The Mindy Project - Season 2 Edit

A ass model.

A lot.

About as much as she can handle.

Actually, I realize that

Admit to me that you are not this cool player

After you use it, it's like no one used it.

Ah, Danny. What am I gonna do?

Ah, hi. I manage a teeth whitening clinic in Chelsea.

Ah, that's good. Now, put a winky face on it.

Ah! You can't leave until

All right, look.

All right.

All right. Okay, let go. Danny.

All right. Well, talk to you later.

All the very interesting things they do,

Already taken care of.

Although it will be painful to hear it.

Amy, do you mind waiting here for one second?

Amy, I want to thank you for your honesty,

An ass model... Yeah.

And he's out of my league.

And I don't know how to change it back.

And I owe it all to you. Okay, bye.

And I suspect it's a lanolin allergy,

And I wouldn't be in this situation.

And I'll go in the other room with my Ludlum.

And I'm gonna do it.

And nice, so why not cut to the chase?

And one thing led to another...

And that is why my brother has no hair

And that you wish someone could help clean them.

And that your boobs are dirty

And that's where we cup with this guy.

And then I got chocolate syrup on that.

And then there were times when

And thought I wouldn't notice.

And we made love.

And we should talk about it.

And we'll, uh, be good.

And yes, I turned it over.

And you can't get on my computer,

And you got scared off.

And, um, you're super catholic, right?

And, while deeply saddened by this, I think I'm gonna

Apologize to our baby.

Are you in a relationship with each other or not?

Are you kidding me? A winky face?

Are you sure? [Phone chimes]

Are you watching the nature channel?

Argh! Bastard.

As a barometer for how I should dress.

Because I know they have mattresses back there.

Because the last time, you changed my WiFi network name

Being busy is not an excuse.

But Danny, if you rinse a toothbrush

But he's on a date.

But I can't miss an event like this.

But I guess I kept it going on so long because...

But that night, we fell in love.

But tonight, I'll fin...

But ultimately, I think it was worth it.

But we're just so excited.

But what? Who's the next victim?

But whenever we see each other, we fight and argue.

But why? [Screams] Oh!

Bye, guys. Okay.

Call it fate,

Can we go out there and tell her to go, please?

Can you please check lost and found for my purse.

Chloe Silverado.

Chloe, Mindy... What is going on here?

Chloe. I'm... my name is Chloe, Danny.

Chris farley appeared to me and said,

Cliff gets into a very sexy text situation with a girl

Cliff Gilbert, from... from down the hall.

Cliff Gilbert.

Cliff Gilbert. Your friend, the attorney.

Cliff is a normal guy. His life is really boring.

Come back here.

Come in, you. This is a beautiful overcoat.

Come on.

Come on. Just... can you please?

Come.

Communal dining table.

Creature feature.

Daddy likes.

Damn it.

Daniel, is this true?

Danny had sex with me while you were pregnant.

Danny never looked at me like that.

Danny, can we just go to bed now, please?

Danny, Danny, I'm so scared.

Danny, you smell good. Is that cologne?

Danny?

Danny? Danny.

Did she send me those texts or not?

Did you guys kill her? Did you kill her?

Did you lose your phone?

Do me a favor, hold my hand, okay?

Do you know how the windmill works?

Do you want to come back to my place?

Doing that Easter egg hunt.

Don't worry.

Eh, we'll figure it out.

Especially since Doug became desiree.

Even if I liked him, it doesn't matter.

Family's so important to us.

Few and far between. Danny?

Fine. Okay, so I definitely liked you,

Fine. Yes, I guess I get a little lonely sometimes.

First night, we wanted to kill each other.

For someone who is just a hook up.

Forgot about him. I forgot about him.

Friday night date night.

Friday night is a date night.

Get in here man. Come on. Come on.

Get to texting. Winky face. Winky face.

Get your legs off me now. This has gone far enough.

Girls have to lean in, so their boobs look bigger.

Got any big plans tonight?

Got to get started on baby number two,

Great party. I wish we'd gotten to chat more.

Great, so you have experience sleeping on couches.

Great. Cozy.

Green key weekend, Junior year.

Guess my laundry's getting folded tomorrow.

Guess what?

Have a good night. See you.

He didn't even want to have sex.

He was lonely...

He would have come and picked me up tonight

He'd like to tell you.

He'd never be interested in me.

He's into her. Watch this.

He's like, 50?

He's with the second hottest woman in the universe.

Heather!

Her.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, cliff is about to leave.

Hey, hey. That's very offensive.

Hey, I think I talked to everyone at the party,

Hey, what are you... What are you doing in here?

Hey, what's wrong with you?

