The Goldbergs (2013) - Season 2 Edit

A bat against a plasma cannon?

A blue banana, and this glittery thing.

A brand new record!

A bunch of chickens.

A career in music, it's absurd.

A connecticut between us. Pass.

A country divided, coming together

A decision I would quickly regret.

A disc surrounded by a case

A fake id,

A few years ago, john calabasas saw me in the mall

A genius little boy.

A girl from your class, not mrs. Rubin.

A goopy eye is well worth

A gung ho ex jock filled with stupid sports cliches.

A guy like that belongs in a gym yelling at kids. It's in his blood.

A hotel?

A hoverboard?

A hug would feel good on my body!

A liar is, if nothing else, a salesman.

A little cocoon of confidence.

A little something I like to call "barry goldberg charm."

A little time away was the best thing for him.

A little?

A long time.

A lot of (bleep) smoke

A man who had been sitting on his ass

A movie about a kid who hacks his way

A music video is one part thumping bass,

A ninja of love!

A noid knocking a noid down.

A parking lot full of philly tailgaters.

A plate? Ha.

A presentation has nothing to do with knowledge.

A prestigious summer music program.

A puppet? Is fozzie bear just a puppet?

A real man would find dana himself.

A real, grown up, ice cold beer!

A red skirt suit like us.

A refill on this delicious, exotic tea.

A regular kid,

A rival wannabe posse from the next town over.

A spare pair of underpants in your locker.

A story not about people,

A supermodel had to be perfect,

A symbol of my respect.

A thank you for standing up for me...

A tie so we can be with you all day long at work.

A time to appreciate the people you love...

A typical day for my mom...

A typical Saturday night.

A veritable love letter for the ears,

A very famous theme song.

A very special love boat is almost on!

A video game with people running and jumping.

A what, now? A self gift.

A white stallion down here.

A woman in the white house.

A world where sons just say no to drugs

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Brain freeze! We're insane!

Aah! I touched something wet! I touched something wet!

Aah! Ooh ooh ooh!

Aah! What the hell?

Aah! What the... Stop it!

About a boy who wins a fortune

About a lady who never got married,

About an old girlfriend.

About bevy dancing gave me hope.

About driving all night and islands in the stream

About herself, like, um...

About how much I've won.

About how she snaps necks and takes no prisoners.

About loss and yearning,

About my mantra...

About ninjas and robot sharks is actually good,

About some beautiful dame from my past, but...

About that, there were some rewrites.

About that...

About the messy incident that took place

About the outside world,

About the threat of communism in 1953?

About turner and hooch.

About what?

Absolutely not! We'd love that.

Absolutely not. You've got your sense of humor from me,

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. She's more than fine.

Absolutely. That is correct.

Access granted. We're in.

According to bushido code, yes.

According to the bushido code, you must repay me.

According to the way of the samurai,

Ace. Two!

Across the street from the school.

Acting all, "I don't like you."

Action

Activate those legs

Actively destroy her dreams. Thank you so much.

Actually found something that we both enjoyed.

Actually I do.

Actually, I already did.

Actually, I got lunch plans with vic.

Actually, I have,

Actually, I know a mighty talented girl named dana

Actually, I thought today I'd be the one to do you a favor.

Actually, I was just so overwhelmed. Why?

Actually, I'm not a freshmen.

Actually, I've been thinking.

Actually, pops reminded us about

Actually, somebody does win...

Actually, they killed all the good guys.

Actually, um, a bunch of people

Actually, um, we're not supposed to get any

Actually, you know what would be even more fun?

Actually, your mom's not so bad.

Adam and barry: ¶ we ain't gonna take it

Adam and barry: ¶ we're not gonna take it anymore

Adam can learn six languages,

Adam f. Goldberg. Pleasure.

Adam forgot his lunch. I just brought it to him.

Adam frederick goldberg!

Adam is starring in a rival play.

Adam is very enthusiastic, and he works so hard.

Adam won't let me live with him when I'm old.

