It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005) - Season 6 Edit

A cold, calculated, heartless shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.

A couple of old ladies getting together, chasing men, eating cheesecake.

A father? None of these guys are fit to be fathers. They're animals.

A funny conversation pops up, you wanna remember it.

A good hockey wig could put this thing over the top, man.

A keg exploded in the bar. Blew Dennis's dick off.

A little guy time. Guy time.

A little something about how class works.

A lizard.

A lot lizard would be a, uh

A lot of A lot. I've acted in a lot of things.

A lot of great actors have done blackface.

A man's gotta make a living, and looking the way you do I'm not surprised.

A moment, please.

A monologue!

A monster most foul."

A piece of metal flew off the keg and hit Dennis in the dick.

A plus sign and a chicken.

A teacher is born.

A what day?

Aah! Frank, I gotta go see a chiropractor again.

Absolutely not. Dee, stop dancing.

Absolutely. But we are also looking to entertain guests upon this boat, so

Absolutely. Everyone's talking about technology these days because it's everywhere.

Actually, Frank and Charlie, I want you to start...

Actually, I came clean to my wife, and she kicked me out of the house.

Actually, if you'd like to join our swim club...

Actually, one's not even a dude.

Actually, you know what? I do give a shit about minutes.

After the fight and the kiss...

After the fight, Mac went to the bathroom...

After you broke free...

Ah

Ah, Dee.

Ah, he's dead.

Ah, shit, dude. Oh, shit.

Ah, shit.

Ah, shit. Somebody please tell me Frank's memory is not correct.

Ah, that's perfect. That's perfect.

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Here we go.

Ah! It's playing. It's playing.

Ah. I'll talk to you guys later.

Ah. Is it you?

Ah. Okay.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ahh.

Ahh.

Ahoy, ahoy.

Ahoy, ahoy.

All blackface is racist, and that is the point I'm trying to make.

All good things are ending.

All I'm saying is that you started off our domestic partnership...

All of my instincts and my training tell me to use this as a weapon.

All of us.

All of your instincts and your training are wrong.

All right, all right, all right! Fine.

All right, class, feel free to text...

All right, Dennis, let's get this over with.

All right, first of all, he threw the keys at me overhand.

All right, here. Grab the stick.

All right, I'll handle it. Charlie, we have an announcement to make.

All right, kids, settle down.

All right, let's get back to Halloween.

All right, let's go! Answer the question! Come on!

All right, let's jump into the forest and we'll find some food there.

All right, let's turn it up. Whoo!

All right, Mac from South Philly, you're on with Preston and Steve!

All right, Mac, so you're gonna come on the ice and fire out to center. Right?

All right, man. There's gotta be a reason why all those couples want to do it.

All right, Schmitty, please have a seat in the ceremonial seat.

All right, so it's going around.

All right, that's easy enough.

All right, the song.

All right, very exciting stuff.

All right, wait a minute. Here. I do have something for you.

All right, we got a lot of work to do.

All right, well, bump it?

All right, well, that would have been cool if I was standing backwards

All right, well, welcome aboard.

All right, whatever. No problem. No problem.

All right!

All right? Right. Then you just sort of haunch down a little bit.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right, look.

All right. All right. Thanks so much.

All right. Are the kids confined in any way?

All right. Here we go.

All right. I just need both your signatures on here.

All right. I'll tell you what. You know what?

All right. Kind of rude...

All right. Let's do this.

All right. Let's get out of here.

All right. Oh! For the rats, people.

All right. That's it.

All right. TV's going off. Boom!

All right. We're gonna do it.

All right. Well, you know what? You should go relax.

All right. Well, you wanna pop down here and help me chuck this mattress out?

All right. Well, you win this one.

All sorts of conversation would start happening.

All that "hawwoowin lauow"?

All this talk about marriage and Dee being such a whore has got me thinking.

All this talk has really got me thinking about taking a dip.

All you know how to do is talk me into doing shit...

Alligator tooth and snakeskin

Also, I don't want to rush you on this either...

Although don't go snooping around too much.

Although it gets a little confusing halfway through...

Am I Am I right in this?

An empty beer bottle to spit in? Yeah?

And it made me mad because he didn't ask.

And after a while, I just kind of cave in.

And all the stories of all the terrible, awful, awful things...

And also, we buried it and then we opened it 10 years later?

And anybody else who doesn't want to be here today, you can get out now too.

And as long as I get up after a day or two, we all good.

And ask that he be allowed to wear his makeup in school.

And bash you against a telephone pole?

And by far the most vulnerable...

And check out the decor situation.

And Dee followed.

And Dee thought that Dennis was Charlie?

And Dee used to be lovers.

And Dee's pregnant, huh?

And doing shit for other people...

And during this matinee, I saw this young woman. I introduced myself.

And everybody deserves that right.

And everybody likes it, it's pretty much fair game.

And figure out what that kid wants ourselves.

And having class means being able to mix with people that are beneath you.

And he runs with this rough crowd...

And he won't understand a word we're saying...

And he's all tripped up about some issue.

And he's died.

And how is that gay?

And I didn't peg you for one 'cause of the pinky ring, but that's great.

And I give you the satisfaction of doing something nice for somebody.

And I got you something I think you're gonna like.

And I guess I always thought I'd be married by now.

And I hate it! And it's annoying!

And I have caught you alone, you are going to get it.

And I have the perfect guest.

And I heard Charlie cry out for help.

And I just finalized a delicate truce with them.

And I just watched you walk in with it.

And I like it. I take it as a compliment.

And I made a little list of stuff that would really support that theme.

And I met an extremely young lady the other day, and she gave me this hickey.

And I offered her my services, pro bono, of course.

And I returned it and I bought myself this shirt, which isn't hideous.

And I saw that you were about to make a really bad choice...

And I say we take this lady out onto the sea and get loaded.

And I thought it would upset you and get you going, and it did, it worked.

And I want to show 'em how cool I am, so

And I was able to fell the seductive temptress finally.

And I was with the McPoyle brothers over at the jukebox...

And I was, like, "Sure, I'll give that my best shot too. " So we're best friends now.

And I'm a frothin' and a foamin', and I was thinking

And I'm assuming the teeth are fake, yes?

And I'm gonna need you to stop using my name at the gym...

And I'm inclined to agree with him.

And I'm probably gonna use it a lot right now.

And I'm saying, Charlie, you should get over it, move on.

And I'm surprised you even know who the Phantom of the Opera is.

And if you don't get a divorce, you're going to hell.

And if you guys are cool with it, then I'll be perfectly cool with it.

And it looks like it's gonna be you.

And it turns out you don't actually own anything in this apartment.

And it worked like a charm. I had Frank all to myself for a month straight after that.

And it's lifting us up into the middle class, dude.

And Josh Groban is a beautiful singer with the voice of an angel.

And just then the waitress came in.

And just to reiterate, we don't suck on people. We own a bar.

And letting you play Murtaugh in blackface.

And look at this bullet.

And mostly it involves me watching my stories to relax...

And my mind's telling me the following:

And not give yourself any time to fulfill any kind of dreams?

And now he's uncomfortable talking to me.

And now you're a bit of a third wheel...

And now you're bringing it back to the bar?

And now you're calling me gay, telling me I'm tripping...

And now you're destroying one?

And number one, and most importantly, uh, the car.

And once we start recording, Frank, I'm gonna need you to stop eating those crackers.

And our costumes were pretty cool, except for yours.

And rolled it up into a ball, and then she

And see if I could kill a couple rats.

And she does the spa thing.

And since you would have been my best man, you should probably throw it for me. Yeah.

And so I followed you into the store...

And so I'll write back what?

And so she took Charlie into the back office and had her way with him.

And sort of get used to the lay of the land or whatever.

And take a shot from center ice.

And take your top off.

And taking trash and throwing it into Dumpsters.

And thank you for saying you like 'em.

And that brings me, actually, to my next point.

And that that's not my

And that...

And that's all that parenting is

And that's how I wound up with this wonderful and very sexual hickey.

And that's okay. That's okay. It's not a bad thing.

And that's the way we have to think eat anything to survive.

And that's what she did, dude she broke that shell with marriage.

And the best way to do that was to trick one of you two into making love to her.

And the phone goes away. And the phone goes into your pocket or into your backpack.

And then he, like, gave us an ultimatum.

And then I retreat into the mist.

And then I'm, like, dude, what the hell did you do?

And then jamming it down a kid's throat.

And then option number two is a hat that you put on.

And then she gets all sexy with me, 'cause I've, like, got the sexiest costume in the world on!

And then there's like a pirate ship.

And then they just kind of right up there and

And then we grab that and eat it.

And then we wait for something higher on the food chain to come along and grab it...

And then we'll figure out how many of them

And then we'll get bigger and bigger and eventually slap shots.

And then we'll have the delivery guy come, and he can help us out.

And then you and I can be best friends?

And then you bought yourself a...

And then you did make that choice and you bought that other shirt.

And then you fished it out of the trash and you cut the sleeves off it...

And then you have the procedure, and I never got that call.

And then you showed up wearing a different costume at the last minute.

And then you wanted to go back and talk to your friend, Sophia.

And therefore we currently are and will forever remain upper class.

And they were in the middle of some kind of big argument.

And they're all into this Hawaiian underground shit, you know?

And they're gonna send in a crew to wipe down the loads.

And this whole environment is very different.

And to say to you, "Why do you hang out with these people?

And to sort out any problems or concerns.

And trying to confuse me with your liberal biblicisms.

And was gonna throw this second coupon in the trash.

And we feel like we made a big mistake...

And we want you back, buddy.

And we were looking to cool down a little bit.

And we'll start slow. Oh, my

And we're going to have a couple of tasty treats out there.

And what I need to do is a front flip.

And when we're underwater, we'll place our order.

And when you do that, you look like maybe you're a worm.

And would it be okay if you put your hands on top of mine...

And you also acquired Miss Ponderosa's debt.

And you are no Maureen Ponderosa.

And you can bash up a whole bunch of rats with one quick strike...

And you can bet your boots, Detective...

And you can make rash decisions based on fear.

And you can't miss that shot, right?

And you can't spare a couple bucks for a toll road?

And you destroy the interior of the boat, you lose the keys

And you don't know how 'cause you don't know how to flip or do karate!

And you drink soup out of my shoe.

And you had the tears coming out of your eye.

And you happen to be at capacity for us.

And you were feeling saucy...

And you... could check my oil.

And you're gonna ignore her?

And you're guiding it.

And you're not even getting that right.

And you're seniors, and so

And your beer.

And, Bill, take care of yourself or whatever people say.

And, Dee, you've got to set that rabbit free.

And, Dr. Meyers, you are Dr. Frankenstein, so get up here and get acting!

And, please, correct me if I'm wrong.

And, uh

And, uh

And, uh, also, I kicked a dog in a subway once.

And, uh, are either of these wars happening on U.S., uh, soil?

And, uh, that's probably what you're hearing is the relaxation.

And, unfortunately, I've been given some devastating news...

And, you know, they can't refuse

And... it's awesome!

Animals can see souls. That is a fact of nature.

Animals should be food, rugs and trophies.

Any multiple number of sperms could have gone up there and eaten the egg.

Anything could be down there.

Anything else that happened that night like Deandra getting pregnant?

Anything you need, I will do it.

Anyway, the point is, I am having

Are Are you absolutely sure that you and I did not have sex...

Are we just gonna throw him in the trash or find a laundry chute...

Are we stuck in here?

Are you You're saying you want to eat the eraser?

Are you acting right now?

Are you done having babies? What's going on?

Are you filming this, Richie? No. Come on, dude. That's bootlegging.

Are you guys crazy? This boat is awesome.

Are you guys mad at me?

Are you hearing this? Are you hearing this?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? I did not have sex with Dennis.

Are you kidding me? Is this what you've been upset about the whole time?

Are you literally trying to push me out of a moving car again?

Are you patronizing me?

Are you sure we're not taking this Weekend at Bernie's thing too far?

Are you telling me that this photo of Bruce Jenner...

Are you telling me that wasn't even the waitress?

Are you trying to say "spaghetti"? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?

As a gay man, there's certain things you need to know about the afterlife.

As a matter of fact, I'm gonna go get that process started right now.

As a Philly sports legend!

As do I. Quite well.

As does that.

As far as shared assets, I'm not seeing much.

As I was saying...

As more people die...

As soon as you drop the soap, they **** your butt.

As well as the great investment.

As you are wont to do, 'cause that's your thing but whatever.

At least someone's banging my vagina!

At the beach house you're gonna be hanging out with the Flyers.

Atlantic City.

Atlantic City.

Aw, come on.

Aw, just throwing all these old, like...

Aw, man!

Aw, shit, man.

Aw, shit.

Aw, shit.

Aw! We love Charles Grodin. That dude is hysteri I love that guy.

Back in the day, sure, I would've indulged. Hell

Back me up on this, Dennis

Back together again at last.

Back with the Preston and Steve Show. Listen up. We've got to open up the phone lines.

Bash me like a rat and get it over with!

Bash some nerds.

Be sure to give it to Dr. Larry Meyers as a thank you for all of his inspiration."

Because a couple weeks before, we had some makeup sex...

Because getting stuck in an abandoned pool is extremely low class.

Because he's with a tranny? You were with the tranny. What are you saying?

Because I don't have a home anymore.

Because I got these two coupons in the mail.

Because I got to get back in there ASAP before I lose this pump.

Because I have actually packed on 15 or 20 pounds of solid bulk muscle...

Because I think Mac just made it up on the spot.

Because I'm getting a lot of phone calls about that, and that's a little embarrassing.

Because if I threw it in the trash, you would find it and then yell at me.

Because it is a disgusting dead bird, that's why.

Because it's an imagination based game.

Because it's really interesting and innovative, and I thought maybe you'd want some lessons.

Because Mac and I decided to switch parts.

Because my dick totally went back to normal, and it's fine now.

Because of an incident that happened a few weeks before...

Because of the implication.

Because she wanted another Dumpster hump, and I wanted to stay at the party.

Because she was trying to make me jealous.

Because that dust cloud, you know, really shows the laser beam alarms.

Because they caught a guy jerking off in here...

Because they love each other very much.

Because this was a pool for lower class people.

Because those delivery guys are always Chinese...

Because we don't serve spaghetti...

Because we want to make this official.

Because we wanted to tell you that we're sorry for picking Schmitty over you...

Because we were going through a little bit of a honeymoon phase.

Because we were starving ourselves for the casino buffet.

Because we're gonna be bringing back a couple of tasty treats, if you know what I'm saying.

Because you ate rancid, maggot filled meat, not because of animals.

Because you guys are trying to confuse me.

Because you weren't using the room, Dee, and the hospital's very full.

Because you're an irresponsible person...

Because you're not even supposed to be here.

Because you're spending the night in a museum, right?

Because, Ben, it's my understanding...

Because, Dee, that triggers my gag reflex, too, and then I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Ben the soldier is here with us, folks, and I want to talk to him...

Besides, did you guys see that cooze over there dressing like a peacock?

Besides, I certainly never expected you guys to be rooting around in the sewer.

Bet you wish you could take that one back, huh?

Better have some cool stuff at this thing.

Big, giant bird. Green bird.

Bill Ponderosa.

Bill? No

Bon voyage, Poppins!

Boom! Pool!

Boom. Mrs. Mac, your mom together. Could be the perfect situation. Come on.

Boom. Sc****. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Bro, when you tack on mass you sacrifice flexibility. That's just a straight up fact!

But I'm starving.

But also, since we're here...

But as soon as we get back to the bar...

But at least it's classy.

But come on, I mean, him?

But don't take it to heart, 'cause I got something that's going to cheer you up.

But ending it with a hot air balloon ride, that kicks ass.

But for now we're just a bunch of guys hanging out in a room.

But he has been obsessing about this luau thing...

But he is wasted on you.

But he plays guys that are normal size in movies.

But he wouldn't pay for the green screen on our side, so

But I can leave you guys alone, I guess.

But I can't get this goddamn TV to do anything.

But I can't wait to make my speech.

But I did have to drop you from my cell phone's family plan.

But I didn't really give a shit, because despite looking like a cartoon bricklayer...

But I don't question the things you do anymore.

But I feel the need to reconnect with the guys. So But you know what?

But I guess if he's serving us, then that makes him lower than us, so that's cool.

But I guess if we're off the hook, let's head back to the bar.

But I have to say, I don't think I've ever encountered someone...

But I thought we were gonna watch a movie tonight.

But I wish you gave me one of these a long time ago...

But I'm not gonna say anything because I don't wanna be cynical anymore.

But I'm sorry to tell you, fellas...

But it sounds like she doesn't want to have sex with you.

But it starts with gliding like cream. Go!

But it was Dennis that you went into the back room with.

But it's great because in the end I'm gonna end up with polished shoes.

But it's not too late to teach.

But it's probably like raw sewage that's been sitting here.

But keep my hands out of the shot. I'll put 'em down here.

But let's just say my friends here set off on a certain towel venture

But listen, you would consider me a pretty methodical person, wouldn't you?

But my friends here couldn't wait for that.

But nonetheless, uh, I really, like I said, I don't want you in my space.

But not a black guy with a black face?

But not out in your fingers, because I'm talking.

But she's thinking that they will.

But since you're not around, we decided to call you.

But that way, somebody could find him and put him back in my room.

But that'll last a little while, but it'll go away eventually.

But that's cool.

But that's not really how you drive a motorcycle.

But that's not the point. What do you see there?

But that's the power of acting. Do you see what I'm saying?

But that's what I would tell the ladies so I didn't have to wear a condom.

But the door was locked, and I heard the passionate, unmistakable sounds...

But the good news is she's fine.

But the line for the ladies ' room was too long...

But then the computer got water dumped all over it. It was a whole thing

But there is a bit of a heat wave going on in Philly right now.

But there's cab fare on the nightstand.

But they all promised to have blood tests.

But think about this, Frank. You know who's not gonna do that?

But we're just gonna keep it on the down low.

But what if you were to switch to some sort of smokeless tobacco alternative?

But with the excitement of the sea.

But you can't take a slap shot before you even know how to handle a stick and a puck.

But you can't wear 'em every day and expect for 'em to hold up.

But you gotta take 'em off every now and then.

But you gotta understand, we're both in uncharted waters here. Wouldn't you say?

But you were right, I was wrong.

But you're going about this all wrong, honestly.

But you're leaving out some major things.

But, Frank, that's because this domestic partnership thing is really worth doing, dude.

But, see, I distinctly remember there being...

But, uh, it doesn't meet, well, any of your specs.

But, uh, the lady... isn't interested.

But, um, get out!

But, you know, since you guys don't care about me or my body or my baby...

Butt dance 2.0. Butt dance 2.0.

Butt... butt!

Butter me up. I'm gonna be the watermelon and jump in the pool.

Buy your shit and let's get out of here.

By administering a sweet roundhouse kick to the bell.

By scraping the barnacles off the bottom of the boat

By the time you guys come back, I promise you, I promise, the boat will be looking better.

Call Charles Grodin a bitter old man one more time, and see what happens!

Call me a bird all night. Making fun, saying names.

Calls me names like army jerk, camo turkey.

Calm down, Charlie. Calm down. Relax. All right, all right.

Can I talk to you in the back office for a second real quick?

Can you believe that? Someone threw this away. Perfectly good orange, you know?

Can you feel it?

Can you just tell us about Halloween? Stick to Halloween night.

Can you take me to go get a beer? I need a beer.

Can't eat spaghetti. Can't follow the movie. Doesn't make sense.

Candles? Where'd you steal these from, huh?

Capacity? That is unbelievable...

Carmen? What are you doing here?

Center ice shot, baby!

Champagne! Champagne! Champagne!

Charisma. It's, like, you got it.

Charles Grodin is a bitter old man with a giant head...

Charles Grodin is coming in concert, and you didn't tell us?

Charlie and I found this abandoned pool that we used to swim in when we were kids.

Charlie and I have decided that we are going to be the father of this child.

Charlie keeps a book of dreams and aspirations.

Charlie should not have anything to do with these people. They are deranged.

Charlie, don't do that. Oh, goddamn it, don't do that. This is my thing.

Charlie, get Frank a beer.

Charlie, I think you're right, dude. I feel better about this.

Charlie, I'm not going in. It's your boat. You go on in.

Charlie, it lumped it up and mangled it like a chicken potpie down there.

Charlie, let's go. Get in here.

Charlie, look at this. I've been saving these for years. What?

Charlie, not in the corner. Put 'em in the closet, tuck 'em in the back.

Charlie, where's the boat? What happened to the boat?

Charlie, you gotta focus, okay? A pool is a major investment.

Charlie, you gotta help me, dude. This is my big break. Come on!

Charlie, you still haven't told me how this shit is going to be good for me. Me.

Charlie.

Charlie.

Charlie. Charlie.

Charlie. He's Frank's friend.

Charlie's been hanging around with this guy Duncan from under the bridge...

Chase Utley and Ryan Howard of the Philadelphia Phillies.

Check that box of tiki torches. Start setting those up.

Check your front pockets. What are you doing?

Clearly I'm the captain. Who else would be the captain?

Clearly, I did get my pump on, but that's 'cause I just did a bunch of push ups outside.

Clearly, this means a lot to you, so fine.

Clearly, we're not gonna come to any conclusions here today, so let's move past it.

Come back to bed and snuggle with me.

Come in.

Come into a considerable amount of money.

Come on in.

Come on now.

Come on now.

Come on, Dennis.

Come on, Frank, push him out!

Come on, let's go switch. You'll be okay, buddy.

Come on, man. No. I'm saying, we're already friends, right?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Hey, good boy.

Come on. Hey, good boy.

Come on. It's our first night as a married couple

Come on. Jump on that.

Come on. Just relax. Take your clothes off.

Come speak to the kids. Inspire them.

Coming from the bathroom, but it wasn't me and Dee.

Congrats on all of your success. Stay grounded.

Congratulations to her.

Cool, guys. Good truce, good truce, good truce, good truce.

Correct answer!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but to make Night Crawlers a little bit better...

Could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to this position.

Could you wait a minute? I just want to make sure it's okay.

Couldn't find soup, but I found some dirty dishwater.

Course I know what he wants. He's lookin' at me right in the eyes.

Crash and burn.

Crazy ass white boy steadily dressing up folk and talking about Thor.

Crew meeting! Crew meeting!

Cricket, bring her some soup.

Damn catfish nipping at my heels all the way Endangered, my ass.

Damn foreigners! They ain't American, I don't want to know 'em.

Damn it, dude. That private pool's awesome. They have attendants.

Damn it. I was hoping I wouldn't have to admit this, but I guess I have to tell you.

Darth Vader was black.

Dead air!

Deandra. We have to take care of each other.

Dee came out of the bathroom in her new costume feeling quite saucy.

Dee came out of the bathroom in quite a rage.

Dee is like the most irresponsible person on the planet.

Dee Reynolds.

Dee was clearly on a warpath...

Dee was incensed that her costume was covered in milk.

Dee, are you seriously bragging about sleeping with a married man?

Dee, first you wanted to kill it...

Dee, get in your room. You're drive I

Dee, get the cup.

Dee, hey, we gotta talk.

Dee, I don't even think I'd want to be a part of some exclusionary pool club...

Dee, I gave you a car.

Dee, I go to a movie or a spaghetti place with you, and out there, I'm the rat.

Dee, pop this into your purse real quick.

Dee, we don't care about you or your body or your baby...

Dee, what are you doing?

Dee, why in God's name would you wear a costume with giant wings?

Dee, you were supposed to take Charlie.

Dee, you're pregnant as shit.

Dee! Dee!

Dee! Hey!

Dee's not gonna take care of you.

Definitely.

Definitely. For one day...

Delightful.

Denim chicken.

Dennis and Dee are gonna pull the plug on you so fast, your head is gonna spin.

Dennis and Dee Reynolds here. We're back to the podcast.

Dennis and I were born upper class...

Dennis is the father of that baby.

Dennis Reynolds and Maureen Ponderosa...

Dennis told me about these shorts. They're not white trash.

Dennis will sink his teeth into it.

Dennis, listen. We should hang out more together.

Dennis, remember you and Mac and you guys...

Dennis, that was amazing. I've never seen anybody drive that fast.

Dennis, we're going to an animal rights event.

Dennis? Did we get cut off?

Diabetes.

Did you have a vasectomy or not?

Did you want to say yes to the trucker? Did you want to go bang the trucker in that motel?

Die, you sucker!

Do any of you assholes wanna know how old I am?

Do Do we have the wrong yacht?

Do my back. I can't do my back. Go ahead.

Do not call the shorts white trash.

Do not speak until I turn my tape over.

Do you have any last words?

Do you have anything to drink?

Do you not know how to ice skate?

Do you realize how much money scuba equipment costs?

Do you think he goes home at night and shoots laser beams into his boyfriend's asshole?

Do, like, a cool turn, get the crowd going!

Does anybody want any more catfish?

Does the air taste weird out here, or is it just me?

Dog's tied up outside. I'll grab him, bring him inside, and then I'll be on my way.

Doing those kinds of things and make friends there, okay?

Dolls and compasses and hair brushes and shit overboard.

Don't Don't look in those drawers.

Don't You're You don't need to

Don't bring her in here stinkin' up the joint. Come on.

Don't ever call me here again!

Don't flush.

Don't get too excited about your mother's achievements.

Don't get too excited about your mother's achievements.

Don't give me lines. Jump in the ocean and get the damn keys.

Don't make me give it to ya.

Don't patronize me. Don't do that.

Don't really work though, 'cause I feel like I'm still seeing stuff...

Don't say anything. 'Cause every time you open your mouth, I'm, like, ohh!

Don't say anything. Quiet!

Don't snap at me, Charlie! You bring nothing to the table!

Don't take his soul and get his soul out.

Don't usually find lot lizards out in the wild.

Don't worry, guys. He will be back.

Don't you get it? We got big timed, dude. He called us lower class.

Don't you look at me like that. You certainly wouldn't be in any danger.

Don't you say that, Charlie! Don't you say that!

Don't you understand? This pool is our bootstraps...

Dr. Meyers?

Dude, 'cause I can't fund my own bachelor party. That's just tacky.

Dude, how much longer do we have to stay in here?

Dude, I did this Weekend at Bernie's operation earlier...

Dude, I just saw another rat.

Dude, I left my jacket in the truck.

Dude, it's crazy shit. It's insane shit.

Dude, since when do you have a cell phone?

Dude, that's what we need to be doing.

Dude, there is gonna be so many athletes and celebrities at that beach house.

Dude, we are gonna lose all of our money.

Dude, we did a complete 180.

Dude, what are you doing? Where's your Mario costume?

Dude, you gotta stop cursing.

Easy peasy.

Eew. What is that?

Eh, he wasn't a good fit. Remember?

Either way, it's gonna be a really, really great time.

Either way, she's pregnant and it's a guy, so let's get him.

Enclosed is a check for one million dollars.

Essentially, just to make sure that you're both comfortable with this new arrangement.

Even if we do figure out who it is...

Even sharks need water.

Even though it's a term that I'm gonna use a lot.

Eventually, I blew the crotch out of them things.

Every single thing in here is mine.

Everybody calling me a bird.

Everybody chill.

Everybody goes crazy trying to grab it. They can't grab it.

Everybody say a prayer.

Everybody should be able to get married to whoever they want...

Excuse me, ma'am, but there is an African American family right there.

Excuse me, sir. Are you You're very cold. He's very cold.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Hey, come here really quick.

Excuse me. Let me Let me

Excuse me. What is happening here?

Fancy pool got... old after a while.

Feel it. Let it out.

Find the keys. Just find 'em.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. Excuse me. Hi.

First of all, don't say I went as Spider Man. I didn't go as Spider Man.

Five, six, seven, eight!

Fix that. Are there spiders here? Are there spiders there?"

Flashlight coming up.

For instance, that shirt that you're wearing right now that was my shirt.

For one day, let's make this lowly rat killer feel like a king.

For the slave is his property."

For the Web site.

For us to fiddle around with and play with.

Forget about it.

Frank Frank, we don't need to hear this part of the story, okay?

