Shameless - Season 8 Edit

A bunch of us even voted for Obama... twice.

A butterfly

A car or something?

A car?

A circuit breaker. You're way underpowered.

A club of George Zimmerman type of pussies

A cock is nothing more than a deformed clitoris.

A complacent attitude to forklift safety

A couple quick hammer hits to the head.

A cup of tequila instead of coffee.

A dipshit cut.

A family member?

A fella doesn't get too many chances to get it right.

A few people called already.

A few weeks ago, I had this joker.

A firm boundary.

A forklift is a powerful and safe tool

A fucking art gallery.

A girl can dream, right?

A homeless shelter. I heard.

A little sweetie pie.

A little sweetie pie.

A Lumber Lawn and Lighting employee, are you?

A move to corporate...

A new low water mark, Dominique.

A nice, quiet tech guy who's happy to pay the 1,000.

A place here at Hopkins Academy?

A place to crash again, okay?

A plant.

A pleasure to meet one of the elite.

A positive can mean a bad thing.

A second chance.

A self exam is no laughing matter.

A shelter is looking to lease it.

A shelter?

A thousand bucks?

A vet on my watch.

A week?

A week. I say it's gonna be a severed finger this time.

A week. I say it's gonna be a severed finger this time.

A what?

A what?

A working man never leaves home without his tools

A yard, and a swing set...

Aah!

About getting rid of somebody.

About that dog.

About the same time we lost you.

About time. I'll go get it.

About what? We can do it now.

About your family?

Absolutely.

Abuela's missed you so much.

Acceptance, resurrection,

Accidentally taken these?

Account number?

Across the private school curriculum...

Across the private school curriculum...

Actions have consequences

Actually felt kind of amazing.

Actually has breast cancer and dies on me?"

Actually, we did it Thursday, too.

Addicts are selfish assholes.

Adeeb was a dear friend as well as a colleague.

Adeeb's not joining us?

After exam tomorrow to celebrate?

After going deer hunting.

After that,

After the junkie downstairs, I'll still be $4,227 short

After the victory has been won,

After you took out the old pads?

After your mama ran off with that Bible salesman.

Agreed.

Agreed. You heard her.

Ah, ah.

Ah, heck, you know what?

Ah, it's all good. Um... but look, uh,

Ah, it's just so twisted.

Ah, it's no problem.

Ah, it's no problem.

Ah, shit, right.

Ah, shit.

Ah, The Fairy Tail. He's the guy

Ah, yeah, just give me a couple days.

Ah, you gotta stay here, okay?

Ah, yup. Gotta go.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Ah! Shit!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Well, sorry.

Ah...

Ah...

Aha!

Aldo.

All addicts are narcissists.

All at once... could attract cartel attention.

All I know is that my mother comes into my kitchen

All I've heard since is a bark.

All is changing,

All of my family reunions start with my aunts

All of them are superior humans.

All right, and she wants to be with him? I mean, it's...

All right, but you gotta wait till the lunch rush dies down.

All right, go play.

All right, gold lamé doesn't come off.

All right, good luck, man.

All right, here's a hot one. Name's Mimi.

All right, how many you want, Jamie?

All right, I don't trust Charlie.

All right, I'll come back tomorrow.

All right, I'll go.

All right, Mother Teresa.

All right, six months, huh?

All right, so he tells me to piss off.

All right, so I need Hawaiian, extra Hawaiian

All right, thanks

All right, then you buy it, and I'll pay you back.

All right, this one is for the building.

All right, um...

All right, well, I'm gonna look for him.

All right, what can I do to make it right?

All right, what can I do to make it right?

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Anyone else like to share?

All right. Drink plenty of fluids today, man.

All right. Go on, go get the game.

All right. Here.

All right. It's not just here.

All right. Let's go, cowboy. That's us.

All right. Tell him I'm on my way.

All right. V, you're on the register.

All sorts of other hazards.

All the orgasms that you've ever had by me...

All the Xs have magically become check marks.

All things are in a constant state of flux.

All this shit in the first place by robbing the storage unit.

All this time, I thought you were babysitting

Allah 'akbar!

Allah 'akbar!

Allah!

Alma's going to be here.

Alongside a commitment to nurturing

Already paid for. Want it?

Also, he wants money.

Also, she thinks I'm teachable.

Also, there's the G1 and G2 APOL gene

Although sometimes I feel like

Am I a fucking step in your rehab?

Am I alive? Baby, what happened?

Am I hearing correctly?