Adam, everyone knows what's going on

Adam, I thought you destroyed the tape.

Adam, if you need to make, call me!

Adam, let's just go home.

Adam, look at me.

Adam, we're getting mohawks!

Adam, you can't buy a girlfriend.

Adam: (on phone) have you checked on the cards?

Adam: Ahh!

Adam: Excuse me. I'm sorry. Adam?

Adam: Hey, it's me.

Adam: Hi, dana.

Adam: I can't believe I'm doing a rival play!

Adam: I got you covered in here, big guy!

Adam: Look how tough you are, man.

Adam: Miss cinoman!

Adam: Optimus! No!

Adam: That's just tickling me. (emmy laughs)

Adam: That's the autobots.

Adam: There's just a small paragraph.

Adam: This is in chinese!

Adam: This is not a celebration!

Adam: We gather here today to witness the burial of optimus prime.

Adam: Why are you like this?

Adam: You know what? Yeah. That's perfect.

Adam: You won, gosh! Dang it! Ahhh!

Adam! Come down here and show your mother your hand!

Adam?

Adam? I thought you were grounded.

Adam? We need to talk.

Adam.

Adam. My name is adam.

Adam's my favorite.

Adios!

Adios.

Admit it. Admit you're the cameron.

Admit it. You complain about doing mom stuff,

Adorned with a poorly painted red stripe.

Adult adam: 'cause in the end, it's not about labels people give you.

Adult adam: "grandma," "gam gam," "bubbie"...

Adult adam: A good yenta can dish anytime, anywhere.

Adult adam: A man could only dream.

Adult adam: A sane man would have listened,

Adult adam: A yenta is a nickname for the world's most intrusive,

Adult adam: Across town, my mom was desperate

Adult adam: After a bit of a shaky start,

Adult adam: After a half day of rigorous training at the pizza depot,

Adult adam: After a lifetime of taking barry beatings,

Adult adam: After a quarter of agony,

Adult adam: After a surprisingly fun night

Adult adam: After my dad's horrible day at work,

Adult adam: After pops made me realize I was a winner,

Adult adam: After three awesome hours of video games,

Adult adam: Ah, the toy crazes of the '80s.

Adult adam: All erica wanted to do was teach my mom

Adult adam: All I'd wanted was to bring everyone closer together,

Adult adam: All it took was a cd player

Adult adam: Although winning never came easy to me,

Adult adam: An hour later, their musical opus was ready.

Adult adam: And absolutely nothing was accomplished.

Adult adam: And at that moment,

Adult adam: And barry wasted no time

Adult adam: And bring the pain he did.

Adult adam: And even though erica refused to admit she was a yenta..

Adult adam: And for 30 seconds, he had slightly fooled my mom.

Adult adam: And for all the hard work,

Adult adam: And go we did, but not to tennis or a museum, no.

Adult adam: And grounded it was.

Adult adam: And I may not have been the class clown,

Adult adam: And if it wasn't gonna happen on its own,

Adult adam: And in a moment of sheer stupidity,

Adult adam: And it felt great.

Adult adam: And it wasn't a goldberg thanksgiving

Adult adam: And it would change everything.

Adult adam: And just like that,

Adult adam: And just like that,

Adult adam: And just like that, barry had his new identity.

Adult adam: And just like that, my mother realized

Adult adam: And she was right. He really did.

Adult adam: And so began the first

Adult adam: And so ended the worst losing streak

Adult adam: And so we did get a sitter...

Adult adam: And so, I pulled out all the greats.

Adult adam: And so, my climb into greatness began.

Adult adam: And so, they got to work.

Adult adam: And some of his sayings we just found confusing.

Adult adam: And sure, I borrowed heavily

Adult adam: And sure, you may be far from perfect,

Adult adam: And that guy was lainey's dad,

Adult adam: And that plan was to find love for my jealous science teacher

Adult adam: And that thing was to go sit right in his chair...

Adult adam: And that's a goldberg thanksgiving.

Adult adam: And then his worst day.