Frank and Artemis were sitting at the bar...

Frank has too much influence over this whole thing, all right?

Frank said you were gonna apologize to me.

Frank splurged on a green screen.

Frank started to apologize to me, and after a few minutes...

Frank, green juice, now!

Frank, I'd like to thank you for giving me the opportunity of a lifetime.

Frank, I'm talking about Maureen Ponderosa.

Frank, if you're starting with shoe polish, you're starting off on the wrong foot, buddy.

Frank, make me another juice, 'cause I feel like that green stuff's really working.

Frank, nobody gives a shit about minutes anymore.

Frank, now!

Frank, now!

Frank, stop picking your teeth for one second and back us up on this.

Frank, you are sick...

Frank, you might be right about us getting cynical.

Frank?

Frankenstein.

Get back to it?

Get into it! Get into it!

Get on the horse, Charlie. Bash. Bash 'em up.

Get out of here. Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Come on!

Get out!

Get out! Get out!

Get out! That's fantastic!

Get ready for a rock in the eye, bro.

Get rid of all the strange dongs.

Get that dog off me! The dog stinks!

Get the nurse and get him out of here.

Get to work. We'll do the trim and then we'll be done.

Get your narrow ass back in that waiting room before I knock you in there.

Getting the nurse is not gonna do any good. That woman is stubborn as shit.

Give 'em the tape.

Give it to someone whom I've just met.

Give me that. You ready? Way up.

Giving somebody a birthday party a surprise party

Go ahead. Go on. Let's go.

Go back to your fancy pool. We're fine.

Go bash 'em up, buddy.

Go get Duncan and the bridge crew and bring them to the bar.

Go lie down. Lie down now.

Go suck an egg?

Go suck an egg.

Go. Do it.

God, it's terrible. It's really disgusting.

God, that is so gross.

God, that's your sister.

God, this baby is becoming such an irritating thing to me.

God, this is just humiliating.

God! You people have a very strange conception of what goes on in nursing homes.

Goddamn it! I got milk all over me!

Goddamn it! I got milk all over me!

Goddamn it! I've been cleaning up in there for hours...

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn, this has been a really fun walk down memory lane.

Goddamn.

Goddamn.

Good morning, sleepyhead.

Good night, honey. Good night, Mac.

Good night, sweet prince.

Good, good. What's the occasion?

Got a lot of action films, which is very, very exciting.

Got all the Lethal Weapon movies, which is cool.

Got her pregnant at the Halloween party? What does that mean?

Got kicked out of the gang. What are you up to? You wanna hang out?

Gotcha!

Gotta say, that's pretty classy, guys...

Greased watermelon!

Great job, Rog.

Great.

Great. Hey. God, man. Maureen Ponderosa.

Great. Yeah, thanks No. We were hoping to be dropped off at a casino though.

Groban!

Grobanites don't miss shows. Josh Groban comes to town, and we consider it a call to action.

Gross! No! That did not happen.

Guess what, buddy. There's one more thing.

Guys, can we not focus on the shrimp?

Guys, come over here. This is bizarre, okay?

Guys, get excited! We're doing the # Butt, butt #

Guys, guys, calm down. You're gonna hurt each other.

Guys, here she comes. She's coming.

Guys, let's just do the right thing.

Guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys.

Ha! Pitting two pig dealers against each other.

Ha. So you come crawling back, you cheap sack of shit.

Had to let my guy go. Had to cut him loose.

Hang on a second. Give me some money

Hang on, son. Uh, did you forget something here?

Happy birthday? Oh.

Happy retirement, Rog.

Has just received another angel.

Haunch.

Have a good trip.

Have fun with your important conversations and your big issues...

Have the baby first.

Have the stupid baby. Then go flying through all the windows you like.

Have you guys been obsessing about this all night long?

He almost got the mouth right. See, that's what I'm saying about the lips.

He ate a whole bottle of shampoo at our apartment earlier. He loves shit like that.

He can have the hot plate.

He did it!

He does not have to say it.

He doesn't think I'm ugly. He's madly in love with me.

He drives a biplane and he shoots it at me, and I run through a field.

He is a homeless man. Cricket, walk us through a day in your life.

He is really bummed. I guess we could do something nice for him.

He passes out and dies, we walk away with a free 18 wheeler.

He probably can, dude.

He shall be punished.

He threw up the whole way over here, Dee.

He waited until she got her dick cut off before he banged her.

He wanted to play Murtaugh for some reason.

He was about to get his ass kicked by that giant dude.

He was coughing the whole way over here. He ate cigarette butts off the ground.

He was Darth Vader!

He was hot. Great buns.

He was my high school drama teacher. This is just dumb.

He was the fourth member of our crew.

He would disappear for months, but he would always come home.

He'll be lower than us. Don't worry about that.

He's a big animal rights lover, and he's gonna be there.

He's a big man. He can bathe himself, can't you, Rich?

He's going to ruin everything.

He's gonna get some perks. He doesn't trust me.

He's gonna go back to his mother and father, and he's gonna have a wonderful life.

He's got a wheeze. He might have emphysema, man.

He's looking at me like he can see right through my soul.

He's looking at me like he knows me.

He's probably funny. What do you think?

He's texting me all the time. He calls me, like, nonstop. He bought me a new car.

He's, like, obsessed with me now or something.

Heaven above...

Hell of a night, man.

Hell, no, I'm not gonna take care of you. You were a terrible father to me.

Hello, everybody. Hi there.

Hello, Jack Kelly. The pleasure is all mine.

Hello. I would like to redeem this coupon.

Help us.

Help!

Here comes my main man, Matty! Time for a haircut, Matty, though.

Here comes the turn.

Here he goes. Okay, go, go.

Here it is. I got it.

Here we go.

Here you go.

Here you go.

Here, dude, look. It goes something like this.

Here, let me hit you with the two by four. You won't feel anything.

Here's the thing, man. I

Hey o!

Hey oh! Good news, Dennis. Mom's okay.

Hey there, Mr. Craig.

Hey there! Y'all need a ride?

Hey, all the evidence is pointing towards you, pal.

Hey, Bill? Could we talk to you for a sec?

Hey, bro, how'd you lose that hand?

Hey, bro, just toss down that hose, then you can pull us up.

Hey, Captain.

Hey, Carmen.

Hey, Charlie, you're not having fun doing it, so we're not having fun watching it, buddy.

Hey, Charlie!

Hey, Charlie! Charlie! Charlie boy!

Hey, Charlie. Hey. Dennis and I were just

Hey, Dennis, Dennis. We have news. We have wonderful news.

Hey, did they really sell your dick to China?

Hey, do not say stupid shit like that...

Hey, do you remember all the good times that we used to have...

Hey, dude. I think this right here has got "keeper pile" written all over it.

Hey, fat bitch, how you doing today, Richard?

Hey, Frank, where are you, bro? Oh, there you are.

Hey, Frank, where's my chicken?

Hey, guys, I got kicked out of that other pool.

Hey, guys, thanks for everything. I think we're just gonna take off though.

Hey, guys, the management needs everybody to get out...

Hey, guys. We got some bagels and coffee. One, two, three.

Hey, hey, Dee. Uh, can you weigh in on something for us?

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Look who I brought. It's Poppins!

Hey, hey, hey! Easy, boys. Don't let the dog off the leash, okay?

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey! You watch what you say! All right. You know what?

Hey, hey. Shh. Hey.

Hey, I see you received my invitation.

Hey, I was just We were hanging out, uh, in the alley, going for some air.

Hey, leave us alone! Just stop it!

Hey, listen, I'm gonna try and get in touch with the guys, okay?

Hey, listen, uh, you've been really stressed...

Hey, look at this!

Hey, look, I'll swallow that eraser whole just to prove it to you.

Hey, Mac, would you mind taking a shot of the three of us for the Web site?

Hey, man, yeah. Absolutely.

Hey, Maureen Ponderosa. Hey.

Hey, there's my man. Oh, time out, son!

Hey, this chain's fake as shit, man.

Hey, um

Hey, um, you're still, uh, living with your mom, huh? That sounds kind of lame.

Hey, we're stuck in this pool, dude. Can you help us out?

Hey, wha What is going on in there?

Hey, where'd you get those glasses, bud?

Hey, you guys order a pizza?

Hey, you guys!

Hey, you, everybody thinks you're so hot, huh? You big hot bird.

Hey!

Hey! Get the hell

Hey! Hey! Those are my shoes!

Hey! Hi.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey. I got an idea.

Hey. Hey. I got an idea.

Hey. I love you.

Hey. It's the other pig guy.

Hey. Um, yeah, we're looking for Duncan.

Hi there. You two are with the Reynolds party, yes?

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Mr. Reynolds. I'm Deborah. We spoke on the phone

Hi. Hi, there. I'm Dee.

Hi. Hi. A couple of fellow yachters.

Hi. Hi. A couple of fellow yachters.

Hiya. Sorry to wake you up there. Sorry.

Hmm? Oh, no, I'm not.

Hmm.

Hold it Ugh!

Hold it like a hockey stick or people are going to boo you.

Hold on a second. So are you telling us...

Hold on a second. You guys are the best.

Hold on a second. You just had to sign a little piece of paper?

Hold on, fellas.

Hold on. This is Dee. Let's

Hold on. Why do you get to spend the day at a spa while we do all the legwork?

Holy mackerel.

Holy shit balls! It's a rabbit!

Holy shit, dude. There's a lot of people here. I'm getting nervous, Charlie.

Holy shit, I'm trapped like a rat, aren't I?

Holy shit! Are you okay?

Holy shit. Can that happen?

Honestly, I just wanna go swimming.

Hormones.

How 'bout a little tainted tap water?

How 'bout if we talk about how you used to bang each other?

How about a little of this?

How are things going on your end?

How are we gonna trust this baby with one of these monkeys?

How are we supposed to know this is a party if there's no beer?

How are you not grasping this situation?

How can I make that any more clear to you?

How do we get him a worm hat? I don't know what that is.

How do we make it a big moment? I wanna make it a big moment.

How do you know that this is what he wants?

How do you know that?

How far are we from Atlantic City? Is it a long ride, or

How is this gonna work? We look bad.

How much does he owe you, whore? How much does he owe you for the sex?

How much would it cost for this gentleman and I to get a nice couple's dance?

How's it going over there in your, uh, deserted mine shaft or whatever?

Huh?

Huh? Anything can happen out there.

Hulk doesn't think at all! Shit, I know this.

Hurry up.

Husband? You're married.

Hyah!

I actually really loved that guy. You know what?

I ain't going to jail over you.

I ain't no Duncan. It's this ****a right here about to go level three and shit.

I always check their licenses. That's not the point.

I am about to do you guys a huge solid. Ready?

I am done with this place. We need to take another run at that swim club.

I am going to have to do everything...

I am gonna take Charlie to the spa for a day to distract him.

I am inspiring you.

I am inspiring you.

I am learning some amazing moves from this guy.

I am shattered to pieces!

I am taking you guys on a field trip to Broadway!

I asked you to toss 'em! You threw 'em overhand!

I ate the crow.

I ate the crow.

I bet I earned this. I got you.

I bet you it was some kind of crazy adventure, right?

I bet you this is it. "Dram Dram bach." I bet that means "dream book."

I buy 'em all the time.

I call the cops and I tell them you beat me?

I can dance, and you don't know what you're talking about.

I can get those keys.

I can totally get on your health insurance.

I can't believe how much they charge for this shit.

I can't believe it, man. She takes advantage of me.

I can't believe this dude. He has not changed in years, man!

I can't even make out an angle to do a lap or anything.

I can't have kids of my own, and Carmen always wanted a baby.

I can't tell. Is he patronizing me again? I can't even tell anymore.

I can't wait to tell him. This is so exciting. There he is.

I cannot believe that that just happened, in this day and age.

I cannot stand being married to you!

I cannot wait to get you ladies out into the sea.

I could bash some nerds right now.

I could go for a beer. You guys wanna go back to the bar?

I could radio that in and get you a tow truck, but I'm about to hit the road myself.

I couldn't decide who the dad was, so I brought everybody.

I cut them off 'cause they were overshooting the bottom of my shorts.

I did this whole place in, like, two hours.

I did, because I figured it's a wild card.

I didn't ask you, okay?

I didn't tell you which night yet.

I do not tangle with lizards no more. No.

I do not tangle with lizards no more. No.

I do notice the ring though. Oh, good for you.

I don't care how pregnant I am, I'm gonna attack you.

I don't care.

I don't even really know how to make the bird jokes anymore. Like, they don't apply.

I don't even remember that party. I was wasted.

I don't get that at all. Is that what he said?

I don't give a shit, Dee, okay?

I don't go to the supermarket. The shopping carts are dangerous.

I don't have a problem at all with doing a black voice.

I don't have time for your shit, you dumbass dickbags!

I don't know what kind of idea you have about us, but we, sir, are like you.

I don't know what that You have a posse? Well, good.

I don't know what that You have a posse? Well, good.

I don't know what to say 'cause no one's ever really, um

I don't know what to say, guys.

I don't know what to say, man. This is just what I needed today.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know where you think I'm gonna get it from. I don't have any.

I don't know why I thought it would look any different.

I don't know why we, uh

I don't know, dude. What do you want me to say? The woman's out of her mind.

I don't know! Let's get into all this stuff.

I don't know. He's talking about a Lara Flynn Boyle joke. I think we got some better ones.

I don't know. I don't know it. Damn it! Reggie Leach.

I don't know. I'm not sure. Let's watch and find out.

I don't know. Let's not rule it out.

I don't know. We say yes to the trucker, we go to the motel room...

I don't love you, Maureen. I don't love you. I never loved you.

I don't remember most evenings.

I don't remember that night.

I don't see any attendants around here.

I don't see anything about our stupid luau, but, uh, this looks weird.

I don't think so, dude.

I don't understand why there's not a single room in this hospital...

I don't understand why you're insisting on jamming me up here, bro.

I don't wanna put a tin can in the water with a string 'cause we're not eight.

I don't wanna touch him at all. Why don't we just put him in the trash?

I don't want a dog to eat my face, Charlie!

I don't want there to be a strange man laying in my room who looks dead.

I don't want to be the woman, Charlie, and I don't want to see you be the woman.

I doubt Charlie can even say the word "luau."

I drank a lot of that juice. I remember that very clearly!

I enjoyed it so much that I tracked down Maureen here...

I feel like I would be the captain. Dennis?

I feel like if I had that kind of mobility...

I feel like if I talk to him, it's gonna slip out.

I feel like if you and I were in a room with a perfectly good cheesecake...

I feel like it was in very poor taste in retrospect.

I feel like now we can set aside our differences and settle this whole divorce pretty amicably.

I feel like we could do a podcast and it would be a million times better...

I feel like you just stole money from me...

I feel like you say that all the time now.

I feel like you're lumping me in with them.

I feel like you're starting to say a word and you're not finishing it.

I feel like you're taking it too seriously.

I feel nothing.

I feel trapped in here, Frank.

I feel way worse now than I ever did.

I figured he could keep you company while you're sick.

I figured you and I were getting tight enough that I could maybe come in here...

I found a couple cool things. What?

I found them in, like in a little pile in the alleyway.

I gave him a bite of my hot dog, he's letting me use his towel.

I get in there, I just bob around like a cauliflower.

I got a good idea. Let's get out of here.

I got a little gaggy. It's only 'cause he made me nervous.

I got a little suspicious when you slipped out earlier...

I got a text. I got a text from the woman. "Miss you."

I got a tickle, a really bad one.

I got a wife now.

I got an idea how we can spend that shit.

I got an idea. Let's order some food.

I got cash in my pocket, I got desire in my heart...

I got it from here. We can take it from here

I got nothin'. What gives?

I got something that might cheer us all up.

I got to be honest. I'm hot as well. Can we turn the fan on?

I got to call her or I'm out of here.

I got to feed the baby. Mac, grab it by the head and wring its neck off.

I got to get my pump on. I have a very big day.

I got to go home anyway. I should rest.

I got to say, guys, I'm very impressed.

I got to take a Oh, Jesus.

I got you a Stud magazine.

I got you coffee, I got you some Mexican peanuts...

I got you some candy.

I got your back. You won't get jumped.

I gotta do this thing in skates. You know, work up a routine, really jazz the crowd.

I gotta eat pretty soon. I'm starting to get woozy.

I gotta get my hetero on.

I gotta get out of here. Calm down, Charlie.

I had a tremendous amount of douche bag blood all over my knuckles...

I had an idea!

I had everything in that jacket. It had all my money. It had my phone.

I had sex with you. It was sex with me. It was sex with me.

I had to break the window of the Datsun, so

I have a very specific birth plan...

I have an idea that's gonna solve all of our problems here.

I have never seen you Do a back flip right now. Can I see one? Let's see one.

I have some pressing matter to deal with.

I have to defend your honor!

I haven't seen Maureen in, like, close to 15 years.

I haven't seen Maureen in, like, close to 15 years.

I hear you're my number one fan.

I heard you gave quite a performance, Macwell.

I heard you. I'm getting out. Okay?

I held up my end of the bargain.

I hope I get to see at least one ancient spirit.

I hope they have some cool, exotic creatures...

I hope you trash bags die at the bottom of this pool like Jamie Nelson did.

I I He's not afraid of me.

I I felt compelled to involve myself.

I I froze up. He's great.

I I I may have told him.

I I only thought it was fair that you assumed her debt...

I just I just jumped straight to default...

I just feel like their pool has gotta be better than this.

I just grabbed a whole bunch of shit. It's supposed to boost my immune system.

I just kidnapped Bill Ponderosa's kids.

I just saw you bite that dude.

I just stepped on broken glass. Ow!

I just thought it'd be cool. Put it in your ear. Put it in your mouth.

I just thought of my wish.

I just thought of one last thing that would be awesome. Give me your phone.

I just told you that 'cause you were making fun of me for eating the sandwich...

I just wanna be sure we get that spirit out of here.

I know I shouldn't and I'm just probably buying into the phone company's propaganda.

I know it's cute, you guys, but, come on, this isn't about us anymore.

I know she's just drunk, so it's okay.

I know what you mean. I'm feeling a lot of butterflies myself too.

I know, but his English sounds pretty good, and he's big too, right?

I know, but they haven't even touched their cheesecake.

I know, it feels like we're walking a lot here, bunny

I know.

I know. I can't believe there's such a big list.

I like dude stuff. Like what?

I like that move. What is that, a little motorcycle?

I like the way he's doing it.

I like to be comfy and current.

I like to call it "browning out."

I live on the fringe. Fringe class is where I am.

I lost all my friends too.

I lost all my friends.

I love people tripping all the time. Can I see that for a second?

I love you too, Maureen.

I made out with the waitress! That's amazing, man!

I mean, does my scar...

I mean, for God's sakes, Dennis, what message does that send?

I mean, God I mean, how long do I have to do this for?

I mean, I need somebody to take care of me when I'm old and sick.

I mean, if you're gonna be sexy, don't dress like a bird, Dee.

I mean, it's great, but you know what I mean.

I mean, look at my body compared to his.

I mean, marriage and divorce these days is like more of a formality than anything else.

I mean, that's God's work.

I mean, the first part of the ceremony was a little lame...

I mean, the money I laid out for this charity, they could have built a zoo.

I mean, trees? Everywhere trees? What the hell is this place?

I mean, we all agreed he was out of the

I mean, what is she even talking about?

I miss them shorts.

I miss ya, kid.

I moved in with her to take care of her and stuff like that.

I need a flashlight 'cause it's dark.

I need clean drinking water too!

I need you guys to buy some scuba equipment so I can stay down there longer.

I need you to grab Frank and Dee and get the hell out of there...

I need you to move out...

I never got a bachelor party. We should go to the strip club.

I never thought of it that way.

I own all of Steve Winwood's shit. You should know this.

I picked us up some new slacks and Docksiders...

I promise you that's what you look like. You can't dance for shit.

I put the phone in my front pocket.

I quit on it. I don't give a rat's ass about class.

I quit on that shit. You understand?

I refuse to share a room with an old man who likes to pretend to be dead.

I remember her dead tooth, dude.

I remember that night well.

I remember we were all in costume...

I said something else earlier that sounded a lot cooler than that.

I said, "Sure, I'll give it my best shot."

I say you bash its brains in right now.

I secured the area, and I retained order like I always do.

I see him.

I see that you have a towel. Where did you get that?

I see that you're wearing another one of those kitty cat sweatshirts

I see you received my invitation.

I see. And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?

I shouldn't still be drinking.

I slept in them shits, man.

I smell like shit.

I so enjoyed listening to you drunkenly explain all that at 3:00 a.m.

I started mentoring one of the kids here.

I support your plan, Frank, insofar as it insures...

I suppose I do recall a few bits and pieces.

I suppose I oughta

I sure did.

I taped over my Luther Vandross mix!

I tell you what though. I do love the car. Hands free, Blue

I tell you what, I did not mean to kidnap them.

I tell you what. I brought it up the kids are super stoked about it.

I think he sent me a picture.

I think he's right, dude.

I think I have a way for us to beat the heat tonight...

I think I might call her up actually.

I think I slipped a disk, man.

I think it was in poor taste that you were doing Murtaugh in whiteface.

I think Jamie Nelson would have liked this.

I think this is it, right here.

I think we should get some chalk and some erasers...

I think we're stuck.

I think what Charlie's mom is trying to say...

I think you're gonna be a sports celebrity after all...

I think your costume's weird, I think you're creepy...

I thought I was gonna get a phone call after the old snip snip...

I thought it would taste like chicken, but I was wrong.

I thought we established that there was going to be a phone call after the procedure.

I thought we told you guys to beat it.

I thought we would slip into a room...

I thought women our age didn't give hickeys anymore.

I threw it in there. You turkeys never open it, so I just started throwing it in the sewer.

I tire of this conversation.

I told you, Frank. That's crazy.

I tried to pop a hydrant, but there was no lookout, so I got shut down.

I tried to take Charlie, but he refused to go.

I try to stay open to it and just say yes.

I use it for the car because my stereo's busted.

I wake up, I find a dog sniffin' at my wound.

I wanna know why these two are rooting around in the sewer

I want that room now.

I want the three of you out of the bathroom. I'm talking to the clown.

I want to bash you, bunny.

I want to get a nice one too. You know?

I want to give you one good bash and eat your sweet, delicious meat.

I want to spend it with my husband.

I want to suck your blood!

I want you and your boy toy out of my apartment now!

I wanted to add a little fanfare into the situation...

I wanted to create that sort of gaunt, angular look with my cheekbones to impress him.

I was all amped up, 'cause Charlie and I found a bunch of nuts.

I was all pissy this morning about having to be at the hospital.

I was climbing up the mattress sort of like a ladder type situation.

I was drinking a lot back then, so if I did anything inappropriate

I was gonna peel out, and then you Don't take the steam out of it.

I was gonna say him too. Yeah, him, him.

I was in the back of the bar when the commotion began...

I was in the school musical. Frankenstein.

I was just gonna go meet up with the guys.

I was Man Spider.

I was really pissed off at you, because we agreed to go as Mario and Luigi.

I was so full of protein, okay?

I was starting to get pretty close to sealing the deal with the peacock lady.

I was thinking maybe we should throw him a surprise party.

I went to get my pump on, but I couldn't get my pump on.

I went to therapy. She forgave me for it.

I will beat your ass and think nothing of it.

I will divorce you, Maureen. I'll do it.

I will get this man out of your room. I will think of something awesome.

I will kill it. I'll kill it, and I'll eat it myself.

I will take this coupon and sneak out the back so Charlie doesn't see me.

I wonder if the dad even knows.

I would rather grab your head and wring your neck for wanting to kill this rabbit, all right?

I would, but she froze my assets.

I would've let you make me, uh make me into a mailbox.

I would've let you make me, uh make me into a mailbox.

I would've let you turn me into Swiss cheese.

I.C.P.!. Insane Clown Posse, yo.

I.C.P.!. Insane Clown Posse, yo.

I'd be capable of almost, well, pretty much anything.

I'd like the boat to be able to haul in a tremendous amount of shrimp

I'd like the boat to be able to haul in a tremendous amount of shrimp

I'd offer to pour you a drink, but you probably can't drink though...

I'd rather you didn't do that either.

I'd rather you didn't. I kinda want I might need it.

I'd rather you didn't. I kinda want I might need it.

I'd say at least a thousand.

I'd say there's a lot of love in this room.

I'll be happy when I'm far away from your sorry ass, Riggs.

I'll bet she's embarrassed

I'll clean this building so good, you're not gonna know what to do with yourself.

I'll do the jobs that the other guys don't want to do. I'll degrade myself.

I'll do the word.

I'll figure you out, you son of a bitch.

I'll get Deandra to take care of me. She'll take care of me.

I'll get right on that.

I'll get you a copy. Don't bootleg.

I'll give you 50 bucks if you take off your top..

I'll jiggle his ankle, and that will determine whether he's alive or not.

I'll just write back "Miss you too."

I'll keep the drawings, okay?

I'll make a genuine ass out of myself. Yeah.

I'll pick up one of my own and I'll eat that one. That way everybody wins.

I'll poke around the fridge and see if there's anything. Where's the beer?

I'll stay in a shelter.

I'll strip all these silly ass clothes off him, and I'll clean him sparkling clean.

I'll take your prawns if you want to take my salad.

I'll zing you. I'll zap you, I'll zing you.

I'm I'm sorry

I'm a hard body. You're a hard body.

I'm a little confused.

I'm a rat! I'm trapped like a

I'm a teacher now, Charlie. I'm subbing for Dr. Myers while he gets his hip fixed.

I'm a teacher now, so I got to get back to inspiring some students.

I'm all for it, and I think everyone should be entitled to it.

I'm backstage with Groban, and the party is pumpin '.

I'm bored to tears.

I'm confused. Are you gonna take the boat or not?

I'm confused. Uh

I'm done liking animals. This crow is eating me alive!

I'm embarrassing myself?

I'm excited. I am.

I'm gonna attack you.

I'm gonna be like a local sports legend.

I'm gonna be the judge of that contest.

I'm gonna bring one in so you can see it.

I'm gonna bring some students from the classroom by, and we're gonna screen a movie there.

I'm gonna donate another $5,000 to this charity right now.

I'm gonna drop him in one of these rooms if I can find an empty one.

I'm gonna eat spaghetti.

I'm gonna find a Bible, I'm gonna come back, and I'm gonna school you sons of bitches.

I'm gonna find us something to eat.

I'm gonna finish this up in my bedroom.

I'm gonna get up there and lace into these liberal nut jobs.

I'm gonna get you, wabbit.

I'm gonna go out there and take a wicked slap shot. You know?

I'm gonna go to the car, get a blanket...

I'm gonna have a catch with Chase Utley.

I'm gonna keep diving, looking for it.

I'm gonna level with you, pal.

I'm gonna live in the now right now.

I'm gonna need some more of that.

I'm gonna need you to either buy your own membership, or get out.

I'm gonna pull the plug, but first I'm gonna draw up some documents.

I'm gonna suggest that we give the two coupons to Dee...

I'm gonna take care of you now, but when I'm old and sick, you have to take care of me.

I'm gonna take this raccoon of yours and bash it into a telephone pole.

I'm insanely high on mescaline.

I'm Jack Kelly. I'm a lawyer.

I'm jumping in the pool!

I'm just saying it's just about doing it tastefully, okay?

I'm just saying that's how black people talk. That's not racist.

I'm just, like, some weird Italian plumber. I look like an asshole.

I'm like, "You're just my friend! Get your sex off me!"

I'm loving that idea, but my mom's gonna be a tough sell, man.

I'm moving in. Also, I need to get on your gym membership...

I'm never going to admit that, Carmen.

I'm not a gay man.

I'm not a prostitute. I think that's that's clear.

I'm not admitting shit because I did get into that pool.

I'm not doing this with you today. I'm not! I'm not!

I'm not drunk. I'm more sober than I've ever been in my entire life.

I'm not fat. I'm pregnant.

I'm not getting any bars though. You getting any bars, Frank?

I'm not going anywhere 'cause this suit is, like, chafing me up like crazy.

