Magic Mike (2012) Edit

A chip shot away. Fuck, yeah.

A year ago, he basically ruined it by getting...

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Michael Lane.

Adam was...

Adam, it's for you.

ADAM: Brooke!

ADAM: Can you do me a favor and drop me off at my car tonight?

ADAM: Dallas gave me that cut in Miami, whoo!

ADAM: Dude. You're a fucking stripper? MIKE: Ha ha ha.

ADAM: Get the fuck off me.

ADAM: Heh, hey.

ADAM: Hey, man.

ADAM: Hey, uh, what about ?

ADAM: Hi, Herman.

ADAM: Hi, sis. Hi.

ADAM: I don't know what the fuck it is.

ADAM: I fucking love you.

ADAM: Is it mine? Fuck, yeah, it's mine.

ADAM: It's gone gone.

ADAM: Me? Oh, little friend.

ADAM: My backpack. We have to go back. MIKE: Fuck your backpack.

ADAM: No, you don't understand. It has my fucking pills.

ADAM: Oh.

ADAM: Shit, dude. MIKE: You're lucky we got out of there.

ADAM: Sorry, man. These are the only shoes I got.

ADAM: That pack you gave me? TOBIAS: Mm.

ADAM: Uh, yeah. Strong safety.

ADAM: We'll figure it out. It's fine.

ADAM: What do you think?

ADAM: What's that?

ADAM: Who is that?

ADAM: Why do you have that?

ADAM: Yeah. MIKE: Go talk to her.

ADAM: You fucking joking? I'm not fucking joking. Check them out.

Adam?

Adam. Adam.

Adam. Wake up. Adam, we have to go.

Ah, Big Dick, keep it fucking hanging low.

Ah, heh, do me a favor, go up there and do it for 14 bucks an hour.

Ah, I feel like I owe you. I can throw you 100 bucks...

Ah, um, look, I'm not going to Miami.

Ah, who's this?

Ah.

Ain't no matter How much you love me for sure

Ain't that all right? Don't worry about it. Rule number one.

Ain't time for a fucking fag joke in here, boy. I'm talking about money.

All right, all right, all right, hey, ah.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, back the fuck up.

All right, come here.

All right, I ain't got that much time, so I'm calling in my favor, all right?

All right, now I got an announcement to make.

All right, so we got your first little piece of business... bam.

All right?

All right?

All right? That's it. That's all you got to do.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. Easy, rattlesnake.

All right. Props.

All right. The show starts in 45 minutes. You can make it in 45 minutes?

All the way. Let's go. Kid's in, Mike's out.

All, uh, I'm asking for is a good deal.

ALL: Anything you want, he won't forbid

ALL: Ho, ho, ho, ho.

ALL: I do know and I've been told

ALL: Let's give it up for the Virgin Kid

ALL: Mikey's got a cock you know you gonna love

ALL: One, two

ALL: What he got down low fits like a glove

ALL: Yeah.

ALL: Yes. RICHIE: Amen.

Am I Magic Mike right now talking to you?

America. People. Stupid.

And Adam too.

And as you can see, he was due today.

And finally....

And I don't see a cop in sight.

And I read this book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

And I'm having a fucking ball.

And if I'm not mistaken, that says 21, right?

And now I can't reach him.

And questions are off limits, I guess?

And that is: To my best friend.

And that was really a lot of money.

And then I'm a certified shrink. Six weeks. That's right.

And there ain't nothin' I can do about it That's fo' sho

And to bright futures.

And we're going to have a fucking ball in Miami, man.

And what the fuck would that do? He doesn't have it.

And you put on your post that you'd tiled houses before?

Any time a girl tells you her name starts with a flower...

Anything you want, he won't forbid

Anything.

Anything. Everything. But custom, one of a kind stuff.

Are you fucking with me right now?

Are you kidding me? Keep your money. It's fine.

Are you ready? Dallas gave me the go ahead on getting you suited up. You ready?

Are you shaving your fucking legs?

Aren't you supposed to be at the show?

As I was explaining to him, the businesses that I manage deal exclusively in cash.

Be creative.

Because I do.

Because it protects it. I'm going to rip it off when I'm ready to sell it.

Because you can't.

Behavior analysis.

Besides, you know how much I love to eat.

Big Dick, they are still devastated by your cock.

Both ways this time, though, right?

Bringing you some fresher shit. Seeing as I'm getting equity and all.

Brooke, let me please carry him out. Stop.

Brooke, uh, Joanna.

BROOKE: A sorority?

BROOKE: Adam, I need to fucking talk to you.

BROOKE: Adam. God.

BROOKE: For work? Adam, don't fucking lie to me, man.

BROOKE: Heh. MIKE: We gotta stop fighting.

BROOKE: Hey, brother bear.

BROOKE: Hey.

BROOKE: I want to talk to you, man. Get the fuck out.

BROOKE: Is it yours?

BROOKE: Is that my razor?

BROOKE: It's very you.

BROOKE: Mike, hello.

BROOKE: Mike.

BROOKE: Mike. All right. Hold on.

BROOKE: No, I'm sorry. I'm going to dinner.

BROOKE: Oh, God, brother.

BROOKE: Oh.

BROOKE: Thank you. MIKE: He's just stoned out of his mind.

BROOKE: Watch yourself. MIKE: All right, heh.

BROOKE: Where is he?

BROOKE: Yeah. MIKE: All right. I'll see you later.

BROOKE: You can't get the door?

BROOKE: You don't believe in school at all?

But after that it's gonna be all green lights.

But good luck to you.

But I think I see a lot of lawbreakers up in this house tonight.

But I'm glad you made that point. It's very insightful, actually.

But I'm going to be here.

But I'm, uh, an entrepreneur, though. I, uh, manage a few businesses.

But the market hasn't really hit the sweet spot yet.

But the whole endgame is the custom furniture business I'm trying to start.

But tonight you took a chance and it paid off. I like that.

But you don't.

But you're not a 12 year old in the locker room. You are the man.

By not telling him what to do? No. I just don't have a choice.

Bye.

Bye.

Can I come with you?

Can I get an amen on that?

Can I, uh, um...?

Can you accompany me in here, please?

Can you please spread your legs for me, ma'am?

Can you throw me, uh, that shirt right there?

Can you touch this?

Can you touch this?

Can't have a 19 year old on the fucking street.

CARLA: Are you serious? Wow. MIKE: As a fucking heart attack.

Check them out, man.

Chicks are gonna go fucking crazy over this, man.

Citrus Springs.

Come on in.

Come on, Kid. It's all right.

Come on, man, sit down.

Come on, primo. The guys I'm rolling with, they ain't about fucking paperwork, man.

Come on, you ain't

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come here. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. I'd do anything.

Come on. Let's go. We're going to celebrate.

Come visit anytime in one of our three cool houses, dear.

Congrats, Kid.

Cool.

Couldn't resist the lure of the roofing business?

Craigslist.

Custom furniture? So you must be really good with your hands.