Adult adam: And then, I sprinkled in a little gallagher.

Adult adam: And there it was, her signature guilt move...

Adult adam: And there it was, my mom went behind my back

Adult adam: And they did. That day, they were in perfect sync.

Adult adam: And with one simple toss of the keys...

Adult adam: And with that,

Adult adam: And with that,

Adult adam: And with that, a new goldberg tradition began.

Adult adam: And with that, barry did exactly what he wanted.

Adult adam: And with that, coach mellor would train barry

Adult adam: And with that, my mom rushed off

Adult adam: And without family, barry's worst day

Adult adam: And you carry that love with you no matter how far you go.

Adult adam: Anyone who grew up in the '80s will tell you

Adult adam: Anyone who has a big brother will tell you

Adult adam: As 10,000 people booed my father,

Adult adam: As bad as things were for me,

Adult adam: As barry was laying down the laws of the bushido code,

Adult adam: As barry was rushed over to the e.R.,

Adult adam: As barry was watching his first love fly away,

Adult adam: As coach mellor was barely holding it together,

Adult adam: As director, it was my job

Adult adam: As erica was giving up on her dreams,

Adult adam: As erica was headed

Adult adam: As fate would have it, that game,

Adult adam: As I looked at that line of lost little tykes,

Adult adam: As I was getting annoyed with my new green friend,

Adult adam: As livid as my dad was,

Adult adam: As much as my dad hated the sweet stink of borscht...

Adult adam: As much as my mom wanted to do right by erica and barry,

Adult adam: As my band was writing me off,

Adult adam: As my brother and sister were flying high,

Adult adam: As my brother and sister were learning to fight back,

Adult adam: As my brother was losing his job,

Adult adam: As my brother was preparing to take me down,

Adult adam: As my dad and my sister finally embraced who they were,

Adult adam: As my dad made plans with his new best friend,

Adult adam: As my dad realized there really was a double standard,

Adult adam: As my dad watched his only friend walk out of his life,

Adult adam: As my father took a big swing and missed,

Adult adam: As my mom was busy moving in pops,

Adult adam: As my mom was ditching the first day of her new job,

Adult adam: As my mom was realizing she had to figure out

Adult adam: As my mom was trying to negotiate

Adult adam: As my mom's thanksgiving was falling apart,

Adult adam: As my sister was facing a night with my mom,

Adult adam: As this landed with my dad,

Adult adam: As usual, my smother had jammed herself into my life

Adult adam: At school, I had laid down a thick pile of bullcrap,

Adult adam: Back at home, my mom missed the days

Adult adam: Back in the '80s,

Adult adam: Back in the '80s,

Adult adam: Back in the '80s,

Adult adam: Back in the '80s, before you could

Adult adam: Back in the '80s, being a man's man was simple.

Adult adam: Back in the '80s, my mom forced us to take

Adult adam: Back in the '80s, stand up comedy exploded.

Adult adam: Back in the '80s, they combined

Adult adam: Barry booped, batted, and beat himself up pretty bad that day.

Adult adam: Barry didn't get what he wanted out of my dad.

Adult adam: Barry knew no amount of begging could change erica's mind.

Adult adam: Barry may not have been an actual supermodel.

Adult adam: Barry still might not have had a date

Adult adam: Barry was a man of strong convictions.

Adult adam: Barry would never forgive me

Adult adam: Behold my mom's secret weapon.

Adult adam: Behold, the cd,

Adult adam: Being an all knowing yenta, my mom knew exactly

Adult adam: Better, indeed. Like every kid back then,

Adult adam: Both erica and my dad refused to stand down,

Adult adam: But actually, round one went to my dad.

Adult adam: But beverly goldberg was a lot smarter

Adult adam: But for the first time ever,

Adult adam: But I didn't have the guts,

Adult adam: But I didn't.

Adult adam: But in reality, I wasn't ferris.

Adult adam: But it wasn't a good talk.

