Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Season 8 Edit

A $300 bottle of wine? Are you serious?

A baby could have kicked that ball,

A ball went through my legs and cost us the game.

A big Jew and you still told him to take off his Jew cap.

A big Jew. Big.

A bill from the therapist?

A black guy.

A BLACK, AN ASIAN AND ARE YOU A JEW PERCHANCE?

A body I would like to get my hands on.

A computer. I don't live here. You're making a mistake.

A date is an experience you have with another person

A good break in the action.

A little bit of investment is gonna go a long way.

A little bit... shit bow.

A little to the left... Or the right.

A lot of it depends on Jerry's schedule, which is crazy.

A lot of kikes liked the show,

A lot of people call me who are suicidal.

A nice ******* gentleman has volunteered.

A one... a one armed man?

A phony, a fraud, a prevaricator.

A section that's not used as much as the ice cream

A Shiva call for a dog?

A SHOFAR. WHY IS THIS ON YOUR DES?

A ski that comes in two pieces.

A supplement? What the fuck is that?

A vet, do they make as much as a doctor?

A woman goes to a gynecologist. He says, "get up on the table",

About race, creed and color.

About their problems or themselves.

Absolutely, sir. The tape, staples...

Actually, I'm realizing now

Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Admit it, the only reason you're going out with her

AFTER HE PURCHASES IT, SO HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH THE FOOD.

Again with the softee theme...

Again.

Ah, she texted me.

Ah, well.

Ah! ( Groaning )

Ah! It's good.

Ah! Yes yes yes,

Ah.

Ah. Wow. That's some car.

Aha!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ahh. Funkhouser: And what happens?

Al abbas best original chicken.

All good. 4:00, the car will be downstairs waiting for you.

All night long I was like in this position.

All of a sudden I heard this softee music.

All over Hollywood and Beverly Hills.

All right then. Shall we?

All right, can I tell you something?

All right, come on, yari.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T SCREAM AT ME. I'M NOT GONNA BE INTIMIDATED

All right, everyone. Bon appã©tit.

All right, fine. I'll play a little scrabble.

All right, go down. We'll make a right.

ALL RIGHT, GOOD LUCK.

All right, I can't understand you.

All right, I got the point. I got the point.

All right, I made a mistake.

All right, I'll be on the lookout for that.

All right, I'm on my way.

All right, Janie.

All right, Larry, what do you got?

All right, Larry. Two away. Two away.

All right, let's go, Larry.

All right, let's just say I had something she really wanted.

All right, listen.

All right, look,

All right, look, here's what we'll tell him:

All right, make a right. Make a right.

All right, now get to your left a little bit.

All right, see you.

All right, so same time... 2:00?

All right, that's enough! Just get the fuck over here!

All right, we gotta get going.

All right, we'll do 30 seconds and one more... the last one.

All right, what the hell is this?

ALL RIGHT!

All right! Okay! I'm going!

All right? We'll be back.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. ( Sighs ) I'll take you home.

All right. I'll give you some.

ALL RIGHT. NOW YOU SEE, THESE SAMOAS,

All right. Okay. All right, you want to be a dick, be a dick.

All right. So, you hungry?

All right. Thank you.

All right. Well, listen,

All she wanted to talk about was how she dances,

All that shit I fuckin' know.

ALL THE BITCHES I HAD IN HERE, MAN.

All this fuckin' time and shit.

All we have to do is finish on 18 and we win.

All you did was change it around.

All: THANK YOU.

Ally: Mr. simmington! Mr. simmington!

Almost 90â°.

Also, future reference, just to note

Although if you told me that it wasn't fine,

Although, does it really? I mean, you know and I know.

Although, I mean, now that you mention it.

Am I to understand that you charged me

An automobile periscope... It's nutty.

And a ground ball went through my legs.

And after I put half of them away.

And allow you to go out there and allow a lesbian

And another thing, I fuck my husband four or five times a week.

And any one of us could sit in any of these seats.

AND ASK ME IF I WANTED TO GO FOR A NOSH.

And asked me to play at his funeral.

And built.

And by the way, don't... Like I told you earlier,

And by the way, if you're dating somebody who takes their clothes off in public,

And came home on the subway and it was very crowded

And chicken. Enjoy.