DALLAS [SINGING]: Ladies of Tampa

Dallas be riding again.

DALLAS: ... U I T Y. Say it.

DALLAS: Aaah!

DALLAS: All right, all right, all right.

DALLAS: All right, all right. Let's give it up for the Kid, huh?

DALLAS: All right, ladies. So we know we made fire.

DALLAS: All right? It's not a fucking hobby. This is a serious business I'm running.

DALLAS: Come on. Everybody. Line up, line up, line up.

DALLAS: E Q ... Say it.

DALLAS: Heeey ah!

DALLAS: How old are you?

DALLAS: If everybody can quiet down a second here.

DALLAS: It was fucked up? Sorry?

DALLAS: Ken, nice fucking robot.

DALLAS: Let's fucking get it on right now. Let's go.

DALLAS: Mikey?

DALLAS: Mm.

DALLAS: Motherfucker. What the fuck, man? Tarzan.

DALLAS: Now, that means you too, Tarzan. Come on, big boy...

DALLAS: Richie, that's fucking microsuede, man.

DALLAS: So you got to deal with what you got.

DALLAS: Take this front row table right here, ladies.

DALLAS: Tarzan.

DALLAS: Tsk, Oh, no problem.

DALLAS: Virgin dance the other night. No more.

DALLAS: Well, lookie here what the cat dragged in.

DALLAS: Where the fuck is he?

DALLAS: Whoo!

Despite the hurricane that has soiled our rather bountiful...

DICK: My good friend, Andy. TITO: Ha, ha.

Did you give some Ecstasy to my girl?

Did you just...? I want to clear something up. Did you just take my advice?

Did you play ball?

Did you see it?

Did you see your sister tonight?

Distressed? I'm distressed?

Do whatever Mikey tells you, any of the guys tell you.

Do you want to get some food and talk about it?

Do you want to get some food and talk about it?

Don't fuck with me. You're like my son.

Don't worry, man, you're gonna earn your keep.

Done. Adam, wake the fuck up. Adam, please.

Dude, I don't want to spray your leg.

Dude, it's easy. All you got to do is hand us...

Dude. This has no back.

Either one. It's fine.

Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. Okay?

Entrepreneur/stripper? Stripper/entrepreneur?

Every fucking one of them. Let's go.

Every man keeps every dollar he makes on that stage.

Everybody, this is the Kid. Y'all can thank me later.

Except for you, right?

Eyes on you. You are their vision. So, what do you do?

Feel them. They're so fucking, heh, amazing.

Finished high school, but if I could do it all over again...

Five hundred bones to rub our nuts...

Fourth of July, nuts on your head wake up call, let's go. Come on.

Fuck that mirror like you mean it.

Fuck, dude. Fuck that. Guess what?

Fuck, I don't know, man.

Fuck, man.

Fuck, man. I was nowhere.

Fuck.

Fuck. Damn, that was crazy shit.

Fuck. Look where I was three months ago.

Fuck. Okay, dude. Hey.

Fucking concentrate.

Fucking great.

Fucking Valhalla shit, man, mwah.

Fucking worked.

Gentlemen? Everybody's 21 here?

George, dude, I got one. I'm sorry. I know, I know.

Get him into Ameritrade and shit like that.

Get in the chopper. John Connor, come with me.

Get out of here.

Get out of my head.

Get right here. Move slow. Around.

Get some waffles for you, pancakes, whatever you want.

Get the fuck off me, Mike. I'll fucking kill you. I will fucking kill you.

GIRL: I went to the convention. TITO: Yeah, uh, Robert Kiyosaki.

GIRL: Kiyosaki. TITO: Yeah, that's the guy.

GIRL: That's a great book. TITO: You read that?

GIRLS: Hey.

Give it a sample.

Give me a minute? I want to straighten something out there.

Go bother her. You want to be inside or outside?

Go buy yourself fresh drawers.

Good morning.

Ha, ha. Come on. Let's go. Sandbar party.

Ha, this is so much bullshit.

Hand them these. Tell them they get in free at the door.

Happy birthday

Happy, heh, Birthday, heh, pfft.

Have to pay every one of those back.

He didn't like breakfast food?

He fucking did it too.

He likes you.

He may have something, brother. He's young, good looking....

He put that kiss on her and pouring money out of their hands.

He said you would forego the credit check if I brought in a healthy down payment.

He's 19 years old.

He's breathing. He's fine.

He's coming back, man.

He's going to help us out tonight.

He's gone.

He's starting this new life coaching business...

He's with somebody, though, so, you know, I'd call out.

Heads up.

Heh, hey, baby girl, what are you doing?

Heh, I don't know. I guess I need a new plan.

Heh, I don't know. I guess I need a new plan.

Heh, I'm too fucked up anyway, so....

Heh, it's not my fault. I'm just saying they're not gonna do it.

Heh, it's not my fault. I'm just saying they're not gonna do it.

Heh, uh....

Heh, what are you, a 12 year old in the locker room?

Heh, yeah, um, um....

Heh, yeah, we were actually laughing. I had a pretty good laugh about it.

Heh, you know, if you ever want to go in on a pack with me....

Here. Here.

Hey Juice. Because if you drink the whole bottle, Hey. You'll like it, man.

Hey, fuck off.

Hey, I uh, thanks. Thanks for bringing him back.

Hey, look I just hate to see you doing this.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, what are we gonna do about her?

Hey, you might want to check yourself, old friend.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. I don't have a custom furniture maker man.

Hi, Mike.

Hm, I'm waiting for the bank to make the competitive loans I'm looking for...

Honestly, the list goes on.

Hot damn. It feels good to be back on that fucking horse again.

How about I, uh, come scoop you up? I can bring you a present.

How about you're forgetting 25 percent more genius?

How are we feeling tonight, ladies? Let me hear it one more time. Come on.

How did I get so lucky? The best Fourth of July ever, heh.

How much money did you make tonight?

How'd you get this job, anyways?

How's that going, heh?

Huh, Tarzan. Did you know they made trees tall enough to swing from Tampa...

Huh!

Huh?

I am 21, yes.

I can absolutely understand where you're coming from.

I can fuck who I want to fuck.

I can take you tomorrow morning, though. What time do you have to be at work?

I can try to jump you off if you want, but it's not the battery.

I can walk right out that door. Right now.

I can't find anybody to take these. Y'all want them?

I can't thank you enough.

I can't? Okay.

I could make it worth your while.

I didn't He did that himself.

I didn't mean to do that. I didn't want to fuck it up. I promised...

I don't care what your preferences are.

I don't care. Have you never talked to a girl before? Just go talk to her.

I don't even fucking care about a fucking grand. Who cares?

I don't know if he lost it, or if he's just being a fucking kid.

I don't know, I can maybe sign over the van...

I don't know, just like get some food?

I don't know, you were standing six feet away from me. You heard me.

I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, I met him at the site today.

I don't think so, one. Two, I read the papers, okay?

I don't think you need that in your life, bro.

