Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 2 Edit

A bunch of bald ones up here.

A couple who's in the game, they're going to the Galapagos Islands.

A disgrace to your people. That's what you are!

A doctor or a dentist or an acupuncturist?

A house sound?

A long time ago.

A professional man?

A radio? Is there a ballgame I can listen to or anything?

A shanda!

A water bottle!

About 4 meetings now. Such a wonderful actor.

About a percentage of cashmere in his sweater?

About all the little bimbos, these actresses.

About having been on a successful show...

About right there.

About the incident, and I don't know how that could've happened.

About this concept recently, and I think it's pretty exciting.

Absolutely.

Actually, a new show for Julia Louis Dreyfus.

Actually, I do. I haven't really gotten to say that a lot.

Actually, the door is closed.

Actually, this is all a big misunderstanding.

Actually...

Adora, if anybody wants me, I'm going to Starbucks!

After I came out of the water, I didn't feel like a Christian...

After that article, how could I not?

Afterwards, we're going to have something over at the house, Anne's preparing...

Alexander, you're kidding me?

All he had to do was take a look at it. Would it have killed him?

All he's gotta do is take one quick look, take five seconds.

All I got to do... It's the same thing.

All I want is work in a showroom for a while.

All I want is work in a showroom for a while.

All I was did was attempted to bring him a fork and a napkin...

All in the bleachers and stuff, "Where's the ass?"

All of the women at HBO, they don't want to work with you.

All our information is on there, our address, our phone number.

All passengers in rows 16 and higher may board now.

All right, bye. I'll talk to you later.

All right, did you get a license plate or anything?

All right, done.

All right, enjoy your lunch

All right, good. We'll see you there.

All right, here's Brittany, Brittany, come on out.

All right, I guess in hindsight...

All right, I mean, if you reconsider, you can come back.

All right, I'm such a ditz, okay.

All right, Jeffrey is at a hotel, Larry is bringing the clothes.

All right, just tell them what's going on.

All right, let's do it. Come on, let's go, you wanna do it?

All right, let's get this over with, come on.

All right, let's see, I'll grab this.

All right, let's see, I'll grab this.

All right, listen, get as much money as you can from him.

All right, so talk to me.

All right, thank you very much.

All right, thank you.

All right, thanks a lot.

All right, you start, and then I'll, you know...

All right, you stole my outgoing message on my answering machine.

All right, you'll be here, right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Why don't you come in?

All the matches are set up beforehand. The winners are all pre determined.

All the Seinfeld shows, every one.

All these people who are yelling out, "Evelyn" all the time...

All those disgusting bodies walking around, I have to look at them.

Allow yourself to be auctioned off and have lunch with somebody.

Am I too close to the curb?

An ex alcoholic's, or a person who was lucid 24 hours a day...

Ancient Japanese custom.

And $5,000 to that asshole, Barry Weiner?

And a blue sweatshirt and a black jacket, no.

And a tattoo of a star.

And again, tell Cliff how much we enjoyed it.

And ask them how many they put in the container.

And bilk them out of candy.

And black is almost like a pair of shoes.

And come back with a big check.

And Dick Groat was a ball player. I thought it was a possibility.

And did some directing and trying to produce some stuff.

And did you happen to tell her that maybe it wouldn't grow back?

And do you think this might relate to anything that may have happened to you?

And drop your bony butt to the curb appeal.

And everybody wants her to do Evelyn.

And everyone's congratulating him and he's having this great night...

And everything that's in it, Mr. Spleen

And everything was perfect. You should feel so proud.

And finally she said that somebody cancelled their appointment.

And finish unpacking.

And for donating the lunch. We really appreciate it.

And for what, to save the Union?

And George is an idiot, just an imbecile and, you know...

And get the right order.

And given all his money to NDRC.

And gray is kind of right in the middle. They look good.

And grease in just a minute

And Harriet Tubman?

And have a drink there, and then get back in the car...

And have dogs come up maybe and lick it off him.

And have you ever talked to her about this, maybe?

And he asks Larry what he's doing tomorrow..

And he ate shrimp, and then brought it back.

And he becomes embittered and grows to hate the character.

And he called the police.

And he came up with it.

And he didn't act manly, he should've gone in

And he had a triple bypass, a quadruple bypass.

And he had dinner, but he did not have a fork to eat it...

And he has to be stopped.

And he invited us to his wife's surprise birthday party...

And he looked like a Norseman of some kind.

And he said he would agree to make his donation...

And he saw me press every number.

And he shouldn't be punished as a result of what I did on...

And he took out eight shrimp from it...

And he wrote it as a birthday present for his wife Cosima.

And he's converting.

And he's examining everything in his life

And he's left me the money in his will.

And he's not supposed to live that long, and then he'll give me the money back.

And his work, right?

And I act like, "I'm getting hurt."

And I asked them about the cash. They were totally open to a cash offer.

And I believe that she can shed some light on this controversy.

And I came here, and I pushed it and tested it.

And I can't find the house sound that you were talking about.

And I can't wait for my lawyer.

And I couldn't say no to that either.

And I didn't do a little stop and chat.

And I didn't stop and have a little chat with him.

And I don't deserve this. "Bald asshole"?

And I don't know how this happened, but it seems Dr. Wiggins misread the MRl.

And I don't know, I kind of botched it somehow...

And I don't know...

And I don't want Susie yammering about what they are.

And I forgot that you tripped me.

And I go, "Okay."

And I got a hole in one.

And I got to drive him to the gas station...

And I got very influenced by the artist, you know.

And I have been assured that after they come up...

And I immediately just thought it was superb.

And I just don't understand.

And I knew something was gonna happen.

And I know she's been looking for a show.

And I know where they are.

And I leave you all my money.

And I love your idea...

And I say, why keep supporting them? It's ridiculous.

And I suggested, "If Larry would agree to host...

And I think also, do quite a bit...

And I think there's a big wrestling thing in town...

And I think you're going to enjoy her very much.

And I thought, get him some cologne.

And I told him about it.

And I tried too hard to be entertaining and affable.

And I want to make just a couple of substitutions if that's okay?

And I want to see which ones get rehabilitated.

And I wanted to see if you were paying attention.

And I was wearing the helmet, the goggles...

And I would absolutely be indebted to you forever...

And I'll be happy to give it to him if he does.

And I'll get agitation, if you can.

And I'll have a vanilla...

And I'll learn everything, don't worry about it.

And I'll tell you something.

And I'm just... My whole life is in perspective.

And I'm sure there's some kind of thing you can develop with it at some point.

And I've got to drink 8 of these a day.

And I've got to drink 8 of these a day.

And I've kind of had it.

And if the chef can't do this, if he makes a face at all...

And if you ask me, you can do the exact same project with her.

And if you can't, then I don't pay for any of the treatments

And if you think about it, it's a good color 'cause white is really too bright...

And if your wife ever finds out, you're a noble man, you made it stop.

And instead of giving me the money after he died...

And is it just a bunch of people?

And it bugs me!

And it happens to you, you're able to deal with this.

And it holds on to traumatic events from our childhood.

And it was just a tremendous amount of time.

And it was only out of some personal animus...

And it would be great if you would agree to...

And it's been in my family for several hundred years.

And it's right in front of you, and...

And just to let you know that your son did not put me up...

And Larry says that he's just sitting around.

And mangled the whole bellybutton...

And maybe that's what she was trying to do

And not have food passing by us.

And now the kid won't even talk to me, it's...

And now they can think I'm a fucking, you know, sex maniac or drinking again.

And now this actor, after the series goes off the air...

And now this actress is having problems getting another series...

And she came out on the landing and he was conducting this orchestra.

And she can't get work because of Evelyn.

And she even said the name and she's pregnant...

And she grows to hate the character, and she becomes embittered and hostile.

And she has brown eyes. It's brown eyes.

And she is living proof of the great work being done...

And she probably took me seriously.

And she said that one of my friends was gonna get pregnant, Carrie...

And she'll beat me every time.

And she's a pianist.

And she's gonna have a baby, and they're so happy.

And so, we're doing a big celebrity auction.

And stealing a tape out of her answering machine?

And takes food that doesn't belong to him.

And that applies to dentists, too?

And that enabled me to go out and start writing.

And that is go over by my house and get my clothes.

And that is, you know, very tempting...

And that's the name of the show: Aren't you Evelyn?

And the actor is having a tough time getting work...

And the brochure says there's a model called the GTS.

And the industry people as well.

And the news is that...

And the Parishes are back next week, right?

And the phone will not stop ringing.

And the word got out.

And then drive to the restaurant.

And then have a nice bagel.

And then if we're feeling frisky...

And then on Monday when I come home from work...

And then one day, he found out about it...

And then returns it? What, thinking we're not gonna notice this?

And then when they're done with the boot camp...

And then you introduce the participants in the show

And there was a time he was at the Drake Hotel...

And they call you, and they go, "Larry David has the same thing."

And they have these photos now.

And they would've been 95, but they're dead.

And they'll just be thrilled to be with you.

And this is Jeff Greene. Jeff used to be my manager.

And this little girl doesn't know that her dolly's hair won't grow back.

And to the fellowship that's gonna be, all right?

And took a tape out of an answering machine.

And use the crank, it makes it easier.

And Wasserman says this is our last chance. This is it.

And we don't consider you part of the bald community. With all due respect.

And we got our orders mixed up.

And we just appreciate everything you've done.

And we saw Larry hitting you.

And we would love to be in business with you.

And we'll talk about how we can arrange maybe my contributing something?

And Weiner's father has a heart condition...

And what if he does?

And when I got my order back from him, about seven or eight shrimp were missing.

And when the phone wasn't ringing, faxes were coming in.

And when the show ends...

And who knows what the hair is made out of?

And why can't you?

And won't give you the money until he dies? Why do people do that?

And you brought Larry to help you with the shelf?

And you can be active and talented and all of that.

And you can come along, all right?

And you couldn't say no.

And you don't feel like you have to make it up to them...

And you know what I'm gonna do?

And you should've taken that as your cue to wait...

And you stored it in your memory.

And you think this is a fitting punishment? Isn't it a joy?

And you're never going to work again?

And your "shouldn't there be" and "should there be"? Who cares?

And your liquor.

And your parents, you lost your parents.

And, Lar, hello?

And, masturbation contests, four people agreeing...

And, we just can't get it together.

And, you know, after 45 minutes, I'm on my back...

And, you know, I try to present differently.

And, you know... Lar, come on.

Another round of applause for Beth Sweeney.

Anthony Peeler, two shots.

Any messages?

Anybody have a cough drop?

Anybody need a change of dry clothes?

Anybody want to help a semi retarded individual change a tire?

Anybody want to make $10 and respond verbally?

Anything else you have?

Anything you want. On me, I got it, everybody, come on.

Anyway, everybody from Groat's Syndrome Association just...

Anyway, so again, I'm sorry. You'll be at part 2?

Anyway, thanks, Larry, I really appreciate it. That's great.

Apparently not.

Are there sick, twisted things going on?

Are they playing for thousands of dollars? Come on.

Are those from your mistress and you haven't told me?

Are you all right?

Are you done?

Are you enjoying the shrimp from the Chinese restaurant?

Are you going to be using your light much longer?

Are you gonna finish that shrimp? Your last shrimp?

Are you gonna get an appetizer or are you going straight to the main dish?

Are you guys out of peanut butter here? Because I can't find it.

Are you happy? It was really great.

Are you *******?

Are you *******?

Are you kidding? You can have a drink at the restaurant.

Are you okay?

Are you out of your mind?

Are you playing golf?

Are you thinking about sex?

Aren't You Evelyn?

Aren't you gonna ask me how my appointment went?

As his last memories of him, you know?

As if I wasn't gonna know that he took the shrimp?

As one Jew to another, it's a gutsy thing to come in and step in.

Asshole!

Asshole! Fuck you!

Asshole.

Asshole.

At all times.

At HBO?

At least it'll be shorter.

At night, he makes me...

At the next meeting, you don't even have to say a word.

At the same table. Pretty big table.

At the Staples Center, it could be him.

At your little ABC parties and screenings.

Barry Weiner's here.

Based on what you're going through now.

Battlestar Galactica?

Be charming. Okay, goodbye.

Beautiful, excellent.

Beautiful.

Beautiful. Beautiful house.

Because Cliff was right next to me...

Because everybody identifies her with this character...

Because everybody sees her as Evelyn.

Because he was on this mega hit series, like a Seinfeld kind of series...

Because he's so identified with this character...

Because her doll, Judy, has been decapitated...

Because I actually need a dentist, mine just moved.

Because I didn't give them candy, that's why.

Because I don't think 17 year old girls with no costume on...

Because I know you were at the beach, Larry.

Because I'm getting some clothes together for that homeless guy...

Because if I don't replace the doll, it's over.

Because if I just told you the truth about that...

Because if I just told you the truth about that...

Because if you do, I will break it off, and shove it up your sphincter.

Because it might all be moot.

Because it's a wonderful preface to a great Japanese meal.

Because mine is really big, and "I like them big."

Because of Shaquille O'Neal.

Because of your environmental problems with General Electric.

Because she likes the car, she wants to be happy in it.

Because some bald headed turd is shooting at them.

Because there's gotta be some kind of cut offs...

Because without him it never would have happened.

Because you feel because of your celebrity...

Before I came here? She didn't like my outfit.

Besides that one.

Besides that, I know how to manipulate people, I'm very good at it.

Besides, I have a little problem with that...

Better is better, you said you were better.

Better is not all better, it's better.

Better than before, not 100%% better...

Better? After I treated you, you were better, right?

Big deal, I call men pricks all the time, men want to work with me.

Big news

Big stuff, big charging, crazy pistons, nutty pistons.

Big, huge guy, long, blond hair.

Blue cheese on the side.

Bob Cobb did!

Both of you, 'cause I've had it, you four eyed fuck and you fat piece of shit!

Boy, he's got seven total bases there, yeah.

Boy, I'm almost full already. And you're a shrimp ahead of me.

Boy, she's got pretty long hair.

Boy, she's got really thick hair.

Boy, this is rough.

Boy. "There, but for the grace of God, go you."

Breakfast every morning, sunrise.

Bring a fork to a working man...

Bullshit, you didn't think he was drowning, you didn't want him to convert.

Bullshit.

But acupuncture has been around for a long time...

But every sitcom needs that.

But everybody identifies me with Elaine.

But everything's fine now, and we're very delighted...

But he didn't mention anything, and neither did I...

But he was the fall guy, the jackass role.

But he won't let me have any of it, you know?

But here's the thing that I want to say.

But I can send you through San Francisco. 10:30, it would get you into San Francisco.

But I didn't even... I thought he was...

But I don't have to give them candy, they don't deserve candy...

But I don't know how to work a video camera.

But I felt something. When I was held under the water, I felt a revelation...

But I hate when people fucking steal my outgoing messages.

But I have some news for you. First, a little slice.

But I love to sell cars, I really do.

But I need a letter of recommendation...

But I need you to be honest with me.

But I said hello, but it could be a little touchy.

But I wonder if it's better suited for somebody...

But I wonder why it doesn't work as a pie.

But I would like to sit and have a drink and socialize...

But I'll be a little tired, too, probably.

But I'm going tomorrow night.

But I'm here because you told him I'm high maintenance?

But I'm not gonna...

But if you would like to talk with me about this...

But it says "bald asshole."

But it's a wonderful mini series.

But it's not as big as Brooklyn or whatever.

But it's not as big as Brooklyn or whatever.

But it's the drink, isn't it? They have it at the restaurant.

But it's trick or treat. We cut the kids a little slack on Halloween.

But no, that's not true!

But other than that...

But that doesn't say we're celebrating.

But that doesn't supersede the golden rule. That's the big one.

But that's a little out of balance now. 'Cause I did my drive.

But that's all you need to worry yourself with, okay?

But that's why you go, right? You're gonna see it and...

But the main thing I would like to add is that on HBO...

But they see the idiot...

But they're not, because nobody knows them.

But things are going good, except for this thing with my dad, a situation.

But we consider ourselves a group of people.

But we're already here. We could have dessert in two minutes...

But we're not just gonna talk about money.

But what about the bracelet? Shelley!

But what I can do for you is I can get you on the next flight...

But when we were coming out of the poker game the other night...

But why? When he left last night after the story...

But you did touch the shrimp.

But you gotta go back in.

But you know about Jeremy. That's the point, right?

But you know, it's really time...

But, if you're gonna remind me of the holocaust...

But, Jeremy and Larry, for Bob's 40th birthday...

But, Rob, no one wants to have lunch with me.

But, you know what?

By Bob Cobb at the Brown Derby!

By Bob Cobb in the Brown Derby Restaurant.

By our team of scientists at the Groat's laboratories.

By the way, didn't the doctor...

By the way, I could make those triangles and those circles.

By your descriptions, "dark hair, 20 years old"...

Bye bye.

Bye bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Can I get it to go?

Can I get this out of the way for you? Great.

Can I tell you something? It's a very French look. It's very French.

Can somebody tell me what they did to the bottom of the broccoli?

Can we go? Let's just go.

Can you believe this?

Can you help me out?

Can you keep it down?

Can you shoot the whales from the terrace?

Can you take it outside, please? How about a little consideration, okay?

Canceled the page in the birthday book.

Card skill game, Brad.

Casa Del Mar, the fancy restaurant by the water.

Casual Friday. Pisses me off.

CBS today, yeah, I'll see you there. Don't be late.

CBS.

Cheryl is gonna flip out when she gets this thing.

Cheryl, somebody sent me flowers.

Cheryl, what are you doing?

Cheryl, you know, I barely know you...

Cheryl?

Chicken and turkey and a glass... I got $115, is that cool?

Cliff, oh, my gosh!

Coffee on me! Ladies and gentlemen...

Come here. You don't know me, Dave Levin.

Come in and work for me.

Come on in.

Come on up, get some coffee. That's right, go ahead, enjoy yourself.

Come on, change it. Can you... Come on.

Come on, come sit down. You want water or a coffee or...

Come on, don't listen to this nonsense.

Come on, enjoy the game.

Come on, honey, let's get going!

Come on, I'm kidding around

Come on, it's as good as done, right?

Come on, just go.

Come on, one more shot.

Come on, people, everything on me.

Come on, that's funny.

Come on, the ticket.

Congratulations.

Constantly running to the bathroom.

Could you please excuse us for a minute? I'm talking to somebody.

Could you please take this to the next room...

Couldn't I just write the check?

Cunt's worse.

Dad, don't you want to stay a little bit longer?

Dad, you stay here with me. Okay, very good.

Dad's kind of a big fake. You know what he is?

Dairy product, peanut butter. What you mean, no?

Dairy products. Peanut butter...

Dana, that's my middle name, Larry Dana David.

Dana.

Dentist got in touch with Wasserman, thinks I'm a wife beater.

Depending on the city, of course. Duluth is a city, it's considered a city...

Did he take the shrimp?

Did he tell you I kicked him out? Yeah, his male ego, his stupid male...

Did I tell you that I have a very good friend that went to South Africa?

Did she offer you coffee or water or something?

Did they threaten you in any way? Did you see weapons of any kind?

Did we think we really needed Alaska and Hawaii?

Did you check the order before you left?

Did you even know, did you know he was working there?

Did you give him a $5,000 tip?

Did you have a good time last night?

Did you look at these people? Did you see anything?

Did you notice that when I asked him about the sweater...

Did you pencil that in and didn't tell me?

Did you see the back of his bathing suit? How does he walk around like that?

Did you sell a lot of cars?

Did you tell him how wrong it is to say something like that?

Did you tell my father some story about a dry cleaner?

Did you?

Didn't you read the literature I sent you?

Didn't you say he leaves marks on you sometimes?

Divorce?

Do a dance and cheerlead and stuff.

Do I say, "You must like lobsters, eat lobster.

Do me a favor and change it for me.

Do me a favor. See if anybody is in the ladies' room?

Do we have to start at the exact same time? I don't get that.

Do you believe my wife made me change clothes...

Do you believe that I might be getting back into network television?

Do you believe them? Do you believe what they did to me?

Do you believe this? What the hell are they doing?

Do you ever hear from any of those guys at Saturday Night Live?

Do you go through that every time you order that salad?

Do you have a tattoo of a star?

Do you have any idea?

Do you have the short haired head...

Do you have to have a lot of experience for that?

Do you hear a noise?

Do you hear what I'm saying? I'm dying!

Do you know anybody who would do that?

Do you know anything about changing a tire?

Do you know anything about these pages? Do you paste it on something?

Do you move your camp or is it a base camp?

Do you think I didn't see you at the screening last night?

Do you think I want her blabbing about me to people?

Do you think maybe it's too long?

Do you think she's gonna notice the difference?

Do you wanna know?

Doctor, or a...

Doctor's orders. I'm dehydrated or something...

Does anybody want to split cheesecake or something?

Does she work there?

Does this car have that? Is it standard?

Doesn't have a wife, and his parents are dead.

Doesn't have to be just golf. You can't walk around? It's a shirt.

Doesn't make a difference.

Don't be acting like...

Don't be modest about this. You're with us now.

Don't call him a son of a bitch, he's not a son of a bitch.

Don't change that.

Don't forget sun block.

Don't forget the CBS meeting.

Don't get me wrong.

Don't I have to spend her birthday with her or something?

Don't leave that in the middle. I gotta put this in here.

Don't say I have an ass fetish, you got nothing on me.

Don't they have, like, special scissors to make those fancy edges on the end?

Don't worry about it. I wouldn't worry about it.

Don't worry, it's gonna fit.

Don't you ever point another finger at my kids again...

Don't you feel calmer?

Don't you knock before you come in?

Don't you resent it?

Don't you say goodbye?

Don't you say goodbye?

Don't you say goodnight?

Don't you say goodnight?

Don't you think I would love to go to the beach?

Don't you? You don't go to the movies to see it.

Donald, good to see you.

Dr. Groat might be Dick Groat's father, for all we know.

Dr. Wiggins?

Early in the morning, what does it matter? Is she a baby?

Eleven.

Even when you're not.

Evening.

Ever play the salt and pepper shakers?

Ever, ever.

Ever, with anyone.

Every hole...

Every meeting, I'm traveling.

Every time I have to go to a meeting, or there's a meeting...

Every time I walk in, you're just sitting here...

Everybody here has been waiting, okay?

Everybody knows that.

Everybody knows that. Nobody thinks it's real.

Everybody, this is Larry David.

Everyone knows about this agreement. My employees, my business.

Everyone, the game is five card stud. Everyone ante up there.

Everything, exactly.

Everything. Look at it, it's maroon.

Everything's a big problem with you people!

Everything's okay with you and Allan, right?

Everywhere I go on the street, "Hey, Costanza!

Exactly, fake. That's exactly the word I'm looking for.

Except women into sex, that's one thing I can't do.

Excuse me, are you a doctor?

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Excuse me, there's no food or drink in the theater. I'm sorry.

Excuse me, you leaving?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Fantastic!

Fantastic.

Fat fuck, trying to hide, like you're Mr. Inconspicuous.

Feeling all right? No uncomfortable sensations?

Festive?

Final boarding call for flight 1459, non stop to Monterey.

Finally, they're done.

Fine, if that's the way it's gonna be, so be it.

Fine, we'll just get takeout food, great.

First of all, I didn't say I wanted to have sex in the afternoon.

Five minutes later, my tire...

Five to 10 years.

Flight 627 to San Francisco...

Flowers.

For a man to send...

For a series, an idea for a series, okay?

For a verbal response, $10.

For heaven's sake. Give me time, I want to do it, too.

For the auction and everything.

For the show?

For two months he's gonna be out.

Forget I said anything. Sorry.

Forget it, don't even answer it.

Forget Paris!

Forget the bracelet, Larry.

Forget the psychic. Let's fool around.

Forgive me for sounding a little cynical, but I've heard that before.

Forgot my napkin.

Free candy, I'm 40 years old, I want free candy!

Free coffee and donuts and Danish and bagels.

From you calling him a cunt, he's shell shocked...

