The Boondocks (2005) - Season 2 Edit

A A soda?

A 35 year old Wal Mart employee,

A bad guy?

A different version of the word, ending in "ga,"

A doorbell with real bitches singing the notes.

A dream of creating a network that would accomplish

A fake protest? Granddad,

A fraternity of bananas up a tree.

A full time job is a full time job.

A gay grandson, huh?

A ha! The proof is in the pudding.

A half season contract with Riley.

A HAZMAT suit.

A job application.

A job application.

A lifestyle that you're attracted to.

A little chest bump action

A little country, maybe, you know.

A little help on that one.

A little hook shot and nothing.

A little lucky shot there by Billy Mathews and Again.

A little more off the sides, please.

A living room

A lot of crazy things are being said right now about you.

A lot of folks didn't make it out at all.

A lot of people don't know

A member of the Lethal Interjection crew

A monkey in lipstick and a wig.

A new house in the suburbs

A ****a moment is when the mind

A ****a's nuts in your face?

A one way ticket to "Get the hell

A piece of chicken? Anything.

A Pimp Named Slickback don't do shit for the homeys.

A Pimp Named Slickback will put a lot of things over a ho.

A retainer of $2500.

A scandalous ho is good for.

A second glass on your anniversary.

A show? You sold me out for a show?

A terrible, awful human being

A turkey sandwich with just tomato, guaranteed.

A ugly lie!

A vagina and a coochie. Oh, that's a conjunction.

A week from now. Mm hm. Three o'clock.

A whip, a noose, a nightstick, a branding iron.

A white doctor is 99.9 percent reliable

A whole big fucking thing, huh?

A whole weekend with a complete stranger?

A whopping one in 12 black men in poor neighborhoods

A Woodcrest Youth Basketball Association team,

A work ethic?

A youth walked up to me and said:

A.k.a. Young Reezy, doing it Godzilla big

A'ight. What if I just go over there

Ables.

About a half a million.

About progressive politics and all that,

About stealing movies.

About the mansion and the white women.

About the plan to escape with Catcher.

About this bitch you have an unhealthy dependency on.

About Thugnificent and embarrass him.

About to be talking bad about me.

About what is appropriate to say

About what you talking about.

About your violated rectum.

Absolutely. Splurge. It's like the rappers say:

Accused of using the N word.

Activist, presidential candidate

Actually, we spent all our money on the Vin Diesel show.

Addiction to a bitch can fuck with your friends,

After desegregation.

After desegregation.

After expending his manly seed...

After that, I had one terrible relationship after another.

Again?

Again? Enough of

Against teachers using the "N word,"

Against the black race.

Against the movie theater industry

Agh!

Ah Huh?

Ah What?

Ah, but it is Huey Freeman

Ah, come on, Granddad.

Ah, come on, Granddad. Oh, no.

Ah, look at that ****a go again.

Ah, man, my bad.

Ah, man.

Ah, man. I talk to Gangstalicious all the time.

Ah, man. It's an old dude with his shirt off.

Ah, shit. The ****a's here.

Ah, still, man, the new single ain't moving.

Ah, this is bullshit.

Ah, what's the point? What's the point in living?

Ah, yeah.

Ah, yes, the human family.

Ah, you ****as ain't shit!

Ah!

Ah! Hell ain't shit.

Ah! You baldheaded devil monks

Ah! You cold as ice, Reezy.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Here it is.

Ah. My chin You see that?

Ah. My chin You see that?

Ah. Now, there she is.

Ah. Ow. Hey.

Ah. Racism.

Ah. That bitch must have lost her mind.

Ah. There's no way.

Ah. What can I do?

Ah. Why wouldn't they wanna talk to the police?

Ah...

Ah...

Aha! A damn lie.

Aha! It's you! You did this to me.

Ahem. Now, see,

Ahem. Well, I I said, um...

Ahh!

Ahh! God, that stings!

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

AIDS, and everything else bad.

Ain't got but two or three shows on TV to identify with.

Ain't like playing against furniture, is it?

Ain't never do no shit like that

Ain't no money in trying to save the world

Ain't no surprise to me.

Ain't nobody catch no beat down.

Ain't nobody got one of these:

Ain't nobody told you to crusade against BET.