I don't want to fucking be some 40 year old stripper.

I fucking love you, man.

I gave that, uh, college thing the college try. Didn't quite work out.

I get it. I don't know how I fit into this whole mix, either.

I get it. That's okay. It's okay.

I got a couple loopholes I got to get through...

I got a nice ham, cheese sandwich....

I got a thing.

I got to let it sink in, man. We're really doing this?

I got you your money.

I guarantee you by the time he's 18, that little fucker's gonna be flush in cash.

I guarantee you that.

I guess. I guess.

I have a very good voice. I do great impressions.

I have money.

I hope I get to meet your kids someday.

I hope you can dance. You still owe me. Come on.

I just can't be around your lifestyle.

I just can't drive tonight. I've been driving all weekend.

I just don't have to be the guy that tells them, uh, you know...

I just need to talk.

I just think that Miami is going to be a bigger, badder version of this.

I know how much that shit meant to you...

I literally was just thinking...

I love waffles. Let's go there.

I love where your head's at. You're focused.

I mean, he doesn't live here anymore.

I mean, I saw the connection between the two of you.

I mean, it's pretty cool that he let me in.

I mean, really, who wants to buy that crap when it falls apart in a year...

I mean, sister.

I mean, the way you dance and the way the women respond to you....

I mean, we do offer relief programs...

I might need to check some IDs, unfortunately.

I need you doing the sailor routine tonight. I got four tables of Navy wives stageside.

I only have one thing to say.

I saw this young man walking down the street about six years ago...

I started cheating in the seventh grade just to entertain myself.

I swear, I thought you were going to shit the bed, but you, heh, actually did it.

I take it you didn't collect.

I talked to your sister as you were dry humping a girl, yes.

I think fuck school altogether.

I think we should be best friends.

I think you're probably fucked.

I think, uh....

I thought he was going to go take a piss and he went out the back door.

I thought you were out of town, like, forever.

I told her. I didn't think she'd fucking come. Jeez.

I told them not to break shit, but they don't work for me.

I told you I was going to take care of him, didn't I?

I want to own something. I want to actually

I want to say thank you about the money.

I was just talking about talking and being friends.

I wasn't talking about you cooking it. He just said you like breakfast food.

I will be as soon as the banks start making the competitive rates and loans.

I would do it, but I don't think they're going to do it, bro.

I would wake up on the beach somewhere just making stuff every day.

I, uh I just came by to

I, uh....

I, uh....

I'd feel bad taking money from you.

I'll always love you more

I'll show you what you're gonna do. Now, let's go to the basics.

I'll take care of him. You should stick around, though.

I'll talk to him. It's fine.

I'm a medical assistant. I process nurses' paperwork.

I'm bringing him home.

I'm getting wasted tonight if we could get a drink.

I'm going to get out of here. You guys are good?

I'm going to go to bed. It's 7 in the morning.

I'm gonna do it for 20 bucks an hour.

I'm gonna do my inventory. If I come up short, I'm coming right to you.

I'm gonna go hit the bathroom.

I'm gonna pay you back every last cent. I want you to know that.

I'm good. Uh, this is, um, Brooke.

I'm just trying to wrap my mind around Adam and this whole mess.

I'm looking at longevity. This is fun for now, I'm not gonna be...

I'm looking for Adam. He's not picking up his phone.

I'm not Am I Magic, uh ?

I'm not a cop, man.

I'm not exactly sure what that is just yet...

I'm not just

I'm not my goddamn job. That's not who

I'm not paying you. Not for these little visits, at least.

I'm not putting that out there. Negative energy.

I'm not sure. I think he's with Nora.

I'm not trying to tell him what to do. I just don't like it.

I'm ready, man. I'm ready, huh.

I'm sorry that I fucked it up.

I'm sorry, that used to be 10.

I'm sorry, what the fuck do you study again?

I'm sorry, who said anything about that?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Are we fucking your reputation up?

I'm sorry. What?

I'm sorry. What's her name?

I'm working on something, but it's not ready yet. It's not ready.

I'm your sister. I love you. I don't judge you.

I've been telling y'all this is going to be a special night for a long time.

I've been trying to, this whole time

If everything goes well and we get these girls jacked up...

If you believe it, good luck to you.

If you could wake up and do the one thing that would make you the happiest....

If you like to get a wee bit crazy, why don't you come down and see the show?

If you want to talk, my door is always open, Mike.

In case that doesn't work out, why don't you come to dinner with me...

In oh many ways you all became my wife

Inside.

Is it dead?

Is this our first fight?

It actually was. You know, I go a few times a week, if you want to come with us.

It is not what it looks like.

It is pretty funny.

It should be noted in there. He said he was going to put it in.

It was a good move, heh.

It was good to see you.

It was nothing. It was fucked up. Sorry.

It worked though, didn't it?

It'll be like brand new.

It's 100 pills. That's 1000 bucks. I think he's good for that, don't you?

It's a little mixture. In, uh, Miami, we call it Hey Juice.

It's a relief program, so

It's competitive pricing. Low overhead.

It's crazy.

It's entrepreneur actually. It's, uh, French.

It's fine. Thank you, though. It was a really sweet gesture. I appreciate it.

It's for work.

It's for work. Okay?

It's getting lame. I want to get out of here.

It's gonna rain. Rain gonna come down and cleanse our soul and wash away the ash.

It's like the initiation. Lord of the Flies. Come on.

It's new. It's gonna stay new if you don't rip off the damn plastic.

It's not gonna happen.

It's not working anymore.

It's okay with me, man. She loves it.

It's the last thing I need for my reputation...

It's time for me to go stare in the mirror anyway.

It's women, money and a good time.

It's....

Jesus Christ, you better have some epic plans...

JOANNA: No. No.

JOANNA: Okay.

JOANNA: That's a cool table. Where'd you get it?

Just do it.

Just find your own way back. I got the keys, right?

Just give it a little Just a little spray on that calf there.

Just tell him what props you need. I'll help him set them up later.

Just try not to forget about the normal people.

Keep that up, you could be making a lot more than door money.

Ken, S&M routine. You up on that? Can you do that?

Ken, the housewives are gonna love you down there.

KEN: Angels or demons?

KEN: Beautiful. NORA: Mmm....

KEN: Good job, man.

KEN: I love you, man. You're such a fucking special soul.

KEN: I said my wife's tits are awesome.

KEN: If you chew it, it'll hit you quicker. WOMAN: Heh.

KEN: It's okay. Go ahead, man.

KEN: My wife's tits are awesome, right?

KEN: We are blessed. They're gonna love you.

KEN: You got them going out there, Mike.

KEN: You're gonna fucking love this one. ADAM: Yeah.

KEN'S WIFE: I love you too.

Kid, you ready for the big time, huh? You ready for the big time?

Kid.

Kim, can you move back for me, please?

Ladies of Tampa

Ladies, meet the Kid. Portia, Ruby.

Ladies, yeah, I'm talkin' to you

Last one, ladies. Can you touch this?