I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna miss that show, Frank. I'm a Grobanite.

I'm not gonna put myself into one of those crypts.

I'm not gonna say anything. I'm

I'm not gonna tell you who the father is.

I'm not gonna vacuum your ceiling.

I'm not impressed. Big tough guys, huh? Big tough guys!

I'm not leaving here until you apologize to me.

I'm not leaving here until you apologize to me.

I'm not sure about that, but either way, good glue work.

I'm not the dad, okay, Charlie? Just trust me on that.

I'm not trying to jam you up. I just don't believe you.

I'm not walking, 'cause I got a baby on board, my feet hurt.

I'm only gonna be here for 10 minutes.

I'm out of Philly, I'm alive, and I'm not afraid of truckers anymore.

I'm out of the gang?

I'm pretty sure at a certain point...

I'm psyched, dude. That's great. So you're Yeah. Okay.

I'm pulling the plug on this whole thing, all right?

I'm putting out a feeler call.

I'm ready for this. Being married to Charlie's got me all confused.

I'm saying exactly what I want to say.

I'm saying I wanna be the dad too. I'm totally into it.

I'm saying it now. I'll say it. You have a dead tooth. You realize that, right?

I'm saying it. I don't care. It's coming out of my mouth.

I'm saying that in the eyes of the Lord, your marriage is an abomination...

I'm saying we shouldn't get boxed out for it. It's bullshit.

I'm serious. You could be a hand model. You've got the goods.

I'm so glad you called, Charlie.

I'm so pumped, dude.

I'm so sorry. It's gonna be a quick question. Charlie. You remember me, right?

I'm sorry, but we're simply opening ourselves up...

I'm sorry, dude. He's white trash.

I'm sorry. Do I know you?

I'm sorry. How would you have heard that I was getting a divorce?

I'm sorry. I can't let you in.

I'm sorry. The woman who brought you into the world and raised you needs you...

I'm still a little bit confused as to why in the hell you two got married in the first place.

I'm still pumped up from that ass whooping I just handed out. Did you see that?

I'm sure. Yeah. I'm gonna assume you guys aren't members here.

I'm taking it perfectly seriously.

I'm taking you to New York City.

I'm talking about the Halloween party, where one of you got me pregnant.

I'm talking about the sounds of hot, passionate lovemaking...

I'm that character from Lord of the Rings, "Viggio Morgenstein."

I'm the boy toy.

I'm the guy who wipes down the loads.

I'm thinking we go with a Hawaiian trip hop...

I'm tightening the purse strings on this relationship...

I'm tired of being in weird places, Frank, 'cause I'm trapped like a rat.

I'm tired today, you know?

I'm trapped like a rat.

I'm trying to be less cynical. And Frank is totally right. The surprise is the way to go.

I'm trying to make the TV go.

I'm turning it off.

I'm very much looking forward to not taking care of anyone when I'm older.

I'm wiping all the germs off for you.

I'm, like, a die hard fan. We're called Juggalos.

I've been boning up on my animal rights literature...

I've been starving myself for a few days for Chase.

I've got huge news. So I went down to the gym this morning, right?

If animals have taught me anything...

If he wants a werm... hat

If he's related to Charles Grodin, he is. Don't worry about that.

If I didn't know any better...

If I didn't know any better...

If it's not Dennis, who is it?

If that makes you feel any

If this kid is mine, I'm gonna blow my brains out.

If we do that domestic partnership thing that gay guys can do...

If we have a little bit of money, we can clean it up

If we knew you were doing this stupid surrogate thing again...

If you bring Cricket in here we could rail on him about the homeless issue.

If you do not get my sister her stories and a new room as soon as possible...

If you don't come with me to the movie...

If you don't sit down and shut up and watch the movie...

If you guys were there, you would know how we feel.

If you leave now...

If you make it, you win two V.I.P. passes...

If you needed a back flip, I'd be up that wall in a second, bro.

If you wanna be an elitist, get yourself a tailor.

If you want him to be fancy.

If you want to wear your clown makeup in school, wear it.

If you're not gonna take this seriously

If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished...

In a Dumpster out in the back of Wendy's.

In a good way, if I'm being unclear.

In addition to the alimony payments, of course.

In fact, I wrote you this check 10 years ago...

In fact, the opposite. You were, like, the most inspiring teacher I had.

In the back of your dad's Datsun behind this place?

In The Lord of the Rings movie, Ian McKellen plays a wizard.

In the meantime, we'll clear all this stuff off.

In the simplest

In whatever dimension we live in.

In which I personally have never experienced.

Inaugural podcast. We're talking technology today. The big "T."

Including the one that I made with the guys Lethal Weapon 5.

Informing her decision as to whether she sleeps with me or not.

Insanely masculine.

Instead you called this soft body and you gay married him.

Invite Duncan and crew."

Is a hat for your worm.

Is a lot more interesting than the shit they're talking about on the radio.

Is because you were totally right about this marriage thing, okay?

Is for us to all put our browns together...

Is gonna get to come down to the Flyers game with us tomorrow night...

Is I'm not gonna beat the shit out of you, so let's go.

Is it all right if we have you up to speak now?

Is it bleeding? Is it happening?

Is it?

Is one of the greatest things you can do for him.

Is some sort of a P. Diddy style shrimping vessel.

Is that Mexican music?

Is that Mrs. Mac has a unique and earthy fragrance.

Is that the busboy from the Korean restaurant?

Is that the McPoyles were there, and they were drinking milk...

Is that what I think it is?

Is that why you guys were doing all that weird shit with me today?

Is that, like, a sexual thing?

Is there something wrong with that?

Is this 'cause you guys are still all pissed off about not getting into that swim club?

Is to berate you for hanging out with people under a bridge...

Is what you call...

Isn't stuff supposed to pop out at us?

It definitely sounds like that, 'cause I remember crying!

It does seem to be working.

It doesn't eat the egg and grow strong and become a baby?

It doesn't matter, dude. I love that song. Let's buy that CD.

It happens, you know. He was getting up there, right?

It has nothing to do with your present circumstances.

It is a special bond between two people in love...

It mashed right into it. We all thought he was gonna lose it.

It means, "Not right now, but there's a possibility that I could get to it tomorrow."

It needs to live in the wild...

It probably goes beyond Jenner.

It seems like what you guys are looking for...

It smelled like she was nibbling on little pieces of shit.

It stings like Ah!

It sure is.

It takes discipline to raise a kid, you know?

It was a bad shirt. It was an ugly shirt hideous really.

It was a little uncomfortable. I'm glad we got our little "heart to heart"

It was a real jerk move. I'm really sorry I did it, and I like animals now.

It was Artemis that took advantage of you...

It was fun. Hey, Mac.

It was only supposed to be a 45 minute drive.

It was taking a little while because I was doing a presentation

It was taking a little while because I was doing a presentation

It was the cutest thing I've ever seen.

It was, like, boom! I really hit her with it. And I never reference the Nordic gods.

It would essentially void your partnership.

It'd be a total waste of money.

It'll be some big Italian lug, and he'll fish us out of here.

It's a bar

It's a flyer. Look at these chicks. And an anchor.

It's a hat made of worms, okay?

It's a much more modern day example of blackface.

It's a shrimp boat. I'd like to have at least one conversation about shrimp.

It's a sterling silver clover ring.

It's actually a testament to your gym.

It's actually gone. I had the surgery.

It's all about opening up your pores, Charlie.

It's all acting! Everywhere there's acting.

It's all in here! All right. Okay. Think about this for a second.

It's always been him. I don't know why I didn't see that before.

It's an opportunity to share your unique experiences.

It's bad enough I let you buy that stupid inflatable guy from the car lot.

It's bad on me too. All right. I got you.

It's between two people who decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together...

It's certainly gonna be a lot better than sticking around the bar all night...

It's coming home with us, Dennis, so just accept it, all right?

It's coming up here. This Yeah, this is it right here.

It's cool now.

It's cool, you guys, I got it. I got it. We can eat.

It's crazy. It's astronomical.

It's Dee and Dennis, dude. They'll rescue us.

It's down? It's going?

It's far too late for you.

It's fatness, Frank, plain and simple. It's a person becoming fat before your eyes.

It's fine. I had some bad spaghetti spaghetti

It's from when Frank hit me with the trash can.

It's going to get nuts out there, fellas, right?

It's going? Open up. Put your head back.

It's gonna be a little bit boring.

It's gonna pay for itself 10 times over.

It's gonna take you a little while to flip through it 'cause that book is long as shit.

It's good enough to eat.

It's good to get away from the wife and kids for a little bit let the hair down.

It's good to really get to know her before, you know, uh, she moves on.

It's got me thinking about myself and my situation...

It's got nothing to do with the music.

It's got the man's soul, Dee.

It's gotta be a guy's night, that's why.

It's grass, Mac. You're eating grass.

It's incredibly annoying, and it's all anyone's gonna be able to hear.

It's just sort of something that you do, right?

It's like

It's like a dead tooth It's the dead tooth.

It's like her breath is, like, always so bad.

It's like whole generations of those things have died at my hands, and

It's Mac.

It's not about being funny at all, okay? It's about

It's not as severe as a blackout, 'cause I remember bits and pieces.

It's not going to eat my mother's face off.

It's not her style. But she started at the bottom, worked her way to the tippy top.

It's not really a Golden Girls type conversation.

It's not really any of my business. But this is really bumming me out, okay?

It's not the puffy guy. It's this music

It's not time for questions. I'll let you know when it's time for questions though, okay?

It's okay. That's all right. I'm doing something nice here.

It's one of the attendants. He's walking around with... a ghetto blaster...

It's only 80 miles. You know how quick that trip would be?

It's our marriage certificate. Now we're married. Boom.

It's pretty good. But you gotta use a little bit more shoulder.

It's pretty sweet here. Okay?

It's right there.

It's sad. It's sad.

It's shameful, but that's the way it is.

It's shockingly true. Yeah, yeah.

It's sincere this time. You're just a little sensitive to it now.

It's so boring. There's nothing going on in there.

It's so much more romantic in the middle of nowhere...

It's that you can easily die, and very quickly, under a bus and on the side of the road.

It's the keys. I threw 'em right at ya.

It's the stupid sexy costume!

It's Twilight time! Time for blood sucking.

It's very private. Probably way more private than your piece of shit pool.

It's what's right with me, and that's this little piece of paper here that we just signed.

It's your lucky day. We want you back.

It's, like, "Oh, I'm gonna see Bill Ponderosa."

It's, like, a racist conversation, but

James Earl Jones has a black face! He's a black man.

James Earl Jones is doing a great blackface.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus, man, I'm sorry. Fine, I'll call her.

Jesus. You're still worried about that?

Josh Groban likes his ladies to pop, so

Josh Groban. Artemis and I got backstage passes to his concert in the park tomorrow.

Josh Groban. Oh. Is he Charles Grodin's son?

Just Please stop talking.

Just a little victory dance.

Just before you threw yourself on the funeral pyre.

Just blow out the candles, Rog. Make a wish.

Just go ahead and sign us up.

Just let me know when you're done.

Just let me set the loop and here I come!

Just make believe I'm your slave.

Just open the slot and put whatever you want inside.

Just put it in. Be careful. This is so stupid.

Just stop it.

Just toss it to me real quick.

Just us and our tasty treats.

Keep your eye on her.

Kids spend all their time on the Internet. "Hi. Who are you?

Kids, don't touch the blood.

Killed a horse and then jumped in the ocean.

Kind of a downer, that story though. Kind of a downer.

Kind of wormed your way into our situation.

Knock, knock, dick faces.

Knock, knock, knock. Uh, am I interrupting?

Knowing that Charlie was the weakest...

Lamb of God who takes away

Lamb of God who taketh away the souls of the world

Last Halloween. Hmm.

Laundry's done!

Laurence Olivier in Othello.

Let 'em do it. It's no skin off my ass.

Let it ride, please. Let it ride. Keep it coming.

Let me just see if I have this right here

Let me set the damn record straight.

Let me tell you something, my friend. You were teaching me.

Let me walk in front of you so you don't get your blood all over my feet.

Let's all walk, and we'll find some help, okay?

Let's be friends with benefits, right?

Let's bring the party back to the bar. Bring the music. Let's go.

Let's do this.

Let's find out.

Let's get back to shrimping. I'm gonna toss this shit. It's crap anyway.

Let's get going! Mac from South Philly, get out here!

Let's get some pucks. All right?

Let's get the hell out of here. What do you say?

Let's get weird, buddy. Let's get weird.

Let's go harass Charlie and Dee.

Let's go, Richie. You're getting cleaned up. Come on!

Let's go.

Let's go. And I got my eyes on you guys for the rest of the year.

Let's go. I'm your husband. Give me some money.

Let's hear it for Mac!

Let's just figure it out. Let's put our heads together. Come on. Think, think.

Let's just find the dog, and we'll talk about it there.

Let's just get out Let's just get out of here.

Let's make the poor bastard feel special.

Let's not rush to judgment, okay?

Let's see what happens, and then we'll take it from there.

Let's see, we've got the great C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man.

Let's see. Ooh.

Let's talk about you guys. Why don't you tell me, uh, what your favorite play is.

Let's talk needs, please. I'd like to talk needs first.

Let's try a new tack. Everybody, calm down. This isn't working.

Like don't have 'em doing cocaine.

Like my tribe!

Like now, like right away.

Like some kind of 14 year old kid or something. You remember feelings, right?

Like the feathers.

Like the gust of a thousand winds!

Like this rusty bike frame?

Like you're not dressed like a giant bird?

Like, give me some crack. You know what I'm sayin', dawg?

Like, I found all these old pretty little dolls. She's pretty, right?

Like, uh, let's see We got a Gregg Jefferies baseball card.

Like, why would we put such stupid stuff in here?

Like, you know, like a tiny bowl of cream you don't want to spill...

Lisa, how's the G.P.A.? Keep it up, up, up, up, up!

Listen to me. Listen to me!

Listen, buddy, you gotta let us in the pool. It's so hot.

Listen, I came to talk to you about high school. I

Listen, I I don't want to get into your personal life, you know what I mean?

Listen, I know you have a lot of anxiety going on right now.

Listen, I need you to do something for me. Can you clear out the bar?

Listen, I thought I was teaching you today.

Listen, I want to just say I'm really sorry about about the kids.

Listen, I'm gonna call us a tow truck and get us out of here.

Listen, we're trying to piece together a night, and we need some guidance.

Listen. All right, number one, it's a win win for both of us.

Listen. We're gonna find help.

Look at Yeah!

Look at her!

Look at her!

Look at this. Look at this. Look what I can do.

Look at us with our new careers, huh? How 'bout that?

Look at you. Look at you!

Look like a dog's vagina?

Look on the bright side, dude.

Look what she was doing with the mail, for Christ sakes.

Look what this kid has ruined already. He's ruined my transmission.

Look who got a brand new car.

Look who it is. Wow! Guys, you remember Maureen Ponderosa, right?

Look, can we do this thing, for crying out loud?

Look, Charlie is a survivor. All right?

Look, dude, I say it's time we take matters into our own hands with this.

Look, dude, we'll pay you first, and then help us out of here.

Look, dude, you've been bugging me all night, okay?

Look, I came here to help you guys, okay?

Look, I do not give a shit about your problems, Dee, okay?

Look, I need you to understand this, okay?

Look, I'm thinking that I gotta throw up.

Look, if anything, you're the one that slept with me when I was a man.

Look, if you see that "beeyatch," tell her to get her ass down here...

Look, Jack, we just want to get back to where we were.

Look, the point is the reason I came over here...

Look, think about your wife. Remember, you said you love your wife.

Look, you guys need to make a decision right now, okay? It is either him, or it is me!

Mac and Dennis are making me clean up.

Mac from South Philly has cemented himself...

Mac had blood all over his knuckles and went to the bathroom to wash it off.

Mac kicked her out of the bathroom...

Mac was making love to Sweet Dee in the bathroom...

Mac, get my back!

Mac, get my back.

Mac, help me, please! I need you!

Mac, wake up!

Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!

Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!

Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!

Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!

Mac! Mac! Wake up!

Mac! Mac! Wake up!

Magoo never made that mistake.

Make the whole thing feel like a fun, fun romp.

Man, come here and wrestle with us, dude.

Man, I ain't seen the first couple, though.

Man, I got a whole plan.

Man, I'm gonna have to keep tinkering with the A.C. 'cause I can't feel it at all.

Man, my guess is, you've been confused for a very long time.

Man, now this is a boat.

Man, the old diving pool.

Man, this is unbelievable. Working at a bar? Running a bar?

Marriage is about procreation, okay?

Mash them together and try and figure out which one of you two banged my sister.

Maureen Ponderosa was my girlfriend in 10th grade, and we were so in love.

Maureen?

May you rot in hell, you wretched beast!

Maybe because your rival tribe owns the water rights to half of Los Angeles.

Maybe I can get you, like, a beer bottle. Would that be okay?

Maybe I could give it a quick whirl in the basement...

Maybe I'll suffocate you. I'll suffocate your rabbit face.

Maybe it's about having an adventure, you know? An open ocean adventure.

Maybe this whole thing isn't about meeting girls.

Maybe you were at a supermarket one time, and you met a cute guy...

Me neither. I can't stand them.

Mistress? I'm his wife! Kids, let's go.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. What do you guys want?

Mm mmm. Don't you get it, dude?

Mmm, with the touching. With the touching. None of that.

Mmm!

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mom, do you want to take a look at that fan and see if you can fix it?

Mom, Mom! Calm down! Calm down! Listen to me.

Mom, no, not me. You got to talk to her, okay? Don't talk to me.

More in control. Yeah.

Most important part of the

Mothers, fathers, grandfathers, little baby rats.

Moving along to art holdings. All I'm seeing is a series of drawings of elephants.

Mr. Duncan, we were wondering if we could talk to you about

Mr. Duncan, we were wondering if you could come to a surprise party for Charlie.

Mr. Reynolds here is one of our largest new donors.

Mrs. Baines, I am sorry if they were harassing you.

Mrs. Schmit. Hey, it's, uh it's Dennis.

Must be hot, huh? Oh! Hey, you! Mr. Hottie!

Must have been the Funyuns or something. I don't know. Whatever. It doesn't matter.

My enthusiasm in those days was fueled entirely by the alcohol.

My friend and I, we're trying to get a gay marriage situation going on...

My God! Dee, you clearly have something you want to say. So let's just get it over with.

My mom does not like to be woken up, Mrs. Kelly!

My mom's very good with her hands. Maybe she can fix it.

My name is Dee Reynolds, and not only am I a professional actress and comedienne...

My opinion?

My sex tapes. Yeah.

My water just broke!

Neither of you would be the woman. You're both men!

Nevertheless, I brought you some stuff a little bit of care package here.

Next thing you know, I'm wearing a wig for the rest of my life just to keep up appearances.

Nice setup, fellas.

No Um

No girl has ever had this effect on me, so I don't know how to deal with it. It's crazy.

No laws. Right, boys?

No one should be bringing anything onto the boat.

No one's patronizing you, all right? Here's what we'll do.

No one's putting you in the trash. Stop saying that. Will you stop?

No problem. Speaking of parties, you guys wanna do a little

No way. Shoe polish? And he's on your side.

No, Charlie, I wasn't trying to take you for a spaghetti day.

No, Charlie. I don't want to hang out. I I have a job.

No, come on, you guys! That's

No, Dee, it's a classic, okay? It's Shakespeare.

No, Dee. That's exactly what you look like.

No, did you discover a bird with teeth in this fashion?

No, don't dump her down by the bridge. What are you talking

No, Frank, we don't have anything in the car...

No, I don't remember you.

No, I have. Eew! Weird!

No, I heard you. You said a bunch of words. Look at this.

No, I totally get it. Once you pop, you can't stop, am I right?

No, I want to have a proper burial for him.

No, I went with a sexier look.

No, I wouldn't whup on you with anything, whether you were my slave or not.

No, I'm not acting, you bitch!

No, I'm not doing that. Absolutely not. You're on your own.

No, I'm not going in.

No, it's all my money. You lost yours when you said no to the trucker.

No, it's Dee.

No, it's not That's not a lesion. It's a hickey.

No, it's still imagination based.

No, man, none taken, because we're not whores.

No, my dear. You must give up. You must.

No, no, Frank. Dude, get these guys out of here, all right?

No, no, no, no, no, no, I don't. I don't really.

No, no, no, no. Don't do that.

No, no, no, no. I'm gonna be as quiet as a mouse.

No, no, no. Come on in. Grab a drink.

No, no, no. Come on in. Grab a drink.

No, no, no. I'd better not be getting sick. I can't be getting sick.

No, no, no. No, stick around, dude. Stick Stick around.

No, no, no. No, stick around, dude. Stick Stick around.

No, no, no. Stop yourself right there. We would not know how it feels...

No, no, we're completely sober. But you guys drank a lot though.

No, no! Oh, goddamn it!

No, no. Different guy. Josh Groban is who I'm talking about.

No, no. Leave my name out of it.

No, no. No, not dead. Very much alive.

No, no. That's not what I'm gonna do.

No, nobody's bringing any trashy inflatable man on this boat.

No, none of you are the father.

No, not at all. But I figured you would teach me, 'cause we got plenty of time.

No, shrimp is a very small aspect of the whole

No, thank you.

No, thanks. I'm cool, Professor.

No, they're not terrorists! They're just Muslims.

No, those are barnacles. Do not eat those. Do not serve them to us.

No, we're not doing the Civil War section, Frank.

No, we're not in A.C. because Mac wrecked the car, and now we're stranded somewhere.

No, you did a great job, Frank. I'm not talking about that. Your villain was amazing.

No, you have to take Charlie with you to the spa.

No, you know what? Actually this could bring up a pretty good issue.

No, you need to be there, Frank. That's the whole point of this. Just take her to your apartment.

No!

No!

No! Charlie, that is completely different, and you know it.

No! Deandra, what the hell are you doing?

No! I can't take any more bashing today, all right?

No! No! Groban!

No! Where Where is the teacher that I knew?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Absolutely not. No. Why did you have to bring spaghetti

No. God, no. Please close your legs up. That's

No. Hold on a second. That wasn't me.

No. I can tell by your stare that the answer is no.

No. I don't drink. You know that. I think it makes people look ugly.

No. I don't want to play that game anymore. All right. Crack my back.

No. I only donated all this money so I could make a mockery of their cause.

No. I think I got it.

No. It was What's going on? Who are all these people?

No. It's just you.

No. Marriage is a wonderful thing.

No. No, Charlie, this is about the big man upstairs, okay, getting boxed out.

No. No, I was gonna say it was because of a pattern of discrimination...

No. No, no, no, no. Can't you stay in a hotel or something?

No. No! No dogs. Charlie, tell them.

No. Rent the cheap stuff. Just rent some cheap stuff, all right?

No. She usually just yells at me...

No. That's a guarantee you can't make, Dee, all right?

No. Wait. Stop, guys. This is not right.

No. We don't want them to know we didn't get into the private swim club.

No. We gotta get rid of all this shit.

No. What he's saying is really stupid, but it's sincere, okay?

No. You fell on your face almost immediately, man.

Nobody eats a crow. It's a trash bird.

Nobody really wants to see that.

Nobody washes the dishes! We eat the food directly off the coffee table and you know it!

Nobody's gonna make an offer before I finish my thing.

Not anymore. But you are. About 90K.

Not at all.

Not everybody. Sit back down.

Not from you!

Not just yet, okay? Please, have a seat.

Not now, obviously, unless the war is happening here. Is the war happening here?

Not okay. Not okay at all.

Not potentially. It is a life changing opportunity. It is!

Not that he could.

Not that little, you know? Regular size.

Not you, Bill. Now I want this to be over with right now!

Nothing but relaxation going on over here.

Now do I write the word "too," or should I write the number "2"?

Now hear me out. It was kind of a gift.

Now let's see. Start with this beautiful baby here.

Now secondly and this is gonna be kind of hard to hear

Now that is a direct order from your captain.

Now that you are Riggs and not Murtaugh...

Now, gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for.

Now, I have the need for speed. It's very important. It's inherent.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Now, in hindsight that does seem a little rash.

Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her...

Now, secondly, if this is gonna work...

Now, the United States of America is engaged in both of these wars?

Now, they're not gonna be as good as mine just was, but listen...

Now, this lady, she sounded like she was in a fair amount of distress...

Now, what do you guys think? They're good almonds, right?

Now, whether that means Charlie running into his ancient spirits...

Now, while we all feel robbed of him here on Earth...

Now, you get yourself on that couch.

Now, you've said that word "implication" a couple of times.

Nursing home? Do you have any idea what happens in those places, dude?

Of course you're gonna wear the duster. That's gonna look awesome.

Of course. All right.

Of course. We were running around trying to figure out who the father is.

Of lovemaking coming from inside.

Oh

Oh

Oh, "miss you more." That's classic Maureen right there.

Oh, a day in the life.

Oh, baby, look out.

Oh, can we? Well, maybe we will.

Oh, Charlie, the funniest thing happened today when I was doing the laundry.

Oh, Charlie. Charlie, you got 'em?

Oh, check this out, Mac and Dennis.

Oh, Chief!

Oh, come on. You didn't want me to really wear that thing, did ya?

Oh, congratulations to you.

Oh, congratulations, Ms. Ponderosa.

Oh, Dickless Dennis. But it doesn't apply...

Oh, dude.

Oh, everybody up on their high horse of marriage all of a sudden.

Oh, food's here! Food is here.

Oh, Frank, you were absolutely right.

Oh, God, you you've gotta be kidding me. Come on.

Oh, God, you know what? It doesn't matter.

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Ahh! Get that away from me. It reeks. What is that?

Oh, God. I don't I don't Okay, I'm gonna go in here. Jesus.

Oh, God. I got it.

Oh, God. I think he's dead. I think he's dead, Dennis. He's definitely dead.

Oh, goddamn it! I got milk all over me!

Oh, good.

Oh, gosh. That is too bad.

Oh, guys Keep up the good work.

Oh, he got zooted, man. He took an eight ball to the dome.

Oh, he's a singer.

Oh, he's getting himself all worked up, huh?

Oh, hold on. I'm getting a call.

Oh, I bartered fringe style with that guy over there.

Oh, I don't know. What do guys talk about? Condoms.

Oh, I think what Mac is trying to say is not that we'll take the dog

Oh, I'm embarrassing?

Oh, it popped back out.

Oh, it's when you drink so much that everything goes brown.

Oh, Jesus Christ. This is like a goddamn zoo.

Oh, Jesus. All right. Mac and I and Charlie will go find some help. Okay?

Oh, look at that!

Oh, man, that was close. Now you see where I get my temper, huh?

Oh, man!

Oh, man! Come on, guys! Have some dignity, some respect for yourselves.

Oh, man! Come on, guys! Have some dignity, some respect for yourselves.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, man. So much romance. Mmm.

Oh, man. You just cannot get enough, huh?

Oh, Mom.

Oh, Mr. Reynolds.

Oh, my Just lie there.

Oh, my God, dude. Don't start in on this.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! I'm getting pissed off!

Oh, my God! We're gonna be in charge of the kid?

Oh, my God! You are such an asshole! I followed you, okay?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I just found a rat's nest.

Oh, my God. Mac's gonna have a fit, dude.

Oh, my God. That's what we're gonna do.

Oh, my God. There are shards of broken glass all over the bottom of the pool.

Oh, my God. What is the matter with him?

Oh, my God. What the hell did you do to our boat?

Oh, my God. Who's in attendance? How many people?

Oh, my God. You sons of bitches.

Oh, my goodness. I'm having to do everything.

Oh, no, no, it's not nec You don't need to eat the eraser to prove your point.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I am not saying another word until I get the chicken.

Oh, no, no, no. No, not at all.

Oh, no, she took me to a movie.

Oh, no, they don't. Young ladies do though.

Oh, no. He's fine.

Oh, no. I'm not gonna marry you, if that's where this is headed.

Oh, no. No, it's no big deal. It's just Bill Ponderosa.

Oh, no. That guy. There's no guy.

