Modern Family (2009) - Season 11 Edit

A $150 fine for the non return of leg warmers.

A A post without a sign is so humiliating.

A All this time, I thought it was my fault!

A And I applied

A Are there art house theaters?

A Are you sure?

A As in there there's a baby?

A bit harsh.

A black and white movie or or a black and white couple?

A bunch of huge trees, and a family of deer.

A certain couple haveasked that you meet themin the bowling alley.

A couple International Male covers

A couple of weeks ago, Jay put a tracker thingy on Stella

A crowd gathers,

A dirty look.That's your big plan?

A family that taught me so much.

A few years ago, I forgot to tapthe towel rod twice

A fireman?

A generational real estate talent.

A genius.

A good word for us with the owner.

A huge salary cut.It's so unfair!

A hundred bucks, huh?

A little bit down here.

A little bit more. And...

A little rendezvous with a redhead.

A little something about myself?

A looker like that with no online presence?

A luxury residence with full amenities.

A man tells you enough times

A mariachi band?

A mindfulness company

A mountain lionmust've made a fresh kill.

A nun?

A patient opens the app on their phone

A plastic patio chair and a juicy bit of gossip.

A pneumatic devicethat both lifts a car

A police escort to school every day.

A quarterback, a running back, a middle linebacker.

A realcar, not a not a toy.

A recruiter?

A romantic relationship with you.

A run that said "Pick me last" in gym class.

A scout came to one of my games and liked what he saw,

A secure encrypted mobile app

A selfie?!

A sense of responsibilityin your children, and...

A shared experience. Shared experience.

A smokey set up a bear trap,

A sommelier from Paris Marcel Caron.

A spaghetti pot with waterand boil it.

A spokesmodel, and a mover.

A spot of bother, I see?

A state of the art screening room with surround sound.

A super grand gesture.

A swooper?! A swooper!

A terrible thing happened today at Manny's one man show

A terrific job. Keep going!

A third party into their relationship.

A thousand apologies.

A time like what?

A very exciting afternoon for you.

A very fun tribute to an American treasure,

A vice principal that plays rock 'n' roll.

A warning my form is clumsy,but I'm great on my feet.

A warren of starving rabbits wouldn't eat these carrots.

A wedding.

A Westworld?

A window opens. Yeah.

A year ago, Claire accused me for the millionth time

A, you have to be invited,

A.A. is that alcoholic cult,

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah! That felt so good!

Aah.

Able to destroy confidence in a single pose.

Abort!

Abort!

About a possible moveto Missouri.

About Los Angelesthrough the decades?

About the empty house we first moved into.

About the greatest golf shot you ever made?

Absolutely not! Okay, be reasonable, Tashi.

According to your calendar,

Accusing Phil of dropping the parenting ball?

Achoo!

Achoo! Achoo!

Across the United States,

Actually, Claire,

Actually, could I get a juice first?

Actually, I might finish that.

Actually, I'm feeling better about the move already.Good.

Actually, I'm not so surehow much I trust that Randy guy.

Actually, um...

Actually, we wanted to ask you something about that.

Actually, you can't.

Actually, you guys are gonna make money.

Adam, I swear to God!

Adam, party mode!

Adam, thinking mode.

Adam, warm light mode.

Adam: Initiating.

Adjust quickly,

Admiral Ackbar,what the hell happened to you?

Admit it, you're not sick!

Admit that he was wrong! Ah!

Adolfo of Venice is actuallyAlan Carpman of Bakersfield.

Adolfo of Venice.

Adolfo of Venice.

Afraid the whole family's down.

After a couple of weeks of withdrawal,

After all, his dad is the creator

After all, what kind of world would we live in

After an exhaustive search

After his teeth whitening systemburned my gums.

After I kick your ass!

After I texted her all those nice things you told me to say to her.

After letting that skunk off the hook so easily?

After my tether snaps

After our daughter's biting spree.