Let's give it up for the last time on this stage.

Let's go get something to eat.

Let's go, heh.

Let's go. Let's go.

Like 10 bucks an hour.

Like 230.

Like a hundred, or a hundred? That's a grand.

Listen, man. I couldn't even have dreamed all this shit up without you.

LIZ: Then we'll be there too.

Look at what she's wearing. She came here tonight to be bothered.

Look at where I am now.

Look, before you say anything...

Look, don't, uh, they just say stupid shit sometimes. Don't let them bother you.

Look, get ready to work, big boy. It ain't gonna be that easy every time.

Look, I've been saving for six years.

Look, that's not even why I came by. I just

Look, we think you got something.

Look, you got to

Ma'am, excuse me. You're going to have to move it down.

Man, we're gonna look back in 20 years. You're gonna be dead, probably...

Maybe we'll come, if your little friend here comes too.

Miami, ah, is looking good.

MIKE [WHISPERING]: I don't know.

Mike lays it out. Tito bringing in the south side with some brown skin.

Mike, I think the question is, do you believe it?

MIKE: Actually, I would, to be totally honest. Ha, ha.

MIKE: All right, all right, all right.

MIKE: Are you a nurse?

MIKE: Come on. We gotta stop fighting like this.

MIKE: Does that mean you were lying? BROOKE: I'm not lying.

MIKE: For real? Six weeks? Yeah.

MIKE: Fuck off. TOBIAS: I'm so sorry, primo.

MIKE: Fuck your pills. You're going to have to eat it.

MIKE: Fuck. BROOKE: Adam.

MIKE: Good evening. You live here? KIM: Yeah.

MIKE: He pulled it out. DALLAS: Yeah. What's his story?

MIKE: Heh, right.

MIKE: Hey, back the fuck up. We got to go. Let's go. Adam, let's go.

MIKE: Hey. Come here.

MIKE: Hi.

MIKE: Hmm....

MIKE: Ho!

MIKE: I ate a Kappa just like this. I ate a Kappa. I ate a Kappa.

MIKE: I love it. TITO: Hey, where's the Kid? Kid. Kid.

MIKE: Is she even home?

MIKE: It's going good? BROOKE: Yeah, it's good. Just, heh, go on.

MIKE: It's just G. It's basically like getting drunk without all the calories.

MIKE: Just don't give him any more shit to sell.

MIKE: Just tell them if they want to get into this...

MIKE: Look at this saggy underwearing, all star right here.

MIKE: Mm hm. Mm hm.

MIKE: Mm hm. DALLAS: That's all you got to say?

MIKE: Motherfucker.

MIKE: My dick. You got them off Craigslist? SAL: Heh.

MIKE: My dick. You got them off Craigslist? SAL: Heh.

MIKE: Nice to meet you, sir. Nice to meet you.

MIKE: No? JOANNA: Psychology.

MIKE: No. I'm sorry, and if I was, what the hell are you going to do about it?

MIKE: No. It's not my style, but, uh, somebody should do it. It's cool.

MIKE: Oh, shit. Yo. Hey.

MIKE: Oh, what are you doing, man? What the fuck are you doing...

MIKE: Okay. Okay.

MIKE: So how pregnant did you get that girl's mouth?

MIKE: Social science, heh?

MIKE: Stop. He's fine, he's breathing.

MIKE: That's a beautiful necklace.

MIKE: That's just some old shit that blew up on a beach after the last hurricane.

MIKE: That's perfect, actually.

MIKE: This is the owner. Jesus. DALLAS: Whoo.

MIKE: Uh....

MIKE: Um....

MIKE: Um....

MIKE: Way cooler.

MIKE: We're gonna get fucked up tonight, right?

MIKE: What do you mean, fuck that? ADAM: I got that equity, baby.

MIKE: What? TOBIAS: Ten grand.

MIKE: What's up, dude? Yeah, we, we My bad. We, uh....

MIKE: What's up?

MIKE: Where is he?

MIKE: Where'd you get them?

MIKE: Wow. I know. People have to pay me now, heh.

MIKE: Yeah. It's cool that he let you in.

MIKE: Yeah. No, for sure.

MIKE: Yeah. That's the point. It's a thong.

MIKE: Yes. Okay. Whoo.

Mike's not interested, but we can go halfsies.

Mikey's gone.

Mm hm, absolutely. And an event management company, a roofing firm, heh.

Mm hm.

Motherfucker. How many fucking times, huh?

Move around, round, round. Get the movements. Breathe.

Mrs. Pres

My cell? Fuck my cell. What are you fucking doing, man?

My sister got it for me, ha, ha from Target, I think.

My sister saw me dance?

Never kiss the girls, Kid. That's Performer 101.

No 20s?

No questions asked, owe me.

No Roy Rogers, no Shirley Temples. Y'all have a great time.

No, I fucking....

No, I was hoping this was all a joke.

No, I'm at, uh I don't know, I'm at this party.

No, it's.... No, it's, heh....

No, man, I love you.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. Is that what he told you? A hundred?

No, no, no. You are coming too. Don't even try.

No, she wasn't.

No, sir, no, ma'am.

No, that's fine. He's starting to act like a real punk.

No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying she's a little uptight.

No, you need to figure it out.

No.

No. I got the fire phobia issue.

No. If you don't want to call it that, no.

No. That's not a commitment.

No. You When you're on stage, it all makes sense.

No. You guys sound like you got a lot to talk about.

Nobody walks on water on my team.

NORA: Angels. KEN: Angels. Okay.

NORA: We'd like to order.

Not as much as I do.

Not putting what out there?

Not the knock off stuff you see in people's kitchens from time to time.

Now get up there, move around.

Now I'm going to tell you why.

Now, I want to go over a few rules with y'all tonight.

Now, let's give it up for the Virgin Kid

Now, Mikey got a pipe you gonna love

Oh, Adam.

Oh, by the way, I got this for you. Uh, just for gas and shit.

Oh, come on.

Oh, fuck, yeah, we're doing this, man. This is our time.

Oh, it's 7 in the morning. I hate fun.

Oh, it's a knock off. That's cool, though. Where did you get this?

Oh, my God, Adam. What the fuck did he take?

Oh, my God, I haven't even told you, heh, what I'm here for. I really apologize.

Oh, my God. Come on, let's do one more. One more, come on.

Oh, nice, dude. Is this one of those retro Wakefield, or is this a Russel Wright?

Oh, no, it didn't bother me.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, wait, wait.

Oh, you're all right, man. You're all right.

Oh, you're not so bad.

Oh.

Okay uh, good talk.

Okay, cool. Just, uh, let him know that I'm looking for him if you see him.

Okay, if you decide you want to share...

Okay, Mom.

Okay, Mom.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right, I'll call you later.

Okay. All right, I'm not exactly....

Okay. All right.

Okay. Maybe we'll come.

Old friend.

On the stage. Thousands of women.

On three, you're going to stick it.

One Pepsi a day. Read the cooler.