Ain't nothing wrong with being black.

Ain't nothing wrong with that. But when they walk away from me,

Ain't showed up yet?

Ain't that right, gang?

Ain't that the biggest ripoff you ever heard?

Ain't this a bitch?

Ain't this a bitch? Some old bullshit.

Ain't worth living. So go back in there, girl,

Ain't you hungry yet?

Ain't you sick of the white man?

All aboard. Whoo whoo!

All for some white girl who left you for an R&B dancing ass,

All he saw when he looked at me was a black ******.

All I know is they better not stop this war in Iraq,

All I know is you drove all them hours

All I'm saying is, you stop being a victim,

All inclusive vacation packages.

All on old Cousin Jericho. How about that, huh?

All right now, we got some models.

All right, Billy, no more freebies.

All right, boy, so you had a bad dream.

All right, buddy? Heh. Okay.

All right, come on, ******. Let's go. I been waiting.

All right, fine.

All right, folks, we are back in the thick of it now.

All right, Granddad, dang. You making me uncomfortable.

All right, here we go.

All right, let's go. Game on.

All right, man, so I'll call you later.

All right, Thugnificent.

All right! All right! You can stay!

All right.

All right. How about, your mama's so fat

All right. Next stop: reality.

All right. Thanks, 'Licious.

All right. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

All rolled into one.

All the beds in this house

All the evidence you could possibly need

All the great prophets embraced the people.

All the greatest basketball players have always been white.

All the hate and envy that I've collected

All the kids is welcome, motherfucker.

All the lights on.

All the resources I have available to me

All the years I've been on this Earth,

All whipping his ass.

All you do all day is sing and jump and eat.

All you do is fight, eat and fuck up my house.

ALL: ♪ Do the homey Do the homey ♪

ALL: ♪ Homeys over ho's Homeys over ho's ♪

ALL: ♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ♪

ALL: Bye, Riley.

ALL: Bye.

ALL: Come on, Billy. Yay! Go!

ALL: Gay?

ALL: We gotta go to the bathroom.

ALL: Whoa!

ALL: Yeah.

Also known as Wonder Cheeks,

Also would have been a good idea, but...

Although the colonel never claimed him."

Always waiting for me to make a mistake.

An hour into the movie,

An intervention? Your friends have

An unwritten rule about snitching

Anally ****d.

And And I had a friend named Smokey.

And And the FBI thing.

And And, uh, they think it's a heart attack.

And And, uh, they think it's a heart attack.

And And, Ruckus, you hate black people too.

And Oh, look at them wheels.

And "Don't Trust Them New ****as" is not a spiritual.

And a bottle of Hennessy on the set of a music video.

And a J. Edgar Hoover Elementary teacher

And a new album,

And a whole lot more sympathy towards colored folks,

And about me, and it's very inspirational.

And abusive household.

And act a goddamn fool? I'm about to go on break.

And after he left, that's when I made my move.

And all great white men who have come thereafter,

And all his fans.

And all its top executives commit Japanese ritual suicide.

And all of that.

And all the toilet paper your mama using.

And an apology to me, Reverend Rollo Goodlove,

And apologized and all, so I decided to squash it.

And ask for a dance,

And ask them to join the Neighborhood Watch,

And author of the book Real Spit From Rollo.

And back in two days?

And bagels and shit.

And beat the little shit into the dirt.

And beat you till you decide to talk.

And being a real team player.

And berate women in rap lyrics.

And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And breaks his ankle.

And Brenda Richie had just caught Lionel in bed

And brush up against me.

And burning need to procreate

And by "dirty little secret," I mean the fact that he's gay.

And by "happen," I mean you'll be killed,

And by everything else, I mean her looks. She was fine.

And by.

And columnist Ann Coulter,

And command her to leave with you.

And currently is host of the syndicated public access show

And cuts that cracker's head clean off, ugh, I'm out of here.

And deadly art of the nunchaku?

And destroy the print of Soul Plane.

And did you know that fool parked cars on my yard?

And doing all kinds of silly shit with their hands.

And doing all that old gay shit.

And doing business deals in the fraternities.

And don't come up here complaining and shit.

And don't nobody even talk about it anymore.