Adult adam: But my dad didn't care

Adult adam: But she had promised my dad

Adult adam: But that night,

Adult adam: But the most epic urban legend of them all

Adult adam: But the most uncool thing of all

Adult adam: But then, a miracle happened.

Adult adam: But there was one thing my mom didn't count on...

Adult adam: But they didn't.

Adult adam: But they didn't. Instead, they did this...

Adult adam: But with my mom in charge, we didn't need hope.

Adult adam: But, unfortunately for erica,

Adult adam: But, unfortunately for us,

Adult adam: By the end of the week, we had been to china garden 5 times,

Adult adam: By today's standards, the content was questionable.

Adult adam: Cindy crawford,

Adult adam: Drink the mold, I would, and nothing would stop me.

Adult adam: Emmy had found out that I'd never rode a hoverboard.

Adult adam: Erica had lit a spark in my mom,

Adult adam: Erica had smarts and strategy.

Adult adam: Erica refused to sit back

Adult adam: Erica saw that longing look in lainey's eye

Adult adam: Erica was desperately trying to crush my mom's enthusiasm.

Adult adam: Erica was right. Keep it cool and simple.

Adult adam: Erica's dreams of stardom

Adult adam: Especially when it came to erica's best friend, lainey.

Adult adam: Even if it meant going to the hospital

Adult adam: Even more unfortunate...

Adult adam: Even the way she worried about us was uncool.

Adult adam: Even though all the women in my life were mad at me,

Adult adam: Even though barry was making a fool of himself,

Adult adam: Even though coach mellor saved me

Adult adam: Even though my brother liked lainey more than the eagles,

Adult adam: Even though my mom bribed erica to say "I love you,"

Adult adam: Even though the eagles lost pretty bad that day,

Adult adam: Every year, my eccentric uncle marvin would visit...

Adult adam: Every year, pops would give a tipsy toast

Adult adam: First, sam kinison. (screaming) say it! Say it!

Adult adam: For every family,

Adult adam: For my dad, that was his definition of no fun.

Adult adam: For once, beverly goldberg had no mom logic

Adult adam: For the first time ever,

Adult adam: For the first time in his life,

Adult adam: For the first time,

Adult adam: For the next 35 minutes,

Adult adam: For the next week, my dad avoided bill lewis

Adult adam: Fortunately for her, there was no job.

Adult adam: Friends may come and go, but when it comes to family,

Adult adam: Growing up, my mom made every lunch bag

Adult adam: Growing up, my mom was many things,

Adult adam: Halloween in the '80s,

Adult adam: He couldn't even say "I love you"

Adult adam: He didn't, but barry refused to quit looking.

Adult adam: He was more than my hero.

Adult adam: He was right. This was no longer about some silly sword

Adult adam: Hearing that, coming from the woman who loved me too much,

Adult adam: I desperately wanted my girlfriend, dana,

Adult adam: I didn't know if she was buying it,

Adult adam: I had a perfect opening to take pop's advice

Adult adam: I had seriously pissed off my girlfriend.

Adult adam: I not only took their advice, I hit it out of the park.

Adult adam: I said, knowing what was to come

Adult adam: I spent most of that day lost,

Adult adam: I thought raising a fake baby with dana

Adult adam: I was in a tight spot,

Adult adam: I was losing them.

Adult adam: I was no longer the class clown or the nicest guy in school,

Adult adam: I was praying my name would be

Adult adam: I was ready to give my dad hell.

Adult adam: I was what you'd call a late bloomer,

Adult adam: I wasn't, but I was still a champion to my dad

Adult adam: If being sentimental were a sport,

Adult adam: If I ever wanted boo berry or my mother's love again,

Adult adam: In that moment,

Adult adam: In that moment,

Adult adam: In that moment,

Adult adam: In that moment, beverly goldberg saw

Adult adam: In that moment, I realized erica was right.

Adult adam: In that moment, my dad realized my mom was right.

Adult adam: In that moment, my mom realized

Adult adam: In the end,

Adult adam: In the end, for erica,

Adult adam: In the standoff of stubbornness with my dad,

Adult adam: It did not work.