One, two, three, stick.

Ooh, aah.

Ooh, aah. Ooh, aah.

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Our feature presentation, the one and only...

Own it. Who's got the cock? You do, they don't.

PAUL: But sometimes people want to, you know...

PAUL: Right. I get it.

Paul?

Pfft, dude, they're never gonna let you in like that.

Please, can you help me with that?

Plus the 50 that I owe you. All right?

Plus, I don't exactly sport fuck my brother's stripper friends.

Probably. That's what strangers do.

Pulled a one on one with that chick.

Quiet down a sec?

Ran into him at Ybor. Those two little pretty ones over there...

Really? Tables and chairs, that kind of thing?

Richie, the, uh, fire breathing gig, huh? You up for that?

RICHIE: Aw, shit. Sorry, bro. DALLAS: It's all right. Thanks.

RICHIE: Ha, ha, just fucking with you. Sit down.

RICHIE: He's met just about every single Russian and American astronaut...

RICHIE: Hey, everybody. Shut the fuck up.

RICHIE: I met this guy....

RICHIE: It was loke 25 percent dancong, 50 percent marketing.

Right here. Michael Lane Custom Furniture Concepts.

Right, ugh.

Right? So you felt it too? What? Just, what?

Right. I mean, it's slightly different when you're doing Medicaid claims...

Right. I, uh, actually...

Right. She was analysizing our behavior, apparently.

Round, round, round. Make this shit count.

SAL: They fucked me and took another gig last minute. So I got these guys.

SAL: Why don't you open it up? ADAM: There's nothing in it.

See?

Seniority don't mean shit around here, man.

She did not look happy. Did you tell her to come?

She does not look like she wants to be bothered.

She has tattoos. You want a drink?

She is actually the Kid's brother.

She is definitely not 21, I'm sorry. What's your birthday?

She studied psychology and she came up to do, uh....

She's cute. What? I don't normally like blonds, but she's really cute.

She's, like, ignoring the whole side of this bar.

Shit. I didn't know if it was, till he hit the floor.

Shut up. I see you, Mike. I fucking see you.

So are you going to open up ?

So can you smile? Can you look at me?

So how much longer you got in, uh, psychology?

So I got us a new recruit.

So I just don't I'm just trying to figure out...

So I'm going to see you again?

So the Kid said something about breakfast.

So the last thing I need is a teenage liability fucking my future up.

So you don't believe anything that I've said to you?

So you're here to help us out?

So, Miami, huh?

So, uh, I don't know, how's school or whatever?

So, uh, yeah. They asked me to wear a fucking tie.

So, what am I supposed to do in there?

So, what do you got in your bag?

So, what kind of rates am I looking at?

So, what the fuck is going on with Miami?

Social studies, or sociology or....

Soldiers, sound off

Someone will finish it, I think.

SORORITY GIRL: No. Good.

SORORITY GIRL: Uh, May 20th, 19....

Sorry, bro.

Sorry? Fuck you, man.

Sorry.

Start right fucking now. Let's make it fucking count.

Stay away from the elephant socks, bro. That's Dallas shit.

Stick it. That right there is like hitting the G spot, every single time.

Sure, cool. Cool.

Sure.

Sure. Sure.

Sweetheart, listen. It's okay. It's fine. Does this look distressed?

Take your clothes off.

Take your hood off. Try to look a little more Tuck your fucking shirt in.

Tall Paul can't say anything anymore. I broke up with him.

TARZAN: Cosmonaut. RICHIE: He's the second one.

TARZAN: Give me the astronaut thing.

TARZAN: I'm just saying you always put up a fight.

TARZAN: One thing about Waffle House pussy is you got to worry about the teeth.

TARZAN: So how do you know Mike?

TARZAN: Whoa, I get it.

Tarzan?

Tell me about being an entrepreneur.

Thank you. Grab one.

Thank you. You too.

Thanks, bro. I owe you.

Thanks, man.

That ain't my money, big boy. That's your money.

That did a good job, didn't it?

That feeling.... That must be a really crazy feeling to be on stage...

That look ashy to you?

That must have been, uh, really enlightening.

That too.

That was dangerous shit you pulled tonight...

That'll work.

That's a quality endorsement, my friend.

That's an easy if, because he will be there.

That's good to know.

That's good. Welcome to the crazy club, Kid.

That's like seven hours from now.

That's not what I do. That's not me. It is what I do, but it's not who I am.

That's the hook, baby. That's the fucking hook.

That's the state of the country, man.

That's what I thought. Put your hands on the wall. Everybody sit.

That's what I'm talking about. All right?

That's who you think ? That isn't fucking

That's why I want to go to Miami.

The company has a policy that we cannot issue loans...

The first man in outer space...

The first one died on reentry.

The first time that you ever walked into my life

The first time that you ever walked into my life

The last time I checked, I think it's the Kid and I's reputation...

The moon is just a chip shot away, brother, heh.

The negative energy. It's bad. It comes back.

The one, the only, your very own, the Cock rocking Kings of Tampa.

The only thing's that distressed is y'all.

The police. How long you been a cop?

The problem is it doesn't open until 6 a.m.

The son which you're gonna pay $20 an hour.

The thing is I only go to one place. It's my favorite place.

Then he can do props, can't he?

There are ways to clear these credit issues up over time, but

There were some fives in there.

There you go, bro.

There you go.

There's one thing you gotta know

These are my tortillas.

They could have been.

They have the best omelets. They know my order. I walk in...

They'd be running around in little rattlesnake diapers and shit.

This is Big Dick Richie, Ken, Tito and Tarzan.

This is Herman.

This is really how we're going to end this? Are you fucking serious?

This is the Kid. Uh, he wrangled, like, nine sorority girls for us tonight...

This is the What can you touch and not touch rules.

This is Tobias. He is our resident DJ.

This is what I do.

This next performer who's coming out...

Three months ago.

Time for some one on one time with the man of your dreams.

TITO: He went back to take a piss. He should be back any second.

TITO: Hey, Mike, yo.

TITO: Hit them with the long arm of love, baby.

TITO: Let's go, we're up.

TITO: Perfect date time.

TITO: Still got it.

TITO: That was the old stuff. Oh, shit.

TITO: Whoo.

Tito. Anything, man. South of the border fucking shit...

Tobias, the Kid. He's gonna be the one...

Tobias, you ready to take yourself to the beach?

TOBIAS; Coño, what happened?

TOBIAS: Hey, what's going on?

TOBIAS: I tried calling your cell, man.

TOBIAS: If you want, I can talk to my guys and we can try to get him another day.

TOBIAS: Look, man, I'm sorry. We're looking for the Kid, okay?

TOBIAS: Mike? Get off of him. Hey.

Tonight. And listen up.

Tsk, thank you. That's actually the idea. Mike's Custom Furniture Concepts.

Tsk, uh, yeah, probably. I don't know. I'll, uh, call you.

Two thirty? That's good, man.

Uh, ahem.

Uh, apparently the knock off place.