Oh, not bad. Yeah, not bad. I'm getting a divorce.

Oh, now this is good radio!

Oh, oh, okay. Well, in the interest of not being cynical...

Oh, oh, really? Well, what time is your section from, Mac?

Oh, really? Do you ever stop for one second and think about...

Oh, right! You're a really good listener...

Oh, right. I just keep paying medical bills, right? Is that it?

Oh, shit, and then the cops come and he gets

Oh, shit, I feel like the conversation we've been having the last five minutes...

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit! Lethal Weapon 5! This is great.

Oh, shit! Level three, son!

Oh, shit! You got a lesion, dude.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. I'm gonna be sick.

Oh, sorry. Uh

Oh, thank God. That was close.

Oh, thank you. Thank you for your suggestion.

Oh, that guy was like a walking cliché.

Oh, that is that is tart!

Oh, that's that's too bad.

Oh, that's entirely possible. Yeah, it wouldn't slow him down though. He's a survivor.

Oh, that's entirely possible. Yeah, it wouldn't slow him down though. He's a survivor.

Oh, that's it You're gay.

Oh, that's okay. I took care of the food already.

Oh, that's pretty sweet. You want to toss some inspiration my way?

Oh, the ceiling fan is gonna push all the smoke outside the windows.

Oh, the Hulk! The Incredible Hulk!

Oh, the music.

Oh, there we go.

Oh, these? They're just, like, third dimension glasses, you know?

Oh, this is gonna be

Oh, uh

Oh, uh, I'm sorry. What are you doing here?

Oh, wait. My phone's ringing. Hang on. My phone's ringing.

Oh, wait. This is the guy you were telling me about.

Oh, well, Schmitty, um, honestly, we came around here because we, um

Oh, well, that is a serious thing.

Oh, well, that makes sense. Mac slept with her at the party.

Oh, well, we, uh we came to ya...

Oh, well, we're gonna sc**** the boat. We are gonna sc**** the boat.

Oh, what's up? What's with the sheet?

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, whoa. Oh, I think Poppins got into the juice.

Oh, yeah, I'm with you. I bet you don't even have any black people here.

Oh, yeah, like a serial killer.

Oh, yeah, so I did have sex with the peacock lady.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah? How about if you guys don't leave...

Oh, yeah? Oh, she's fixing the fan?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And you know what? We just need a couple of sponsors.

Oh, yeah. Frank. I know that bitch.

Oh, yeah. I didn't enjoy any of it.

Oh, yeah. It was one of those. One of those, huh?

Oh, yeah. That's not a bad idea. Mrs. Mac, what do you say?

Oh, yeah. The tranny's the dad.

Oh, yeah. Well, Charlie did the elephant drawings.

Oh, yeah. You get your back fixed. What's in it for me?

Oh, yes! All right!

Oh, you guys are cute. You're still gonna have to pay full price.

Oh, you know, there's countless examples of very classy actors doing blackface.

Oh, you were such a hideous delight in that show.

Oh, you're a sex addict, huh?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! "Wermhat."

Oh! Hey!

Oh! Hot dog! Now we're cooking with gas!

Oh! It doesn't feel good. This sucks. This sucks a bag of dicks.

Oh! Oh, Maureen Ponderosa!

Oh! Oh, oh! Don't take that from him.

Oh! Oh, okay! That's good!

Oh! Oh! That's a Oh, you That's too generous.

Oh! Shirt! I love this shirt.

Oh! Well, no, it's hardly noticeable. Hardly noticeable.

Oh! Who's in the hot seat now?

Oh! Whoa!

Oh! You guys! You guys, a car!

Oh! Zing! Boom boom!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Hang on a second.

Oh. I wish I could, but I got to go to work.

Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

Oh. No.

Oh. So Charlie doesn't die.

Oh. Sorry, guys.

Oh. The Muslims are back.

Oh. Uh, okay.

Oh. Um

Oh. Well What am I gonna do with all my stuff?

Oh. What are you doing? Are you gonna throw up?

Oh. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah, the tuxes.

Okay Wait. Was that a text?

Okay, all right, well, uh, listen, let's get into the issues here.

Okay, Ben is a soldier. He's in the war probably.

Okay, buddy, I love you, but go back to your family now.

Okay, but keep in mind I am gonna be wearing the duster.

Okay, but let's not overuse the "brown" thing right in the beginning, you know.

Okay, Dee, since you didn't invest any money in this venture...

Okay, Dee, so are you saying get a job here as the janitor...

Okay, don't give us your judgments, all right?

Okay, dude, now we're both in agreement.

Okay, enough of that. Guys, let's get set up for a screening.

Okay, fine. Dee, come with me.

Okay, great! Frank, what's with the purse?

Okay, great. Um

Okay, guys, my gut is telling me to throw this book in the trash.

Okay, guys, my gut is telling me to throw this book in the trash.

Okay, having fun. # Thank you for being a friend #

Okay, here goes.

Okay, here's what you do, okay?

Okay, hold on a second. You're willing to shell out tons of money for a charity...

Okay, honey, don't get up. Stay right where you are.

Okay, I admit this is more paperwork than I expected, all right?

Okay, I got it. We'll get that idiot lawyer that helps us out. He does good by us.

Okay, I like the wig idea in spirit.

Okay, I remember this now. I remember this, all right?

Okay, I see what's happening here.

Okay, I think I know someone who will take both our cases.

Okay, I think this is it. Now this is much more our speed.

Okay, I will now begin the ceremony...

Okay, I'll untie you if you promise to remember that I took care of you good.

Okay, I'm a little bit drunk I'm totally drunk, but my mind is sober.

Okay, I'm pregnant, and you haven't offered me coupons...

Okay, I'm scraping those little delicious oysters off the bottom, right?

Okay, it's an implication of danger.

Okay, let's get started.

Okay, look, it takes a big man to admit defeat...

Okay, Mac, your mom burned down her house with a cigarette, right?

Okay, Mom, don't put yourself down, okay? We talked about this.

Okay, next guest!

Okay, now, my first instinct...

Okay, okay, yeah, let it ride.

Okay, okay. Well, that's Now, Mrs. Mac, I would never ask you to give up tobacco...

Okay, ready. Hey, ho, here we go!

Okay, so first things first.

Okay, that is not the character's name. That's the actor's name.

Okay, that's enough, all right?

Okay, there it is. Al Jolson in The Jazz Singer.

Okay, this is a great teacher...

Okay, this is exciting, Mac! This is exciting!

Okay, those are bad examples, okay?

Okay, we are back.

Okay, well, Charlie is not an example of good health, so

Okay, well, I just want to clarify.

Okay, well, I think we can both agree...

Okay, well, I'm gonna hang up, okay? Hanging up.

Okay, well, I'm gonna need the car to get over there.

Okay, well, that makes you mad. Take it up with her!

Okay, well, the fan is broken. It hasn't worked for years.

Okay, what is it that they're doing? What is this that they're doing?

Okay, what is it you're trying to say, Mac?

Okay, you know what? I was wrong, dude.

Okay, you know what? Let's just watch the movie and stop with our smart mouths.

Okay, you know what? Shoo. Shoo. Get out of here. Shoo. Shoo!

Okay, you're drunk. Why don't we just go to bed

Okay, you're saying that because I went into the back office alone with Dennis...

Okay! That's good! You guys are roommates now, so maybe you can get to know one another.

Okay! We're leavin'

Okay? That's it.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Daddy's here. Take it easy, honey.

Okay. Do my laundry.

Okay. Except on my work days. I do have to go to work.

Okay. Good morning, everybody. Hi. Good morning.

Okay. Hey, listen. Frank mentioned that you might be willing

Okay. I got it. I'm on it.

Okay. I just thought maybe you weren't going to work recently...

Okay. I see what you're going after here.

Okay. I think I see what the problem is though.

Okay. I'll let him know. Uh, Mac, your mom burned her house down.

Okay. Look at this place, Dee. Look at the size of this place.

Okay. Look, dude.

Okay. Now, I know you're all super stoked about watching a movie in a bar...

Okay. Okay.

Okay. She is terrified of animals eating her face off.

Okay. That

Okay. That's not gonna happen, so just move past it, all right?

Okay. This is us right here.

Okay. We were arguing...

Okay. Well, then what is it you guys are looking for?

Okay. What about a nice nursing home?

Okay. Why don't you bring the guy in. We'll have a dance competition.

Okay. Wow. I think that video says more than I ever could.

Okay. Yeah. No. Just as I suspected.

Okay. You want to dance? All right, Chief Lazarus.

On some very shaky, uh very bullshitty ground, dude.

One last crack. Come on.

One minute dead, the next minute alive resurrection.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One.

Only a couple of jabronis come out here without skates on.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Except I'm not gonna go.

Ooh, plus, it'll give me the opportunity

Ooh, she's going to hit the skateboard.

Ooh, that's not good.

Ooh, this seems like a whole lot of work.

Ooh! God, dude, it's really squishy.

Ooh! Hey, very whitey white.

Ooh! This is a war relic.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh. Hold on a second.

Ooh. It's probably pretty cool.

Oops! That's not

Open and shut case, Dennis.

Or should I say my apartment 'cause it's my apartment.

Or spa days or roasted pigs or surprises or any of those fun things.

Or that baby bird that you're probably carrying inside of you.

Or us having to just, you know, run away from security guards all night

Or watch movies, whatever it is you do.

Or whatever it is.

Or whatever it was that you were saying, we shouldn't talk about it.

Or whatever off the side of the boat.

Or whatever you want to call it out of the way.

Othello? Oh. I'm sorry. I have to apologize.

Othello. Laurence Olivier. Come on.

Our car broke down a little ways back. We were hoping maybe you could help us out.

Our lives are really more valuable than theirs.

Out of cats, or puts cats in sweatshirts...

Out of my way, bird.

Out of my way. I've broken my water.

Out of my way. No more Diddy boat.

Ow, my back! Aw! I need it again!

Ow!

Ow! That one really hurt.

Party! Party! All right! Hey!

People there are gross.

Per your request, we were able to arrange a surprise night for your friend...

Perfect. And we can get some Chinese food...

Perhaps we could get Mrs. Mac some perfume?

Phew! I feel really nervous, Dee.

Philly style.

Picture tiny shrimp crawling all over this boat, every inch of it.

Pizza. We're gonna get some pizza.

Plastic splinters are the same as You won't get a splinter!

Please don't bathe the students.

Please don't curse. All right, here's the question.

Please don't put me in the trash.

Please don't throw me in the trash.

Please show me some respect in front of your friends.

Ponderosa's Ponderosa.

Poppins! Hey, buddy! How you doing?

Poppins? My God, I can't believe that dog's not dead.

Powerful and majestic creatures.

Preaching to the choir, fellas.

Pretend like we're not even here, Mrs. Kelly, okay?

Pretending you know what you're talking about...

Pretty intact here. You want it?

Probably gonna have a little sit down breakfast...

Probably never should have been hired in the first place, though, huh?

Professor!

Propagated by this this man, this this hatemonger.

Pull it together, because you're a soldier and you should be tougher.

Pull over. Why are you doing this?

Push, Frank, push! Go, go, go!

Quiet. Good. Very nice. Oh!

Quit cleaning my damn tools, and sit your ass down! Huh!

Raise your hand if you've ever seen live theater.

**** her? What are you talking about? What?

Really make a name for myself. Otherwise I go out there, I look like a jabroni.

Really? That's odd, because you're a janitor.

Really? Well, I doubt that, you know.

Really? Well, that makes you incredibly gullible and stupid.

Reggie Leach is the...

Relax. Relax, Charlie. This is gonna be a great adventure.

Remember how much fun we used to have here?

Remember that, 'cause Frank took really good care of you...

Remember, the bigger man walks away first.

Remember, the bigger man walks away first.

Richie, these are the guys. Say hello.

Ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Where the hell is he?

Riding on a private jet, sipping champagne that's an adventure.

Riggs, Murtaugh! Bad news, fellas.

Riggs.

Right after this we should probably bash nerds. I gotta get it out of my system.

Right, Dennis?

Right. Y You're here. We're married, and that's cool.

Riled you up.

Rise and shine, dickwad.

Roar!

Said the elitist pool guy.

Save your seduction for someone else.

Saw your flyer at the boat... store.

Schmitty, we, uh

Score!

Screw that. I'm hungry. It's wabbit season.

Secondly, the funding for arts programs here is pretty much

Secondly, we have not been on the same page all day.

Security is not gonna let you go anywhere near Chase Utley, bro.

See you around, Dennis.

See, now they flipped it around.

See, stuff's not safe. Uh oh.

See, the problem is, once that sun goes down...

See?

See? I told you, dude. My mom is very handy.

Self tanner, for tomorrow. Got to look good for Groban.

Send it on in!

Serial killer. I like that. I like that.

Seriously, I'm gonna be sad when this is all over.

Seriously? Are you kidding me?

Seriously.

Serving us drinks and just making us comfortable, giving us hats.

Sex in the butt

Sexy? Bro, we agreed on funny over sexy this year...

She accosted the girl you were all ogling that evening.

She assumed he would be the easiest to take advantage of.

She didn't say anything No, people that wait on them hand and foot.

She doesn't know whether she wants to have sex with me. That's not the issue.

She feels good here. She doesn't need you here.

She fell asleep with a lit cigarette in her mouth and burned the entire house down...

She got her dick cut off and she married a dude.

She incorporated a bun in the lovemaking.

She looks around, and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean.

She seems like she's never been in sunlight.

She started scratching me like a velociraptor.

She took the the dough...

She tricks you? She tricks you how?

She turned it into her craft studio where she makes terrible sweatshirts...

She was screaming in my ear. Probably screwed my transmission up.

She wears it so well, in fact, that I have now pinpointed her as my prey for the evening.

She wears it well.

She would never say no, because of the implication.

She's a very manipulative person.

She's actually here, dude. It's awesome. She's in the bathroom.

She's always got to one up me for some some reason.

She's back, baby. She's back.

She's been doing it. I'm still alive. Can't be crazy.

She's boring me.

She's boring me.

She's brushing her teeth. Yeah, she must have eaten something a little bit sinister.

She's comfortable here. She's on her home turf. She's got all of her amenities.

She's going to bounce off all the walls.

She's just berating these guys into having sex with her.

She's like, "Help me with this. Help me with that.

She's like, "Oh, my God, you look so sexy! I'm gonna sex you all up!"

She's not even sick anymore.

She's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows.

She's still expecting a call.

She's stuck on her curse words. "Jerk" and "turkey" are all that she's using.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Mac, I'm having a thing with this rabbit here.

Shh, shh.

Shh. Charlie, I don't know.

Shh. Yello!

Shit, dude.

Shit! How'd you do that?

Shit. Are you getting sick? If you're getting sick, stay away from us.

Shoot, hell, maybe I knew I wanted it when I I gave you the ride.

Shopping carts are not dangerous, Mom. There's nothing dangerous about a shopping cart!

Should we suck it up and go to the public pool?

Should you have? You are screwed!

Should've locked my damn door. Should've locked the door.

Show some humility, for Christ's sake.

Shut up. Shut up. We're good. We're good. We're good.

Since I found out you are a whore.

Since that picture was taken, bro.

Since we met Duncan under the bridge.

Sir, I am not gonna let you down. I'm gonna start cleaning immediately.

Sir, please, you're just embarrassing yourself now.

Sitting in the bottom of a pool that's filled with trash, like trash.

Slaughtered about 200 of 'em.

Slow your roll there, Dee. The lady's not quite ready to go out to the sea yet.

So annoying.

So Dee thinks that I'm the dad, but, Dennis, you're the dad!

So Dennis thought Deandra was the peacock chick.

So even if I did have the money, I would never

So Frank and I had to sneak outside to my station wagon...

So he could make sweet love to Margaret in private.

So here's what I remember from my brown state.

So here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to talk game plan with you, okay?

So I can have some talking points with Chase.

So I grabbed that shirt out of the bag when you weren't looking...

So I guess this is a Shakespearean movie.

So I hope so.

So I need you to get rid of all this shit, and make the boat look nice, okay?

So I really don't think you should be hauling students across state lines.

So I think our best chance at figuring this out...

So I thought I would take you for a spa day, just you and me.

So I walked away. That's when you were doing your thing.

So I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could

So I was thinking maybe I could stay here tonight.

So I went to the bathroom to clean it off.

So I will not suck you, and I will not be sucked on by you.

So I'll get dressed and I'll drive you over there and I'll drop you off.

So I'm thinking, "Oh, great. What does this jerk want?"

So if we're gonna get Frank on board with this...

So it was later in the evening, and things had progressed quite a bit...

So it'd be pretty rude of you to try and

So just know that about me.

So let me understand this, waitress.

So look So if you guys are cool, then I'm totally cool.

So she went to the men's room.

So that should that should be the end of it, right?

So that's the rule, and that's the end of that.

So there's got to be a lot of other places that you could stay...

So things got pretty hot and heavy with you and Dee back in the day, correct?

So this way I figure we'll be even.

So we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck...

So we could disarm the ladies.

So we could have the right look and fit in and everything.

So we made a few of 'em. This is the first one.

So we're in agreement. I keep the car. That's wonderful

So what do we say we do a little bit of a trial run tonight?

So what you're saying is, don't give up. I shouldn't give up on my dream of being

So when a new experience presents itself to me...

So why don't you get a new job somewhere else...

So will you just glide one? Just to get the form.

So you have to live in the now. Live in the now!

So you should've let me mash it. It's just a dumb ass squirrel.

So you threw him in the trash?

So you would do a black guy with a black voice...

So you're like Blanche, and she's like Sophia. So, go ahead.

So you're saying you're gonna whup my black ass with a rod for as long as you like...

So you're still with your wife after all that shit with Dee?

So, Charlie...

So, Dee, tell us what you feel about technology. What's your opinion on it?

So, Dennis and Dee Reynolds here.

So, Dr. Myers isn't dead?

So, if she's not feeling sick, well...

So, stem cell research Stop.

So, that's cool though. You can just hang out here, I guess...

So, uh, Dennis and Dee Reynolds here.

So, wait

So, we're fired, yeah?

So, what I'm confused on is...

So, you want to take them to New York?

Solidifying our bond for all time.

Some kind of a commotion at the other end of the bar.

Somebody had sex with Dee, and she got pregnant and Well, whatever. Okay.

Someone tapped the tainted water supply.

Something is not right here. This is very suspicious.

Sometimes I wonder though if...

Sometimes she tricks me.

Sorry for just showing up, but you weren't responding to my texts.

Sorry to jump out in front of you.

Sorry, sir. We are at capacity.

Sorry, sir. You can't bring beer onto the premises.

Sorry. How is spending a weekend at a radio show beach house a life changing opportunity?

Sorry. How you doing? Wow. You look great.

Sort of a Forrest Gump size amount of shrimp.

Sounds like what you guys want is an annulment.

Sounds like you guys are having a great party.

Sp Uh Oh, spaghetti. How's my spaghetti? Dee threw it on the floor.

Spend the rest of my life on a treadmill like this guy.

Stand straight or something.

Stay aw Come on.

Step, step.

Stick with your insane clown people, and you won't get jumped.

Stop arguing for me, okay? I got it.

Stop crying before you come back out to the party.

Stop it!

Stop it! Goddamn it, don't!

Stop talking to me like I'm an asshole!

Street guys. And I think it's clear why it looks like shit now.

Street guys. And I think it's clear why it looks like shit now.

Stride, stride, stride, stride, execute.

Stupid costume.

Substitute janitor. Look...

Suit yourself, all right?

Supposing I bought a pig unseasoned and dressed it myself?

Supposing it's storming and a guy loses his ring...

Sure, yeah, well, we're on our way to Atlantic City for a charity event.

Surprise!

Sweet camel toe. That's a good tuck job. You have it taped back there?

Swim time! It's a heat wave, dude! Heat wave!

Take a look at this guy. How'd he lose that hand?

Take a look at yourself. You can't do back flips.

Take the glasses off if you're uncomfortable, okay?

Take this spirit out of this pool.

Tasty treats? Are we the tasty treats?

Teacher's lounge. Pretty sweet. How'd you swing that?

Technically, we're doing a couple of things on the hush hush from Uncle Sam.

Tell people we pushed you!

Tell you what. I'll take him to the locker room, lather him up real good.

Tell you what. Let's go to a movie. Wanna go to a movie?

Tell you what. Shrimp or no shrimp, I'm very excited about it...

Texting me again. This is pathetic.

Thank you for playing along. You're a sweetheart.

Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with us.

Thank you very much. All right, dude.

Thank you. Exactly. So I'll go out there, I showcase my weaponry

Thank you. Thank you. I am Frank Reynolds.

Thank you. Yes, okay.

Thanks, guys. Yeah. It's not my birthday though.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That

That that we

That ain't good.

That aren't, you know, here.

That being said, don't get knocked up anymore, Dee. It's getting old.

That came right at you. Is this safe?

That can't be true.

That cynical bitch.

That doesn't even I don't know what that What?

That doesn't really pertain anyway, because that section is not from the same time.

That dog just does not die.

That girl just jumped in with her sneakers on.

That have happened out in the middle of the ocean.

That he's taken a turn for the worse...

That I must have had sex with him?

That I won't have to take care of you when you get older...

That is a humongous shrimp.

That is a ridiculous price, and you know it.

That is absolutely not what I was saying.

That is bullshit! All right, kid, today's your lucky day, all right?

That is not your room anymore. It is my craft studio. So kindly stay out of there.

That is really tart.

That is the connection between man and beast.

That membership is currently at capacity.

That one didn't really work.

That seemed proper enough for Poppins, you know?

That the tranny married some guy that's not you, and that's what this is about.

That there is a war going on right now.

That this baby is causing me.

That this time

That was a hell of a swim.

That was a very tasteful example of reverse blackface.

That was all That was all this guy.

That was coming from the bathroom that I had heard with my own two ear balls.

That was Dennis.

That was patronizing! You can't patronize your captain.

That was some nice ass denim too.

That we didn't get into that swim club.

That we need to make sure that his spirit does not haunt us.

That we thought would be valuable one day.

That weird plumber he's gonna leave you alone for the rest of the night.

That were, like, "Man, what dat white man doing? Dat ain't right. Get a black man."

That would have blown you guys' minds it was very effective.

That you banged the peacock chick is not the mystery.

That you had sex with Margaret McPoyle that night?

That you would use the word "capacity" with us.

That... was insanely masculine.

That'll be a good adventure," you said

That's a 10 4.

That's a big issue these days, and we're here with our friend Cricket.

That's a dead crow.

That's a German guy. His name's Hans Wermhat. He appears in my dreams.

That's a good point. Maybe we can stuff him in a drawer or jam him in a closet.

That's a laser beam.

That's a stone you can leave unturned.

That's about as low class as it gets. Dee?

That's absurd. I'd be a dead man, wouldn't I, if I said yes to everything.

That's actually a really good idea.

That's all I'm saying. It's not like a big thing or

That's classy, Schmitty. Very classy.

That's cool.

That's cool. Well, you're up now, baby girl. So let's do some shots!

That's crazy to be one of those.

That's easy. Okay, no problem. That's better.

That's fair. Why don't we call Mac and Charlie?

That's from That's from Fear, dude.

That's gonna look way more dramatic. You know what I mean?

That's good, right? And then the second great thing for you...

That's good. That's good. I'm skating.

That's great, man. Thank you.

That's hilarious. Charlie and I used to be roomies.

That's insa Neither of us would be the woman, dude.

That's insane! Touch your toes!

That's it. Your union has hereby been dissolved.

That's just something people say. You guys are gonna love this.

That's kinda what we do, man. We just drink.

That's not a problem. We'll take the dog you and I.

That's not funny.

That's not what I'm talking about though. That's not my thing.

That's not, uh, much of an adventure, is it?

That's one... fried turkey.

That's our demo tape. We were recording the whole thing on a computer

That's part of my outfit for tomorrow, so why don't you go and run an iron over those?

That's pretty Yeah, not like that though.

That's right. I'm in it for the lifestyle...

That's stupid. This is just stupid.

That's the important thing. Let's not focus too much on the "brown" thing

That's the third morning in a row you've done that.

That's what Marky Mark does. He does that. And then, um

That's what the villagers screamed at you...

That's what you guys are doing. That was the whole deal.

That's what you're telling me?

That's why I already own the CD.

That's why I had a vasectomy, guys.

That's why we gotta stay focused, Mac. I mean, this is pro sports!

That's why you were feeling so much remorse and regret...

That's yours. By all means.

That's, like, the whole truce. You know, that's all there is to it.

The bitch is driving me crazy!

The boat's really starting to come along. I didn't think you guys had it in you.

The brunt of the responsibility of this kid is gonna fall on us.

The city will be looking to new resources for water...

The Dee thing is the mystery. Right. Dee

The first listener who can correctly answer our stupid trivia question of the day...

The guy is bugging his eyes out like a cartoon character, okay? This is racist as shit.

The houseboat offers all the advantages of a house...

The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me.

The lady's taken, buddy!

The lips are the most offensive part.

The mother is the father and the father is black...

The only consistent part about every single one of these stories...

The passion I have for the work that I do is extraordinary.

The person who just died was your wife.

The point is, how did I meet this young woman?

The point is, we're flush.

The problem is, I'll have to wear the wig to the beach house so people will recognize me.

The problem is, I'm out in the elements, dude. There's so much wind and sun.

The salt on the chips dries out my mouth.

The second half kind of threw me.

The spa. The spa that Dee took you to.

The thing is, she's not gonna say no.

The three of us just don't use 'em. How about you?

The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors...

The two of you are walking around in the sewers naked looking for rings and coins?

The what? The mattress? What do we need a mattress for?

The white's gonna make the tan pop.

The whole purpose of buying the boat...

The whole thing's dumb. Like Cider House Rules? Okay.

The, uh, tan's gonna make the white in the outfit pop...

Then I busted out this sweet Thor line on this lady because she was pissing me off.

Then I got tired of it, I threw it in the trash...

Then I realized I've been firing on all cylinders because of this baby thing.

Then I will come down on this hospital like the hammer of Thor.

Then I will come down on this hospital like the hammer of Thor.

Then I'll just suck all the life out of it and then twist your neck and

Then she's gonna need to feel more than just a tickle in her throat.

Then she's, like, "Let's be best friends."

Then we can pick up this trash bird with it, and we'll do my plan.

Then we're just gonna have to make her feel sick.

Then what is your deal? Do we pop you back in there?

Then what? What then?

Then why didn't you fly us in a private jet to A.C.?

There hasn't been chlorine in here since Jamie Nelson.

There I caught a matinee.

There is absolutely no way in hell I'm letting Mac and Charlie know...

There she is.

There was a horse massacre in the Revolutionary time...

There we are.

There you are.

There's a baby inside of me running out of water. Look out!

There's a bell?

There's a couple more brushes here and a little paint.

There's a lot of jelly in these doughnuts here, Frank.

There's a lot of perks in these bad boys, you know?

There's a lot of prep work that still has to be done.

There's definitely a ton of rats in here, that's for sure.

There's gotta be a guy. We'll go get the guy. We'll get the dad.

There's like a whole world of ancient stuff.

There's no studs here. No beef in the freezer, if you know what I mean.

There's not gonna be a contest. No, stop. Everybody stop. Shut up!

There's nothing I can do about it, so speed is a must.

There's nothing wrong with your hands, okay? Can we just focus on the law?

There's only three people working at Jiffy Lube. It's not really a high climb.

There's still time! Dee, we're out of here!

There's tons of good examples of old movies with Frank, help me out.

There's your penis and there's your butt."

There's your, uh here's your scuba gear.

These are good ideas for raising a kid.

These are real men of the sea.

These are the kind of people we should be hanging out with.

These guys are more barnacle covered and sunburned than Dee and Frank.

These kids are throwing rocks at each other for fun.

These people all have sneakers on.

These people are bleeding all over the place.

These people are very different from the people that are at our normal pool environment...

They are so tasty! I used to eat 'em when I was a kid.

They could be like The Golden Girls.

They could probably confirm the truth.

They do love their phones.

They gave Frank and I, like, a million forms for our marriage.