And come over and say something to me unless Jeff put you up to it.

And decided to move over.

And did you wipe it away?

And everybody will be even.

And expect a motherfucker to be happy with that shit.

And go to the farmer's market and I just need a little bit of...

AND GOT ABOUT 30 FEET AND FELL.

And he eats all my food.

And he enjoyed

And he hasn't died.

And he kept me waiting for 45 minutes.

And he never gave the computer back.

And he said, "you play?" He hired me that day

And he told you to do this? For what purpose?

And he's been trying to get rid of you.

And he's worried about what will happen to britain.

And hopefully there won't even be another bump into.

And hot and disgusting.

And I am going to get that cabinet back.

And I am gonna get that cabinet back for us.

And I beat Rosie.

AND I CAN CALL YOU BALD. IT'S LIKE BLACK PEOPLE CALLING EACH OTHER ****A.

And I can see now

And I can't help feeling, Vance, that I failed him.

And I didn't realize it. I went to rabbi Stein. Do you know her?

And I feel such a sense of guilt.

And I figured I'd track you down.

And I gave it to this guy

AND I GOT THE HOUSE

AND I GOTTA MOVE TO A NEW HOUSE NOW. I LIKE THIS HOUSE, MAN.

And I had to give up a cabinet.

And I heard the softee music again and I couldn't perform.

And I heard the softee theme...

And I just did it.

And I just wanted to know how you felt about it.

And I paid $200 for his ticket...

And I picked up a little something for somebody's birthday.

And I rededicated my life to judaism.

AND I SAID I'D BE VERY INTERESTED.

And I saw him bowing,

And I see no evidence at all that anybody was crying.

And I think she just got confused.

And I think you may also remember Karen.

And I think, "what would steinbrenner say right now?"

And I wanted... you know, I'm stuck in traffic

And I was just wondering, maybe...

And I was told that, you know, coach isn't allowed to use first class.

And I would be holding the job for my daughter.

And I'll tell you what. You do that for me,

And I'm competing for her affection against a lesbian.

And I'm gonna bring him to you.

And I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

And I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

And I'm thinking there should be a periscope.

And I'm... I'm sorry.

And I've been late a few times with him and I need an excuse

And I've decided that I...

And if she gives the okay, would you play?

And if you don't play, we all drop out. It's over for us.

And it was closed.

AND IT WOULD BE 20 MORE YEARS OF BOREDOM."

AND IT'S KIND OF A LITTLE PRECARIOUS RIGHT NOW.

And it's not just a one time thing.

And it's not my problem anymore.

And Jeff was driving!

And just stare at all the breasts?

And Larry David's here.

And let's face it, she's got the lesbian advantage.

And my guess is she's living in some dump

And my hope was that I was doing that for you.

And now he's turning into one of those guys in Beverly Hills.

And now I know that I stink.

And now I shall eat where I shat.

And now they're going home.

And now we can find the rightful owner.

And of course I lost almost every hand.

And perhaps apologize...

AND PUSH IT PUSH IT.

And saundra was so upset when she came home.

And say how excited we are for dinner.

AND SECONDLY, IF YOU SUSPECT THAT HE'S STEALING ANOTHER BUFFET FROM YOU,

And several people who he has refered to me

AND SHARE WITH SOMEONE WHO'S ORDERED OFF THE MENU.

And she either accepts you or not.

And she wanted to go home and spend some time with him

And she was not at her father's bedside when he passed away.

AND SHE'S A WOMAN. SHE LEFT STUFF UPSTAIRS

And should it be a life they give,

And some fabulous desserts, which by the way

And something happened when I saw the doctor.

And speaking of those women, a couple of days ago

And tell me how I should stop saying "I.O.L."?

AND TELL NAN TO GO ON MY TRIP.

And tell you to have a nice lunch. It was so nice to meet you.

And thank you so much. Okay.

AND THAT'S WHAT YOU DO ON YOUR DATES?

And that's... ask around.

And the mole is absolutely fine.

AND THE PILLOWS. I'M GIVING YOU ALL THOSE PILLOWS.

AND THE TOP OF THE PIE THAT LOOKS SO NICE

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE SITTING ACROSS FROM ME AND I'M GOING

AND THEN HE'D CALL ME MAYBE ONCE A MONTH

And then Jeff and susie with the kid.