Uh, but, uh, you know, whatever. Sucks.

Uh, here's to, um, our children. May they have rich fucking parents, heh.

Uh, hey, do you know who's spinning tonight?

Uh, I have, uh, six weeks until I'm....

Uh, it's a little under $2500. Uh, that's 400 better than last week.

Uh, let's talk about something else, you know.

Uh, me, please?

Uh, probably just some G. Open your eyes, dude.

Uh, Ryan, um, is my fiancé.

Uh, so you brought them here?

Uh, well, he must be fucking drunk because I don't cook no fucking breakfast.

Uh, you know, ah, industry referrals.

Uh, you know, ah, industry referrals.

Uh, you know, you hit buttons and you think that you know something about me.

Uh....

Um, About this box. I need to talk to you about this box...

Um, all the guys here are fucking obnoxious.

Um, oh....

Um, tsk, SBA, yes, uh....

Um, you are currently the manager of an automotive accessories business?

Um....

Um.... It's good. It's good.

Under the table?

Unfortunately, Mr. Lane, my hands are tied.

Waffle House pussy? I hate Waffle House pussy, heh.

Wait a minute. So that means someone might have stuck around.

Waiting for our time to make our move, take our show global.

Waiting for the sweet spot.

We all had to do it, man.

We could use some more youth on the team.

We do a group act first, then we do our solos, then we do hot seats.

We got a sorority in like a half hour.

We got to do something. Mikey, what you got?

We got to get you an American flag Star Spangled Banner...

We have a lot of friends here. Can they come too?

We keep getting complaints of noise and underage drinking.

We know we got fire, now we got to make it rain.

We seem to have a credit issue, Mr. Lane. Your score is

We went in on a whole pack, hombre. A whole pack.

We were going to swing by IHOP on the way

We will be the Cock rocking Kings...

We, uh, worked together on construction.

We'll tip you out good at the end of the night. You'll be a happy man.

We're fucking her, not taking her to dinner.

We've been standing around here for quite a while, and I'm 21.

We've been talking a lot about the markets.

Welcome to the stage, the one, the only...

Well, as of September 1st...

Well, he had a football scholarship.

Well, I had that interview at T Mobile.

Well, she did. I don't know how long she stayed for, but it was, uh....

Well, that's who the law says that you cannot touch.

Well, this is not going to work out at all between you and I.

Well....

What about?

What am I ?

What are you doing breaking into my house?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing? Stop. What the fuck are you doing, man?

What are you gonna do?

What are you thinking about?

What could we do with seven hours?

What did I tell you?

What do you guys do?

What do you mean, it's for work? How could it possibly be for work?

What do you mean, like a date?

What do you say, baby boy? You want one?

What do you want me to say?

What does it say?

What he got down low fits like a glove

What kind of cash you make at that?

What kind of cash you make?

What the fuck are you doing taking ? Front from Tobias?

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck did you say, buddy?

What the fuck is this?

What was her name again?

What was your name? I can't remember. What was it?

What would his kids even look like?

What would Tall Paul say, huh?

What, am I in middle school or something, heh?

What, like a date?

What?

What?

What? I also...

What? I don't

What? I'm sorry.

What? You're just gonna leave us?

What's Dallas's deal, man? Is he, uh, a good guy?

What's the thing you came up to do?

What's up, dude?

Whatever her name was, she was fun.

When I have a kid, I'm going to set him in front of the TV...

When I saw something is when you got off stage.

Where are you from?

Where's Mike?

Who do we have to fuck to get a fucking drink?

Whoa, brother.

Whoa, hey.

Whoo!

Whoo! It's a fucking revival.

Why are you shaving your legs?

Why do you look scared for?

Why do you think I'm doing all these stupid businesses...

Why don't you bring him to practice tomorrow and we'll see what he's got?

Why don't you just wear a tie?

Why don't you open the fucking bag before I open your fucking head up?

Why is he giving you pills? How many?

Why? Because of what's his name that moved to Orlando?

WOMAN: No. No, not like that. Heh.

WOMAN: That storm is crazy, huh?

WOMAN: Who's your friend, Mike?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Wow.

Yeah, but she's not really our type. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, fucking Miami, man. Heh, fucking Miami.

Yeah, I believe you...

Yeah, I'm shaving my legs.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot to ask for the money...

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, perfect, perfect. Go, go, go.

Yeah, she was there during your act.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, that and the lure of my sister's couch.

Yeah, uh, what's up?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. My main man.

Yeah. Paradise. Marooned on an island with all the strippers in Tampa.

Yeah. Uh, so I know, uh, Joanna from the club. Uh, she came up

Yes, I will. Obviously you don't like head.

Yo, man. Watch out, you're going to knock my girlfriend.

You all right, man?

You already lost your virginity. All you got to do now is get good at it.

You are a bullshit, 30 year old male stripper.

You are fulfilling every woman's wildest fantasies. All right?

You are that dreamboat guy that never came along.

You are the one night stand, that free fling of a fuck...

You are worth the cash you pry out of their fucking purses.

You ask a lot of questions, don't you? Little Chatty Cathy tonight, huh?

You ask a lot of questions, don't you? Little Chatty Cathy tonight, huh?

You better take care of him, Mike.

You bring out whatever props and everything There he is.

You can ask him if any of his friends have any job openings.

You can do this, because I know you can.

You can hop up there.

You can't be around my ? I'm not my lifestyle.

You can't drink, so you want half a cap?

You damn sure didn't let me talk, so let me talk now.

You didn't. And you won't.

You do do good impressions. What was the one you did last night?

You do not have the keys. Oh, shit, you do.

You don't Right now. Nothing. I'm just

You don't believe any of it?

You don't believe any of it?

You don't fucking feed me, Dallas.

You don't have anything else to say? You want to add onto that?

You don't have anything sharp on you that I can stick myself with, do you?

You don't just fucking throw your clothes off. You fucking make it count, baby.

You don't look like a strong safety.

You don't need to talk. Just look pretty.

You don't want to know what I have to do for 20s.

You don't want to look like him, do you?

You ever, uh, tiled a roof before?

You got to believe that you are inside every single one of them.

You got your ID on you?

You got your ID? Heh. You're not drinking a Shirley Temple tonight, are you?

You gotta watch out for herpes.

You guys are really.... Have a great time.

You guys need to stop already.

You handed it to me like the Hindenburg.

You have fun last night?

You hear me?

You just need to relax. You're acting fucking crazy. And I get it.

You know about the roofing, and I got a mobile detailing thing.

You know how I feel about wearing a fucking tie.

You know that better than anybody.

You know that, right?

You know what I'm saying?

You know what that means, the orgy's over, ladies.

You know what time it is. It's time for the hot seat.

You know, I gotta go commando today because someone...

You look around. You tease.

You only have a cherry pop one time.

You ready to be the man?

You really just came down to see little brother?

You see that shit, Mike?

You see the girl with the tiara thing and the sash?

You see, baby, you're not just stripping.