They had a moment, Dee. They shared a connection.

They jib jab. Jib jab, jib jab, jib jab.

They love that when I do it. Guys, watch me. Watch me, will you?

They probably slid this man in here thinking that you were never gonna use the room.

They took the mask off. He was white.

They used up all your minutes. Right?

They were digging at it a little bit, and must've given up, but

They were just floating under the boat. They got a little floaty thing.

They were only in there a short moment together before Dee came back out.

They'll always be "at capacity" for us.

They'll be here. You're early.

They're a band, dude.

They're absolutely patronizing us, Frank.

They're animals. They got no self control.

They're clearly not coming back for us, okay? I think we gotta start walking.

They're delicious!

They're gonna have their way with us. We gotta get out of here.

They're gonna take us out into the open ocean.

They're mostly in pictures and symbols...

They're not my kids.

They're patronizing us.

They're throwing keys into the water and losing everything.

They're trying to create an illusion.

They're trying to put me in the trash.

Think about, like, all the movies and the books...

Think, Mac. Think. Think. Think.

Third dimen What dimension are we in?

This boat is the best investment I ever made, man. I mean, it's huge!

This brings me no joy at all.

This could be valuable.

This dog is indestructible, dude.

This Filipino lady went crazy on me.

This floor is slippery, man.

This guy right here.

This guy seems to think you don't have a case...

This has been a huge disappointment for us.

This has got to be, like, the greatest job ever, right?

This is a good movie, Richie. You're gonna enjoy this

This is a potentially life changing opportunity.

This is a terrible example of blackface. This guy isn't trying to look like a real person.

This is all sounding right. I remember this.

This is amazing, by the way these floaty things. We should patent this.

This is an opportunity to screen Laurence Olivier's Othello movie, you know?

This is bad! This is real bad!

This is boat music.

This is crazy, but I'm having feelings again.

This is exactly what I was worried about, Dee.

This is exciting. This is the unknown. This is all part of it, man.

This is gay marriage. That's two dudes banging each other.

This is gonna be an ugly ass divorce. We're gonna get a mediator.

This is gonna be awesome, dude.

This is gonna be great.

This is gonna sound crazy. I just got an idea.

This is gonna work. This is a good idea. Grab Poppins. Let's go.

This is just a motel.

This is Laurence Olivier in Othello, and this is James Earl Jones.

This is like This is like felon class.

This is mine now. Switch it.

This is my chance to finally sow myself into the inner circle.

This is my money bag. I'm gonna make it rain, baby.

This is my new boyfriend. He's here to protect me.

This is my thing. It's my movie. Don't I'll do the movie.

This is not boat music.

This is not good radio!

This is not the part that Why does everybody think we wanna know about that?

This is pathetic. The word "trashy" just doesn't even do it justice.

This is probably the biggest opportunity either of us have ever had in our lives, right?

This is regrettable.

This is something I'm pretty charged up about. It's stem cell research.

This is taking forever. Come on.

This is the final phase of your initiation back into the gang, so it kinda matters a lot.

This is the greatest movie I've ever seen.

This is weird as hell. You guys see that, right?

This is what I'm talking about, bro.

This is why I don't leave Philly. You leave Philly, and bad shit happens.

This is your big moment, man.

This isn't about us. Let's not be cynical. Let's do what the kid wants.

This isn't Diddy esque at all.

This kid cannot become our responsibility.

This move is intended for a back flip...

This pertains to both of you guys.

This place is a shit hole, huh?

This place is a shit hole. I motion for Mac and Charlie's pool.

This pool, that'd be a great place for us to cool off.

This power outlet is gonna explode, and you're gonna have to deal with that.

This thing This is so much complicated stuff, Charlie.

This time I will bump it. The truce is on!

This was a terrible investment. Whew!

This was not part of my birth plan, sir.

This was not part of my birth plan.

This way I get my surprise party...

This whole thing might be for the best.

This? That's my P. Diddy boat dance. Uh huh!

Those creepy letters you've been writing him? You've gotta be on a list somewhere.

Those two are gonna make great parents, much better parents than any of us would.

Those weird bridge people that are like

Those were tears of joy.

Thought maybe we could hang out later.

Throwing this shit overboard, and you're just dragging it all back up.

Time and ring. Good. Got it.

To act as an unbiased negotiator in the process...

To catch the fish that she was banging.

To give her sex.

To play all those lame games?

To prove to one of you that she was indeed sexy.

To represent where all the cool shit in the pool's gonna be.

To the 93. 3 WMMR Beach House for our Start of Summer Blowout!

To the possibility of an amazing adventure this evening.

To wash that poor girl's blood off his hands.

Tom Cruise is a midget...

Tomorrow morning, I'm getting my mom out of here. Let's just go to bed.

Tonight at the animal rights event.

Too embarrassed to tell us because she's bedded some real stinkers.

Totally different!

Toxic my ass. I mean, they're just endangered.

Trust me, Peter Nickels Eater is gonna be much happier.

Trust me. What we're doing is very cool.

Try to understand.

Trying to score brownie points with your sister.

Tsk. Kinda comes out of nowhere...

Turns out another person just died from tainted tap water.

Turns out it's not your apartment because you never signed the lease, if you recall...

Turns out someone taint

Two dudes getting married that doesn't seem very gay.

Two Two hundred? Couldn't be. That's

Two! We did it!

Typical. This is so typical.

Ugh! Gross, dude. I will not go to that disgusting public pool.

Ugh. I can't believe you borrowed hot dog guy's towel.

Uh

Uh I can't keep track of our financial comings and goings.

Uh It's goin' good, pal...

Uh Oh, great. Yeah.

Uh Uh Why does it sound so echoey over there?

Uh huh.

Uh huh. I'll talk her into it.

Uh huh. Pump the crowd up.

Uh oh! When the hell'd you take that?

Uh oh.

Uh oh. Oh, no.

Uh, actually, you know what, Mac?

Uh, any more questions?

Uh, as you are all aware, Dr. Myers recently broke his hip...

Uh, but first, can I eat the eraser?

Uh, but I also used to go to school here.

Uh, Frank promised you an apology from me. You didn't believe him, did you?

Uh, gentlemen, hello. How do you do? Long time no see.

Uh, hello, hello, hello, hello!

Uh, hey, um, what do you do if the boat is on fire?

Uh, I got us some turpentine, some wax and some high gloss boat paint.

Uh, I love you.

Uh, I never know what to wish for with these damn things.

Uh, I understand that.

Uh, I've never been good to animals, wearing a leather suit and all.

Uh, it's just a

Uh, Mac, I would like you to meet my husband, Nick.

Uh, Maureen, great to see you.

Uh, no, I did not. Should I have?

Uh, no, no. Please. Please. No.

Uh, no. Not looking like you're looking.

Uh, nothing special about it. I don't know.

Uh, perks, right? Can we at least look into what goes into it?

Uh, Principal MacIntyre, I recently, uh

Uh, send a little something sweet his way maybe.

Uh, sorry. You have to be a couple for that.

Uh, that is a persuasive argument.

Uh, the attendant, you know, he just walked off with my shoes...

Uh, there's a very disturbing lack of adults here.

Uh, those white shorts on top?

Uh, we got a copy of Cider House Rules on laser disc.

Uh, we're happy for you."

Uh, well, uh, you know, it's school policy that no one should paint their face.

Uh, without further "adieu," Othello.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, yeah. That brings up another issue. What are you two doing in the sewer?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Uh, yes.

Uh, you know what? I'm not entirely certain that you are my wife.

Uh, you know, that's it's You know what it is.

Uhh!

Um

Um, because I already did it, okay?

Um, can I get, uh You have linguine?

Um, can we talk shrimp for a minute?

Um, this isn't the crowd I was expecting.

Um, what happened, man?

Um, you should be writing this down, I think.

Unbelievable, dude. Ever since my Uncle Jack moved out, my mom's going crazy.

Uncle Jack moved out of your mom's house, so she's lonely. She's got no one to talk to.

Until there's a little bit of give and take.

Us? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Usually when she was drunk.

Viggio Morgenstein!

Wabbit, where'd you go?

Wait a second. So I gotta pay alimony payments? Uncle Jack, what the hell?

Wait a second. Wait a second.

Wait a second. You guys didn't get into the pool, did you?

Wait a second. You've definitely said that before. You're right.

Wait for the doctor. I will get your stories.

Wait, wait, whoa. Why not?

Wait, wait. Why are you swimming in the water in the first place?

Wait!

Wait. Hold on. No, I didn't order yet.

Wait. I know you.

Wait. You can't just come barging in here like that. What are you doing?

Wake up! Mac!

Want your spaghetti, Charlie? You want your spaghetti?

Was to get the ladies nice and tipsy topside...

Wash the floor. Wash the ceiling. Clean my car. Get this.

Watch a movie. Yes, we were. Yeah, you know what?

Watch it. Oh! No, no. No.

Watch your balls.

Watch. It's like this. It's more I don't know. Something like, uh

Watching you eat sandwich after sandwich after sandwich.

We agreed to switch costumes. You gave me your sexy, sexy costume...

We all probably browned out.

We are $2,500 flush, so don't worry about that.

We are a couple. Charlie, documents.

We are at capacity, sir!

We are at capacity.

We are gonna hit up ancient Egypt though. I'm very excited about that.

We are men who can be great dads. We have great opinions.

We are not men who get a lot of opportunities, Charlie.

We are talking about the homeless issue here in Philly.

We ate the watermelon.

We both got caught up in the moment, we said yes to the new experience...

We bumped fists, and Dee walked by.

We can figure out something to do without them.

We can really take the temperature on this with a large group.

We can't be spending money on CDs that I already own.

We can't say yes to everything. That is all of our money, dude.

We could be hard bodies together. Not hard body and

We could be, like, "That's where the swim up bar is."

We could fold in another dad and do a Three Men and a Baby type situation.

We could go pop a hydrant.

We could probably set some of this up strategically...

We decided to have makeup sex in the men's room.

We did. But that's okay. We're gonna get back on track here.

We don't have a lot of time. Let's figure out the best we can do.

We don't have time for that bullshit. Let's just pick one and go.

We don't have time! It's tomorrow night, man!

We don't need a new member of the gang.

We don't need Charlie and Dee to have fun, okay?

We got 'im, baby.

We got a good thing going on now without him.

We got a good thing going. Why blow it with a baby?

We got our work cut out for us, guys.

We got to get you and that monster that's in your gut down to Mexico A.S.A.P!

We got to go confront the McPoyles about this now.

We got to pop by the department store, pick up the mattress.

We got to spend a lot of time in the Civil War section.

We had a difficult time finding a surrogate, but Dee was a miracle to us.

We had a Three Men and a Baby thing going on.

We have a little bit of a presentation for you. Can you come down?

We have a lot of ideas about raising a kid.

We have a lot of interesting things to say, so

We have to approach him as equals.

We have to throw a party for Charlie. It's so simple.

We have to throw a party for Charlie. It's so simple.

We have voices. We talk about the issues.

We just discussed the car and we came to an agreement that Stop bringing up the car, okay?

We just need two sponsors, and we'll get in. Don't worry.

We just want to say we're sorry for icing you out in the past, and we'd like your forgiveness.

We leave you guys alone for 45 minutes...

We might want to even consider bringing Poppins back into this mix.

We missed a lot of good, good years.

We need to get our hands on Charlie's dream book...

We need to mix it up at mixers with other boat people and living the lifestyle.

We ought to do something nice for him.

We pushed him out of a moving car for you.

We saw this comin' a mile away.

We say yes.

We should have cut him out completely.

We slip into a room and you two split me open like a coconut?

We slip into a room and you two split me open like a coconut?

We truly could not admit you, even if you had the sponsors, which you don't.

We used her sperm and a donor egg...

We want you back, if you'll have us.

We wanted to give you this tape so you could give it to those radio guys

We went through your dream book and we tried to re create some of the stuff we found in there.

We were all keyed up for nothing.

We were going berserk. She loves that kind of stuff. And I I admit I do too.

We were gonna impose our will on the kid.

We weren't quite sure what a worm hat was, right?

We would both be men. We'd be two cool straight dudes married together.

We would have just completely ignored your pregnancy.

We... bought those.

We'd like to take some of that money...

We'll boil 'em up before you get back.

We'll dip one of those cans with the string on it into the water...

We'll get more.

We'll sc**** all these little delicious oysters...

We'll see.

We'll slide, we'll take a few slap shots. We'll do this the right way.

We'll start to paint, all right?

We're a long way from Atlantic City, a long way.

We're about to open this time capsule that we buried 10 years ago.

We're all feeling the same things, but we need to fight that instinct.

We're getting in this pool if it's the last thing we do.

We're going to be out on open ocean, right?

We're going to do all the work while you guys go to a party?

We're going to set sail soon...

We're gonna be hauling in so much shrimp every day...

We're gonna be rehearsing a little musical today called Frankenstein.

We're gonna go over to the bar and grab a drink.

We're gonna have a baby. This is really cool.

We're gonna have to do everything.

We're gonna pop over to the boat store real quick and grab some, uh Whoa!

We're gonna start rolling on this, Cricket.

We're gonna take it out into the ocean. We're gonna get some oysters.

We're gonna talk to the principal, okay?

We're good. We're just chillin'.

We're having a moment here, aren't we?

We're in the middle of a terrible heat wave...

We're just experiencing a little bit of culture shock.

We're just getting warmed up.

We're just getting warmed up.

We're lawyers.

We're looking for Schmitty. He around?

We're married. I'm already home, silly.

We're not at capacity, 'cause I can see the pool from here.

We're not going to be doing any of that.

We're not gonna be doing any of the work.

We're not gonna bore you with the details...

We're not the only people that want a boat.

We're not there yet. We have a lot of work to do first.

We're pretty much ready to go with this podcast.

We're running pretty low on remaining dick towel money though.

We're spending all of our dick towel money.

We're spending too much money as it is.

We're the tasty treats in this scenario.

We're wasting time.

We've also talked our friend into throwing his entire life savings into the venture.

We've been here for, like, an hour, Frank. You're the worst dad.

We've been on a snap joke kick about your pregnant body...

We've been staring at each other for 10 minutes.

We've got the Wayans brothers in White Chicks.

We've had our hearts set on this boat thing for days now...

Weekend at Bernie's would have been very dark.

Well

Well, actually there are two wars right now.

Well, because I read it in his dream book.

Well, Charlie, when we thought it was your birthday...

Well, clearly they're working for her, 'cause Rex is a quality lay.

Well, clearly, from that story, Charlie, you're the one that banged her.

Well, Dennis kind of has the best palate.

Well, dude, think about it.

Well, first of all, I love that song too.

Well, for starters, clearly, her husband is a homosexual, okay?

Well, Frank, I'm not gonna go passing on free cars.

Well, good for you. You keep a couple of token ones around, do you?

Well, here she is the Drowning Sailor.

Well, hey! Dee, how's it going?

Well, I don't recall ever writing "worm hat."

Well, I got caught unexpectedly in a rainstorm one day, so I retreated into a local theater.

Well, I have a family member who's a lawyer. I bet he'd do it.

Well, I know how that goes. Got a messy situation going on on my end too.

Well, I need to stay focused and conserve energy, and that's, you know Come on.

Well, I seriously regret switching parts with you halfway through...

Well, I tell you what. You take it off and switch with me.

Well, I was angry at you...

Well, I was thinking we'd be at capacity for Dennis...

Well, I'm asking if it's edible, because it certainly smells of g****s.

Well, I'm definitely not eating that.

Well, I'm freaking out a little bit.

Well, I'm not gonna do that. But what I will do is use it as bait. Ooh!

Well, I'm saying I built up a shell a shell around myself.

Well, if anything, you should be more afraid of truckers now, but I do see your point.

Well, it ain't a great adventure to me.

Well, it's 'cause it's not a shrimp, Frank. It's a prawn.

Well, it's donors like him that makes our work for animals possible.

Well, it's not called voodoo, okay? This is the Lord our Savior.

Well, just accept the fact that you're white trash, all right?

Well, ladies, I know this is a lot to digest, and that's why I'm here

Well, let's see who's sexy now, dickwads.

Well, listen, sometimes even I can't control everything.

Well, maybe we are being a little cynical.

Well, maybe you're a whore, you stupid, ugly, homeless bitch!

Well, mystery solved. I mean Awesome!

Well, no, I don't always say yes.

Well, not anymore.

Well, not that I believe in God. I don't. Not since that Chinaman stole my kidney.

Well, now I know why people are wearing shoes.

Well, now, I know you'd like to say a few words.

Well, please don't diminish my mother's achievements, okay?

Well, she gets drunk and calls me a cardio jerk or a workout turkey.

Well, that was definitely an adventure, huh?

Well, that was quick, guys.

Well, that's interesting. A sex addict who doesn't like condoms.

Well, that's lame.

Well, that's not what Jerry Carelli said, asshole.

Well, the car's off the table, okay?

Well, the interrogation did turn into a coke party.

Well, the, uh, gravity of my situation just set in.

Well, there you have it. Mac's the dad.

Well, uh, the other morning...

Well, we brought you to this luncheon, Schmitty...

Well, we just finished accepting Charles's terrible, terrible truce.

Well, we know you. You could sponsor us.

Well, we're out of here, so good luck.

Well, we're out of here.

Well, what the hell, man?

Well, what? What, you're not gonna take care of me when I'm old?

Well, when I heard you were getting divorced...

Well, when I showed up this morning...

Well, why in the hell are we in the woods? Get on the A.C. Expressway.

Well, yeah, maybe then you could get the flip.

Well, yeah, this has got to be a little awkward for you now, Bill, right?

Well, you can try the public pool, but

Well, you could use the cab fare to get to work.

Well, you know, it's been great, fellas, but we're gonna take off now.

Well, you should give a shit, 'cause one of you is the father.

Well, you should like 'em. I put a lot of work into 'em.

Well, you're kinda the only actual lawyer I know...

Were laughing at me doing the butt dance?

Were you trying to get us to plan your surprise party?

Wh What are you doing? I was doing a thing.

Wh What implication?

What What do you see in this guy?

What What's in those drawers?

What a beautiful underhanded thing.

What a score!

What about this one? You bump?

What about you, man? What's your living situation like these days?

What am I going to do, say no?"

What am I, a gymnast?

What are we looking at? No contact with Dee after you dated.

What are you Are you Knock it off.

What are you What?

What are you doing, Frank? What's going on here?

What are you doing? It is 2:00 in the morning. I was sleeping, Dennis.

What are you doing? No. No, no, no. I'm not comfortable with this.

What are you doing? Stop asking me that. What? Gross! Come on.

What are you doing? What are you doing? Get down!

What are you giving me shit for, okay?

What are you supposed to do?

What are you talking about?

What are you thinking, coming in here, man?

What are your bridge friends doing here?

What better way to kick off this new relationship than with a new fragrance?

What Charlie's saying is correct. We're taking the dog.

What do we got going on over here, guys?

What do we say in this scenario, Charlie?

What do you get from that? Nothin'. Nothin'.

What do you mean find some water?

What do you mean what do we need a mattress for?

What do you say...

What do you think that's accomplishing?

What do you want me to do, give all my money to some toll jockey?

What do you want?

What happened? Are we in A.C.?

What happened? Did I do good, Charlie?

What have you acted in?

What I tell you? Huh, son?

What if I guarantee you that nobody out there will put you into a bag...

What if I need to do a back flip later?

What if someone walks down the deck and makes an offer before us?

What if we hide in the bushes...

What in the hell are you doing with that watermelon, man?

What in the hell are you talking about? I didn't touch you.

What is going on here? What are you doing with Mr. Craig?

What is going on with my face?

What is going on? Where are you?

What is he doing in the water?

What is L'il Kev doing here?

What is not to believe? I am absolutely Dennis Reynolds.

What is that supposed to mean?

What is that?

What is that? There's a lamb?

What is that? What even is that?

What is the recommended amount of money for one to make it rain?

What is the time capsule butt, butt?

What is white trash about that? Don't call me white trash.

What is your endgame in this?

What is your obsession with the sewer these days?

What is your spaghetti policy here?

What is?

What kind of savages throw rocks at each other to have fun times?

What kind of technique did you use? Tie ups and stuff like that.

What Mac's trying to say now is that you're taking the dog.

What my producer, Frank, is referring to is the fact that Ben, our soldier here...

What Philadelphia Flyer holds the franchise record for goals in a season?

What the hell are you guys doing in here?

What the hell are you guys doing?

What the hell are you two doing out here?

What the hell happened down there? Some kind of horse massacre?

What the hell is a podcast? Why don't you just tape it? What are you doing?

What the hell is that?

What the hell is the matter with you?

What the hell is this shit?

What the hell was that?

What the hell?

What the hell's the matter with you? How did you get so cynical?

What the shit are you talking about?

What the shit is this? Where's my luau?

What was in the juice?

What was in the juice? Okay, hold on. Before you go, untie me.

What was that?

What was that?

What What What are you doing? What is that?

What you're gonna want to do is just gently gently sort of guide the puck at the net...

What you're saying is very dorky.

What, are you supposed to just bury it, open it right up...

What, Mom, what?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Dead tooth? She didn't have a dead tooth.

What? Dee, I would rather get shot in the face.

What? Dennis, do not talk to me that way. I am your wife.

What? Hello? What? What is it?

What? How many mistresses do you have?

What? I thought you loved animals now.

What? No way, dude. I'm not getting naked in public.

What? No way, dude. I'm so pissed at you for throwing me out of the apartment.

What? No!

What? That's it? You're just gonna sit in the corner and hem away at your sock all day?

What? Why do I have to move out? It's my apartment too.

What? You can't drink in this pool?

What? You're in debt?

What's going on? Are you guys gonna try to bang me afterwards or something?

What's gonna happen when you go on life support, dude?

What's our plan here?

What's so relaxing about sitting around in a hot, wet room?

What's that stuff you're putting on? That's beautiful. What is it?

What's the word on my stories?

What's up, bitches?

What's up, brother? All right.

What's weird about this? This is a men's ceremony, okay?

What's your angle? What are you doing?

Whatever.

Whatever. What are you guys even doing here?

When he hands me something to sign and it's about money and papers, I sign it.

When I see that baby, dude, we're gonna run towards it.

When she wakes up, she'll be really, really cold, so you just give her this blanket.

When we put all four of them together, it makes a four leaf clover...

When you come face to face with something like that...

When you say things about meeting people under bridges...

Where are you going?

Where are you, wabbit?

Where are your real friends, dude?

Where do you think they're coming and going from?

Where is everybody? I thought this was supposed to be a party.

Where is that inspirational man?

Where it can be free and safe in the loving embrace of Mother Nature, okay?

Where the hell is my damn screwdriver?

Where we can be completely alone...

Where we gave each other hand jobs.

Where you and I were in the Dumpster behind Wendy's.

Where's the "H" key? There's no "H" key!

Where's the guy? Should we call the guy? The guy who

Where's the robes?

Where's your chewing tobacco? You know Mrs. Kelly doesn't like the smoke.

Whew.

Which got me thinking about you and me

Which means they were stone cold sober that night.

Which one of us is gonna be the woman?

Which one of you guys did this? Who painted your face, kid?

Which one of you little shits stole my shoes? Goddamn it!

Which, in our world, is a level of focus...

While Dee and Mac and I go into the inside...

While we were picking up the decorations, I slipped out...

Who are we gonna call? We can't call the police because

Who doesn't have a restraining order against me...

Who gives a shit if gays want to be miserable like everybody else and get married?

Who stands atop rolling chairs and chooses to go flying through windows.

Who wants a little bit of

Who would be the man and who would be the woman in that situation?

Who would want to spend a weekend at a beach house with these idiots?

Who wouldn't feel that way after banging

Who?

Who's she? Who's she? She's somebody that'll zing you back. Right?

Who's so passionate about joining our custodial staff.

Who's this jag off? Look.

Who's this jerk?

Who's this old son of a bitch?

Who's this? Is this your husband?

Whoa, Christ!

Whoa, dude! He's staring right at you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hard work? What are you talking about?

Whoa, whoa! Frank, no! We are not killing any animals, okay?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Hold on. Make it rain? What is that? You're gonna chuck money everywhere? Don't do that.

Whoa! Margaret, what are you doing here?

Whoa! Since when are you the captain?

Whoa.

Whoa. Hey, guys, guys, guys.

Whoa. What happened to my meatball?

Whole school's slippery, 'cause I waxed it real good...

Whoo hoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo! Boy, that was a hell of a night, man.

Why are you Why are you looking at that trash can?

Why are you asking me?

Why are you calling me trash? I defended you earlier 'cause of these shorts.

Why are you doing everything in threes?

Why are you giving me that look?

Why are you having sex with her?

Why are you making that assumption?

Why are you not writing this down?

Why are you staring at me?

Why did I put you in charge of this job? Forget this. I got this.

Why did we have to do all the touching and the hand holding if it was just

Why did you do that, Mac? Goddamn it!

Why do you people keep bothering me at the gym?

Why do you think we just spent all that money on a boat?

Why don't I just **** her myself?

Why don't we just round up the usual suspects...

Why don't you call this Schmitty guy up and see what he's up to now?

Why don't you check yourself into a nursing home? You have the money.

Why don't you get on 'em about using the minutes on the cell phones?

Why don't you guys do what you do best and don't care, okay?

Why don't you just order what you want?

Why don't you just throw it into the trash?

Why in the hell are you bathing yourself in the sink?

Why is that weird? That makes perfect sense.

Why is there a strange man in my room?

Why is this damn stage so slippery?

Why wasn't I invited?

Why would I know anything about the tainted water?

Why would they put a dead old man with paper skin in my room when I'm trying to give birth?

Why would we do reshoots on that? That movie was perfect.

Why would you do that?

Why would you think that you needed to sign a phone bill?

Why wouldn't you just plan it yourself?

Why?

Why? There's stuff down there.

Will you seize it?

With music. Duncan, play something special.

With pleasure, Dee!

With the hopes that I could one day give it to you as a thank you.

With the, uh

With this awesome power waxer that the school provided me.

With two true all stars of our organization

With your brains and your smart stuff, okay?

Woo, woo, woo, woo! Hyah!

Woof, woof. She wears it very well.

Word of the Lord.

Work first, and then you can do your weird, inflatable tube man P. Diddy dance.

Would that comfort you at all?

Wow, right? I would not have guessed that was you.

Wow!

Wow!

Wow! Okay.

Wow! The denim chicken, the bird with teeth, Wermhat's worm hat.

Wow. This whole thing's really setting in now.

Wow. You just I gotta try that with someone.

Wrong number. Sorry.

Y You may not have seen all of them or any of them.

Y'ello.

Yaah!

Ye Yeah.

Yeah Oh, shit, dude.

Yeah, a couple of sponsors. Hey, Dee, you're bleeding a little bit.

Yeah, all right. You're right.

Yeah, and I remember, every time you tried to talk to him, you'd

Yeah, and I'm still pretty pissed about you not throwing me a bachelor party.

Yeah, and Mac. You remember us, right?

Yeah, and she is slammin' ass all over town. She's getting way more action than us.

Yeah, and since we're all saying things that we say all the time, I'll just reiterate

Yeah, and you got to make the lips funny.

Yeah, awesome. Ah, that's so awesome, dude.

Yeah, because we have class.

Yeah, but here's the thing Once you throw a term like that out...

Yeah, but I guarantee you there was some black people that were working on that movie...

Yeah, but I said yes to the new experience. Right?

Yeah, but I wouldn't argue with that, dude. We're definitely lower class.

Yeah, but I'll tell you what.

Yeah, but that was before, when you said it was one of us.

Yeah, but that's a bad snap decision, you know?

Yeah, can I get linguine instead?

Yeah, Charlie gets health insurance, and I get diddly squat.

Yeah, Charlie, I received all 100 of them.

Yeah, denim chicken.

Yeah, dude, I'm doing a vampire thing!

Yeah, go suck an egg.

Yeah, he knew I could bite him a little bit.

Yeah, he's excellent. But he slapped a restraining order on us. We can't use him.

Yeah, I ain't exactly allowed to wear my makeup in school, though.