After she broke his heart when she got repulsed

After Sherry dumped me,

After some time, I I'll forget all about this place.

After the cat lady.

After the real estate business chewed you up and spit you out.

After your mother died

Afterwards, we kept talking, and...it just happened.

Again, I'm sorry.

Again!

Again! When you lie downin a Dog Bed by Stella,

Again?

Again?

Again? I thought we were even.

Against society'sworst criminals is what I do.

Agreed. No more fighting.

Ah, good day, sir.

Ah, here!

Ah, just who I was toldto be on the lookout for.

Ah, Posh.

Ah, that's the Cam I know.

Ah, wonderful timing!

Ah, yes, Finley.

Ah, you're great.

Ah!

Ah! I've missed Old Haley! Ohh! Me too.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Well, I am sorry to hear that.

Ah...

Ah...

Ah...Ah...

Aha! I got you to admit it.

Aha! It's gonna be huge. I'm gonna text it to myself.

Ahh, 'cause my gummy'skicking in.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh. Whoa!

Aim for the meat, not the bone.

Alcoholism kills millions of people a day.

Alex is here?!

Alex, Antarctica made you miserable,

Alex, how's the stuffing?

Alex, I wish you nothingbut the best.

Alex, I've never c considered

Alex, is this directed at you?

Alex, meet us at home

Alex, please. How weird can your chef be?

Alex, that guy was an idiot. Pick better boyfriends.

Alex, um, call you please callthat chef that you're dating?

Alex, what are you doing?

Alex: Dad, I'm sorry.

Alex: Go use Dad's!

Alex: Hi, Mom.

Alex: I've got to admit, walking onto that campus...

Alex: Oh! Luke,I'm in here!

Alex: Sometimes in life, you've got to know when to call it quits.

Alex: Sounds like a crazy morning.

Alex: Yeah, yeah. I I'm probably overreacting.

Alex: Yngvar does seem sweet.

Alex!

Alex! Open up!

Alex?

Alex? Hi!

Alex. Great.

Alex...

Alexandra?

All a doctor's office has to do

All good reasons.I'm at a meter, so I'm just

All he does is Google water parks.

All my students don't have the potential you do!

All night long to me?

All of our friends have been asked,

All of that stuff brought me here.

All of the things that we've made together.

All of your encrypted and pertinent

All our Christmas shopping is done.

All outbursts should be couched in a fake cough.

All over this beautiful planet!

All right, let's go.

All right, Lily, I'm on my way to the game

All right, so this is what we're gonna do.

All right, then, time for my lecture on geological surveys.

All right, well, I parked on the street,

All right.

All sitting at the same table where

All the good stuff's already gone.

All the priests I asked

All the time, like you do.

All the way to Méjico?

All the windows needed to be washed.

All those eyes on me, the adoration...

All those kids you fell in love with

All use, like, different systems?

All we know is she sits up there

Alls I'm saying isthe other families had alibis,

Almost as insane as talking to an appliance.

Almost the same thingI'm trying to do for you,

Already sadabout Mitchell leaving,

Alright, bronzer me.

Alright, give us a tour,

Alright, good start.

Alright, I've decided what I'm gonna do.

Alright, no gushiness.You know the drill.

Alright, now let's celebrate with some champagne!

Alright, okay.

Alright, the timer's set, everyone. We have 15 seconds!

Alright, well, maybe we'll just go outside

Alright.

Alright.

Alright.

Alright. Final lesson always be willing to walk away.

Alright. Here.

Alright. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.We got it.

Alright. Mitch. Cam.

Alright. Okay.

Alright. Take care.

Alright. You call his wife...

Also, she got a lot of knitting done.

Also, when you called me from your car,

Although what?

Although, I I guess it wouldn't hurt us

Although, it is famously where Larry King broke up

Although, that was exquisite.

Always.

Always.

Am I a little different? Yes, I am.

