worry, sweetie.

Oh, dude, is that your mom?

Oh, European history. American history was last year. Then..

Oh, fine.

Oh, for God's sake!

Oh, for Pete's sake

Oh, forget all that.

Oh, Fudgsicles!

Oh, God, I think another one's coming!

Oh, God, they're crawling all over me!

Oh, God, this has got to be it.

Oh, God, whatever.

Oh, God, why do bad things happen to good people?!

Oh, God, yeah.

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God, it's coming! Oh...

Oh, God. What?

Oh, good, Meg, you're here.

Oh, good, the flowers came!

Oh, good, you're already here

Oh, good. We can steal

Oh, great.

Oh, great.

Oh, Gregory Peck... whew!

Oh, hang on, guys, I got to talk to my dog.

Oh, he does do it again.

Oh, he's gonna be kneeling in front of a lot of guys, but I doubt he'll catch their names.

Oh, he's got to get moving now.

Oh, here she comes now. Oh, here she comes now.

Oh, hey Mama. Hey, you seen my copy of Into the Wild?

Oh, hey there. Cool hat, weird nose

Oh, hey, Bri. Hey, you want to go out and get some gluten free pizza?

Oh, hey, Brian.

Oh, hey, Butter.

Oh, hey, Chris

Oh, hey, come on, guys.

Oh, hey, guys.

Oh, hey, guys. How's it going?

Oh, hey, guys. What's going on?

Oh, hey, look, you made a little dinner party.

Oh, hey, Meg.

Oh, hey, Neil.

Oh, hey, that's my old rope toy

Oh, hey, you guys.

Oh, hi, Chris. Where have you been?

Oh, hi, Landon.

Oh, hi. Aren't you a cutie.

Oh, horrors.

Oh, I am so sorry. Let me unplug that.

Oh, I better just stick with the sample

Oh, I caught two of them trying to eat each other,

Oh, I certainly hope no one sees Landon's mom bobbing for Stew.

Oh, I don't know about that, Jamie. Pigs eat slop, Lois only cooks it.

Oh, I feel terrible for Bonnie and the kids.

Oh, I got to remember that.

Oh, I hear you, Quagmire.

Oh, I I got one. I got one.

Oh, I I just assumed after that incident in the parking lot

Oh, I I just ran a red light.

Oh, I know the one... Brian's cousin Jasper.

Oh, I know..

Oh, I like that voice

Oh, I love it. I love it.

Oh, I love shopping at Christmastime.

Oh, I see three young men who could use the tickle monster.

Oh, I see. You want me to tell your best friend

Oh, I talked too long.

Oh, I think we got to the root of the problem.

Oh, I thought it might have a funny riddle on it

Oh, I understand. That lunch didn't have your name on it,

Oh, I'll find one.

Oh, I'll get to the bottom of this. Take care, Donna.

Oh, I'm not healthy?

Oh, I'm selling my old Beanie Babies to make money for the prom.

Oh, I'm so bad

Oh, I'm so sorry, Peter.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry. You look just like one of the baristas.

Oh, I've got the original Call of Duty right here.

Oh, is that supposed to be funny?

Oh, it just went to 39 minutes!

Oh, it seems we got us a comedy dog.

Oh, it turned out that window was there.

Oh, it was nothing, Brian.

Oh, it's a busy night.

Oh, it's an old boom box. I don't own any cassettes,

Oh, it's nothin'. Just a little something I learned volunteering

Oh, it's you

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, Kimmie and I fell asleep on the beach.

Oh, Landon, no!

Oh, Landon, what's the matter?

Oh, let's do it!

Oh, Lois, I'm glad you're here.

Oh, Lois, I'm so glad you're here.

Oh, Lois, thank God! Listen, I can't decide

Oh, Lois, your breath smells like eggs. Talk that way.

Oh, Lois, your breath smells like eggs. Talk that way.

Oh, Lois, your dog threw up.

Oh, look at you... you're flyin'!

Oh, look, a tie. Perfect.

Oh, look, an empty tire with some water in it

Oh, look, here's a simulation

Oh, look, Jesus, you shouldn't be alone during Christmas.

Oh, man. There she is

Oh, Meg, I'm sure you're good at something

Oh, Mom.

Oh, Mr. Harry, you're really not gonna like what I have to say.

Oh, my back is killing me.

Oh, my friend Terry told me you can get high from licking paint.

Oh, my God, are you okay?

Oh, my God, Brian.

Oh, my God, Chris stole all that stuff.

Oh, my God, Dad, it's our car!

Oh, my God, I bit you!

Oh, my God, I had a comic? That's hilarious!

Oh, my God, I thought you were a boy.

Oh, my God, Joe killed himself!

Oh, my God, that thing's positive!

Oh, my God, that was great!

Oh, my God, that's amazing!

Oh, my God, there he is!

Oh, my God, this is bad.

Oh, my God, this is legit ridic.

Oh, my God, this place is gorgeous.

Oh, my God, what have I done?!

Oh, my God, where the hell have you been?

Oh, my God, you get to work with beer?!

Oh, my God, you have chocolate macadamia nut?

Oh, my God, you're serious! People are gonna think

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! And in 18 years,

Oh, my God! Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!

Oh, my God! Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!

Oh, my God! Chris?!

Oh, my God! Help! Someone call 911!

Oh, my God! Look at your teeth!

Oh, my God! Our car!

Oh, my God! Peter, that's the lost Nicholson kid!

Oh, my God! Somebody stabbed the groom!

Oh, my God! The ones we have a zillion of

Oh, my God! We've got to get him to a hospital!

Oh, my God! What is it, Peter?

Oh, my God! Your first name is Justin?!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Is this my acceptance to Hogwarts?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. Phil?

Oh, my God. That is crazy.

Oh, my God. That's terrible about Haiti.

Oh, my goodness. That's enough cake for you, Mary Beth.

Oh, my poor dog. He will die up there.

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

Oh, n now she's just setting me up

Oh, nice to meet you all.

Oh, nice try! I certainly do not!

Oh, nice try! I certainly do not!

Oh, nice, homophobia.

Oh, no Scooby Doo, huh?

Oh, no you don't!

Oh, no, all taken care of. Brought her to the pound this morning. She went peacefully.

Oh, no, can't do that, Joe. We're friends. We look out for each other.

Oh, no, he's kidding.

Oh, no, I don't want to get in the way.

Oh, no, it's not a perfect day.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm I'm not a cat.

Oh, no, no, no, Mr. Neeson,

Oh, no, no, no, no. That is not happening.

Oh, no, of course. Our first priority should be to keep the vinyl clean.

Oh, no, we're not.

Oh, no, what if it's bones?

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no! I slammed it too hard, and the house is gonna squash me!

Oh, no! Keep rakes away.

Oh, no! Oh, God! We may have to throw away the television.

Oh, no! This is terrible!

Oh, no... you said you wanted a heart

Oh, not just any man, Lois.

Oh, not to worry, there are places where those people can be warehoused.

Oh, nothing

Oh, now I get it. That's why you found God

Oh, oh, and how she loved bleeding from her nose.

Oh, Peter

Oh, Peter, did...

Oh, Peter, I'm so sorry I lied to get you to come here.

Oh, Peter, just be careful.

Oh, Peter, that actually sounds kind of romantic

Oh, Peter, that's beautiful.

Oh, Peter, we've been driving all night

Oh, Peter! They're beautiful!

Oh, Peter.

Oh, Peter. Thank you.

Oh, please don't hurt me!

Oh, please. What... Who..

Oh, probably just save it.

Oh, right on.

Oh, right, 'cause none of us can kick.

Oh, right. I, uh... sneezed real hard

Oh, Rupert, you're such a sneak.

Oh, sarsaparilla!

Oh, save the cheap theatrics. This isn't one of your crappy short stories.

Oh, she wanted to be here, but she got hired to be the stuffy

Oh, she's busy with the blood drive.

Oh, so it was a test.

Oh, so then Jack takes these two pails of water

Oh, so this is what Lil Wayne keeps almost dying from

Oh, son of a bitch!

Oh, sorry about that

Oh, sorry, I got to take this

Oh, sorry. I thought you were gonna ask something else.

Oh, speaking of which, tomorrow, bring in a pair of your dad's pants.

Oh, Stewie, you're upset.

Oh, such a nuisance!

Oh, sure. Maybe another time.

Oh, sweet! Egg salad!

Oh, sweetie, did you get a boo boo?

Oh, thank God we got on this bus.

Oh, thank God, I wasn't sure we were gonna make it.

Oh, thank God, Joe. I thought I was dead!

Oh, thank God, we're back.

Oh, thank God!

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank goodness!

Oh, thank you for finding a way to make it sound horrible.

Oh, thank you so much

Oh, thank you, Jazzercize.

Oh, that dough is gone, Lois

Oh, that is the nicest thing anyone's done for me

Oh, that tears it!

Oh, that.

Oh, that's a clown I painted, so you know I'm truly insane.

Oh, that's cool, bringing outside beer into my bar

Oh, that's Double D Day.

Oh, that's easy. Her daughter Emily is a competitive diver.

Oh, that's it, Landon!

Oh, that's it!

Oh, that's just the amount of superficial quasi knowledge

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, that's okay. I'll just take the school bus.

Oh, that's silly.

Oh, that's so Muhammad Hot a.

Oh, that's too bad, 'cause he really needs one

Oh, that's wonderful.

Oh, the bookstore closed and is now a Target

Oh, the rails are off this thing.

Oh, then here! Take it!

Oh, there's a head in the freezer

Oh, these are incredible

Oh, things never work the way they do on the box.

Oh, this is a big moment for Stewie.

Oh, this is bad. This is real bad.

Oh, this is nice, spending this time together.

Oh, this'll be so fun

Oh, those aren't T shirts. Thems is hot dogs.

Oh, totally! Shrimp on the barbie, huh?

Oh, uh, nothing. Everything's fine

Oh, uh, uh..

Oh, uh...

Oh, um...

Oh, wait a minute, I didn't notice you have a pierced ear.

Oh, wait, a are you bothered by sorority noise, though?

Oh, wait, I don't know if you're gonna be in it, Joe.

Oh, wait, I think I messed something up

Oh, we don't have to watch this.

Oh, we sure can, Lois

Oh, we used to be that happy.

Oh, we're going to want these, Brian, believe me.

Oh, we're gonna ruin so many people's evenings!

Oh, we're not ladies, you.

Oh, what do you care? What does anybody care?

Oh, what the hell?!

Oh, what's going on in here?

Oh, who am I kidding?

Oh, wow. Jesus, that's great!

Oh, wow. Look at that windmill.

Oh, wow. Now that you mention it, everybody does look kind of dumpy.

Oh, y you better get rid of that before you get in there.

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah, 'cause they're like, "Rah! That's gross!

Oh, yeah, 'cause you know him so well.

Oh, yeah, Brian, there's something for everyone on Amazon.

Oh, yeah, I knew them two was hummus

Oh, yeah, I seen that pudding billboard.

Oh, yeah, it cracks up the ladies.

Oh, yeah, it's great. He'll do anything I tell him to now.

Oh, yeah, it's real hard being a real estate agent

Oh, yeah, my trike. Eh, I'm kind of over that thing.

Oh, yeah, right. Can we do what we normally do,

Oh, yeah, the old scratchy trunk blanket.

Oh, yeah, we definitely need some women there.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you do

Oh, yeah, you got a couple

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah! And we were all throwing bread at 'em?

Oh, yeah! Boom!

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah? Not for long it ain't

Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood is based on fraud

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Did I get it?

Oh, yeah. Every woman looks good in a sundress.

Oh, yeah. I'm a huge fan of "FATSPOL."

Oh, yeah...

Oh, you know it, homey!

Oh, you know, he's a big star.

Oh, you know, uh...

Oh, you mean fuel?

Oh, you're a dirty doctor, aren't you?

Oh, you're being too hard on yourself.

Oh, you're telling me

Oh!

Oh! Aw! Son of a whore!

Oh! Oh, man!

Oh! Oh, my God!

Oh! Ow!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. A Joni Mitchell CD.

Oh. Hey, Peter

Oh. Hey.

Oh. Hi, Brian

Oh. I was under the impression that you were a dog

Oh. I'm just trying mine out in the store.

Oh. Oh, my!

Oh. Oh, yeah. I could see that.

Oh. Ok... Okay.

Oh. Okay. Well, this is actually kind of funny.

Oh. Sorry, Glenn.

Oh. That's pretty cool. Thanks

Oh. That's really upsetting.

Oh. Uh... hey, Brian.

Oh. W Wait, that's real? I thought that was, like, a Make A Wish thing.

Oh. Well, if I got to donate, he's got to donate, too

Oh. Well, tomorrow, Heather and I are going to the park to picnic and fly kites

Oh. Well, tomorrow, Heather and I are going to the park to picnic and fly kites.

Oh. Who's this?

Oh. Yeah. N no, no. You know, I would totally do that.

Oh..

Oh...

Oh... about that.

Oh... so I did.

Okay

Okay, "Big Dicks For Kids."

Okay, "Justin... Peter... Griffin."

Okay, all right, let's try sitting on my knees.

Okay, before you say anything, no,

Okay, Bria you can do this.

Okay, Brian, so we like the same girl.

Okay, Brian, the key to these things is to find

Okay, buddy, you ready to test out those hosting skills?

Okay, but do you think this house will hold its value?

Okay, but five dollar limit.

Okay, but only with the sound off

Okay, but we'll keep mine ready. Could be the nail in the coffin.

Okay, Chef Fudd, I was a little disappointed in you this week.

Okay, Chris, now, women really dig those firemen calendars.

Okay, cut back to me.

Okay, Dad, you got us in. Now just go.

Okay, enough! No more help!

Okay, everybody.

Okay, for our next exercise,

Okay, go run along with your teacher.

Okay, good workout.

Okay, great. And who are we?

Okay, guys, Lois wants me to find Cleveland.

Okay, guys, there's no better way to draw out an Irishman

Okay, have fun.

Okay, he's still not at the mini golf course.

Okay, here comes the top.

Okay, here's the field! Good bye forever!

Okay, hold on, let me do a small dippy bob turn.

Okay, I call. What do you got?

Okay, I got a great idea how we're gonna find my stolen car

Okay, I guess we should eat.

Okay, I have another important job for you.

Okay, I want the deets, like, yesterday.

Okay, I'll be in the waiting room barking at the fish in the tank.

Okay, I'll give you a tiny bit of this

Okay, I've had enough

Okay, it's later than this.

Okay, it's later than this.

Okay, just a few more worrrds...

Okay, Landon, time to sabotage you

Okay, last night I did some personality assessments

Okay, let's get this garbage out of the street.

Okay, let's go for a ride in my open Jeep.

Okay, let's see. Now, what are the ingredients to a viral Internet video?

Okay, next is Karen.

Okay, next page

Okay, now let me tilt my glasses down and ask the date.

Okay, now people really love that viral video

Okay, now that's pretty cool.

Okay, now we've really got to get on that ship.

Okay, now we've used him too much.

Okay, now, see? She didn't say "good morning" to me,

Okay, okay, it's all right. C Calm down, calm down.

Okay, okay, perfect.

Okay, okay, Whirlpool Aero Car, then White Water Walk, then we bring Joe back.

Okay, Peter, I got to take the kids to school now.

Okay, Peter, I've got a list of chores here.

Okay, Raylene, I'm Dr. Hartman.

Okay, Rupert, we're going to play a game.

Okay, Santa's Little Helper got all tuckered out

Okay, so get a lead pipe and bust this girl's kneecaps.

Okay, so just normal penguin stuff now.

Okay, so the new couple pairings

Okay, so, uh, hi, folks, and thank you all for coming.

Okay, so...

Okay, thanks, Bonnie. Next I want to ride a bike.

Okay, that helped.

Okay, that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.

Okay, that's all our time.

Okay, that's enough

Okay, that's good.

Okay, that's more like it.

Okay, they're sleeping.

Okay, this is already hurting my hip.

Okay, this must be Meg's thing.

Okay, this one is deaf.

Okay, time for some recent history.

Okay, we'll be down in a minute.

Okay, we'll do the Whirlpool Aero Car, and then take Joe back to Quahog.

Okay, we'll go, but just give me a minute

Okay, well, first, I'll need to see a photo I.D. and a birth certificate.

Okay, well, he's not at the mini golf course.

Okay, well, here goes.

Okay, well, I'll, uh... I'll see you later.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go put on my python and walk to the park.

Okay, well, you two are clearly in love,

Okay, what else, what else?

Okay, what's this?

Okay, who wants to taste it, and who wants to smell it?

Okay, you can have those.

Okay, you just called me Ray again.

Okay, you know what? I'm in charge of the turkey.

Okay? You deserve better

Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay. All right.

Okay. How does this work?

Okay. I feel a numbness radiating down my left arm.

Okay. I'll take it.

Okay. I'm a ten, you're a four

Okay. Jill's barren.

Okay. Quagmire, you should kiss that cow.

Old woman who slowly comes around to it in a rap video.

Old, crazy harmless mayor.

Omaha Beach, 1944.

On a dog.

On a plane for some reason.

On a residential street.