Adult adam: It had been an hour since erica's meltdown,

Adult adam: It had been two days since erica outed us as blockheads

Adult adam: It really was.

Adult adam: It seemed round one went to erica.

Adult adam: It was a moment my brother would hold onto forever.

Adult adam: It was a rookie mistake

Adult adam: It was April 1, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was April 2, 1980 something, my birthday.

Adult adam: It was April 15, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was April 22, 1980 something.

Adult adam: It was April 27, 1980, something,

Adult adam: It was April 29, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was December 3rd, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was December 8th, 1980 something...

Adult adam: It was December 28, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was either think fast

Adult adam: It was Friday night.

Adult adam: It was go time.

Adult adam: It was January 7, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was January 7th, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was March 10th, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was may 6, 1980 something.

Adult adam: It was may 10, 1980, something, and my dad was pondering

Adult adam: It was may 11, 1980, something,

Adult adam: It was may 13, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was mid summer, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was November 2, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was November 12, 1980 something.

Adult adam: It was November 22, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was October 22, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was October 31, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was official.

Adult adam: It was one of those major life lessons

Adult adam: It was one of those moments

Adult adam: It was Saturday afternoon, and my dad was about to take

Adult adam: It was Saturday morning, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was September 4, 1980 something,

Adult adam: It was that classic moment we've all been through,

Adult adam: It was the bottom of the ninth.

Adult adam: It was the meadowbrook mafia,

Adult adam: It was third period, and I was running out of time

Adult adam: It wasn't a historical hockey moment,

Adult adam: It wasn't enough to just watch the princess bride.

Adult adam: It's exactly why she did it.

Adult adam: Just like ferris had been relentlessly tracked down

Adult adam: Just then, my brother realized erica was right.

Adult adam: Like all dads, mine was obsessed with the gas tank.

Adult adam: Like all shows at the time,

Adult adam: Looking back on your childhood is a funny thing.

Adult adam: Louise rubin, the cool mom.

Adult adam: Luckily, my brother had followed the movie to a "t"

Adult adam: Madonna was a bust,

Adult adam: Man, did I kill it.

Adult adam: Meanwhile,

Adult adam: Meanwhile, barry became so depressed

Adult adam: Meanwhile, erica had a plan on how to defeat my dad,

Adult adam: Meanwhile, I was sending off a package

Adult adam: Meanwhile, my dad had laid down the law.

Adult adam: Mine was that I loved george michael

Adult adam: My brother may have failed, but my dad gave him a victory.

Adult adam: My dad didn't normally get involved,

Adult adam: My dad had reached his boiling point.

Adult adam: My dad knew he just had to speak from the heart

Adult adam: My dad may not have understood me,

Adult adam: My dad never said the words,

Adult adam: My father, on the other hand, was not nearly as effusive.

Adult adam: My friends were gonna give me hell.

Adult adam: My mom had officially dedicated her life

Adult adam: My mom may have been kidding,

Adult adam: My mom realized that she could hijack erica's career

Adult adam: My mom used that catchphrase to remind us

Adult adam: My mom wasn't many things,

Adult adam: My mom wasn't the only one

Adult adam: My mom would now apply mom logic

Adult adam: My sister was furious

Adult adam: My sister was starting to realize

Adult adam: Nasty wasn't my style...

Adult adam: Next up was the phillies, and it was gonna be legendary.

Adult adam: No one was prouder than beverly goldberg.

Adult adam: Not when my father had traffic to beat.

Adult adam: Nothing could prepare me for what my friends had in store.

Adult adam: Now all barry had to do was outsmart my old man.

Adult adam: Of course, no one could be,

Adult adam: Of course. That was my answer...

Adult adam: Oh, yeah, my dad was miles from sentimental.

Adult adam: Okay, so, maybe I was way off about that,

Adult adam: Once again, barry had no problem sneaking past my dad.