Gay, no, he's not gay, he's married.

Get a seat. I'm so glad you're here.

Get back in, a couple of dunks, you're done.

Get here earlier. It's not my fault.

Get in the car again, drive to the restaurant.

Get me the head!

Get some brochures, you know where we are.

Get their own table.

Get this guy out of here, you're fired.

Give me the ticket back, I won't say anything

Giving him leftovers like that, that was crazy.

Go ahead.

Go fuck yourself.

Go outside, go outside, okay?

Go up to Room 818.

Go with him and I'll be up.

Go. Get out of here, go ahead, hurry up.

God, I hate doing this, 'cause, you know, you always take it the wrong way.

God, look at that line.

God, no, save it for tonight!

God!

God.

Going on in this household.

Good luck.

Good morning.

Good to see you, how are you?

Good to see you, too.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Good, Albert Mayo, Larry David, Larry David, Albert Mayo.

Good, nice move.

Good, okay.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good. Guess what? I have made plans for us tonight.

Goodnight, sorry.

Goodnight.

Gotcha. I'm looking forward to it.

Gotcha. I'm looking forward to it.

Gotta drive around like an idiot for 15 minutes?

Grab your clothes, and you're gone.

G**** pie? There's no g**** pie.

Great, terrific, fantastic!

Great, where do you want to do this?

Great.

Great. We'll play. You're on for tomorrow.

Grilled salmon, all right.

Grilled salmon, all right.

Groat, have you ever heard of Groat's syndrome?

Groat's, let's hold on to the dream

Groat's, we're not as hyper as we seem

Guess who I'm going to see.

Guys, dad's gonna run up to the bathroom.

Guys.

Hall, you must go in, she's gonna steal the whole thing.

Hand out tallises and yarmulkes.

Hang on a minute.

Happy birthday

Happy birthday

Happy birthday, Mr. President John Tyler

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Happy Halloween.

Happy?

Hating each other desperately, but still they...

Have a big dinner for two hours.

Have a great day.

Have the drink, then come back out...

Have you been catching on what's going on here?

Have you even moved since I left this morning?

Have you ever done a page in a birthday book?

Have you ever had a fresh g****?

Have you heard of Columbine?

Have you just retired...

Have you seen my keys? I have an appointment with the psychic.

Have you talked to him about your imaginary stepfather?

Have you worked it out that way? Cheryl will love me.

HBO, you know what happened with them. It's all running out.

He came to your house, yeah, I remember.

He can't even face me, that fat fuck.

He can't get on the plane with our tickets, can he?

He can't get work anymore...

He can't say he's playing golf...

He cut me out of the will, Larry.

He didn't mean to interrupt you.

He didn't say anything about a house sound.

He didn't wanna drive to your office and the whole thing's off?

He doesn't have a wife, and his parents are dead.

He finally gets the girl and he kills her...

He gave it to me before he died.

He gave me a quarter of what I was gonna get in the will...

He getting more than just a massage.

He getting more than just a massage.

He had great things to eat.

He had to eat, you know...

He hands them the ticket, he walks on the plane. Call the airline.

He implied that I was lying about my stepfather.

He invented Bingo. Are you aware of that?

He invited me to a surprise party next Thursday night for his wife.

He invited us to this movie.

He is down there flushing my fucking life down the toilet.

He is such a slimy, spineless creature that he sends you to do his dirty work.

He just says he has to call and get a sitter.

He keeps in contact with me. He doesn't let me know that stuff.

He knew, he saw it wasn't his food.

He knows about the thong thing.

He knows about the whole thong thing.

He leaves some black and blue marks, but he'll fix it.

He must have a lot on his mind tonight.

He must've told Rob, who told him.

He puts you in this awkward position, like all the times he used to keep secrets.

He said he was going to get a lawyer.

He said it was 100% cashmere?

He said, "Maybe if Larry would...

He screws the wife of a man in a wheelchair!

He should be happy that you got him something.

He should've gone in with that ace.

He sold Jeff some cars and...

He sounded like a wrestler...

He takes his poker very...

He tells him that he's gonna sit around.

He tells me you're here selling cars, which I say has gotta be a joke.

He tells them he's going to give them parts...

He thinks he's smarter than everybody else...

He thinks I don't know about that porn stash.

He thinks I don't know this shit. What did he tell you, what did he say?

He thinks I'm a wife beater.

He thinks that I put you up to it, and now he's cut me out of the will...

He told me he was going to cancel the check...

He told me that he doesn't want any of this.

He wanted to do a stop and chat. I didn't want to do a stop and chat.

He wanted to stop and chat with me and I don't know him that well.

He wanted to stop and talk, and I just kept walking...

He wants me to go back for the next meeting.

He wants to have lunch with Larry David.

He was obviously making it up after the time ran out.

He was probably hungry. He got the container.

He went for a hunting trip.

He works at the restaurant, Moho, in your hotel.

He'll be hungry. Should we order a dinner for him?

He'll, I'm sure

He's a victim of circumstance.

He's been completely snubbing me.

He's been out of the game for five minutes.

He's checking for the house sound.

He's down there right now, Larry.

He's getting baptized and the whole thing, whatever.

He's gonna be out two months?

He's gonna do it all from now on. He will do it all.

He's gonna walk out now. This is what he's famous for.

He's in the locker room.

He's my manager. What if he goes to a studio, to the Palm or Spago...

He's not gonna break into our house, he's going to Monterey.

He's nothing at all like...

He's out of his mind!

He's phenomenal, I'm a lucky guy.

He's supposed to have lunch with my wife at this Japanese restaurant later.

He's the antithesis, 'cause Jason is brilliant...

He's very happy.

Hedonist, he's a hedonist?

Hello, isn't this beautiful?

Hello, sir, Joel Reynolds.

Hello?

Hello? We're pitching.

Hello.

Hello.

Her birthday's on Friday, so I...

Her name is Kim.

Here we are in Doll World.

Here we go. Beautiful.

Here you go, Room 818.

Here's a good question for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire:

Here's Amber, everybody, Amber, come on out.

Hey there, flowers for Larry David.

Hey, Elvira.

Hey, how's Cheryl's present coming?

Hey, I'm allowed to eat popcorn.

Hey, let me ask you something.

Hey, the bracelet might be ready.

Hey, Tom!

Hey, very nice, you're going golfing?

Hi, can I get you some coffee?

Hi, can I help you folks?

Hi, Carol. I'm so sorry.

Hi, Cliff.

Hi, I'm Cheryl.

Hi, I'm Linda Johnson from Social Services.

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you.

Hi, Lar. It's good to see you.

Hi, Larry, it's Judy. It's nice to see you here.

Hi, Larry.

Hi, Michael, how are you?

Hi, my name is Cheryl David and I'm...

Hi, we're not in. Please leave a message at the tone. Thank you.

Hi, would you like to be seated?

Hi, yes.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Hi. We lost our tickets. We need to get on this flight right now.

His boys are hanging out all over the place.

His first name's Thor, Thor Oleson.

His grandfather didn't invent it.

His initial diagnosis of the complete tear of the quadriceps tendon...

His whole life?

Hold on!

Holy cow.

Holy mackerel.

Holy shit, you know how hard I worked for those?

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Honest, it's not awkward, I'm very comfortable.

Honestly, he's kind of struggling right now.

Honestly, I can't even look at that guy now.

Honestly, I have never been so humiliated in my life, really.

Honestly.

Honey, it's fine.

Honey, please don't yell at my parents like that.

Hope you don't mind, we raided your games.

Horrendous.

Hot.

House seems different than it did the other day.

How about common courtesy?

How about dessert menu? We got a lot of good stuff.

How about six?

How about this: Aren't You Evelyn?

How am I gonna tell him I'm gonna leave now?

How am I supposed to eat? There's no fork, there's no napkin.

How are you feeling?

How are you?

How big do you like them?

How can he insult you about somebody who's imaginary?

How can he walk around in a bathing suit like that?

How can you have this attitude? That you're better?

How can you relax if these guys take a year like this?

How can you say he's a schmuck, a yutz and an idiot?

How can you sit and relax and have a drink, it doesn't...

How come you told me to get rid of the water then?

How could you not go in with an ace high?

How could you not go in with an ace high?

How could you not understand...

How did it go?

How did the other acquaintances take it, okay?

How did this happen? He's on to me now.

How did you do that? What did you summon?

How did you ever come up with something like that?

How did you know that?

How do I owe you $5,000?

How do you know I wanna go out with her?

How do you like that? Good for you.

How does somebody become a car salesman?

How great you feel.

How many shrimp do you generally put in the kung pao shrimp?

How many times are we gonna talk about Greg?

How much more clear can I be? No comment.

How old is she, 5 or 6 years old?

How were the garlic noodles, the other night?

How you doing?

How you doing?

How you doing?

How you doing?

How's that an admission of guilt? I was the man.

How's the shrimp, Al?

I absolutely guarantee total recovery.

I actually can't do it on Monday.

I actually can't. It's Cheryl's birthday.

I actually have a rather bizarre request.

I actually wanna go 'cause she showed a lot of cleavage for that time.

I also heard that he's a big Seinfeld fan. I want to get Seinfeld tapes, if you can.

I am just so excited about this. This is wonderful, this is great.

I am just so excited.

I am so excited about this.

I am so sorry.

I am, in a way, but I'm not stealing it.

I asked if he would mind. I was starving.

I asked you to be ready when I got back.

I bought a Barcalounger, a big screen TV with the money.

I brought you these Seinfeld tapes. Albert told me you were a big fan.

I call that stealing.

I came up here for the tape, and thank you, but I...

I can endorse it over to you.

I can get you on another flight

I can see. You're a liar, man!

I can tell you this, I'm not gonna do it again if you're at the table.

I can't believe he didn't even mention that to me.

I can't believe that guy called me a misogynist.

I can't believe that you didn't go in with that.

I can't believe that you had that guy dive into that ice cold water.

I can't believe we're here.

I can't believe you don't know what a baptism is.

I can't believe you stole this pot.

I can't believe you're saying this.

I can't believe you've been...

I can't carry all this stuff. What about the umbrella, you want that too?

I can't carry all this stuff. What about the umbrella, you want that too?

I can't do it.

I can't do it.

I can't find the tickets.

I can't go on the plane, my hands are tied.

I can't hit in front of an audience. You know, I just can't.

I can't serve, I'll have to make dainty little serves...

I can't sleep with that.

I can't talk right now. I'll talk to you later. Okay.

I cannot live there any longer. It's not a house.

I cannot risk running into him at social functions...

I changed the message right in front of him in the office.

I could drive back to the Michaelsons.

I could have said, "I'd know that tush anywhere."

I could see you being more frustrated than Jason...

I could work at the temple on Saturday mornings...

I did knock. I've been knocking for a while.

I did okay.

I didn't beat my wife.

I didn't cut it! He did!

I didn't feel like going through...

I didn't get hurt at all.

I didn't give him a fork.

I didn't go to my office yet...

I didn't know he was so obsessed with asses until today.

I didn't know he was working in the deli.

I didn't know that it was gonna be "felony or treat."

I didn't know why we had to sell the old place.

I didn't know you could change your outgoing message.

I didn't say "deviant."

I didn't say she had a big ass, okay.

I didn't say that as a fact, I speculated, because...

I didn't take it.

I didn't think the trick extended to felony.

I didn't want to drive an hour and a half with a bathing suit on.

I didn't. I didn't know you were gonna say that.

I divided the rice very carefully. It's all clean, it's all good.

I do feel great.

I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being *******.

I do need you to do me a huge favor...

I do think it's a good idea for you to work with Jason.

I do want to eat...

I don't care if I lose ****. Take them all, I don't need them.

I don't deal with this kind of thing often...

I don't even have a bed.

I don't even have enough to cover that.

I don't even know what to put down here. I mean, I'm...

I don't even need chairs in front of my desk. Nobody ever sits there.

I don't even want to talk about it too much, lest I dissipate it.

I don't feel like getting up and driving some place.

I don't get this.

I don't give a damn if it's half a day a week. I don't like it.

I don't hate the character, I'm a little tired of it.

I don't have a closet in my house. I'm used to throwing things.

I don't have a single ticket. I'm completely sold out. I'm sorry.

I don't have a wife, I don't have, you know...

I don't have another flight to Monterey...

I don't have to play. I won't play, big deal.

I don't have to put it on. I'm not gonna go swimming anyway, am I?

I don't have your ticket.

I don't have your ticket. What are you talking about?

I don't hear it during the day. Can you come back tonight?

I don't know about the divorce thing, because, you know...

I don't know how I did it.

I don't know how I did it.

I don't know how that schlep ever married you.

I don't know if I'll even go back to him 'cause of this.

I don't know if that's any adventure, really.

I don't know if you got started on that page for Bob's birthday book.

I don't know what it's like to have a baptism, or what you're supposed to feel...

I don't know what that is. You know, you ought to go to a doctor.

I don't know what the hell she's talking about!

I don't know what they do in Japan.

I don't know what to do to make it up to you.

I don't know what to say, I'm sorry that you feel that way.

I don't know where you get that from.

I don't know who you're looking for, Larry.

I don't know why she would. Maybe she's an anti Semite.

I don't know why we had to leave the hotel. I love the hotel.

I don't know why you call him an asshole. Is he?

I don't know why you have to wait until he dies. That's crazy.

I don't know, an idiot on the show.

I don't know, but they're very compelling figures...

I don't know, Cheryl. Maybe he'll make a contribution.

I don't know, he asked me if he could pick us up.

I don't know, he asked me if he could pick us up.

I don't know, how much was this?

I don't know, I don't care.

I don't know, I stuck my legs out. I'm so sorry.

I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.

I don't know, I'll throw it out at you, okay?

I don't know, this is coming from somewhere.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. But...

I don't know. We'll make it, I think.

I don't know...

I don't mind a big ass. No, not necessarily big.

I don't mind it if they actually catch you doing something illegal, but not on camera.

I don't owe you $5,000. What are you talking about?

I don't play golf.

I don't really get this fascination that people have with the ocean.

I don't really like the outdoors, you know.

I don't see him that way, I just see him as funny.

I don't see how it was your concern. You don't work here.

I don't see how you could sit and have a drink...

I don't see why you can't wait two seconds for your cold sandwich. It's not even hot.

I don't see why you care if I take a bite of my food.

I don't tell my wife anything, I don't confide in my wife.

I don't think I should be doing this.

I don't think she's gonna give us the head back.

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

I don't think the golden rule applies here.

I don't think there's that much to go over.

I don't think we ever had one like that.

I don't trust anybody. I just treat her like an acquaintance.

I don't understand how lunch could come...

I don't understand that.

I don't understand, it's a different atmosphere?

I don't wanna go back in there. It was hard enough the first time.

I don't wanna go.

I don't want her telling people about me, or things to come out in court.

I don't want her to repeat.

I don't want to do it, Larry. I don't feel like doing that right now.

I don't want to go anymore, I don't want to break the record.

I don't want to play with that guy anyway to tell you the truth.

I don't want to talk about shrimp.

I don't want you to lose the check.

I dunked you one time, you need to be dunked three times.

I feel a lot of pressure to be entertaining, you know?

I feel aggravated that I'm missing what other people are getting.

I feel bad that you are such a good therapist...

I feel great.

I feel like it's, like...

I feel so bad. I can see that you're upset.

I felt like even more of a Jew.

I felt so much pressure from the fact that this guy had paid $4,000...

I forget to say goodbye? Never in my life have I forgotten.

I forgot. We were supposed to play golf.

I found these airplane tickets.

I fucked up.

I gave Melissa one of those, it's really nice.

I get it. You took $5,000. You're a bounty hunter.

I get so much satisfaction out of seeing...

I go out to dinner, I wind up with a homework assignment.

I go to his office for a meeting...

I go up to Santa Barbara, we go to the beach.

I got a little piece of information for you...

I got a little thing on my back, and I was hoping...

I got a napkin and a fork.

I got a very comfortable chair.

I got a very nice office. You'll be able to focus on anything.

I got blackboards up there, we can write it all out.

I got it.

I got news for you. You might not have to worry...

I got some leftovers here. Maybe I'll just get him a doggie bag or something.

I got some openings in the afternoon, and we'll kick it around for an hour.

I got the guy. That's the guy.

I got to go call Jason Alexander.

I got to go change my clothes.

I got to go to Jeff's house and get his clothes.

I got to move fast. Do you know of an estate lawyer?

I got under the water, you held me under.

I got up to tip room service.

I gotta check out my penis.

I gotta run, I gotta get to the Center. Enjoy the game, have a good time.

I guarantee you...

I guess I missed a strand there. I got a Swiss Army

I guess that's up to you.

I guess when they switched them back, Allan had taken seven of your shrimp?

I guess you'll just have to run back there...

I had a beautiful rainbow with "I love you, Bob," and...

I had I just need to seize this moment while Bob's in the bathroom.

I had no money, but I needed to support myself.

I had the fork, and the guy caught me taking the fork out of the restaurant...

I had this lunch with that guy for the charity...

I have a check...

I have an idea, I think I can actually... Maybe this will work.

I have been trying to get to the Amazon for...

I have not touched another woman, that's ridiculous.

I have seen Larry David in action, and that man is an animal...

I have to do it on Monday. I have to show up for my first day at work.

I have to go to the doctor now? That's gonna be a lot of fun.

I have to thank your producer, director...

I have trouble saying no.

I haven't paid the acupuncturist yet. He has to cure my neck.

I haven't seen the house yet, anyhow.

I haven't. I would like to be able to say that. "Fuck."

I heard about you trying to sleep around with her.

I heard that Julia is looking for a project.

I heard that Julia is looking for a project.

I heard that these SUVs...

I hope it works. It was painful.

I hope my parents found something to eat. I didn't even think about that.

I hope you win.

I just couldn't pick out an outfit.

I just decided it was too overwhelming...

I just don't feel jazzed about it...

I just don't want to do this show. I just don't want to do it anymore.

I just don't want to go back and do TV.

I just feel like there's a lot of pressure for me to be entertaining...

I just had this idea.

I just kept putting money down. Why didn't they stop me?

I just like it, you know.

I just read about that in the paper. It's called "scarlet letter punishment."

I just think it's kind of weird.

I just thought she...

I just want to make sure that I'm losing you for the reason that you're saying.

I just was gonna give these Seinfeld tapes to Shaq.

I just welled up.

I kept saying, "Is that enough?" $80, $90.

I knew I should've said something to the supervisor.

I knew you'd open up a can of worms just by starting to ask him.

I know a lot about shelving. I put up all the shelves in my house and

I know about it, she told me about it.

I know everything, Larry.

I know it's freezing 'cause you can see the smoke coming out of his mouth.

I know that about Becky. She's very...

I know the song is Suite: Judy Blue Eyes...

I know what happened.

I know what you did.

I know what you're talking about. I'm not an idiot.

I know you took the doll's head. Where is it?

I know you're ethical, I'm ethical.

I know, 'cause he was a bald guy. And he didn't feel very well...

I know, because I had this whole night planned for us

I know, but the intention is the same, don't you understand?

I know, but...

I know, he thinks he's doing a really good thing.

I know, I go in and I talk to them...

I know, this is amazing.

I know, you told me that already. What do you do on Casual Friday?

I know.

I know. But I'm uncomfortable with him just sitting out there waiting for us.

I know. She was skiing and then she had the problem.

I left my sunglasses there and I came by to pick them up.

I left Susie last night.

I left them in the office.

I like how our representatives got us together here.

I like it a lot. How long have you been her manager?

I like that whole Clark Kent thing you got happening there.

I like the bottom, it's crunchy.

I like the edge of it because it's funny, but it's a little quirky, too.

I like the outfit. I like the way it looks.

I like the way you told them you've never seen a baptism before.

I like them just the regular... I like them just like yours, okay?

I like this shirt. I get a lot of compliments on this outfit.

I like to have a real conversation with people.

I locked him up and I wish you could have heard it. It was beautiful.

I love it. I really think it's perfect.

I love the master bedroom, the downstairs, the fireplace.

I love the sea.

I love you. I love your confidence.

I loved every minute, and then I look over and Larry's yawning.

I mean it very sincerely.

I mean it's a biological function.

I mean, 'cause she's a bright girl.

I mean, 600,000 people.

I mean, a lot of people are doing it. Tony Danza, and Ted Danson...

I mean, but he played such a...

I mean, he can't stop talking about it.

I mean, he's at the beach, he can wear whatever he wants, right?

I mean, I have a limited amount of time.

I mean, I think it's a really funny idea.

I mean, I wish my worthless son could get into something like that..

I mean, I'll play even if she doesn't want to.

I mean, I'm an actor. I have a range of characters that I can play.

I mean, if I went to the beach with her she would be...

I mean, if you had your food come first...

I mean, it really took some time to do this thing, too.

I mean, it was a long time coming.

I mean, it's just been a fiasco from start to finish.

I mean, it's just the whole notion of the guy gets the wrong order of food...

I mean, it's not contagious, but...

I mean, of course, it was funny.

I mean, perfect.

I mean, Shaq is coming off the bench...

I mean, that's a situation that I find rather annoying.

I mean, that's a weird thing. I wouldn't go back.

I mean, the range of characters this guy can do.

I mean, the thing about it is that you're not even close to George.

I mean, there's 10,000 kids who could fit that description.

I mean, we just had some turkey.

I mean, what do you have to be to be settled down?

I mean, what if I have a really bad kidney thing? I'm not

I mean, where are your manners?

I mean, you know, I came here today, so, tomorrow maybe...

I mean...

I might be able to help you with this, okay?

I might be.

I must tell you, Larry...

I need a credit card and I'll get this all rolling for you.

I need for you to be a Christian before I marry you.

I need the bracelet that she made for me.

I need to borrow $5,000.

I never broke the law, you know, but personal things.

I never saw a baptism before, I don't know what it is.

I never took a shop class and I need a little help.

I never would have gotten Seinfeld if not for him.

I notice this is a GT...

I owe you big time.

I probably said a couple of nasty things about you...

I probably should've let the guy eat with his hands.

I ran into him on the street the other day and I didn't do a stop and chat.

I ran into him the other day.

I really appreciate this, it's like a fantasy that I have.

I really can't do it, I've got nothing.

I really don't like that you're taking so much pleasure in this.

I really don't want to be eating after somebody else.

I really like it, it's a nice house. It's big, but I like it.

I remember when you made that message. I thought it was very funny.

I said, "Do you mind if I start?" He said, "Yes."

I said, "Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?"

I said...

I saw that guy who manages the place, Rick Crane.

I saw the Jackson Pollock movie the night before...

I saw the marquee.

I saw the whole thing, and he just walked in.

I saw you coming in with water. There's no water, that's the rules.

I say we team up you and Jason again. Let's get you guys in a meeting.

I see swings of emotion that disturb me a little bit, Larry.

I see your husband Larry.

I see.

I spent seven years getting my life together...

I stare at it for 10 minutes and I go, "Okay, I get it."

I start on Monday.

I suggest you go and check yourself in.

I suggested a restaurant, he thought it was too close to me.

I suspect they are. Or you wouldn't be out here smoking.

I swear to God, I'm not lying.

I tell this to people all the time.

I think he's bad, I'm not gonna go into why.

I think I do know what you mean.

I think I just saw my therapist. You see a guy in a striped bathing suit?

I think I'm all better.

I think I'm going to call Jason Alexander tomorrow.

I think I'm gonna do it.

I think I'm just gonna get a Cobb salad.

I think it depends which company you go through.

I think it was about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

I think it's about to start. You guys going in over here?

I think it's great.

I think it's kind of impolite to prevent a person...

I think it's some sort of Japanese gay thing.

I think it's some sort of Japanese gay thing.

I think she might have that Judy doll.

I think she'll work more on my neck and that'll be it!

I think so, too. Look at that. I really think I did a great job.

I think so.

I think that Santa Barbara thing...

I think that's a pretty good idea.

I think that's kind of a misogynist thing to say.

I think there are other words that you could use...