You should sell these things.

You talked to my sister?

You think you have your shit all figured out, but I fucking see you.

You walk out. You own it.

You want a bigger piece? Come up with some fresher shit, man.

You want me to say something to him?

You want to get something to eat sometime?

You're doing that thing. You're doing that game.

You're going to owe me.

You're kidding me.

You're like a big brother to this team.

You're my brother. Just please come out here so I can talk to you.

You're not getting any younger.

You're not into her?

You're on props tonight.

You're right. I'm sick of talking about Medicaid...

You're the last person that I

Your sister was there.

038 00 7128. And I, uh...

...but I guess it's a similar kind of thing. Yeah.

...heh, I talked to Mr. Rodriguez last week. Oh.

...on some girl's chest. Adam, I see what's happening here.

...that in my head, like just now. Ha, ha.

A thing for vampires, heh? Yeah. Got a bit of a thing.

All right. You sure?

And I could sell it to people. You'll make so much money.

And my, uh, cut of the door. Yes, sir.

Are we fighting? Ha, ha.

Are you calling me like a dog? ADAM: Who did that?

Are you calling me like a dog? MIKE: What, huh?

Are you going to weigh in on that too? No.

Are you serious? Yeah.

Argh! Okay. All right.

Brooke, this is Mike, uh.... Oh, thank you. Mike, this is Brooke.

BROOKE: No, that's okay, heh. MIKE: Heh.

Brooke. Absolute pleasure. Hi. Mike.

But Adam's different. He's.... Why is that?

But you said I'm not, heh, going. I've seen it.

Calm down. No, shut up. Shut up!

Chatty Cathy. Chatty Cathy.

Come on. Come on.

Don't be mad. I'm not mad.

Don't do that... maybe? Okay.

Don't try it. Yeah. DALLAS: Capiche?

Don't worry about it. It's fine.

Genius, Kid. How we do tonight, Mikey?

Get changed. Oh, no. I'm taking your advice.

Get out here. I need to talk to you. What do you want?

Get out, Adam. I'll be out in a minute, please. One sec.

Get the Ha, ha.

Good to see you. You too. How are you?

Great. What's up, man? Mike. Ryan.

Ha, ha. MIKE: I'll say something to him.

He can't dance for shit. Cannot dance for shit, that is teachable.

He's absolutely gonna be there. I will?

He's going to be fine, heh. He's not okay.

Heh. Hang on. What the fuck are you doing?

Heh. This is okay?

Hey, man. MIKE: Yo.

Hey, Mike. Huh?

Hey, you Sol? Sal. Adam. Sal.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. It's not funny. Heh, oh, sorry, heh.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Oh, hey.

How long you been on the force? What?

How much money? Yeah.

I can do anything. We're setting up our own shit as it is.

I can do it. Now, take a breath.

I did not say that. Yes, I did.

I do. You found her. You have to remember her.

I don't know why more people don't do that... DALLAS: Hm?

I don't like being mad at you. Look at that face.

I don't. Let's drink these and I'll show you.

I don't. Let's drink these and I'll show you.

I hope you're ready for this shit. Ha, ha.

I just came off stage. I can't. An idea. Give me something.

I know her name. What is it, then?

I promise, man I mean, owe me.

I really don't like being mad at you. You guys are going to have fun in Miami.

I said everything I needed to say. You had a lot to say yesterday.

I think that was something I said to you. What, you want some credit?

I'll give you 18. Mm mm.

I'll talk to you later about it, okay? Yeah.

I'll talk to you later about it, okay? Yeah.

I'm Liz. Hi. Hi, Liz.

I'm not going to do it now. Heh, do it again. Do it again.

I've been waiting for this for a long time. It's all yours. Come here.

Is he all right? Yeah, he's okay.

Is that a tattoo over there too? Yeah.

Is that a tattoo? Yeah.

Is that vintage? Oh, I, um....

It was nice to meet you. It was nice to meet you too.

It's true. And I can't get drunk.

Mm hm. So it's summer break, correct?

Nice meeting you. See you, babe. Yes, sir.

Nice to meet you. You too. I like your bikini.

No worries. I just forgot.

No, thanks, man. No?

No. Come on.

No. Fuck.

No. I'm good. Suit yourself.

No. Sorry. All right.

Not me. Her. BROOKE: Heh.

Oh, heh, wow. Fuck. Ha, ha.

Oh, it's fucking really good, heh. MIKE: Mm hm.

Oh, my God. What are you doing here? JOANNA: Hey.

Oh, yeah. The cougars will eat him up. Yeah?

Okay, so I've seen the stripping. Yup.

Okay. How about just get the fuck out? No problem.

One of us should talk to him. Well, you've done enough, haven't you?

Paradise. Heh.

Perfect. We can't drink them all ourselves. Whoo.

Pre game. That's what I'm talking about. It's the love potion.

Preferences? BROOKE: I just want to talk to you about

Really? Yeah. I think you're right. I'm done.

Remember what I said? Hmm, I'm so sorry.

Right now? Right now. Take them off.

She, ha, ha, looked pissed. Ha, ha, oof.

She's a dinner type, is what I'm trying to say. Oh.

So how do you know my brother? MIKE: Uh, he's on my roofing crew.

So you're not a vampire? No, I'm not a vampire.

Sound off ALL: Three, four

Stop. No, Mike, this is my brother.

Talking about games, I could be a gamer. Oh, yeah.

Thanks for that. Heh.

That pig is so fucking cute. WOMAN: Heh.

That's a lot of stuff. Yes, it is.

That's huge. JOANNA: It is, yeah.

The fuck am I supposed to do with that? MIKE: Oh, come on. He don't look 19.

The happiest? Yeah, money aside.

Then what are you doing? Heh, taking off my clothes.

Then why the fuck isn't she throwing up? Whoo.

There you go. There's a taker. ADAM: I will.

They were my grandma's. They were not your grandma's.

They're real, I swear. ADAM: Yeah, I bet they are.

Tito, call them Cubano cousins, huh? TITO: They on their way, baby.

Tsk. Good?

Two way street. I want to hear you say the word: Equity.

Uh, hi. Do I know you? Hi.

Uh, nineteen. DALLAS: Nineteen.

Uh. Make sure you massage it in good.

We can't get drinks. LIZ: Ha, ha.

Well, now you do. Okay? Heh.

What ? Eh, Mike sold it up real nice.

What are you doing here? You know me. Always making new friends.

What are you guys planning on doing tonight? Ha, ha.

What are you looking for him for? He's late on his front.

What did you say? What did you hear?

What game? No. You do that all the time.

What is this? Strawberry? What is that?

What the fuck did you do to my brother? MIKE: Relax. Yo, Brooke.

What thing? DALLAS: Boom!

What you need from me? What's my side? Just keep doing what you're doing.

What? Come here. Come here.

What? Did you have fun last night?

What? What?

What? Yeah, but I have....

What's his half? Ten grand.

Why is easy. What do you mean, it's easy?