Adult adam: Once mr. Woodburn had conveniently met his perfect match,

Adult adam: Only one person felt worse than barry and erica... My dad.

Adult adam: Or not.

Adult adam: Out of options, there was only one logical choice left...

Adult adam: Pops could care less about my silly cartoon,

Adult adam: Pops gave me some time

Adult adam: Pops was right, it was time for beverly goldberg

Adult adam: Pops was right.

Adult adam: Pops was right.

Adult adam: Said my insanely jealous mom.

Adult adam: Seemed like my only option was to finally do

Adult adam: She had a plan, all right

Adult adam: Since neither of my parents wanted to be the smusher,

Adult adam: So, I did what han solo would do in this situation.

Adult adam: So, my dad finally got the remote,

Adult adam: So, with a little help from pops,

Adult adam: Some say it was carl lewis

Adult adam: Sometimes the best way

Adult adam: Sure, erica and barry never really saw eye to eye.

Adult adam: Sure, I was mad at my dad,

Adult adam: Sure, it was a train wreck, but she had my undying love.

Adult adam: Sure, my family didn't always speak the same language.

Adult adam: Sure, our family wasn't perfect,

Adult adam: Sure, pops almost burned the place down,

Adult adam: Sure, we had our differences, but my mom was right.

Adult adam: Sure, we were far from royalty or rock gods,

Adult adam: Sure, what barry said was needlessly hurtful,

Adult adam: Sure, winning felt good.

Adult adam: Thanks to mr. Zemeckis,

Adult adam: Thanks to my dad, I realized that pops wasn't the lucky one.

Adult adam: Thanks to my mother, I got out of dodgeball.

Adult adam: That day, my dad and bill lewis discovered

Adult adam: That day, our parents finally found some real common ground.

Adult adam: That night, I was determined

Adult adam: That night, we had something even more rare

Adult adam: That part was beyond easy.

Adult adam: That right there is what you call

Adult adam: That was one of the many urban legends back then.

Adult adam: That wasn't a real saying,

Adult adam: That's right. In the world's most misguided attempt

Adult adam: That's right... Beverly goldberg's mom logic

Adult adam: That's the thing about being a parent...

Adult adam: That's the thing about family.

Adult adam: That's the thing about family.

Adult adam: That's the thing about family.

Adult adam: That's the thing about growing up,

Adult adam: That's the thing about growing up.

Adult adam: That's the thing about growing up...

Adult adam: That's the thing about parents.

Adult adam: That's the thing about parents...

Adult adam: That's the thing about the movies we grow up with...

Adult adam: That's the thing about young love.

Adult adam: That's the thing about young love.

Adult adam: That's when my mom realized

Adult adam: The game was simple.

Adult adam: The guys promised me girls and stolen mascots,

Adult adam: The moment had arrived.

Adult adam: The moment had finally come.

Adult adam: The only problem was that my mom was just a single part

Adult adam: The opening night of starlight express

Adult adam: The overlord of this insanity was mr. Mellor,

Adult adam: The school play...

Adult adam: There it was.

Adult adam: There it was.

Adult adam: There was no way it could get worse.

Adult adam: They were right.

Adult adam: They were worthy adversaries

Adult adam: They weren't a smart crew, but now they were my crew.

Adult adam: They weren't just my heroes.

Adult adam: This is how it went with my dad and my sis.

Adult adam: This sad display made the impossible happen,

Adult adam: This was it.

Adult adam: This was it... Go time.

Adult adam: Traffic even came before his favorite thing in the world...

Adult adam: True to her word,

Adult adam: Truth is,

Adult adam: Truth is, none of us were perfect angels.

Adult adam: Truth is, your greatest memories

Adult adam: Turns out my fake cake for mr. Woodburn

Adult adam: Turns out my mom broke into the control booth

Adult adam: Turns out the price of love is $57 plus tax.

Adult adam: Unfortunately, I got the opposite of that.

Adult adam: Unfortunately, trying to re create your favorite scene

Adult adam: Unlike barry,

Adult adam: Unlike the movie, the firebird was never seen again.