On account of my buddies all being nasty sons of bitches,

On scented candles at the farmer's market

On taking a picture of myself every day for a year

On that little adventure with me,

On the bottom and three pigeons sitting on top.

On the history final, right?

On the Internet. She was in my area.

On the other side of that barrier.

On the other side of this curtain?

On the patrol for fannies.

On the phone again, so it looks like I'm doing lunch.

On the rippin' and the tearin'?

On the Titanic didn't alter anything in the present.

On the way over or no, you're good?

On this history exam tomorrow.

On your body, which would totally take me out of it.

Once people know you got one, there go your weekends.

Once the girl proves her age, that's it... you're guilty

Once you hit your runner's high,

One of the kids had a nanny cam hidden in his room.

One of the kids had a nanny cam hidden in his room.

One of them drove right up to me.

One of them thought I was a bear.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...

Only one person has to get hurt, Brian

Only without licensed characters

Oo cha, oo cha, oo cha, oo cha!

Ooh

Ooh, and sherbert.

Ooh, I ain't sat down in a hot minute!

Ooh, I like when Dad talks tough. He sounds like Dirty Harry.

Ooh, now I want that one.

Ooh, ooh, I got it.

Ooh, ooh! Monty, Monty!

Ooh, prank phone call!

Ooh, sorry, ma'am, we don't valet motorcycles.

Ooh, this is the best haunted house ever.

Ooh, what does that green button on the far panel do?

Ooh!

Ooh! "Early." "Doctor." Put those on there, too.

Ooh! I want to light the candles, Pop Pop!

Oop, that's the back of the box.

Oop, uh, oh, Chris was shot at school.

Or "Boo ****,"

Or "She Works Hard for the Money."

Or "Yay ****"

Or a movie.

Or at least not with him.

Or coil your penis!

Or friends and family,

Or he could skip the surgery and stay dumb like this.

Or healthy thing for a boy your age to have.

Or I'd bash your face into a bolognese.

Or I'll just put in the coordinates.

Or I'm gonna tell people on Yelp there was a pube in my salad.

Or like a short section of one musical recording

Or maybe you're in the mood for something

Or maybe you're that comedy dog with Robert Smigel's hand up your backside.

Or or how I have tiny little baby sneezes.

Or or maybe draw Lois taking a hot tub dump,

Or scrub your toilets!

Or the ice cubes in your pitcher would have melted.

Or worse

Or you can watch the big game at Chopper's Bar and Grill,

Or... remember when Cleveland wore briefs under his boxers

Or...?

Ordinarily I'd say no, but that adult kickball league

Ordinary legume

Ordinary legume.

Oskar Schindler wasn't real.

Others are calling me a hoagie.

Ouch! Jesus heard my mean thought!

Our business is cookies

Our daughter just left for some sleazy foot porn party.

Our dog drew that.

Our first day of business.

Our friendship is more important than any one girl.

Our judicial system is so broken.

Our loved ones and, uh, resisting... temptation.

Our marriage is too important to me.

Our summer cabin is near the obedience school.

Out of the way! Nobody else matters!

Outback Steakhouse Extreme!

Over a cone shaped cup of water.

Over and over again.

Over here, bro!

Over there!

Ow, my leg!

Ow, no, that hurts.

Ow! Ah, damn it!

Ow! Damn it, I'm gonna kill you, you dick!

Ow! My knee!

Ow! That hurt a little bit.

Ow! That was a loud crack!

Ow! What the hell? That really hurts.

P People think I'm fat?

Pa shooo!

Palm trees are very sweet, 'cause, like, the beach.

Paper clip and rouge! Paper clip and rouge!

Pardon me, that's my hat!

Passing ninth grade is that you're incapable

Pause for laugh and amazement.

Pee in her bed?

PENGUIN * La... *

People come, people go. I didn't give no mind.

People keep passing out and barfing,

People say we're different, but we're really not that different.

Pepperoni pie, extra cheese. G32.

Pepperoni pie, extra cheese. G32.

Percent, that's what

Perfect.

Permission to take fast, tiny bites of my own tail, sir?

Permission to take fast, tiny bites of my own tail, sir?

Pete Za

PETER (high pitched): Ooh, Mrs. Potato Head here!

PETER (slurred): I could totally beat up Liam Neeson.

Peter gave me a beer that tasted funny, and when I woke up,

Peter Griffin, in recognition of your heroism

Peter Griffin?

Peter moves his lips while he's reading, 'cause he's trying to eat the book.

PETER Shut up, Meg! You don't matter!

Peter, are are you just trying to take a knee until the end of the show?

Peter, are you okay?!

Peter, are you sure you didn't cut your brakes?

Peter, be careful up there!

Peter, Bonnie told me that Joe's very upset.

Peter, Brian's clearly not feeling well. You got to take him to the vet.

Peter, damn it, no!

Peter, did you throw up in the sink?

Peter, do you not see that we are completely screwed here?

Peter, do you want to go mini golfing? Yes.

Peter, don't you see what's going on here?!

Peter, enough with the rope.

Peter, enough. Come to bed

Peter, everyone else here has donated except you

Peter, get away from my ass!

Peter, get in here!

Peter, get out of Chris's room.

Peter, he wants to see us first thing tomorrow.

Peter, how old is that girl?

Peter, I just heard the best news

Peter, I know.

Peter, I think that's the wrong kind of pipe.

Peter, I think we need to talk

Peter, I thought you were gonna take care of this.

Peter, I want things back the way they were, too.

Peter, I was at an outdoor mall today,

Peter, I was at the park with Stewie, and someone stole his tricycle.

Peter, I'll handle this

Peter, I'm glad you made a friend, but what about our car?

Peter, I'm worried about Joe.

Peter, I'm your conscience, Jiminy Cricket.

Peter, I've had enough.

Peter, I've had the same haircut for 20 years.

Peter, it doesn't change a thing. You're still the exact same person.

Peter, it's not a wedding, it's an infomercial

Peter, it's not real pudding.

Peter, Jesus is never gonna find a woman going about it your way.

Peter, knock it off

Peter, let me tell you something.

Peter, listen.

Peter, Lois is your wife. You should be defending her,

Peter, Lois, Stewie, and then, uh, you know, the others

Peter, look over there.

Peter, maybe there's still time! Maybe you can stop them!

Peter, no!

Peter, of course your new friends have been talking crap about me.

Peter, our little girl is doing pornography!

Peter, please... I've got an early doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Peter, stay put. I'll call this in,

Peter, stop it!

Peter, thanks for going to find Cleveland and bringing him home safely.

Peter, that thing you said about not thinking

Peter, that... that's not correct.

Peter, that's not gonna work. You can't just...

Peter, that's what I'm talking about.

Peter, this chair costs $3,000.

Peter, this is disgusting.

Peter, this is getting out of hand

Peter, this is never gonna work.

Peter, this place has been closed for six years.

Peter, this was your idea!

Peter, wait

Peter, we can't eat a live turkey.

Peter, we got a problem.

Peter, we got to do something.

Peter, we're eating. Just tell us what color it was and be done with it.

Peter, we've got a houseful of people coming

Peter, what are you doing?

Peter, what did you do?

Peter, what did you do?

Peter, what the hell is going on?!

Peter, what the hell?!

Peter, when is Lois's birthday?

Peter, where are we?

Peter, where do checks come from?

Peter, while I'm away, I want you to hold onto my antique, gold Rolex watch.

Peter, why the hell do you look like that?

Peter, you got to take him now!

Peter, you have to apologize

Peter, you know I haven't. And I know for a fact that you haven't, either.

Peter, you promised me you would do the dishes.

Peter, you seem off today.

Peter, you should do one

Peter, you should see this

Peter, you sound like an idiot.

Peter, you turned our store into a strip club

Peter, you're awesome. You're so funny.

Peter, you're doing a good thing

Peter, you're loud, you can't hold down a job, and you got high blood pressure.

Peter, you're never gonna get close enough to Liam Neeson

Peter, your arms are turning purple

Peter, your comic in this morning's paper

Peter, your wife is such a pig.

PETER: Yeah!

Peter!

Peter!

Peter?

Peter?

Peter? Peter?!

Peter.

Peter's chair.

Peter's got a small penis, but, hey, nothing grows in the shade.

Peter's so fat and stupid, Lamar Odom tried to bang him.

Peter's so ugly, he couldn't get ****d in our holding cell down at the station.

Peter's Wife's Cookies

Pfft. Liam Neeson. What a fraud.

Phew!

Picture your audience naked

Pictures come in squares.

Piece of junk.

Piece of junk.

Please don't embarrass me here.

Please excuse the mess

Please forgive me? I do, Lois.

Please get out. I never drive this car. My wife died in it.

Please join me in welcoming David Chicago.

Please put your hands together for Peter Griffin!

Please stop calling

Please take my baby!

Please write to this address quickly.

Please, don't tell the other islands.

Please, go ahead, Mr. Quagmire.

Please, Peter?

Please, please, I'll do anything!

Please, you don't understand!

Please. Don't try to act like you guys care.

Please. I'd like to hear.

Plus, being myself isn't that impressive.

Plus, I can make it worth your while.

Plus, I met the most amazing girl.

Plus, it softens them up, so you can get the bones right out.

Plus, there's people waiting behind you!

Plymouth Rock gave us both sets of genitals!

Political

Pre Soviet Russia?

Precious

Prescott Towers.

Prescott Towers.

Pretty impressive

Pretty much everywhere, I hear.

Pretty much just boils down to four or five catchphrases.

Pretty powerful stuff.

Principal Shepherd, exactly how poorly is Chris doing?

Probably... probably way more popular.

Prospective juror number 17, the defendant is a kraken.

Proves it empirically.

Pull over to that gas station

Punish! Your! Toilet!

Purple with success. That's the color of money

Purses and rouge!

Put it behind your neck.

Put on a wig.

Put up or shut up. Right now.

Putting me on the spot in front of everyone.

Quack quack!

Quagfest? What's that?

QUAGMIRE Ladies and gentlemen,

Quagmire screams when he urinates.

Quagmire, I'm afraid you're under arrest for statutory ****.

Quagmire, we need your help finding Meg.

Quagmire, what color are Kimmie's eyes?

Quagmire, you got to get this

Quagmire? Cleveland?!

Quagmire's on the board.

Quahog's only luxury residence

Quahog's premier luxury living experience.

Quick, Brian, it's getting away!

Quick, Chris, Stewie, get on!

Quick! Into the jungle!

Quite... quite the imagination on this one

Rachael Leigh Cook.

Randy Jackson was just a big sea turtle

Read the card.

Read the card.

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really? How do you know all that?

Really? No one's ever told me I mattered before

Really? Number one or number two?

Really? That seems weird.

Really? We'll we'll do it together?

Really? What's his name?

Really? Where?

Really? Why didn't you call us?

Really? Wow, that'd be great! Thanks, Mr. Quagmire.

Really? Yes

Really? You think I could model?

Really? You think so?

Really?! Oh, that's fantastic!

Relax, Brian, I think I see Chris right now.

Relax, it's just a questionnaire.

Relax, Peter.

Relax. I'm sure Wyclef Jean has got it all under control

Remember somebody said that?

Remember what happened the last time I had to choose

Remember, He is inside you all the time.

Remember, Liam Neeson's Irish.

Reminds them of what matters most in their lives

Resulting again

Rhode Island Folk Festival.

Right and wrong is a stake through the heart."

Right over there.

Right over there.

Right there.

Right, Homer? Hey, Quagmire who, right?

Riiiight...

Road house.

Roasted!

Ron Livingston! Thank you!

Rope!

Ruff, ruff! I'm another dog in here!

Ruff! Ruff, ruff!

Ruh roh.

Run it through the test before you embarrass yourself.

Run! Everybody run!

Runner's high?

Runners, take your marks!

Running on empty now.

Sam Cooke didn't know much about history,

Same here, Bart

Sand and sand and sand and sand

Saxophone?

Say hi to Maude Flanders.

Say something funny, and then stay upstairs.

Say the word, Brian. I want to hear you say it.

Say, that reminds me.

Say, you fellas know if Jerome serves dessert here?

Saying you could kick my arse.

Says so right here on my driver's license.

Scary stuff, scary stuff, scary stuff. Ding!

Scary stuff, scary stuff, scary stuff. Ding!

Scary stuff, scary stuff, scary stuff. Lunch!

Schwing! Schwing! Schwing! Schwing!

Scooby Doo?

Scott, you're not supposed to make jokes like that!

Scotty to bridge.

Scotty, it's fine.

Scotty, it's okay.

Scotty, we need more speed!

Scratchy blanket.

Screaming Aaron Eckhart's name.

Screw all you guys! I hope you all eat turds and die!

Screw this. I am done!

Screw you, Peter! You know what?

Screw you, Stewie.

Scuffin' up those floors pretty good!

See a couple fannies? Huh?

See you later, douche bags!

See, Brian?

See, Brian? Told ya.

See, his wife washed dishes for him

See, Joe, you're a hero, too.

See, Peter? And now you can have a cookie.

See, there's nothing here. Just a weird life sized lady doll

See, there's nothing here. Just a weird life sized lady doll

See? I can touch my nose

See? I told you this guy wasn't cool.

See? Like that.

See? She's got the boater on and everything!

See? This is pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I guess.

Seems kind of cowardly to blame someone else for your problems

Seems like maybe you're growing up.

Seems like you folks learned the lesson I intended.

Several other Duff variations, packages

Sex doll? I wish. Heather hasn't even let me get to second base.

Sex! Sex!

Shaved. Sor sorry, what what is it?

She accidentally high heeled her own stink hole.

She also weirdly told me that she squatted 250 today.

She bangs up her car, her husband's gonna be furious.

She can't take any more!

She comes in here every morning after her run

She had a stroke that killed the part of her brain

She had nobody.

She had so many children, she didn't know what to do?

She just wrote "vagina" on her boobs

She kind of annoys me.

She let Alan Ackerman smack her in the back

She said one

She was even saving money for it.

She was, um, popular.

She's a two breast, one ass fixer upper.

She's all like, "Oh, there's all these guys

She's almost ready

She's clearly stalling for time.

She's dead.

She's doing what?

She's my mother. We're supposed to be a team.

She's peanut buttering you up for something.

She's perfect, because she's only sort of hot,

She's perfect, because she's only sort of hot,

She's quoting page one.

She's run off to some foot fetish porn party.

She's supposed to be a parent, not a friend.

She's the one who brought four loose Sierra Nevadas

Sheesh, couples counseling?

Shenehneh!

Shh

Shh shh shh. Ah, the green shirt went by again!

Shh!

Shoo! Shoo! Get away!

Short, but handsome, slightly hairy, newly single salesman

Short, but handsome, slightly hairy, newly single salesman.

Short, but handsome, slightly hairy, newly single salesman.

Should have sent her my way. I love that book.

Should I put my foot in the soap dish?

Should probably warn everyone

Should we go to Chopper's?

Shouldn't be too hard.

Shouldn't you be in Detroit

Shouldn't you be out with Meg?

Showed who? What the hell's he talking about?

Shrink down to microscopic size, enter Brian's brain,

Shut up

Shut up, Meg

Shut up! I'm a full size person!

Shut up! I'm telling Miss Baumbakis!

Shut up! This is free!

Shut up! Why aren't you asleep? Why isn't he asleep?

Shut up! You're drunk! Stop serving her!

Shut your face.

Shut your mouth, bitch.

Signed up to be a classroom volunteer.

Silent and terrible, like The Artist.

Simple. I took your DNA and inserted it

Simpson.

Simpson. Homer Simpson

Since I had lunch at Tommy Sullivan's house.

Since I played with that Bublé wrap.

Since I'm your cool father Justin, we should bond with skin to skin contact.

Since Lois got her boob job.

Since my kids gave me that Father's Day gift.

Since the invention of the penny farthing bicycle.

Since we had that big Dumpster in our front yard.

Since you got that letter sent by carrier owl.

Since you moved back here anyway.

Sir, I think I know a way we can get them back.

Sir, if it takes the rest of my life, I will repay you.

Sir, please, take this money and use it to pursue your dreams.

Sir, the day we've had,

Sir, we can pay you back for the donuts when we find our car

Sir, what you're describing is precisely Mr. Bahama's vision.

Sleeping with Jesus just feels wrong.

Sliders, I think they're called. Ranch.

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

So be honest, huh? You guys hate them

So do I!

So feel good about that.

So from now on, anytime you got to cut one,

So he can get with guys' wives.

So he can survive in the wild

So he knows what a woman really wants

So here you go, a Pawtucket Patriot Ale

So I assumed that..

So I can plow your mother on the staircase.

So I climbed up there and came out a hero.

So I got the whole day off.

So I guess we got to go back to Quahog and find Peter a new job

So I guess we're both klutzes, huh?

So I had to wear a bathing suit

So I if Brian doesn't have the surgery,

So I just have to play whatever's on the radio.

So I need you to report in my name.

So I put an orange dot on her boarding pass,

So I thought I'd make a special batch for the blood drive

So I want you to take this and shine

So if you think you know her from somewhere, that's where.

So it might be a while until we find that car of yours

So it's fallen to me to take up the mantle.

So it's not a bad question.

So just go with "H"? Yeah.

So let's fill up at that gas station

So let's get the blood pumping with my Jack LaLanne record.