Hey! Hi. Hi...

Hey! Oh, my God.

Hey.

Hi, cli...

Hi, Mindy. Morgan.

Hi. I'm Heather.

Hi. It's, ah, Morgan.

His beautiful, perfect blue eyes?

Hit man, bro.

Hold the door please.

Hold the door. Hey.

How about that?

How long have you guys been together then?

How when my mom was my age,

How you acted just now.

How you been?

Huh? Huh?

Huh.

I admit it. I farted.

I can't pay, because I don't have my wallet.

I did it because I was scared, and it was wrong

I didn't read it.

I do, in fact.

I do.

I do...

I don't have time to look

I don't know if very pregnant

I don't smell good.

I don't think so.

I don't want to see your drinks just laying about.

I don't... What are you doing?

I farted again.

I feel a little weird telling you, actually.

I feel like I must hear every detail,

I feel like you've been avoiding me.

I give her my bed and then, like, I sleep on the couch.

I give this party a C.

I have to be alone with my thoughts?

I just hope my parents don't mind

I just want to get to know you better.

I just wanted to update you... Cliff and I hung out last night

I knew it! I knew cliff was into Dr. L.

I love that you said that.

I love this.

I mean it.

I might quickly fold my laundry.

I need you to delete those texts before Mindy sees them.

I should just spend the night at your place.

I think it is.

I think it'd be better if you read your book in here

I think my fiancee has heard

I think you should know, he's not out of your league.

I think you're really cool and, you know,

I think you're right.

I want you to stay on that elevator.

I was cool, I thought.

I was gonna fold my laundry,

I was very comfortable lying in your bed.

I will say that I am happy you came by.

I would never have sex with you

I would never say that. Yes, he did.

I wrapped it up with blankets and I thought

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little turned on myself.

I'd have to share Greece with you though.

I'll be right back.

I'm a teeth whitener...

I'm cold, Danny.

I'm gonna go clean up.

I'm never gonna find anyone.

I'm performing a c section and then I'm going home

I'm so happy for you guys. It's such a romantic story.

I'm so sorry, angel.

I'm so... I'm so sorry, buddy.

I'm sorry, baby.

I'm sorry, I never got your name.

I'm sorry. Sorry.

I'm sorry... wha... Wait, what?

I'm... How you say it?

I've been told that by, like, ten different guys.

I've ever heard in my life.

I've had these red itchy hives along my ribcage

If I had a boyfriend or a husband,

If I wanted to kill Mindy, I wouldn't do it myself.

If our texting thing got a little intense

If you and I pooled our money together,

If you think you can handle it.

In an elevator... all three of which are deal breakers.

Is how I would describe me, but okay.

Is Mindy here?

Is she dead because of you?

It doesn't matter. Let's just go to your place.

It has my wallet and my keys and my phone in it.

It is possible. I think it could be possible.

It is unbelievable. It's so messed up.

It makes me so happy I don't live in those places.

It truly and profoundly will not.

It was a blood diamond and we had to give it back to Africa.

It was painful, for sure,

It was very painful, but it was good and... so we're gonna...

It won't, okay?

It's about... Something else.

It's all about reminding working women that

It's all messed up over there.

It's Chloe. Chloe Silverado.

It's crazy. I...

It's deodorant. Whatever. Leave me alone.

It's getting raunchy.

It's just weird, because you're an attorney,

It's like that book, lean in.

It's my crazy neighbor. I hooked up with her.

It's not your time yet.

It's too early to tell people,

It's you. What?

It's, you know, friday night. Date night.

Just delete those texts.

Just don't check the zipper compartment.

Know what I mean? [Chuckles]

Lean in, by Sheryl Sandberg?

Let's play again. Let's play again.

Let's, ah... we're gonna head up... upstairs.

Like this triple word score.

Listen, I just want to say that I apologize

Look, I did the math.

Looking like this.

Man, it's like there was a Taylor Swift song called

Manny is in charge of the lost and found,

Maybe I was a little lonely.

Me too, if that will make you feel better.

Melted chocolate off my butt.

Mindy does this for him, cliff gets hooked for good...

Mindy won't know anything about it.

Mindy, you look like you've been working hard.

Mindy?

Mindy?

Mindy? It's cliff.

Mindy's someone he works with.

Morgan thinks we'd be great together,

Morgan, come on. Think about it.

Morgan, I've been working non stop.

My butt is buzzing.

My favorite hobby is also activities. You're so loud.

My normal, glamorous self.

No commitment, no long hair in the drain.

No finding my toothbrush wet because someone used it

No way.

No, don't... I like this side smooth.

No, I think he's younger than you.