Am I better than Spike Jonze or Guillermo del Toro?

Am I fired?

Am I interrupting something?

Am I literally invisible to you people?!

Am I making any sense?

Am I saying "in the loop" too much?

Amazing ly like the last Kennedy picked in a touch football game.

Amazing that I think a hacky parlor trick

An empty house,all those Anita Baker records.

An extra vote on whether to pullthe plug on us when we get old.

An Instagram tease.

An offer is coming at six o'clock.

An older girl that Manny had a crush on.

An ornithologist deems the prints

And

And And And

And And Bobby...

And and I did well.

And And I'm a state prosecutor.

And and lose sleep over stuff

And And s And so did the d****s.

And and this is your dream job.

And And why are the moversjust sitting out there?

And and you wouldn'thave had to sell.

And And You know, listen,

And and I I want them to feel as special to us

And 32 is a very, very common pant size.

And 93% said that they would happily pay our monthly fee

And a bolted down Mr. Coffee,

And a Happy Thanksgivingto you.

And a little thing I call Pritchett Switch It.

And a rival agent swooped in.

And a shifty lecher

And a short Goober ride from the airport.

And a thoughtfully misspelled note?!

And according to their website,

And action!

And after all that craziness,

And after graduating Stanford engineering,

And Alex quit her job in Antarctica.

And Alex should be living in our stupid house.

And all his empty promises?

And all I do is clean up other people's messes

And all I had was that boombox.

And all of a sudden, I met this little angel.

And all of a sudden,we're standing in a charming

And all those free Bibles.

And all we get is a "Have a good one"?

And anything with a steel toe for me.

And are we ever really too young

And around this corner is the entertainer's kitchen.

And as a thank you, Phil,

And attached Stella's GPS tracker to the back,

And auction off the space trip to charity.

And B,no self respecting scientist

And baked potato gents?

And based on that summer in Paris story,

And basically turned me into her housekeeper.

And be raring to go.

And be the first one to let go.

And before you know it,

And begin stripping down.

And blamed some things on the ****.

And blow

And bringing up Hugh Grant,

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

And by the way, unlike you, I grew up working class.

And call a tow company from there.

And can we take your plane?

And can you have it deliveredto the pool, please?

And can you tone downthe negativity?

And carry aroundan emotional support pig.

And coffee. Are you guys living in here?

And come on.

And crush it.

And cut! We're good in here.

And cut. Look, I'm renting this joint by the hour.

And d down more. Down more.

And Dad has never finished a Sudoku.

And deejaying.

And do what?

And dog beds aren't they're not stupid.

And don't cry, because your makeup will run

And don't forget that Joe and I

And don't we get a tour of the building?

And don't worry, we'll always remember

And don't worry,we'll make sure he gets along

And don't worry. I don't want any trouble.

And donated it all to charity.

And donated it back to the skating rink.

And down it went.

And drag his sleeping bag in here?

And Dylan read that skin to skin contact

And Dylan's mom had the twins,

And eight $100 Westworld entry fees?

And Elon and Zuck Zuck.

And every one of them made me fill out the same forms.

And every time you speak, it's like a a ghost popping out.

And experience one moment of peace.

And fell down the stairs?

And figured it was a safe bet.

And file bills in a color coded divider

And finally, back to the beautiful family room.

And five judges!

And for my followers...

And found you hangingby a necktie.

And four.

And g good for you.

And get this, Gerald fell again.

And give a foot massage to the winner of my game night.

And give her the classic Tucker stare down.

And give it to me.

And go to the big gay Halloween carnival,

And good for us to socialize with people

And good news I was able to get you comps.

And goodbye, wall dent,

And got spooked byyour German dishwasher.

And got to sit next to Nicole Kidman.

And Hamlet could've said, "Maybe I'll kill myself."

And has requested your presenceon the roof.

And he bought us off with this.

And he didn't want to be alone. Ohh!