So let's just both watch TV.

So let's roll up our sleeves and get right to it

So let's try to be supportive

So lifelike!

So maybe we can find another frog for somethin' like that.

So maybe you are Kathy Griffin.

So my wife can cook you wrong?

So now I need you to be Brian.

So now you have to, too.

So say it. I matter

So she knew it was actually happening.

So she won't have to deal with that nonsense

So since you like golf, I thought we could play a round.

So so what do I do, just aim for the pond?

So tell me again, where's the lake?

So that makes me a little less bad.

So that's something we need to watch out for.

So that's the trade off.

So the kids can't hear us having sex

So there won't be this crazy disconnect of her face

So there's gonna be a real live book out there

So today, we're gonna do laundry together.

So we can all get home.

So we can get him back under control.

So we didn't have to do any of this.

So we threatened to destroy his family.

So we're gonna go inside and get some sexy shots of you doing fireman stuff.

So we're gonna go inside and get some sexy shots of you doing fireman stuff.

So we're we're friends again?

So what are you saying?

So what do I do now?

So what do we got today, boys?

So what do you say, Chris? Can we hang out again?

So what I need you to do is go to a local gym

So what? Egg salad don't go bad.

So what's for dinner?

So what's going on here?

So what's going to happen now?

So when you come home today, you'll have me all to yourself.

So you can absolve yourself of any responsibility

So you can see where I buy my clothes.

So you did commit the murder?

So you know the crab comes from the ocean.

So you ready to watch me kick some ass?

So you want to split this with me?

So you... you just stand here and watch the whole time?

So, are you having a good Friday?

So, Bri, how's that ankle itch?

So, Doc, w... um, how much Jamba Juice do I have to drink

So, everybody, how was your day?

So, here you go

So, how are the new pairings working out?

So, how are you feeling today?

So, how did you guys get captured?

So, how do you want to keep in touch? Facebook? Twitter?

So, how'd we do?

So, is that..

So, Mom, what are you gonna do with the shop?

So, pay close attention.

So, Peter, I assume if you're watching TV,

So, still got that rope, I see.

So, still no word from the police on your stolen car?

So, tell me, how did you decide

So, this is my room.

So, this is not your birth certificate?

So, this is the second vacation that I've watched

So, uh, what do you say?

So, we're starting with season six of Becker.

So, what was the cause of death?

So, when do we leave?

So, where do you live?

So, where exactly are we going anyway?

So, you know, Jar Jar wasn't there the whole time.

So, you know, um, I'm only wearing this diaper

So, you ready to admit

So, you say this gumball machine took your dime and didn't give you a gumball?

So, you say this gumball machine took your dime and didn't give you a gumball?

So, you see, Your Honor, thanks to my mom,

So... what's your superpower?

Some "gnar gnars." Was in one today

Some Grey security tubs have gone missing.

Some guys like Butter

Some of these I'm paraphrasing.

Some people just aren't able to learn from books.

Some sad news this morning as 38 schoolchildren drowned

Somebody check the rear I know I got a Lee Keebum

Somebody do something!

Somebody told me you guys went out once.

Someday a rain'll come and wash all this scum off the streets.

Someday a rain'll come and wash all this scum off the streets.

Somehow my foot got pregnant watching Tower Heist.

Someone stop him.

Someone's stealing it

Something about black people wearing all white clothes

Something else? I... don't know what this is

Something's going on. We haven't gotten mail in a week.

Sometimes a lighter.

Sometimes I just bite it like this

Sometimes I pluck them because I deserve pain.

Sometimes I roll up those tattoo magazines,

Sometimes people just need a little encouragement to succeed,

Sometimes relationships run their course and come to a natural end.

Son of a bitch!

Son of a whore! Give me some milk!

Sorry about that

Sorry about your job

Sorry I can't drive you to work.

Sorry to use your bathroom so much.

Sorry, boat's full.

Sorry, brah, all out

Sorry, can't hear you.

Sorry, Chris. Booty calls.

Sorry, I have family in town.

Sorry, I I didn't realize

Sorry, I stay out of fashion debates.

Sorry, I was up late last night.

Sorry, I'm being told this would be very expensive

Sorry, Joe, but the publisher loves me

Sorry, Joe's Wi Fi is really slow today.

Sorry, Meg, I'm swamped.

Sorry, Peter.

Sorry, sorry. Just finishing right now.

Sorry, the band's breaking up.

Sorry, this is a closed set.

Sorry, wrong number

Sorry, wrong number

Sorry! Sorry, Lois, I'm I'm tired

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Me no like to hang with work people.

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. We're on a smoke break

Sorry. Work. It's not work.

Sounds good. All right, well, I'm up at the podium.

Sounds like fun, Glenn!

Sounds like he needs a little fatherly wisdom.

Speaking of which, I'm gonna go howl at the moon

Speaking to each other with I feel statements.

Spend his birthday like that

Springfield, eh? What state?

Staged Revolution Marital Counseling.

Standing up this morning, if you know what I mean.

Starring a cast of people who make you say "Oh,"

Starring Richard Roundtree

Stay home today, Guido!

Stay out of this, Joe

Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of this story,

Stewie Griffin, welcome to the purple room.

Stewie has AIDS.

Stewie still screams, "What's happening?"

Stewie, almost everyone on the Titanic died!

Stewie, can you believe Brian built this?

Stewie, I don't think we can be friends

Stewie, I know you're worried, all right?

Stewie, I think that was a young Hitler.

Stewie, I told you, there's alcohol in that

Stewie, it's time for your bath.

Stewie, look!

Stewie, my heart rate is down to four beats a minute.

Stewie, there's a lot of sex and drugs at these things.

Stewie, this is awful.

Stewie, what are you doing here?

Stewie, what are you doing?

Stewie, what are you doing?

Stewie, what are you doing?

Stewie, what the deuce?

Stewie, what's going on?

Stewie, why don't you come and have a seat

Stewie, you have to get rid of it.

Stewie, you're drunk

Stewie, you're supposed to be looking for Chris.

STEWIE: I'm still in here!

Still no sign of Cleveland?

Stop it

Stop it! Here he comes!

Stop saying I'm your husband.

Stop saying that

Stop sending pictures!

Stop talking like that!

Stop to smoke.

Stretch the big spring.

Stretched out in front of him

Stuff 'em up my sleeve.

Stuffing your slob faces, taking video you'll never watch,

Stupid thief. It's got a vanity plate that won't even apply to him.

Stupid? Well, I don't know, I think he's kind of fun

Success is not given. It is taken

Such great butcher's arms on a musical instrument

Sucker!

Sulu, lock phasers..

Summers With My Slow Brother,

Sure did. How'd you pull that off?

Sure do. You're looking at one

Sure I did, Joe. I never stop to think.

Sure is a good day for it

Sure is, Lois. Now, shush. TV.

Sure, I'll agree to keep the conversation going.

Sure, let me just check my schedule.

Sure, why not?

Sure!

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. Great.

Sure. We both have hats.

Sure. You've got a great look.

SweeTarts, Jolly Ranchers, and the like.

Sweetheart? Slow your roll there, Cougar Town.

Swipe... wipe... swipe... wipe...

Take care.

Take it easy there, pal!

Take it to your grave.

Take me to jail!

Take one

Take the couples out, two by two,

Take your pants off.

Taking their stupid dog for a walk

Talking to, like, 80 people,

Telemarketing to buttholes

Television? How pathetic.

Tell all that Brian's getting another book published!

Tell him to stay exactly that weight.

Tell me you're joking.

Tell them what I did, Apu. He stole the donuts.

Ten. One.

Terrible

Terrible.

Terrible. I've got blurry vision. I feel cold and clammy.

Th This is, like, the worst time to ask for a soda.

Than Richard Branson.

Than setting up a confession booth.

Than the Air Force!

Than the first man to die in the Battle of the Boyne.

Than writing tough guy dialogue for a Jet Li movie.

Than your SAT scores.

Than... something else.

Than... Uh huh, keep going

Thank God I can't feel anything back there.

Thank God. I got to go tell Brian the deal's off.

Thank you for coming, Mr. and Mrs. Griffin.

Thank you for finding her boy

Thank you so much for finding my boy.

Thank you so much, sir

Thank you, Brian

Thank you, but I'm actually 42 years old.

Thank you, Chris.

Thank you, Father.

Thank you, Mayor West.

Thank you, Peter. Thank you so much!

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you. Come again

Thank you. He's a good guy!

Thank you. It's windy up here.

Thanks a lot, SAT.

Thanks again for watching the kids while we're gone, Daddy.

Thanks for being so cool, Lisa.

Thanks for changing your mind about drowning me in that river.

Thanks for doing my book report, Neil.

Thanks for everything, Noel.

Thanks for hanging out with me.

Thanks for not laying into me like everybody else.

Thanks for spotting my potential, Peter!

Thanks, Dream Brian.

Thanks, Dream Stewie.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, Jerome

Thanks, Lois, but you got to promise you'll warn me

Thanks, Mr. Peter

Thanks, Peter. I'm lucky to have you guys in my life.

Thanks, Stewie.

Thanks, Stewie.

Thanks, you guys.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. But this is all kind of surreal.

Thanks. I don't like losing any part of my lunch.

Thanks. I guess I should stop, drop, and roll

Thanks. So, I wanted to talk to you about...

That "little bastard" knows how to smoke pot out of an apple.

That ain't supposed to be there.

That and forwarding mildly funny e mails

That book really meant a lot to Joe

That celebrates their kids for nothing.

That coming here was a huge mistake!

That confused old guy must have been driving it by mistake

That could be my favorite thing I ever seen.

That doesn't bark at horses when I'm watching a movie.

That doesn't even make any sense.

That doesn't say "kick," but thanks, I'll keep that one for my lawsuit.

That doesn't sound like what you said,

That frog in the miniskirt putting a quarter in the jukebox.

That girl, right there.

That guy over there didn't donate

That has been bugging me all day.

That he wasn't just a pet. He was a friend.

That I am a proud, unashamed, active...

That I can throw a frog a hundred feet?

That I taped off my VCR from Entertainment Tonight.

That I think we'll be able to utilize

That I'm really, really serious about

That is 72 hours.

That is funny

That is funny!

That is the best cosmetic surgery in this family

That is the money you loaned me.

That is... that is a perfectly valid way of saying that.

That Jesus didn't really die on the cross?

That just got stolen from the park?

That kid..

That make you shake your head and say, "For Pete's sake."

That maybe I was thinking more metaphorically.

That means it's verified. I know!

That means you already did all my chores?

That movie about the two girls who meet Nixon.

That must be his ancestor.

That obedience school really schooled you in obedience.

That one looks like the Thompson Throat Lozenge girl!

That one's on the cover.

That one's wearing goggles.

That out of all the people in the world, Jesus chose me.

That parents don't completely trust.

That Quagfest was some party.

That says "Jack Robinson

That says a lot about your character.

That seat next to him's been empty for hours.

That seems optimistic. But look, if you want to make real money,

That sounds awesome!

That sounds great

That sucks. And I worked really hard

That that... that'd be peeing in the house,

That the previous owners were murdered in this house.

That this is the absolute zenith of your ability?!

That vaguely suggest they help you in the bedroom.

That VCR box in the basement?

That was an unearned giggity, Quagmire.

That was from Wayne's World.

That was incredible

That was just awful, Chris

That was lodged in your rectum.

That was the right thing to do, Peter.

That way, when I watch Black Swan, I can aim one

That way, you'll have no choice but to hit the books.

That you almost had a three way with a dog and a baby,

That you can't take a good nap with keys in your pocket.

That you don't have to eat all your meals in your car.

That you scream requested in the car.

That you'll need to know for your exam.

That, Brian.

That, uh, this holiest of days is about,

That.

That... Aw, crap, you know which one I mean

That... that's inappropriate.

That... was awesome.

That's $16 we're not getting back.

That's a different kind of whitefish...

That's a good idea. We should just go home.

That's a good temp

That's a good way to get those muddy boobs moving.

That's a gutter language.

That's a nice chair, Peter.

That's a perfect example. You put no effort into this marriage.

That's a thing? What, flour facin'?

That's a tiny pencil and pad citation for you!

That's a weird thing to brag about

That's Al Pacino

That's all black and Thai chicks.

That's all I can say.

That's all right, bird. I goes by smell.

That's also a fun activity.

That's always fun.

That's amazing. Hey, you're way too good to be doing that for free.

That's an actual question. I don't know who Quagmire is

That's awesome!

That's been digitally repurposed to be part of a new song?

That's brocade.

That's Dad's chair. He's gonna be mad.

That's enough

That's exactly right!

That's funny!

That's gonna go straight to the top of the charts.

That's got some sort of catchphrase?

That's great, Scotty!

That's great.

That's great.

That's guaranteed to appreciate in value.

That's how angry I am.

That's how I can always tell which guys

That's how we're gonna do this.

That's how you keep your bitch in line.

That's impossible.

That's it, Rupert! That's how Brian and I are going to improve our relationship.

That's it. I'm done.

That's just a wide pad of Post its I gave you.

That's my blood, you know.

That's my dentist.

That's my ride.

That's none of your business! I never wanted a cub!

That's not a chewing rope

That's not a joke!

That's not a regulation rim.

That's not entirely their fault.

That's not even a real person. That's the terrorist from Homeland.

That's not funny, Peter.

That's not funny; that's just nasty.

That's not so much, Lois.

That's not true

That's not true!

That's not true. If it was, I would've figured it out.

That's not true. Yes, it is.

That's odd. Your vagina seems to have a penis and two testicles.

That's page one.

That's part of the interview and everything.

That's pretty good, but try it like this

That's pretty good, right?

That's real pudding in there.

That's really great.

That's refreshing.

That's ridiculous. Why would I cut my own...

That's right, and I'm going to have to check your locker.

That's right, Cleveland had a deli! We should check there!

That's right, I want to be the man of the hour.

That's right, we got ways to break your spirit!

That's right, Your Honor. And as we know, according to Game of Thrones,

That's right! He's shooting a movie in Connecticut!

That's right.

That's right.

That's right. And there's not even a defense for statutory ****.

That's right. Don't let your chocolate levels get too low.

That's right. I hear you've been all over town

That's so cool you guys are gonna open a business

That's so weird. I was just thinking about pudding on the way over here.

That's still you, Peter

That's stupid

That's terrible

That's terrible

That's that's always fun.

That's the acronym I use for Faster Than the Speed of Love,

That's the appropriate response if anyone gets near your anus.

That's the best kind to be.

That's the coolest thing ever!

That's the eighth time you've asked me that today.

That's the first rule of...

That's the man who passed out at the liquor store.

That's the one weird thing in all this.

That's the second best advice anyone's ever given me.

That's the sound of Wayne's boner.

That's the spirit, Lois.

That's the worst score in my class!

That's two kinds of food.

That's two.

That's very nice of you, Mister...?

That's what a rooster says, not a wolf!

That's what I meant by "doing the dishes"?

That's what I meant by "doing the dishes"?

That's what I want!

That's what I was telling you about.

That's what I'm talking about

That's what we're gonna call this place.

That's what women do.

That's what you always say when you leave the house.

That's what you wanted, isn't it?

That's why he's my big fat houseboy now.

That's why I got this.

That's why I got to lure him out here to come to me.

That's why I was so good at selling low cost car insurance.

That's why I'm dressing up as the one woman

That's why I'm going to confuse you by calling it "erotica."

That's why I've had ringworm 11 times. I will roll in anything.

That's why I've never made any major investments with my dog

That's why it's called that!

That's why victory is always Brian's.

That's why victory is always Brian's.

That's why you have to say it

That's why you've been hiding from me in this motel?

That's your apology?

That's your main character.

That's your son!

That's... that's not possible.

The artist behind For Pete's Sake,

The attention you deserved

The bald headed chick from Empire Records.

The band Guster is the sweetest band of all time

The best Quahog has to offer

The best thing about going there is you get to fly over the Pacific Ocean.

The best way to kill wolves is to kill their leader,

The British will be here soon

The car came right up to me.

The ceiling is a pool. The ceiling is a pool.

The circle of perfect people?

The cookie shop is tanking

The cops here are a joke

The D batteries make it very heavy.

The deal was for couples only.

The decision has been made

The dog's not in charge of this house.

The Duchess of Lancashire, the heir to the Earl of Portsmouth,

The earthlings are destroying themselves

The end."

The entire property was covered in a thick brush.

The enzyme imbalance in your liver. Yeah, that one.

The father of our nation, George Washington,

The Flying V?

The foundation is totally out of whack

The General Car Insurance. It'll worry whoever you hit.

The greatest ocean of all time.

The Griffins are leaving anytime too soon!

The guy who wears the same long jacket in all his movies.

The harbor is poisoned.

The hell am I sitting on?

The human hat.

The inside of my hat smells so bad I'm not allowed

The Internet tells me that's something

The JCPenney parade?

The karaoke contest will begin in five minutes.

The little girl yelled."

The little lever I've been pushing, it's..

The majority of people

The majority of people

The man of the house

The marathon's in two days

The minute they walked in the door

The more I wonder if he's there by himself.

The names of all the guys my mom slept with.

The network that brought you your sunscreen in two days.

The new maid is peeing on me!