Adult adam: Usually, when my mother wanted to mix in,

Adult adam: W hile I could no longer ignore the nausea,

Adult adam: We never found out who mom voted for that year,

Adult adam: Well, that and the promise of a sensual, silk shirted senor.

Adult adam: What came next was a classic

Adult adam: When you're young, it's easy to believe in magic.

Adult adam: Which is why my dad decided

Adult adam: While barry and erica were realizing the error of their ways,

Adult adam: While barry and my dad were flying high,

Adult adam: While barry had given up on his future,

Adult adam: While barry had some new sweet moves,

Adult adam: While barry was denying he said the "l" word,

Adult adam: While barry was hulking out for lainey,

Adult adam: While barry was struggling with his newfound respect,

Adult adam: While barry went to bed angry at me,

Adult adam: While barry would do anything to stay close to lainey,

Adult adam: While barry's year was looking up,

Adult adam: While erica was trying to educate my mom

Adult adam: While I had let my dad down,

Adult adam: While I headed down to shady willows,

Adult adam: While I knew

Adult adam: While I was determined to right my wrong,

Adult adam: While I was feeling down, barry was trying to get down.

Adult adam: While I was running off to save my relationship,

Adult adam: While I was spinning my web of lies,

Adult adam: While I was trying to keep dana from knowing I loved her,

Adult adam: While I was trying to keep my cool,

Adult adam: While my dad and erica were using love as a weapon,

Adult adam: While my dad had hit an all time low,

Adult adam: While my dad had intended to teach erica and barry a lesson,

Adult adam: While my dad was being forced to say "I love you,"

Adult adam: While my dad was feeling the pain of my blade,

Adult adam: While my dad was heading back to deal with my mom,

Adult adam: While my dad was sticking to his guns,

Adult adam: While my dad was trying to keep his cool with his brother,

Adult adam: While my disgruntled teacher was shutting down my mom,

Adult adam: While my mom had found common ground with barry and erica,

Adult adam: While my mom had realized just how much she hurt erica,

Adult adam: While my mom was feeling duped,

Adult adam: While my mom was feeling overshadowed by pork dumplings,

Adult adam: While my mom was forcing erica to do the musical,

Adult adam: While my mom was living her wildest dreams,

Adult adam: While my mom was putting a stop to the game she hated,

Adult adam: While my mother couldn't wait to renew her vows,

Adult adam: While my social life was being dismantled,

Adult adam: While pops and my mom needed a new plan

Adult adam: While the reality of who pop pop was finally sunk in,

Adult adam: Who was I to argue with beverly goldberg?

Adult adam: With that, my dad became the pusher...

Adult adam: Yeah, every family shows their love in crazy ways.

Adult adam: Yeah, for him, that's as open as it gets.

Adult adam: Yeah, my uncle still annoyed my dad,

Adult adam: Yeah, no. Not happening.

Adult adam: Yeah, this really happened all the time back in the '80s.

Adult adam: Yep, back before google and wikipedia,

Adult adam: Yep, barry didn't just watch gladiators, he lived it.

Adult adam: Yep, barry goldberg was on top of the world,

Adult adam: Yep, barry had become obsessed

Adult adam: Yep, I was once again shoved into the background.

Adult adam: Yep, it was a dark road, all right.

Adult adam: Yep, long before one direction and 'n sync,

Adult adam: Yep, mom logic even managed to win over

Adult adam: Yep, my dad got it from somewhere.

Adult adam: Yep, my dad had a very strict rule.

Adult adam: Yep, my sister had a gift for making our lives a living hell.

Adult adam: Yep, the '80s was a simpler time,

Adult adam: Yep, the tiniest of arguments could last months.

Adult adam: Yep, we constantly fought about

Adult adam: Yep, with a little help from me and apple ii plus,

Adult adam: Yep. Erica realized our dad was right.

Adult adam: Yep. I brilliantly played my dad to get a sword.