And then now you're coming up with some fictitious person

And then that night I was in bed with a woman

And then the trip got delayed again.

And then up from this side. You know what I mean?

And then we gotta go to the inventor.

And then we have a lot of one things to choose...

And there was a Japanese fellow

And there's somebody that looks like you sitting in that chair,

And they brought in catering and we had Sushi.

And they charged me $200.

And they have this event... It's like a field day,

And to this day

And use my machine anytime you want.

And usually I'm 10 out of 10.

And very often he would hire them for an hour,

And we don't want you here at the agency anymore. ( Both laugh )

And we had a box to ourselves.

And we need one more guy to fill out the minyan.

And we never have lunch in that city,

And we'd love to have you there.

And we're making evil plans.

AND WE'RE SITTING IN THE OWNER'S BOX.

And what about you?

And what exactly are they saying?

And when I feel I stink I'm good.

And when you first start dating you always do things that are distasteful.

And whenever I see a man who's happy, he's single.

And you can bring up your issues

And you can talk to Karen and you can talk to saundra

AND YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME.

And you just feel so complete,

And you know what would be wonderful, Larry?

And you know what? I'm not calling you dog anymore.

And you know what? You don't have to worry about choking

And you look fantastic, by the way.

And you saw her when? Monday?

And you say you love that roach, I'm gonna do what I can

AND YOU USED HIRIAM KATZ FOR YOUR DIVORCE?

And you, I wouldn't let you represent me now.

And you'd be carrying it like a pool cue.

And you'll rot in hell. Okay?

And you'll see it on the screen in the front.

And you're a spiritual person. You understand this.

And your enthusiasm for inventions,

And your goddamn five lb bread and stick it up your fucking ass!

And your signature... come on.

And, um... well, that's not the funny part.

And... I said something I shouldn't have said.

ANDREW BERG WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH JULIE

Angels too? How about that?

Antoinette: Bye, nice to see you. Larry David's office.

Any man can do that shit. Your mom's maiden name... ratner. You know what I mean?

Any questions I had about this guy

Anything else?

Anyway, do you want to go to lunch with us?

Anyway, I didn't want to interrupt. I just wanted to say hi

Anyway, I don't know. Do you like... I got some mixed nuts.

Anyway, so we were at this restaurant,

Anyway, so what do you think about it?

Anyway, so what I did was, I have a crude prototype, right,

Anyway, we're going to be seeing each other around campus,

Apologize? ...For any discomfort you caused them.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED. THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.

Apparently you've been living here with Mr. David

Are either of you gentlemen *******?

Are we all right?

Are you absolutely sure that you want to deal with this here? I mean, while we're here?

Are you all right? What's going on?

Are you gonna beef up the security in the bag?

Are you juicing?

Are you kidding me with the pineapple?

Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?

Are you kidding? "Oklahoma"?

Are you leaving right now? 'Cause I don't think we should run into each other again.

Are you listening?

Are you really pushing my drink back?

Are you saying I'm a narcissist?

Are you serious? Come on, that's not fair.

Are you serious? That's my idea. I had that idea.

Are you upstreaming me? You can't upstream me.

Are you worried she's gonna eat your popcorn?

Arghh!

AS A RESULT OF SOME DIFFICULTIES WITH HER FATHER,

As a result of the dog pooping.

As an excuse for the racism.

As tempting as it is, kid,

ASK HIM WHY THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY COOKIES!

Asshole!

ASSHOLE! YOU COST ME THE DODGERS.

AT ST. CHRISTOPHER'S. THEY ACTUALLY SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER

At the end of emails and text messages,

At the five man team club champions.

AT THE GRIP LOCATION WITH YOUR THUMB AND MIDDLE FINGER."

At the last minute and hasn't rescheduled yet.

At the will call window I picked up the ticket

At this new location they're trying to open.

At this table, but look at this woman.

Attendant: Welcome aboard.

ATTORNEY AT LAW. HERE'S MY CARD.

ATTORNEY AT LAW. MAYBE I CAN STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT.

Aw aw.

Awesome. thank you for coming over.

B . It's closer to the d, yes.