America first, motherfuckers.

America first, motherfuckers.

American patriot Corporal Carl?

Amy Schwartzman.

An addict who promised he was getting help.

An address book, anything,

An art gallery was for, like, half a second.

An automobile.

An entire pound?

An interim sponsor.

An old lady, dying alone.

An upstanding citizen,

An upstanding citizen.

And a bran muffin, please?

And a committee is this big.

And a committee is this big.

And a couple rice puddings.

And a negative can mean a good thing.

And a one month security deposit.

And a pile of biscuits for lunch.

And a terrorist with a baby here to bail you out.

And a whole neighborhood in Indianapolis?

And abused altar boys.

And almost walked right onto the tracks.

And and and stole your TV.

And as such, we have certain standards to uphold.

And babysit her kid.

And bang the parents at their kids' schools.

And became robots.

And Biff can't keep a job to save his life.

And boss you around, okay?

And breakfast meats.

And by helping other drunks get what we got.

And by the way, it's how we stay sober...

And by wiping asses when they need wiping.

And cats has been living in 1C

And changed my name to Jerry.

And charging me $12 for a fucking vegan muffin.

And congratulations on Employee of the Month.

And cost bar $300.

And didn't none of us know

And do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of God

And don't believe him when he says that he doesn't want chaos.

And eating our brains.

And eggs, flapjacks,

And eternally to the heavens.

And falling loads

And finished her project."

And five DUIs? I mean, I don't even think Frank has five DUIs.

And for educational outreach and artist residencies.

And fuck you up?

And fuckin' Charlie and Sierra.

And get some chili cheese nachos,

And gonna put his head on the mantle.

And have limbs intact.

And have to pay for childcare and rent and everything.

And he didn't do anything about it?

And he doesn't just use drugs. He uses people!

And he left you at the double bubble machine

And he told me to get myself to a meeting.

And he wasn't.

And he's running out the door with her hair.

And heading back to Juilliard in the fall.

And healthy children

And help others do the same.

And hit an even worse bottom.

And hit harder back.

And how do we feel about this... what's his name?

And how quickly I can drink myself to death,

And I already promised it to

And I always win.

And I can't say as I blame them,

And I clean him up.

And I didn't use any protection.

And I don't have time to paint before he gets here.

And I don't know what to do about it.

And I don't pay taxes.

And I don't wanna talk about how much it's going to cost

And I got a perfect score on my written.

And I got all these thoughts swimming around my head, like...

And I just wanted to let you know, as a fellow

And I never thought about her, and...

And I still think I'm saying it wrong.

And I support you,

And I support you,

And I thought that he grabbed you

And I wanna talk to you about rehab.

And I want you to play Boyz II Men, "End of the Road"

And I will never let you wear purple.

And I will still fuck you.

And I will...

And I would love to jump your bones.

And I'll tell them that we were legit married

And I'm air conditioning and heating repair.

And I'm back in puberty.

And I'm free.

And I'm going for drinks with friends from school after class.

And I'm going to parent him the way I should've been

And I'm gonna get my balls back.

And I'm gonna give these walls a nice coat of fresh paint too.

And I'm happy to lead the charge,

And I'm hoping it's baby shit.

And I'm hot as fuck,

And I'm not saying no.

And I'm over feeling guilty for wanting to better myself.

And I'm waking up with a boner so hard,

And I've already got my hands pretty goddamn full,

And I've always been a lover of animals.

And I've blown it five times

And I've got pieces to penetrate.

And if he does manage to find his way here,

And if she tries to pull any of that

And if you're ever fucking and you notice

And in any one of those scenarios,

And in my bones and in my veins.

And it became customary to hold ceremonies

And it was crowded... I peeked.

And it'll be worth twice that in three years.

And it's big in a way that's hard for me to accept.

And it's Francis now. I no longer resonate

And it's French, son.

And it's getting flushed down the toilet.

And it's not called the Alibi anymore.

And it's now home, sweet home,

And just decided that you liked being gay more?

And just..

And Kevin's shift, combined,

And Lakisha does.

And learning to embrace fatherhood.

And maintain control of your rod.

And maintenance and shit.

And make up to 20 bucks an hour to start.

And my heart starts racing again

And my nipples, and my other erogenous zones,

And my sponsor said I should draw

And no one ever came looking for me,

And no permanent state exists by itself.

And not from being stoned.

And not just as representatives of the working class

And now apologize for being a mega cunt.