And he honked.

And he is our guest speaker.

And he says he has a "big surprise" for me.

And he stayed home with a fake limp.

And he wants to take her to Mexico.

And he was totally cool about it.

And he won't do anything about it.

And he's been 10 for 40 years.

And he's convinced

And he's fine.

And he's got red hair, like you!

And he's lonely,

And her nanny.

And his name is David Beckham.

And hold it up.

And honestly, I can't think of anyone

And honestly, it's only a matter of time

And how did you get started in that business?

And how many mileswould you say is on it?

And how this should be the most memorable Christmas.

And how would you like it?

And how you say I don't care about people's feelings,

And I I want you to brace yourself.

And I am a tough audience.

And I am doing the Spanish version.

And I am not afraid of disappointing you.

And I am not leaving my babies

And I apologize for being late.

And I appreciate you're worried about me, but...

And I called Seinfeld "Steinfeld."

And I can still count on you

And I can't ruin that.

And I can't watch him suffer anymore.

And I couldn't ask you to give that up.

And I couldn't focus.

And I couldn't understanda word you were saying.

And I couldn't wait to get to the office.

And I do not want to hear the story behind that one.

And I don't know why,

And I don't think that they ever will.

And I don't want to disappoint him.

And I don't want to screw up our relationship.

And I don't want youto be stingy.

And I don't want youto resent your children.

And I feel like you're judging me.

And I get it, but I regretnot going back to work sooner,

And I got you two ingratesthat game anyway.

And I guess I'm sort of afraid...

And I had to army crawl into a a candle store.

And I had to back off the hammer.

And I have a Matt Damon nose.

And I I I couldn't rely on the joyful environment of Spuds

And I I really needyour support right now.

And I I'm really miffedabout that.

And I just wanted everything to be perfect!

And I kept coming back to one guy

And I know how to fix it.

And I know there's lots of different "love languages,"

And I know you've feltloved before.

And I love you too much to make that same mistake.

And I may not for a couple months, but...

And I mean, look at him.

And I need a copy of it for this NASA job,

And I need to find out who.

And I once trimmed a hedge in our yard

And I ran over Libby,

And I said I'd be open to transferring,

And I still don't.

And I sure did.

And I think I know why.

And I think I knowwhat's going on here.

And I think I'm rude to you somet

And I think I'm rude to you sometimes

And I think it's bestthat you hear it from me.

And I think there are millions of

And I think we have enoughdiapers to last us till morning.

And I thinkI can help you with it.

And I told him that we split upto shop and that

And I told you that in confidence, you hump!

And I tumble endlessly through the void?

And I want to take a Boomerang of me and my favorite uncle

And I was fingered left and right.

And I was just trying to pull the best out of you,

And I was off to the races.

And I was so much morethan the president

And I will ring you back.

And I would think that you would ask me

And I would think you'd support that.

And I yelled at the local news.

And I'll I'll need a bib I can make a mess.

And I'll be sixty one.

And I'll bring the cookies"!

And I'll drive youaround till you fall asleep?

And I'll have you know, our town ne'er do well

And I'll never run out of ink.

And I'm I'm more fragile,and I would need them more.

And I'm all sticky and tweens are laughing at me.

And I'm changing, too.

And I'm getting a little sick

And I'm going to prove it to her.

And I'm gonna ask them why they hate me!

And I'm gonna hide it on the sign to catch the crook.

And I'm gonna miss you,too.

And I'm marrying this woman.

And I'm not sayingI haven't started it,

And I'm pretty sure you had to sue to get in here.

And I'm ready to fill 'em up with wine.

And I'm sorry that my plan to help you move on

And I've gotten kinda antsy.

And I've never had a cavity.

And if Cam wasn't in such a rush to get out of here,

And if I'm being honest,

And if we flip this over,one of us is gonna feel bad

And if you really want to ruin his day

And in a different way than when you had to go somewhere

And in its place, a little kid

And it almost went in.

