Shameless - Season 2 Edit

A and would you believe this shit?

A bag of beer nuts, and a couple of joints.

A couple plants

A department of defense grant.

A favor, Ian?

A friend?

A friend's car.

A grand says I did.

A lot of pot.

A pack of Marlboros?

A short order cook, sweetie.

A toddler will interfere with getting hammered

Aah! Stan, sit down before you blow

About putting him in a home.

About that kick ass worm shit she's been using

Absolutely, what do you want? Marlins.

Afghan shepherds all on your own.

After what happened last time.

Again!

Ah, fuck! I told my boss I'd meet him

Ah, no, thanks.

Ah.

Ah...

All I want is for them to send me one of their

All right, but less than an ounce

All right, shithead.

All right, so now what?

All right, Stan, would you please sit down?

All right, that it?

All right, then, fuck it. Let's make

All right.

All she ever wants to do is discuss the lake poets.

All the old people who are going blind.

All the woman needs is a pole.

All you mortgage raping shits should be in prison anyway.

An hour, two, please.

And a recommendation from the president or some shit.

And cauterizing 'em with a blowtorch.

And check out the fucking thing!

And don't bite.

And fell asleep in each others' arms.

And he showed me a bunch of bands I've never heard of.

And I never got a bill that was even close to a grand.

And I still didn't make enough money today.

And I want a pony for Christmas.

And I want a rematch.

And it's JP Morgan. Oh, whatever.

And milk in the fridge.

And no free breakfast.

And not soil your tighty whities,

And now what are we supposed to live off of?

And passing out in the park before 11:00.

And ready to rock off to a new den.

And tell Teresa thanks for the case of dented soup.

And that you're home for the summer from Princeton.

And throw 'em over the goddamn fence!

And unbelievably sexy.

And we listened to his iPod,

And we still owe him, like, six grand.

And who the fuck is Bruno Mars?

And you can have what you want.

And you're nothing like anyone I've ever met.

Annual Michigan fishing trip

Another ventricle. Yeah, blow, blow.

Any better ideas?

Are sex addicts.

Are we on for later?

Are you able to kick in, like, ten more?

Arizona's got the right idea, boy

Arts and crafts.

At least Tony's not coming here

At the very least, an exaggerator.

Babe, you got it?

Back in the ice cream business.

Back to work.

Bad days?

Banging his head.

Be happy with anything under six.

Been to bed yet?

Been waiting across the street

Borrowing him for what?

Borrowing Liam.

Breakfast!

Bubble gum snow cone, and a chocolate crunch?

Bullshit.

But I think it's just the glue

But I'm a bit worried though.

But if it were my dad,

But it bought him another 30 days.

But now what? What do you want to do?

But this year I couldn't.

But you can't keep the kid.

But...

Bye bye, Cami. Mwah.

Bye, baby, I'll see you later, okay?

Bye, baby.

Bye, Veronica.

Bye.

Came to see Karen.

Can handle that kind of heat, girls?

Can I see it The bill? Yeah, here.

Can you do me

Can you give me a bit of a head start?

Carl, stop pushing.

Cast iron plumbing's out, replacing it with copper.

Cheetos and carrot sticks.

Chicks love an old dude with great weed.

Chocolate chip cookie bar, and a Molson's.

Clitoris moistening aphrodisiac music mix.

Coach thought I might be able to break five minutes, 25.

Come back for a bud light when you're 16.

Come back with my fucking money,

Come by anytime.

Come later, live a little.

Come on, what was the time?

Come on.

Come with me.

Cool if I split?

Costa Rica, it's beautiful.

Cunt, cunt.

Cute and easily manipulated.

Dad. Son.

David has a friend coming into town from New York.

Debbie?

Dip into our savings, but this?

Distance runner. 1600. Broke some kind of state record.

Do it!

Do it.

Don't ask.

Don't ever come back!

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry.

Done at 5:00.

Eddie goes to the corner for a pack of Lucky's,

Ellie ate a bunch of carpet.

Even threw in some old Maxwell.

Every summer needs a challenge.

Exactly.

Fi, this is my friend, David.

Fiona!

Fiona?

Fiona?!

First day care kid is here.

First round. Go to your corners.

First time I've seen him.

Five maybe,

Five minutes, 23 seconds?

Following their mom like this.

Fool's gold.

For a run in about an hour.

For an hour.

For last night to happen.

For the ac.

Forgot about the electric bill.

Forties, handsome.

Fought off three cops

Four, wow. We could be here awhile.

Frank didn't bring him back?

Frank wasn't at the alibi?

Frank, where have you been?

Frank!

Frank! Frank!

Frank! Karen!

Frank?

Frank? Frank?!

Free play, lunch, nap,

Friend dropped me off.

Friend from group.

Fuck

Fuck you, Frank.