I think they really liked the show. I think...

I think they want to do it.

I think we might be due for some sex tonight.

I think we should get going. I'm very uncomfortable.

I think we're on the wrong page here.

I think you might be interested in knowing that your daughter, last night...

I think you should look at the map and find out where we are exactly.

I think you were totally right.

I think you're gonna be surprised at how little I go for.

I think you're gonna have to just go somewhere else.

I thought he was one of those effeminate heterosexuals.

I thought I had dark secrets? What the hell is this about?

I thought I had to turn around, and show you my big ass.

I thought I recognized that woman from the back.

I thought I'd be uncomfortable.

I thought it was rude.

I thought it was. And, of course...

I thought that he was drowning him. I'm sorry!

I thought the doll looked better, to tell you the truth.

I throw them on the floor, that's how all my clothes are at home...

I told him I was happy and I didn't need the therapy.

I told him my stepfather got in an accident.

I told him that I worked in a dry cleaner, and my father found out about it...

I told you you'd get it as soon as he died, and you made it happen.

I tried to call you. The phone number was on there.

I turn you on to this guy, he's a brilliant doctor.

I understand that, but you need to get to the back of the line, please.

I wanna call Richard Lewis. I want you to corroborate this message.

I wanna know what a Jew is whistling Wagner for...

I want the ticket. I gotta get on the plane.

I want to be able to say "fuck," you know. And I wanna say...

I want to do it right. I want to...

I want to find out more about the car.

I want to get out in the rough.

I want to go with you.

I want to retire here some day. Absolutely gorgeous.

I want to see if I can do it. I thought that I'd be great at it.

I want to see my boy.

I want to see the features so we can negotiate...

I want to show them I can do it.

I want to talk to you real quick.

I want to talk, could I go with you, to the hotel?

I want to try to get in touch with Shaquille O'Neal, okay?

I want you people to be uncomfortable all the time.

I want you to be on cutting edge whenever you're handling my business.

I want you to change that 'cause people call me...

I want you to go on the Internet and get some information for me...

I want you to go outside, there's a station wagon out there.

I want you to let the air out of somebody's tires.

I wanted to remind you to say goodbye.

I was able to put food in the refrigerator, when he came over...

I was about to take him to the manager's office.

I was alone.

I was born in Brooklyn, and I felt alienated...

I was giving out candy all night.

I was going to forge some of the Lakers' signatures on it...

I was going to tell you when you got home.

I was gonna say goodbye, I'm not a moron. I know how to

I was having lunch today with a guy who owns a Toyota showroom.

I was in a contest and you know I was in it.

I was in the delivery room, he asked me to cut the umbilical cord...

I was joking around 'cause you guys were talking...

I was joking around at the table, okay?

I was just stretching my legs out and he tripped.

I was just trying to be helpful.

I was kind of thinking maybe tomorrow we could do it in my office in Santa Monica.

I was not at the beach.

I was saying earlier...

I was stretching. I never sat there before. I'm sorry.

I was there with Jeff last week.

I was thinking, "What does he give a shit about what I'm ordering in my salad?"

I was trying to help a driver, a working man...

I was wondering... This is gonna sound a little crazy.

I was working in a dry cleaner. I didn't tell him.

I wasn't bored. I was yawning because... Can't somebody be tired and yawn?

I wasn't named after him, it's just a family name.

I went shopping with my wife, and...

I went to a girl's house...

I went to his office twice, he never came to mine.

I will body slam you so hard that you will poop your bald pants.

I will not be intimidated. Even on Halloween.

I will not forget sun block.

I will sell more cars than anybody in your showroom.

I will take care of you when it's your turn, okay? Thank you.

I wish I could videotape this reaction.

I wish you wouldn't say one more thing to me.

I wish you wouldn't talk anymore tonight.

I won't play golf with that guy.

I wonder if he brought a date.

I would call him up and pitch my clients. How you doing? Jay Schneider.

I would imagine I would.

I would know everything about him.

I would like to stop off and have a drink on the way.

I would really like for you to get dressed so we can go look at this house.

I would say, go ahead and start, what do I care?

I would understand that you don't want to talk about it.

I wrote it seven and a half years ago!

I yelled out the window and I said, "I'd know that tush anywhere."

I'd be happy to help you if you step to the back of the line.

I'd be uncomfortable if you waited.

I'd call you when you were at Seinfeld. I was working at the William Morris Agency.

I'd feel it would be polite to wait for your food to arrive.

I'd go home and say, "Honey, I was getting a massage...

I'd just like to put HBO in the mix, I'd really like to.

I'd know that tush anywhere.

I'd know that tush anywhere.

I'd like to get to know you, too.

I'd like to.

I'd like you talk at my daughter's Bat Mitzvah.

I'd love to go back to TV, that seems good. But I can't shake this George thing.

I'll be able to pay you back as soon as he, you know, as he goes.

I'll be happy if you make me wait for as long as you want.

I'll be here, yeah. Thank you.

I'll be right back, okay? I'll be right back.

I'll be up there in a second, and we'll talk about everything

I'll be waiting in the car. I'll wait for you.

I'll bet he took the shrimp.

I'll bet you he got into that office. I knew it. He was standing there...

I'll bet you there's about $800 in there, you know that?

I'll call the airline and tell them what happened.

I'll donate it all. My time, my organs.

I'll get the brochures, I'll study up...

I'll give you $35. I'll give you $10 for a response.

I'll give you $35. I'll give you $10 for a response.

I'll go later today.

I'll go...

I'll have a decaf.

I'll help with the pictures or whatever you need me...

I'll leave you the number where I'm gonna be staying...

I'll meet you in there.

I'll meet you. Wait outside.

I'll root for the other team. I can't stand the Lakers, really.

I'll see you at lunch.

I'll see you later.

I'll see you Tuesday.

I'll set that up for you.

I'll take a mocha.

I'll take care of the rest.

I'll take it upstairs and make sure it fits.

I'll take you in there with me, come on.

I'll tell you this right now

I'll tell you what he said.

I'll tell you what, get me a cup of water, I'll sprinkle you.

I'll tell you, you want to do it tomorrow?

I'll try.

I'm a big man. I'm a big, expansive man.

I'm a little puzzled.

I'm a lovely gentleman.

I'm actually running late. I got them.

I'm actually working.

I'm afraid she's gonna tell you about it!

I'm always going. Nobody's ever coming to me.

I'm available for any kind of favor that you need.

I'm back.

I'm being my sister. This is my costume.

I'm calling to confirm your acupuncture appointment.

I'm disappointed. Now what's this?

I'm done with it. It's over.

I'm exhausted.

I'm flattered that you would even think of me for this...

I'm getting a David salad.

I'm giving you the aisle, considering all the water you've had.

I'm glad you could join us.

I'm glad you could use it, there you go.

I'm glad you like it.

I'm going back to that restaurant, and I'll go count the shrimp...

I'm going to be up all night with this thing. Gotta be fresh in the morning.

I'm going to the game tonight.

I'm going to.

I'm gonna call the police.

I'm gonna call the police.

I'm gonna check the machine.

I'm gonna clean it up by myself?

I'm gonna drive.

I'm gonna get a picture of that, too.

I'm gonna give you a sentence that will guarantee...

I'm gonna go to Starbucks and get some coffee.

I'm gonna sign him, you like that.

I'm gonna work when something comes up that I want to do.

I'm here to change my will. A lot of money is involved.

I'm in a poker game with Michael and his wife...

I'm in analysis, it doesn't do anything.

I'm in.

I'm joking, what's the matter with you? I'm gonna push them out of the way.

I'm just borrowing it for a minute, and letting him eat his meal, then I'll get it back.

I'm just brushing my doll's hair.

I'm just coming flat out and saying, "Help me."

I'm just curious.

I'm just realizing this now.

I'm just saying if he gets Sarah Jessica Parker...

I'm just saying something happened to me there that told me...

I'm just saying...

I'm just sorry about the whole thing and cutting it and...

I'm just thinking about Jeff, that's all.

I'm just using Elvira to describe her. That's all.

I'm just wearing a shirt. I like this shirt.

I'm laughing, 'cause you're funny.

I'm lucky that I had a father who was so supportive of me...

I'm married, that's plenty of work.

I'm miserable and I'm suicidal, I want to leave?

I'm not a cool guy. You gotta be cool to do that.

I'm not according you any special treatment?

I'm not blind. Get it straight, all right? My eyes work.

I'm not going back there. No way, I can't, would you?

I'm not gonna feel so great.

I'm not having an affair!

I'm not kidding.

I'm not kinky.

I'm not quiet, you're reading.

I'm not surprised. I knew you would come here with something brilliant.

I'm not thinking about sex.

I'm on hold.

I'm pretty excited.

I'm really not interested in buying today, okay?

I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm responsible for whoever sits in my seat.

I'm selling cars.

I'm selling cars.

I'm so glad.

I'm so pleased.

I'm so sorry about that. All right, where were we?

I'm so sorry...

I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

I'm sorry that you hate the character so much.

I'm sorry to bother you with this.

I'm sorry, I know this sounds strange. I just...

I'm sorry, I'm running a little late.

I'm sorry, please.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm still on hold, Larry. How are we doing on time?

I'm sure he'd appreciate an apology.

I'm sure it's nothing, and you could just tell me if

I'm sure there's some Korean anti Semites.

I'm sure we would all like to have water.

I'm sure you had something to do with this, you rotten bastard!

I'm taking the clothes to the hotel.

I'm talking about the arm over the neck. You're busted.

I'm talking about the little knee game with Shelley.

I'm talking about the ticket you took from my office.

I'm talking to somebody. I'll meet you outside.

I'm telling you, soon it's going to be Casual Monday.

I'm the "Cobb" of Cobb salad.

I'm the chairman of this... You know what Groat's syndrome is?

I'm the co creator of the show.

I'm the guy who goes around telling people...

I'm the schmuck's brother in law.

I'm tired. I'm sorry.

I'm with a customer, you see I'm with somebody?

I've always thought this shelf was loose.

I've been assured. So, watch out, bald people.

I've been giving this thing some thought, you know?

I've been to a lot of different people. They all kind of tell me the same thing

I've been to doctors and chiropractors and healers...

I've been working on my letter, too...

I've checked all over the house...

I've come all this way.

I've decided that this is my favorite restaurant

I've got a friend, a pretty good friend, Michael Halbreich, who works there.

I've got a terrific penis. I could donate a penis.

I've got good spleen, excellent spleen.

I've got his letter to write.

I've got ideas, but I choose not to carry them out.

I've got some...

I've got these tapes I'd like to give to Shaquille O'Neal. Is that possible?

I've got three kids in there scared to death...

I've got to stay like this now, for the rest of the day?

I've had fresh apples, never had a fresh g****.

I've had this jacket since I started doing, since Seinfeld.

I've kind of gotta take off, I'll see you soon.

I've lost enthusiasm for it.

I've never been to a bris, but I know what it is.

I've never felt better in my entire life.

I've never had a fresh cherry, never had a fresh pear.

I've never had a meeting in my house or in my office.

I've never had a tilting need.

I've never heard of it. What is it called?

I've never seen that here before, it's very rare.

I've never thought about...

Idiot, what did you do?

If he tells you it's nothing to worry about, you're fine.

If I stopped at 12 pumps, I would tell my wife.

If I wanted to do that for one day...

If I was handicapped, I'd want people to tell me...

If I was playing checkers, I'd have told him I was playing checkers.

If I'm closing in on something, price, always come to you.

If it isn't Jeffrey's messenger boy.

If not for the environment, then we're fighting to get money...

If she does, you should enroll her at some kind of school for gifted children.

If the lot's full, why do they even let you go in?

If we could do it in Santa Monica.

If we got divorced tomorrow, she'd have nothing to say.

If we miss this. This is a row of pines.

If we were to continue, where would we even go at this point?

If you can fix my neck, I'll give you $5,000.

If you change "Mr. " to "Monsieur," say, "Monsieur Spleen"...

If you come back on a Monday or a Tuesday...

If you could do it for me.

If you could hurry, that would be great...

If you don't feel like you've done anything wrong...

If you don't like this, you should come by on Naked Tuesdays.

If you had water, would you want me to tell you not to bring it in?

If you just want to check it out.

If you like it, we'll go back and write an offer.

If you pop in The Contest, I'll let bygones be bygones...

If you sit down for maybe a week, you'll be back to full strength.

If you want shrimp, take your $475 million, go buy a fucking shrimp boat.

If you were having an affair, you'd probably lie about it, wouldn't you?

If you would agree to host the talent show.

In a decent game.

In case you wanna get in touch with me for some reason.

In English, "better" doesn't mean better, completely better. I don't need a...

In fact the series could be called Aren't you Evelyn?

In front of other people...

In my day, nobody got divorced.

In other words, you play an actor...

In raising some consciousness about Groat's.

In the matter of Larry David, the record reflect the presence of Mr. David.

In the middle of the night, he went downstairs...

In this cubicle...

Instead of just telling him he's playing golf...

Is a young lady who comes to us from Fullerton, California.

Is anybody in here?

Is it a custom in Japan...

Is it common in Japan for a man to send another man orchids?

Is it four now? Time flies when you're having fun.

Is it like a woman? Can you do it on the phone?

Is it possible to find these girls and maybe talk to their parents?

Is it smoke? What comes out of your mouth in cold water?

Is it your name? No, it's mine. "Chris Darga."

Is now boarding rows 16 through 30.

Is now boarding rows one through 15.

Is that a cashmere sweater? This guy had the same one.

Is that bad? I don't have to eat these two shrimp.

Is that how you say hello?

Is that it? "Hey, big ass."

Is that it's great...

Is that right?

Is that supposed to help? "Sorry"?

Is that the same woman who just told me to get rid of the water?

Is the plane filled up?

Is there one person at this table who can eat cauliflower?

Is there somebody else who could help me with this car?

Is this a gag? 'Cause my character goes to a masseuse...

Is this the Beverly Center, this thing?

Is this what you had in mind? You like this, you dick?

Is this what you'll do for the rest of your life...

Is your assistant going out with anybody?

Isn't this weird, coming home to your new house?

It could be anything you want. Like, if you would draw something.

It could really work with her.

It didn't come with a body.

It doesn't matter, you need something to get out.

It feels strange, that's all.

It goes through, in front of your other tire. Your back tire.

It just seems that trouble seems to be following you.

It just won't mean anything to you, you have too much money.

It looks like you've put on a couple of pounds.

It makes me sick to my stomach.

It makes no sense, unless you're trying to get laid.

It means that I'm just a truthful person who would tell you the truth about anything.

It means that I'm just a truthful person who would tell you the truth about anything.

It might have been funny a week ago, but enough is enough.

It must have come up somehow, I don't know.

It says "14 THOR" on the license plate.

It seems like a huge waste of time.

It seems like you should just go and get the drink at the restaurant, no?

It seems silly to put a napkin on an old pair of pants.

It took about 45 minutes for that, didn't it?

It took me a long time to get this. No, not right now!

It took me six months to even put a move on you.

It was a stupid thing, it was an accident.

It was a whole big thing, I got the hell out of there and I told her:

It was an accident.

It was an accident.

It was an accident.

It was depressing to see him like that.

It was good.

It was in my blood, yeah. I mean, it takes years to be a car salesman.

It was invented in 1937...

It was like a joke for their benefit.

It was sort of Elvira ish. She looked like Elvira.

It was too cold, sorry.

It was very impressive.

It was your grandfather's salad!

It wasn't the Drake Hotel in Chicago?

It went well, I think...

It would be great if you and Cheryl would like to play...

It would just be more fun to go someplace else.

It'll be just a few hours of hanging out, having a drink.

It'll only take a second, take quick look at it.

It's 45 minutes past the cutoff.

It's a bereavement thing, my mother's death.

It's a big mountain of a guy.

It's a country in Europe, and they don't like to fight.

It's a couple minutes. You don't mind, do you?

It's a crowd pleaser. "Fuck" is a crowd pleaser

It's a devastating illness...

It's a different atmosphere. You know what...

It's a little easier. I can focus on it a little better.

It's a little strange.

It's a long story.

It's a movie too, isn't it?

It's a nervous system syndrome...

It's a partial tear at best.

It's a red station wagon, it's in front, you can't miss it.

It's a syndrome. I mean, and it affects kids and adults...

It's a syndrome. I mean, and it affects kids and adults...

It's a thick base, it's a thick wheel base.

It's a threat. How far can you take these tricks?

It's a word you use when somebody doesn't act manly.

It's about a motivational speaker.

It's actually the truth. I'm not even joking.

It's all right, we have time. We got up early enough.

It's almost worse than confronting a mourner.

It's amazing that you came in here today. It could really help me out.

It's an olfactory nightmare in that men's room.

It's awful.

It's beautiful out here.

It's beautiful out here.

It's being Groat's active.

It's big.

It's called a Swiss Army Knife.

It's called Siegfried Idyll...

It's easy for you to say, I'm a shrink person.

It's from the three of us.

It's getting involved, you know, in Groat's.

It's gonna take us to Moho for dinner at the W Hotel.

It's good to be home.

It's idiots like you that cause this whole society to be going crazy with violence.

It's insane.

It's just a way to... It's a shorthand.

It's just beautiful.

It's just beautifully shot.

It's just like, if you were on five cups of coffee...

It's just so unbelievable.

It's just that you got shy asshole confusion, my friend.

It's just too much of a headache and I'm utterly exhausted, okay?

It's just tough to branch out with that.

It's just, so many people do what you just did...

It's kind of a lot easier for me...

It's kind of a social contract you enter when you open that door.

It's kind of kinky.

It's kind of long.

It's like you're driving a bus up there.

It's like, I like lobster. Do I go around pushing lobster on people?

It's like, not only do you have to worship him...

It's my birthday.

It's never in my office, or my house.

It's not a big deal, all you got to do is you show up...

It's not a done deal or anything. I don't even know

It's not a good place for bald people out there.

It's not an assassination attempt, for Christ's sake.

It's not an incredibly noble experiment, was it?

It's not awkward, there's no secrets.

It's not even subtle, it's ridiculous. Thank you.

It's not fine. What the hell is the matter with you?

It's not fine. You know what, time to go, how about that?

It's not in my family, but I'm trying to break the mold.

It's not just the giving money.

It's not out of balance because you were driving and I was waiting.

It's not really big, it's a good size.

It's not the office, I'm very low maintenance.

It's not worse, pricks and cunts, they're equal.

It's okay, I'm fine. It's fine.

It's only an hour flight.

It's pretty obvious when there's two shrimp.

It's probably just a house sound or something.

It's some celebrity auction.

It's such a great idea. It's a great idea.

It's such nonsense, isn't it? What are you gonna do?

It's the rules. The sign says, "No food or drink in the theater."

It's the same drink, what's the difference where you have it?

It's too awkward and horrible to do those stop and chats.

It's too bad. It was a great idea.

It's touching what you tell me. It seems to me there was an indication...

It's ugly, mommy!

It's unfortunate, I'm sorry.

It's very exciting, you're gonna love it.

It's what's gone on after that's been the problem, but

It's wonderful for you, we resent the recruitment.

It's your daughter, too, you know.

It's, like, maybe 35, 40, 50 at the most, but 100?

It's, you know, I'm applying for a fellowship.

Jabroni, open the window.

Jabroni, open the window.

Jackass.

Jason, I don't...

Jeff, darling.

Jesus Christ, slow down.

Jesus Christ, so, he cut it, he slashed the tire.

Jesus Christ, so, he cut it, he slashed the tire.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus, am I fat!

Jesus, get him! He can't swim!

Jesus!

**** buy, like, 85%% of the sun block that's sold in this country, don't you think?

Jill, how old is he now?

Judaism? Where are you?

Judy, I got Judy.

Judy.

Julia Louis Dreyfus called.

Julia Louis Dreyfus invited us to play poker.

Just by you agreeing to have lunch with them.

Just divorce yourself from the whole thing until there's a script in front of you, okay?

Just for a day.

Just get me the fucking head, all right?

Just go.

Just grab my stuff.

Just have him get it all over his face...

Just in case things start to go off again.

Just leave them there. We'll make sure he gets them.

Just like you and Cheryl planned, your little conspiracy.

Just look at this thing on my back.

Just move a little bit?

Just say is it something or nothing, or, you know.

Just stop it.

Just throw them off.

Just to kind of have a little refresher course...

Just too enthusiastic, and I miss the old Larry.

Just you and me?

Just, like, leftovers?

Just, you know, I think for your own good, for your own sanity.

Keep those doggies rolling

Khakis and a blue blazer would be wonderful.

Kim nails or Kim psychic?

Kind of an odd thing. I had a chance to go back and look at your file...

Kiss that therapist goodbye.

Knowing that you want to leave to eat.

Ladies and gentlemen, AirWest flight 1459 to Monterey, California...

Ladies and gentlemen, AirWest flight 1459 to Monterey...

Ladies and gentlemen, Melanie Tyler.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Los Angeles Lakers.

Larry and I do a little bit sometimes where he acts like he's punching me...

Larry David just walked in.

Larry David, Jay Schneider.

Larry David, nice to meet you.

Larry David, Shaquille O'Neal. He's got something he wants to say to you.

Larry David!

Larry got Allan's order, and Allan, Larry's.

Larry had to change his outfit...

Larry just walked in, I can't wait to tell him. Okay, bye.

Larry lent Barry $5,000.

Larry San, wait a minute, you said better.

Larry was the last person to see him alive.

Larry, can I have a word with you for a second?

Larry, come on.

Larry, did you love it?

Larry, don't you say goodnight?

Larry, everybody steals shrimp, and everybody lies about it.

Larry, give her your credit card.

Larry, how you doing?

Larry, how's it going?

Larry, I'm glad I caught up to you. Housekeeper said you'd be down here.

Larry, I'm so glad you were able to make it.

Larry, isn't that a good example...

Larry, isn't that a good example...

Larry, Jeremy has something he wants to ask you.

Larry, no.

Larry, no. Listen, I have got to get going.

Larry, probably not, right?

Larry, that's not the point.

Larry, we've been down this aisle.

Larry, what happened with that lunch? What did you do?

Larry, would you like to help us stuff some envelopes?

Larry, you guys are all made up and everything?

Larry, you remember my cousin, Doug, from the party, Thursday?

Larry!

Larry!

Larry! I'm so glad I caught you at home.

Larry?

Larry?

Larry?

Larry?

Larry?

Larry? Is everything okay?

Larry.

Larry. Gotta quit meeting like this.

Last time, she was dead on.

Leave.

Let go of him!

Let me ask you a question.

Let me ask you a question.

Let me ask you something.

Let me get it. I got a Swiss Army Knife. I could get that.

Let me just ask you something, what is the shrimp business?

Let me just finish.

Let me see that.

Let me tell you something.

Let me tell you why I'm bringing this up.

Let's accomplish that, let's have a meeting, at my office.

Let's get him up, I'll hold the leg, get him up. Get him up.

Let's go out to lunch, let's talk about this, 'cause we need a game plan.

Let's just stop and get out and take a look.

Let's play it. Two card Guts or three card Guts?

Let's see. It might stand for "certified deposit".

Let's sit down and just kick around, just kick around some ideas.

Let's start by doing what we set out to do.

Let's talk about the Jason Alexander thing.

Let's try.

Let's... What were we saying? We were talking about what?

Like a professional, someone who's a professional...

Like it was some sort of message from God that I shouldn't do this.

Like sexual.

Like the president.

Like, imagine the worst moment a person can walk in on somebody.

Like, sick things going on, is that what you think?

Listen, and I'll tell you. Sammy's shelf has been on my mind.

Listen, Doc, you know what? I'm sick and tired of you.

Listen, I can't go to the Laker game tonight.

Listen, I have a limo that's gonna pick us up.

Listen, I think we should just go without him.

Listen, if you change your mind, let me know, okay?

Listen, it's good to see you. Stay feeling good, I feel great too.

Listen, Larry San...

Listen, put a sock in it.

Listen, Richard Lewis wants me to manage him.