No, I'm sorry, Dr. prentice. I can't do this.

No, it's not about that.

No, no, no. Call one of your friends.

No, not about that.

No, not here. Not in my bed. Out there.

No.

No. He found true love.

No... um, yeah. No!

Now that I'm here, I really... I just, I don't know...

Of all the things frogs do,

Of course. Yes!

Oh yeah. Okay, this is real.

Oh, as a friend, I got to tell you,

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy...

Oh, Danny, do you get lonely some...?

Oh, Doris. Doris.

Oh, dude. She's got texts.

Oh, God. Don't go over there.

Oh, God. It's happening. It's happening.

Oh, he is? His eyes are kind of...

Oh, he's answering a question with a question.

Oh, hey. What's up?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought, ah...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That's how I know you.

Oh, my God. This is Dr. L's bag.

Oh, my... I aspirated on my own vomit.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. My hippo was the hungriest.

Oh, there you are.

Oh, whoa. Gee, he's fast.

Oh...

Okay, Amy, I'm gonna need my key back now.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, I need you to stop using

Okay, I spilled red wine on your sofa cushion.

Okay, I'm Italian. I like to cook.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Okay, it's getting late.

Okay, Morgan.

Okay, no, I'm sorry.

Okay, stop admitting things to me.

Okay, that's enough. That's enough.

Okay, that's inappropriate, all right? I don't know why we have to come out here.

Okay, we'll see you later. Oh.

Okay, you don't have to scream at me.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay. No, no, no.

Okay. Wait.

Okay. Yep, I can see how it wouldn't

On the floor.,

On the left side of his body.

Or I will kill you.

Or if I see photos of the first family

Or you'll sue us.

Or, briefly, Maria shriver, before she was like,

Pancakes? Blueberry.

Perhaps I was being disingenuous.

Plastic bag labeled emergency underwear.

Please, Danny.

Plus, you are clearly very pregnant.

Purse, you're here!

**** whistle,

Right.

Rule number two: Coasters, coasters, coasters.

Seat me anywhere except next to this jerk.

Second night, I told the maitre D',

She had your key? Yeah.

She has a lot more to be angry about than I do.

She was probably just a child bride.

She wouldn't miss her annual veterans day party.

She'll just text him back tomorrow.

She's already married and I was, like, five years old.

She's obsessed with me.

Short version? We met in St. Barths.

So Chloe, how much do you know about your fiancée?

So Danny probably told you I was crazy, right?

So here's what I need you guys to do.

So I was gonna go.

So that sounds pretty good.

So that's, like, officially a thing now?

So vigorous and titillating it is said to have inspired...

So we have a lot that we need to work on.

So, you were spending most nights together?

So...

Some single guys... Single girls?

Stick with Danny, like Hilary or Huma, or Silda,

Stop! And stop farting, okay?

Sure. Ah, I'm gonna grab you a pillow for the couch.

Tell him you're taking a bath

Tell it to him.

Thank you for saying that, Danny.

Thank you, cliff.

That even though we were seducing you for our coworker,

That goes a little too far.

That guy and you,

That is cornering everybody in endless conversations.

That is such a quick reply.

That is the most amazing story

That means she's either stuck up, dead, or living

That our blood line is gonna die with me.

That was a lot harder than it needed to be.

That's exactly how I envision it going down.

That's from cliff.

That's impossible. It's ingrained.

That's interesting,

That's like emoji porn.

That's not what's happening here though.

That's very nice of you to say.

The film of lies or...

The hell was that, you dweeb?

The most exciting text I got from you all night

The one you work with.

The only number I have memorized is my thai place.

The population has become increasingly

There is a sociopath here, and it's not Amy, Danny.

They have to look hot, too.

They're close together, aren't they?

They're not gonna let me spend the night,

This is way too many letters, man.

This is what...

This nerd is horned up.

To give myself an allergy test.

To leave Miley alone

Ugh...

Uh huh. Right. Sparkle tooth concepts.

Um, I just think you're cute

Um... [Clears throat]

Until one night,

Wait a second.

Wait, what?

Wait, who did you think I was talking about?

Wait, why am I doing this? I'm the rich one...

Was the first one.

We could buy Greece.

We did. [Sighs]

We gave it back.

We get confused all the time, so...

We got a padded bra, men's deodorant...

We met through mutual friends at the resort's

We need to introduce him to this chick

We need to talk about this.

We need to talk. Okay.

We were spending most nights together and...

We're actually having a pretty cool event in here.

We're both just searching for what's underneath

We're just a couple in love with each other.

Well, it is pretty exciting.

Well, there is someone, but...

Well, well, well. Cliff, the lawyer from our building.