And now he's gone MIA. They probably skinned him alive

And now I'm gonna be late for school.

And now she owns, like, half the South Side

And now she's gone.

And now she's lost her spot.

And now that she's dead, I'm I'm ready

And now we can't pay our mortgage.

And now you want me to go back to 'em.

And now you want to go over there

And now, you're free.

And occasionally set shit on fire.

And off we went, down Alice's famed rabbit hole,

And okay, let's do...

And once I finish burying Spokane,

And one day, he's gonna burn you, too.

And peach cobblers.

And pick up your needles.

And pimp my ass.

And pissing in the alley.

And pretty little Fiona.

And prostitution.

And punish him with temptation?

And put it on the...

And raise the profile of the hood, why don't you?"

And rammed the gate,

And she has some sort of fucked up power over me

And she kept it until her death,

And she's bitching at me before I've even

And show a judge he's serious... but that's his only shot.

And show him that nobody fucks with

And Sierra and Lucas are buying it.

And Sierra can't do Saturday mornings

And smiling and bouncing around.

And some Mountain Dew, but no refills?

And some of you look pretty gay.

And source of income?

And steer clear of the cemetery.

And stressful this can be.

And swing by my place later?

And tell him you'll meet him.

And that is your Uncle Travis

And that property's a disaster.

And that tells me that I'm not a lesbian.

And that's your sister Bambi.

And the car was full of kids

And the fuel hose, replace the brake pads?

And the junkie couple in 1D fight a lot

And the mom with 72 kids to be out of here

And the new landlady, she's too cheap to bug bomb the place.

And the search

And the second we do, he goes off the wagon.

And the woman with the couple dozen kids

And them pumping their athletes full of so much steroids

And then feeding that one!

And then he went all mental on me

And then I must...

And then ICE chased away all the Russians.

And then started experimenting

And then superglue your mouth and eyelids shut

And then you're gonna start over.

And there's a space out back that comes with the apartment.

And these are contingencies,

And they refuse to pronounce the letter H.

And they require a new sense of maturity.

And they the only family he's got.

And they're building a Whole Foods.

And this guy is to the mailbox.

And this is your idea of not being

And this Kroger's job you held for, what..

And this was all just a big mistake.

And to all the other members of this big fat marble we're on,

And tomorrow, once I pass my arc welding exam,

And turning yourselves into fucking meth dealers

And wants to stay with me.

And we can barely put food on the table?

And we can get a house,

And we come up with an agreement that works for all of us,

And we gotta start getting it back

And we pay our rent on time and we vouch for them.

And we want to return the favor.

And we're instituting a round table

And what about my mother?

And what, pray tell, is this?

And when he gets out, everything will be back to normal.

And would you look at these little chocolate pies?

And yes, ready to step into his place,

And you being here with me just...

And you call me if you need

And you can't even get your shit together enough

And you missed last week's episode?

And you need someone to talk to, that guy can't be me.

And you see me coming all over some guy

And you stood on your little legs

And you turn on me?

And you want us to get half,

And you were just using me for my money...

And you'll get enlightened.

And you're not here to help me up?

And you're not my type anyway.

And you're the reason we're able to help so many.

And your brothers shouldn't have taken any either.

And your guns oiled.

And, God, when I'm under,

And, Neil, don't forget to cut up her chicken into tiny bites

And, uh, he deserted me for three days

And, um, inspections and mortgage agreements,

And?

And?

And...

And...

And...

And...

And... he thought that I grabbed you

Animal control is gonna come for her dog.

Another stiffy?

Antiestablishment,

Any chance you can track Brad on your phone?

Any idea why?

Any of the bourgie crap other people had, but...

Anybody home?

Anybody want some tea or anything?

Anybody want to buy a church?

Anyone else pay?

Anyone seen my car keys?

Anything for my son.

Anything I can do to help?

Anything serious, 'cause of the whole sobriety thing, but..

Anyway, how are you?

Apartment six.

Apparently civilization has reached

Apparently he looted a bakery.

Apparently, none of the dads wash their own cars.

Are a death trap for Franny.

Are just some of the hazards that result

Are popping up for sale all over.

Are stupid people.

Are these the stubs for our paychecks?

Are they multicolored or just green?

Are we at war?

Are you a... handyman?

Are you applying to live here?

Are you attracted to me?

Are you even listening to me complain?

Are you feeding her? No, don't do that.

Are you going to the PTA meeting later?

Are you gonna help me or not?

Are you gonna help me or not?