Adult adam: Yep. My dad and I played video games together,

Adult adam: Yep. No game whatsoever.

Adult adam: Yes way. (choir vocalizes)

Adult adam: You may wonder, if we told

Adult adam: Yup, my dad was discovering the highs of true friendship.

After 25 years, the man cries at a puppet.

After a while, it's better to accept the way things are

After lainey asks me to the darryl dawkins dance this Friday.

After showing that tape,

After the debate, erica thought my mom was done with her war on drugs.

After tonight, dana will never want to see me again anyway.

After years of one sided torture,

After your nana left, pop pop lived his life

Afterwards, we can grab a bite,

Again with the ghost. There are no ghosts! Sure.

Again, mom logic.

Again, nothing.

Again, that was a dream.

Again, we have no pudding

Again, we rest our case.

Again, you're the one sitting.

Again.

Against accountants and dental hygienists in feats of strength.

Against the wall and broke it.

Agreed.

Agreed. Fine with me.

Ah, ah, my eyes, my beautiful deep brown eyes! Help me!

Ah, boo berry.

Ah, don't sweat it.

Ah, geez, all right. Just don't let me see it again.

Ah, I like how some of you are going forwards

Ah, oh, yeah.

Ah, paco. How'd we do?

Ah, please.

Ah, puberty.

Ah, she's good.

Ah, yeah, she ain't gonna get in.

Ah! (laughs)

Ah! Trick or treat, baby.

Ah.

Ahh. Back for more?

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Ahhh! He could be seriously hurt right now!

Ahhh! I feel nothing!

Ahhh! I hate this!

Ahhh! I wasn't ready!

Ahhh! I wasn't ready! (groans)

Ahhh.

Ahhh.

Aim for a cigarette butt and make a game of it.

Al: Yeah, kiddo!

Albert! Turn it off! (woman screams)

Alf eating his first cat.

All day, every day, on the tour bus, in hotels,

All gamblers eventually lose.

All he cares about are sports and bread products.

All he did was turn himself into a real public enemy.

All he wanted to do was get home.

All hot and crackling.

All I did was sleep with the boss's wife

All I got to do is his math homework for the rest of year.

All I have to do is give him $100,

All I knew was that as long as my grandfather

All I know is that when I do get married,

All I know is, there's a good chance

All I saw was a magic frogman

All I've cared about is boys and clothes

All is right with the world.

All it took was ruining a man's life.

All my boys under one roof! It's happening!

All my friends are gonna think this is super lame.

All my games.

All my life, I have been washing my body

All of my desserts at lunch until we graduate.

All of that applies to me, too.

All of this is unacceptable!

All right, adam and boy whose name I can't remember.

All right, all right.

All right, and we're rolling.

All right, batter up.

All right, fine, but you can't expect me to get rid of this.

All right, first question...

All right, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this.

All right, if you are wearing a wire

All right, let me answer that question with this question.

All right, let's do this.

All right, let's get this party started!

All right, let's see here.

All right, let's take a walk, shall we?

All right, party's over. Give me your fake I.D.

All right, people, impromptu drug search!

All right, show's over! My office! (erica screams)

All right, smile. And three, two, one.

All right, that's everything.

All right, then.

All right, this conversation's been

All right, we need to take a stand and drive away.

All right, you run after them, I'll go get the car keys.

All right, you're free to go.

All right! Well, all we need is a cast.

All right.

All right. (blows whistle)

All right. Good talk.

All right. I'm gonna tell you a secret.

All right. Listen.

All right. So, you and me, we don't back down.

All right. You get the eggs,

All righty. (chuckles)

All sales are final.

All she wanted was to be a ballerina.

All thanks to the watchful eye of principal earl ball.

All that work I put in, and it was for nothing.

All the guys at school are turning into grown men,

All the kids at school who call me a nerd

All the magic you need is right in here.

All the way down to that weird church.

All their landscaping needs.

All they really want is to find each single person

All think you suck, but, I'll make it happen.

All this crap has got to go!

All this embarrassing stuff to each other,