And it could ruin the thing.

And it does meanswe raised them right.

And it does not feel right,

And it is not always appropriate, you know?

And it looks like we need one for Mr. Beckham to the roof.

And it made me feel like I was connected

And it says "We've got you, babe"?

And it spits it right back at me in Español.

And it was just us and those gorgeous mountains,

And it was worth the risk

And it won't bethe last time, damn it!

And it's all because of him.

And it's easy tovisit Switzerland, so...

And it's in a great school district.

And it's making him a little crazy.

And it's not going to work here.

And it's not just me that thinks it.

And it's you talking to some lady at a yoga class.

And just a tiny little note,

And just like that,

And just remember some of the basics of the law, okay?

And just remember,this is for our daughter.

And keep moving forward.

And lean back the other direction.

And leave Earth with me?

And left ushis antique gnome collection.

And let me tell you, it did not feel good.

And let's be honest,

And listen, there's no company I would rather work for.

And look pretty?

And look up and say thank you?

And look, maybe we've lost a little of our beauty,

And looks like she's having fun. Okay.

And looks like she's having fun. Okay.

And Luca's dad are"twisting the sheets"?

And Luke can't drop out of school?

And make me principal

And make sure it includes the bar.Yes!

And Margaret every five years,

And maybe I could get yours, too?

And maybe roast some marshmallows while you're there

And maybe when I turn my back,

And me headed off to college...

And meet our precious new roommate, Rexford.

And Méjico?

And melts down in front of Randy,

And moments before that,we got a phone call

And more importantly,

And most importantly, you got a great partner here.

And my my followers are dying for a review.

And my application has to be mailed by 5:00.

And my cousingot to keep one ear.

And my takeaway from our day

And neither is your car.

And never work again.

And never, evertake the same route twice.

And no credit card receipts.

And no womanwill ever deserve you.

And not be a part of their life.

And not come home with a balloon.

And not even realize it.

And not have anyone pawingat your boobs for two seconds.

And not pursue their dreams?

And not to you.

And now everything is gonna stay so messy.

And now I dread it.

And now I know

And now I would kill for them.

And now I'm one of two finalists

And now it's my turn to support you.

And nowI am living in a condo,

And on Lauren Bacall's birthday?

And once again, word spreads through town

And one, two, three.

And one...

And our lives.

And people still said "cray."

And Pepper gothis eighth face lift.

And Pepper's Great Danes?

And personally led three of them

And pounced.

And powers a drill to change lug nuts.

And present himself as some brooding mystery man

And press the big buttonmarked "pool."

And put an end to this nuttiness.

And reach for the stars.

And remember that you're not actually dying.

And sat through Manny's one man "Uncle Vanya."

And SCARB dinners,I'd love to be yours.

And scheduled repairs for today,

And Scooter has a lot of experience.

And see me sock sliding past the window

And she doesn't want to work anymore.

And she smoked a pipe every day.

And slipped and hurt his ankle,and nowand the snake laid eggs, and it accidentally

And sniffing other dogs at the park.

And sniffing other dogs at the park.

And so am I.

And so do they.

And so is he, and maybe the peanut butter

And some shame around sex,

And somebody picked us.

And somehow, our profile got accidentally reactivated and

And sometimes things can

And spend the next few weeks getting ready for the baby.

And Stella's the star,of course.

And take a look around a little bit?

And take some selfies with my fan.

And take those shoes off!I just did the floors!

And talking about very little else,

And taping today's game for my college apps.

And taps it against the device.

And thank you for the yummies.

And that is stressing me out because eleven years ago,

And that just that just makes me so, so...

And that means next Christmas would be

And that outfit is on point.

And that thing is...?

And that's all a lot easier

And that's what made the d the the

And that's why you're hiding in the bushes like a sheep?

And the the passion, that sparkle in your eye,

And the book,

And the deep, profound love we share.