Are you gonna tell us where the meth is or not, Fiona?

Are you her daughter?

Are you high, Frank?

Are you hitting on me?

Are you in pain?

Are you planning on coming to bed,

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you standing here telling me I don't know how to run my business?

Are you the cutest little thing?

Are you trying to fuck me?

Aren't you the cutest little thing?

Argh!

Arms up, arms up, arms up.

Around the corner.

Around, like, 2:30.

As a result,

As inheritable diseases go.

As long as you aren't back working that corner.

As soon as I get in front of the judge,

As the back door is to..."

As the back door is to..."

As the fate of the Michael Jordan statue's arm

Ask me again when you're 60.

Ask them. Here's their contact info.

Asshole.

Asshole.

Assistant manager in the garden shop.

Associate manager of the garden department.

At least get you to a store.

At least I'm not babysitting,

At least now things are cool with my ex's mom.

At some point, they fell in step

At the bar to get her way.

At the Private Peak Hotel tonight,

At the Texaco and wouldn't go back.

At this age?

At your house last night?

Au contraire.

Aw, come on! We could hang out, catch a movie

Aww.

Ay, que linda.

Baby mama in 1A just ditched out the back.

Baby.

Back when we were together,

Bad idea.

Bahir is here to move in.

Bahir is here to move in.

Bart, are you there?

Bart, is that you?

Bart!

Based on ethnic and economic considerations.

Basic word association.

Bastard just shows up out of nowhere?

Be down in a sec.

Be first in line in the commissary,

Be happy it isn't diarrhea.

Be the champ no more.

Beat his ass! Yeah, beat his ass!

Beautiful.

Because I am not asking for permission.

Because I want you all to remember this...

Because I'm going to pay my fair share.

Because if you didn't have to come to me,

Because if you were to get out of your truck,

Because it would mean I'd never met a stupid cunt like you

Because the city of Chicago woke to find

Because the French use too much butter in their cooking

Because they're helpless, and you're not!

Because what's good for Fiona can't be a mistake.

Because you loved to watch those little gumballs.

Because, you know, I... I just...

Because, you know...

Been a stay at home dad most of my life.

Been a while. I'm here to make amends.

Before Mel.

Before Monica coiled her body around my neck,

Before the baby came.

Before they declare it a goddamn historic landmark, so...

Before you burn up.

Before you decide to drink again

Begging and being pitiful first?

Believe it or not.

Believe me, sweetie,

Belongs to such as these.

Besides more booze?

Besides, walking's good exercise.

Besides, you gave all the best stuff to your hos.

Best as I could at the time, but that wasn't good enough.

Best idea he's ever had.

Best way to teach him the value of hard labor.

Best way to teach him the value of hard labor.

Better all of us.

Better go before these demonseeds kill each other.

Biff, looks like you aren't gonna

Binky

Bit off a dick!

Bitch about Sean.

Bitch, you trying to ditch me?

Blaming each other for who fucked up the potato salad.

Blessing animals on his feast day of four October."

Blonde and bitchy, what can I say?

Blood, sweat... uh!

Bonjour les enfants.

Boom.

Borrow Liam? Only be a minute.

Borrow Liam.

Both physical and existential.

Brad says "end of the week," so probably next Wednesday.

Brad was here.

Brad, ETA on the red Harley?

Brad!

Brad's been a rock for us.

Brake cleaner, brush, and the air gun.

Bread and butter of my business.

Brenan and Dorian are team captains today.

Brenan, you're up.

Bring him.

Brings us to $703.

Bro, you shoulda told me that before I started

Brought you a latte from my fancy new latte maker.

Brought you that chocolate flavored soy shit

Bullshit.

Bullshit.

Bullshit. Thirty six eighteen an hour?

Bunch of kids with nothing just needed a place to sleep.

Bunch of Russian flags out front,

But also as associates of Lumber Lawn and Lighting.

But anyway.

But at 850, I'll have a few bucks left over

But at least you got her thinking about her future.

But can I grab the keys from you?

But don't kid yourself about Trevor.

But emotional turmoil is my thing.

But every time I try to go and touch some tits... poof.

But Franny misses her grandma.

But he nods when he understands you, right, Barry?

But I am totally fine.

But I can get you something every week

But I can refer you to an excellent oncologist.

But I have to...

But I swear, if one of his cousins even looks at me racist,

But I think I went overboard with my background.

But I thought the same thing when he was my fiancé.

But I took one look at him this morning

But I was hoping there was something I could do to help.