Wow, 13. That's a lot of ones. Heh.

Wow, you're a busy guy. Ha, ha. Yeah.

Yeah, he's in here. Okay. Cool.

Yeah, heh. Ha, ha. Right. Ahem.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah?

Yeah? What's your name? Kim.

Yeah. Yes?

Yeah. I think he said something about that. Yeah.

Yeah. Paul and I are figuring things out. Hmm.

Yes. Yeah, heh. Heh.

You are a bad friend. I'm trying.

You drive me around. I can pay for my own gas.

You go out then. I'm not hitting the fucking floor. Come on.

You gonna come to the show tonight? No.

You gotta be fucking kidding me. What?

You just said you liked the show. Doesn't mean I'm gonna go again.

You lost it? I'm sorry, man.

You made that? Hmm?

You ready? Yeah.

You want me to come up with something? Fuck, yeah.

You want some stripper wisdom? Okay.

You'd like that, wouldn't you? Uh, yes, I would.

You're 21? Yes.

You're going to come. You swear? Yeah, we promise.

You're gonna come. No.

...and change your mind and put some effort into it, you know my number.

...and I knew when I saw him, I just knew I had to bring him in.

...and I know you're basically a good person.

...and make him watch Mad Money all day. Teach him about the stock market.

...and not get in trouble...

...and Paul tonight?

...and processing insurance forms as well. I get it.

...and the stripping? I've saved about 13 grand. It's gonna happen eventually.

...and then I'll swoop in.

...and when you're doing huge property damage claims...

...as they were throwing beer bottles at our heads.

...barking about benefits and shit. Give me a break.

...barking about benefits and shit. Give me a break.

...be up there. I'll see you at the Amp. All right. Later.

...because you, baby, you made it legal. You are the liberation.

...before we make the big move, Mike.

...brought the funds for my down payment.

...but, uh, all we know is you got a lot of work to do. So don't quit your day job yet.

...but, uh, all we know is you got a lot of work to do. So don't quit your day job yet.

...could do....

...especially because of that furniture crap you wanted to do.

...for Fourth of July summertime.

...for our qualified distressed clients, so that

...giving pills to girls that you don't know?

...giving you the cue before each act.

...going to do whatever Adam wanted to do.

...he's one of a kind, ladies.

...I just need you to know that...

...I wouldn't have even gone. No way.

...if you're gonna turn your back on a sandbar party.

...in a fistfight with his coach in the first hour of the first day.

...just from an investment standpoint.

...like that. I see why you've been doing it for so long. I get it.

...of 4000 square feet...

...of boots and thongs and sailor hats and tube socks. And I am fucking

...of Miami prime time beachfront real estate, motherfuckers.

...our props before we go out on stage.

...out of the shadows, into the light. Come on, baby.

...ripped off my favorite pair of panties last night.

...Russian. Yuri Gagarin.

...so I figured he could help out around here tonight.

...that I would take care of him, and I didn't, and I'm sorry about that.

...that they're, uh, not going to be able to rebuild their houses. Um, anyway....

...that's ever been in outer space, living or dead.

...that's making the big move for you, isn't it?

...the Cock rocking Kings of Tampa.

...the good Lord has blessed the Kings of Tampa this summer.

...the star of the show, Mr. Magic Mike.

...then we jack up the price of the hot seats, so don't fuck it up.

...they get to have, tonight, with you on stage, still go home to their hubby...

...they think they're owed a lot more than, uh, they deserve. So too bad. Bummer.

...throwing that kid out on the plank like that.

...to clients who score below our credit threshold.

...to motherfucking Miami, huh? Unh!

...until he can figure out something out.

...we will no longer be the Cock rocking Kings of Tampa.

...were all hot and bothered, so I figured I'd bring him along.

...when you can get hand crafted furniture for a bargain?

...with the, uh, real estate attorneys.

[ADAM CHUCKLES]

[ADAM CLEARS THROAT]

[ADAM COUGHS]

[ADAM EXHALES]

[ADAM EXHALES]

[ADAM GASPS]

[ADAM LAUGHS]

[ADAM SIGH]

[ADAM STAMMERS]

[ADAM WHISTLES]

[ALL CHATTERING]

[ALL CHATTERING]

[ALL CHEERING]

[ALL CHEERING]

[ALL CHUCKLE]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[ALL SCREAM]

[ALL SCREAMING AND CHEERING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[AUDIENCE WHOOPING AND CHEERING]

[BANGING ON DOOR]

[BIG & RICH'S SAVE A HORSE (RIDE A COWBOY) PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[BOTH WHOOPING]

[BROOKE LAUGHING]

[BROOKE LAUGHING]

[BROOKE LAUGHS]

[BROOKE SIGHS]

[BROOKE SIGHS]

[CAR ALARM CHIRPING]

[CAR HORN HONKING]

[CHEERING CONTINUES]

[CHEERING CONTINUES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[COUGHS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[DALLAS GRUNTS]

[DALLAS SIGHS]

[DOOR BELL RINGING]

[DRUMBEAT]

[EXCISION AND DATSIK'S CALYPSO PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[GASPS]

[GATE OPENING THEN CLOSING]

[GINUWINE'S PONY PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

[GIRL CHUCKLES]

[GIRLS CHUCKLE]

[GIRLS TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[GRUNTS]

[GUNFIRE ON SPEAKERS]

[GUNSHOTS OVER SPEAKERS]

[HOOFBEATS APPROACHING]

[HORSES NEIGH]

[IMITATING ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER] Listen to me.

[INDISTINCT DIALOGUE]

[JOANNA CLEARS THROAT]

[JOANNA CLEARS THROAT]

[KEN AND TITO TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[KEN CLEARS THROAT]

[KEN SIGHS]

[KEN'S WIFE CHUCKLES]

[KISS'S CALLING DR. LOVE PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[MEN GIBBERING]

[MEN HUMMING]

[MIKE CHUCKLES]

[MIKE CHUCKLES]

[MIKE CHUCKLES]

[MIKE COUGHS]

[MIKE GRUNTS]

[MIKE SIGHS]

[MIKE SIGHS]

[MUMBLES]

[NATIVE AMERICAN THEMES PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]

[RINGSIDE'S MONEY PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[SAL SIGHS]

[SHOUTS] Penelope.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY AS MARILYN MONROE]

[SINGING] I do know and I've been told

[SNIFFS]

[SOBBING]

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[SQUEAKS]

[TARZAN CHUCKLES]

[TARZAN WHOOPING]

[TOBIAS LAUGHS]

[TOBIAS LAUGHS]

[TOOTS HORN]

[TRIMMER WHIRRING]

[TYPING ON KEYBOARD]

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO]

[WHIMPERING] Adam, let's go. Come on, Adam.

[WHISPERING] Is that Paul?

[WHISPERS] Oh, fuck me.

[WOMEN CHEERING]

[WOMEN LAUGHING]

[WOMEN WHOOPING]

[WOMEN WHOOPING]

[YELLS]