And don't you ever forget it.

And don't you worry, when this FEMA check comes in,

And drown both your little asses.

And end up just as ignorant as when they came in.

And enjoy everything that life has to offer. "

And ever since then, I wanted to live that moment.

And exactly when did you become a relationship counselor?

And fashion is really, really, really gay.

And feel the house shake like a earthquake.

And Fidel.

And finally tonight, Reverend Rollo Goodlove,

And finally, by Robert Freeman and his grandchildren.

And finally, we demand that the Freeman family

And for 2000 years, they called Mary Magdalene a prostitute.

And for no reason? Man, we been good neighbors.

And free all your friends and kinfolk.

And fucks up your kicks, or hits your car or some shit.

And galoshes to go in there.

And get molested by a nasty white man.

And get on the food stamps.

And get paid a whole heap of money.

And get that money,

And get the hell up out of here, bitches.

And get to know one another?

And gets more ho's than you, ****a?

And give him a pound, and be like:

And go upside your head.

And God happens to be the one that told me to torture you,

And Granddad's worried about a date.

And he don't deserve this.

And he gonna send you home early?

And he got that sharp sense of humor.

And he just dissed you like that?

And he was no match for the temptations of Thelma,

And he was your great

And he's already apologized.

And he's demanding that we...

And help fight for our freedom.

And here comes this barrage of insults.

And here we have the Gangstalicious super long tee.

And hookers, and stuff like that.

And how bad it is to be you

And how often do you have a problem with faculty saying

And how would you know?

And how you doing, Abdul?

And I also have a talk show on PBS.

And I applaud him for putting conviction over profit.

And I believe in investing in myself.

And I can say...white man shit

And I confronted him.

And I don't remember you buying no ticket,

And I dreamed he kissed another man.

And I got the possessed ****a in my bed.

And I had a gun.

And I just went over there and met the guys.

And I know you share that same sentiment.

And I like to cook, mostly pork.

And I live across the street.

And I mean anywhere.

And I said, "Great. Fire them." Why?

And I sent him to hell where he belongs

And I started thinking to myself:

And I understand you have two misguided young brothers

And I want some real simple answers.

And I was having, like, crazy dreams,

And I was his biggest fan.

And I was just stunned, and I said,

And I would love for you to come and stand with us.

And I'll tell you why.

And I'm a join the gang. I got a letter saying

And I'm grown up, and I say it's okay.

And I'm holding it down for all the young G's.

And I'm in charge of the birthday party.

And I'm not able to do that.

And I'm proud to call myself your ally.

And I'm taking y'all with me

And if I hear that song again, I'm cuttin' both your balls off.

And if the ****a don't have the chain,

And if you do, then you're a sambo and a coon.

And in his face.

And in order to save them kids, I gotta reach them kids. Mm.

And in the present, that shit looks ridiculous.

And it doesn't look like he was talking politics.

And it looks like it's little Billy Mathews.

And it reads:

And it was all your fault, Granddad.

And it wasn't your daddy.

And it'll be your turn to shine, but until then,

And it's got my main man,

And it's hard. It's hard work, Huey.

And it's my honor to speak with you.

And it's right on time.

And it's written by me,

And jump up and down, barking like dogs"?

And just so you know,

And just tried to kill us.

And keep providing for him, Lord,

And keep your job. That's a damn shame.

And know exactly what your makeup is.

And later,

And let go of the past.

And let me go.

And let old Uncle Ruckus

And let that ho stargaze from outside.

And let's all of us reach out to all our other neighbors

And let's make The Uncle Ruckus Show happen.

And let's remember that the victim is a young child.

And lived a miserable life as a free man in Boston.

And look. I was right.

And love.

And make sure you pee.

And manager, thank you

And master these nuts in your mouth, ****a.

And maybe a deer.

And my first thought wasn't,

And my son Nique and his pregnant girlfriend,

And new sheets. I ain't Jay Z.

And ****a monkey shuffle somewhere else.

And nobody would notice.

And none of them crazy metaphors:

And not love these ho's, huh?

And not only did they shoot at us,

And Notting Hill.

And now I'm telling you, the clothing line's jumping off.

And now, doctor,

And old Thelma was smitten. Hee!