Yeah, I didn't see you down there, Chuckles. How you been, little man?

Yeah, I got a question. What's in the fanny pack?

Yeah, I got some last words.

Yeah, I have the most refined palate, Schmitty. That's how we do things now.

Yeah, I know. I know.

Yeah, I missed wide right by, like, a mile. It was terrible.

Yeah, I was great in it, and my villain was very evil.

Yeah, I'm not disputing that fact, dude.

Yeah, I'm starting to get woozy too.

Yeah, I've sized you up. I've stripped you down. I don't like what I see.

Yeah, it looks like his eye is falling out.

Yeah, it looks like his eye is falling out.

Yeah, it was a bit of a snap decision.

Yeah, it was lame. I couldn't understand it. Made no sense.

Yeah, it's covered in chlorine water, but it's clean.

Yeah, it's got a sewagey smell.

Yeah, it's really sinking in, man.

Yeah, like Andre Agassi, huh?

Yeah, me too. I browned out that evening.

Yeah, one second you're on your high horse about how great marriage is...

Yeah, one, two, three. One, two, three. Huh.

Yeah, Re Well, he's not fit to be a father though.

Yeah, right? It's not

Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay. You know what?

Yeah, Rog.

Yeah, that dog's nasty, man.

Yeah, that's that's quite a conversation you had with her, isn't it?

Yeah, that's not cool, but

Yeah, this is the kind of music you ought to listen to.

Yeah, two totally different people.

Yeah, we got to confirm this whole story.

Yeah, we probably shouldn't get Chinese though...

Yeah, we read you loud and clear.

Yeah, we'll get all of this out of here.

Yeah, we're gonna bring him back over to Charlie's mom's house.

Yeah, well, all good adventures must come to an end at some point.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's the M.S. that's really lame.

Yeah, well, I realized I was a sex addict.

Yeah, well, let's hope not.

Yeah, well, sometimes the adventures aren't always good ones.

Yeah, well, we better before I lose it and I drown a child.

Yeah, whatever. I don't care. Sure.

Yeah, yeah, all those things. Yup.

Yeah, yeah, me too. What do you say, sister? You need some extra cash?

Yeah, yeah, me too. What do you say, sister? You need some extra cash?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. God, dude, we have so many great, great movies here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, uh, so what brings you dicks here, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was in your dream book. Your

Yeah, yeah. Great, great. Miracle for you. How wonderful. Dee, you tricked us?

Yeah, yeah. She banged him.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She's doing all right though.

Yeah, you always say yes to everything.

Yeah, you don't lump Dennis and me in with you. We're high class, so

Yeah, you guys try not to hurt anybody tonight, okay?

Yeah, you know, whatever it's gonna take to wrap this up, really.

Yeah, you might throw up when you get out there, you know, from the nerves.

Yeah, you too.

Yeah, you're doing great.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! Everyone's talking about the war.

Yeah! Oh, yeah. That would be great. That would be great.

Yeah! She will be mine.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah?

Yeah? This all sounds right to you? Okay, okay.

Yeah? Well, you're gonna be here for a while.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. "Dear Future Dee, how's Hollywood?

Yeah. Actually, guys, zoos are animal prisons.

Yeah. And I'm not gonna lie. His use of black face I found a bit regrettable, but

Yeah. Dee inspired me. She said, "You're an awesome janitor, Charlie.

Yeah. Hey, dude, um, how have you been getting in and out of here?

Yeah. I don't particularly like fish sticks, but

Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.

Yeah. I like the skateboard, 'cause Jamie loved skateboarding.

Yeah. I named him Peter Peter Nickel Eater.

Yeah. I'm not gonna get my dick cut off and sold to China...

Yeah. Look at this pictures and symbols.

Yeah. No, I I'm fine. I got lucky.

Yeah. No. He's right. That's different, 'cause this new guy if I'm hearing correctly

Yeah. Right. I don't wanna do that.

Yeah. Stop trying to bond with me.

Yeah. That's it.

Yeah. Uh, but Richie here is a hell of a kid, and he's struggling.

Yeah. Very worked up. Very worked up.

Yeah. We were trying to distract you so we could plan your party.

Yeah. We're gonna throw some P. Diddy style parties up on the deck.

Yeah. Well, I don't know. All that talk about marriage and everything

Yeah. When I found out that Miss Ponderosa here had been cast out of her marital home...

Yeah. Yeah. I did not remember that about you.

Yeah. Yeah. We're married. Maureen and I got married

Yeah. Yes.

Yep.

Yep. Yep.

Yes, and it wasn't 'cause of Dee, obviously.

Yes, dude! It's all coming back to me now. You came over to me.

Yes, I am. Hi. Hi.

Yes, I do. Please don't hit me. I have sensitive skin.

Yes, I want to get rid of the costume!

Yes, I was having an argument with Artemis...

Yes, of course! Deandra Reynolds!

Yes, that's okay. Um

Yes, that's right, we are. We are honoring its life.

Yes, there were passionate sounds of lovemaking...

Yes, we're buying the boat.

Yes, we're we're taking the boat.

Yes, you are. You're banging a dude.

Yes, you did! Yeah All right, look, look.

Yes! Yes, yes!

Yes! Yes!

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Amazing film truly, truly.

Yes. Dennis orders for us.

Yes. We definitely wanna ward off his spirit.

Yes. Well, they're not real human teeth, if that's what you're asking me.

Yes. Yes, they are.

Yes. Yes!

Yikes. Shit's getting pretty real for you, huh?

Yo, Charlie Chuckles, what's crackin', sunshine? Yeah.

Yo, dude, definitely give me another one of those.

Yo, dude.

Yo, Frank, it's Artemis. Have you seen Dee?

Yo, Frank, we gonna set it off, bitch.

Yo, got your dog.

Yo, yo, yo! Look at the turnout for our "par tay."

Yo! Hey! Bro, help us out here!

Yo! Level three!

Yo. Hey, buddy.

You How would you You're not watching the movie.

You ain't going nowhere.

You all give a shit. You just said so. You were up all night.

You almost ran over that squirrel, Frank.

You and Charlie shouldn't be asso "

You are a big, fat, flightless bird!

You are dressed like the Phantom of the Opera. He's not a vampire.

You are insane!

You are more than happy to try the public pool.

You are not going to believe how much cool shit is under the boat.

You are standing on top of a rolling chair.

You better do yourself a favor and flush it out.

You boys are, uh, awfully dressed up.

You called my bluff, sir. I shall dispose of this posthaste.

You can have as many carrots as your little heart desires.

You can make this whole school slippery."

You can try me, but I will not promise you anything.

You can, uh, read, pull out your phones, whatever.

You can't be out here swinging hockey sticks.

You can't bring food into the theater.

You can't bring guests in here! This is our podcast! I feel like you're trying to take over!

You can't buy 'em in the stores no more.

You can't kill the rabbit, Deandra. It's got my soul.

You can't really go in the bar right now, bro.

You can't stand it? I'm gonna pull the plug.

You chased her out with a pool cue because she had a cough.

You close the curtains, and you mind your own business, right?

You could use it as a force field or as a roaming base.

You did ignore my pregnancy.

You did? You did?

You didn't get in. Admit that you are low class, just like us.

You didn't make it to this side on time.

You didn't try and decide who the dad was. You just got high.

You don't have to provide any kind of Let me just do my thing.

You don't have to say anything, man.

You don't have to tape it these days, Frank. You just record it right onto the computer.

You don't know karate. You're white trash!

You don't remember this conversation? Without my Mario, what am I?

You don't smell, and you look beautiful, okay?

You don't think we should go home and take a shower first?

You don't want this kind of thing anymore.

You eat dead chickens and dead turkeys all the time.

You feel it with your feet. It's almost like clamming.

You get in your room. Get in there.

You got any munchies in the car? I'm grumbling.

You got me hankering for spaghetti and I want it.

You got the moves.

You got to hit me with the two by four. I got too much pain.

You got your clothes on. You gotta take your clothes off.

You gotta be kidding me. He's Chinese.

You gotta come up with something else, Frank. You can't keep using the same

You gotta give it the illusion of a party.

You gotta go back to your wife, okay, and get out of my place!

You gotta start thinking about shrimp, okay?

You gotta take 'em off, son.

You gotta throw out a big net...

You gotta walk out to center ice and you gotta be like, "Hey! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"

You grease the watermelon up, you throw it in the pool.

You guys are on your way to a museum to spend the night. Hey, have a great time, guys.

You guys are trying to get married too, huh? That's weird.

You guys are white trash. Admit it right now.

You guys can't censor me. I'm a bit of a badass.

You guys don't actually think that things are going to come alive...

You guys have all been hanging out under a bridge.

You guys have been obsessing about this all night.

You guys look absolutely terrible.

You guys remember her brother Bill Bill Ponderosa?

You guys untie me right now!

You guys, I did a 180 too. I totally did.

You guys, I got Groban in the park.

You guys, uh, have any questions?

You guys, you're all gonna be doing your own monologues in this class.

You guys. You guys, I need help. I don't know what to do.

You had a vasectomy?

You had me going there for the first part.

You have 30 seconds. Go!

You have an emergency call.

You have any idea what it's like to be this sexy?

You have done enough today.

You have that "it" factor. You know what I'm saying?

You just cannot cast a white man as a black man and paint his face black.

You just have to laugh.

You just pop it back in with your knuckle. I'll show you how to do it.

You just sort of pop it back in.

You just winked when you said that.

You just would not because you don't know how to do a back flip.

You keep using this word "jabroni."

You kidding? Moronic commentary, stupid sound effects. It's dumb. It doesn't make any sense.

You kind of threw me with those outfits.

You know how it goes. Okay, bye.

You know what I do think? I think we're gonna give this crow a proper burial.

You know what I mean? I'm not a proud man.

You know what I mean? We don't need your parents and the principal finding out.

You know what I'm looking forward to...

You know what, Charlie?

You know what, dude? Let me handle it. I'm gonna call pizza delivery.

You know what? Believe it or not, I've been doing some inventory...

You know what? I don't enjoy having this conversation with you.

You know what? I don't have time for this.

You know what? I'm a little behind on my trucker terms.

You know what? Just move past it. Tell the story, please.

You know what? Keep your money. I don't need your little allowance.

You know what? Yeah. We might wanna work on some kind of routine, huh?

You know what? You guys blow. I'm gonna go find Duncan.

You know what's happening here?

You know why? Because this was a pool for people like us.

You know, 'cause of the stupid Twilight movie and all that other crap.

You know, Dee, Frank and Charlie are driving me crazy.

You know, give her some more juice.

You know, give myself a more athletic look.

You know, guys? Now might be a good time to do our Lethal Weapon 5 reshoots.

You know, I always thought I'd be married by now.

You know, I do feel like we owe the guy an apology.

You know, I know that, uh, you guys are 18...

You know, I want to call her an emu...

You know, I wouldn't have imagined the whole thing going down the way it did.

You know, I've got just the boat for you.

You know, so I'm like, what if the waitress is into it? This is my best shot!

You know, that's the stuff that's rattling around in her head...

You know, the Mafia, the Freemasons, the White House.

You know, those weird things you would want to do at night? Like, uh, Night Crawlers?

You know, we'll let you get back to

You know? Kind of got on our nerves.

You know? Maybe. I don't know. I'm not gonna sit here and try to get inside the mind of a dog.

You know. Truck stop whores. I mean

You like sharks, Detective?

You look great. You're still quite a catch.

You look like a G. I. Joe action figure. Loosen up. And haunch.

You look like an asshole.

You look like one of those inflatable dancing things at the used car lot

You might wanna hau You look stiff like a

You mind snapping a photo for the Web site?

You must be very proud of yourself.

You need to be sponsored by two existing members.

You need to thrust her into a hostile environment so that she needs you to protect her.

You never seen a hickey?

You okay? Yeah? No?

You pregnant.

You prepay for it, and then you buy it and you throw it away.

You proposing to me?

You pushed him out of a moving car and yelled, "You're out of the gang!"

You ready, bro?

You realize how much boating equipment costs?

You remember Maureen Ponderosa, right, Charlie?

You remember? And then we all turned on the guy pretty quickly.

You see that shit? He jumped down a whole flight of stairs.

You see, Charlie, this is a proper memorial.

You see, he's what he calls, uh, a juggler.

You should be scraping, okay? So sc****.

You should go rest now. Good. Look, I'm gonna do everything you need.

You should have seen this throw.

You should not be associating with people like that.

You should not be hanging out with Duncan.

You should see the look on your face.

You should take your powerful extension cord argument straight to the supreme court.

You should use blankets, right?

You should've seen this guy. He would have lumped the shit out of you.

You signed the prenup. Case closed.

You sing so good.

You son of a bitch! I'm gonna kill you!

You son of a bitch.

You thought it was me 'cause you wanted sex from me! But you got sex from Dennis!

You thought you had sex with Charlie...

You told me it was the phone bill, man. Of course I signed it.

You wandered off muttering something about the costume being too sexy.

You want to eat it so bad, you kill it.

You went in the back office with him, not me.

You were all very, very, very drunk.

You were right. I said yes to this little adventure, and I won.

You were supposed to be fixing it up and making it look nice.

You were thinking about it all night long.

You will call her!

You won't even have to pay for the chiropractor.

You would not suck me and you would not, um...

You'll get it. He'll understand as the ceremony progresses.

You're always doing that. Are you trying to tell me something?

You're annoying, and you're strange.

You're born into class. It's about pedigree. It's about upbringing.

You're cool? Well, when you're cool, you're cool.

You're covered in paint and dirt and grime and all kinds of shit.

You're definitely gonna have another massive heart attack or stroke in the next few years?

You're doing a black voice, and that's not racist?

You're gonna be the one that's got to do all the hard labor here...

You're gonna go flying through that window, for God sakes. Get down.

You're gonna pay me $500 to drink soup out of a shoe.

You're gonna want to brush up on your hockey words.

You're gonna want to keep him away from that cream, too, 'cause he'll eat that shit.

You're in the fringe class. I still maintain that Dee and I are in the upper class.

You're just breaking everything in this boat.

You're kidding though, right?

You're my boy toy. No, I'm not gonna leave our apartment

You're never going to believe what I just found floating off the end of the boat.

You're not even listening to me.

You're not even supposed to be out here without skates. Now get out!

You're not gonna be doing any of that? What do you mean?

You're not gonna get this woman to do anything, 'cause she thrives on sunlight.

You're not gonna need to! You need to do some kind of flip now!

You're not gonna stand backward. You're gonna stand forward. You're gonna

You're not railroading me on this, okay?

You're on hold on those?

You're put off by my hands. I know they're very small. It's been very hard on me.

You're right.

You're right. Okay, cool.

You're supposed to be my coach, dude. Don't tell me I'm gonna throw up!

You're supposed to be... a noble people.

You're the ones that are trash.

You're the only woman he didn't have to pay to sleep with.

You're totally, totally boning me here, bro. Do you realize that?

You're trying to confuse me, because that's what God's work

You're white trash too, dude. Those shorts are white trash.

You've been away for a while. It's fine.

You've been dumping the trash in the ocean?

You've been stuffing your face for days.

You've gotten to the bottom of it. That's very exciting.

You've had a cell phone this entire time, dude? Are you kidding me?

Your belly's so fat, you make John Candy look like Lara Flynn Boyle.

Your ideas are so stupid. Go with the burst pipe. That would never happen.

Your moms are gonna live together. Now hear me out. This is gonna be great.

Your secret's safe with me. Don't worry too. I'm not a cop.

Your shirt doesn't even fit, by the way.

Your skin looks like leather and you got blisters all over your lips.

Your teeny tiny little worm gets a teeny tiny little hat.

Your uncle never hears from you anymore.

Yours is kinda the same, you know, 'cause you've always sort of been a janitor.

93.3, WMMR.

'Cause this and this this has gotta stop. You're right.

'Cause we were doing the... Maybe instead of doing a My Two Dads type thing...

"Browning out"? You like it?

"Luther Vandross"? Is that still on there?

# All right # # All right #

# And if you threw a party # Turn your head.

# Butt, butt # Oh, Charlie, no.

# Butt, butt, butt # That's great, Charlie. I could watch him do that for hours.

# Butt, butt, butt butt butt Butt, butt, butt butt butt #

# Butt, butt, butt Time capsule, time capsule # What are you doing?

# Do ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh # Yeah!

# How to keep it # Charlie, don't! Don't! Don't!

# Lamb of God who takes # Alligator tooth and snakeskin spirit...

# Oh # What the hell are you doing in here?

# Ooh, yeah # # Oh, yeah #

# Push it to the limit # # The limit, the limit, the limit, the limit #

# The boys are back in town # # Boys are back in town #

# The heart is true # You gotta stare at her.

# They'll pass you by # No Mets fans!

# Time capsule # # Butt, butt #

# Well, all right # # All right #

# You're a pal and a confidante # Don't look at me!

A baby would've screwed up our chemistry. It might've. Yeah.

A burner! That's a burner. This is what drug dealers buy.

A great movie. Did we miss it? Did we miss it?

A little bit. I don't get it, man.

A little pee wee hockey experience never hurts. You're good.

A lot of special time. Yeah?

A pipe Yeah.

A spa day. What is this word "spa"?

A squirrel must have piled them up and then got hit by a car. Why? Why, why, why?

A wig? Totally. Long, flowing hair.

Absolutely. Get bowed up.

Absolutely. You've earned it. You should.

Actually, I loaned it to both of you ladies.

Ah, hey, Dee. Shut up.

Ah, Jesus. It clearly says in the Bible that gay marriage is wrong.

Ah, nuts. Some spaghetti spilled in your purse a little bit. Oh, shit.

Ah, sure. Frank, are you sure about this luau thing?

Ah! Oh!

Ah. Hyah!

All mine. All mine all the time. All the time.

All right Out!

All right, I got to go to work. I love you.

All right, man. He touched me with it. Ugh! God, what a life, huh?

All right, so Charlie, this is my favorite part.

All right, take it take it seriously. I am. I'm locked in.

All right, take it easy. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!

All right, that's it. I'm calling Dennis. No.

All right, this is what it was all for. Mm hmm.

All right, you ready? Let's see what you got.

All right! There's the man! What's up, buddy?

All right! Two gay dudes married! Bump it, bump it, bump it.

All right. All right, you.

All right. Don't bother me.

All right. If you're not gonna take it seriously...

All right. What'd you get, a ginger ale?

All right. Climb up. Stand back, 'cause it takes a real man to do this.

All right. More for us. You sure?

All right. Okay. Okay, here we go.

Also why I'm out of breath. What in God's name are you talking about?

Also, now we're backing out and you're stuck there. I can back out.

Also, you need a lawyer too. We should talk about that. I need a lawyer? For what?

Although I really doubt it. I could probably get that flip.

And I can't be constantly taking care of her. I don't blame you, man.

And I don't like prawns, so I eat around them. Yeah.

And I emphasize never Mm hmm.

And I just want you to leave me alone. Yeah.

And I'm gonna show you. Where's our Bible? "Where's our Bible?"

And it's gonna change our lives. Life changing!

And plus, he's probably gonna be too short. Ooh.

And shrimp. And shrimpies!

And so, surprise. That was a good shirt.

And taste a little bit of the high life. Absolutely.

And the baby's not black, so It's all been explained.

And then we'll be back in the high life again. Yeah.

And there we go! Got rid of it. Great. Thank you.

And this asphalt That's not regulation. No, it's not regulation

And we're sticking together. Just so I'm clear...

And you can taste that sort of endangered tang. That's it.

And you got a, uh Please don't touch me.

Anything ring a bell? That was quite a night.

Are you a carrier of of, uh, large weaponry? Let me just interr

Are you gonna hurt women? I'm not going to hurt these women.

Are you gonna take that from him? Stand up for yourself!

Are you high on blow? Whatever Duncan gave me.

Are you kidding me? Well, I don't know.

Are you serious? I love your attitude. It's fantastic.

Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

Aren't you his wife? No. I'm his mistress.

Assorted lanolin products. Oh, God.

At capacity? Yeah.

Aw, man. Whatever it takes, Schmitty.

Baby! Oh, whew! God!

Back to the bar, or what? Yeah.

Be sucked by me. Be sucked by us!

Because if the girl said no, then the answer obviously is no. No.

Because the spaghetti is the whole deal for me. Goddamn it.

Ben the soldier. Hey, Dee. Good to see you.

Big stuff. Rings, coins, nudity. That's part of the fun.

Black wins again! Oh, baby! Whoo!

Boom! Even better! I am not drinking dishwater.

Boy, the old place, huh? Uhh

Brand new kid for you. Bring him back up. No. No, no.

But But

But again, nobody's buying that either. Okay, look at this.

But again, not prostitutes. Not lizards though.

But first, let's talk about animals. Yes.

But he was very handsome. What is it with you two and the Ponderosas?

But how are you so clean? We take our clothes off so we don't get dirty.

But I want to save it for, you know Save it, save it, save it.

But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say We'll take it!

But I'm not tripping, okay? It's all right there. Oh, no.

But that means No.

But that was lucky. Yeah, I know. But you know what, dude?

But then everything's blurry. Then put the glasses on and shut the hell up.

But there you go. Interesting.

But you're saying that you don't have a job. No job.

Can I have your costume, dude? Yeah, you can have it.

Can I say something? Yeah, totally.

Can I stop you though? Yeah.

Can we just call Dennis? Fine. Call Dennis.

Can you crack my back, please? Crack your back. All right. Turn around.

Can you please just tell us what you remember? Tell us what happened.

Can you take this, Mac? Yeah, man, I got this.

Carmen, hey. I wanna show you something. Oh.

Champagne! Here we go, gentlemen.

Charlie, didn't happen. What? What?

Charlie, I do back flips every single day of my life. No, you don't.

Charlie, let me do my thing. I'll just let you do your thing. All right.

Charlie, sit down. Did you see a meatball over here?

Charlie, you got some cash? Uh, no. Shit.

Charlie! Ooh!

Chase Utley is not gonna have a catch with you. Come on. Come on.

Come here. Come here. Charlie, what are you what are you doing?

Come on now. All right.

Come on, dog. Hop up, Poppins. Come on.

Come on, man. I throw overhand, Charlie. Ooh.

Come on! Come on, man.

Come on. Yeah.

Come on. Come on. That's a sea law.

Could be. Could be, right?

Could you ease up on the crackers? I'm gettin' bored with this!

Cricket, tell Dee how much you think she's ugly. That's not gonna make sense.

Cricket! Cricks.

Cynical? You can't even get excited to give your friend a party.

Deandra! Yeah!

Dee! Deandra!

Dee's the one going after Ryan Howard all of a sudden. Well, so what?

Definitely. Yeah. Absolutely. Mm hmm.

Denim chicken? Yes!

Dennis, you're married? Yes, man, I'm married. I'm a married man.

Dennis! Hey, Maureen! Wow. Look at you. You look amazing!

Dennis. Hmm?

Dennis. Yeah?

Dennis. Deandra. What are you doing here?

Diabetes. Diabetes.

Dicktowel. com. Yeah.

Did he die? Yeah.

Did you get that orange out of the garbage? I sure did.

Did you make out with me? I sure did.

Did you see that? Yeah, I saw that.

Did you smell her breath? Are you kidding me?

Didn't you get him when you were, like, 10? Oh, yeah.

Divorce! What? What did you just say?

Do what you do best. All right. Thanks, guys.

Do you forgive us? Absolutely.

Do you have any money? Uh, yeah, it's all right there.

Do you think there's someone in there? Well

Do you? Are you saying you don't have feelings?

Does anybody really even like surprise parties anyway? I don't.

Does it? Uh oh. Is he dying? No, no, no, he's fine.

Dog looks like a gargoyle. Yeah. He smells like piss.

Don't No. You know what?

Don't bring Jamie Nelson into this! Forget about it. Stop it.

Don't do airplane noises. Just give him the beer.

Don't do it while I'm talking. All right, well, we'll see.

Don't do it. I won't do it.

Don't eat trash, Charlie. I'll eat what I want to eat, okay?

Don't flatter yourself. I'm over you, sister. Since when?

Don't freak, dude. It's It's all good, dude. What?

Don't get Schmitty. Don't get Schmitty. I like Schmitty. He's nice

Don't knock the sewer till you've tried the sewer. You find shit down there.

Don't know why we thought that would be valuable. That's a collector's item.

Don't push me though, because I'm pregnant and I don't... Get in the bed.

Don't take it personally. Don't take it personally. I'm out of here.

Don't touch me with that. Hey! Stop it. Don't make me sick.

Don't touch me. All right. All right.

Don't undermine my prayer with voodoo. Okay. Prayer.

Don't worry about it, bro. We're prac

Don't worry about it, Dee. Oh! Let's party in the sewer.

Don't worry about it, Schmitty. We got to ya.

Don't you think? Yeah. I guess.

Done. All right. I'm gonna go rest.

Drain could What? I'm having a baby.

Drop it with the Juggalo thing. You're embarrassing me. Nah, I'm cool.

Drunken late night booty calls? Mm hmm.

Dude, this is our mail. Look at that.

Dude, what? Yeah.

Dude, you're not even close. No, Schmitty, this is all part of the ceremony.

Dude. Dude, we're gonna be the dad.

Duncan, go with it, baby. Yeah, let's go for it.

Easiest way. Easiest

Eh. No?

Enjoy the party. Thanks, Rex.

Excuse me? Get down on your knees and ask.

Excuse me. Shut up!

Felon class, huh? God! All right, okay, so let me see.

Find some water. Find some water?

Fire him down that? What? No.

Fire's getting big. Fire's getting big. Go!

Fish sounds good. See if they have fish there. I'll ask.

Five, four, three... What? No, I just never wanted to be

Flush it down the toilet 'cause I don't care! Oh, yeah?

Flush it, big boy! Yes! There we go!

Forget it. I'm out of here. No, no, wait!

Frank They're tasty, man.

Frank is the audience. Just keep your mouth shut. Sheet, sheet, sheet.

Frank, I got the perfect thing. Okay, great.

Frank, it's not good radio. 'Cause people like sex.

Frank, okay?" Ohh!

Frank, this shortcut sucks. It ain't a shortcut.

Frank. I'm Schmitty. Nice to Put her there.

Future All Star. Future All Star. Uh, we got a Korn CD.

Get a grip, but Okay.

Get off me though, for real. Okay.

Get out of here. No Mets fans!

Get the cup. Oh, yeah.

Get the dog off me! Fair enough, fair enough. Poppins, let's go.

Get them off the Internet. The Internet's a very, very dangerous place.

Get your spirit out of here. Hey, guys.

Give me back the ring! 'Cause you don't deserve it! Take the ring.

Gliding like a jabroni is what I'm gonna be doing. Jabroni. Okay, go.

Go ahead and toss this one in the trash for me. Busted! See?

Go ahead. Want to say we're sorry, Schmitty...

Go gossip. About what?

Go on. Okay. See? He's happier already.

Go! Go! Get lost! Wow! Guys!

Goddamn it! Okay, nature is bullshit.

Good afternoon. Without the sunglasses...

Good move. Why don't we get beers?

Good one. Excellent one. It's a very divisive issue these days.

Good work, Charlie. Yeah! That's what we do.

Good, good. Uh, Mr. Reynolds, there's one more thing.

Good. Go. If Charlie and I were gonna get married...

Got the meatball. Sit down!

Gotta dive in. Just finish already!

Gotta go to the show. Don't go by the knives.

Great. Well, come on. Yes! Yes, yes, yes.

Gross, Frank! Come on. You still get periods?

Happy birthday, Charlie. Happy birthday.

Have a conversation with her. Everybody, can we just Let's relax for a second.

Have you touched them yet? Absolutely not. What Who is this man?

He brings out the curmudgeon in me. Yeah.

He called us lower class? Yeah.

He did like skateboarding. Not much of a swimmer.

He didn't get on my nerves. No, he never got on my nerves.

He doesn't belong in a place like this. All right, come on.

He dropped the keys in the water. I did not.

He eats theater people. No, he doesn't.

He lives with me. Oh, yeah?