The old Brian had.

The one thing they're pretty firm about at the office

The only thing is, anyone can sell a nice house,

The only way I learned my ABC's was by learning

The packet says I got to play till I'm raw.

The Pawtucket Patriot Brewery being sued?

The people we see here every day are much worse.

The poor thing is... Aah! Aah!

The priorities are always creative,

The public loves me

The return pad!

The road has spoken.

The same exact amount of time you have, Lois.

The same squirrel from the first page...

The same way NASA counted on me during the Apollo 13 crisis.

The SATs are this weekend,

The second most amazing girl here,

The ship can literally go three times as fast.

The Single Girls' Guide to Happy Hour

The station that makes you feel like you're at a hotel

The the squirrel doesn't even sound hopeful

The three F's: food, fun, and...

The Tin Man felt when he finally got his heart.

The Titanic was one of the biggest disasters in history.

The tourists were taking pictures of me.

The way you treat that doll, you're gonna make her very happy.

The way you treat that doll, you're gonna make her very happy.

The whole family's dream is that she gets a spot on the U.S. Olympic Team.

The whole point of bringing us to Niagara Falls

The whole point of this was for us to spend more time together.

The whole thing, it just works.

The whole thing's been waterlogged!

The whole thing's going off without a hitch

The world is an abrasive place

The year is 1803.

Their love for each other.

Then by all means. I... It's just upsetting when you thumb your nose at the family.

Then Desi zipped up his fly.

Then how did I manage to frame you for eating the turkey?

Then I missed the bus, of course

Then I shall seduce yours.

Then I would be truly handicapped.'"

Then maybe we can take it off the table.

Then nobody would know about Africa

Then put it back in the trunk for the rest of your life.

Then put me on the stand.

Then take your laptop into the bathroom.

Then that's what I will say.

Then you probably shouldn't be handling food

Then you're pushing all up on that fanny.

Then, of course, it's back to murdering wolves.

There are cookies for everyone who donates

There are no belly scratches here! There are no table scraps!

There are people

There are people out there who think I'm beautiful.

There are really no introductions.

There aren't even any cars around.

There hasn't been that kind of excitement on our street

There he goes again. He's being so standoffish.

There he is.

There must be, like, 20 of them!

There they are! All right, since you're a patient,

There used to be four candies.

There was nothing better than knocking on doors

There we go

There we go.

There we go.

There were no squeezable condiments.

There were three lies in that sentence.

There you are. I've been looking all over for you

There you go! You look stupider already.

There you go.

There you go.

There you go. Aw, Dick really likes you.

There, that one!

There, that's better

There, there's Tom

There! Jump onto that mooring rope.

There.

There.

There. Now I just have to get into the machine,

There. Now you're ready to sell cookies

There's "What do you think it means?" "Pray on it, stay on it."

There's a black tie event...

There's a certain amount of guesswork involved in this.

There's a lot to do, so we can't be afraid

There's an animated version of you and me doing it.

There's Brazil.

There's got to be a way out of this.

There's got to be someone else

There's Italy.

There's more!

There's my handsome business partner

There's my little sweetie.

There's no better teacher than your old dad.

There's no reason we can't be gentlemen about this.

There's no way I'm gonna pass Mr. Harpington's history test.

There's nobody who respects you more than I do.

There's one.

There's only one name that makes sense.

There's our answer.

There's something important I want to tell you

There's the star

There's too much candy!

There's too much passing gas in this house.

These are all of Quagmire's women organized by country.

These are good, Peter

These are made fresh every day.

These aren't drugstore glasses, they came from a doctor Halloween costume.

These got a little mixed up

These guys are gonna lose.

They always need new TSA screeners.

They are making fun of me behind my back.

They are previously claimed

They arrested a custodian 'cause of you.

They belong to some badass.

They come back to your house and sit on your... butt

They didn't have enough wings.

They didn't invent anything.

They don't like anything artistic.

They got his picture in a circle. How do they do that?

They got no way of accounting for those.

They just drink and smoke and laugh. I want to do that.

They love you.

They most certainly do not!

They need something to look at

They nurture them and protect them! You've never done a thing for me!

They thought I was a real estate agent.

They were always a ridiculous people.

They were pretty rough on my mime act.

They wouldn't put real pudding on a billboard, Peter.

They're all told to wear a pair of their dads' pants.

They're all watching Sugar

They're at the Barrington Hotel! Let's go, guys!

They're both pale imitations of my favorite beer, Bud Rock

They're even tastier than Connie Britton's hair

They're getting really large, and I'm not sure if I'm completely covering them.

They're gone.

They're gonna publish The Hopeful Squirrel

They're gonna think we're a bunch of old, bald geezers.

They're having trouble adapting.

They're just some stupid scribbles I've been working on

They're like a nasty wolf pack.

They're magnificent.

They're shooting T shirts into the crowd.

They're spectacular! You look like a movie star.

They've been raised with 11 languages, and really don't speak any.

Thhhhere.

Things move fast around here

Think of it as two ten year olds, you sick freak.

Thinking about putting black guy hair in a ponytail.

Third quarter projections indicate our sales

This ain't over. Larry is mine.

This ain't the first time

This bar is where famous American writers,

This beer tastes exactly like Duff

This blood's not for you!

This could be a chance for you to finally make things right.

This could be a sign that it's time to move on.

This crew pulling off a robbery?

This day has Haagen Dazs written all over it.

This doesn't look like the building

This feels incredibly wrong.

This guy's the best

This has to be the stupidest thing you've ever done

This is 'cause I'm drunk!

This is a nightmare.

This is a problem that requires more tweed.

This is a very busy doctor's office.

This is a very skeevy packing product.

This is all your fault. You never listen to anything I say.

This is an appropriate cartoon

This is awesome! This changes everything!

This is Bart

This is D Day.

This is day drinking Stewie.

This is for the best.

This is for your benefit, so just go limp and take it!

This is gonna be fun

This is gonna be so boss.

This is gross even for a bus!

This is idiotic.

This is Jesus we're talking about.

This is just the DVD menu.

This is Kimmie. I met her in a pop up window

This is kind of embarrassing,

This is like a full blown revolution!

This is Mistress Vita. We met on Craigslist.

This is my room, Dad.

This is not the Kenny Chesney concert.

This is not too... too...

This is Paris, 1920.

This is real life, mister, so man up!

This is real modeling.

This is serious, Rupert. I'm losing him.

This is the 1990s.

This is the entire 1990s?

This is the funniest guy I've ever met

This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

This is the opera. I'm hoping that re exposing you

This is the police station

This is the voice people use to do that.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone.

This is what fuels me!

This is your last warning. Give me back my wife.

This is your opportunity to do things differently.

This isn't because of my divorce.

This isn't even my problem, it's your problem.

This isn't fun for me, watching you text.

This isn't gonna work.

This just in... is what Peter had to say to his wife on their wedding night,

This largemouth bass!

This milk crate will be my chair, this overturned rain barrel will be my desk,

This morning's cartoon is even worse

This one says you're a "dirty kick."

This one's bones all feel loose.

This one's for tomorrow

This one's just pictures of people reacting to farts

This one's our new chocolate white chocolate,

This retreat is over!

This same speech a million times.

This ship, it's... it's unbelievable.

This sounds like a discussion to have

This space will be perfect, Peter

This thing is awesome.

This thing on?

This this "giving her all she's got" thing

This this is half of a chicken cutlet.

This trip's already off to a great start.

This wasn't on the manifest.

This whole endeavor was doomed to fail.

This whole trip has been a complete waste of time!

This will impregnate me with the child that will bring Brian and me back together!

This would make a great movie.

This.

This... seems more like a phone call.

This... whatever this is now

Those are the days I'm glad I have my saxophone

Those are water wings.

Those both sound like things for you

Those of you from Connecticut are calling me a grinder.

Those places are going very fast, though

Those two girls and...

Those waist high holes in the wall

Three Hail Marys.

Three new daddies for the dead astronauts' kids,

Three suits for 99 bucks?!

Three! Two! One!

Time for me to go.

Time to make marks on pieces of paper no one will ever see again.

Time to reward myself with a slow, relaxing yank.

Time to spin the Wheel of Porn.

To a private resort in the Bahamas.

To a woman in the shower.

To animate, so instead, here's some stock footage

To anything we've shown you!

To approve the Louisiana Purchase.

To be a clown from an Italian opera.

To be spending all your time with a homemade sex doll.

To be spending all your time with a homemade sex doll.

To bring you a Chanel 5 News special report

To change the cat litter. We don't have a cat.

To convert my heavily embellished Internet profile

To cure this? Um...

To Disney World and shot yourself in the room.

To eat... my... shorts

To experience a world beyond books,

To figure out how to tell you, and, um...

To get my book published in the first place.

To get out of my contract.

To get people to buy a damn cookie?

To get the taste out of my mouth? All right!

To give you something.

To go crazy about something small and stupid

To go to a local gym and ask men to pee in your hands.

To grab a bite to eat sometime, would you?

To help Jesus lose his virginity.

To help you pass your history test.

To help you start your business

To high culture will remind you of the joys of a refined mind.

To home!

To just roll up our sleeves and get the job done

To kill his girlfriend.

To let her know the news was ridiculous.

To let Jesus have relations with your wife.

To mask dark, maybe even criminal, activities.

To maybe take the SAT for me.

To meet a lot of chicks fast.

To meet Loretta at a McDonald's parking lot

To my mail? What?

To my wife Christmas before last

To Operation Smile.

To our Thanksgiving turkey?

To out flank them in the west.

To pick up my son, Cleveland, Jr.

To put another batch of oatmeal in the oven

To realize that life really is worth living.

To refrigerate something.

To release pent up time travel farts.

To rescind the purchase. State law

To run on Gloria Steinem's half birthday?

To run the phasers

To say giggity?

To scream and defecate

To spend time together until they had Susie.

To stop throwing rocks at my nest.

To take it for you.

To take the SAT for you in exchange for money.

To that cliff over there

To the Avengers.

To the car wash to raise money for our new soccer uniforms.

To the ladies by the pool,

To the policeman's ball?

To throw a punch at the guy.

To traditional counseling, the stress of extreme danger

To what Bonnie wants to do in the bedroom.

To what you said the other day, and I realized you're right.

To witness Glenn Quagmire's 1,000th sexual conquest

To write about a handicapped squirrel?

To you, I recommend... the donut

Today I'm giving a speech.

Today's feature presentation of Glory

Told you this defendant wasn't cool.

Tommy Bahama... five million uncles can't be wrong.

Tomorrow we're going to city hall to legally change your name back to "Peter."

Too bad eating ain't math,

Too bad, because your recently divorced mom

Too busy saving our family's Thanksgiving.

Too late! Pull over! It's starting to come out!

Too late. Oh, we should be gluten free together!

Too much candy!

Too much candy?

Tough but fair.

Traffic on 146 is backed up all the way to Mineral Spring Avenue..

Tragedy stuck Haiti today

Training Camp with the Toronto Argonauts.

Training Camp with the Toronto Argonauts.

Transform you into a complete moron?

Trust me, you get a few hotties

Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.

Trust me, you won't regret this.

Truth is, I was faking it as a therapist.

Try Jose Gato's Brazilian Steakhouse

Tuck it in your shirt.

Turns out not many people want to probably get shot for $24,000 a year.

TV ANNOUNCER: We now return to an '80s teen movie at a realistic high school.

TV ANNOUNCER: We now return to My Dinner with Andre the Giant.

TV ANNOUNCER: We now return to Rocky Dennis the Menace.

TV, that thing you used to watch

Two chair jokes in the same monologue. Sloppy.

Two of mine gotta sleep in the car.

Ugh, another puckered anus.

Ugh, can't believe somebody stole Stewie's trike.

Ugh, God knows what I'm gonna find in steerage.

Ugh, gross.

Ugh, have you guys seen the new Jessica Biel movie?

Ugh, I knew you weren't cool.

Ugh, I know, it's the worst.

Ugh, look at Cleveland over there.

Ugh, mall food courts are so depressing.

Ugh, there's nothing to cut these with.

Ugh, this is gonna be a bigger disaster than Y2 Gay.

Ugh, yeah, but don't talk to me about anything

Ugh! Why did you let me do this, Lois?! Why?!

Ugh.

Ugh. I didn't seem too desperate, right?

Ugh. Please don't fight me on this.

Ugh. That sounds lame.

Uh huh

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh oh

Uh oh.

Uh oh. That was the original.

Uh oh. Uh oh. I just rubbed my eye with this finger.

Uh uh, Lois

Uh uh, you could choke on that!

Uh, 'cause we're the two funniest guys in our towns?

Uh, 13? 14?

Uh, all types, I guess.

Uh, anyway, this is The Hopeful Squirrel

Uh, appreciating...

Uh, awkward

Uh, before I touch anything, is this a nut free counter?

Uh, C Captain, Scotty again

Uh, Chief, that excuse to leave you asked for is here

Uh, couple marbles, ball of yarn, two Wiffle ball bats.

Uh, dining at the captain's table.

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Uh, hang on, I'll check.

Uh, he was in, like, at least five Sex "in" the Citys.

Uh, hey

Uh, hey, not so fast!

Uh, how much milk do you drink?

Uh, I don't know. Four different bands said

Uh, I I...

Uh, I mean, I have ducks on my feet.

Uh, I think Peter's is better.

Uh, I woke up, Kemosabe?

Uh, I wouldn't. Butter helped me with it,

Uh, knock much?

Uh, let me think..

Uh, let's see, when is Hitler's birthday?

Uh, like, uh, hot ladies.

Uh, Mom! Daddy! You're right on time!

Uh, morning, sir.

Uh, Mr. Jordan, you're gonna have to take your seat

Uh, my husband and I would like to open a cookie store

Uh, my name isn't Peter. My name is Justin.

Uh, Quagmire, I don't think you can go to dinner

Uh, should I also put down "appointment"?

Uh, six fire hydrants, but they are unavailable

Uh, so I guess this is a thing now?

Uh, sure

Uh, that just happened.

Uh, that's a bad read, Pete.

Uh, that's not credible.

Uh, there's another lever here, too

Uh, uh, excuse me?

Uh, uh, o okay, c can you wait a second while I put a towel down?

Uh, uh, oh. Oh, I think I..

Uh, uh, people reacting to watching gross stuff.

Uh, well, I can see my work here is done.

Uh, well, last night, Brian and I

Uh, what did that baby just say?

Uh, what?

Uh, what?

Uh, what's that bowl that says "good boy"?

Uh, y you can't? The button broke off?

Uh, yeah, but it's got one

Uh, yeah, I'm looking for a friend,

Uh, yeah, it's a great neighborhood

Uh, yeah, no

Uh, yeah, sure. But, you know, I don't work here.

Uh, yeah, yeah

Uh, yeah.

Uh, yes, I'd like a chocolate chip cookie.

Uh, yes.

Uh...

Uh... about 24 years.

Uh... Captain, this uh..

Uh... he has dark hair...

Uh... Sir, you're under oath.

Uh... when a mommy and daddy love each other?

Uh... yeah, sure

Uh... yes!

Uhp, let me just close a couple of these windows.

Um, Cassandra, I'm sorry your life was so screwed up

Um, first, I've been summoned to be a potential juror,

Um, Gus is Terry's friend.

Um, her dumper?

Um, I don't know

Um, I guess so. I've been pretty depressed since my wife died.

Um, I would try to be fair, but, uh, I am on record,

Um, I'm maybe gonna go use the restroom

Um, oh, good.

Um, okay.

Um, okay.

Um, she doesn't think it's healthy for you

Um, what if one of us were to turn this big ship

Um... Get back there

Unbelievable! Brian throws up once, and you rush him to the vet.

Unbelievable.

Uncomfortably Hot Eighteen Year Old Girls.

Under that tree where nobody knows quite where it is.

Underpriced waterfront property

Unless Slender Man commands me to say something else.

Unless we hitchhike.

Until I've had my morning coffee, 'cause it's like I can't even deal.

Until we get home. We got to record this.

Up next on Nickelodeon,

Up on the right are the people with the awesome trampoline,

Using beloved British comic strip roustabout Andy Capp

Vegetable, meat, meat, vegetable, meat

Very good macaroni and cheese, Mrs. Sullivan.

Very self conscious about how he looks,

Vital? Crucial?

Volunteering in your class, Stewie.

Vowel sound!

Vroom! Everyone on this plane is wearing a suit.

W Wait, wait, don't leave!

W Wait, what? Yeah, the doctor said I got to give you these pills the butt way.

W Wait, what? Yeah, the doctor said I got to give you these pills the butt way.

W Wait... Brian, wait!

W We don't have enough dilithium crystals

Wah! Wah! Wah!

Wait a minute

Wait a minute yesterday, near the north beach,

Wait a minute, that's both her hands!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I didn't order this brick

Wait a minute. This gumball machine takes quarters, not dimes.

Wait a minute. You're right! He bit me!

Wait a minute... Joe and Bonnie never used

Wait a second.

Wait, "Harpington"?

Wait, aren't you supposed to be looking for our car?

Wait, Ben... are they all of my feet?

Wait, how about top and bottom, or front and back?

Wait, how can a music festival chick like two guys?