Listen, thank you for coming.

Listen, the two of you will take this.

Listen, we're gonna see you tonight at the house, right?

Lobster and religion, I really don't see the similarities.

Look at that girl come out, look.

Look at the size of this place.

Look at the size, why'd you get a stretch limo? It's gigantic.

Look at this shit.

Look at this.

Look at this.

Look what's happening with your wife.

Look, can we call you back tomorrow?

Look, get the hell... Leave. And by the way...

Look, Larry, you got your food, I got my food.

Look, sir, I'm sorry, thank you.

Look, what is this? This is what?

Lord, I don't like this at all.

Love you to come.

Made out to me for $5,000.

Make a call, have a cup of coffee.

Make it funny, would be great, if you could make it funny.

Makes you, gives you a little ego boost.

Man, how you doing? It's great to see you.

Man, I mean, the guy's trying to relax like you.

Maury.

Maybe about 25 minutes, half hour.

Maybe after we hang everything up...

Maybe Cheryl wanted to get laid.

Maybe he's upset. Maybe, you know, he's tired.

Maybe I am a misogynist. Maybe I like to beat my wife a little bit.

Maybe I can play nine. Hold on.

Maybe I have a lime green T shirt like yours to put on, asshole.

Maybe I'll do it for two or three days. Who knows?

Maybe I'll make little fancy edges on the end.

Maybe I'll take her to the beach.

Maybe I'm just nice.

Maybe I'm nice. You have nice pussy confusion.

Maybe in retrospect, I should've said, "Pussy."

Maybe in retrospect, we should've taken the car service.

Maybe it would be better suited for somebody like Jason

Maybe pitch it to some networks or something.

Maybe she won't be able to afford the car if she takes it off the lot.

Maybe she's got the short haired version.

Maybe we should move up here. Think we should?

Maybe you are. Maybe, I'm learning things about you.

Maybe you should have given me some candy!

Maybe, I don't know.

Mazel tov. Mazel tov.

Meanwhile, the guy's insulted.

Melissa, come on.

Mention five items for "P"?

Michaelson really knows me. He knows a lot about me.

Mickey, listen, this is a complete misunderstanding.

Milk and coffee, who would've thought?

Miss CBS bigwig.

Mom, I wish you guys wouldn't leave so soon. I mean...

Mommy, somebody cut off Judy's head!

Mommy, that bum is in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!

Monsieur Clean, Monsieur Clean

More doctors should be like you.

Mr. California Closets over here all of a sudden?

Mr. David, I need your help in this.

Mr. David, you wish to be heard before I impose sentence on you?

Mr. David! Mr. David, over here.

Mr. Spleen gets rid of dirt and grime

Mr. Spleen will clean your whole house

Mr. Weiner, I don't think I should have anymore sake.

My best friend had a baby 15 years ago, and I was the godfather.

My daughter andlor Susie are not gonna know the difference.

My daughter has a huge doll collection. Her room is filled with dolls.

My father was an Italian fisherman.

My friend Cliff Cobb lied to me about the Cobb salad!

My God, I don't know who to hug.

My God, look at that, holy cow.

My God.

My God.

My God.

My God. You would not believe this article.

My gosh, is that the ocean?

My gosh, so what are you gonna do? Who's getting the ticket?

My gosh, that's wonderful. No, that is no problem.

My grandfather was a chef. He worked all over...

My lawyer's in Acapulco. I need an estate lawyer right away.

My manager has season tickets right next to the Laker bench.

My memories from the two times we had dinner together...

My mother did throw me against a brick wall...

My name is the only name up, as sole writing credits.

My office.

My parents are dead. You have a family.

My parents are trying to watch their show.

My parents came into town, and I hate to leave them by themselves.

My problem is...

My real question is, what were you whistling?

My receptionist called you and talked to you on the phone.

My wife and I are going out for Chinese food the other night.

My wife calls it Pepe. "Are we taking Pepe?"

My wife is concerned about a car being solid.

My word's not good enough for you?

Named after Dick Groat...

Never ever...

Never fails:

Never seen a pear. Never saw a pear outside of a fruit stand.

Next thing I knew, he said to me, "Listen, I got a lot of money.

Next time, I'll come to your office

Nice of you to come down here to apologize.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to see you. You cured?

No affair, sorry.

No eggs.

No means no!

No one appreciates Guts, what's the matter?

No one's gonna bid any money. It's gonna be embarrassing.

No problem, don't worry about it.

No question about it. It was Weiss, Dr. Weiss.

No they weren't subtle at all. There were no costumes.

No, actually, I'm a little curious about something...

No, because GE will not take responsibility for dumping the PCBs in the Hudson river.

No, because I've already spoken to you.

No, because they're gonna go to boot camp...

No, but this will be nice.

No, don't eat cookies, it's almost time for dinner.

No, he can't. But he'll do his best. I'll be right back.

No, I am not lying about this.

No, I apologize. I'm jumpy tonight.

No, I can't do it.

No, I completely...

No, I didn't check it, I thought it was... I did it right.

No, I didn't know what she was talking about.

No, I didn't say "big ass," I was just saying hello.

No, I don't think it works like that. I don't know.

No, I don't want to cancel it.

No, I don't want you to wait outside. I want you to hear this, okay?

No, I guess not.

No, I haven't met Larry, but I've heard a lot about you.

No, I know, Jeff, I know it's a great idea. That's not what the issue is.

No, I mean, 'cause you just got through saying...

No, I mean, I'm just shocked to see you here working.

No, I said that, so

No, I said, I don't mind them. I like your...

No, I think it's too late for that.

No, I'm fine.

No, I'm gonna give it to the limo driver.

No, I'm not going to quit just after one day, you know...

No, I'm out.

No, I'm telling you I'm done.

No, it doesn't have anything to do with being *******.

No, it was in Hollywood. You remember that...

No, it was really good.

No, it's more than that. For him, all I need to do is say hello

No, it's not funny.

No, it's not her.

No, it's not the way it's gonna be. I like the clothes.

No, it's not true. I'm not having an affair. I have never touched another woman.

No, it's true.

No, Larry!

No, not at all.

No, okay.

No, she'll never know the difference really.

No, Shelley, of course not!

No, sir, we were playing Cowboys and Indians.

No, that was just a joke because they were talking so much.

No, that wasn't a costume.

No, that's my wife.

No, that's okay, let's not do that.

No, the doctor that initially diagnosed it was named Groat.

No, there was no threat, except for the "trick" threat.

No, they're not. Can I help you with anything?

No, we can go back and forth.

No, we can't seem to agree on the locus equidistant of points.

No, what you're seeing as agitation is actually ebullience.

No, you are the guy who created Seinfeld.

No, you don't have to be entertaining. Just be yourself...

No, you don't owe me.

No, you just kind of started it, but it didn't really work.

No, you need to get dressed now.

No, you need to work.

No, you won't get the remake of From Here To Eternity.

No, you'll get excited, you're overworked, stop it.

No, you're a liar. You're a liar as a human being.

No, you're not out, sweetie, it's only two.

No, your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

No?

No?

No? Need a little assistance.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. It's stupid.

No. That was just an arm. I was just stretching my arm.

No...

Nobody want to hear that.

Nobody wants to have, apparently, anything to do with me...

Nobody wears a shirt like that unless they're gonna golf.

Not a penny, until, like, he's actually dead.

Not all better, but better.

Not complete.

Not even with your wife.

Not everybody knows your rules.

Not only are you a lousy Jew, but you're a lousy human being!

Nothing changes in 25 years with this guy. Same shit.

Nothing, I'm just sitting around. I'm not doing anything.

Nothing, she's a lunatic.

Notice how no one ever says goodbye anymore?

Now you know why I'm here.

Now, how the hell would I know what that means?

Now, is she a guest?

Now?

NRDC? What the hell is that?

Obsessed with asses? I am not obsessed with asses.

Obviously, a fine isn't going to do anything.

Occidental.

Of course I'm gonna work again!

Of course you can't. Are you expecting something from the city?

Of course you do

Of course you do.

Of course, I absolutely guarantee it if you follow my prescribed course.

Of course, I'll need a picture ID.

Of course.

Oh, dear. Yes?

Oh, God, the driver. Shit, I completely forgot.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God, all right, CBS.

Oh, my God, no.

Oh, my God, this is gorgeous.

Oh, my God, you guys...

Oh, my God, you're gonna give me another heart attack.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I gotta call you back

Oh, my God. My wife's good friend was the art director on that.

Oh, my gosh, that would be wonderful.

Oh, my gosh. This is so bizarre.

Oh, yeah, I'm busted

Ohio State, that's a college with an "O."

Okay, "J," five, go!

Okay, $35.

Okay, all right, I'll meet you there.

Okay, all right. Good to talk to you.

Okay, Assy. And why is that shit all over you?

Okay, but you need to start writing.

Okay, do we have to talk about this right now?

Okay, great, thank you so much.

Okay, here's the thing.

Okay, I got your point.

Okay, I know what this is about.

Okay, I think I'll have the grilled salmon.

Okay, I want to get it reinstated. No, she had no authorization to do that.

Okay, I'll be good, I promise.

Okay, I'll get on that right now.

Okay, I'll tell you what. I got a little proposition for you.

Okay, it's his not being a victim of circumstance, guys...

Okay, let me just...

Okay, listen, I've got "Pendant, Porsche, Popeye...

Okay, listen, we have to talk about how much to offer.

Okay, my favorite Seinfeld episode was The Contest.

Okay, our next performer...

Okay, peanuts come from the ground or something.

Okay, quiet.

Okay, see you next week, be well.

Okay, so for instance...

Okay, tell me if I got this right.

Okay, thank you.

Okay, thanks a lot, bye bye, now.

Okay, that's three tenths of a mile, right there.

Okay, the doctor just wants to know how you're feeling.

Okay, the GTS is "guaranteed tremendous safety."

Okay, this is mine?

Okay, yeah, ask her, and then you could also get to know him.

Okay, you can give me the ticket.

Okay, you got a date. Now, what do I need to bring?

Okay, you know what? I don't know. I'll go and see if it's there.

Okay, you know, your flight won't leave for another hour...

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Cobb salad.

Okay. Hi. Yes, AirWest?

Okay. I'll give him a fork, I'll be right back.

Okay. I'm gonna drive. Thank you.

On behalf of the women at this table, and myself, I am offended by that.

On the Cobb salad.

Once again for all AirWest passengers, flight 1459 to Monterey...

Once in a while, I'm sure I'll have a problem...

One game, the first game, and you fuck the whole thing up!

One of the most beautiful bracelets I've made, I have to say.

One of the reporters thinks that...

One of the vanilla bullshit things.

One of those books where each person does a page.

One second, Mom. Drop them down there.

Only you could have a bad time in Hawaii.

Or "Hey, Assy," or "Hey, I know your ass."

Or a poem, or something you can share.

Or however long I want to do it. I just want to get it out of my system...

Or I'm Not Evelyn. Something like that.

Or maybe she could say I hate a couple of people, but that's it.

Orchids to another man?

Others, they swim the English Channel.

Our last house didn't make any sounds.

Our time is up.

Out Of Production, OOP, okay? Not coming back.

Paging Dr. Bender. Paging Dr. Bender.

Pardon me for suggesting this, but it seems like you're walking out with our silverware.

Part 1 is tonight, part 2 is tomorrow night.

Particularly west of the river, north a little, it's unbelievable.

Peanut butter is a dairy product.

People always see her as Elaine. They just want her to do Elaine.

People come to you with their hands out, you can't say no?

People like you walking around like people like me.

People live together for years and years...

People who call themselves healers.

People, they think about it and they're, you know...

Perhaps not.

Please excuse me to the ladies' room. Larry, why don't you have a seat here?

Please welcome Miss Melanie Tyler...

Please, buy one, please?

Please, thank you.

Please, we're playing poker here.

Please, whatever you need, I'll donate anything you want.

Postman! Come here! Tell the neighborhood!

President Tyler.

Pretty, pretty good.

Pretty, pretty, pretty...

Prius? That's ours, that's easy.

Probate and that kind of stuff? I gotta make a change right away...

Put it wherever you want to put it. It's fine with me.

Put your tongue to the top of your...

Putt it.

Quarter pound of swiss and a half pound of turkey.

Quick cup of decaf?

Quiet, loser.

Quiet!

Rawhide!

Really rude.

Really, that's wonderful.

Really, this is all he can do, between you and me.

Really?

Really?

Really? Good, thank you.

Really? I got a condition. I really need to have this.

Really? So am I. They make the best husbands.

Really? Well

Recently, I was skiing with my family in Jackson Hole.

Recently, I was skiing with my family in Jackson Hole.

Relax by the beach

Remember earlier today you said that you owed me one?

Reynolds and McKay, he's great.

Richard Lewis is in your office.

Ridiculous.

Right here, in the hall.

Right now? Listen, I have an appointment.

Right, Al? I ordered Chinese food the other night...

Right, and it turned into a big thing and he stomped out of the meeting...

Right, okay, yeah. I'd like to take a look at it, okay?

Right, Schneider, yeah.

Right, the psychic. How did it go?

Right, they had no costumes, and for some reason, that really upset him.

Right, when they lose, which is very seldom.

Right, you want the short haired Judy head?

Right. Amazon.

Roll over, are you kidding? Look at this thing.

Rolling, rolling, rolling

Room service was late with my food. What do you want?

Santa Barbara.

Saving you from this hedonist giving you advice.

Say, would you like to make another deal on that one?

See what's up.

See you in the new house.

See, if this were yours, it would say "Fucking Douchebag."

Seriously.

Settle down? Are we settled down, do you think?

Seven years ago, I was in Paris, and I remember it exactly

Sexual blackmail.

Shaquille O'Neal.

She also told Cheryl I was gonna have a bad time in Hawaii...

She did take it seriously, I'm taking it seriously, too.

She did. I don't want any, but perhaps you'd like an espresso?

She didn't say anything about my health, right?

She does have the exact same problem with Elaine.

She has a very high tolerance for pain, this woman, don't worry about it.

She is a collector's item. We can't find another one like this.

She looks like Judy. She looks Swiss? All right.

She looks Swiss.

She plays tennis, she won't play golf. I can't play tennis because of my neck.

She pump 32 times, then...

She said it looked good earlier. She liked it.

She said that she wants to stop off for a drink first.

She said that you're having an affair with a woman with long, red hair...

She says, "Do you want me to finish you off?"

She told Cheryl that I was gonna get a hole in one in golf...

She told me in the restaurant, you propositioned her.

She told you what? What did she tell you? That's insane!

She wants to discuss this in person.

She woke up in the morning and she heard this beautiful music...

She won't notice. Hasn't played with it in a long time.

She wouldn't know what to think, yeah.

She'll eat me alive.

She'll talk to you in person.

She's already at Merman. She is gifted, she's highly gifted.

She's American? I thought you said her name was Kim.

She's American.

She's gonna be there?

She's gonna love it, I bet.

She's got a million dolls. She's won't notice anything.

She's got an appointment with...

She's got some...

She's got the body. You're fine.

She's great, do you want her number?

She's great. Yeah.

She's in this poker game...

She's just some person that wouldn't let me bring it in.

She's not gonna find out, don't worry about it.

She's not gonna have any problem with this?

She's not Korean

She's talking to Anne Michaelson, Lane Michaelson's wife.

She's very passionate about her religion.

Shelley, no. That was...

Shelley, you don't...

Shelley?

Shelley. Hi, it's Larry.

Shelley's not here.

Shit, you know...

Shit.

Shit.

Shoes in here.

Should I go to Lincoln?

Should we buy him dinner? I don't know what to do

Shrimp are great, but I hate ordering the same thing.

Since when is blue and black no good?

Sir, I'm bald, I'm not offended.

Sir, please get to the back of the line right now, thank you.

Sir, you'll have every opportunity to present your case to Judge Katz.

Sir?

Sit down, have a big fucking meal in the hotel.

Sitting around?

Situations like that are gonna come up on the show.

Skimpy, skimpy suit, you see that?

So fast?

So find out where he is. He might be in a hospital.

So glad you could make it to see it. Go get a seat.

So he can get a nice blowjob.

So he wouldn't have to eat with his hands and get it all over his face and his clothing.

So he wouldn't have to eat with his hands...

So I didn't want Cliff to hear that I'm playing golf.

So I don't know.

So I got to go downstairs.

So I guess we probably won't be invited back...

So I guess we'll just run to the gate... Maybe he's already in our seat.

So I say, "It's not Larry David's, it's mine."

So I wouldn't have to pay the money? That's ridiculous.

So I'll maybe call you next week?

So I'm applying for a fellowship at the LA County Museum of Art and...

So it had nothing to do with the thong?

So just take it easy and we'll call you when we're ready. Thanks.

So let's just walk away from this.

So now that you're all part of the ABC family...

So please call them. And Shelley Cobb called.

So she was kind of in a little bit of costume there.

So start packing up 'cause you're moving out.

So sudden, unexpected.

So that we can just watch our show?

So that you can see where you've been.

So that's how friends joke around. One friend jokes with the other friend.

So that's it, it's all over at HBO.

So they had no costumes?

So they'll have more members and more money coming in.

So tomorrow night, you guys want to go to dinner before part two?

So we miss a couple of calls, big deal.

So we're having a meeting.

So we're in the lobby and we're talking to him...

So what are you gonna do now?

So what do you do, you lie down on a blanket, and...

So what do you know about this page?

So what happened? Are you out of there?

So what?

So what? So you'd rather have them toilet paper your house?

So what? You get like an hour dispensation for good news.

So what's the difference?

So where you from?

So you have plenty of time. We're not even boarding that yet...

So you throw in a "fuck," you double your laughs.

So, can I ask you something?

So, have you ever done one of these pages?

So, he's wearing this skimpy kind of Speedo bathing suit...

So, how do you intend to pay?

So, I got a meeting set up for you at ABC.

So, I got the orchids.

So, I knew I would stop by for the sunglasses and I...

So, I'm a schmuck for being in a masturbation contest?

So, I'm gonna go in over there. I'm not here.

So, I'm just thrilled about this. I just think that this is grand.

So, I'm not gonna be around this weekend...

So, I'm really happy with my new sneakers.

So, if I could pick it up around Wednesday.

So, in the last three hours, you've given away $10,000.

So, Larry, how come you guys didn't take the show to NBC...

So, make sure that you are clear on Monday...

So, my treat.

So, now you feel all these things that were upsetting you...

So, now you're going to be a car salesman?

So, that is an example, don't you think?

So, that is the absolute best.

So, the drive part, that I did do.

So, there's dolls here, look at all these.

So, this is good, how's everything going?

So, what am I gonna do?

So, what are you doing on Saturday?

So, what do you expect this court to do for the public to understand...

So, what do you think of this whole orchid thing?

So, what's the big deal? Who's more insane?

So, without the "S," it's just "guaranteed tremendous."

So, you don't want me to start, is that it?

So, you know, I just wanted to tell you, you know, so I'm leaving...

So, you know, working in the deli, it was just...

So, you need to get dressed so we can go look at that house.

So, you told him that Groat's syndrome...

So...

Some fucking weirdo is trying to talk to me. I'll call you back.

Some of these dolls are scary.

Some people are just rude.

Some people, they run in marathons, they want to see if they can do that.

Some vanilla bullshit, latte cappa thing. Whatever you got, I don't care.

Some voodoo shit you're doing. Where is it?

Somebody came into your office and stole airline tickets to Monterey?

Somebody got me in a headlock. I am much worse.

Somebody paid $4,000 to go have lunch with me.

Somebody special comes in, a bigwig...

Somebody stole our tickets, they're on the plane.

Somebody's gonna get on the plane with our tickets.

Somebody's gonna get on the plane with our tickets.

Somebody's sitting in our seats on the plane.

Somehow you can do things without consequences.

Someone or something was saying, "Don't do this, be happy with who you are.

Something about my ass has made you download it...

Something changed my mind for me, makes me feel different now.

Something you do for all your patients? Send them orchids?

Something's not right here.

Sometimes you forget to say goodbye to people.

Sorry about this, they're taking a year up there.

Sorry about your mother.

Sorry I'm late.

Sorry, I just haven't found anything.

Sorry!

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. You'll come, Larry?

Sounds like you're having a problem with that of some kind.

South Africa. Beautiful. I've been there, too.

Spencer is too adorable. Totally adorable.

Stop it, Mr. Weiner.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it. I want you to call Jeff...

Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is!

Stop!

Stop.

Stop.

Stuff that you don't want her to repeat.

Stuff that's bad, she doesn't hold back. She'll tell you. Yeah.

Supposedly, I drove through some sort of red light or an intersection...

Sure they can, it's on the back of the ticket.

Sure.

Surprise!

Surprised, I'm gonna be...

Susie will know all about it.

Susie, what's going on?

Take a little nap.

Take all this. He's gonna need this in the hotel.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Take it easy. Where is it?

Take something from the minibar. I'll be up there.

Taking a leave of absence.

Talk further about casting and further, you know.

Tell her it was an accident, you didn't mean to interrupt.

Tell him you're a Scientologist or something.

Tell me if it's anything that I should be concerned about.

Tell me what you think of this, okay?

Tell me, I have been unpacking all day.

Tell me, what's in the engine here?

Tells people, "I love Richard but he's high maintenance"?

Temple can be quite grueling, as you well know.

Than just a separation type situation.

Thank you for inquiring.

Thank you for the lawyer. And I love your wife.

Thank you for your time...

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. It'll be worth it.

Thank you very much

Thank you very much, thank you.

Thank you very much. How are you?

Thank you very much. Son of a bitch.

Thank you, I'd appreciate it.

Thank you, that'll be great. Bob's birthday is on Saturday.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I don't tuck in that much. Golf makes me tuck in.

Thanks for coming out.

Thanks for coming you guys, it was great to see you.

Thanks for switching appointments with me.

Thanks for the ride.

Thanks.

Thanks. It works at the galleries, you know.

That "my grandfather invented the Cobb salad"!

That a little girl has a vivid imagination? She's extremely gifted.

That being a Christian isn't a wonderful thing?

That come out from... Can I help you with that?

That didn't belong to him, and gave it back to me.

That didn't... Oh, no, Shelley.

That hangs out by the gas station?

That happened to me last week, I was skiing.

That is a reason to move, when you can't get rid of it.

That is just awful.

That is ridiculous. You didn't want to lose a Jew.

That is such a funny message.

That kind of language is not allowed in a game...

That makes people extremely excited and nervous.

That man just brought back your order. This is it, I'm so sorry that happened.

That means I am not legally allowed to go back on the plane.

That means we just dress like we would at home.

That might be for me, one second.

That might interest you.

That psychic today.

That seems easy enough.

That son of a bitch stole that salad from my grandfather.

That sounds good, I'd like to get that number.

That the restaurateur had toward me because I ran into him on the street...

That they sometimes they roll over rather easily.

That they won't let him do anything else.

That they're sitting around.

That was a nice drive, I have to say.

That was a water bottle in my pants.

That was kind of rude.

That was not rude. I don't have to do a stop and chat.

That was really a good piece of work there.

That was so nice of you to do that.

That was the point of the baptism, but you came and blew it.

That whole decision process of picking out an outfit.

That woman didn't give me the bracelet, so I had to come up with something.

That would be a help.

That would not be good, actually.

That would've been the better thing to do, right?

That you can have a life with Groat's syndrome...

That you have to lose a patient because of the job that you did.

That you were gonna do what you wanted, when you wanted...

That you will never, ever do this again.

That you're having an affair.

That you're kind of a victim of your own talents and skills...

That'd get you in by about 2:00, and that should work for you.

That's a good name for the series.

That's a great present. He'll be on his back for two months.

That's a hate crime.

That's a hate crime. We're a set, we're a group.

That's a look you're cultivating to be fashionable...

That's a sad story. Excuse me.

That's amazing, she's almost magical.

That's assumed.

That's cashmere?

That's different, though.

That's Dr. Wiggins, that's who he was talking about.

That's fine.