And once you let go of the past,

And one day hopes to spread his philosophy

And one day I had enough.

And one of the great pleasures of my day

And ordered to take sensitivity training.

And perhaps you're not providing enough excitement for her.

And physical damage from this.

And pick the name of the team.

And pink is definitely the in color for this season.

And pink is definitely the in color for this season.

And play it back when the book come out

And play it like you got some sense.

And prison culture is really, really gay.

And probably should've been shot,

And putting the smack down on these bitch ass ****as.

And Reverend Goodlove who'll soon be doing the dying.

And ride out with that ****a.

And rides on 24 inch chrome.

And Riley wasn't talking.

And said he put me on the list for the show tonight. Yeah!

And Sarah's acting all crazy over an usher?

And saying this ridiculous shit? Heh.

And sentenced to a month in jail.

And she probably a man. Shut up.

And shot at you?

And Skillet Sensations while they eatin' lobster.

And so did this movie.

And so was born the legend of Catcher Freeman.

And so, sweetie, that's why Daddy is

And some Johnny Mathis.

And speaking of being ahead,

And speaking of ho's,

And stacks more paper

And star of the upcoming BET sitcom, My Dad Rollo.

And start talking to a sister

And stealing from desperate old men.

And stop playin' with me.

And take that lie with me to the grave.

And tasted success early

And tell 'em to come over and get bucked naked?

And tell you your exact ethnic makeup.

And Tha Pound tonight.

And that black ****** came and stole our press

And that front wheel be up off the ground,

And that makes it cool. "

And that name was Freeman.

And that, colored folks,

And that's

And that's exactly what "****a" is.

And that's not just around here, that's the whole world.

And that's what you're into

And that's where we made our mistake.

And that's why I'm pushing for a constitutional amendment

And the African male is by far the most savagely cunning

And the bathroom stink. Clean the fucking bathroom!

And the best part is,

And the best part is, this don't cost you a dime.

And the check is on the way.

And the dungarees with his name

And The Liberals Who Smell Like Them.

And the money for the record label I started in the basement.

And the next thing you know, ****as is beefing,

And the ****a get mad

And the only people who suffer

And the orange is your new health care plan.

And the progress we've made in the freedom struggle

And the proud Scottish people.

And the same goes for brothers,

And the writers give us fantastic material.

And their sexually explicit videos,

And then ask for your shit all after the fact.

And then I grabbed myself a brick

And then I seen 'em take a dump on the dude.

And then people come along and steal all that hard work

And then we gonna be free?

And then you can't grow nothing.

And then, like, when I pop a wheelie,

And there is talk, get this,

And there was that moment at the end,

And there was that summer I dated Jim Brown

And they all lived, more or less,

And they come there and they pray to you every day.

And they shut down the whole place.

And they won.

And they work so very hard every day,

And this bitch is Debbie.

And this is how you repay me?

And this is where I put the rabbit ears behind his head.

And this motherfucker's acting like he hurt and shit.

And this one here is for George Bush the first.

And this, sir, is an intervention.

And to add insult to injury, it didn't even work.

And to spread ignorance and chaos

And told them what you did for us.

And torture him until he proposes.

And touching the white girl, ho ho, now, that's a lynching.

And turn yourself in for child abuse?

And turned him into the greatest slave hunter who ever lived.

And turns out they're not so bad.

And two shades from being white,

And unless the bitch is a Martian,

And waiting till after your birthday to tell.

And we all know you guys have had it rough,

And we are attracted to things of class.

And we are hopeful to having a resolution shortly.

And we could use your support

And we definitely intend to make them pay, damn it.

And we get on a track with him,

And we got incredible hulks, ****a.

And we not doing it for the females,

And we'll have two dozen protesters

And we're going now.

And we've got our final approval,

And went into the house

And went into the house at 8:15?

And what asshole put commercials in movies?

And what do ****as do in college anyway?

And what do you know about this woman?

And what does that stand for?

And what is not appropriate to say.

And what was it about you

And what you gonna say to the cops?

And what's her name.

And what's your plan, house ****a?

And when he reads it, he's gonna know

And when were they planning such treachery?

And with enough of it, we can change the world.

And work through problems with your homey,

And y'all are making me homesick.