Well, yeah, you know?

What about you?

What about your brother, Rishi?

What are you gonna do, right?

What are you guys doing tonight?

What are you talking about?

What is this?

What is this?

What the hell?

What?

What?

What? No, but, I love you.

What? No, no, no.

What? No. No, no, no.

What? What? Nothing. Nothing.

What? You're all dreamy.

When I get home, I'm gonna call cliff and ask him out.

Which is so unfair,

Who can just hook up with whoever.

Who... who's Mindy?

Whoa. Oh.

Why did you make me watch that? Let go.

Why don't you keep talking, and then I'll catch up,

Why don't you stay at a hotel?

Winky face!

Winky face. Perfect.

With his fiancee, which is me.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Yana and I are going to dinner and a play.

Yana was runner up to miss universe this year.

Yana, what do you do?

Yeah, and in the morning, he'd make pancakes.

Yeah, he'd call someone like me and I would do it.

Yeah, I know... Whoa.

Yeah, I'm with child. It's a boy.

Yeah, it's about how, you know,

Yeah, let's call it a night.

Yeah, let's go through it.

Yeah, Mindy's here.

Yeah, no, no, no, you're...

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, that's the point.

Yeah, you did.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right, let's go.

Yeah. Chloe. Chloe.

Yeah. Different beds.

Yeah. Where's your ring?

Yeah... I mean, just for a second.

Yes, that's what I just said.

Yes, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yes, you look great, by the way.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. But first, you need to make this right.

Yes. How are you? Good.

Yes. If a girl doesn't respond to me immediately,

Yes...

You and me. Okay?

You do not get off of here until you think about

You do not make pancakes

You got to text him back right now.

You have bigger things to worry about, my friend,

You have met my friend, Heather. Oh!

You have the best stories. He's the best listener.

You know that guy you were telling me about?

You know what? It's already my favorite song.

You know what? Yeah?

You know, but look...

You know, feminism nowadays,

You know, he just wanted to eat

You know, I actually think I'm gonna take off, man.

You know, I have had a very frustrating evening,

You know, I was just thinking about

You know, I'm not even the second hottest person

You know, if it's a little drizzly out

You know, maybe we'll get a bite to eat sometime.

You know, me, you, and Mindy, we'll just do our thing.

You know, that happened to me once, for real.

You know, you implied you were bad at this game.

You live around here.

You look terrible.

You looked so pretty.

You love dropping towels on the floor.

You should, uh, check it out.

You shouldn't go through her stuff.

You tweeted that yesterday.

You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?

You were so good in the Interview.

You were.

You'd just blame it on your maid.

You're a lucky woman, Chloe Silverado.

You're always crushing on some cheeseball.

You're gonna show me this? No.

You're great.

You're supposed to be together.

You're welcome.

Your ability to have sex with me

Your ability to hear your doorbell?

Your competence is a double edged sword?

Your computer?

'Cause we work in the same place

'cause when my cousin comes to visit me,

(Amy) So you're engaged.

(Amy) Yeah.

(Both) No!

(Both) So...

(Both) Yes!

(Cliff) Is Indy still on that salsa run?

(Cliff) Oh, my goodness, Dr. Lahiri.

(Cliff) Winky face.

(Danny) It's so much better being single.

(Heather) Hi, Mindy, it's Heather.

(Male narrator on TV) A thrilling sex ritual

(Male narrator on TV) Throughout the entire African subcontinent,

(Mindy) Amy, Danny has something

(Mindy) Call it a night.

(Mindy) I can't believe the only snack you had is sugar cubes.

(Mindy) I can't stop talking when I'm scared.

(Mindy) I really don't like scary movies.

(Mindy) Look at... of course.

(Mindy) So Danny was kind of a sex freak, huh?

(Mindy) That's very nice.

(Mindy) Winky face.

(Mindy) You know, Danny, at this point,

(Morgan) I would like you to know oh, my God.

(Woman on television) I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[Both laughing]

[Both laughing]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles] No.

[Claps] Make it so.

[Classical music playing]

[Elevator dings]

[Gasps] Ah! Okay.

[Giggles] Okay, don't... no. Stop.

[Inhales sharply]

[Laughs]

[Laughs] No, no, no, no...

[Lively string music]

[Phone beeping]

[Phone beeps]

[Phone buzzing]

[Phone buzzing]

[Phone buzzing]

[Phone chiming]

[Playful orchestral music]

[Rattling]

[Sighs]

[sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs] Actually, I'm sleepy.

[Sighs] Oh, God.

[Sighs] Okay.

[Sighs] Well, that could have gone worse, huh?

[Sniffs]

[Upbeat music]

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