That's funny, that's not schmucky.

That's gonna be a lot worse in two days.

That's gonna come up. I would love to be able to come back.

That's good, did you call Jason?

That's good, I'm managed by a bigwig.

That's great, I had to change a tire. And then, look at this.

That's great, I wish I was in a poker game.

That's great.

That's his night?

That's how the Cobb salad was born.

That's impossible!

That's it, Larry, you're fired.

That's it! What is the point of the drink? I am missing the point.

That's just great, Larry, you got your money back.

That's Larry David, he created Seinfeld.

That's my brother's name.

That's my jacket, it looks really good on you.

That's my step brother's name, Apheon.

That's not a reason to move.

That's not accomplished, let's accomplish it.

That's not gonna fly.

That's not my fault, I did what I was supposed to do.

That's not so.

That's okay, we got time.

That's okay.

That's one of the reasons that, you know, we were late.

That's pretty funny.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty.

That's really nice of you.

That's really what I should've done.

That's ridiculous. Plus, if you get up, don't you think he'll see you then?

That's ridiculous. You know how much I paid for that dinner?

That's right, the whole thing's a big phony boloney.

That's right. I hold onto these things, man.

That's so unacceptable, that's not okay.

That's so untrue, no, I'm not a deviant.

That's something new, Larry.

That's something you need to think about, all right?

That's the continental United States.

That's the direction we're heading. It's gonna be a sad state of affairs.

That's the head.

That's the plan...

That's true.

That's what he's doing now, thanks to your help.

That's what I'm calling about.

That's what I'm saying, I can't... You cannot help me.

That's what I'm telling him

That's why he gets paid, he sits there and waits. It's not a bad job

That's why I'm not throwing it back your way.

That's why I've never done anything even remotely kinky...

That's your fault.

That's your top priority in a house.

That's, yeah, it's..

Thataway, that's it, don't be shy. Thank you very much, thank you.

The actress has trouble getting work.

The beach is lovely this time of year.

The big, baggy clothes, covered in snow, blah, blah, blah...

The Cobb salad, my friend, was invented in 1937...

The condition was, when his dad passed away...

The Contest? I got it, you want The Contest?

The craziest thing I've done: I've been on the bottom.

The description is exactly the same as what you're saying.

The driving is what we're talking about.

The Elvira thing

The estate lawyer, he's gonna handle my estate when I die...

The first screening for... And all my friends.

The game is Guts.

The guy took our shrimp.

The guy who runs it up there, Allan Wasserman.

The guy's coming with my car...

The guy's license is "14 THOR."

The implication for your imaginary stepfather?

The important thing is we didn't meet.

The kid is home hysterical...

The man's an artist.

The message that you changed from your office?

The movie, it's...

The Natural Resources Defense Council.

The numbers... 30 Below. Instead of spelling that out?

The one that I cut?

The only question now is, do I tell Richard Lewis?

The only thing is that my older kid has a pinkeye, so...

The other thing is that Jason will be working with us as well.

The owner, Bob Cobb, was hungry one night.

The point is that she told me this whole thing about you having an affair.

The point is, somebody is in our seats, see?

The problem, quite honestly, has been you, Larry.

The psychic told his wife he would hit a hole in one, and he did.

The psycho meter's back on now.

The question is, what do we do now? When do we go back in?

The recap is very hard. Your recap is two, three months, isn't it?

The short hair, it's very becoming I think, you know?

The shrimp mysteriously disappeared.

The thing that I love about it is that, you know, this does happen to me.

The ticket right here, to Monterey.

The triangles and the t****zoids and all of that.

The two of us, doing this together?

The W Hotel.

The waiter threw the water at him. I didn't...

The whole ABC deal could go down the drain. It really could.

The whole body does better when there's no blockages anywhere.

The whole process is different if you're just a writer for hire...

The whole world knows peanut butter is a dairy product.

The worst that can happen is you'll fly to Mexico with him...

The writing wasn't happening?

The yutz, the idiot.

Then fine, go your merry way.

Then he calls me a bald turd.

Then he suggested one, and I thought it was too close to him...

Then how do I know that this just isn't a lie?

Then how do I know that this just isn't a lie?

Then she puts her hand under the sheets and starts pumping away.

Then we can stay all night, do whatever we want.

Then we have to find a parking space when we get to the airport.

Then we wouldn't miss the baptism.

Then why even go to the restaurant? If it isn't socializing, then why go there?

Then why the hell you dress that way?

Then you'll think that the commercial was...

Then you're defeating the purpose, aren't you?

There are a lot of things about you I don't know.

There are the Davids.

There isn't gonna be any bracelet. No bracelet, I know what's going on.

There it is. I told you. Don't cash it for week.

There she is, right there, on the right.

There they are.

There was a mix up at a Chinese takeout restaurant.

There was this creepy guy and he was watching me...

There you go.

There you go.

There's a confusion here, a language confusion.

There's a driver outside.

There's a guy, there's a professional wrestler...

There's a little more to it than that

There's a lot to do while waiting but nothing while driving.

There's my jacket, there's the guy you gave my jacket to!

There's no "Pago Pago" and "provolone" on this list...

There's no message.

There's no misunderstanding that I saw him beating you in your car.

There's no misunderstanding.

There's no plan, you go in and quit. What are you gonna do?

There's no spaces.

There's no such thing as an effeminate heterosexual.

There's no swing. I'm a hammock.

There's no way that sweater's 100% cashmere.

There's shrimp and...

There's some rice in there. But I didn't touch any of the shrimp.

There's the lot.

There's the real estate agent.

These are all people who will demonstrate...

These are all people, by the way, with Groat's syndrome.

They all see me as George.

They are highly motivated sellers. I think this one's a slam dunk.

They bought another house. So they are so ready to move.

They can't feel your tension, okay?

They cut the whole thing off, there's no bottom.

They didn't wear it that low, and she's really...

They don't care about pollution, and we're members!

They don't care about the environment...

They don't even...

They got a mental asylum a couple of blocks away.

They got to approve your outfit. I listened to her.

They gotta know all the stuff. He can look at it and go:

They gotta ruin everything.

They grow so fast, it's amazing. You have them and it's instant.

They have a close up of you. They have it in slow motion.

They have, "Larry David took out Shaquille O'Neal."

They just put me on hold.

They just want more roads, so there will be more cars...

They knocked on the door, they said, "Trick or treat"?

They let everybody do their fighting for them...

They line up putts, from the front, from the back.

They might take it up the ass for all I know in Japan.

They needed reassurance, I think, right?

They needed reassurance, that's completely what it was.

They never show up, they're not dependable.

They ruined the continental United States.

They said you tripped Shaquille O'Neal, now he'll be out for two months.

They say, "Trick or treat," I would advise you, give the treat.

They see the schmuck, so, I don't know.

They set us up. Did he tell you that I was buying his house?

They should put a muzzle on you. You're foaming at the mouth.

They shouldn't even give you a ticket.

They still trust me now, they would want me to do that?

They took away my tickets. The Lakers took away my tickets.

They walk around.

They want her to bring Evelyn back. She can't get away from it.

They were just fine with it, you know? Thanks.

They were just going around from house to house for candy.

They were just using Halloween to get candy!

They were so nice. Thank you for sending them.

They won't know the difference.

They'll both be so different from how they were on Seinfeld.

They'll put together different groups to go out there and do it.

They'll take you out there and get you so close to these animals...

They're all better.

They're connecting.

They're gonna get a supervisor.

They're gonna get a supervisor.

They're not horrible things that involve anything that's against the law.

They're not there.

They're pretty

They've already moved their stuff out, we're ready.

Things are, you know, things are good. I don't know, I've got this set up...

Think I don't know about this crap?

This bruise, there's a funny story here.

This case is here for sentencing.

This guy's converting.

This has been a joke, it's been too much.

This is a good look on you. I like it.

This is a good look on you. I like it.

This is a green light, absolutely.

This is a little awkward.

This is a nightmare.

This is all Larry's idea. He came to my office and pitched it...

This is as good as it gets.

This is awful. You can't let her do this.

This is beautiful.

This is great. Thank you for donating your time...

This is Hollywood. You got to apologize to this guy.

This is interesting. After years together, I'm just finding out...

This is just... Excuse my language, this is completely fucked.

This is Kathleen calling from Dr. Muriyama's office.

This is like for the Osmonds, this place.

This is my 28th therapist since 1969.

This is my first time I'll sit, and on the screen of a movie...

This is nice country, don't you think? Nice country up here.

This is not a meeting about the show. This is about having a meeting.

This is not the head. There's something wrong.

This is not the point.

This is really bizarre.

This is ridiculous.

This is sexual blackmail.

This is so... Look at this, with the leather, the whole thing here.

This is stiff. This could be record breaking.

This is very good, by the way, thank you. It's a cafe latte? What is that, milk?

This is, you know, we have a great manager. What can I tell you?

This isn't funny, so wipe the smile off your face.

This isn't our food.

This man happened to do a wonderful thing today.

This morning, you'll love this: I saw a whale breach.

This tennis elbow.

This weekend you're gonna see her, my treat.

This will be quick and painless. There you go.

This will cause me some great shame with my family.

This would go a long way to helping us secure that check...

This?

Thong, up his ass.

Those girls.

Those kids are really cute. You wanna do some?

Those millions of **** were taken to the concentration camps...

Threw eggs at his house and put...

Threw eggs at my house, papered my house with toilet paper...

Throwing them on the floor.

Till his food arrived, so that you could start eating.

To be honest with you, I like to make money.

To do a guest shot on our show, it would be great.

To go some place else and see something new.

To go to a Larry David lunch? 50 cents, you know, it's ridiculous.

To help around the house with, I'll help when I come home.

To say any of that stuff that I said to you about...

To the county museum, my letter of recommendation.

To their poker night.

To update your wardrobe a little, don't you think?

Today? No, I played yesterday.

Told you I didn't trust that Schneider.

Tom Clark, Larry David.

Tomorrow, I'm sitting around. I'm not doing anything.

Tomorrow, I'm sitting around. I'm not doing anything.

Tomorrow, if you want to drive to my office...

Took the head for God knows what reason...

Trade places, you can do it over here. I'm trying to get catch a plane, sir.

Trick or treat

Trick or treat.

Trick or treating at 40?

True.

Trust me on this one, please. You're gonna have to change. And quickly.

Two card Guts, two cards down.

Two, three months? That's just the crib.

Unless, you know... I was like, searching.

Very annoyed. We're not on good terms because of it.

Very excited.

Very happy, and the Prius is extremely happy with me.

Very important. Must put the napkin on.

Very nice, it's not crowded.

Very seldom. I mean, they have Shaq. Best player that ever lived. End of story.

Very soon

Wait a minute now, if I cure you, how would I know if you are cured or not?

Wait a minute, are you messing around with me?

Wait a second, do you trust this guy...

Wait a second, Rob, first of all..

Wait a second. What the hell are you wearing?

Wait, hold on.

Wait, that's...

Wait, what?

Wanna play tomorrow?

Was anything else stolen? Was anything else gone?

Was named after the shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Dick Groat?

Was she mad?

Wasn't she wonderful?

We already have tickets.

We already passed pines.

We already settled that.

We are boarding rows 16 through 30.

We are so happy to have your husband on board.

We attempted to have the meeting, but it was aborted.

We can go in tomorrow, zip in, zip out, boom.

We can stop and have a leisurely drink.

We can stop at... You know where I want to go?

We can talk about anything, they don't have any idea.

We can't go to NBC anymore...

We could do it here, we could do it in my office...

We could do it...

We could get some wood grain. What's so hard about getting wood grain?

We could stop and get a drink first.

We did attempt to have the meeting, and I did make the drive part.

We don't have plans, we don't wanna go to dinner with you.

We don't have to do it in a river. Do you have a tub in this house?

We don't hear "Camry," but that's what you should be hearing.

We don't need back and forth, we'll just do forth. Don't need back.

We don't need you.

We gonna hook up and talk about the show?

We got a big show to pitch for you, big show.

We had a singular plan.

We had this huge fight.

We have a house, and chairs.

We have patient doctor confidentiality.

We have vaulted ceilings.

We just come in, do our work. But we dress casually.

We just got here, we're not gonna go.

We made an agreement as men of honor.

We might not be able to pull it off.

We really don't have time. I was actually on the phone

We received a phone call that there was some domestic violence...

We said we'll meet at my office and have a meeting.

We saw into your car...

We should get a seat. Come on.

We should get back to Cheryl.

We should get... Jeff! Let's go.

We should go out for a drink, you guys.

We should go out. I'll talk to Cheryl.

We should've got the guy a dinner.

We split up. I'm living in a hotel.

We used to write together on Saturday Night Live.

We want to make this here. I want to make this here.

We were gonna have a meeting about the show.

We were supposed to have a meeting. And we haven't had a meeting.

We would miss the baptism, we would miss

We'll be in touch.

We'll do it here. This is good, this works.

We'll get into it.

We'll go by the house tomorrow, we'll check it out.

We'll go to ABC. I don't have to be at HBO.

We'll have to go to the front and tell her.

We'll just explain the situation. We don't have time, Larry, come on.

We'll just see about that.

We'll leave early, that's okay.

We'll still have a great night. Come on, I want to, we're gonna celebrate.

We'll take care of everything.

We'll talk about it.

We're all dying of thirst. What are you, the hallway monitor here?

We're an honest pack, between ourselves.

We're definitely going to part two.

We're having a little dispute.

We're having a screening of Harriet Beecher Stowe tonight.

We're having dessert. I'll give him two minutes, and get back the fork.

We're just going out to eat.

We're not buying a sweater, we're buying a house.

We're not getting married! You happy now, you son of a bitch?

We're on our way to the airport right now, our tickets have been stolen.

We're supporting this?

We're supposed to be on the tee in 10 minutes.

We're trying to go to a wedding, and we need to be there in a few hours

We've got to meet that woman in a few minutes.

We've gotta go there, sit down, have a donut, have a bagel.

We've had a few meetings and we're very close to having it happen.

We've lost our tickets.

Well, I understand your concerns.

Well, it would be like taking candy from a baby, but...

Well, let me just do a few more bags.

Well, well, now it all makes perfect sense.

Well? What?

What a bluff, I can't believe it. What did you have?

What a hand, that's a great hand for this game.

What a pain in the ass.

What a shanda Larry David is.

What a treat. Oh, God.

What about giving the short haired head back to Susie and your daughter?

What about golf, you're not playing golf?

What about this furniture, it's fantastic, isn't it?

What are our choices here, CBS?

What are we doing here? How come we didn't go to your office?

What are we gonna do about dinner for, what's his name, Greg, the driver?

What are you asking me for? It's a stupid question.

What are you doing dressed like that?

What are you doing here in Sammy's room, of all places?

What are you doing in there?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? What took you so long?

What are you guys playing, Scattergories?

What are you saying? You're saying that I wouldn't tell you?

What are you supposed to write on it? She wants a poem?

What are you talking about, did something happen?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you, crazy, no!

What are you, fucking Willy Loman? What are you doing here?

What brings you to our ******* home?

What can you do? Things happen.

What check? What are you talking about?

What did he see exactly?

What did we have, turkey and a glass of wine?

What did you do? What the hell did you do?

What did you do? You canceled AAA?

What did you just say?

What do I got to take? Do I need a traveling outfit?

What do they think people are watching?

What do you got? That's nothing.

What do you know? She's very vague about the whole thing.

What do you mean "schmuck"? I don't get that.

What do you mean stop and have a drink first?

What do you mean, "Would he really?" There's three shrimp in there.

What do you mean, another one?

What do you mean?

What do you mean? Who stops a whack off?

What do you mean? You gave us five names. There's only three here.

What do you think about going to the beach?

What do you think, are you gonna eat that?

What do you think?

What do you think?

What do you think? Do you think it's gonna work?

What do you want, you want a kidney? I'll give it to you.

What do you want?

What does C.D. stand for?

What does he think, I'm a moron?

What does the average gentile wear to a baptism?

What else do you need?

What happened is simply that I was trying to...

What happened to you?

What happened with Susie?

What happened, what happened?

What happened? What do you mean, "What happened"?

What happens with deaths and babies? You go all night.

What have you been up to today?

What I want to do is to give him...

What I'm talking about?

What if I did say she has a big ass? That's not terrible.

What if I were gay? Would that be "gay asshole"?

What is going on here? What are you doing here?

What is important about saving the Union? Do you need the South?

What is it?

What is it? Who put this on earth, this vegetable?

What is more jerky or putzy than going to a girl's house...

What is that, that's not how you say hello, is it?

What is that?

What is that? I don't know that.

What is the difference between the GT and the GTS?

What is this, Roots? What you mean, "auctioned off?"

What it be?

What kind of change? What are you talking about?

What kind of gas mileage am I going to get?

What kind of person lies...

What kind of person says yes to "Do you mind if I start?"

What kind of things? What do you mean?

What kind of... I mean, Groat's or no Groat's...

What problem?

What show? Seinfeld?

What song is this?

What the fuck are you doing here? You're supposed to call first!

What the fuck?

What the hell are you doing over here? You're fucking up my shit.

What the hell are you talking about? No.

What the hell is going on here?

What the...

What time is the car picking us up in the morning?

What was all that goodbye business? That was really embarrassing.

What we saw Larry do to Michael at that card game...

What were you stretching for? What reason? You're in the first row.

What where you doing? What was that?

What you been doing, looking for asses?

What you got going on tomorrow?

What, am I supposed to call in sick?

What, are they trying to turn us into the British empire?

What, are you crazy? What, are you nuts?

What, days?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Come on!

What? Get the hell out of here!

What? I...

What? What are you doing? Shirley?

What? What's the problem?

What? Why is that so hard to believe?

What'll we do about that driver, let him sit in the car for the next couple of hours?

What're you doing? What are you talking about?

What're you talking about? What's the matter with it?

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on? No! My God! Honey, kick!

What's going on? The machine's not even coming on.

What's going on? What in the God's name is wrong with you?

What's he doing? Why doesn't he put Shaq back in the game?

What's he gonna say? I had him dead to rights.

What's in it?

What's taking this guy so long?

What's that noise?

What's the big deal about saying "fuck"?

What's the big deal?

What's the deal? What is she doing? Does she work here, or is she a guest?

What's the difference between Harriet Beecher Stowe...

What's the difference what the atmosphere is?

What's the matter with a big ass? I like big asses, there's no problem.

What's the name of that book again...

What's the trouble here?

What's the wheel base?

What's this guy doing?

What's this outfit? Is it a Halloween party, or what?

What's up here? Any stuff up here? There's dolls up here?

What's with you and the water?

What's wrong with a lime green T shirt?

What's wrong, Sammy, darling?

Whatever.

When do you use the wake up calls? You never leave.

When he was standing over my window... That voice.

When he'd come over to my house, he could sit and relax.

When I was an infant. Maybe that had

When was the last time you had them?

When we go to Monterey for Becky's wedding.

When we're in bed, that's when I hear it.

When you're thinking about food...

When?

Whenever you're quiet, you're usually thinking about sex.

Where are you meeting for lunch? That's the Japanese restaurant.

Where are you, Judaism?

Where did you come up with the idea? Shelley told me something about...

Where did you meet, if I may ask?

Where the...

Where would we even go?

Where's all the shrimp here?

Where's all the shrimp? There's only three shrimp.

Where's her body?

Where's Jeff?

Where's the bottom of the broccoli?

Where's the fucking head?

Where's the head?

Where's your costumes?

Where's your Judaism?

Which I had never seen before. I almost thought it was not real, but it was.

Which I'm sure is not going to be a problem for you.

Which is even better, to go shopping with her. Imagine that.

Which will get you in at 4:00.

Which, there's two cranks.

While they ski and eat chocolate.

Who are you going to dinner with?

Who cares? It's Halloween, just give them candy.

Who doesn't know that when you cut a doll's hair...

Who have a tough time controlling their hyperactivity.

Who invented it, where it comes from...

Who is hungry from eating.

Who she played on the show.

Who told him?

Who used to play shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Who wants to give him a happy ending.

Who was a driver, a limousine driver...

Who was on a big TV show, a big hit show, like a Seinfeld.

Who's gonna pay to hear a bunch of bad shit?

Who's that?

Whoever steps up and does something like that?

Whoever, because they didn't reveal that much bosom in that day...

Whose word are you gonna trust, okay?

Why am I relegated to this?

Why are we even riding with him anyway?

Why are you so quiet?

Why can't he? It's a ticket.

Why can't people leave a room and be a little polite?

Why can't you...

Why did we want to save the Union? Who cares?

Why did you have to put those clothes of Jeff's...

Why did you have to throw the water at him?

Why did you just throw them in the trunk on top of a dirty old tire?

Why did you tell Wanda she has a big ass?

Why didn't you say hello to him? You know him.

Why didn't you stop?

Why didn't you tell me you were canceling AAA?

Why do Christians take everything so personally...

Why don't we discuss this and we will let you know, okay?

Why don't we go out?

Why don't you give it to Lewis?

Why don't you give them the candy next time, Larry?

Why don't you go say hi?

Why don't you go? You know, you two go in, we'll wait here.

Why don't you join?

Why don't you just take it off...

Why don't you write me a bunch of shit for free?

Why is he doing that?

Why is the acupuncturist giving you flowers?

Why not? Look at you, back in the saddle.

Why not? Monterey's a beautiful place.

Why park the car, go into this hotel...

Why should he wait until he's dead to give me the money? It's ridiculous.

Why would anybody do that?

Why would it kill you to just give them a few pieces of candy?

Why would Rob even... Christ.

Why would somebody steal tickets to Monterey?

Why would you do that?

Why would you even comment about her ass?

Why would you want that short haired Judy head?

Why you pushing hard to get this...

Why, I'm not insane. You think I'm insane?

Why, you shit...

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why? I wouldn't give you any of mine if I had something different.

Why'd you tell the other guy that you're not playing golf?

Will all remaining passengers please board?

With a cure for Groat's, they're gonna tackle baldness.

With all due respect, Officer Byrd, you are not bald.

With Christ, you know?

With the big, round steering wheel like that, you know.

With the envelope. Doesn't know what he wants.

With the geometric shapes...

With the history you guys have there?

With Wagner being played in the background.

With your chips and your cookies and watching...

Without **** these sun block people would be out of business.

Wonderful, couldn't be better.

Wonderful, do you mind telling me what you got in your pocket?

Working in Chicago and he would experiment with different combinations.

Would be considered a dairy product, am I correct?

Would he really do something like that, though?

Would please excuse us for a second?

Would you care to press charges?

Would you like a chance to get it back, maybe?

Would you like me to finish you off?

Would you like some hot tea or something?

Would you like to hear it?

Would you like to schedule another session?

Would you mind coming here?

Would you mind taking a quick glance at this thing on my back?

Would you? I don't know? Would you go back?

Wouldn't you love that?

Wow, I would like to get my seat in your class.

Wow! Boy.

Wrote "bald asshole" on my door.

Yeah

Yeah, 'cause Lou Gehrig had a disease named after him.

Yeah, 71350359.

Yeah, a lot of fun.

Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I gotta go. Bye.

Yeah, actually.

Yeah, all the magazine shows are calling. They're gonna do a spread.

Yeah, and then I was gonna write a couple of...

Yeah, anybody could've predicted that.

Yeah, asshole!

Yeah, but it's a golf outfit. It's sort of...

Yeah, but so what?

Yeah, but that's okay, that's okay.

Yeah, but we're supposed to be having lunch together.

Yeah, but, you know, just stuff...

Yeah, do you think you could give it a haircut?

Yeah, fine. Good.

Yeah, five brothers and sisters, you know, Irish.

Yeah, Freak That Booty, Big Ass Momma, all his favorites.

Yeah, go me.

Yeah, good, that's fine. Boy, that's starting to itch me down there.

Yeah, great, thanks.

Yeah, he having sex with her hand!

Yeah, he lives right by you. Two streets away in your neighborhood.

Yeah, he's doing this, like...