But I'm cleaning up my act for Liam.

But I'm doing this.

But I'm gonna plant a seed here.

But I'm not even part gay.

But I'm not gonna chase him.

But I'm pretty sure it's just 'cause she was the one

But if I can put a roof over, like,

But if it means asshole, I agree

But if that little seed plants itself,

But if this goes on for longer than a week,

But it's a hell of a lot of fun.

But it's got good bones.

But Kev, he is too stupid for math.

But men like us... We land on our feet.

But no rush, by the way.

But nobody cares about that race stuff over here.

But now I am released,

But now I am released,

But really it was papers making her

But right now if I had another baby,

But she loved you.

But she was wasted.

But Sierra's my girl.

But that...

But the lady on the phone said she was having trouble selling it.

But the name Francis is more commonly used

But the smell seems to be lingering.

But the train came in so fast, it blew you back on your tush.

But they bailed.

But they changed her shift at Popeyes.

But they found another space,

But they still haven't closed on the other space.

But they turned me down flat.

But this time, it was different.

But you are his sister.

But you can't just show up and apologize and...

But you fucked with the wrong girl!

But you getting rich is more important than that.

But you got your own bar in Chicago.

But you gotta be up front with the women.

But you gotta give me something.

But you ignore his background.

But you stole from a veteran, homey.

But you're late with the rent.

But, happy to see that you're alive and talking.

But, like, you know...

But, um, we found a potential place

But... right now I need to make sure

Buy a plant. Worry about that.

Buy it? With what fucking money, Ian?

Buy it.

Buy?

By a bunch of homeless people.

By being of service,

By going full on Kentucky fried redneck.

By how much?

By pressing "buy,"

By that whirlwind known as Monica.

By the end of the day.

By the grace of a god I don't believe in,

By the Johnsville flood in 1826.

By the plebes.

By the time I get back.

Bye, bud.

Bye, Dylan. See you tomorrow.

Bye.

Bye.

C Company at Millberry Military Academy.

Cadet Corporal, halt!

Call it an even $700.

Called about his Harley.

Called the damn cops.

Came back so I could make amends.

Came home early to spend some quality time.

Cami had a premature labor scare.

Cami needs me to pick up a car seat.

Cami.

Cami's got more contractions.

Cami's not gonna take him back. He's gone.

Cami's parents are flying in.

Can be dangerous if not used safely.

Can I come in?

Can I get a coffee, two sugars,

Can I have the morning after pill, please?

Can I help you find something, sir?

Can I make amends to you guys tomorrow?

Can I sleep over at your house tonight?

Can I use the shower?

Can I... Can I cut off a sample?

Can remember what happened last season.

Can result in injury and even death.

Can we come up with a plan together?

Can we talk for a minute in Mr. Singh's office?

Can you borrow your brother's truck tomorrow?

Can you get me a check by tomorrow?

Can you just stop?

Can you open the door, please?

Can you take the girls out back

Can you watch Franny and give me your car keys?

Can you, uh, grab them from the shop

Can your friends pass a credit check?

Can't get soft over the summer.

Can't go till you put it on.

Can't imagine why it took so long.

Can't say the same for Barry.

Can't seem to shake it off. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight!

Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight!

Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight!

Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight!

Carl bought a hot tub with his Monica money.

Carl!

Carl.

Cash is obsolete and dirty.

Catfish chomps down on it,

Caution. Police activity ahead.

Change out the breakers

Charge the fort.

Charge the fort.

Charlie, addict.

Charlie, it's me again.

Charlotte's cool. Trotter's a bit of a shit show.

Check for the church. It's a down payment.

Check it out, I got a match.

Choked to death the man I was meant to be.

Chosen for their abdominal fitness.

Christ.

Christ.

Chuck Hartley.

Chuck, if I may, this is not easy for me.

Churches are tough. People are afraid they'll be

Class, let's welcome De'Andre to our family.

Click, clack. Make it snap.

Closing my Tinder account.

Coffee? Toast?

Coke's gone too.

Collisions, rollovers,

Comanche bastard took my scholarship money.

Comanche, sir.

Come and get it, motherfucker.

Come here, come here.

Come here, yo.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Come on in.

Come on up.

Come on, Angel of Death, let's get another pitcher.

Come on, come on!

Come on, come on.

Come on, Fiona, just get through it.

Come on, Franny.

Come on, help me get the arm.

Come on, is that necessary?

Come on, lady friends.

Come on, let me take you home.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, let's go.