Back in here after eating it?

BAD HABIT? PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN ON THE WOOD?

Balls are disgusting. They're hideous.

Based on hanging on, he'd die.

Bats and balls run the fucking world.

Be careful about the smiley faces.

Beautiful place. Why don't I just let you have the place?

Beautiful! Look at that... beautiful.

Because a bow is a bow.

Because I do miss him very very much.

Because I made an error? What are you, 12 years old?

Because I shouldn't have been invited in the first place.

Because I'm going to go to the biltmore downtown.

Because I'm great at the heimlich.

Because it looks like you could...

Because life is like this...

Because my dad died about two years ago.

Because no **** ever come here. They'd be so safe.

Because nobody likes a tattletale.

Because now you could be telling people my name.

Because of you I'm going to lose this beautiful woman

Because that's... I mean...

Because the parallel is he's fighting his own war, a class war.

Because the thing about it is that

BECAUSE THEN HE'S EATING IT. IT'S ALL HE CAN EAT ALSO.

Because they're a stupid animal.

Because we didn't invite you to joanie's bat mitzvah.

Because we never get a chance to eat in L.A.

Because we're not friends.

Because what, you think I'm gonna eat your popcorn?

BECAUSE YOU GOT THAT BULLSHIT ASS LAWYER WHO GOT US KICKED OUT OF HERE.

Because you know what? The only reason we're here together now

Because you really yelled at my dog.

Because you're sitting down there next to Hank.

Because you're the only one who can stand up to her.

Because your voice... when we came to your office your voice went up.

Believe me. You know what?

Berg: HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE!

Between me and Heidi.

Big shit! You put the labels on, so what?

Blacks don't fuckin' blush.

Body survey?

Borrow, return.

Bow rules? I understand the bow rules.

Boy oh boy, my shoulder feels fantastic.

Boy, for a guy that can't talk, he has a pretty big mouth, doesn't he?

Boy, you really are your mother's daughter, aren't you?

Bring it in. Come on.

Buckner, fuck you. Go Buckner yourself.

But as you make the rounds, as you make the rounds,

But he bowed to 90â°.

BUT HE GIVE ME SPECIAL INSTRUCTION NOT TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU.

But I am dying to know why in the hell aren't Jeff and susie coming?

But I don't... I don't need it.

But I got a bill in the mail today.

But I have to tell you I'm...

But I know that you drove the car

But I maintained my composure.

But I never act on them. What is that?

But I really do give a shit what you talked to my husband about.

But I told you I'm doing the shark show. They're gonna be back.

But I want to stop at the bakery and get some bread.

But I would think this probably would be a step up.

But I... I kinda banged into your car.

But I'm fuckin' hungry right now.

But I'm not like a first class person.

But I'm really gonna try and put moves on you

But I'm still going to use the bathroom.

BUT IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW ME AND WE HAD JUST MET,

But it shows that in this area

BUT KYRA SAID YOU WERE INTERESTED IN BUYING THEM.

But let me just make sure I understand.

But let me just say this, okay?

But let me propose an alternative here.

But let's just say this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

But listen, the thing... Did you throw your arm out?

But my relationship with this restaurant

But my wife ilene, she says "I.O.L."

But neither of us have eaten since breakfast.

But next time, if I come back again

But no sandwich mentioned.

But nobody else looked trustworthy.

But now New York is haunted.

But now... that's why you asked me and not these other people,

But one person thinking it's affected,

But overhear some of the conversation you were having

But she has magnificent breasts.

But somebody came to me with an idea.

BUT THAT'S JUST THAT'S A PART OF IT,

But that's not really an invention.

But that's really not quite what I had in mind.

BUT THE REAL IT WOULDN'T BE A PIE WITHOUT THE FILLING.

But then I got "pandemonium." We're shooting it right across the street.

But we can definitely work something out.

But we're talking about the Tonys here, okay?

But what I'm looking to raise money for is this.

But when I borrow something, I return.

But when that happens...

But why would he offer it to me? I don't feel right about that.

But you could still come though.

But you didn't say we shouldn't go.

But you got a girl out of it.

But you know what?

But you know, the fact that you're wearing glasses,

But you sit next to your husband. I'm a little confused.

But you... but you...