Yeah, he's hard to miss.

Yeah, he's leaving.

Yeah, healers. What a joke that is.

Yeah, hi.

Yeah, how's he doing?

Yeah, I bet.

Yeah, I could, I just have to call and get a sitter.

Yeah, I did have a motive. I wanted to kill him, I had a motive.

Yeah, I did, but I decided to take the wrong food home.

Yeah, I do have to go potty.

Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I don't have to chained to her the whole day.

Yeah, I don't know if it's gonna go any further...

Yeah, I don't think so.

Yeah, I have a very good social worker friend...

Yeah, I know a great estate lawyer. Joel Reynolds.

Yeah, I know. But, I mean, without Shaq, we can't win this, you know?

Yeah, I know. Doesn't mean you're entitled to go around to people's homes...

Yeah, I left my sun... I was in the deli the other day.

Yeah, I loved it. Honestly, I did. I thought it was really good.

Yeah, I mean, otherwise, you know, this is ugly here.

Yeah, I think I got some kind of rash.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna call it a night...

Yeah, I think it is.

Yeah, I was just being nice. I was being nice and chummy.

Yeah, I'll ask him, with his eight rings, that Larry David's upset.

Yeah, I'll bet you do.

Yeah, I'll change it, because you don't have a wife...

Yeah, I'm done. I didn't steal your message, asshole.

Yeah, I'm real excited.

Yeah, I'm wearing the exact same outfit.

Yeah, I've mentioned it to her a couple of times.

Yeah, I've never once seen a Gentile ask for, or even put on, sun block.

Yeah, in a couple of minutes, he's gonna be here.

Yeah, it fits perfectly in this room.

Yeah, it is a David salad.

Yeah, it kind of works a little better for me if you come here.

Yeah, it was a cash deal, there was no escrow.

Yeah, it's a shame she didn't know that the hair wasn't gonna grow back, yeah.

Yeah, it's all right, take your time. Nobody's waiting for you.

Yeah, it's definitely different.

Yeah, it's definitely different.

Yeah, it's lovely.

Yeah, it's my wife's birthday tomorrow. So...

Yeah, it's you and guides, in a group. It's a large group.

Yeah, just gently flowing in the breeze, that's me.

Yeah, just to the right. Just go down to the end.

Yeah, Larry can get a little carried away sometimes, I guess.

Yeah, let's make a time with Vera, you'll come back in tomorrow...

Yeah, let's try to breathe through it, okay, together?

Yeah, listen to this.

Yeah, listen, I just want to say, I'm doing this charity thing.

Yeah, look at this.

Yeah, makes you nauseous, the fumes, you know...

Yeah, Naked Tuesdays. See? He's a funny lawyer.

Yeah, no, believe me, Julie, I saw it. I saw him on the news.

Yeah, no, problem.

Yeah, nothing like him. He's the greatest guy.

Yeah, now this is definitely easier to brush, and it looks great.

Yeah, of course you are.

Yeah, people from Jersey didn't really find that guy funny.

Yeah, really spectacular.

Yeah, really.

Yeah, remember two years ago, I got out of that special.

Yeah, see?

Yeah, she asked me how I was feeling. I said, "Better."

Yeah, she asked me. She asked me to give it a haircut.

Yeah, she probably will be there. You're not pushing secret codes and all that.

Yeah, so, my dad is just doing this, he's basically dying is what's happening.

Yeah, that's not quite accurate.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, the bracelet.

Yeah, the driving you got done good.

Yeah, there's some shrimp in there and...

Yeah, they look good. People compliment me.

Yeah, this.

Yeah, to Kim. I kept calling...

Yeah, two months. And not only that...

Yeah, we have a beautiful Pacific coast, Atlantic coast...

Yeah, we'll see you next week.

Yeah, we're gonna get together.

Yeah, we're not going to dinner with you, though.

Yeah, when do you expect that'll be?

Yeah, who else would have a plate like that?

Yeah, why did you make up a lie about a stepfather?

Yeah, why would they do something like that?

Yeah, yeah, your wife's birthday.

Yeah, you got your full order, I got mine minus seven shrimp.

Yeah, you know what you should do, you should call Jojo.

Yeah, you know, and so, it's...

Yeah, you know, he said I could try it.

Yeah, you know, I'm more...

Yeah, you should be sorry because you just lost my account.

Yeah, you, it's all your fault!

Yeah, you're not doing anything.

Yeah?

Yeah? I'd like to talk to your parents.

Yeah? What's her name?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Alan, guess what.

Yeah. I think you'll be very happy with the treatment.

Yeah. It's only for, like, a couple of days.

Yeah. **** don't convert. I'm really surprised.

Yeah. Okay.

Yes, I am gonna finish that, thank you.

Yes, I don't need to come in regularly anymore.

Yes, it did, you'll get used to this.

Yes, Jason, here.

Yes, Judge Katz. And may I say, "Shabbat shalom."

Yes, of course, what are you talking about?

Yes, please.

Yes, so, a president and a king...

Yes, that was Beth Sweeney, ladies and gentlemen

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Who are you?

Yes, this is my daughter.

Yes, you have to get a picture.

Yes, you have. Then people think that you're doing it intentionally.

Yes, you need a traveling outfit, you need something for the baptism.

Yes!

Yes! Hitler's favorite composer!

Yes.

Yesterday, when I pressed the security code to get into my office...

You actually think you're gonna fix my neck?

You almost had my kung pao shrimp.

You already owe me $5,000 for the other one.

You always have rules and phrasings, "stop and chat."

You and Jason worked things out?

You are an ass man.

You are not gonna believe what I just saw.

You are so clever. I'm sitting here with my wife...

You are so selfish.

You are? That is good news.

You bask in the sun

You better stop her from going.

You call Jeff and tell him I'm not high maintenance.

You can get a drink at the restaurant.

You can have them.

You can make an appointment and just come to the office.

You can rent a car to Monterey. It's about 100 miles.

You can replace it? This is like Liberty, the Beanie Baby.

You can say "fuck

You can wear clothes, these clothes don't...

You can't bother your friends with this stuff.

You can't call us bald assholes.

You can't do it on Monday.

You can't do it, you're a writer.

You can't play golf today.

You completely, completely misinterpreted that.

You could do an art piece, and you could write a recollection of Bob...

You could drive around the world, we still haven't had a meeting!

You could maybe be in here in days.

You could save me a visit to a dermatologist.

You counted the shrimp, you're a shrimp counter now.

You cunt, what a cunt!

You did it. You done did it, boy.

You didn't even hear me say that.

You do a few and then we'll switch.

You do. The bench is right over here, look at this.

You don't even have to come and I'll sell it.

You don't even know what you're talking about.

You don't have to come, I'm happy to come here.

You don't have to just wear them on the golf course.

You don't have to look at me that way, no need for pity.

You don't have to play every Saturday.

You don't have to take a bow for it, I'm just telling you.

You don't have to, you want to finish it, go ahead.

You don't know what the hell you're talking about...

You don't know? If I was named after a president...

You don't need more states. We're not the British empire.

You don't need to say that.

You don't really hear it very well until after 10:00 at night.

You don't seem to be gently flowing in the breeze.

You don't think Michaelson's wife... Do you think she's gonna have...

You don't think Sammy's gonna mind? She's not gonna notice?

You don't want me to write the letter of recommendation.

You don't yell a comment about a woman's ass.

You either do zero pumps or a thousand pumps.

You ever catch your parents having sex?

You ever see Joe Piscopo's Jersey Guy?

You expect me to believe that?

You feel comfortable with that?

You feel good that you're lying to him?

You get the room service, the wake up calls.

You get the wood grain, we might do this today.

You get used to that in two days.

You go to Africa, you travel all over the world.

You go wrangle somebody else's.

You going to put a whole bunch of stuff back here.

You got a lot going on in there.

You got a set of rules and you think everyone's gonna adhere to them...

You got any ideas? Anything coming down the pike?

You got it.

You got to be kidding me.

You got to get down there. You got to do something.

You got to loosen the lug nuts first.

You got your legs stretched out, I mean, the guy just trips.

You gotta give the guy space.

You gotta go.

You gotta have the gift.

You gotta make the nice.

You gotta stop and talk to people like there's so much information to exchange.

You gotta talk to him and tell him I didn't put you up to that.

You guys are with HBO, very happy to have you.

You guys come to our side, we don't go to your side.

You guys don't have a phone machine?

You had a motive, because you're a Knicks fan.

You have a big day tomorrow. He has to get his sleep.

You have a long day of cleaning ahead of you.

You have any idea what it takes for me to take a day off?

You have chosen to shave your hair.

You have every tape of every show?

You have my same answering machine outgoing message...

You have no idea how much money I've spent on dolls.

You have to convince him. I'm totally screwed.

You have to get yourself into major psychoanalysis.

You have to go in. He's a human being. You got to say..

You have?

You heard of Switzerland?

You just go to...

You just said, "That's kind of kinky." Do you think I'm kinky?

You just shouted out the C word in front of women...

You just use the holiday for your own selfish purposes?

You keep coming back to this insane thing with driving.

You keep up the...

You knew? What happened?

You know that guy right over there?

You know that guy?

You know they did, but you wonder when.

You know what I am? I'm the terminator.

You know what I like about her?

You know what I mean, he sends you, his friend...

You know what I mean.

You know what I went through?

You know what you're looking at? You are looking at 245 pounds of steel...

You know what, fine.

You know what, he's nothing like George.

You know what, I'm not good at artificial small talk.

You know what, take Mom to the hotel.

You know what, this is so unfair of you.

You know what? I got a masseuse.

You know what? I think it's time to get rid of it.

You know what? I'll be right back. I'm going to the bathroom.

You know what? If he didn't convert, she wouldn't marry him.

You know what? Just forget it. We're already here at the airport.

You know what? My wife's name is Veronica.

You know who Cliff is? Cliff Cobb. Yeah, that cute guy in the wheelchair.

You know who I am? Okay.

You know who I ran into? Allan Wasserman. That's who had our food, Allan Wasserman.

You know why?

You know why? 'Cause I'm not gonna do it.

You know, 'cause they're gray

You know, Bob's thing doesn't have to be a big thing.

You know, do whatever you want.

You know, fake cashmere and all...

You know, first you want to just stop off...

You know, go to Santa Barbara one day.

You know, g**** works as a soda, sort of as a gum...

You know, he got my container by mistake from the Chinese restaurant...

You know, I actually think she looked pretty good with the short hair.

You know, I always felt I could be a great salesman.

You know, I can hear everything Jackson's saying?

You know, I don't like to make little chit chat on the street.

You know, I don't really know that much about art.

You know, I just couldn't write for TV anymore.

You know, I love Jason.

You know, I thought something had to be done, really.

You know, I understand what it's like... Thank you.

You know, I'll ask Cheryl.

You know, I'll introduce it, and you'll run with it, okay?

You know, is that art? I mean, if I could do it, is that art?

You know, it'll be a breeze.

You know, it's etiquette.

You know, just intermittently, if I can, if you'll have me, I hope you will.

You know, Larry, I would just like to go home.

You know, like Jason.

You know, listen...

You know, look at this broccoli, there's nothing.

You know, Mr. David, I've been thinking about this.

You know, my dentist told me I have the gums of a 25 year old man.

You know, my grandfather's name was Harold Bingo.

You know, one little problem, and nowadays it's goodbye...

You know, so then to show that I was the man...

You know, sometimes you run into somebody, you know?

You know, sometimes, the body has a memory...

You know, that's it.

You know, that's not how the business works.

You know, the acting thing is, frankly, coming a little hard.

You know, there's certain sexual things that I like...

You know, this is the guy that never got the girl...

You know, we just don't do enough things together.

You know, we should play it sometime.

You know, when people steal jokes, we fucking hate that.

You know, you don't have the need to tilt in this car.

You know, you don't just sell them.

You know, you hear "Lexus."

You know, you're encroaching in my territory

You like big asses?

You like that old car. You know the back seat faces out.

You look like a fucking cowboy. You're J.R., Joel Reynolds, right?

You look more like 16 or maybe even 17.

You mean I tripped him? They said Larry David?

You mean, before I lift it?

You memorized the building code, entered the office.

You might as well call out and say:

You might want to check into that.

You must keep hope alive, bald people.

You need a bathing suit...

You need a drill.

You need to relax, 'cause golf doesn't relax you.

You need two more dunks.

You owe me $5,000. I made you feel better!

You played a character...

You protected yourself ahead of time.

You put that doll head down there...

You put the shelves up... I find that hard to believe.

You ready?

You really do have to come back and talk to me.

You really like that?

You said that, why do you say that?

You said, "I love big asses and I like yours."

You said, "Suite: Judy Brown Eyes"?

You say a few things, you make a couple of jokes...

You see how agitated you are, Larry?

You should call him.

You should read this.

You should read this.

You shouldn't say anything at all.

You show biz types get a little richer than the dental profession.

You son of a bitch, that's pretty damn good.

You start eating before he gets his food?

You sure there were no costumes?

You take care of yourself. Maybe some other time.

You take everything the wrong way, ever since I've known you.

You tell him the bald turd said hello, okay?

You think I don't have eyes?

You think I don't know...

You think this is gonna be okay?

You think you're alone, and you're in the bathroom.

You told her, and she told me, that you said that you were better.

You took it from me, but you know what? I'll be the man.

You walked into my daughter's room and cut her Judy's hair?

You wanna check my penis? Is that what you wanna do?

You wanna give it a little, kind of, Dorothy Hamill thing?

You wanna play a quick round of Scattergories?

You wanna see? Let's take a look, all right?

You want everybody to.

You want me to give it a haircut?

You want some money for the dinner?

You want some money for this dinner?

You want this water cooler?

You want to have lunch?

You want to help me change a tire? Could use a little help.

You want to switch glasses with me, is that it?

You wanting to have sex in the afternoon is crazy.

You will? Great.

You won't believe this, I just signed Jason Alexander.

You won't sell a car the first day. Nobody does it the first day.

You working on another thing, another show or something?

You would not believe what a political agenda AAA has.

You wouldn't let him?

You wrote it in Paris? I had that message seven years ago!

You, sir, won $100.

You'd think that he would want his kid to be happy...

You'll be appearing at the West Los Angeles municipal court.

You'll be believed, don't you think?

You'll be surprised at how much you go for.

You'll be surprised how much money we'll be able to generate...

You'll find out.

You'll get used to it, just ignore it.

You'll sell a lot of them, you're a good salesman.

You're a genius.

You're a lousy Jew!

You're a small, petty man.

You're all set.

You're at a place where everyone's sitting, having cocktails and socializing.

You're at a place where everyone's sitting, having cocktails and socializing.

You're breaking up the good time.

You're dead, you son of a bitch!

You're disappointed in me.

You're either gay or you're not gay. He was gay, he's gay.

You're going to love... You're the Seinfeld guy, right?

You're going to the beach.

You're gonna bust right through your bumper.

You're gonna clean this up by yourself. Whose fault is this?

You're gonna have to finish it out here. I'm sorry.

You're gonna witness the whole thing.

You're happy with the Prius?

You're having a surprise party? What, you didn't invite us?

You're in the prime of your life!

You're into this shit, too? You're into the kinky Big Ass Momma crap?

You're joking, right? I don't want anymore dunking.

You're just all tense.

You're just all wired up.

You're kidding? He's in L.A. For this...

You're missing the whole point of the drink.

You're not a Lakers fan are you? You're a Knicks fan.

You're not canceling cable.

You're not doing anything, let's take a meeting.

You're not going anywhere. You killed my uncle, you murderer!

You're not going out with my assistant, okay?

You're not gonna believe this. We can move into the house on Monday.

You're not gonna sell a car the first day.

You're not thinking about a little afternoon sex or something?

You're not wearing jeans to this party.

You're nuts.

You're right.

You're sick.

You're sitting there, you know, you see a player coming...

You're so charming and beautiful.

You're standing at the door with a bowl of candy.

You're the only one that can fix it, you know?

You're upset, the other day when I saw you on the street...

You're welcome.

You're with a customer, selling cars...

You're with us now, all right?

You've been in therapy for a while, I know you pretty well.

You've committed to this?

You've got a boatload of messages...

You've got a great view.

You've got an allergic reaction, I'm telling you.

You've got the best seat in the house, you know that?

You've got to go. If you've been feeling that way...

You've got to tell us how much that is.

You've gotta go to part two. You're part of the ABC family.

You've never seen me ebullient, so you don't even know what it is.

You've turned into a very nice man.

Your dad's that wrestler, isn't he?

Your daughter's won't know that the hair was cut?

Your day is coming. Don't give up hope, keep hope alive

Your father is just all broken up about this.

Your father's got a lot of money, doesn't he?

Your little conspiracy with Cheryl worked.

Your perverse, fat fuck manager, you know, what he makes me do?

Your therapist called. They wanna move your appointment up an hour.

Yours will be ready in just a few minutes, sir.

2 minutes, okay.

2 minutes.

19,000 people disappointed when they lose, I just...

600,000 people died in the Civil War.

'Cause I called the guy a cunt, so what! 'Cause you called the guy a cunt.

'Cause we're celebrating. I know, but we could've got a town car.

"14 THOR," but why? You said you owed me one.

"Hello, how are you?" kind of thing. I don't know what you're talking about.

$5,000? $5,000.

$700, $800. Are you serious?

A hammock is very placid. A hammock?

A little chilly in here. Yeah, isn't it?

A lot of coffee, that man. He was in such a hurry.

A lot. It's about, $700, $800 in there, come on.

A man that has some sense. No.

A page? That would be nice.

A pen. I was thinking of the other pocket.

A tremendous actor. Unbelievable.

About two hours. Two hours? We can still make it.

Absolutely, butter. Thank you.

Absolutely. Good.

Absolutely. What's going on? Is this

Ace high? Sweetie.

Al, come on. I told you to get out.

Albert, how you doing? Look who I found wandering the halls.

All right, all's well that ends well. Bye bye.

All right, bye you guys. I was gonna say goodbye.

All right, bye, you guys. Bye, Cheryl.

All right, can I take a guess? Yeah, sure.

All right, have one of these. Thank you.

All right, HBO. All right, exciting.

All right, I gotta go. Okay, nice to meet you. All right, I'll see you.

All right, I will see you later. Honey, I got a better idea.

All right, sweetheart. I'm sorry about this whole thing.

All right, thank you. The cars sell themselves.

All right, that's all I needed. The master bedroom?

All right, yeah, sure. But you have to do it now, hurry up.

All right? That's fine, that's how it works.

All right. Something different and interesting.

All right. Yeah?

All right. You know, the thing that's hard...

All right. See what you can find out. Right away.

All set. How long does it take to get to Monterey?

All the dolls fell, right there. Why don't I believe you?

All the problems, the Jason Alexander... Jason Alexander, yeah, what?

And chat with Mr. Weiner. You will be back, though?

and he sits there and he judges No, he doesn't, he's just shy.

And here's your food. Okay.

And how does it look? It looks great.

and I became an alcoholic. Okay, you don't have to do it right now.

and I suggest to go to some... You're breaking up the good time..

And if you do not recover, I get nothing? You get nothing.

And that's the show? That's the show.

And then something for the wedding? Then something for the wedding.

And what did he say? He said he did mind.

And what do I have? You have 25.

And what do you got? I have 25.

And what is Puerto Rico anyway? Please, I am trying to drive.

And yeah, it is a big deal. So...

And you have a good evening. Yes, you, too, thank you very much.

Apheon. Apheon.

Are there tons of snakes? There's tons of everything.

Are we ready? Yes, please.

Are you crazy? I thought you were a family man.

Are you expecting somebody? Wanda.

Are you kidding? Yeah.

Are you Mrs. David? Yes, I am.

Are you nervous? I'm very nervous.

Are you okay? I'm so sorry. Here, give us some room here, stand back.

Are you really? I got his seats.

Are you sure it was Dr. Weiss? It was him, it was him.

Are you trying to be funny now? No.

At least it's an admission of guilt. It's not an admission of guilt.

Because I'm really not in the mood. I fucked up.

Because... I think he's completely wrong for it

Becky's getting married? Really? Yeah, to a Jew. Marrying a Jew.

Blue and black, that's no good? That's no good. You need to change.

Boy, you look great. Yeah.

Buckle up! I'm buckling.

Bullshit! And you call my grandfather a liar?

Bullshit! Seven years...

But I like to sell, too. Do you?

But I'm looking forward to your movie. I'm so glad you're here.

but no, there's no chance of that. No.

But you're not at home. No, but it is Casual Friday, so...

Button man? Yes, I sell buttons to the cut up trade.

Bye bye. I'll see you tonight.

Bye, thanks for coming. It was nice meeting you.

Bye. Bye.

Can I just Yeah, on my arm, that's wild.

Can I play nine? No, come on.

Can you put any weight on it? Larry, how did that happen?

Can you straighten it, Shaq? No.

Can you? I guess.

Can't we have lunch and discuss this? I can't.

Car salesmen are not bullshit. I mean... No, of course, they're not.

CBS. Fox?

Cheryl good? Yeah.

Cheryl? Yes, I'm up here!

Cheryl? Yes?

Cheryl. Hi, Carol.

Cheryl. What?

Chest freeze. I see, yeah.

Chinese? Chinese, that would be great.

Cliff Cobb, table of four? Great.

Coast is clear. Great, 2 minutes.

Cold! Chest freeze! Okay, Larry.

Come here for a second. What?

Come on in. No, really.

Come on, Cheryl. Stop it.

Come on, I'm a man of honor. It's a family tradition, honor.

Come on, stop

Come on, TV is a great medium. Too much work.

Come on. Okay.

Could a psychic know something like that? She knew hole in one.

Could I please... Yeah, hold on, come here.

Could you give me a ride? The doctor.

Could you wait right there? What? What are you doing?

Created at the Brown Derby in Hollywood. Right.

Dealer, yeah. Really?

Delicious. You like it?

Did he not... Mister!

Did Jeff say he's gonna meet us here? He's gonna meet us in the lobby.

Did you do waiting? You had to wait. Yeah, I know, and I hated it.

Did you eat the food? No, I'll get something on the way home.

Did you enjoy it? I stopped it.

Did you ever see him do that shit? No.

Did you go out for the drink? No.

Did you tell her the idea yet? No, I'm gonna pitch it to her tomorrow.

Did you? Yeah.

Do I know him? The guy from HBO, the president of HBO.

Do me a favor? What?

Do you believe that? You should be flattered.

Do you get that? Outfit approval? Yeah.

Do you know who this is? This is Judy. I thought

Do you like these seats? Great seats.

Do you see that over... This is a solar keratosis.

Do you want one, Julia? All right, thank you.

Do you work here? No.

Do you? Yeah. There's Jeremy.

Do you? You want to? I can't believe that.

Doc's killing us. I'm gonna go to the can, I'll be right back.

Don't cash it for a week. For a week?

Don't leave your post, okay? Sure.

Don't let your wife steal this thing. How much is that?

Don't pay attention to him. No, pay attention.

Don't stare, come on. Oh, my God, look at that.

Don't worry about it, I'm good. I'm sorry.

Drive safe, okay? I left $115.

Driving is not the issue. I think driving is the issue.

Dude, you're gonna bust your bumper. What?

Enjoy the show. Thank you.

Enjoy your dinner. Thank you.

Enjoy yourself. I can't enjoy myself.

Ever seen the Seinfeld show? Yeah.

Everybody, good to see you. You know Michael Halbreich?

Everything all right? No.

Exactly, that's what I'm doing. I would love to accept your invitation.

Exactly. That's fine.

Excuse me, we're in line. Somebody took our tickets.

Excuse me. Yeah?

Excuse who? Excuse me, just wait outside, okay?

Feel good. All right, you too.

Fine. Fine, thank you.

Fine. Thank you.

For goodness sake... Because it was...

for Halloween to work. What is it with you and your cut offs?

For the NRDC. I like the sound of that.

Forget him. You just cost me a customer.

Forget that, I just want to try it for a day. I think that would be great.