He made me say it. "He made me say it. " Listen to you, Mom.

He might not. He doesn't.

He's a happy clown. Hey, hey, hey! Break it up! Break it up!

He's a liar. You are not allowed to move the patients.

He's a Nordic God. Nordic God.

He's dead? Poppins is dead? Yes! He's dead!

He's not black. Of course, he's black!

He's still alive? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Heat wave! Heat wave! I'm sorry about that. Can I help you?

Hello? Yeah. Hey, Dee. It's Dennis, Mac and Frank.

Hello? Hello? Ho ho!

Hello. Hey! Frank!

Help my sister. Wait, wait, wait. Don't leave me.

Help! Help!

Help! Holy shit!

Here it comes! Try to grab it! Oh, no!

Here it is. Oh!

Here it is. What is this?

Here you go. That's it.

Here. Help us out. The boss isn't around. No. I'm I'm good.

Here's your spaghetti. Oh, don't dump it on the ground like that.

Hey, buddy. Yeah, what's going on there, pal?

Hey, can we have our phones back? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Charlie, did you guys ever find those keys?

Hey, Charlie! Hey, there he is! Charlie boy!

Hey, Cricket. Ooh. Where's the booze at? What's up, fellas?

Hey, Frank! Yeah.

Hey, how is your dad? Dad died last year.

Hey, how much money do we have left? 10,000 bucks.

Hey, Mac. Yeah.

Hey, take care of yourself. It was good to see you. I gotta pick up the kids.

Hey, there's an idea! Shelter. Absolutely not.

Hey, what's the matter? I've only just heard. I've only just heard.

Hey, who's on the line? Uh, uh, Mac from South Philly!

Hey, you want to go to the mall? No, no, wait. Stop!

Hey, you want to sit down? Yeah.

Hey! Hello! Hey!

Hey! Look at him. Look at That dog was

Hey! Maureen, how are ya? Dead tooth. Let me see the dead tooth.

Hey! Thank you, Penelope. There it is! Champagne!

Hey! That's a good one! Don't do that to me.

Hey! Tranny! Carmen. Yeah.

Hey! What the hell are you doing down there?

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Mm hmm?

Hey. Who invited Cricket?

Hey. L'il Kev. Hey, L'il Kev.

Hi yo! Oh oh oh, we're saved! Hey! Hey!

Hi, family, little ones. Hey!

Hi! Hello! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Dee, we're on it.

Hi. Artie, thanks for coming so quick.

Hi. Hi, ladies. Hi. Yeah.

Hi. Mac, right?

Him. Him.

Him. Yeah.

His eyes were so yellow. Okay.

His what? His dream book? Yeah.

Hmm, never heard of that before. There's a good reason for that, Frank...

Hmm? It's not your birthday?

Hmm? What even is that?

Hmm. Secondly

Hold on a second. Pick 'em up. There you go.

Hold the hockey stick. Hold the hockey stick.

Holy shit! He got on! Holy shit! I got on!

Honey, you want a blankie? I swaddle you, baby. I'll get to you.

Houseboat, huh? Yeah. Abso

How did I trick you? We were getting all pumped up about being this baby's dad.

How do I get this off? Take it easy.

How do you mean? Well, for one thing, she's in her apartment.

How is that not racist to you? What?

Huh? Mmm.

Huh? No, we're good, man. We're just having fun.

Huh? That's not cool! Wait.

Huh? What are you d

Huh? Yes!

Huh. Okay. All right.

Huh. You see what I'm saying about adventure, Charlie?

Hurry. Hurry up, guys. Hurry up.

Hyah! Absolutely. Take it.

Hyah! Oh, man. This is pathetic.

I Maybe I should go to my room.

I ain't scraping shit. No, we're not scraping!

I am going to roast like a pig. All right.

I asked Cricket to come. Cricket. He's outside. Cricket? No!

I bet it flew off when I Okay, you are a sleuth.

I bring nothing to the table! You bring nothing to the table!

I can do all kinds of stuff with both hands.

I can't do it. Jesus, dude. What is wrong with you?

I can't even believe those words are coming out of my mouth. I know.

I did those for you, man. I like 'em.

I did. He's a dumbass Juggalo.

I did. You did. That's a great term.

I didn't dress like a bird. I'm clearly an angel. No.

I didn't mean it like that. Monkeys?

I didn't think it mattered. How could it not matter?

I do, I do, I do. I do, but Good.

I don't give a shit about the car, okay? My life is in ruins. Mm hmm.

I don't give a shit. I'm captain! I called it! Locked in.

I don't have enough facts to support my argument. Clearly.

I don't know how you're gonna get all that milk off of you.

I don't know where That has a working television.

I don't know where That has a working television.

I don't know. No, I'm sorry. I No.

I don't know. What time did we say?

I don't know. She's walking. She's in a zombie state.

I don't like it. No, I'm coming.

I don't think it's edible. Can't I just test it?

I don't think we have any fish sticks. I bought some.

I don't understand what your point is. What are you talking about?

I don't want to live with her. Oh, Mom! Why not?

I don't want you to beat yourselves up for Okay, okay. I'm confused.

I feel like they're not coming back for us. They're coming back, okay?

I feel like you're not getting this. I'm not getting it.

I figured you're an expert, so we could talk to you. Fine. Just go ahead. What?

I forgot the beer. I'm sorry. You didn't bring the beer?

I got a dead dog over here. I got Groban in the park! Untie me!

I got a hot topic that I wanna talk about, Dee. Tell me what it is.

I got a tooth. Ooh, look at that.

I got him. Oh, come on.

I got it. Let's get a drink.

I got it. I got it. You got it? Good. Sit down.

I got wrapped up in the invitations. A party with no beer.

I got you. I got you. Hit me in the head. Hit me good.

I gotta be able to talk to Groban tomorrow. Who?

I gotta get out of here! Now calm down.

I gotta go deal with this. No. Hold on a second.

I gotta think like that guy that sits on the rock. This dude? The one like that?

I guess the first point I'd like to make Mm hmm?

I hate condoms. Hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em. Yeah.

I hate it! So what Did you want to get rid of that costume?

I hate this restaurant. Yeah, this restaurant blows.

I have a proposition. I have a proposition too.

I have a whole thing... Pass. It's too much work. What else you got?

I have an idea, Frank. Fixer's always got a fix. Yeah, what?

I have another one. Goddamn it, you guys! I am a teacher now, okay?

I have to defend your honor! Please stop it!

I have to defend your honor! Please stop!

I I bought it over there with that food. No, you didn't.

I incorporated a hamburger bun in a way that he found very

I just got tired of swimming in it. Then why are you here?

I just gotta go the bathroom. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I keep lugging pennies. Come on. You're in pain?

I knew he couldn't say it. Luau. Luau.

I knew you were seeing someone else! Honey, no

I know that grunt. She's open to it. Okay!

I know, but people do that, so try not to throw up. Oh, come on, dude.

I know. He's emotional. Schmitty...

I know. I wish they'd all go back to the desert. Yeah!

I know. Look at all this amazing food. Oh, I'm starving.

I lied about the chicken, Crick. Are you kidding me?

I like that one. I wanna pepper that one in. Okay.

I love it. Thank you.

I love it. I mean Aw.

I love you when you sing. She thinks she's going to the concert?

I mean You know. Okay.

I mean, I never thought I would hold $15,000. That's amazing, bro.

I mean, it was probably natural causes, or Suicide.

I mean, they've got stuff I've never even seen before. Yeah.

I miss him. Why did we ditch him in the first place? I don't know.

I never heard about this. Yeah, well, she doesn't like to brag.

I promised him a rotisserie chicken. Let's go. Chop chop.

I put it all on black. What?

I put it all on black. What?

I really appreciate you helping me, dude. Absolutely.

I really dodged a bullet on that one. You did, man.

I really gotta see a chiropractor, man. We'll look into it.

I recognize that. What is that? Oh, shit!

I remember now. Charlie soured on him. No.

I see Charlie eating grass all the time, okay? Oh, really?

I should dump her under the bridge! Dump her under the bri

I still wanna get to the bottom of that one. Right.

I take that back. I don't mean that. You can't take that back!

I think he might. He does.

I think I am. Yeah, you are.

I think I'm having this baby. Doctor!

I think I've broke my hip. Oh.

I think it's some dago word, but it sounds like a hockey word. It does

I think we gotta stop and think about what Charlie wants. Yeah.

I want fries. Fries for this guy.

I want to say a couple words. Yes, please.

I was really in love with that girl, huh? Yeah.

I would say I would say, you look like an ostrich! Yes!

I'll do the candles. Frank, please do the candles. Dennis, the song.

I'll drink to that. You know what you got that Charlie doesn't quite have?

I'll eat alone. I'm gonna find Frank.

I'll have a few lemons. But then I'm out of here. All right, here we go.

I'll have a ginger ale. All right! Come on, man! Get into it!

I'll just pull over. Great job, Frank. Frank, come on.

I'll occupy Charlie. No.

I'll show it to you. I don't wanna see it.

I'll swallow it whole. Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't have to do that.

I'll take over. Why's he being a big time puss?

I'll tell him the keg exploded. That's a stupid idea.

I'll tell you what. That's why I'm building this little puppy.

I'm a hot, single lady. He's a hot, single man. Hot?

I'm a sexy angel. Are we supposed to pretend...

I'm done with this. I told you animals suck.

I'm Frank. Frank?

I'm going back to the bar. I'm taking the spaghetti. Go to the bar.

I'm gonna bring my guest in. Guest?

I'm gonna get him on my team, okay? Good.

I'm gonna go make us fish sticks. Uh, I don't

I'm gonna grab it. I'm gonna pick him up. And jam shit down his throat!

I'm gonna hang back and oil up my glove. Your glo

I'm gonna kick your ass, bro! Leave us alone!

I'm gonna kill the shit out of it. Don't.

I'm gonna lose my kids. Okay, great.

I'm gonna scream in his face and see if he wakes up. Do not scream in the man's face.

I'm gonna talk to the principal, see if I can get that job. Don't do that.

I'm gonna throw up. No, no, no, no! Not in there!

I'm here to get my baby. What?

I'm hitching a ride back home. Calm down, Char

I'm hot as shit, Dee. Oh, yeah.

I'm hot. My mom's hot. I'm hot too.

I'm jumping in the pool! Yeah. Plus I'm gonna piss in it.

I'm just gonna let it ring, 'cause it's crazy shit. Answer the goddamn phone!

I'm keeping the hot plate! Over my dead body!

I'm kind of in the middle of something right now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm mad at the Stop straining yourself.

I'm never going to do that. You're gonna touch his eye with your knuckle?

I'm never going to do that. You're gonna touch his eye with your knuckle?

I'm not going in there. I don't sink. What?

I'm not gonna bash you, Charlie. Just bash me like a rat!

I'm not helping you. That's all right. I'll do it myself.

I'm not raising a nerd, bro. If it's a nerd, I'm gonna bash his head in.

I'm not surprised. Oh, I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

I'm not the one who's married. I didn't do anything wrong. You let him buy you a car.

I'm not wearing this stupid thing, and that's it. It's a lei.

I'm really pumped to meet this guy. Ah, he was the coolest.

I'm referring more to the blackface of it all. What's wrong with the blackface?

I'm saying that now. Can I say that now? What?

I'm serious. You get down, Dee. All right, all right.

I'm sorry. Yeah, he got into some cold medicine. Sorry.

I'm starving here

I'm strong, dude. I'm definitely getting stronger.

I'm sure you do. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm taking my car back. Nuh uh. That's my car.

I'm telling you, look, look. We got to agree on this.

I'm trying to bond with you. That's how you bond with me asking if I still get periods?

I'm worried the sunglasses are ridiculous. The sunglasses lighten the mood.

I've never seen anything like this. It's incredible. She's going outside.

I've seen 'em, and I like 'em too. Yeah, they're good.

If that's the only language he understands. In the mood for sweets?

If we can't do that, what does that say about us? You're right.

Immediately. Okay.

Is catching me some Delaware River catfish. Oh, yeah!

Is he dead, Dennis? I'm sure he's just sleeping. Get in bed.

Is it cool? It's cool.

Is it? When it just bulges? It bulges out a little bit there.

Is one of you Frank? Oh, actually, uh

Is she waking up my mom? No! No, Mom!

Is that coke? Yeah. I picked up a couple grams on the way over.

Is that gonna happen? Maybe bubbly water.

Is this a prank? No, no.

Is this how you wanted those women to feel? No.

Is this the big news? No. I ran into the tranny.

Is this the ring story again? And it goes into the gutter?

It actually does. Whoa. Um, where is your ring?

It becomes public domain. Now we're just trying to figure out who banged Dee.

It does feel good to do stuff in threes. Okay, you know what?

It goes straight to Atlantic City. I'm avoiding tolls.

It has been decided, so sayeth Thor. Thor said it.

It is, man. This is what we do. A lot of dicking around.

It It It Listen.

It just didn't sound like it was that bad over there. Look...

It was bullshit. Oh, my God. Unbelievable. Why do I even trust you?

It was in the sewer. What is our mail doing in the sewer?

It's a great idea. It's not a good idea though...

It's a hockey question! Go, go! Hockey, hockey!

It's a little bit of an exaggeration, but I see your point. Yeah.

It's a phrase that means performing on command. It's a phrase.

It's a pleasure to meet you. The pleasure's still

It's a terrific heat wave, and it's affecting everybody. It really is.

It's a ton of work. Yeah. Does Charlie even know what a luau is?

It's a whole Okay.

It's all deep end. Hell, yeah, we had fun, dude.

It's back in, Dennis. Check it out. I don't care.

It's fine by me. Yeah, good.

It's full of branches and shit. It's a big mess.

It's gonna get not funny after a little while. No, no, that's good.

It's gonna make a mess in my purse. I'm leaving...

It's just our little secret. I've been in a bar before.

It's like a horse's tooth or something. Ah, yeah.

It's like the coolest word I Is that a hockey thing? Yeah N I don't know.

It's none of you. Huh?

It's not a word. Huh?

It's not anything serious, Mac! Just answer

It's not Luther Vandross. Make sure you tell 'em it's not Luther Vandross.

It's pretty much nonexistent. Hmm.

It's the bedbugs. Oh!

It's the failure. It's the failure.

It's the most direct way to clear up our argument, Dee, so... What argument?

It's upsetting the baby. I hate all the responsibility that I have...

It's very relaxey. We're stuck in the pool!

Juggalo, bro. Juggalo. He's a Juggalo.

Juggalo. It's sort of a clown posse.

Juggalos for life, bitch! Watch what you say, Richard.

Just be a dad to her. Oh, this is so boring. This is bullshit.

Just don't let it slip out. But I kind of wanna tell him.

Just eat it fast and we'll go. No. I wanna enjoy it and watch the movie.

Just give me the phone. We're stuck in a pool!

Just keeping a log of the party. We like to do that. Oh.

Just sort of the general The general whatever.

Last Halloween. Oh, Halloween.

Later, bitches. Okay.

Laurence Olivier in Othello, dude. Perfect.

Lemons. Lemons?

Let me backstage. She thinks she's going backstage.

Let me have those coupons. No. You said I could have them.

Let's do something else. Okay, right. We can find something to do.

Let's find the dad. It's the dad's responsibility.

Let's find the dad. Yeah. Okay.

Let's get crazy. Let's get nuts, you guys.

Let's get the hell out of here. All right.

Let's go to the ice. Let's go to the ice.

Let's go. This will be fun. All right, let's go.

Let's not argue on this or think about it too much. No.

Let's not fight. It's a bachelor party. Oh!

Let's not push too many of those. You're abusing it.

Like a pirate was brushing his hair No!

Like a worm, yeah. And then the third one and this is the best one

Like it? Ooh!

Like sewage. Ha ha! Good one, Dee.

Like Stevie Nicks. That's actually Steve Winwood.

Like they're my hands? Like that?

Like this? It's more like a rolling sway.

Linguine's too heavy for lunch. No, no. What do you want?

Little bit of deliciousness here? I'm not gonna eat that.

Look at this. We're married. Yeah.

Look what Charlie and I found. Look at this.

Look! "The gang."

Look. Huh.

Mac, do you have the ring? Yeah.

Mac, get my back, dude! I'm here, buddy!

Mac! Charlie! What's up, man? You guys came to support me!

Mac? Yeah.

Mac's the dad! Chant with me. No

Mac's the dad! Let's go! Mac No, I'm not the

Man, I used to have some jean shorts like that too.

Maybe he, but Not anymore.

Maybe if you get me some bubbly water. Slow down Here we go.

Maybe in a crawl space or a backyard bunker? No. They're out in the car.

Maybe the bridge is exciting. The bridge is awesome.

Maybe there's a drawing or What is that? That's a bird with teeth.

Maybe we should gut it. All right.

Maybe, uh, in this Oh, yeah? Yeah. Let's do this.

Meow. That you seem so fond of.

Miss Reynolds, please report to the front office immediately.

Miss Reynolds, to the front office, please. Emergency?

Mm hmm. Come on.

Mm hmm. Okay, good. 'Cause I was thinking I'd have a position sort of like this.

Mm hmm. They'll love it there. Run that right up the ladder, right?

Mmm! Oh!

Mmm. He's fully aroused, mind you.

Mmm. Kind of tragic.

Mmm. Oh.

Mother pus bucket! You piece of shit! You broke my wall!

Moving on, how was the spa? Spa?

Mrs. Kelly? Yes?

Nah, but I'm thriving here, I'll tell you what. Uh huh. Yeah.

Nah, I'm a'ight. Yeah. Said the turkey.

Nerds get nowhere in life. Oh, my God. Is he a nerd?

Nice and easy. Here we go. Oh, yes. This is my ride.

Nice! But I am not taking my top off.

No job at all. Mmm.

No keys. Can't find 'em. What?

No more throwing rocks, right? Hello?

No take backs! I didn't mean any of those things.

No, dude. Do not tell them that we're stuck in here. Why?

No, he does not. Wow.

No, I do want this kind of thing. No, you don't.

No, I don't imagine you will, on account of the

No, I don't. I don't. This party blows.

No, I'm not kidding you. Wait a second.

No, man, we're not mad No.

No, no scraping. Here's what we're gonna do.

No, no, no, no, no! Black wins!

No, no, no, no, no. He's gay.

No, no, no, no, no. If this is about you and me, then just say that.

No, no, no, no. You're better Byron. Yeah!

No, no, no, we're good, dude. Nah, dude, nah. No, we're

No, no, no. I can have fries?

No, no, we're not prostitutes. Definitely not a lizard.

No, no. My dick is fine, Dee. It's a mess down there. It's a monster.

No, suck on a lemon. Here. Go ahead. Well, they are good for scurvy.

No, that is not great. No?

No, tomorrow night. That's not tonight. You sing in my ears.

No, we got a party to get ready for. Yeah.

No, we're not. You're not wasted?

No, we've never been more serious in our lives. Yeah.

No, you haven't. I've been in this bar before, so

No, you just wouldn't Yeah.

No, you should stay. Yeah.

No, you tacked on weight. I tacked on mass. Muscle mass.

No, you're not, Charlie. I'm a rat in here!

No! Don't kiss him!

No! Dude! Sorry.

No! No, no, no, no, no, no. You got a minute?

No? No. You got parts of it right...

No? That's not the way it happened.

No. 500 bucks.

No. 500 bucks.

No. Hey!

No. It's good.

No. Maybe like a brush

No. No, dicks. It's my birthday.

No. Then why are you gagging? Oh, that

No. Don't come near me. Don't make me sick. All right. All right.

No. It's totally fine. That's what we should call him Dickless Dennis.

No. No. Let it ride, please.

Not a very good swimmer. No, he wasn't. No.

Not gay. I'm down with that.

Not on the floor! Dude, my back!

Not today, Doc. What are you doing, Dee?

Nothing but busy signals. I'm on hold on all of 'em. We're gonna get through.

Nothing. We're just hanging out. We got stuck in this

Now I got to reroute the pig delivery. Nobody gives a shit.

Now shut up. Let me just find it. I'm sorry.

Now that it's not one of us, I mean Who cares?

Now, Dennis. Peel out. Yeah

Now, let's talk hotel rooms. Um, you know, I

Now, look at how close they look. Look at that.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Oh, come on. Dump it on her head.

Oh, come on. This is unwatchable.

Oh, Dennis. Oh, my God. What?

Oh, fire's getting bigger. What?

Oh, for the divorce. Yeah. The divorce.

Oh, God. Dickless Dennis.

Oh, hey, Dee. Hey, Charlie. Great costume.

Oh, hey. Hey! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I don't work. Oh.

Oh, I'm sure. Oh, man! Oh!

Oh, it is You can't escape it. You absolutely can't.

Oh, it's from Dennis. Oh.

Oh, it's pretty sweet. I am. I'm his living situation.

Oh, it's tearing me up inside. What?

Oh, let's go. Oh, yeah, we should take that as a sign, right?

Oh, my What are you thinking? I'm trying to watch my stories.

Oh, my back. Oh! I'll get you.

Oh, my G I think I got to go to a hospital.

Oh, my God, dude! Look at that!

Oh, my God. That is not doing something nice. That is tricking us.

Oh, my God. Really? Yes. Oh, my God.

Oh, my goodness. Okay. All right, let's get crazy.

Oh, my goodness. Whoa.

Oh, nice. Whoa. That's impressive.

Oh, no! No, no, no. What?

Oh, really, dude? Whoo!

Oh, really? Bunch of bullshit, dawg!

Oh, really? This is a very specific sect of lower class, okay?

Oh, really? Yeah, really.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, shit, dude. Look at that truck right there. Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit. We gotta distract him.

Oh, son of a bitch! What?

Oh, that's Marky Mark. That's Marky Mark.

Oh, that's Schmitty! Schmitty!

Oh, that's very off putting, Dennis. We should have relabeled it.

Oh, there he goes. Ah.

Oh, they're doing their coughing thing. Yeah, I hear that.

Oh, wait, wait. What? What? What?

Oh, yeah, Charlie. I'm not going into a sewer.

Oh, yeah? Mom was the manager at Jiffy Lube for many years.

Oh, yeah. Hey, you remember how you used to try to get me...

Oh, yeah. I like this one. Exodus 21, verses 20, 21. Mmm.

Oh, yes! Hit us, baby!

Oh, you gotta stretch before this thing, huh? Enjoy it.

Oh, you're gonna jam the car in my face, huh? Mmm.

Oh! I'll do it.

Oh! Is that Schmitty?

Oh! Oh, are you alive?

Oh! Oh, no.

Oh! Oh! No offense.

Oh! Really? You guys gonna go?

Oh! How you doin'? Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Oh! Oh, no! Suck you later.

Oh! Oh! No, Dee, that's...

Oh! Oh! Nothing! This is my money!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Did you get my back?

Oh! Ooh! Whew!

Oh! Yeah. Yeah.

Oh. Dennis, what do we say in this situation?

Oh. Oh, that's great!

Oh. We're sort of sticklers for that kind of thing too.

Oh. Well, you are somewhat responsible for this.

Oh. What?

Oh. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh. A little sweetness, huh? Want a little something sweet?

Oh. Oh! Oh!

Oh. You wanna get him a new rat stick? That's a good idea.

Okay, all right. Okay.

Okay, all that. Honestly, don't eat those.

Okay, but, you guys Dee, knock it off.

Okay, Charlie, how about this? Uh huh?

Okay, fine. Let's do this! Come on, dude! Let's do this thing!

Okay, Frank, all right, all right. All right.

Okay, hop in there. Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is this? What are you doing?

Okay, I'm sorry. I have to admit...

Okay, so hold on. What kind of voice is that?

Okay, yes. And there you have it!

Okay, you can't talk about my mom like that! Okay.

Okay! Great, great, great. So, last step

Okay? Can you Done.

Okay. Did you get the apartment back?

Okay. Let's go. Okay.

Okay. Mac, why don't we get started?

Okay. Okay. Well, get up.

Okay. Sure. We'll just

Okay. That steps on our thing a little bit, but

Okay. All right. Let's just let them be, though, huh?

Okay. Excuse me. All right.

Okay. Hey, you! Wake up right now if you're not dead! All right, damn it, Dee. Stop.

Okay. Is that why you got that gold chain? That's why I got the gold chain.

Okay. It was The Thinker. It's The Thinker. You couldn't spell hockey.

Okay. Oh! Yeah.

Okay. So, fire out C Come on!

Okay. That is incredibly shady. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay. That is incredibly shady. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay. Then what are you doing here? I'm glad you asked.

Okay. Yeah. That's what I'll do. Hey, no, wait! Hold on!

One word. Shrimp.

One, two, three. Get out of here, goddamn it!

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One's a girl, one's a guy. Yeah.

Ooh, ooh, calm down. All right. All right. Sorry. All right. No big deal.

Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh! What? What?

Ooh. Oh.

Ooh. You're right.

Ooh. Ouch. Yeah.

Ooh. She's up. I'll come find you.

Our lives are, definitely. Yeah. Without a doubt.

Ow! Son of a bitch! Wha Wha What?

Parade 'em around like dancing monkeys? Right. Oh, no

Party! It's a party, yo.

Pass. Just let me finish.

People are really going to town, one side against the other. Oh, absolutely.

Pictures! Holy shit. Look at that!

Please don't I don't want to though.

Please have a wonderful day. We'll see you very soon. Hey, kids.

Plus, I feel like this would be a really good opportunity to... Dennis, cover it up.

Poor guy on a day like this. Oh, my God.

Pull us up! Don't go!

Put on a few LB's since I saw you last, huh? Nope!

Quiet down! The movie's boring.

Quite drunk. You should feel shame.

Ready? Uh huh.

Really get the crowd up and raise the roof. Huh? Okay.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yes!

Really? You'll switch costumes with me? I didn't even wanna be

Remember you changed? Byron, you've changed.

Right now? Yeah! Immediately!

Right on. You know, dudes. Let's talk about dude stuff.

Right, that's on you. Yeah, I probably won't be here much longer myself.

Right? That's pretty good.

Right. But the Charlie thing We're doing the Charlie thing.

Right. I cannot stand the feel of a condom on my dick.

Right. Mm hmm.

Right. Oh, really?

Right. Same dude, right? It's not the same dude.

Run it up the ladder. Mac, dude, I think you're just getting upset...

Same weight. Same weight I always been. He put on a lot of weight.

Say yes, huh? Yeah. Hey, let me show you something. Let me show you something.

Screw this. I'm gonna go make it rain. All right.

See that hose right there? That'd be good. Just pull us up.

See? Okay, there we go. Darth Vader was not black.

Severely lacking in class. Yeah. Too much? My bad. Got carried away.

She can't smoke in here. I know, Mom. Uh

She doesn't want a dog eating her face. Well, you know what?

She means business. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

She might not even know herself. There's always overlap.

She smells. I know she smells.

She's not giving you too much trouble, is she? No. Oh, my gosh.

She's zonked. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shea butter. Oh.

Shh. You shh.

Shirt. A shirt with your money.

Shit! Get out of my room. Oh! Just one more. One more.

Should we call the police? No, no. Let's just go.

Should we call the police? No, no. Let's just go.

Shut up and watch the movie. I don't wanna shut up and watch the movie.

Snap! What?

So Let's go get you a divorce, huh?

So are my two kids. Want to see little Oh!

So how much does he owe you? What?

So I sort of had to call you Hey, hey, I I miss you too, bud.

So I was like I'm gonna go.

So if you know any voodoo or whatever, go ahead and... Should we join hands?

So it does seem like they're bonding, right? Yeah.

So it's more humane. Yeah?

So it's not gonna slide. All right, you know what? You wanna do this the right way?

So listen, guys. We just got married. What?

So pop that on. I will. Okay. Sorry about that.

So she went to the bathroom to clean herself up.

So they are in danger? No one's in any danger.

So we also have the bird, with teeth. Yep.

So what? There's no dad in the picture.

So which one is it? Which one were you talking about?

So you can see Oh! Get a little dust cloud going.

So you got me a gift. Yes.

So you two know each other. No, we met in

So you're gonna have to take care of him. What are you talking about?

So, you'd like to buy a boat. Yes. We have recently...