Wait, i is that the same Number Six that had sex with Dr. Baltar?

Wait, Larry! I was framed! I bet it was Marla!

Wait, Neil, I thought you and I were gonna go find unlocked cars

Wait, Neil, I thought you and I were gonna go find unlocked cars

Wait, so what happened?

Wait, this this game is cleaning up toys?

Wait, wait, hold on.

Wait, wait, Quagmire, hold up. I got a great knock.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, we got to remember the other one. What was it, Joe?

Wait, what are you talking about? The whole point of what?

Wait, what?

Wait, what's that note pinned to your backpack?

Wait, where is there a bathroom on this bus?

Wait, you mean Comedy Central didn't invent those? No.

Wait, you've been upstairs the whole time?

Wait. No further questions?

Wait. What? What are you talking about?

Wait..

Wait... what?! You you drive a school bus?

Wait... what?! You you drive a school bus?

Wake up, Griffin.

Wakey, wakey.

Want to go pretend we're in London?

Want to grab a drink, maybe dinner?

Wanting to help in these situations,

Wants precious rope

Was a lifesaver last night

Was couples only, but great news.

Was Junior Gorg from Fraggle Rock.

Was just to kill yourself?

Was none of you couples

Was someone wearing my new high heels?

Was struck by a drunk driver last night.

Was that a sex joke?

Was that good?

Was turn the bubbles off in a hot tub.

Wasn't being a pediatric oncologist enough for him?!

Wassup, my sistas?

Way after everybody's already seen them.

Way ahead of ya.

Way ahead of you, Lois. I just cut her brakes.

Way to go, Dad.

We all drove past it on the way here.

We all know how it's going to end!

We also use his cable TV.

We are going to be spending a fortune on schools.

We are three noblewomen in distress...

We are!

We best get you to bed, sir.

We both own cars, but we like to take the bus.

We break into the zoo, steal a turkey,

We brought some hummus

We brought some wine, but it's good wine so it's just or us

We bumped you right up to the top of the donor list.

We can begin to build a bond as mother and son.

We can do this

We can either play "Freeze Frame"

We can schedule surgery to remove it,

We can use it to pull ourselves up.

We can use the bathroom and stretch our legs

We can't arrest him. If anything, they can arrest you.

We can't arrest him. If anything, they can arrest you.

We can't be hands off managers.

We can't have a baby, Stewie!

We can't help you. You go home and tell your mother

We could also use our troop advantage

We could be that kind of family. What do you think?

We could be there in three hours.

We could even use my old crib.

We could go out for a run and then eat

We could never stay mad at you.

We could probably just stand.

We could roll your money over

We could turn to channel 875 and watch Conan.

We could use a good chuckle like that.

We did it, Grandpa.

We didn't come back with a turkey,

We didn't land on Plymouth Rock!

We do not judge the machine. We do not judge Stewie.

We do not.

We do stuff together. Just last night,

We do things together.

We don't have a Bloomin' Onion, we have a Bloomin' Pumpkin!

We don't have to make it easy for them!

We even got Sean Penn to dress up as my dad

We figured you might know where it is.

We find the defendant guilty of murder.

We found a great group rate on a discount Web site.

We getting on into the chappy season.

We got a Hopeful Squirrel book to write

We got a more important mission now.

We got boat parts on the wall,

We got ourselves a turkey, right?

We got ourselves a turkey.

We got plenty of time

We got to carry him, 'cause he can't fly on his own

We got to do something to help

We got to find out where that party is

We got to roll up our sleeves and just dig in

We got to stop her! What the hell?

We got to think like a car

We had to trick you guys or you wouldn't have come.

We had trouble hearing you in the back

We have a real serious problem with people getting ****d

We have a special beach barbecue planned for you tonight,

We have a tranq gun if he gets rough.

We have something to say to you

We have to decide who gets to ride in the cart

We have to hear all about how you can beat up Liam Neeson.

We have to somehow get to dry land.

We haven't been able to unload it in two years.

We haven't even talked about the most important thing

We interrupt this program

We Irish, we have a deep sadness.

We just found out, too! The whole thing was staged.

We just got to be more creative about getting Jesus laid

We just got to get you on that set, so you can kick his ass.

We just got to think outside the box,

We just have to find out what it is

We just sold our last turkey to that guy.

We laughed about that, too.

We let that other guy try, and look what happened

We lost a court case

We love you, and we would never let

We love you, sweetheart.

We made all that today?

We now return to another

We now return to D.J. Butcher: Deejay Butcher.

We now return to Hard Knocks CFL:

We now return to Hotel TV,

We now return to Major League Baseball

We now return to Malcolm XXY.

We now return to Police Chases...

We now return to Top Chef: Looney Tunes Edition.

We now return to yet another Indiana Jones movie.

We ought to make a viral video.

We really want to thank you, God, for testing us.

We saw a movie in the afternoon!

We shall stand our ground and fight them to the death!

We should be leaving any moment.

We should get out of town till this all blows over.

We should meet the rebels head on in Virginia.

We should probably exchange numbers

We should visit here again

We should've just gotten Jimmy Fallon to do any lame thing.

We showed them. We showed them all!

We stopped being a team

We told you to take a dive in the third round,

We use him just the right amount.

We used to be so close, but now we seem so different.

We want to know what's going on.

We we thought it was him, but it was just the oven!

We we we was just playin' with ya!

We went to summer camp together

We were just debating if Jamie should hook up

We were never not friends, you idiot.

We will. Come on, girls, let's go wear big floppy sun hats

We won't have to because we won't be drinking.

We, sir, are Italian children.

We'd become slaves to our electronics.

We'd love to have you in our group of girlfriends.

We'll get you the facts on this bizarre story.

We'll have to get him little sunglasses.

We'll just go back in time to before Chris ran off.

We'll raise your bail money as soon as we can!

We'll throw a car wash free for stolen cars!

We're all going to Montreal for the week.

We're all gonna yell "cock a doodle doo!"

We're all rooting for ya.

We're doing a masturbation intervention

We're getting a lot of compliments

We're getting Oklahoma, Arkansas, Nebraska, Kansas,

We're getting on this boat.

We're going in this direction.

We're going to be home in no time.

We're going to drown on the Titanic.

We're going to have a baby!

We're going to have a moment of silence in remembrance...

We're gonna be a great team

We're gonna go pee in Meg's bed.

We're gonna go smoke something called "croak."

We're gonna have to party in the bathroom.

We're gonna party like it's the Roaring Twenties.

We're gonna take you on a special dream trip

We're gonna talk about you like you're not here.

We're gonna tell Donna you slept with that stripper at your bachelor party.

We're here to find the police, report our stolen car

We're here to have a nice civilized dinner and to show you

We're just cocooning today because Heather said she's never seen TV.

We're looking for Brian Griffin.

We're never gonna make it home on foot.

We're not gonna stay in business very long.

We're now a couple.

We're now arriving in Quahog.

We're obviously not weirdoes!

We're protecting our little girl

We're ready now.

We're reclaiming our lives.

We're screwed

We're so close, I can almost taste his ass.

We're stuck here, Peter!

We're taking this island back.

We're talking to Peter Griffin,

We're the couple who lives a few blocks away.

We're the Griffins

We're the Khaleesi and Jorah Mormont of this school.

We're this close to Bone City.

We're this close to Bone City.

We're trying to get back to Quahog.

We've been a great crowd, so you tell me.

We've been to every grocery store in town with no luck

We've both lost children.

We've done all the research,

We've gone around six times. Let's just talk to her.

We've got "Opera Penguin."

We've got all the awesome evidence we need.

We've got the place completely surrounded!

We've got to stick together.

We've kind of been talking trash about you and laughing behind your back.

We've looked everywhere. Where the hell could he be?

We've prepared a song for you.

Wear his skin, kiss some of the wolves, then kill them.

Wearing nothing but a sports coat and a shoe.

Welcome back, buddy.

Welcome back.

Welcome home.

Welcome to another edition of Cross Legged Chat.

Welcome to Krusty Burger

Welcome to the roast of Peter Griffin,

Welcome to Tommy Bahama.

Welcome, everyone.

Well played, me, through you.

Well taught, Jesus. Well taught.

Well, "pal" is right there in the name, Peter.

Well, 1,000 sexual conquests.

Well, actually, I could use a drink.

Well, actually, I'm writing it under a pen name...

Well, as the victim's mother, I ask that you go to hell!

Well, at least I ain't going out with a itchy back.

Well, back to my book.

Well, back when I was your age,

Well, Brian, if if you're happy this way...

Well, Brian, thanks for going

Well, buddy, I guess this is it.

Well, certainly not a runway model.

Well, come on in, Brian. Let's see them

Well, come on in.

Well, do ya, punk?

Well, don't you want to have music?

Well, enjoy your... six donuts

Well, except for that mosquito who keeps trying to sneak in.

Well, except for the books they sell at Urban Outfitters

Well, except one thing.

Well, fine, then I'll just throw rocks at the hornets.

Well, fine. Let's prove it.

Well, first off, Peter's always been special.

Well, for the next 72 hours,

Well, good for you, Peter,

Well, good news, fatass, 'cause now there's the Outback Steakhouse Extreme!

Well, guess what,

Well, h how'd you guys get on the set?

Well, hang in there, Joe, we'll get some help.

Well, he just lets me order him around,

Well, he wasn't by the sno cones!

Well, he's at camp all week

Well, he's got a good chin. I don't know about handsome.

Well, he's my brother.

Well, hello, young man.

Well, here's my room

Well, Homer, thanks for helping me get my car back

Well, how come you didn't just write it under Joe...

Well, how else are you gonna know I'm in a box?!

Well, I already ate two wedding cakes,

Well, I am carrying more than three ounces of liquid.

Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation.

Well, I can't tell you that.

Well, I don't just shoot school events.

Well, I don't know if I'd label myself a drinker.

Well, I don't know if that's quite true

Well, I felt kind of bad about how we left things.

Well, I got a better rope.

Well, I got a plan for that.

Well, I got to hand it to you, Quagmire.

Well, I got to try something. Peter and I used to be so close.

Well, I got to try something. Peter and I used to be so close.

Well, I guess business is better than ever

Well, I guess I have to do it by myself.

Well, I guess it is kind of an honor

Well, I guess this ain't the first time

Well, I guess you got me there.

Well, I guess you got me there.

Well, I hope so. Because I've tried everything

Well, I say we get that tumor out of him right away

Well, I suppose you may look at it that way.

Well, I talked to the bank, and they agreed to take it back

Well, I think I speak for all of us when I say

Well, I was doing the dishes for a while,

Well, I was only moody because you were so distant!

Well, I was thinking Niagara Falls.

Well, I... I don't know

Well, I'll tell you this, she's got to be

Well, I'll try anything, Quagmire,

Well, I'm doing security at the roller rink

Well, I'm glad you did. These cookies are amazing

Well, I'm not really permitted to say

Well, I'm not thrilled, but I understand what it's like to be friends with women.

Well, I'm smaller, so..

Well, if I'm so stupid,

Well, if they're expecting a turkey,

Well, if you're in that much pain, I I guess.

Well, if you're in that much pain, I I guess.

Well, in high school, my best friend was this hot prostitute,

Well, in retrospect, she did ask a lot of questions about To Kill a Mockingbird.

Well, it says here Brian's tumor is for office use only.

Well, it seems like we got a bit of a crime spree.

Well, it seems like we're pretty talked out.

Well, it seems like you made the right choice, Joe.

Well, it takes two people to break a record.

Well, it was fun having our own store.

Well, it was twice as much,

Well, it's called The Hopeful Squirrel

Well, it's only natural, Chris. You and I are social exiles.

Well, it's when you urinate in a condom, and tie it off, freeze it,

Well, just 'cause she's out doesn't mean the party's over.

Well, just do whatever you can.

Well, just Star Wars. But I missed you, sweetheart!

Well, keeping in mind the recent behavioral changes

Well, kids, it's Dyngus Day.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, now that we've had our fun,

Well, let me tell you something, comedy dog.

Well, let's get you cleaned up. And you know what?

Well, let's just say some new DNA evidence was produced.

Well, Lois, I'm done giving blood

Well, Lois, I'm sure glad

Well, looks like one ship was saved today...

Well, looks like we're having turkey after all.

Well, maybe Duff should be in trouble for,

Well, maybe he doesn't have to.

Well, maybe if you did, I wouldn't have to!

Well, maybe it's still got a nice ocean view.

Well, maybe you should look at the part of me where there's a baby coming out!

Well, Meg, the thing is... my name's Evan, by the way...

Well, nice knowing you, Stewie

Well, no luck getting Jesus laid yet.

Well, none of these is my car,

Well, not for nothing, but you could've taken us all

Well, not that it's any of your business, Meg,

Well, now, now, hold on a minute...

Well, now, now, hold on a minute...

Well, now, now, now, hold on a minute...

Well, obviously Peter's not here.

Well, of course I respect my father. He's a vet.

Well, one in ten does.

Well, Peter would be happy to support you.

Well, Peter, I'm glad you made up with Joe

Well, Peter, you might be underestimating the difficulty

Well, Peter, you're always welcome to hang out with me.

Well, Peter... What?

Well, Peter's been doing his best,

Well, porn actress.

Well, remember how Cleveland banged that stripper at his bachelor party?

Well, right now, he has a D minus average.

Well, say, this is pretty neat.

Well, sex is overrated.

Well, she must like ground glass,

Well, since Brian's tumor poses no immediate threat,

Well, slow down, Brian.

Well, thank you. Yes, it is my liver, and I don't want to take that pill.

Well, that and this.

Well, that is the last time I drink and masturbate on top of a high wall.

Well, that seems like a note for this morning.

Well, that was a stupid idea.

Well, that was kind of a weird trip, but I'm glad we went.

Well, that's a lot of my money,

Well, that's the important thing.

Well, that's the other thing, Bonnie.

Well, that's very disappointing.

Well, that's very helpful.

Well, that's where you're wrong, Brian.

Well, the fat man's never going to get back in time,

Well, the Pawtucket Brewery will be shut down,

Well, then you better move quick... he's reloading!

Well, there's a sign

Well, there's no time like the present.

Well, there's not much we can do about it.

Well, they better get here soon.

Well, they centralized it, that we know.

Well, think about it

Well, this has just been one heck of a fun day.

Well, this is all crashes.

Well, this slut is having your baby!

Well, this Springfield place seems nice

Well, this time, I'm really gonna do it

Well, time to break out my terrible ******* bag lunch.

Well, time to put on my spaghetti hat!

Well, Tonto, the bad guys are going to jail.

Well, we do have these pills that may correct

Well, we gave it our best shot, Stewie.

Well, we got a procedure

Well, we got this crap condo down by the marina.

Well, we got those bitches good, huh, Peter?

Well, we got to do something.

Well, we know he's circumcised,

Well, we know where Liam Neeson is.

Well, we're detectives solving children's crimes.

Well, we've looked all over London.

Well, well, well.

Well, what about funny news? Did they invent that?

Well, what can I say about the man of the hour, Peter Griffin?

Well, what do you mean?

Well, what do you say we have some lunch?

Well, what should we do today?

Well, whatever comes out, save it. I want to eat it.

Well, whatever you think is best for the book.

Well, while you freshen up, maybe I could help you get a head start on that homework.

Well, why don't you go talk to her?

Well, you can't do Niagara Falls without riding the Maid of the Mist.

Well, you can't have it; it's mine

Well, you do have a son that you were never there for.

Well, you have Mickey Mantle's disease.

Well, you know what? Sounds like you need some counseling.

Well, you know, you ought to do something with this

Well, you make a good point.

Well, you may not be a cartoonist anymore,

Well, you might surprise yourself.

Well, you put the wet clothes in the dryer,

Well, you were acting weird, so we followed you.

Well, you would write the books, and your friend, Peter,

Well, you're easy to talk to.

Well, you're in trouble now, lad.

Well, you're never gonna sell any looking like that

Well, you've been so distant lately.

Well, you've never gotten an award.

Were you at least safe?

Wh What are you saying?

Wh What is "this"?

Wh What the hell? Did I just say that?

Wh What's that?

Wh..

Wh... H Hang on. What's second base?

Wh... H Hang on. What's second base?

Wha... What have you done?

Wha... What the hell?

Wha... Who?

What a bunch of pros.

What about him?

What about Secret Santa?

What about that time we snuck beers into the opera?

What about the White Water Walk?

What about your hot mom, Meg?

What am I gonna do?

What an idiot! He actually believed me!

What are the chances all those states suck?

What are the specs?

What are we gonna do?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? You can't let him keep thinking that doll is real.

What are you doing? You can't let him keep thinking that doll is real.

What are you gonna buy with that $50?

What are you looking at?

What are you looking at?

What are you still doing here?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? I'm a cop.

What are you talking about? I'm six two.

What are you talking about? You can't weigh the ocean.

What are you talking about? You want to have a roast?

What are you thinkin' about?

What are you, a cop?

What book?

What could you possibly do for me?

What did you say is going on

What did you wish for?

What do you have to say about that, Griffin?

What do you mean, too much candy?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What do you think I keep in this backpack?

What do you want, Neil?

What does it matter when I do it?

What does that mean?

What does that sign say?

What does your girlfriend think of this?

What have you done to my marriage?!