And you can help me fix it?

And you can reach these ho's

And you can't kidnap people just because they don't like you.

And you didn't want to see me again, like the others.

And you don't have to worry about

And you fired everyone that could read.

And you guys said:

And you had to get on food stamps?

And you have hurt their feelings.

And you know what's crazy?

And you never was a member of G Unit.

And you strip the soil of its nutrients,

And you wants to fuck it up with work?

And you was a red bone, mmm.

And you're gonna be black tomorrow.

And you're her 3 millionth.

And you're okay with his lifestyle?

And you're sure this is what she looks like?

And, brother Huey, laughter is that sweet, sweet honey.

And, Riley, you know, I just wanted to say, you know

And, uh, I do a little Tae Bo myself.

And, uh, my pride is sucked away.

And, uh, thumbera,

And, uh, virtually nothing else.

And, uh, we also demand that the offending teacher

And, uh, you know, this is my turf over here,

Ann don't play that shit.

ANNOUNCER [ON PA]: Folks, we are getting underway.

ANNOUNCER [YAWNING]: This is He's still

ANNOUNCER:

ANNOUNCER:

ANNOUNCER:

ANNOUNCER:

ANNOUNCER:

ANNOUNCER:

ANNOUNCER: And at shooting guard,

ANNOUNCER: And now, ladies and gentlemen,

ANNOUNCER: In a world of unspeakable brutality...

ANNOUNCER: Last season on The Boondocks:

ANNOUNCER: Man, check out how Young Reezy

ANNOUNCER: What's good? What's really good?

Another victory of the common man

Antioxidants.

Any accidental great grandkids. Huh?

Any monkey can do them tricks. You need to learn the basics.

Any more of our money.

Any of y'all need a coaster?

Anyone who wants to see a shitty black version

Anything about the break ins.

Anything about what you told me.

Anything at all that I could do, anything to help.

Anything else?

Anyway, Granddad got his car back, and that was that.

Anyway, he used to pick on anybody.

Anyway, I came to talk to you about the uniforms.

Anyway, I had to call and share with you my support

Anyway, like I said, girl,

Anyway, Riley, what do you think?

Anyway, season just got underway,

Anyway, the great great great

Anyway, the school board pay you yet?

Anyway, TiVo this, if you have the TiVo,

Are black children.

Are culturally inclined against snitching.

Are ****as and ****a moments.

Are there any questions?

Are there other ways to make money?

Are trying to swarm on a ****a, huh?

Are very sexy,

Are we allowed to bring in food?

Are we supposed to do, Goodlove?

Are you a natural blond? Oh. Oh, you are so funny.

Are you doing the music video thing again?

Are you even allowed to do it big?

Are you going on a hunger strike with me?

Are you kidding? I'm having a great time.

Are you mad 'cause your Katrina welfare check

Are you serious?

Are you sure I shouldn't just blow myself up?

Are you sure this is legal?

Are you sure you like it? 'Cause if you wanna be down

Are you talking about who's doing the break ins?

Around here is some more kids.

Around the right side of his opponent

As a black man could be.

As a black man, huh?

As a hoodlum, Ann. I don't appreciate it.

As a way to stimulate sales for Wuncler's Security service,

As Air Marshal 50 Cent.

As black African shit.

As Catcha lay passed out,

As hard as removing the stank from a hunk of shit.

As long as he's black and breathing,

As much as a young brother out there in the gang

As she goes around him once again, Riley, defending

As soon as Catcher Freeman rides through here with his brigade

As soon as I get back... from Cuba.

As you can see here, I enjoy building small shrines

As you know, we're starting BET Animation.

As you know, we're starting BET Animation.

As your two little

Ask the question, Miss Von Hausen.

Ask yourself Be honest.

Ass.

Assalamu alaikam.

Assuming he ever came back at all.

At 9:15?

At all. So I was just checking to see

At any time, spelled any way,

At J. Edgar Hoover Elementary School.

At least let me show it to him before you kill him.

At school they said

At the House of Cheeks strip club.

At the Woodcrest Chateau Hotel.

At, like, a dozen dudes as they reload,

Attention, please, passengers.