So... I'm gonna eat the food, for sure. I'm starving.

Some people are for it, some people are against it

Somebody's gotta stay here with her. You think so?

Son of a bitch. Where's Duncan?

Sorry, Charlie. I'm sorry too.

Sorry? This orange it belong to you?

Sorry. You want to have sex? What? No.

Squirrel! What?

Stem cell research is a very Why are you still pu

Still got a ways, huh? Yeah.

Stop pushing sound effects. I want to talk about ser

Stupid costume is so sexy. What?

Sui Suicide? Car exhaust, yeah.

Sure, pick up the kids, yeah. Bye, Bill.

Sure. Uh, you have the job.

Surprise. Perfect. Thank you. All right, cool.

Swim club. Swim club.

Swim up bar. That's good, dude. Yeah.

Take it easy. Just bash me, Frank.

Take the dog? Grab the dog!

Takin' a long time, dude. We wanted to buy a boat. Let's get the boat.

Teach me how to shoot the shot! All right, fine, fine. Calm down. All right.

Than whatever that drivel was we were listening to. Without a doubt.

Thank you. Sit.

Thanks for bringing him over, yeah. He's a great dog.

Thanks for coming to the party, Bill. Thanks for having me, guys.

Thanks, guys. This is the guy that's defending our country?

Thanks, Rex. Thank you.

Thanks. Yeah. You should probably also be wearing a wig.

That does not exist in nature. Okay.

That is a gay marriage. Uh, I got a question for you

That looks like my hands. Yeah.

That means absolutely. Okay! Oh, sweet.

That seems really dark. No, it's not dark. You're misunderstanding me, bro.

That voice really is amazing, dude. Oh, thanks, man. Thank you.

That was an implication, right? That was definitely the implication.

That was beautiful, Frank. Okay, where the hell are Charlie and Dennis?

That was my bad. Mmm.

That was over a year ago? Yeah. She wasn't very nice to me.

That'd be cool. Sure. Whatever.

That'd be good. But we're not actually eating the food.

That'll buy us some time, right? Mm mmm. Makes me feel like I have to touch him.

That's a good idea. I'm gonna go to the car I'm not doing that. No!

That's a new rat stick, dude. Yeah.

That's a stupid idea. We're going with the burst pipe. I like the keg idea.

That's crazy. Bat shit crazy.

That's Frank Reynolds, everybody! I have a great topic for you.

That's gonna be very Be very careful with that. Oh, my God, you guys.

That's her. Answer the phone, Charlie.

That's just an accurate portrayal. I don't understand that.

That's kind of weird. Charlie, chug this.

That's nasty. Oh, Charlie, she's spitting into my porcelain.

That's not the mystery. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's Poppins? Ooh, yeah!

That's pretty good right there, Charlie. You look so awkward.

That's so hypocritical. Okay, that's not hypocritical. People eat chickens and turkeys.

That's the classiest actor of all time. Perfect.

That's the rule. Yep.

That's the way I throw. Jump in there and get 'em.

That's the whole thing. You have to distract him. That's... Oh, shit. Yeah.

That's what it is. I like that. An equally effective movie.

That's when Dee came in. Oh, hey, Dee.

The few we've had, we've squandered. We've squandered 'em all.

The guy from C.S.I. Go! She means business.

The keg has arrived. Hey, Frank.

The keys! You found the keys!

The lady's taken. Get out of my face, bro.

The ones that flail around in the wind. No, I don't. I look good.

The Philly fans are brutal, dude. All right, fine!

The plan is you guys execute this list. Mm hmm.

The police think that William Peterson And he gets it.

The Thinker? The Thinker.

The waving thing's awesome, that's true. It's pretty sweet, right?

The White House. They do it. This is cool, okay?

The who? Thor.

The whole idea is getting the right color shoe polish. No!

Then don't do it. I felt like I was doing it pretty good.

Then we can get an audience to weigh in. That's not a bad idea.

There could be so many dads. No, sperm doesn't eat the egg.

There was another member of the gang? Oh, yeah, dude.

There was no time for an ocular pat down. Not in my bar, bro.

There you go. Toss that pizza down too. I'm starving.

There's a billion of them out there. Ugh. What the hell happened?

There's a name for it. A burner?

There's a reason he didn't work out. Let's go.

There's a room full of dudes out there, so you might wanna... Yeah.

There's gonna be all sorts of exotic creatures there. You think so?

There's no "H" key! There's an "H" right there!

There's no guy? There's no guy. It's complicated.

There's no wiggle room there. No.

There's water everywhere. Help!

They are tasty. These almonds? Yeah, they're fine.

They are. Yeah.

They could be the dirt! Exactly.

They have ceremonies for all sorts of men's clubs. Yeah.

They have to be funny. The lips have to be outlined. It's not about funny.

They're gonna live together. Oh, Poppins?

They're not even talking to each other. My mom's not very verbal.

They're perfectly good. Guys. Guys, guys. I've got news.

They've done this before. Thank you. All done with you. You can go.

Think of all the fish we're gonna catch. Not just fish, Frank.

This aggressive music you're playing. Huh?

This close, baby. That is a load off my shoulders, man.

This has not been a good situation. Let's go to bed.

This is a bummer. Yeah, this is a major bummer.

This is a letter to my future self. What?

This is Bill. Hey, you guys.

This is for the rats! Take it easy.

This is gonna take forever, man. That's good.

This is sketchy as hell. Yeah.

This is stupid. Get out. You're stupid.

This is where I take a shower. This is where I live, Dennis.

This is you! Oh! Here we go. Here we go.

This isn't the shirt that I picked out. Yeah. No. Well, no.

This one look off to you? One, two, three. No, it's fine. It's fine.

This picture looks nothing like you. Well, thank you.

This place is pretty nice. Yeah.

This scuba equipment's broken. It's useless. The hell with it.

This shit is really expensive. You're telling me.

Those are all Yeah, I mean

Today's his birthday. Are you kidding me?

Toss it up. Okay.

Toss me the keys. Here you go.

Truce, truce. That one really hurt.

Tub of lard over here. Take it easy, okay?

Two cool married dudes. Dudes. Two dudes.

Two gay dudes married. Is my role in this done now?

Two war You don't say.

Two, one. Teaching doesn't No offense. What are you doing?

U.S.A! Not like that. Make it classy.

Uh Yeah.

Uh Yes, it is.

Uh huh. And I'm serious. I'll eat that eraser whole.

Uh huh. Interesting.

Uh huh. The question is:

Uh oh. Whiff! I just missed that. I just missed that.

Uh, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah.

Uh, hey, Schmitty. Running kinda late there, huh? Am I?

Uh, I don't think so. "Oh, I don't think so."

Uh, Miss Reynolds, is, uh, you are a substitute. That's right.

Uh, no. Looks pretty good. Not too peeled.

Uh, right. Yeah.

Uh, we were cleaning it. Wow, wow, wow. What's that all about?

Uh, yeah! Yeah! Oh Yeah, that was

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Uh, you're not ragging it, are you? What? Gr

Uh... And what do you guys want? Order whatever you want.

Um, where is she going to be staying? Here, of course.

Underground luau theme. What?

Very nice meeting you. Get out of the car!

Very nice turn. Try not to laugh too much, 'cause it's gonna

Wait a sec. What's this? I don't know.

Wait. You guys switched parts? Yeah, yeah.

Wanna get some of this pizza? We might as well. I haven't eaten.

Want a bite? No.

War? Good one! Yeah.

War. War!

We always go in the sewer. We hang out in the sewer.

We bagged him. We certainly did.

We can do it. We'll do these things. We'll do these things.

We can use it whenever we want. It's public domain at that point.

We can't eat the rabbit. He's got my soul. What are you talking about?

We could do it. Boom.

We don't have time to take a shower. Here we go. Oh.

We don't want them thinking it's an interrogation.

We got a little derailed earlier. We did.

We got hockey to learn! And we're gonna

We got to fill that thing up with gas. I know, man.

We got to socialize. I could socialize.

We got you from here. We got you. I'm coming with you.

We gotta do this right. You gotta look good. Yeah.

We gotta find the dad! We gotta find that dad. You're right.

We live in the same apartment. Let me explain to you guys...

We only come here for special occasions. Yeah.

We play Night Crawlers all the time. You do?

We said 3:00. We said 3:00, and it's, like

We say no! We're gonna say no in this situation. Why? No! Why?

We went around you, Frank. Yeah.

We will. God knows what he's gonna ruin in the future.

We'd beat the heat that way. I'm not popping shit.

We'll blaze through these in no time. Yeah.

We'll cook 'em for you. There you go.

We'll find the dad. You better find that dad. This is not fair.

We'll give you a gold chain. Ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah.

We'll jump on board with the party. What's the plan? Okay.

We'll take care of the movie. No, no. You're not taking care of the movie.

We'll take some shots. What else are we here for, dude? Let's do some shots!

We'll take the dog. Calm down.

We'll work on the friendship thing later. No, don't do that.

We're best friends. Excellent.

We're cool as cucumbers. Bump it.

We're gonna be the father of the baby now. We're gonna be the fathers.

We're gonna fire up the boat, right? Yeah.

We're in the midst of two wars? Huh!

We're loading our gear. No, no, no, no. You should not be loading.

We're not I'm not gonna judge you neither.

We're not bleeding all over the place. All over the place?

We're not in the back office. We're in a casino.

We're not taking the dog. You're taking the dog.

We're out of here. Let's go. Yeah.

We're so much better dads than these guys. Yeah, look at this.

We're sorry for your loss. Yee aaah!

We're trespassing. Yeah.

We're trying Hey, no. No time.

Weird! No, she was legal. She was totally legal.

Well What's crappenin', fellas?

Well, do something 'cause this is upsetting me. All right! All right!

Well, don't. Okay, well

Well, Frank enjoys those games very much. Oh. Oh.

Well, he's definitely a candidate. Oh, boys.

Well, it's classy. Neither.

Well, that didn't do anything. That was pretty pathetic. You're right.

Well, that's a relief to all of us. Ooh!

Well, this is a shit hole, isn't it? Yeah.

Well, we all did. We all did. Hey, what about the museum?

Well, yeah. It's absolute nonsense.

Wha Are you kidding me?

What What'd he say? What?

What a life. Yeah.

What are you doing this afternoon? How's it goin'?

What are you doing? Dude, I am gonna say yes to everything!

What are you doing? Huh?

What are you doing? Oh, hey, guys, come here.

What are you gonna do, send him to the moon? Right. I mean, come on.

What are you guys doing here? I'm taking Charlie to the spa because he's stressed.

What are you guys doing? Cool. We're actually looking for Poppins.

What are you talking about? Is there another way to spell "hockey"?

What are you talking about? Me, mine

What are you talking about? Shh! The movie's on.

What do you make of that, guys? That looks like a drawing of a pair of jeans.

What do you mean? Boat is on fire.

What do you think? Oh, you like it?

What does 3D even stand for? Third dimension.

What else is in there? Uh Oh! Old pictures!

What gives is that we're in the middle of goddamn nowhere.

What happened to Poppins? He w He, uh

What happened? Spill.

What if I do this? That's way stiffer!

What is happening here? Why are you taping them? Because they got great banter.

What is happening in here? I don't know.

What is it? Hello. Luau. Luau.

What is she, some cheap tramp? Oh, no!

What is that? It's like some kind of dock party mixer, dude.

What is that? The future of radio, you jabronis.

What is that? What are you doing? That was a duck.

What is that? What'd you do? I got you a present, bro.

What is this? It's the shirt that I that I picked out.

What is this? We didn't put this in here. Surprise!

What is wrong with you? It's not what's wrong with me, Frank.

What is your job in the war? Let me just

What juice? Oh. He's ice cold.

What the hell are you doing? Oh, I went to the health food store.

What the hell are you doing? What?

What the hell is this? It's our movie.

What the hell? Whoa. Time out, buddy. What's going on here?

What the hell's happening back there? A few buddies came along.

What up? Juggalo for life. What the hell is he talking about?

What was in that trash bag? Poppins.

What was that? Ah, you know, just playing it safe.

What you thinking? I'm saying we fix up this pool.

What, this? Yeah, that box there.

What, what, what, what, what? Dennis being a dick. Don't worry about it, man.

What? Go! Go!

What? Guess who found the keys.

What? He's fine?

What? Oh, no.

What? Okay, now that I'd like to see.

What? One, two, three.

What? That wasn't me. I switched costumes with Dennis.

What? That's a rock, Dennis.

What? That's how you patronize someone right there.

What? That's what happens. Mac told me.

What? There's no guy in the picture?

What? Well, he ate a lot of cold medicine, and he croaked.

What? Wh What the hell you talking about?

What? What the hell?

What? What?

What? What?

What? Yeah, you're all tied up. It's for your own safety.

What? Yes!

What? You heard me. Get out of here, you stupid idiot.

What? What happened? What was that?

What? What's going on, Frank? What are you doing?

What'd you put in there? Oh, man. We just put a bunch of stuff in here...

What's going on here? Good. I'm glad you're here too

What's going on? Yeah.

What's he talking about? Oh, he's Pipe down, Frank.

What's the best way to do that when we're texting? Who cares, dude?

What's the deal here, bud? Well, no, she contacted me for a while...

What's up? Oh, you're Duncan.

What's with the beers? Are you carbo loading? No.

Whatever, Frank. Nobody

Whatever. Just get out of our face. Your breath is awful.

Whatever. We gotta go. A keg would never explode.

Where I get stuck in a pool where I'm definitely gonna die!

Where is Charlie? He's in the water.

Where is this coming fr This is not This is embarrassing.

Where the hell is Oh! Nice.

Where's our goddamn Bible? We don't have a Bible in here.

Which one is that one? This one.

Who cares, right? It's no big deal.

Who gives a shit? Yeah.

Who Thor? Is that your Greek God reference?

Who took the shot? I took the shot.

Who wears a plastic suit? I don't know, Frank.

Who's Dr. Larry Meyers? Nobody. It doesn't matter.

Who's this jerk? Uh, this is my boyfriend.

Whoa! Oh, my God!

Whoa! Ho, ho! Whoo!

Whoa! Yeah! Yes! Yes!

Whoa. Whoa. Mom, go to bed!

Whoo, ooh! Whoa, baby!

Whoo! Dennis!

Whoo! Wow, dude. This pool is sweet, man. It's super deep.

Whoo! Yeah. The ladies have arrived.

Why are you guys acting so weird? Yeah.

Why are you not in bed? I slipped out for a quick sandwich and a soda.

Why are you piping in, trash? You shut your mouth, trash. You're swimming in this

Why aren't you understanding this? I don't

Why do they have the I don't know.

Why do you think I'm wearing a leather suit? Are you? Is that leather?

Why don't we have a Bible? We never have.

Why don't we just get started? Why don't we just get started?

Why is that? The goddamned E.P.A. They says they're toxic.

Why is this turned off? You're back. You don't even

Why not? A keg exploded.

Why would he be dead from the juice? We killed Poppins? Oh, shit!

Why would I ever hurt these women? I don't know.

Why would you feed us alley almonds? Why wouldn't you tell us that?

Why would you make a duck noise right in the middle of my thing? It was funny.

Why? Because I need these kids to respect me, you know...

Why? I dug it up last night.

Why? I want to make you well.

Why? We were gonna be great dads.

Why? What happened? Well, mostly because we're all on this side.

Will you lighten up? I'd like to make it rain. Can I make it rain, Mac?

Will you stop talking about this! This has nothing to do... Ohh!

Will you take this seriously? I am taking it seriously.

With With you. Thanks.

Worm hat. Worm hat.

Would you like to bet again, sir? Yes, I would.

Would you shut up? Oh, no.

Wound got infected. It was a whole ordeal. Ugh!

Wow, you're really doing it. I'm kidding. I'm kidding! Oh! Oh, he's joking!

Wow, you're really doing it. I'm kidding. I'm kidding! Oh! Oh, he's joking!

Wow. All yours.

Wow. She's all worked up.

Wow. We wouldn't do that. Not no more.

Wow. We wouldn't do that. Not no more.

Wow. Well, you know, keep up the good work.

Wow. Did you see that? She's like Mr. Magoo.

Wow. Sounds great. Yeah.

Yeah No

Yeah, but You should keep 'em.

Yeah, but you derailed us. I thought I'd up the production value, add some sound effects.

Yeah, but you're not really driving a motorcycle. It's my thing, okay?

Yeah, come on, kids. Let's go home. No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, dawg. He's bathing himself, and I'm watching.

Yeah, he's just in here chowing down on a diaper.

Yeah, I know she is! Who are you?

Yeah, I've gained a little weight. Did you now?

Yeah, it was a He took a bite. It was a fair bite.

Yeah, it's Schmitty! We thought you were dead.

Yeah, let's get it out of here. Give it a boost.

Yeah, man, I did, actually. I did. Can you believe that? Okay, great.

Yeah, maybe a little bit later, we can all partake. Hey!

Yeah, no, that's very crazy. One, two, three. One, two, three.

Yeah, sure. Let's grab a drink.

Yeah, two checking in for the pool. Check us in.

Yeah, we don't care. All right. Oh, my God.

Yeah, we share a bed. Well, not every night.

Yeah, we'll pound 'em. We'll just have to finish these out here.

Yeah, we're best friends. Best friends.

Yeah, well Mm hmm.

Yeah, well, I'm not proud of it. Gross.

Yeah, with the big muscles. He puts his hand on his... He's big, green and gets angry?

Yeah, yeah, that's why we're here. Primarily, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Yep.

Yeah, yeah! Those are all

Yeah, yeah. And I'm done.

Yeah, you took a dinger down the stairs. Ooh, big time.

Yeah! Hey, you guys.

Yeah! Just for riding on a street?

Yeah! Let's switch. Let's switch.

Yeah! Sit, darling.

Yeah! They've got really good Chinese food.

Yeah. Get on your knees and ask.

Yeah. God, what an irritating thing babies are.

Yeah. He's ruined a perfectly good sewer conversation.

Yeah. I could really go for some Chinese food though, man.

Yeah. I'll talk you through it later.

Yeah. It's disgusting.

Yeah. It's the last big thing I got.

Yeah. Kid, what's going on with the clown makeup, though?

Yeah. Let's go talk to him.

Yeah. Let's go to the ice.

Yeah. Mac.

Yeah. Michael and I got it. Thanks, guys.

Yeah. Oh, God.

Yeah. Oh, yeah!

Yeah. Some good memories... here.

Yeah. Take your robe off.

Yeah. There's so much cool shit down there...

Yeah. Well, that is what happened.

Yeah. Well, you know...

Yeah. Without a doubt.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You remember that?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I could get blitzed.

Yeah. You guys drank more than anybody I've ever seen.

Yeah. All right. Let's just chuck it out. Ready?

Yeah. Don't do Okay. And no one's getting bashed.

Yeah. Hi. Frank.

Yeah. Kids are honest as shit. Yeah.

Yeah. Not really. I just came to catch up, so No.

Yeah. Now the shoes make a lot of sense. Okay. Frank.

Yeah. Right. That sounds perfect. Marriage blows.

Yeah. Strange movie. Strange tale.

Yeah. You know what? I'd love to see Schmitty. I would too.

Yeah. You see him right there? Oh, I see him.

Yeah. You suck on 'em. Oh, come on. At least give me the crackers.

Yep. Jump right back in there, tiger.

Yes, absolutely. This is absolutely ridiculous, holding a funeral for a crow.

Yes, to Broadway. Oh.

Yes, we were right in the middle of something. Yes, thank you.

Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes.

Yes! Yeah?

Yes? Hi.

Yes? Yes? That's a yes! Yeah. He said yes. That's a yes.

Yes. Goddamn it.

Yes. Okay?

Yes. Okay.

Yes. This shouldn't take long. Uh uh.

Yes. Yes. Yeah!

Yi, yi, yi, yi, yi! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Yi, yi, yi, yi, yi! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Yo, Mac! Yeah.

Yo, what's happening? What's happening, guys?

Yo, you guys. Look at you Fighting with a green guy.

Yo. Come on in, buddy. We're ready for ya.

Yo. Come on in, buddy. We're ready for ya.

You are good at cleaning shit out of toilets... Right.

You are really making yourself at home here, huh? Yeah.

You bet your ass it's leather. Huh. I just assumed it was plastic.

You can always hitch a ride with me. Oh. Where you headed?

You can just climb it. I'm just gonna climb right up.

You can watch a movie without me. What?

You can't do it. They're actors.

You can't do the voice without the lips. Everybody calm down.

You don't even know what you're high on? No. Hey!

You don't like your salad all of a sudden, Mac? I hate salad.

You don't mind if I write some of this down, do you? For what?

You don't remember a lot of things, silly. Yeah.

You don't want 'em to be a nerd. You don't want 'em to be a nerd.

You ever play this game? No.

You find great stuff down there. Like what?

You getting a divorce? Yeah.

You getting reception? Yes, I guess I'm getting reception. I just got a text.

You got a minute? Quick question.

You got it. Great. So, you'll keep the dog here, and then, uh

You got married. That's good. Yeah, 10 years now. Yeah, she's amazing.

You gotta learn from some books. You don't want 'em reading too many books.

You gotta set rules. You gotta set ground rules. Set some boundaries.

You gotta stand up for yourself, man. So you haven't slept with her?

You gotta teach him how to beat nerds up. He's gotta be beating nerds up.

You guys are wasted, man. Let's wrestle. Yeah, you're wasted.

You guys take care, okay? All right!

You guys wanna do a bump or what? I'll have a bump.

You guys! Hang on a second, Dee. We're getting into something.

You had sex with the tranny? No. I was their surrogate.

You hate salad? Where is this coming from? I didn't wanna say anything.

You hit 120! 120! I almost stewed my drawers.

You just rest, honey. Uh huh.

You know what I mean? Yeah.

You know what? I don't think I can do this. Okay. I'll take over from here.

You know what? Just drop it. Let's drop it.

You know what? This sounds like jealousy talk. Yeah.

You know? Oh, your mom has

You know? Oh. Well, congratulations.

You know? You're What are you doing? Huh?

You left the hospital? Yeah. I was kind of hungry. Mostly I was just getting bored.

You look amazing. Me? Oh.

You look just like you did in high school. Oh.

You look like a turkey! Yeah.

You ready? One, two, three.

You run a bar? Oh, I'm sure you do. Yeah.

You saw him. Yeah, might've been

You stay right there, Deandra. Just real quick, you guys.

You the man, Professor. You're the man if you stay in school, J.J!

You think it's gonna be that easy, dude? Well, yeah, of course.

You wanna just do our thing and let Let's do our thing.

You want to get your ass kicked? Leave us alone!

You want to get your ass kicked? Okay, leave us alone.

You wearing makeup? Well, I'm always wearing a little bit of foundation.

You. You don't have to Oh. Sir.

You'll get very, very sick, okay? Yeah.

You're both whores! This is great radio!

You're busted, Dee. What?

You're gonna flush our marriage down the toilet? Right down the toilet!

You're good. That's what I do.

You're good. Well, I'm a fixer, Frank.

You're in the hot seat, girl. I'm not in the hot seat! Ben's in the hot seat!

You're making it seem like I'm some sort of monster. Yeah, okay.

You're not gonna like this. What happened?

You're not supposed to talk about the name of it. That's true.

You're out of the gang, Schmitty! You're out of the gang! Get out!

You're out! You're out! Okay. Got it. I heard ya. Nice seeing you guys again.

You're over there. Just 'cause you guys made it to one side before me?

You're right. Yeah. You're right. Yeah.

You're sad sometimes. You're dark souls. Why aren't you happy for us?

You're sticking out like a sore thumb. That's 'cause I'm a Juggalo.

You've glued some jewels and some flowers and things to it.

Zing! A dog banged your neck the other day!

Zing! Zinged her!

'Cause chicks are all into vampires and stuff...

'cause Dee and I would have waltzed right into that swim club.

'cause Groban's feeling frisky... and somebody's gotta tap that ass.

'Cause I got to get to Chase.

'Cause I look good.

'Cause I remember marrying Maureen Ponderosa.

'cause I remember we were all starting to get pretty lit at this point.

'cause I'm a janitor now.

'Cause I'm like I'm I'm bending the bike.

'Cause if it's you, I'm not interested.

'Cause Jamie Nelson drowned in it.

'Cause last night in the car he tried to eat a nickel.

'cause that probably hasn't been done in years

'cause that's the classiest poolside food you can have.

'Cause the guys think Schmitty's all that and, like, I'm no good.

'Cause the professor just took an interest in ya!

'Cause the way you're telling that story...

'cause they're definitely gonna play that shit on ESPN.

'Cause this has all happened very fast and I haven't really had time to do a pass yet.

'Cause we have so much work to do.

'cause we talked about that, but either way, now that you're dickless, I'm into it.

'Cause you're here, and we're sort of having a

'cause your credit was so bad.

"Ah, there's nowhere for me to run.

"Browned out"? What's "browned out"?

"Come to Atlantic City," you said.

"Denim chicken."

"Fill bar with sand. Roast wild pig.

"Have you seen Dr. Frankenstein's creation that they all speak of?"

"Hey, hey, where do all of the groceries come from...

"Jabronis." Cool word.

"Let us tie you up and put a sack on your head so you don't freak out.

"Mac, Charlie, congratulations on your slap shot and the beach house. Okay?

"Men with men committing indecent acts"

"Miss you most. " Most. Can't get more than most, right?

"Nay, I've heard tales told of his hideousness.

"Oh, how did my laundry get so clean?"

"Oh, oh, who washed all the dishes today?"

"Two beers, please. " And when we swim up to the top, Dennis hands them to us.

"When a man strikes his slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies...

"will receive the due penalty for their perversion."

"Yes. " That's the word I want to talk about.

"Yes. " That's the word I want to talk about.

# A hideous beast with deadly clutch #

# All right #

# All the doors I closed one time #

# And invited everyone you knew, ooh hoo #

# And the card attached would say #

# And the card attached would say #

# Another's heart beats in my chest #

# Ave Maria #

# Back in high school #

# But all he kept talkin ' about was glory days #

# But don't look down #

# But still you gotta learn #

# Butt, butt #

# Butt, butt, butt #

# Butt, butt, butt butt butt #

# Crash the gates #

# Da da da da da #

# Da da da da da da da da da #

# Down at the beach house is what we're gonna #

# Drop #

# Everybody's talking all this stuff about me #

# Give it to me G #

# Glory days #

# Glory days #

# Going for the back of beyond #

# Gonna beat me up #

# Gonna make our dreams come true #

# Had a few drinks #

# Hit the wheel and double the stakes #

# I had a friend was a big baseball player #

# I know you have a little life in you yet #

# I know you have a lot #

# I'll be back in the high life #

# I'll be back in the high life again #

# I'll never know a woman's touch #

# I'll stand outside #

# I'm gonna give you the time of your life, yeah #

# I'm gonna make your body hot, girl #

# In the wink of a young girl's eye #

# Just keep your head or you'll be finished #

# Lamb of God who takes away the sins of #

# Limit #

# Limit #

# Make you sweat #

# My face composed of rotten flesh #

# Nothin 'gonna stop you There's nothin' that strong #

# Now his part is over #

# Now starts the craft #

# Of the father #

# Ooh, it's hard on the man #

# Ooh, yeah #

# Ooh, yeah #

# Open up the limit #

# Open up the time capsule #

# Past the point of no return #

# Pray God you can cope #

# Push it to the limit #

# Roar, roar #

# Roar, roar #

# Shut 'em down Open up shop #

# So push it #

# Stop #

# The boys are back in town #

# The boys are back in town #

# The limit, the limit, the limit, the limit #

# There's a haunted dwarf sittin' on my porch #

# This woman's work #

# This woman's world #

# Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell #

# Traveled down the road and back again #

# Walk along the razor's edge #

# Wanna get dirty #

# Wanna get dirty Dirty #

# We went back inside, sat down #

# We're goin' to the beach house #

# Well, all right #

# Will open up again #

# Yeah, they'll pass you by Glory days #

# You crash the gates #

# You would see the biggest gift would be from me #

# You've reached the top #