But you'll really be in deep shit if you don't.

But you're shitting where you eat.

But, man, oh man, they know what they're doing chickenwise.

But, you know, I kind of...

But, you know, you look at these kids

BY A BUNCH OF GIRL SCOUTS. I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

By spaniards?

By the way, are you dating a burlesque dancer?

By the way, I did notice in the show

By the way, I gotta tell you, you're doing a fantastic job.

By the way, I have a very good idea for you.

By the way, I saw the show? It stinks.

By the way, things many times are not great with susie and I.

By the way, very nice house, if you don't mind my saying.

By the way, you're the one who took my stuff

By the way, your lunch is on me.

By you just focusing on a woman's breasts and nipples

Bye, Larry.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. See you after the game. See you Thursday.

Bye. Love you too.

C o o n.

Can I ask him why he wouldn't call me first?

Can I turn around or is that...

Can they dare open up a palestinian chicken restaurant

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT STUPID REMARK YOU SAID TO ME

Can you believe this? It's over by the regency on park.

Can you get mookie Wilson to sign this for Jeff's birthday?

Can you go get it, Jeff? Okay?

Can you move forward, please?

Can you tell me how it happened?

Can you think of anything? I need some help.

Can't call him. We can't call him.

Can't you see I'm in pain here?

Center stage.

Championship game. Bring it in, everybody.

Check to cheek contact from men... that's unacceptable.

CHERYL AND HER LAWYER ARE GOING TO BE HERE IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.

CHERYL, WAIT ONE SECOND! NO NO, I THINK SHE LEFT THE RING STAIN. HOLD ON.

Cheryl: LARRY.

CHERYL!

CHERYL.

Chocolate pretzels? Get the hell out of here!

Cleanly before she even saw you.

Clutching my little c.P.A. Degree in my hot hand.

Cocksucking fucking fatso!

Come along. You can't talk to her anyway during a play, can you?

Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on! You can do it.

Come on, face the ground.

Come on, it was in your hands. How could you miss that ball? Are you serious?

Come on, it's over. She's taking her to the Tonys.

Come on, little Larry.

Come on, man. Let me see your place, man.

Come on, what'd you do? Did you sneak in some of that glycerin?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. ( Snapping )

Come to disgusting strip clubs?

Come with us. You're a Jew.

Come! What's the matter? There's no decision.

COMING IN HERE TO TELL ME THIS.

COMING IN HERE TO TELL ME THIS.

COMING! YES, MAY I HELP YOU?

Congratulations on a great attempt at a chat and cut.

CONGRATULATIONS. CONGRATULATIONS.

Congratulations. That was gorgeous.

COOK INTERESTED COOK MORE INTERESTED THAN ME,

Coon?

Coon.

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG,

Could be the next Mrs. David.

Could I interrupt you? I've got an emergency.

Could you just keep an eye on my computer for me?

Couldn't be happier.

Couldn't move my neck from Tuesday morning.

Dad, oh my god. Dad!

Dad!

Damn it, where is he?

Did anybody see... did anybody see a one armed man?

Did I mention that I had a soup and sandwich for dinner?

Did I tell Larry that? Of course I wouldn't tell Larry that.

Did my pissant husband tell you to do this?

Did you enjoy the wine the other day?

Did you get the whole head?

Did you have anything you wanted to say to saundra?

Did you hear the fucking idiots talking all the way through as well?

Did you like the air fucking number I did?

Did you look like your great aunt?

Did you notice, by any chance,

Did you put one of these disgusting things

DID YOU SPEAK TO ANDY TODAY? OUR FEARLESS ATTORNEY?

Did you tell him to come over to me

DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY TOOK **** AT ST. CHRISTOPHER'S.

DIDN'T YOU RECOMMEND HIRIAM KATZ TO O'DONNELL?

Dinner, bring the wives?

DISCUSS WHY THE HELL WE GOT MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Do they kind of huddle together and whisper?

Do they seem morose?

Do what?

Do you believe this crap? Look at this.

Do you care... honestly?

Do you even... Do you know her at all?

Do you have the most thoughtful wife in the world?

Do you hear... Not a bow like that.

Do you know a kid once stabbed me in class?

Do you know anything about Keegan's club?