Four to six weeks, maybe twice a week. Yeah.

Frankly, you seem... I don't really think I need to come.

From Seinfeld? Yeah.

From the office? Yeah.

Frozen margaritas? Frozen margaritas, thank you.

Fuck! I'm sorry.

Garment manufacturers. I got a bellybutton story for you.

Get his ass out of here. The timer ran out.

Get in there. My God.

Get out! Are you going back tonight for part two?

Get out. I'll... What's going on?

Get your ass out of here, get out. You heard him. Get out!

Give Candy a call on Monday. I will.

Give this to me. Jeffrey, I saw your car.

Go ahead. Okay.

Go apologize. I'll tell you something else, too.

Go in, somebody. Yeah.

Go me, not you? No, not me.

Go to the beach with her. Hate it.

Go to the front? Yeah.

God, I'm so... What did you do?

God, okay. Okay, you're good.

God, the Michaelsons. My God.

Good luck with your telephone. That's sad, it's sad.

Good to see you. Absolutely.

Good to see you. Good to see you.

Good to see you. Okay.

Good, everything good? Yeah.

Good, how are you? Barbara Schneider, Cheryl and Larry David.

Good, I'm so relieved. So let's pitch it to HBO.

Good, you? Good. Listen.

Good! Good.

Good. European.

Good. He's doing better now?

Good. Let me show you to your seats.

Good. That was really pleasant.

Good. Yeah?

Goodnight. Goodnight.

Gosh! Occidental!

Got any sun block? Yeah.

Great job. Thank you very much.

Great, I would love to do that. Thank you, he would love that.

Great. So how things been going?

Great. Yeah, if it's trouble...

Groat's syndrome. And what does it do?

Happy? Christ.

Have you got a pen, let me put that down. There's one in the back seat.

Have you noticed that? It's unbelievable. Yeah.

He cut it. Is this true?

He didn't tell her. I thought it was understood.

He didn't? No, he didn't.

He insulted me. How?

He invited us to that screening. Doesn't necessarily mean you're bored.

He knows a lot about shelving. I put them all up

He knows you're working in a deli? Yeah, of course he does, yeah.

He really loves the idea. That's good.

He should've been here 15 minutes ago. I know.

He violates me, Larry. He defiles me. I don't want to know.

He wanted the name of a lawyer. The lawyer that you gave him.

He was trying to make Cliff feel good. That's a good thing.

he would get the money back. Excuse me, there was no condition.

He'll be on to you. How did this happen?

He's 14 months. So cute.

He's a bigwig? Yeah, he manages.

He's a nice guy. Okay.

He's been wanting to ask. It's really no big deal.

He's been weird all lunch. What the hell?

He's good with estates? He's terrific.

He's got the most unbelievable seats. Pretty amazing.

He's more of an actor than a wrestler. Dad's an actor?

He's not a doctor? Sixth floor, Psychiatric.

He's not a hedonist. What is he?

He's not an asshole, he's just shy. No, he's not shy.

He's on to us? He's on to me

He's the Lakers' doctor, go ask him. But he's an orthopedic, right?

He's told this many times. Oh, my God!

Hello, Dolly. No, it's Wagner.

Hello, hi, Susan. Hi, how are you?

Hello, Reynolds and McKay. Okay, all right.

Hello? Jay?

Hello. Hi.

Hello. Hi.

Hello. Hi.

Help! Get him! Hold your breath! Kick!

Here we go. I heard about Cliff and his wife.

Here you are, sir. Thank you very much.

Here. He came here?

Here's his wife, Cheryl. Hi.

Here's his wife, Cheryl. Hi.

Here's what I want you to do. Okay.

Here's your food. What?

Hey, Albert. What are you doing here?

Hey, Chuck. Larry, how are you doing?

Hey, Cliff. What are you doing?

Hey, Elvira! What the fuck do you want?

Hey, great job again. Hope you liked it.

Hey! Oh, my God.

Hey. Hello.

Hi, guys. Hi.

Hi, honey. You all right?

Hi, how are you? Good to see you, too.

Hi, how are you? What's going on?

Hi, I'll be back for your drink order. Okay, thanks

Hi, I'm Larry. Larry, Archie.

Hi, Larry. Hi.

Hi, Mickey. So it's this Cheryl.

Hi, nice to meet you. And I'm Jeff Greene, we met...

Hi, so good to see you. I hope...

Hi, so nice to see you. So glad you could join us.

Hi. Hello!

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Thank you. Look how pretty you look.

Hiya, John Tyler. John Tyler?

Holy cow, look at this. This isn't Judy, is it?

Holy cow, they took your picture? Yeah, they had the thing up on the light.

Holy cow. Great, right? How great is this?

Holy shit

Honey? What?

Hot bath? You happy about this, Larry?

How about you? Playing a lot of golf.

How are we doing over here, folks? I think I'm done.

How are we doing? All right.

How are you doing? Good.

How are you, man? Jeff, hi, good to see you.

How are you? Good, how are you doing?

How are you? Good, how are you?

How are you? Good.

How can you cheat at Scattergories? What are you talking about?

How can you not know what it is? I'd never been to one.

How come you didn't say hello? There wasn't an opening.

How could you need to stretch? I stuck my legs out.

How do you know her? I worked on the show.

How does that bother you? Because we're having lunch together.

How else am I gonna leave a shrink? How the fuck do I know?

How long are they staying for, anyway? They're staying till next week...

How long you been doing this? It's been a while.

How old are you? Thirteen.

How was your massage? Good.

How you doing? Fine.

How you doing? Good, how are you?

How you doing? Good.

How's everything at HBO? Tremendous, just terrific.

How's the golf? I didn't play golf, Donald.

How's your chi? It's good, it's delicious chi.

I actually went up to change. Right.

I am the terminator. Was it the beach?

I am. I got you all the tapes of every episode.

I came up with this. That's nice.

I can't believe you did that. Come on

I can't do it on my own, tell me. Then go Lincoln!

I can't eat this. I'm sorry, I forgot the fork.

I can't talk to him in that bathing suit. It is pretty small.

I could have sworn he was gay, that guy. No, I've known him for years.

I covered my mouth. Yeah, sure.

I didn't even A mitzvah for my family, thank you.

I didn't golf today. You said you weren't golfing.

I didn't make anything happen. You kind of did.

I didn't need that. Man, she's nuts. What the hell are we gonna do now?

I didn't say "sick." You think there are sick things going on?

I didn't say you had a big ass. You yelled out, "Hey, big ass Wanda."

I didn't tell Wanda she had a big ass. She just called me and told me.

I didn't throw the water at him, the waiter You're lying.

I didn't touch your garlic noodles. I didn't say you touched my garlic noodles.

I didn't touch your shrimp. Who gives a shit, come on, Larry.

I do know the eyes 'cause I see my daughter call her Judy.

I don't have a big... We're tired, too.

I don't have an ass fetish. This is very kinky.

I don't know if we should pull her off. I gotta get her off.

I don't know if you know him. Gay guy?

I don't know what it is. You'll find out tomorrow, firsthand.

I don't know what it looked like. Ugly. It was way down to her waist.

I don't know what that was. What was that?

I don't know, I just... I'll look, I'll check that out.

I don't like it. It's just one day of the week.

I don't like people touching me. I won't touch you.

I don't like this Casual Friday. What are you, my mother?

I don't need to... I like this car. Okay, could you excuse us for one second?

I don't really like this... What?

I don't really think it's "We want you to have lobster!"

I don't see him. There, what's that?

I don't think that's No, that's very possible

I drove by the theater. And?

I drove here with the same intention. The driving is not the meeting, Larry.

I feel good. You should.

I feel like I have to hurry, you know? Didn't you used to drive a limo?

I got a job. You did?

I got the thing, CBS, come on! I know.

I got this doll before she was born. I can replace it, I'm sure I can.

I got you some food. That's great, thanks.

I had him! How can you have a customer?

I had nothing, 2 and a 4. That's what I had, nothing.

I had that guy. You're fired.

I had that sale. I'm happy for you, Larry.

I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm very happy, I'm very happy for you.

I have to go before a judge! Don't worry about it, I'm okay, thanks.

I haven't seen you. Have not seen me.

I heard it's great. How is Susie?

I hope this table's to your liking. Sure, thank you.

I just asked you a question. No, it's too weird.

I just don't think he's a good guy. What if we didn't deal with him?

I just told you I like it. Yeah, all right.

I know him. Blowjob?

I know, but we made a plan. I understand.

I know, come on. I think you got the wrong guy.

I know, it's Casual Friday. Casual Friday? What does that mean?

I know. All of a sudden I got this deal

I know. I've got a five hour round here.

I know. Nobody ever called me that before.

I know. What?

I like it. What you need a big car for?

I liked it. You think it's perfect?

I love it. It's funny, right?

I mean, it's so crazy. I know.

I put my foot in my mouth, all right? I'm sorry, how's the show going?

I sleep on a big pile of clothes. It's just disgusting.

I stopped it after 12 pumps. No wonder you're still uptight.

I talk to Elliot and Andy occasionally. Yeah, how's Elliot doing?

I think I'm ready to terminate. Okay, yeah. Great.

I think it was the baptism. Then we're not getting married.

I think it's a good idea. Don't want to push.

I think she's fixed. Terrific.

I think that would be wonderful. Do you?

I think they mean normally. Okay, but then I want Arabia.

I think we can do something about that. You're a very confident man.

I think we should go ahead and order then. We will order, certainly.

I thought it was good. Really?

I told him. You know, a woman's ass is very personal.

I want the ticket. I don't know what you're talking about.

I want to see those pictures. I'll get you the pictures.

I was just having lunch with the guy. I know, but Larry, that's another thing.

I was reading it to you. You didn't say you were canceling it.

I was the co creator. You must have made a bundle.

I wasn't yelling, I was helping. Angel.

I will be back. 'Cause he can't fill in for you.

I will never ever tell her. I would.

I won, Shaq. Get out.

I won't know how, what would I do? I don't know, you won't be good at it.

I wore this on show night. Okay, great.

I would appreciate it so much. I love the indebted part, believe me.

I would say at least. It's all right.

I would wait for you to get yours. I wouldn't want you to wait.

I would've never told you. You should be thanking me.

I wouldn't dare even... I'm going in there now.

I'd love dessert. Actually, we cannot stay for dessert.

I'll be happy to look at it there. I mean, it would just take a second.

I'll be in the car. You're waiting in the car?

I'll be right back. I am a sucker for cilantro, I'll tell you.

I'll bet you there's eight missing, at least

I'll come next time. I'm happy to come to your office.

I'll get no bacon. No bacon.

I'll get this. What, where do I put this suit on?

I'll get this. What, where do I put this suit on?

I'll go get you a fork and a napkin. All right. That'd be great.

I'll have it down when I get there. Come by on Monday?

I'll have the paella. Good choice.

I'll let the principals take care of it for you. All right, Larry and I were talking...

I'll pitch the whole show, okay? Really?

I'll seat you myself. Great

I'm a disgusting man. I can see that, I'm just, I'm so...

I'm a huge fan of both of you, obviously. Thank you.

I'm a Knicks fan, yeah. Table for one.

I'm a liar? You're a two faced, backstabbing liar.

I'm a teacher. You're a teacher.

I'm a writer. Next time you're in a big hurry...

I'm awfully sorry. I didn't ask your opinion.

I'm better. That's good.

I'm doing business here! I came from Jeff's office.

I'm fucking out of here. Let's get out of here, come on.

I'm going home. No goodbye?

I'm gonna call Julia. Great.

I'm gonna call you about my... You do that, call Candy.

I'm gonna go hit some balls. I'll see you at the range.

I'm here. In?

I'm in. Yes!

I'm Lane Michaelson. How do you do? He's the ABC guy.

I'm laughing but if you don't change it It's a shame.

I'm looking out for you. This is great.

I'm not getting baptized. I'm not getting married.

I'm not gonna wait for this. Just wait your turn.

I'm not having any affair! You're not having an affair

I'm not. Tell him you're into Scientology.

I'm out, yeah

I'm out. I can't do it either.

I'm real sorry, what a waste of a day. No, listen.

I'm really hungry. Idiots.

I'm so sorry, are you David? Yeah.

I'm so sorry, Carol. He had to change his outfit.

I'm so sorry. Can you put any weight on it?

I'm sorry to hear that. Don't be! It's great.

I'm sorry, I feel I was gonna do a basketball with...

I'm sorry, I just... What did you do?

I'm telling you All right, fine, I'll get it.

I'm terminating. I think I can terminate. That's wonderful, Larry.

I've been Brad and Julia's dentist for years. Really, Mickey, that is good to know...

I've never heard of that. That was brilliant.

I've seen Judy, that's Judy. No, Judy has brown eyes.

If I treat you and you recover? Yep.

If it was any other night... Trick or treat, bang bang!

If you don't want to... No, I'll do it.

Impressive? Very impressive. Yes.

In that giant container, there's... Yeah, three shrimp.

In the bathroom. Yeah, of course.

Is Arabia a country? Arabia? No, it's Saudi Arabia.

Is everything all right? You know that guy?

Is it a big deal? What's the big deal? It is. It's my grandfather's salad.

Is it a divorce? Yeah, it's a divorce.

Is it twin cam? Yeah, twin cam.

Is Shaquille O'Neal on this floor? Down the hall.

Is that a bathroom? Yeah, why? Do you have to go potty?

Is that a car up there? Stupid directions.

Is that a car? Isn't that a row of pines?

Is that a row of pines? I will be so mad...

Is that better? No, not really.

Is that Jill? Yeah, she...

Is that right? Everybody wants George Costanza.

Is there a bathroom I can use? Yeah, right down there.

Is this an authentic Judy? Believe me, that is Judy.

Is this fucking unbelievable? This is unbelievable.

it doesn't grow back? She should know better.

It doesn't work because that Okay, all right!

it is sensational. Larry, that's why we came.

it is sensational. Larry, that's why we came.

It looks good on you. That's what people tell me.

It was a little much, if you ask me. I guess it is... Cleavage.

It was an accident. I know, you got to be careful.

It was an accident. I'll apologize.

It was great to meet you. Did you play anything?

It was just a friendly remark, that's all. That's a friendly remark?

It'll go away. So, Anne, you've met Larry?

It's a big difference. But don't you want to eat?

It's a family name, really. Big family?

It's a little too busy around here for us. Too much commotion for us.

It's a non profit organization, so... You never called me.

It's a shame, because everyone loves it. Yeah, everyone loves it.

It's all coming crystal clear now? Yeah.

It's Barry. Yeah.

It's been a few days. This is my manager, Jeff Greene.

It's breath. But looks like smoke.

It's breath. But looks like smoke.

It's completely illegitimate. You mean it's fake?

It's gotta be around here, right? Is that a...

It's gotta be around here. I don't know.

It's instantaneous growth. Look at this tiny little broccoli here.

It's just so hectic. Two months?

It's like looking at your watch, really. What do you do for a living?

It's milk and coffee mixed together. Let's do that.

It's my birthday. I made a plan with him.

It's never gonna grow back. What is that?

It's news that can wait till the morning. Shut up, he's trying to work in there.

It's no good. I'll never do it.

It's not a country. It is a country.

It's not a dark secret. Larry David selling cars is not a secret?

It's not fair. She asked me to give it a haircut.

It's not. What?

It's perfect. Perfect?

It's really big. I think it's a little too big. No.

It's really good, isn't it? The shrimp is so good, I can't get over it.

It's ridiculous. Who, Coach Jackson?

It's sort of an old fashioned... Yeah, it is.

It's this ass fetish I didn't know about. I don't have any ass fetish, okay.

It's time, honey. Goodbye.

It's too big. Where do I put it? Do something, she's coming up.

It's true. This is a nice little bullshit story.

It's ugly, the haircut's ugly! Let's go, Tara.

It's unbelievable. How weird is that? She's amazing. She's spooky.

It's very important to me. We wouldn't treat you casually.

It's Wagner. Really?

It's your ticket, right? You wanna see my ticket?

It's, like, all this stuff is unfolding now. Nothing's unfolding!

Jason? Alexander.

Jeez, I can't be... I'm really shocked.

Jeff, nice to meet you. Heard a lot about you.

Jeffrey? So what you wanna be doing is...

Jeffrey? What do I do?

Jeffy, how are you? Al, how are you doing?

Jersey, originally. Yeah?

Jesus Christ. Sorry, Larry.

Judge Katz. That's a lovely building.

Judy! It's her. Yeah.

Judy. What?

Just 'cause of the wire? It was making me crazy.

Just a cup of water. I don't think it's about the river.

just come back and let me know. Okay.

just come back and let me know. Okay.

Just get a change of scenery. You don't want dessert here?

Just got to confirm a date with Julia. Okay.

just in case anything comes up. Okay.

Just like that. So, I'm thrilled that you're here.

Just sit down, honey. I gotta get him a fork.

Just sit down. It was an accident!

Just that he'd be an asset to the county. Absolutely.

Just wait right here. May I use your bathroom?

Kim psychic. What?

Lar? What's shaking?

Larry San. Hi.

Larry, aren't you gonna say goodbye? Yeah, of course I'm gonna say goodbye.

Larry, good seeing you. Good to see you, Mike.

Larry! Rick, how you doing?

Let me just take a look. No.

Let me take a guess. All right.

Let me tell you why. This isn't Jason at all.

Let's go see the rest of the place. Yeah, let's see the rest of it.

Let's go. Just one favor.

Let's just take No, I don't wanna take that car service.

Like Richard Simmons? Richard Simmons has a thong up his ass?

Like, when she was skiing. No, that's just what I said.

Listen, I didn't touch your fucking shrimp. Really?

Listen, I'm gonna check the house. Okay.

Listen. What are you...

Listen... Scattergories.

Look at all this. That's too much stuff.

Look at my doll's hair. Why did you cut her hair?

Look at that. Everything's good.

Look at this. How are you doing today?

Look at this. It's your lucky day.

Look, we You belong in Dallas, not LA.

Man, is that so? Yeah.

Maroon, yeah. It's got...

May I use your bathroom? Yeah.

Maybe I will. Good idea.

Maybe I'll call him right now. You can't call him now, it's 10:45.

Maybe you should finish it outside. Yeah, maybe I should.

Maybe you're right. You're taking her out for dinner.

Me neither. No?

Michael Halbreich? Yeah.

Mike. How are you, man?

Milk and coffee? Milk and coffee, yeah.

Milk and coffee. We can go now if you want.

Mind if I start? He said it'll just be a couple minutes.

Mommy, mommy! Tara, what is it, honey?

Mr. Weiner, maybe we should talk. Call me C.D.

Mr. Weiner, maybe we should talk. Call me C.D.

My God, thank you. Sure.

My God, that traffic. Yeah.

My God, what a drink! I want to take off.

My God! What news? You saw me on the news?

My God! What are you... I needed this.

My God. Look at this, how great is this?

My God. What happened, he hurt you?

My grandfather created the Cobb salad. Is that true?

My knee. Okay, easy.

My knee. Your knee?

My niece has it. Of course, Dick Groat.

My parents are in town. Let's see, you want some...

My penis is itching. You know what?

Naps. My God.

Never been better. Good.

Nice sweater. Thank you, it's cashmere.

Nice to meet you. Tom, sit down, man.

Nice to see you. Nice to see you. Hello.

No beach? I didn't go to the beach, no.

No problem. Great. Thanks so much.

No, how much longer? Maybe 10 to 15 more minutes.

No, I didn't. I didn't know you You know, I'm not poor.

No, I don't care. No, we haven't played this

No, I don't think so, my friend. Yes, I think so.

No, I don't want it now. Go ahead

No, I have respect for the household. Do you?

No, I need a... Just forget it.

No, I think Judy's hair was lighter. Okay, all right, I'll look.

No, I'm gonna go up. Yeah, thank you, Captain Geography.

No, I'm good. Okay.

No, I'm not a violent... Shut up!

No, isn't that great? What's he doing?

No, it looks good. Thank you.

No, it's not the timer, get out. I was gonna write it down.

No, not Fox, I don't like their politics. CBS is where I'd like to go with it.

No, of course not. You can spend the day with your wife.

No, out. Michael!

No, she says no. He's crazy.

No, that's unbelievable. Yeah, okay.

No, this is interesting, you love big asses? No, I don't love big asses.

No, wait, I just don't get it. I mean, because it's ridiculous.

No, we're 13. Can we just have our candy, please?

No, what are you kidding? No, I'm not kidding.

No, what? What are you talking about? Didn't you just wear that jacket yesterday?

No, you should. Maybe after.

No? No, my niece has it, and...

No. Can I open it?

No. Come on.

No. Did you check it after you changed it?

No. I do want to go to part two.

No. It's not TV? It's TV.

No. Me either.

No. No, I can't stand them.

No. Really?

No. Shit.

No. Why would she make up a story like that?

No. Yes, it is, of course it is.

No. Not now. Okay, thank you, Mr. David.

Not a chance. No, I'm out.

Not a religious holiday... No.

Not a surprise. I thought it was understood that...

NRDC. NRDC, whatever the hell it is.

Of course it's a cashmere sweater. Is that 100% cashmere?

Of course not. We'll talk about each other.

Of course. Really?

of trying to... Like the skiing thing.

Oh, my God! Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my God. Jesus!

Oh, my God. The doc is cheating at Scattergories?

Okay, I do. Goodbye.

Okay, pal. Bye.

Okay, Sheldon, Becky Larry, did you hear that?

Okay, thank you. Thank you very much.

Okay, thank you. Thank you very much.

Okay, we'll be a couple of hours, I guess. That's great.

Okay, what? Like, now, quickly.

Okay, why don't you go in and... Get a seat.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Are these the new suckers?

Okay. But, I'll tell you, it's exhausting.

Okay. He sends me to a masseuse...

Okay. I'd like to get to know you.

Okay. Is he a high maintenance guy?

Okay. Just have fun.

Okay. What happened at the game last night?

Okay. What?

Okay. Wish me luck.

Oversee the traffic. Yeah, that's right.

Peanut butter is not a dairy product. It's not dairy.

Peanuts are not a dairy product. Peanut butter, moo.

Pitching another show. It's exciting.

Please change it. What?

Please get up. They break them down and they cry.

Please. You have to apologize.

Plumbing, or it's settling. What? Settling?

Poor guy. Yeah.

Pricks, cunts, come on. They balance out. No, cunt's much heavier.

Promise. Who's gonna have an affair with me?

Putting a new lock in? A new lock.

Quiet, Susie can hear you. Hi, how are you?

Really beautiful. Thank you, and this is our amazing view.

Really, you're going? We'll leave you with your chaos.

Really? I never get any results.

Really? I wouldn't worry about it. It's nothing.

Really? I'm feeling pretty good.

Really? It's not for sale.

Really? Yeah, from the old country.

Really? Yeah, he's married.

Really? Yeah, it's all done.

Really? Yeah, loves it.

Really? Yeah, Susie's gotta go to New York...

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yes, okay, take care. Have a great time.

Really? Yes.

Really? Yes.

Really? Thank you very much. Hey, Larry.

Really. Yeah.

Remember me? I gave you the jacket. Hi.

Reynolds. Where is he? He's in Santa Monica.

Right now. Yeah.

Right there, what's that? Yeah, that's a bad spot.

Right this way. Thank you.

Right. Let's say she played "Evelyn," okay?

Right. Really?

Right. What do you mean, go back in?

Rob, have a seat, I'll be right in. Okay, all right.

Say hello for me. Okay, you take care, I'll talk to you later.

See this thing? Yeah.

See you at part 2? You going tonight? Yeah, maybe.

See you tonight, part 2. Right.

Sell cars. Yeah.

Shaq? Yes?

Shaq's agent. No kidding?

She has a vivid imagination. No, I'm sure she does.

She has blue eyes. You don't know the eyes.

She looks prettier. Good luck, Judy!

She may have thrown her out. No, we were just there.

She'd be happy. Yeah, she'd be very happy.

She's a liar. She's not a liar.