What have you guys been up to?

What have you guys been up to?

What I want for breakfast tomorrow. Can you make me a sample tray?

What if Bono had been afraid to wear sunglasses?

What if I switched that?

What if the squirrel has lasers...

What is a penguin? Is it some kind of bug?

What is he... what?

What is his name? What is his name?

What is it, Bri..

What is that? I smell pee.

What is that? There you are.

What is this?

What is this..

What is wrong with me today?

What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!

What kind of person would want to buy that?

What lesson?

What matters is we're all together.

What other ideas you got?

What room is Jesus in?

What room is Lenny Kravitz in?

What should I do, Dad?

What should we do? Oh, I got a few ideas.

What that girl's name is,

What the hell are you doing?

What the hell are you doing?

What the hell are you doing?

What the hell are you doing?

What the hell do you think you're doing?

What the hell is happening?!

What the hell is your problem?!

What the hell, Lois? Why don't I have a real checkbook?

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell? Again?

What the hell? Are you drunk?

What the hell? Peter, can I speak with you for a second?

What the hell? Th That was crazy!

What the hell? This is a dump.

What the hell? Why are you talking like that?

What the hell?!

What the hell?! If anyone should be her helper, it should be me.

What the hell?! Knock it off!

What the hell?! You said you were 23!

What time is it?

What was I thinking?

What was that all about?

What was that?

What we have here are good dogs!

What what just happened?

What what was that?

What would you guys think of a road trip?

What you talkin' 'bout, Phyllis?!

What, are they gonna come here?

What, are you kidding? He doesn't do anything

What, because of a joke?

What, do you think you're better than me?!

What, Mom? You promised I could get a cookie

What, so you can make fun of me?

What, you mean like they do on TV?

What, you think you're better than me?!

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Aw, I love that movie

What? But that would be wrong.

What? Excuse me?

What? Gosh, it's not like the Internet

What? He's a fake tough guy. I could totally kick his ass.

What? I don't know.

What? I don't understand

What? I don't want you here. This is my turf.

What? I know, right?! It's pretty galling.

What? I said how about your dog? He's smart.

What? I was only distant because you've been so moody lately.

What? No, it isn't.

What? No! Wha what?! I just found out my cat died!

What? No! What are you talking about?

What? Nobody here in Maryland understands a single word you're saying.

What? Put this man down for a pair of lesbian shoes.

What? Seriously, Peter, how do you live with her?

What? She didn't read the book, Bri.

What? So... you're not mad?

What? Then what am I supposed to do?

What? We can't just leave her.

What? We'd love to, sounds great!

What? Well, that hurts, Meg. You know, you can be very hurtful.

What? What are you talking about?

What? What are you talking about?

What? What are you talking about?

What? What do you mean?

What? What does that even mean?

What? What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be my friend.

What? What's so funny?

What? What's so funny?

What? Where are you going? Stop doing that!

What? Who who's there?

What? You can't just shove Shaft in the Glory hole

What? You serious? So it is a bug?

What? You want to tip over some cows?

What?!

What?!

What?!

What?! Damn it,

What?! Don't you think that's a little dangerous?

What?! He was in on it?

What?! I am outraged!

What?! I love women

What?! I'm leaving you.

What?! Look, I know it sounds terrible.

What?! My book is on Amazon?!

What?! No! I I I meant, take care of her, like, look after her!

What?! Oh, my God.

What?! So that million dollar check you gave me yesterday is no good?

What?! What?!

What?! Yeah!

What..

What're you gonna do with all your money?

What're you talking about, Brian?

What's doing all the slapping.

What's for dinner? I'm starving

What's going on with your eyes?

What's gonna fill the Glory hole?

What's he doing out there?!

What's it about?

What's it like going through life with a scrotum so close to your mouth?

What's on his arms?

What's that movie called? Dick?

What's that over there?

What's that thing he's on?

What's that, Lassie? You feel sick?

What's that?

What's that? I don't know

What's the date today?

What's the matter, Lois? Need to get in the mood?

What's the matter, Lois? Need to get in the mood?

What's the one surefire way to find a lost car?

What's the question?

What's the specialty of the house?

What's this?

What's wrong with wool?

What's wrong, girl?

Whatever it may be, not shying away from the dirty work,

Whatever it takes for you to not beat me up.

Whatever the hell you did,

Whatever, I like likin' things.

When are we gonna see this chick?

When he gets an erection.

When he leaned out the window and ordered a "fur burger."

When he went into the green room from the yellow room.

When I am riding my futuristic machine.

When I saw all those cars out front

When I say, I am over the Simpsons!

When I'm trying to inspire them

When people go to the supermarket,

When someone moves in on your territory.

When their...

When you do make fun of me, it'll hurt more.

When you framed me for eating that turkey with you.

When you thought you were a pointer dog?

When you're not at a hotel.

Whenever I feel any pain or loneliness,

Where a baseball player can't steal second,

Where are they?

Where are we?!

Where are you from? Israel.

Where do our Hollywood farts go?

Where do you get off?!

Where in the hell did you get the idea that

Where is the Eiffel Tower?

Where is the room where I can roll around nude with my money?

Where is your daughter? Show her to us!

Where the hell is he?

Where they'll be pouring till 2:00 a.m

Where they're pouring till 2:00 a.m

Where Timmy has to give her a suppository

Where we going?

Where you roll it up in a piece of cheese

Where you're going.

Where'd he go?

Where's Bart?

Where's the radio?

Whew

Whew. I was damn near out of tweed.

Which has caused outrage with a misogynistic comic

Which is hugging someone really hard with your legs.

Which means that Chris' history teacher was never born.

Which means there's a father of three in Nebraska

Which means they're going to search her anus.

Which means whatever you've got in there is 100% brain damaged.

Which one does the sound?

Which one is Santa's Little Helper?

Which was about the classiest, sexiest thing I'd ever seen.

Which will allow me to unleash my fury..

Which will offer us a good cost analysis comparison

Which would you prefer?

Who am I?

Who are these two idiots?

Who are too young and thin to ever be interested in me.

Who are you to judge me?

Who are you?

Who can do a squirrel voice

Who can..

Who cares? Now, come on,

Who could not climb trees to get food

Who did he buy the necklace for?

Who found the Fountain of Youth.

Who got on those lifeboats were women of noble birth.

Who got on those lifeboats were women of noble birth.

Who has to learn to overcome his disabilities

Who just started an hour ago, and I know 'em

Who lets l little boys grind on his rump

Who now has a very little chance

Who put that on there?

Who said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself"?

Who the hell is taking the pictures?!

Who wants a taste of corn dog.

Who wants to look like a rich fat person?

Who was trying to be my friend

Who whose hole is it?

Who?

Who'd be willing to take that test for you.

Who'd think that idiot would still be walking around

Who's a pilot you hate?

Who's asking?

Who's ever called me out on my crap

Who's Gus?

Who's hungry?

Who's not famous.

Who's ready for some old timey fun?

Who's Terry?

Who's this puss?

Who's this Stewie, huh? Yeah.

Who's winning?

Whoa

Whoa

Whoa

Whoa, buddy!

Whoa, sorry, ma'am, we can't let you through security because you're "da bomb."

Whoa, Stewie. Yeah! Yeah, "whoa."

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait

Whoa, yeah, wow

Whoa!

Whoa! Boppo!

Whoa! Hell yeah!

Whoa! Schwing!

Whoa! You got an air hockey table?

Whoa...

Whoo hoo!

Whoo hoo! Yeah heh heh!

Whose names are cookie related

Whose real name was Samuel Clemens

Whose wedding is this? It's hilarious.

Why am I on trial?! He's the one that mushed hisself on a child!

Why are you being such a jerk?

Why are you doing this? Let us go!

Why are you so obsessed with circumcision?

Why are you telling us that?

Why are you, of all people, defending a religious nut?

Why Brian's been acting so odd lately?

Why can't anyone get me a picture of the Spider Man?!

Why did he have to go around telling strangers what to do?

Why did Heather leave me?!

Why did I ever think you were smart?

Why did you do that?

Why do they even have water if you're not supposed to hit it there?

Why do we have to spend every holiday with your family?

Why do you have a purse?

Why do you have rouge?

Why do you think we've been saving

Why do you think? I'm worthless.

Why don't ballplayers wear giant woolen shirts anymore?

Why don't we go through the profit loss statement

Why don't we just say no gifts?

Why don't we show our visitors how we sing what we see, y'all?

Why don't you come over to my place for a beer or something?

Why don't you come with me? I I've got something to show you.

Why don't you give it a shot?

Why don't you have some food?

Why don't you spin another tale, crap tooth?

Why don't your shelves have any trophies on 'em?

Why not?

Why not? Why am I always apologizing

Why not? You're gonna make me say it?

Why the hell would you do something stupid like that?

Why we all got pudding on the brain?

Why would you even do this? I thought you'd be happy.

Why would you try to kill yourself?

Why, I just figured, at home I sit with the family,

Why, you..

Why?

Why? What's wrong with our marriage?

Why?!

Will be down 40%

Will demand a higher level of conversation.

Will he be all right?

Will I get two? Come get in on this.

Will not be seen

Will Stewie stop being jealous of his mom or something?

Wink, wink.

Winning!

Wipe... swipe... Uh oh.

With a detached, ironic approach

With a gentle massage of the area and see how you feel?

With a paper clip and rouge in their purse.

With a pile of garbage between us

With all your friends here?

With God's guidance, can rehabilitate him.

With his tallywhacker behind the snack shack.

With my smooth talki... ta...

With my time machine.

With one distractingly ugly guy behind home plate.

With other people in this group.

With our feet up in the air?

With radioactive powers,

With rooftop views, plus a fine selection

With somebody's name on it, don't eat it, scumbag!

With that bitch in the Lexus, you wouldn't want me to.

With the most dangerous thing in the world for a toddler:

With the popular balloons we all know and love..

With the Quahog Baptist Choir.

With the white linen pants, could it?

With the whole chicken stuck on his head.

With this guy she met a few nights ago.

With this whole Lois and Jesus thing!

With your more compatible match.

With your name on it?

With your roast master Glenn Quagmire.

Within a 60 mile radius of Quahog is sold out

Without first meeting number one.

Without looking at your phone.

Without making it look like he's cleaning his feet in the pool.

Without underwear on?

Wives, huh? He gets it.

Women?

Woof!

Worst chicken fight ever

Would be the public face of The Hopeful Squirrel

Would be to hide a bunch of dongs in the backgrounds,

Would share with the Hopeful Squirrel

Would you happen to be a drinker?

Would you have any problem convicting a kraken?

Would you like to hear our specials?

Would you like to join us for dinner?

Would... is... would be if this tub was filled with "yawgurt."

Wouldn't help you.

Wow

Wow, Brian, you sure have been doing a lot of jogging lately

Wow, Brian, you're doing great here

Wow, Chris, you, uh...

Wow, Cleveland.

Wow, ensnared by my own verbal trap

Wow, I can't believe this worked.

Wow, I didn't know Landon had a younger sister.

Wow, I I...

Wow, I never noticed that! "Justin Griffin."

Wow, I've never drank so much milk in my life.

Wow, it really inks in here.

Wow, it sure is fun going on a picnic, isn't it, Peter?

Wow, Lois, you really got a great turnout

Wow, look at that! This must be how

Wow, look at the new girl! She's so hot!

Wow, me being a model!

Wow, Mom. You look beautiful.

Wow, people really seem to hate everything we put on here.

Wow, Quagfest is a bigger deal than I thought.

Wow, Quagmire's mom is a Jesus freak.

Wow, so I guess that's it for you

Wow, thanks, Lois.

Wow, that was great

Wow, that wasn't so bad

Wow, the Bahamas.

Wow, they're young. We should go.

Wow, they've made a lot of changes to Quahog!

Wow, this is amazing.

Wow, this is great, isn't it, Brian?

Wow, this is the craziest meal I've had

Wow, what an adventure!

Wow, where did that come from?

Wow, word gets around fast

Wow, you know, I know I just met you guys,

Wow, you work at a nuclear power plant?

Wow, your plans sound very sweet and romantic, Chris

Wow! For real?!

Wow! What's beer really like?

Wow! You did that with your face!

Wow.

Wow. 20 years on the force, and no one's ever clapped for me.

Wow. Ah, hey, listen, man...

Wow. Glad you're back.

Wow. I can't remember the last time Joe shot his gun.

Wow. I guess you're right.

Wow. I'm gonna have to write to somebody about this.

Wow. Maybe you're right.

Wow. Okay, Noel. Yikes.

Wow. That's... that's amazing.

Wow. Well, that really means a lot to me, Peter

Wow. You know, when you see it up close, it really is incredible.

Write frosting swears on her jugs

Write something bad.

Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota and Louisiana.

Y Yeah, f fast forward ahead.

Y Yeah, f fast forward ahead.

Y Yeah. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Y You have anything for that?

Y You know, you're eating mostly horse hooves

Y... You're not gonna believe this

Yawgurt

Yay!

Yay!

Yay! A crossover always brings out the best in each show!

Yay! I win couples counseling!

Yay! My backpack.

Yay! No consequences!

Yay! Old fashioned things are the best!

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah, all right, we'll be there

Yeah, all right, well, with no contribution,

Yeah, and a nice day for bringing thieves to justice

Yeah, and also the friendly warning about theater shootings.

Yeah, and more importantly,

Yeah, and then I realized I'm not good at making fettuccine Alfredo,

Yeah, and you said you loved me

Yeah, are you sure you can finish a marathon?

Yeah, Australia's a beautiful place.

Yeah, Brian, you are gonna get so much sweet tail!

Yeah, but before all the crazy stuff.

Yeah, but can we just talk for a second

Yeah, but how come Babs couldn't come?

Yeah, but I thought they'd stick to material

Yeah, but I'm talking about the kind of friend

Yeah, but right above that is, like, a big guy eating pudding.

Yeah, but some folks prefer Pawtucket Pat

Yeah, but what time is it?

Yeah, but you're the only one who almost

Yeah, can you hear it? Flying through the air.

Yeah, cool, I got that blanket from your trunk

Yeah, dogs eat in the kitchen

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, every time you get a couple of beers in you,

Yeah, except I got molested in the House of Mirrors

Yeah, for, like, a second!

Yeah, get in there.

Yeah, good luck, man.

Yeah, he loves them little cars.

Yeah, he's gonna fail that test tomorrow.

Yeah, he's lucky we've never met.

Yeah, he's not handsome, but I will say this, he keeps a good lawn.

Yeah, her breasts and her stomach are different parts of her body!

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, I can't wait to puke up a club sandwich in the pool.

Yeah, I don't have any cash, but we'll figure it out.

Yeah, I found one of my grandmother's old recipes,

Yeah, I got a job for you riding on something

Yeah, I got a whole subreddit of superhero thong shots

Yeah, I got an idea about that.

Yeah, I guess

Yeah, I guess I did.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, I guess. Who cares?

Yeah, I know

Yeah, I know it's nothing fancy,

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I like to pretend it's mine down there

Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they'll be adopted.

Yeah, I need to find something a cartoon apple would wear.

Yeah, I think Dad's actually kind of excited about it.

Yeah, I think you better change.

Yeah, I thought you were doing your modeling thing.

Yeah, I tried to jump over a parking meter

Yeah, I was hopin' to inflict violence upon him.

Yeah, I worked at the Kwik E Mart, researching a role

Yeah, I'd like that, Chris.

Yeah, I'll tell you if you get it. Okay, I'm gonna get it.

Yeah, I'll tell you who might want a heads up: Liam Neeson.

Yeah, I'm closing down the whole street.

Yeah, I'm fine. It just seems kind of...

Yeah, I'm gonna hit the pool soon, myself.

Yeah, I'm gonna need to see those forms.

Yeah, I'm great at throwing parties.

Yeah, I'm not doing that. You have to.

Yeah, I'm sorry, if I take your baby,

Yeah, I've had a pretty good day, too.

Yeah, I've never been one to hold grudges.

Yeah, it is, isn't it?

Yeah, it sure will, Lois

Yeah, it was a lot tougher than I thought

Yeah, it was actually a pretty simple procedure.

Yeah, it was supposed to be fun, but it was humiliating.

Yeah, it'll be awesome to nail a hotel masseuse

Yeah, it'll be fun.

Yeah, it's awesome.

Yeah, it's fine if you think it's fine

Yeah, it's like the Macy's parade,

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Yeah, it's really great, isn't it, guys?

Yeah, Jesus did the same thing

Yeah, just waiting for a big gust of wind, right?

Yeah, let's do everything. Great!

Yeah, let's get out of here.

Yeah, Lois, listen to the man

Yeah, me, too

Yeah, Minetti's got a hot new look.

Yeah, my endorphins always kick in at the top of this hill

Yeah, nobody's listening to you

Yeah, okay. Sure

Yeah, or else we'll...

Yeah, Peter's right. I mean, it's not like you've found a job

Yeah, plus, it's all brand new jokes

Yeah, Quagmire who?

Yeah, scientists can. They're doing it all the time. Pick up a book.

Yeah, screw you, too.

Yeah, see, people go to NASCAR hoping for a crash.

Yeah, so we're, uh, thinking about selling the house.