Do you know that... The chicken place

Do you know what the Japanese guy in the park actually said about your bow?

Do you know what, Larry?

Do you mind if I take a cabinet?

Do you mind my asking where you're going?

DO YOU RESPECT WOOD?

Do you see anything on my forehead? Is there a little Mark there?

DO YOU THINK THERE'S ANY CHANCE WE COULD HAVE SEX?

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Does she run the show? Tell me the truth.

Doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist...

Don't disgrace me. Get out of my... yari's! Get out!

Don't drive a red Volvo.

Don't hurt me. I'll go back to my seat.

Don't impose your desires on my whole cuisine.

DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER, AS THEY SAY.

Don't leave your popcorn in the bathroom.

Don't let the door go through your legs on the way out, Buckner.

Don't pay attention to that jerk.

Don't say anything about this, all right?

DON'T SIGN ANYTHING. I'M ON MY WAY UP TO YOUR OFFICE.

Don't wear that hat.

DON'T WORRY. I THINK I'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT WILL STOP THE BLEEDING.

Don't you reach for that. Don't you ever touch that.

Don't you tell me to get out of your...

Don't you think the sorry window has closed on that?

Don't... don't mention this to anybody.

Donna is working tomorrow night. She can't come.

Donna: Just give him your shoes.

Donna: Larry, is that true?

Double letters go for the "w."

Down at that end of the table. Annoying everybody.

Dr. thurgood, allow me to introduce myself.

Dr. thurgood, we spoke for all of three minutes.

Drew it with sunblock and then I fell asleep in the sun.

Drop it! Drop it!

Easy job. Be ready tomorrow like I said, okay?

Easy out.

Eat my popcorn? That's...

Eddie: All right. Hey, funkhouser's in there too.

Eh, I think I can.

Eh, not necessary.

Eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, times three... 42.

Encroachment.

ENJOY YOUR BRUNCH.

Enjoy.

Enjoy.

Enormous, sweaty, just filled with spunk...

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY DAUGHTER.

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY DAUGHTER.

Even the British version.

EVEN THE OWNER OF THE DODGERS, O'DONNELL, HE GETS A DIVORCE.

Every now and then a pig, once a horse, but it's pretty rare.

Every one of you all, give yourselves a clap on the hand.

Every time after my mom takes a sip of something,

Every time after my mom takes a sip of something,

Every time you take a sip...

Everybody brings wine. I bring bread.

Everybody knows who directed "star wars."

Everybody wants to see those. Who wants to see balls?

Everybody's doing it! I was just leveling the playing field!

Everybody's gotta move down now because of him.

Everyone wants to see what's going on ahead of them.

Everyone wants to see where the traffic is.

Everything gonna be secured for you, okay?

EVERYTHING OKAY?

EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE, LARRY.

Exactly. You say what everybody's thinking.

Excellent. ( Clicks tongue ) thanks.

Excellent. You know, don't... don't talk about that.

EXCEPT PROBABLY APOLOGIZE TO THESE PEOPLE AND MAYBE BUY THEM A ROUND OF DRINKS.

Excuse me one second.

Excuse me one second. I think that's bill Buckner.

Excuse me, are you happy with that park?

Excuse me, did you see a one armed man?

EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A SCISSOR?

Excuse me, I've just gotta run out for one second.

Excuse me, is this your little idea?

Excuse me, Larry. Here's your tea.

EXCUSE ME, MAYBE I CAN HELP. HELLO, I'M HIRIAM KATZ,

Excuse me, susie. Where is the toilet?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Do you speak english?

Excuse me. What?

Fantastic. And let me ask you this question:

Fantastic. Oh yes.

Fantastic. Okay, let's go.

Fantastic. Tonight I'm gonna bring it.

Father: You be quiet and you listen to me.

FIRST OF ALL, I COMMEND YOU ON THE DEMOGRAPHICS.

First of all, I would fucking throw the fuck up.

FIRST OF ALL, IN YOUR IMPLIED CONTRACT WITH THIS MAN

First off, I want to apologize

First off, I'm appalled by what you just said to me.

For Christ's sake, I'll get it myself. Where's the drink cart?

For Christ's sake.

For exactly what you do.

For him to have a last meal?