And the grown ups go outand talk about this over dinner?

And the kids'll be gone soon.

And the mean Boy Scoutthat made me feel so old.

And the only way to get to either of them at this hour

And the panicked sweatof impending irrelevance.

And the party wasn't that fun.

And the pediatrician said it is perfectly healthy.

And The Prescott is home to the city's hottest restaurant,

And the safety of other women around,

And the teens are beaten soundly.

And the third largestcoal producer in the country.

And their robes stink like old rich guys

And then bam they're gone.

And then disappear forever,

And then don't call herfor a week.Oh, oh, what?

And then got hit by a car.

And then I got a team dinner tonight.

And then I headed home to Jay.

And then I'm gonna divorceyour corpse!

And then introduce him to my mother.

And then invites them into their house?

And then just a short hop on HamTrak, so...

And then let the babyhover above the table

And then maybe Stella will get some alone time

And then one day, the toddler's gone,

And then put an "under construction" sign

And then reel her in.

And then she can bang his drum.

And then she found out that her polyamorous quad

And then some overshare about their sex life.

And then we'll workour way up to the master.

And then when they opened the door, we blew them up.

And then...in a moment,

And there, you're going to join the souls

And there's a lot of pressure

And these people they don't care!

And these two burst out laughing

And they are so mean!

And they arefamously recession proof.

And they can be controlling,

And they haven't.

And they loved it. Yeah, and we weren't even drunk yet.

And they want to go splurge on beds for themselves?

And they're gonna spend eternity in Heaven.

And they're stuck in the samedull, mirthless

And they're supposed to call him about it today,

And this attitude,this is why people hate movers.

And this big family room with the cozy fireplace

And this gentleman is currently the frontrunner.

And this is George,

And this is how you repay me?

And this is Mitchell.

And this isn't even a good picture!

And this keeps going on like that,

And this stud is my son, Manny.

And this time, not so slow.

And this was my dream job!

And this year, he said I don't have to go.

And those are alwaysthe most rewarding.

And those were just off the top of my head,

And those who violate those laws

And threw glitter glue on it.

And to build up an appetite,

And to Manny, of all people?

And to move on, right?

And to reveal the answer...

And tried to scale the local bank.

And trust me, all the free sample

And turns out we don't,

And wake him up.

And wants to stop by tomorrow to say hi.

And we all knowwhat Raymond Chandler said

And we desperately wanted a dog.

And we didn't think you'd say yes.

And we don't needthe stress of moving.

And we get to do new things that we love.

And we have a storybook Christmas.

And we lost George Michael that day, so...

And we realizedwe had a million dollars.

And we really connect

And we thought we'd hit Spuds one last time

And we willbe discussing why you were

And we woke up really early one morning,

And we would have left early.

And we would have left early.

And we'd both been through so much.

And we'll always have Mitchell.

And we're both sterile.

And we're clear. Hmm.

And we're compatible with both.

And we're good now.

And we're proud of it.

And went over to Longinus' party.

And what are you doing here?

And what are you doing here? I thought you had a flat tire.

And what did she say?

And whatever other perversions you two are into.

And when I get home, I'm going to sign him up

And when I wanted to amp it up,

And when I'm sitting here

And when you had friends over,

And where are you going, dressed so nice?

And where are you running off to, big buddy?

And who hasn't had mental illness in their family

And who's hanging the Christmaslights this year.

And why this sentence won't seem to end,

And with my experience, I could become a judge.

And would do anythingto keep his job.

And wound up with a massive sunburn.

And yammerywhen he's around you.

And you you feel goodabout who you are.

And you guys cook, right?

And you guys had such a long morning,

And you have some way

And you hurt a guy who loves you like a brother.

And you inventing new illnessesto get out of P.E.

And you know what? Look, if I got this job,

And you know what? Maybe it would help

And you know, I feel responsible

And you said we would never wear