Yeah, some might say the second best lawn in the neighborhood.

Yeah, sorry.

Yeah, thanks, Lois. And you were right.

Yeah, that condo looks awesome.

Yeah, that that doesn't count.

Yeah, that was me, I was the one who threw up in the sink.

Yeah, that'll be great.

Yeah, that's hilarious, Chris, but we've got to buckle down.

Yeah, that's real smart.

Yeah, that's real smart.

Yeah, that's right... I knocked your kid over to get a hot dog.

Yeah, the deaf one didn't hear Joe's lawnmower.

Yeah, the hell with this. I'm starving.

Yeah, then you'd be the tenth friend who's killed himself in front of me.

Yeah, they almost wouldn't print that at Kinko's.

Yeah, this is gonna be awesome.

Yeah, this is kind of a personal thing.

Yeah, those boos don't hurt so much

Yeah, totally.

Yeah, try that, and maybe stand on your tippy toes.

Yeah, uh... I I think, um...

Yeah, we ain't spoke in a week.

Yeah, we did it

Yeah, we did. But it was a disaster.

Yeah, we didn't mean no harm.

Yeah, we saw Surf's Up 2

Yeah, we we've kind of already decided

Yeah, we'll be back with a turkey

Yeah, well, I got a ton of business experience

Yeah, well, it's no big..

Yeah, well, that's, d... That's because that..

Yeah, what a waste of money.

Yeah, what kind of photo shoot was it?

Yeah, what what... yeah, what do you think,

Yeah, who the hell are you?

Yeah, yeah, she's fine. We're having brunch after this.

Yeah, yeah, ten.

Yeah, you betcha, Quagmire. I'm very persuasive.

Yeah, you got anything for a poor fat person

Yeah, you guys should definitely come.

Yeah, you hump her real good, Brian!

Yeah, you know.

Yeah, you put an island in there, you're in business

Yeah, you watch me, bitch.

Yeah, you're like an even more handsome Adam Carolla.

Yeah!

Yeah! All right, I'm in! Awesome, road trip!

Yeah! Free flying meat!

Yeah! I I mean, maybe not them, but somebody else.

Yeah! Kill the whites! Race war!

Yeah! Look, he's the man of the hour. Everybody loves him.

Yeah! Party!

Yeah! Smash! Boom!

Yeah! Yeah! I've been to Connecticut!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And last night, I closed another big deal.

Yeah. Are there a lot of stairs in this building?

Yeah. But I'm such a loser, she'll never let me do that.

Yeah. Hey, I got a funny story.

Yeah. Holy crap, it's beautiful.

Yeah. I love you, Lois

Yeah. I was thinking maybe our best bet

Yeah. I'd like that, Neil.

Yeah. Just give it a little test tap, see where she's at.

Yeah. Maybe I could tell Donna about that.

Yeah. My dad gave it to me.

Yeah. Oh, my God, you're so twisted.

Yeah. We'll be a better team than the Warsaw Globetrotters.

Yeah. What else?

Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, seeing the natural beauty of this place

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeesh.

Yep, down the hatch.

Yep, he's a lot of laughs

Yep, that's what we're here for. Okay, Stewie.

Yep, we're doing something right

Yep. Wanted it, got it. That's the new Joe.

Yes, and there's so much to learn.

Yes, and use our ships to block their supply chains.

Yes, but it's horrible!

Yes, however, Mr. Quagmire was born on February 29th.

Yes, I did, dear.

Yes, I have a question.

Yes, I heard you say that earlier.

Yes, I think you're right.

Yes, I... Oh! Oh, that's nice

Yes, it does. We gotta get out of here.

Yes, Kemosabe.

Yes, looks like someone's gone at him with a "hwhip."

Yes, master.

Yes, Meg

Yes, sorry to deceive you all,

Yes, very. He even bought some sort of language tapes,

Yes, yes, yes, we all know who the other one was. Let's go.

Yes, you do, Brian.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! Oh, God! Thank God!

Yes! That!

Yes! Uh, stunning.

Yes! Yes!

Yes! You've destroyed us!

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. I saw he was scrubbing his back with a long celery stalk.

Yes. In fact, today was my first day.

Yesterday, Karen laughed so hard she popped a button on her jeans.

You always have to argue with me

You and a guest are cordially invited

You and Brian better get another turkey right now!

You and I are done, too.

You and I have quite a day ahead of us

You and I will get revenge on those bitches lady style.

You are 100% aware of what you're doing.

You are a real estate agent; you just don't know it yet

You are doing deliberately odd things

You are every bit as good as that bag of garbage.

You are getting an abortion, Stewie.

You are so stupid!

You are such a scumbag.

You are the turkey I have chosen to pardon

You are watching Amazon Prime,

You are, you are just trying anything, aren't you?

You are?

You asked them to make fun of you.

You bet I would.

You bet.

You better get on board with this.

You better take that back.

You bring home two bands of hippie murderers,

You broke the chain and now we have to walk!

You buy your jeans at Wal Mart?

You calmed them down just by talking with your mouth and your pretty lips.

You can always tell which fathers are disappointed

You can call me at any time

You can count on me.

You can drink from these and then put 'em on your head

You can help me with some chores.

You can start tracing his body with chalk

You can think about that while you're in jail.

You can? Oh, thank you so much!

You can't always get things right on the first try.

You can't even say it. I think I'm gonna throw up.

You can't even see

You can't just slap a new label on something

You can't kick me off the project.

You can't quit.

You can't see my nipples, can you?

You chose a turkey over me?!

You clearly have not paid attention

You close the door and you wait.

You could be a black guy if your ding a ling wasn't so damn tiny.

You could be a doctor, an architect.

You could go on to do anything.

You could kill, like, eight at a time that way.

You couldn't have been here for three hours on this, the hottest day of the year,

You dick

You dick!

You did most of that damage.

You didn't eat any of it.

You didn't forget about our date, did you?

You didn't go to work today, did you?

You didn't have sex with the Messiah.

You didn't know existed.

You died for our sins and ascended into Heaven,

You do?

You do?

You don't got to read books, and you never die.

You don't got to worry about nothing,

You don't want to outshine your father.

You drove my car into a lake, you almost let me drown,

You eat loud?

You ever heard of money? Yes.

You find some sucker to buy it, and I'll make you partner.

You folks are in luck

You followed through on your drunken ravings.

You freak me out.

You get all of her squawkin' out, Doc?

You get the gist of what my Twitter is about.

You go ahead. I've got to go make the waffle fries

You go find him and bring him back!

You go to the ballpark, get your bag of Bulls eyes

You gonna buy a cookie this time?

You got 35,000 views in one night

You got a good body, man. Why do you hide it under that robe?

You got it, babe

You got it, mister.

You got Pecker and Dick in the Glory hole,

You got that from me

You got to ask yourself one question. "Do I feel lucky?"

You got to do the work of two men and pay yourself for one

You got to help us!

You got to see this!

You got to take me to the dentist to get my mouth fixed

You got to warn somebody before you hand him a square burger.

You got us thrown off a bus, you broke our bike,

You got white chocolate French fries?

You gotta come check it out, man.

You guys are gross!

You guys are lame.

You guys are my only friends,

You guys do karate?

You guys must think I'm pathetic.

You guys ready?

You guys wouldn't believe the day I've had.

You guys, I don't care what we do for my birthday,

You guys, I got his pen!

You guys, I'm freaking out.

You guys, I've been at this all night,

You guys, you'll never guess what.

You guys!

You had a baby shower?

You have a beautiful child, Mrs. Roberts

You have a handsome face.

You have a lot of opinions about a lot of comedians.

You have a weapons closet, too?

You have nice "feetses."

You have no idea how offensive you are to women, do you?

You have nothing to be nervous about.

You have the sheet music for "Highway to the Danger Zone"?

You have to do everything the fat man normally would.

You have to know me to know I'm just joking.

You have to spend time with me

You heard wrong.

You hit me!

You hit one of my kids, and now he can't fly right.

You just bragging about candles?

You just eat those up, too, huh?

You just gave away the store, mister.

You just gave money to Hitler!

You just happen to be the offspring of a generation

You just have to be yourself

You just used your last bullet.

You keep going, though.

You kidnapped him?

You knew that wasn't really me.

You know how good I am at making a deal.

You know how I've always loved your novel

You know Jeff Garlin has one of these in his house.

You know our cycles have lined up?

You know something? I could do better than these idiots

You know what else lasts an eternity? This conversation.

You know what else we got?

You know what I tried today? A fig.

You know what to do.

You know what, hold on. I'll just ask your teenage daughter.

You know what, Peter?

You know what, Peter? I'm not talking to you right now.

You know what, Peter? I'm not talking to you right now.

You know what, we should just go out and start filming.

You know what, you're right.

You know what?

You know what? Go to hell, Peter!

You know what? I don't have to sit here and take this.

You know what? I I've thought about it.

You know what? I'd like that. It's a date.

You know what? Maybe I am ready to buy.

You know what? Maybe I am ready to buy.

You know what? Screw Cleveland.

You know what? Why not a runway model?

You know what? You know what? Maybe it's my fault.

You know what? You're full of it.

You know where the most interesting stuff is, Dad?

You know who's really beautiful? Joan Allen.

You know why it's free?

You know why they got us sitting next to each other

You know, 'cause of your boners and stuff.

You know, as Lois's father, I hate the thought of her having sex with Peter.

You know, Brian, I gave some thought

You know, having our own store could be kind of fun

You know, I guess the lesson here is,

You know, I spent the whole time trying to kill myself,

You know, I used to hate you for it, but..

You know, I was actually thinking,

You know, I'd see these crippled kids

You know, I've got all the papers for the loan officer,

You know, I've got to tell you, this stuff you gave me

You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think that fish are ghosts.

You know, in case any of you want to, uh, come cheer us on,

You know, it would be nice

You know, it's kind of hitting me now

You know, it's not his fault, though

You know, Lois always dreamed about coming here, and now I know why.

You know, Lois, I've been thinking about what you said.

You know, maybe I won't miss you people as much as I thought.

You know, Meg, maybe you should get someone super smart

You know, Nelson,

You know, not being that great

You know, not only did he quit his job,

You know, our son's a famous actor.

You know, Peter, I love your chin, but I got to ask

You know, Peter's challenging the stereotype

You know, see, this is how you meet people

You know, sending him to school wouldn't be the worst idea.

You know, she's right

You know, some families take their baby to the zoo.

You know, some of you out there are calling me a hero.

You know, that was our old dog's dish.

You know, that's a not half bad idea.

You know, that's really nice of you, Stewie.

You know, the one that..

You know, there is such a thing as too much exercise

You know, this is nice.

You know, very famously, as having released a kraken.

You know, we did so so building a family,

You know, whatever you're doing, it isn't healthy, Brian

You know, when I first met you, I thought, hey, I love this guy!

You know, when you were poor, you were always a douche,

You know... I don't think I need Heather anymore.

You know... I don't think I need Heather anymore.

You know... that the British are coming

You like sex? Eh

You lived in Springfield?

You look a little young. How old are you?

You look ridiculous like that.

You look terrible

You made it, Lois. You made it.

You may argue that this is a waste of energy,

You may be right, Chris

You may be, but..

You mean hugely profitable?

You mean like a slice of turkey,

You mean like my oily face and back?

You mean like that frog? Who?

You mean my wife Kim?

You mean running?

You mean, like, fall asleep on the toilet

You might have a need for.

You need a little freshen up?

You need me to clean out your litter box?

You need them Lee Press Ons.

You need to be more sensitive.

You need to be more underhanded and vicious.

You never gave up on me.

You never get to see somebody else driving your car

You okay? Everything okay?

You promise you're not gonna make fun of me?

You promise? Okay, well, now you owe me an apology.

You pull your pants down and you do it through this fart hole.

You realize that kid is plowing both our wives right now.

You really are a natural caregiver, aren't you?

You really don't know history.

You really think I can do it, Evan?

You really think so?

You rebel scum!

You requested a variance to build a hot tub off your garage.

You s... I can do all the tests

You said we were having Italian?

You said you kicked his ass.

You said you were in love with her.

You sang that whole song about it.

You saved my life.

You screwed up bad with Chris. And you still haven't apologized

You screwed up bad with Chris. And you still haven't apologized

You see what you started?

You see, I'm a Family Guy

You see, the whole thing we're going for here at the TSA is a sort of bored fascism.

You should be asleep by now.

You should be much more concerned about your weight

You should come work for me.

You should move back to Minnesota.

You should see me throw.

You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.

You son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch! How could you do that to me?

You sound angry

You still helped me when I really needed it.

You stop it, Brian

You strangle your son? That's insane!

You sure about this, Peter?

You sure are spending a lot of time with my sister lately.

You sure did. You're a natural at this.

You sure you're ready for this?

You take her left side, I'll take her right.

You taught me something today, Bri.

You there! Boy!

You think 20 years just happens?

You think I can handle it?

You think Morgan Fairchild has a fart hole in her house?

You think other guys hang out and watch their friend's naked gyrating butt?

You think other guys hang out and watch their friend's naked gyrating butt?

You think so? Yeah

You think you're better than me?!

You think you're better than us?

You totally screwed up my book

You touch my ass, I swear to God I'll kill you!

You two are so cool and funny.

You unilaterally decided I was better off

You use your old crib! Oh, right.

You used me just so you could date my sister!

You used some of my magazines for your fake ransom notes. It's okay.

You want a cube of Froosh?

You want a sample?

You want me to have sex with another man?

You want to eat the baby together on the way home?

You want to go to a concert? Huh?

You want to join us?

You want to know what kind of person Glenn Quagmire is?

You want to know what made me the person I am?

You want to lose your virginity to Lois?!

You want to tell me what the hell happened

You wear lost and found jeans?

You were able to put me back together again.

You were fun, we got into trouble together, we got...

You were lying? You weren't feeling sick?

You were mad at us?

You were right, Glenn. I was a terrible mother.

You were right, Peter. This kid's a thief.

You were right, Peter. This kid's a thief.

You were supposed to make Chris get rid of that doll.

You were trying to figure out a way to tell me that?

You what?!

You what?! Double trouble.

You will not be serving prison time after all

You won't want to say, "Boa noite."

You wouldn't believe who really writes

You you did this?

You you got to stand up for a second. Like like, just for a second.

You you look very dapper, sir. Thanks, Brian.

You, famous?

You, get in here!

You, uh, you in the game, too?

You, uh... you okay?

You..

You...

You... you bit me!

You'd be willing to take the SAT for me this weekend?

You'd crap your pants.

You'd do that? Wow, that'd be great!

You'd have to speak to Mr. Griffin about that.

You'll always be my favorite little boy.

You'll be a local hero, like Paul Revere

You'll catch your second wind

You'll meet lots of famous people.

You'll never have this, Meg

You're a baby.

You're a born salesman.

You're a dog, Brian.

You're a good boy.

You're a grown dog start acting like one.

You're a hit, Meg.

You're a jerk, Neil!

You're a jerk!

You're a little piggy, aren't you, Nelson?

You're a monster.

You're absolutely hopeless!

You're absolutely right.

You're amazing, and I will never be like you

You're an atheist, and the one guy you don't believe in

You're an idiot! I'm an idiot?

You're an imposter!

You're an overnight sensation.

You're bad at looking at billboards.

You're basically un fireable. What do you mean?

You're being terrible parents.

You're blending in better than a centipede among millipedes.

You're both losers.

You're damn right I did! And I'll do it again

You're damn right, darlin'.

You're disgusting. Take him away.

You're dreaming.

You're driving.

You're even worse than Dr. Finkelstein.

You're firing me?

You're funny.

You're getting kids to laugh at handicapped people,

You're getting warmer.

You're going down at that karate tournament.

You're going to be impossible to be around.

You're going to have to be the host of Thanksgiving.

You're gonna get yourself hurt.

You're gonna have to drive a little faster!

You're gonna start helping around the house,

You're gonna watch me get pregnant.

You're here for me to poop on!

You're honest, and direct, and compassionate,

You're hopeless, Peter!

You're in high school, sweetie.

You're in no condition to drive.

You're interfering with my professional business

You're kind of an egghead, aren't you, Brian?

You're kind of undoing everything you just did when you kicked my ass.

You're kind of undoing everything you just did when you kicked my ass.

You're losing her!

You're makin' me feel lower than a squid at the bottom of the ocean.

You're making this whole thing crude.

You're my best friend.

You're my butler. I'm not your butler

You're never gonna find a turkey in there.

You're never gonna kick Liam Neeson's ass?

You're not for kids

You're not supposed to talk!

You're not... you're not gonna do anything.

You're out of jail! How'd you get out?

You're parked behind me at your place

You're playing a dangerous game, Scott!

You're pregnant with our baby?!

You're really okay with this?

You're really on fire

You're right

You're right to have that reaction, Marge

You're right. God, what happened?

You're saying horrible things about Lois.

You're saying we should give them all faux hawks?

You're sensitive,

You're sitting around, talking about sleeping with other guys!

You're starting to get black gums like an older dog.

You're such a sweetheart.

You're such a sweetheart.

You're the fourth person to offer that,

You're the one who insisted I be a stay at home mom.

You're the one who made me what I am!

You're the smart one in the family, and I'm the dumb one.