She's fucking nuts. Yeah, she's crazy.

She's okay with that? Yeah, she said I was a little prick.

She's wrong. She seemed very sure of it.

Shirley, that's my mother's name. Tilt wheel steering, which I really like.

Shit. Oh, my God.

Since when? I haven't played in a long time.

Sir! I'll come back another time.

Slashed the tire, yeah. Son of a bitch.

So I can Yeah, of course.

So maybe... People are right.

so we can fight for the environment. Money? You always need money.

So what? The two of us.

So you came screaming to stop it. What do I care? I don't care if he converts.

So, here's the scoop. Okay.

So, how did it go today? Pretty good.

So, I said that thing about the baptism. Yeah, Rabbi Akiva says it takes one man.

So, just hold on. No, I don't wanna do that.

So, L.D. Yeah?

So, Mickey, what do you do? I'm a dentist.

So, thank you. I appreciate it. You're very welcome, and again...

So, this is the Camry I heard about? This is the big boy, the top of the line.

So, we're probably What is a baptism anyway?

So, what are you doing these days? I'm working on a...

So, what do you do? I'm a button man.

So, what's this idea? I'm dying to hear it. All right, here's the idea.

So, you got them, right? Yeah.

So? He's on to us.

So... I don't know.

Something seems off. I don't know. All right, we brought it back.

Something to do with water? Yeah.

Something... Blue blazer and a red tie and a white shirt?

Sometimes you don't. What?

Sorry. Oh, my God.

Sorry. That's fine.

Starbucks? Wait, I'll go with you. No, I just want to get out of the house.

Stay out of the sun. Okay, thanks, Doc.

Stick it in your jacket. Jeffrey?

Stop it! My neck.

Stop. Stop?

Sure you wanna do this? I'm positive, come on.

Sure, it's the head, that's the head. Are you sure?

Sure, okay. That'd be great.

Sure, turn around. Right over here.

Sure. Go with him.

Sure. No, really honest with me.

Sure. Okay.

Sure. Okay.

Sure. Hi, Doug. Hi.

Surprise, surprise. That shocks me.

Susie's here. Shit. Come on.

Take a hike. It was an accident.

Technically, it was the waiter. So, you're the one?

Tell him what it sounds like again, Larry. It's like a camera whirring.

Tell him you went to Scientology. I need a better excuse.

Thank you for fixing Judy's hair. You're welcome.

Thank you very much for it. Okay. Here's to Larry.

Thank you. Back up, man, you're right in my face.

Thank you. Nice to see you.

Thank you. Nothing.

Thank you. Thanks.

Thank you. You didn't have to put in that much.

Thank you. You're very welcome.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. Nice to meet you

Thank you. You guys enjoy your meal. Great, we're going to.

Thanks again for Okay, bye.

Thanks for the tip. She's leaving.

Thanks. Thank you.

That can't be... The sooner the better, I'm ready to...

That depresses me. Then you shouldn't have agreed to do it.

That guy's a freak. I think I struck a chord.

That happened on your show? You don't watch my show?

That is exciting. It's the first time with an audience.

That is so beautiful. So romantic.

That is so ridiculous. Why is it ridiculous?

That must've been awkward. Yeah, it was pretty awkward.

That was a little dicey. Yeah, you know, I knew we had them.

That was great, thank you. You're welcome.

That was quite a poker game. Yes.

That was wonderful. Congratulations!

That'd be an honor. Larry, would you like to do that?

That's a load off my mind, I'll tell you. It's a shame, though.

That's a pretty interesting idea. You think so?

That's an adventure. That's an adventure?

That's comforting. He's really obnoxious.

That's crazy. I know. It's insane.

That's fine. Good. Yeah.

That's great! One week? I can't believe it!

That's it, just got to wash my hands. Thank you.

That's Judy. No, it's not Judy!

That's kind of sad. Sad? What are you, crazy?

That's my claim, yeah. Allegedly.

That's my message! I wrote it in Paris!

That's nice. Yeah, Cheryl's sister is getting married.

That's no problem, I can just do that. It makes perfect sense to me.

That's not Judy! Suite: Judy Brown Eyes.

That's pretty amazing. But you're a Knick fan.

That's ridiculous. They think you're a misogynist.

That's sexist to me, come on. Michael Halbreich took a leave of absence.

That's the one. I've been dying to hear this.

That's the wife. You did good. Excuse me, you did good.

That's true. I couldn't do that.

That's true. That's me who does that?

That's very... He'll appreciate it. I was actually just coming to drop them off.

That's Walter. Walter?

That's what I like to hear. This is a joke, right?

That's what it was. I got it.

That's who she's talking to. That's Lane Michaelson's wife?

That's why I see it for you. Yeah, all right, I like this idea a lot.

That's why we got you a birthday gift. He told us it was your birthday.

That's wonderful. Thank you.

Thataway, Jojo. Get in there. Shut...

The amount of sleep that I've lost What are you doing here?

The court date is on the back. Okay.

The doctor? Yeah, the doctor.

The food was sensational. Excellent.

The hole in one psychic? I told you about that?

The Lakers' season starting up tomorrow. That's right.

The limo guy? Yeah.

The little girl. She got the doll. Beautiful.

The lock's not working. I know. I had to go get some parts.

The president? Yeah.

The salad stuff? Yeah.

The ticket. What ticket?

The timer didn't run out, you cheated. It's the timer.

the triangle and the square and... Thank you.

The two of us? Any interest in that?

The whole pitch. Yeah, the whole pitch.

Then the next day? Yes.

then we could... But it's not all about just the dessert.

Then we failed, let's have that meeting. We're having that meeting right now.

There he is. There he is. Okay, let's get going.

There's a surprise party in that house. Honey.

There's no lock on that bathroom door. I know.

There's nothing about me. Yeah, I didn't know you had this ass fetish.

There's only one way to take it. No, if she had a small ass...

There's other networks, right? This is not the end of the world, HBO.

There's something wrong with me. That's the question.

There's usually more than that. There's usually, like, 10.

They don't look good! I'm tucking in now!

They were in a hurry. It's a little rude, you know?

They were your garlic noodles. Right.

They're not home. They're not home?

They're not jeans, they're corduroy pants. That's the same thing

They're not real, though. So what? They're in the sky.

They're ready for you guys now. Then here we go then.

Thirteen? Yeah.

This goes on forever. I know.

This is a beautiful hotel. Isn't it a beauty? Yeah, it's lovely.

This is a big night. Yeah! It is.

This is a practical joke, right? A practical joke? I'm sorry.

This is cutting edge. I don't need this crap.

This is gorgeous. Yeah, it's very nice. Look at this.

This is lovely. Did you hear this guy?

This is so stupid. Why is it stupid?

This is the head? That's Judy.

This is unbelievable. Yeah, parking is hard to find at the airport.

This is yours. Okay, thank you.

This isn't a baby. It's still good news.

This new Larry. What's the matter?

this weird number on me Try and put that on the swiss if you can.

This'll be great. Monday morning. You got it. Great.

This'll be his and this'll be yours. These two, right here?

Thor Oleson. That sounds familiar.

Thor, yeah. Big tall guy.

Three... No, almost, actually four years.

Time to stop. No!

To the beach? No, to the therapist

Told you he was smart. What's the score? All right, now he has 26.

Tom sold me my Toyota Sequoia. Toyota of Hollywood?

Too much turmoil for them, huh? Yeah.

Too much work? You have to work. It's a pain in the ass, I can't do it.

Toyota of Hollywood, yeah. You're a car dealer?

Trick or treat! Look at you.

Very cute. I have it in blue, too.

Very good, thank you. My pleasure

Very good. Yes.

Very spacious. Beautiful.

Wait, no! Larry! You little bitch

Want some noodles? Get some of this kung pao shrimp.

Was it going to the beach that did it? I didn't go to the beach.

Was it? Yeah.

Wasserman? Yeah.

We can get the short haired Judy back. Yeah.

We can make you a latte here. I'm okay, thank you.

We don't have them. They were stolen.

We got our orders mixed up. God.

We gotta finish it. Finish it? I did it. I did what I said I'd do.

We had already made plans. That's all right.

We have tickets for that flight. Can I see the tickets, please?

We just can't cut right in front. This is an exception.

We just kind of... You'll have to excuse me...

We probably won't even run into him. We have the meeting with CBS today.

We should get out of here. Yeah.

We should have sex sometime. Yes, we should.

We'll go over the show, and... That's so good.

We'll just attach it. Attach the head.

We'll see. My elbow is killing me.

We're delighted. Thank you.

We're fine. We're fine?

We're finished. That's it?

We're gonna celebrate your CBS deal. It's not even

We're having a meal. We're having a good time...

What a nice little theater. Yeah, it's beautiful.

What about the beach? I don't like the beach in particular.

What are you doing here? I just came to apologize for last night...

What are you doing here? Is that 100% cashmere?

What are you doing home so early? I got fired.

What are you doing? I was looking for the guy.

What are you doing? My penis itches me.

What are you insinuating? He's not saying that.

What are you saying? Dairy is from a cow.

What are you saying? That's common knowledge?

What can I do? Can I do anything? Buy the team.

What did you have? I am afraid to say I had an ace high.

What did you have? I had a 6 and a 10.

What do I care? What if I'm good at it? Excuse me.

What do you do? Do you know who he is?

What do you do? I do a lot of work for the NRDC.

What do you drive? I drive a Prius.

What do you got, big guy? Peanut butter.

What do you mean two or three days? What do you care?

What do you mean? We both got the same dish.

What do you say? Come on, we'll do CBS It's just that it's tiring. This has been tiring.

What do you wanna do? We don't have time to stand in line.

What does that mean? The whole car selling thing.

What else does Cheryl like to do? She likes the outdoors.

What happened? I had an epiphany.

What happened? It's a long story.

What have you been up to? Nothing.

What if you're good at it? Yeah.

What is that supposed to mean? I want you, I don't want you to be a Jew.

What is that? It's benign, it's from the sun.

What is that? What do you think that is?

What is this? A little bit of a line.

What is this? Is this garlic noodles? That does not look like kung pao shrimp.

What is wrong with him? We were having a discussion.

What is wrong with you? Why? What?

What kind of analysis? Does nothing.

What makes perfect sense? This is your daughter.

What other colors... This is a fucking work of art.

What situation did you put yourself in? It's all our friends.

What the hell are you talking about? What am I talking about?

What the hell is he doing? Nothing.

What was your epiphany? I'm ready to terminate.

What you did is a very gutsy thing. No, I didn't do anything.

What, are you kidding? So, his act is pretty close to...

What, I thought... Yeah.

What, you don't believe me? Would you mind if I check the label?

What, you think he's gonna hurt you? Yeah, I do.

What? 'Cause I like to have blubber for breakfast.

What? I got the guy.

What? Let's fool around.

What? The check.

What? The garlic noodles?

What? Those are golf clothes.

What? What are you saying...

What? You know what?

What... Stay out of the sun.

What's going on here? With this guy, what's going on?

What's going on? We're leaving.

What's going on? What's going on?

What's he doing? He's just kind of settling in.

What's it about? It's a little bit of an adventure..

What's new? Well, not too much.

What's the big deal? Come on, man.

What's the doll's name? Judy? Yeah.

What's the trick threat? The trick or treat.

What's this thing? That?

What's with the outfit? It's Casual Friday.

What's wrong with that? What's wrong? It's because it's not fair.

What's your name? Shirley.

Whatever you want. I need Lincoln approval.

When did that happen? Past few weeks.

When? I don't know!

Where are we? I've lost... I'm out, she's out.

Where are you guys going? Hi.

Where are you guys going? We're on our way back.

Where you going? I'm going to Monterey.

Where's Jeff? I don't know.

which I did, but, you know... But that wasn't so...

Which one? Right there.

Who are you talking to? Wanda.

Who are you that the rules don't apply? I'm applying the golden rule. Are you?

Who is this? L.D.

Who told you that? Who told me that? It's common knowledge.

Who was that? I got lucky. My wife.

Who would send you flowers? I don't know.

Who would send you flowers? I don't know.

Who you talking to? Alan.

Who? Kim.

Who's Kazu? The acupuncturist.

Whoever loses has to match the pot. We keep betting until people drop out.

Why are you wearing those clothes? I like the way they look.

Why can't we play golf? I'll come by in the morning

Why did you keep putting money down? Because they didn't stop me.

Why didn't you wear it? You got yours on?

Why is cunt heavier? I never questioned, it just is.

Why not? I've been auctioned off for some charity.

Why would you cheat at Scattergories? A doctor.

Why'd you get fired? I got 86ed.

Will you guard the door while I go? Sure.

With the head, just the head? That's fine.

Wood. Wood grain is not going to stop us from...

Working. Really?

Would she miss the doll if No, my daughter's not gonna care.

Would you like a Fisherman's Friend? Yeah, sure.

Would you like to have a seat, sir? Yeah, in a minute.

Would you like to try one? No.

Wow! Yeah. Holy, what a

Wrestling's fixed. What do you mean?

Yeah, but I mean... The people'd love to be sitting...

Yeah, do you have that? My St. Anthony's...

Yeah, excellent. You know what, I think we'll take the bill

Yeah, good to see you

Yeah, he getting a massage. Right.

Yeah, hi, I'm Jim. Hi, I'm Larry.

Yeah, hi, I'm Jim. Hi, I'm Larry.

Yeah, hi, Michael. Larry, nice to see you again.

Yeah, I believe you. This is my show night jacket.

Yeah, I don't think so. You think?

Yeah, I owe you big. I need to take you up on it.

Yeah, I see him. Yeah, that's my therapist.

Yeah, I thought she was working. Me, too.

Yeah, I wish. Thanks.

Yeah, I won $300 off Doc Wiggins. Beautiful, see you later.

Yeah, I'll be there. Yeah, okay, great.

Yeah, it was easy. I thought you had to be here.

Yeah, it's right I know, it's right over here.

Yeah, looking over the traffic. Didn't you envy bus drivers?

Yeah, me, too, actually. Same. Okay.

Yeah, of course I did. Me?

Yeah, okay. Larry, come on.

Yeah, right. I have my own ticket.

Yeah, Seinfeld. What did you do?

Yeah, sure. We'll go, sure.

Yeah, they're back from the Galapagos. It was nice meeting you guys, thank you.

Yeah, you did a great job. Yeah, now I'd take her out.

Yeah, you're gonna like that. If you could sign right here, please.

Yeah, you're more versatile. Versatile.

Yeah? Yeah, don't you think?

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Yes.

Yeah? You really are.

Yeah. And you had treats.

Yeah. Can I play?

Yeah. Gotta make the nice.

Yeah. Great.

Yeah. Great.

Yeah. I saw Susie walk in over there.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Shaq loves your show.

Yeah. She looks much prettier.

Yeah. Should I call you Mr. President?

Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. They can't do that.

Yeah. Watch it on TV.

Yeah. What happened?

Yeah. What's a house sound?

Yeah. What's the name right here?

Yeah. Yeah, miraculous recovery he had?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not working?

Yeah. You play an actress...

Yes, absolutely. And to the Lakers.

Yes, at the house. Anne wants to see you, so please.

Yes, from upstairs. Yeah.

Yes, good to see you again. Good to see you again.

Yes, how's your back? Okay, Barry, come on, let's go.

Yes, I'm a doctor. Could you do me a favor?

Yes, I'm so excited. You're going back to that psychic?

Yes, of course, we have a tub. We can fill the tub up.

Yes, sir, how can I help you? We got the wrong order here.

Yes, very. Hi, how are you?

Yes, we kissed and made up. This is the unfortunate shrimp incident?

Yes, we were just... It's awfully big.

Yes. Yes.

You always put in 11? We have a very strict policy about that.

You are an ass man. I am not.

You are gonna do all of it? I will do the whole thing.

You aren't? No.

You can go in there. Okay.

You cost me a customer. I cost you...

You could do that, honey. Yeah.

You did? I got the boot!

You did. It's very funny.

You do? Yeah, I like it.

You do? Yes.

You don't even have a stepfather. I just thought it was a better lie.

You don't have a stepfather. But I didn't like the implication.

You don't have to do that, I got it. I got it, it's my job.

You don't know sometimes. Good evening.

You don't know what a baptism is? I have no idea.

You don't mind? No, that will be fine.

You don't need to... I need a bathing suit, right?

You don't play golf anymore? No.

You don't think so? No.

You don't watch it, why do you care? I'm just making conversation.

You don't? No.

You ever get one of these? No, what are these?

You gave $5,000 to the acupuncturist? Yeah.

you get back in touch with them and... Are you over it now?

You got candy? Hello.

You got me confused with somebody else. I don't think so.

You got the cell phone? Yeah.

You got to be able to see him. I know, I know.

You have an ass man. What are you saying?

You have to talk to him. Shit.

You haven't even eaten your pie yet? I'm waiting for you.

You hear me? Yes, sir.

You hear me? Yes, sir.

You just shouldn't talk about... What's the big deal?

You kidding? It's Halloween.

You knew he had a heart condition. I didn't

You know what "Tippecanoe" was? No.

You know what I mean? What do you mean, a page?

You know what you are? What am I?

You know what? I think I'm ready to buy. No kidding.

You know what's going on. I know what's going on.

You know, noises that a house makes? Houses make noises?

You know, they were fine. Yeah? Good.

You know. No, frankly, I don't know.

You like that? Yeah.

You liked that? Yeah. I mean, my God!

You look good tucked in. I'm rarely tucked in.

You look good, though. I didn't get outfit approval tonight

You look pretty, too. I'm a pretty little girl.

You look terrible. It's awful.

You look very snazzy. Yeah?

You murdered my uncle for $5,000. Come on, please.

You need to get rid of him. Okay, all right.

You never know. I'm related to King David. Really?

You promise me now. I promise you.

You remember Barry's father? I sure do. How you doing?

You remember my dad? Yeah.

You seem agitated today

You shouldn't be allowed... Who cares?

You sure it wasn't Dick Groat? Yeah, I'm pretty sure

You sure it's not the ocean? It's not the ocean, I know the ocean.

You sure want a Cobb salad? You should get something else.

You sure? Okay, I'll be right back. Let's go to Shutters and get dessert there.

You talking to me? Yeah.

You think he'll like it? He loves it, it's his favorite show.

You think he's an idiot? It's the classic barnacle.

You think I didn't notice you? Okay.

You think I'm kinky? Do you think you're kinky?

You think she's got a Judy doll? Sounds familiar. I'm not positive.

You think so? I know we can get away with that.

You think that's a good look? I think it's a good color for me, yeah.

You think? I do, yeah.

You told him what? I told him I was happy.

You wanna end the deal because of this? Yeah, I do.

You wanna switch? Yeah, you can do some.

You want to answer that question? Because I wouldn't let him.

You want to play another game? Doc.

You write it, and I'll say it. The game is...

You'll be all right here? I'll be fine.

You'll come right back. Yeah.

You'll have it before then. By Thursday?

You'll see, okay, fine. I'll tell you what. Come by...

You'll think about it? I definitely will

You're a lucky bastard. I am, I'm very lucky.

You're a self loathing Jew. Am I?

You're amazing. You're a hero.

You're an environmentalist? I am. I guess you could say that.

You're fired, get out. I didn't cheat at anything.

You're going back out there? I gotta give the guy a fork.

You're going? Yeah, I'll pick you up, we'll go together.

You're gonna make me late. I've got a lump.

You're Joel Reynolds? Yes, I am.

You're kidding, really? We're two months into it.

You're not wearing that. What, why?

You're not working today? Yeah, I'm going back right now.

You're nuts. All right.

You're nuts. You want me to wait outside?

You're what? We're leaving.

You've done something rotten. What is this?

You've gotta make the nice. How's the stepfather doing?

Your father left you money before he died? Yes, he did.

Your wife? Yes.

...and she's sitting there.

...romantic idea, don't you think?

...to do something that you put your heart and soul into.

...unless it's some kind of huge emergency.

...when he's one of the great anti Semites of the world.

...when you're right there and looking at it...

'Cause a lot of psychics, they hold back on the bad stuff.

'Cause believe me, I could talk anybody into anything.

'Cause he told me it was your birthday.

'cause he was very excited all the time, is that it?

'cause her mom's sick, and I gotta watch the kid.

'Cause I don't wanna make him feel bad. Why should I say I'm going out?

'Cause I feel like I want a cup of coffee after I eat dinner.

'Cause I listened to her.

'Cause I wrote some really laudatory things about your work...

'Cause if you make up a lie about a stepfather...

'Cause if you make up a lie about a stepfather...

'Cause it's really bothering me.

'Cause of what you said to Halbreich.

'Cause sometimes they can be very subtle costumes.

'cause the guy's lying about a cashmere sweater.

'cause we actually need another couple.

'Cause we have two cars.

'cause you 2 sickos...

'cause you know how many different things you can do.

'Cause you're a pussy. I'm just being frank.

"14 THOR?"

"a guy name Jeremy, who's somewhat of an acquaintance.

"about Groat's syndrome, maybe then I would agree to give the money."

"and geometric figures that are quite moving."

"And he draws beautiful concentric circles...

"and I took 12 pumps and I stopped 'cause I love you."

"and Rave." Is it Rav?

"And we have, Corolla, Canola...

"Can I get you some coffee?"

"Can I help you?"

"Cocksucker."

"Come on, yeah, come on, yeah, fuck you!

"Dear County Board.

"Dear LA County Museum.

"Eat lobster, have some more lobster, it's good."

"Elaine, Elaine, are you Elaine?"

"Enjoy these beautiful orchids. Kazu."

"Evelyn, Evelyn." It'll be on the series.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Cantor, we've got homework.

"Excuse me, sir, perhaps the Land Cruiser would interest you.

"get more involved and show that he really cared...

"Happy Birthday To You."

"He is nothing like that character."

"Hello, how you doing?" "How are you?" "Good."

"Hey, Evelyn."

"Hey, jackass!"

"Hi, how are you? Nice to see you. Take care, bye."

"How's it going with you?" "Good."

"I don't play golf." Look at that shirt.

"I stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor.

"I'll find out his last name and write back to you."

"I'm from Jersey, I'm the Jersey guy."

"I'm going to a hotel, don't call me."

"I'm gonna give you this money anyway, after I die.

"I'm Jersey guy.

"I'm writing on behalf of Jeremy..."

"It feels good to me."

"It's good, it's good"? You know, it's not only where you live.

"Judy! Judy! Judy!"

"Let me ask his wife to screw me

"Let me give you some now."

"Loose fat, as fast as you can."

"maybe he could make it up to you that way."

"Mr. Expert in somebody else's field."

"No treat? Trick."

"No, fuck you!"

"Now, don't bring any pens or pencils in."

"Oh, I'm going out, going golfing, or horseback riding..."

"Okay, take it easy."

"Pago Pago, and Provolone."

"Scarlet letter punishment"?

"Something funny," she said. Is it lined paper?

"Stop and chat?" Where do you come up with these things?

"Suite: Judy Brown Eyes," I said it in my head.

"That's right, yeah, come on!

"That's something or nothing."

"The Cobb salad was created at the legendary Brown Derby in Hollywood."

"the Groat's syndrome talent show...

"This is a letter of recommendation for a guy named...

"Tippecanoe and Tyler, too."

"What idiot runs ABC?"

"What the fuck"? That's some language for a 13 year old girl.

"What's wrong with me?" is the question.

"Where did you get the rash?"

"Who am I?" you're saying to yourself.

"You can't imagine what a great actor this guy is.

"You don't know me! Yeah, you all go fuck yourself!

"You forgot to give us homework."

"You got a really big ass," it's the same.

"You're ******* and that's okay."

$110?

$115, what'd you have?

$25, $30? $30 to change a tire.

$35 to change this tire for me, right now.

$60, or what, I don't know, $80? What did you have?

$90, how's that, is that good? Is $90 good?

3:00, okay? All right, I'll see you then.

35, 40. As high as you can get. As high as I can get.

52. 52 in the city.

100%. It's nice, yeah.

100%%. You had the big breakthrough?