Attributed to the beef, have broke out,

Author of Fucking Camel Jockeys

Authorities don't yet know

Avoid conversation with the ****a.

Aw.

Back at the Neighborhood Watch,

Back in my day, we fought with our hands.

Back in the day, when a white man called you a ******,

Back into the theater and enjoy Soul Plane 2.

Back when I was in the drug game.

Ball's being passed to Billy Mathews,

Ballin'!

BARBER: ****a, just look at Iraq.

Barring an unforeseen catastrophe,

Be compensated for their extreme distress

Be happy. Your brother was called a ****** by a white man.

Be somebody baby daddy?

Be terminated immediately

Be that as it may,

Be the only person to discover their roots, you know?

Beating him senseless with a nine iron,

Beautiful arc on that ball.

Became a community activist in the '80s,

Because all these ****as is gay.

Because all these ****as is gay.

Because Daddy says

Because he stacks paper to the ceiling

Because he stood up to some foul mouthed gang member?

Because he's white,

Because he's white,

Because I am a licensed zoologist.

Because I am free."

Because I don't work at the movie theater, that's why.

Because if it's not evil, then,

Because it irritates my fucking eczema!

Because it is getting expensive. I mean, it's your money.

Because it looks like your thing could fly out

Because it's entertaining?

Because it's time to take BET in a new direction.

Because ****as have gotten used to it, that's why.

Because nobody ever called me a ****** before.

Because of his skin, he's being persecuted

Because of his skin, he's being persecuted

Because of the types of stereos or something.

Because once you embrace failure,

Because she can stay if you want, but in 20 minutes

Because that's what I've been trained to do.

Because they don't know that I am currently living

Because they know there's a rich American in the room.

Because we always tell the kids that that ain't the way.

Because we're all cousins and brothers and sisters

Because what you call success,

Because you don't practice.

Because you had the big old thighs.

Because you went to Harvard.

Become a bunch of damn tattletales

Before he got in my class.

Before I beat your monkey ass up again.

Before I shoot this fucking kid.

Before they started going to school with ****as.

Before this gets outta hand.

Before Thugnificent finds out.

Before you are a member of the team,

Behind the "Stop Snitching" movement,

Behind the head catch, yeah.

Being a White Lotus master.

Being entered repeatedly by another man.

Being on Cribs and all.

Being the driving force

Believe me. Oh, glory.

Bent over a table with his pants around his ankles,

Bernard lived, but when he refused

Besides, I packs the heat.

Besides, she was about to meet Catcher for the first time.

Besides, there's a reason

BET is out to destroy black people.

BET sucks.

BET! Boom bye ya!

BET! Boom bye ya.

BET.

Better known as Massa Colonel.

Bettering her life and voter registration,

Between a man and a bitch

Between myself and my brother Riley

Big ****a and Crazy Bitch.

Big ****a, Crazy Bitch,

Big Tank, please make it hot, player.

Big, soft, nasty lips on me?

Billy Blanks always says: "Take control of your life.

Billy Mathews, out of nowhere,

Bin Laden ain't mad at me is he? Man, they got the car.

Bitch ass ****a!

Bitch is hittin' you. All right, lady.

Bitch, don't start with that

Bitch, get your behind...

Bitch, this all you got?

Bitch, this chicken is cold.

Bitch, where you at?

Bitch. Get your ass in the car.

Bitches like this shit, man.

Black doctor is an oxymoron.

Black Entertainment

Black Evil Television.

Black fraternities should have an African name.

Black man can't get nowhere

Black women just crazy.

Boarding pass and ID.

Boarding pass and ID.

Boarding pass and ID.

Bob, I'm in Woodcrest,

Bob, what Rollo Goodlove didn't know

Bodies start moving and sweating,

Boo hoo hoo, ****a.

Boo! That movie sucked.

Boogie, Boogie, Boogie.

Borrow my copy of Al Green's Live in Tokyo.

Both of us? I'm afraid so.

Both of us? I'm afraid so.

Both of you shut up. They'll stay.

BOTH: No!

BOTH: No!

BOTH: Wolves?

Bottles.

Bowling alley, with Jacuzzis and silk sheets.

BOY 2: Uh oh.

Boy, don't nobody listen to you.

Boy, get over here and take this picture.