You're wearing a bow tie? What's the occasion?

You're welcome, Stewie

You're welcome.

You're wh...? What are you doing here?

You're you're so... submissive.

You've described, I did a CAT scan...

You've got a job. As my fourth best friend.

You've got an account with a dentist?

You've got no turkey, and now you've got no friend.

You've got to agree to this surgery.

You've had a rough day?

You've never apologized once for the way you raised me!

You've ruined this for me

You've successfully completed the program.

Your 2,000 year long cold streak is about to come to an end.

Your bail's been posted.

Your beer is in big trouble!

Your book is genius, Brian.

Your cartoon is sexist!

Your dish was just a live rabbit who thought he was taking a bath.

Your face looks like a used condom

Your father got a DVD of black people fighting in the street.

Your favorite sitcom lines preceded by the word "uh."

Your feet look old.

Your feet! That's getting old, you know.

Your heartbeat is weird. It is not consistent at all.

Your Honor, as the defendant's mother, I ask that you show mercy on him

Your Honor, citizens of Springfield

Your Honor, I have renounced my sinful past,

Your Honor, we'd like to thank and excuse juror number 17.

Your kid's got a walk in closet?

Your mama has cancer.

Your mom's so hot.

Your only chance at fame would've been

Your report goes right into the circular file

Your saxophone?

Your sentence has been commuted.

Your son is dead!

Your son's relationship with that doll is better than our own marriage!

Your son's relationship with that doll is better than our own marriage!

Your story thread in Love, Actually

Your sufferin' succotash was absolutely delicious.

Your voice sounds stupid

Your whole body looks like Paul McCartney's neck

Yum!

Yup. Never been more sure of anything in my life.

Zap!

Zenith means top.

Zip! Zam! Zoop!

1,000 what?

12... ten... eight donuts

15. B But he didn't force himself on me. I wanted it, too.

23. But I'm sure you have a lot of trophies of your own

* Sing what you see * * Oh, yeah *

* Sing what you see * * Uh huh *

Anything you say... Peter, Peter!

Anything you say... Peter, Peter!

Aren't you an atheist? Yeah, it's crazy.

as we move forward into the next fiscal year

God, 20 years. I know this is a hard time for you,

Hey, is Crystal ready? Oh, hi, Ronnie.

Hi. What can I do for you? Yes, I was wondering,

How long does this last? Hard to say

How many are there now? Four, five, six, seven.

I got to cut out the baby. Oh, my God!

I got to cut out the baby. Oh, my God!

I miss her so much. I know, honey.

I'm sorry? No, I'm sorry. I thought this was a bank.

Mom?! Crystal?

Mom... Di did you...? Yep. Twice.

No way, he wouldn't do that. Peter, Chris is on the tape.

Nope. Huh. Sounds like fun.

Nope. Huh. Sounds like fun.

Nope. Well, you'll tell me if I get it, though, right?

Not gonna work, Stewie. Yes, you're right

Oh cool, a throwing watch! No, no, Peter, it...

Oh, hey, Lois. Hey, these are my new Jamie, Karen and Becca.

Oh, ho, ho! Ooh!

Oh, that's wonderful! How do you feel?

or or we had a date night? We do stuff.

Ow! Damn it! You moved it.

Ow... You have the right to remain silent.

Ow... You have the right to remain silent.

Peter? Hey, can me and Ramon go ride shirtless bikes?

Really? Absolutely.

Really? Absolutely.

So, you want to go upstairs? Sure.

Sure, I... Easy there, Joe

Ten. One.

Thanks. That's not a compliment

That hurts! That's right.

That's right. Well, I'll take care of that.

That's why. Lois, I want my own checkbook, and I want it now!

Want to go to a loud concert? No.

We did it! Wow, look at us.

We did it! Wow, look at us.

We got to search his bedroom. Fine, go ahead.

We're gonna make it! Trust me, we're not

What the hell?! Chris made a sex doll?!

What's that? Give me that knife.

Would you like an ice cold glass? Why, sure.

Yeah! What?

You did? Yeah. From now on,

You don't? No.

You don't? No.

You really think so? Sure, I do.

You really think so? Sure, I do.

You were set up, too, huh? Yeah.

You what?! I have seen the righteous path of our Savior,

You're awful. That was the worst

: No, silly, I take the bus. I'm in high school.

: White trash rates from an army guy.

...he's gonna have to repeat ninth grade.

...Quagmire and Bonnie,

...right there

...seats.

...That End in Fire.

'cause he's on probation

'Cause Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin

'cause I actually like running that cookie shop

'Cause I am.

'cause I bounced a kid onto the house.

'Cause I forgot to mention, all our money is in our stolen car

'Cause I think we're really gonna surprise everyone.

'Cause it sucks! Quagmire?

'Cause it's funny! What, do you think you're better than me?

'Cause someday, I'm gonna kick his ass.

'cause that's what people do before they write a check.

'Cause the times change, but I don't.

'cause then I'd have something to be proud of.

'cause there's seven fonts in 12 colors.

'cause they're weird looking themselves.

'cause we usually only do these things for half an hour

'cause you spent two minutes of the last segment

'Cause, because that kid... That's because...

'Ello, luv.

'How heavy, ' he wondered, 'is the human soul?'"

'Sup, ladies?

"...exclaimed Billy the Bullfrog

"'Could you find it in your heart

"'Damn, that's cray cray in a good way, right there!'"

"'For if I could not forgive,

"'His brains, his brains... they're everywhere!'

"'I don't need legs when I've got a positive attitude

"'I'm sorry that we mistreated you, '

"'If you could all spare just one nut,

"'Nothing but cops on the take and hookers on the make, '

"'Of course I'll share with you all, '

"'Please, ' said the Hopeful Squirrel.

"'That and a bag of crank

"'What's a hooker?' asked the bunny, who was gay.

"20 years and millions of dollars

"Ace Pilotson, reporting for World War Love."

"all he did was wait for food

"All right, all right, all right

"All that"?

"All types"?

"And so, the squirrel decided to climb for his own nuts

"and then tucked in for another cozy night

"And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain,

"Big Hairy Dicks for Kids."

"but after a month in captivity,

"but he lost interest in that, too

"But little did he know, a strain of super gonorrhea

"But none of the other animals

"Chapter One

"Cock a doodle doo" is a passion project I'd been mulling over for years,

"Commuted"? I don't understand.

"Damn, that's cray cray in a good way, right there!"

"Dear Penthouse, I used to think these letters were fake

"Dear Penthouse, I used to think these letters were fake

"Dicks for Kids"? "Dicks for Kids."

"Dicks for Kids"? "Dicks for Kids."

"Eat my shorts."

"Engine."

"Fat Kid Hustles Through Crosswalk."

"Football."

"George used to be a curious monkey,

"Get rid of it"? You know, why don't you just say it?

"Give me all your money

"Good morning, Vietnam."

"Great feet."

"Great feet."

"he'd wish he was still paralyzed from the waist down

"Hello, my name is Glenn Quagmire.

"Hey, glad you guys could make it!"

"hoped that the other animals would share their food with him

"I am a neighbor of yours on Spooner Street.

"I thought to myself, here's a kid

"I took Apu

"I was giving her all she's got."

"If you could spare just one nut,

"is my Saturday night!' spat Randy.

"It was the last day of summer

"It was winter in the forest,

"Lois, everything is delicious."

"Mother and son"?! Mothers love their children!

"Never give up on your dreams"?

"Nigel Harpington."

"Oh, behave."

"Oh, I don't..

"Oh, no worries, bro."

"On top of that, some son of a bitch killed his brother."

"Performance and stamina, for men

"Pound for pound"?

"said Buddy the Badger

"said Randy the Raccoon

"said the squirrel.

"She's beautiful."

"Shoe kake"?

"Shoehorn.orn."

"Shoehorns."

"Show me the money."

"so the squirrel was happy he'd built that hot tub

"Stewie, I remember the day you were born.

"The monkey's kick ass buzz saw hand tore his head open

"The squirrel"...

"The weight of the gun in Jason's hand surprised him.

"The woodchuck mom and her baby finished their cocoa

"The zoo people wanted him to mate,

"There once was a handicapped squirrel

"To continue your emotional education."

"To Heather, from Chris"?

"to share your nuts with us?'

"until my taped together, soccer ball headed girlfriend

"until my taped together, soccer ball headed girlfriend

"Wait until they get a load of me," said the Joker.

"was gonna hit him so fierce

"We" scored a thousand.

"What?" You know what. I think it looks good.

"What's wrong with our marriage?"

"Who built what" is not a question

"Who is this?"

"who's got a white, empty canvas

"You're great."

(ascending stairs)

(both grunting)

(chuckles)

(chuckles) If it's not one thing, it's another.

(chuckles) No further questions.

(continues singing)

(coughs)

(crescendoes)

(crying)

(crying)

(door creaks open, footsteps approach)

(dramatic rock music playing)

(gagging)

(gasping)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groans, glass squeaking)

(groans)

(groans)

(groans)

(groans)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunts

(grunts)

(indistinct chatter, music playing)

(knocking on door) QUAGMIRE: Peter?

(laughs)

(laughter)

(marching band playing)

(men shouting, weapon firing)

(normal voice): The back is all mashed potatoes now.

(Peter whimpers, Liam grunts)

(phone buzzing)

(resumes singing)

(screaming)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(singing)

(sips)

(sniffles)

(sobbing)

(typing)

(water running)

(weaponry firing in distance)

(whimpering)

(yells in pain)

[ elderman ]

* 'Cause when you're smiling *

* 37 people killed *

* All girls have a guy's haircut *

* All of this because I'm singing in a pointy hat

* All the things that make us

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* All the things that make us *

* An old red barn that needs a paint job *

* And I just can't contain..

* And I love what's goin' through me *

* And I'll tell myself I'm over you... *

* And just like the guy whose feet *

* And now the show is over now

* And you play your game * Bingo.

* And you're to blame *

* Are too big for his bed *

* Art, Bob, Chet, Don, Ed, Frank, Gus *

* At Niagara Falls. *

* Bat us around *

* Be happy again *

* Because I'm free *

* Boy in a truck too young to drive *

* Break it up *

* Break the bubble *

* But we land on our feet..

* But when you're crying *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But where are those good old fashioned values *

* But, girl, tonight you look so pretty *

* Car bombing in Syria *

* Check it and see *

* Come on, baby *

* Come on, baby *

* Come on, fire me up *

* Crank your car to make it start *

* Dee dah Dee dah Dee deh doh doh *

* Dee dah Dee dah doh *

* Demolition woman, can I be your man? *

* Do you do more than dance? *

* Don't get shot by a bullet

* Don't get shot by a bullet *

* Doo dah doodle doo dah doodle doh doh. *

* Doo doo doo doo doodle loodle doo dah doo *

* Dream about window

* Dribble, dribble, dribble

* Fellatio, Pinocchio, a pizza pie from Domino's *

* Four friends *

* Four friends *

* Four friends... * Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that song?

* Give to my friend

* Grandma got run over by a reindeer *

* Hal, Irv, John, Ken, Lew Matt Ned Ox Pat *

* Happy Birthday to you *

* Happy Birthday to you *

* Happy Birthday to you. *

* Happy Birthday, dear Peter *

* Having an adventure *

* Having an adventure *

* Having an adventure *

* Having an adventure *

* Having my baby *

* Having my baby *

* Having my baby *

* Having my baby *

* Having my baby *

* He's... a... Fam... ily..

* He's... a... Fam... ily..

* He's... a... Fam... ily..

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! *

* Head, shoulder, knees and toes, knees and toes

* Hey there, Delilah, what's it like in New York City? *

* Highway run *

* Horny on a big boat

* Horny on a big boat! *

* I already missed your call tonight. *

* I already missed your call tonight. *

* I can't get enough..

* I don't want to miss your call *

* I don't want to miss your call *

* I farm for my meals... *

* I got a fever of 103 *

* I got a fever of 103 *

* I love you *

* I play my part *

* I swear it's true *

* I'd been married long time ago *

* I'd been married long time ago *

* I'd been married long time ago *

* I'd been married long time ago *

* I'll tell you why *

* I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world *

* I'm a thousand miles away *

* I'm a woman in love *

* I'm here with my gal *

* I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded *

* I've looked at clouds from both sides now... *

* If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe *

* If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe *

* If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe *

* If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe *

* In calcium mine.

* Into the midnight sun... *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* Is violence in movies and sex on TV *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It seems today that all you see *

* It was a beautiful day *

* It's another way of sayin' how much I love you *

* Joe is on a vacation far away *

* Joe is on a vacation far away *

* Just give it time *

* Keep on smiling *

* Keep your wits about you

* La, ah, ah, ah. *

* Laugh and cry

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laugh and cry *

* Laughing outside, crying down below *

* Leave your message when the beep is over *

* Livin' like a lover with a radar phone *

* Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp *

* Lots of little names, nyah nyah nyah nyah guy! *

* Love is like a bomb, baby, come on, get it on *

* Lucky there's a family guy

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a family guy *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Lucky there's a man who positively can do *

* Me

* Meet Virginia *

* Nah nah nah nah Family Guy, nah nah start the credits *

* No TV, movies suck *

* Nothing seems to fit *

* Nothing's worrying *

* Now let's watch a whole bunch of ads. *

* Oh ee, oh ee, hey yo, ha. *

* Oh, I see a Howard Johnson's billboard *

* On which we used to rely?

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* On which we used to rely? *

* Ooh, in the name of love *

* Ooh, oh, Josephine... *

* Ooh, the people are dead

* Out here in the fields *

* Out on the streets *

* Pour some *

* Pour some *

* Pour your *

* Pulsing through my veins *

* Put away basketball, go to work *

* Quint, Ron, Sam, Tom, Ulf, Vic *

* Raindrops are falling on my head *

* Raindrops are falling on my head *

* Round and round *

* Sexy thing, you. *

* Shake it up *

* Shake your hands, kick around *

* She never compromises..

* She thinks I'm beautiful *

* She works hard for the money *

* She works hard for the money *

* She's my cherry pie *

* Shot through the heart *

* Sing what we see, sing what we see *

* Sing what you see *

* Skididdly boom bop a Dee, yeah *

* So come on, take a bottle *

* So hard for it, honey *

* So many things that you want to say *

* So stop your sighing *

* So you better..

* Spin on finger

* Sugar on me *

* Sugar on me *

* Sugar on me *

* That never would come to me *

* That's where we'll meet *

* The sun beat down *

* The sun comes shining through *

* The whole world smiles with you *

* The whole world smiles with you. *

* There are lots of other guys. *

* There she goes *

* There she goes again *

* They keep falling *

* This place used to be fun!

* Those are just some of the guys *

* Those raindrops are falling on my head *

* Tightened our belts *

* Times Square can't shine as bright as you *

* Tonight *

* Tonight *

* Too Ra loo Ra loo ral. *

* Tuck in shirt

* Two rotations

* Underwear that laces up *

* Walking home from our house Christmas Eve... *

* Walter, Xavier, Yaz and Zeke *

* We don't need money... *

* We'll put you on your shelf *

* We're four friends *

* We're four friends *

* Wear a suit to breakfast *

* Well, I'm hot blooded *

* What comes around goes around *

* When you're laughing *

* When you're laughing *

* When you're smiling *

* When you're smiling *

* Where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe? *

* Where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe? *

* Where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe? *

* Where did you come from, where did you go? *

* Where did you come from, where did you go? *

* Where did you come from, where did you go? *

* Where did you come from, where did you go? *

* Where you from *

* With love we'll find a way *

* Workin' on a mystery... *

* Yeah *

* Yeah, I'm running' down a dream *

* Yeah! *

* Yes, you do *

* You bring on the rain *

* You called him up to talk it over *

* You don't have to read my mind..

* You give love a bad name Bad name *

* You give love a bad name Bad name *

* You give love... *

* You sexy thing *

* You will die of measles. *

♪ ♪

♪ All the things that make us ♪

♪ All the things that make us ♪

♪ But I'll wait, my dear ♪

♪ But I'm holding on ♪

♪ But where are those good old fashioned values ♪

♪ But where are those good old fashioned values ♪

♪ Every girl wants you ♪

♪ Family Guy 13x17 ♪ Fighting Irish Original Air Date on May 3, 2015

♪ Family Guy 13x18 ♪ Take My Wife Original Air Date on May 17, 2015

♪ Haven't met you yet ♪

♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪

♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪

♪ I can make your ♪

♪ I'm gonna be your ♪

♪ I'm not the kind of girl ♪

♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪

♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪

♪ It seems today that all you see ♪

♪ It seems today that all you see ♪

♪ Laugh and cry ♪

♪ Laugh and cry ♪

♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪

♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪

♪ Mom and aunt kiss... ♪

♪ Num... ♪

♪ Number ♪

♪ Number ♪

♪ Number one ♪

♪ Oh, no.. . ♪

♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

♪ One ♪

♪ One ♪

♪ Seriously, I drive older woman nuts ♪

♪ The tide is high ♪

♪ Till it's my turn ♪

♪ To be her man ♪

♪ When she's doing your dad ♪

♪ Who gives up just like that ♪

♪ You a bitch and a ho and a ho and a bitch ♪

♪ Your mom thinks of me ♪