For him to save it? You see what I'm getting at?

For **** who are cheating on their spouses

For like... what what... What did you say it was?

For me just as it is for them.

For my behavior at the party.

For my daughter to get back to work.

For putting my feet up and putting you in this compromising position?

For talking to me on line at the baseball card show?

For the best sex I've ever had anywhere.

Forget it.

Forget it. You know why? Because the important thing is

Four and one... Five and two is seven.

Four or five times a fucking week.

Frankly, I don't know what I'm doing down there.

From what the real agenda is.

Frozen margaritas and put flowers there.

Fruit chews? You know how bad those are for your teeth?

Fuck me like Israel fucks my people!

Fuck me, you fucking Jew!

Fuck me, you Jew bastard!

Fuck their sisters in the cunt? Who talks that way?

FUCKING RIGHT I DID! HOW YOU GONNA FUCK BITCHES

Fucking Tony. Who the fuck is Tony?

FUCKING TWO BITCHES IN YOUR BED.

FUCKING TWO BITCHES IN YOUR BED.

Fucking walking in with a goddamn jump rope hanging from your fucking pants.

Funkhouser: How in the world,

Funkhouser: Why shouldn't she be here?

Funkman. Look who's here.

Gaby: Mm, that's so good.

GARDENER INTERESTED, CHAUFFER INTERESTED,

Get my clothes on and drive to a fucking restaurant,

Get off the phone. Who are you talking to?

GET OUT THERE AND GET SOME NEW ASS, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

Get out, both of you. You ruined the gift.

Get that off.

Get the order right, secure the food.

Get your own cab!

GETTING A CHANCE TO GET DIVORCED EXCEPT ME.

Give it to me! Don't ever grab my yarmulke, ever.

Give it to me. Take it off.

Give me a fucking ride. What's the matter?

GIVE ME FIVE BOXES OF EACH OF THEM.

Give me that bill, man. Fucking around.

Give me that purse. Give it to me.

Give me the cake, Larry!

Give that to Jeff now. Replace the ball you lost.

Given the fact that I bought you a bottle of wine for $300.

Glasses gets the job. No glasses, no job.

Gloves don't catch gloves. We have the advantage.

Go around to Washington square park, all right?

Go for a really long drive.

Go out of their way to do stuff for them.

GO TO ST. CHRISTOPHER'S? ISN'T THAT A CATHOLIC SCHOOL?

Go with me on that one. You're an idea man.

Go! Faster!

God damn it. Sit next to your husband.

God, that store was so crowded.

GONNA HAVE SOME SORT OF LIGHT SALAD.

Good luck at your wiffle ball game or whatever.

Good night.

Good play, Larry.

Good, thanks.

Good. Thank you.

Good. What's happening?

GOODBYE. GOODBYE.

Got any... got any of that stuff?

Got it. But it doesn't make sense, Larry.

Gotta find out what the fuck the story is.

Grand funk railroad. I don't want to reveal his name because...

Great great great, I'll see you in a couple of minutes.

Grieving process

Ground ball goes to first, second or third or home.

Guess where I was.

GUESS WHERE THE FUNKMAN IS GOING FOR THREE WEEKS.

GUESS WHO'S GETTING A DIVORCE.

GUY PULLS UP NEXT TO ME ON A MOTORCYCLE,

H a d...

Ha ha!

Ha ha! I'm in the house!

Ha ha! Leon in the motherfucking house!

Ha ha.

Had? That's all you can think of... had?

Happy. What in the fuck is she talking about?

Have a nice day.

Have canceled at the last minute and have not rescheduled.

Have fun talking. Ha ha.

Have the doctors...

Have you any idea why such a thing would take place?

Have you done a background check? I mean, inventors...

Have you ever had ******* food before?

Have you ever heard of anything like that?

Have you noticed that they're making laces much longer than they used to?

HAVING SAID THAT,

He a little dismissive of you.

He bought a bottle of wine for $300.

He can have anybody. He chose her.

He can't stand up to her. He's scared of her.

He didn't mess around with all the extraneous notes.

He didn't say it. It was me. I told Larry to tell you.

He doesn't like the way she keeps saying "I.O.L."

He fixed my elbow. He fixed my shoulder. The guy's great.