Fuck, Lip.

Fuck, that kid hits hard.

Fuck, that kid hits hard.

Fuck!

Fuck! Shit!

Fun dust. Oregano?

Gaga, Adele, Rikki, J.Lo, Nicki Minaj.

Gallaghers pay their debts.

Get me the goddamn tin snips.

Get out!

Get set.

Get set... Okay.

Get some ice on that eye.

Get some sleep, okay?

Get the hell out of here.

Get up out of here.

Getting all in my family's business

Gig's almost up, daddy Frank.

Give it to you.

Gluten?

Go around to the Dojos, round up some more scrappers, all right?

Go microwave me a burrito and stock the cooler.

Go, go.

Go!

Go!

God bless you.

God, I'm so sorry.

Goddamn city couldn't wait to stop paying him.

Going through my stuff now?

Going to take him to the aquarium.

Gonna meet your friends.

Good morning.

Good night, buddy,

Got the truck running?

Got to have money to spend money.

Grass?

Great looking tomatoes.

Group?

Guns N' Roses?

Guy on my shift moonlights as an electrician,

Had to open the shop by myself.

Haven't given up on that one yet?

He even looks like Steve.

He forgot his pants it happens, all right?

He gonna try and tase me. I hit him.

He has his good and bad days.

He humiliated me!

He keeps going downhill like this,

He takes me out, he buys me nice things sometimes.

He tases me... Not a word.

He was popping little blue pills I counted four.

He won't keep Liam long.

He's a boy, he should be in with the boys.

He's at his first sleepover.

He's collateral.

He's crazy about you.

He's married, she's married.

He's nice.

He's two!

He's your type, too.

Hear all those heart warming,

Heirlooms? Yes, they are, cherokee purples

Hell, yeah. President's a local boy,

Hello? Goddamn cunt,

Hello?!

Her nose has been running,

Hey, any interest

Hey, anybody interested in a little primo bud?

Hey, cut it off, Ernie.

Hey, do you mind if we drop Cami off early tomorrow?

Hey, don't jerk off in there!

Hey, Fiona.

Hey, Frank?

Hey, get off our corner!

Hey, good to see you. Man, shut the fuck up.

Hey, gorgeous, more Diablos.

Hey, guys, what you looking for?

Hey, guys.

Hey, how's the crop coming? It's almost harvesttime.

Hey, I want to stage another fight night next week.

Hey, junior, school night.

Hey, Justin Bieber.

Hey, Kash, Linda's looking for you.

Hey, kid?

Hey, like clockwork.

Hey, Lip, anything on this radar?

Hey, maybe we can talk the electric company

Hey, Tony.

Hey, wasn't that bad.

Hey, what are those huge round green things in the back?

Hey, you get... oh.

Hey, you get... oh.

Hey, you got my SIM board?

Hey, you try starting this thing

Hey! Good morning.

Hey! Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, Jasmine.

Hi. Hi.

Hold it...

Hold on. You got more takers.

Holy shit.

Homeless winos ten deep at the door

Hope I can talk you

How does Mr. Osama Obama expect us to survive on that?

How long you been stealing cars?

How many signed up for today? Nine.

How much is that?

How much is that? One bag should do it.

How old are you, eight?

How old is Jody?

How serious are you about this one?

How the hell did that little guy kick Kurt fucking Landis' ass?

How was last night with Jasmine and grandpa?

How was work?

How would you know?

How's it going? Go away, Frank.

How's things at Goldman sachs? Going well enough for me

How's work?

How's your remodel coming?

Hugo.

I bet that you could break it now. You know what?

I can give you some worms

I can loan you the money.

I can make PB&JS instead, but I'm gonna need more bread.

I can tutor you.

I can't do it.

I can't do this anymore.

I can't hear you.

I could beat your ass. You're on.

I could probably wrangle you

I could run with you.

I crapped myself.

I didn't break it.

I didn't mean for that to...

I didn't think he could punch me with a foot.

I don't know

I don't know, a couple hundred pounds or so.

I don't know, but we're good for it.

I don't know. Jody and I don't want the physical

I don't know. We got to talking about music yesterday,

I get paid Friday. Okay, I'll figure out the rest.

I got a shift at the nursing home in the morning.

I got my running shoes in the car,

I got tased twice, man.

I got tasered for like a second,

I got to get the kids going.

I got to get upstairs.

I guess I'm a patriot.

I guess they've been together for years.

I guess.

I had mom move her rainy day fund

I had nothing to do with that.

I have done everything I can think of,

I have looked everywhere.

I have to leave town. Come with me.

I haven't decided if I still like you.

I hid her atm card, too,

I hope so.

I I I'll bring you your money,

I if, if I had won, I wouldn't expect you to pay me.

I just couldn't do it.

I knew that.

I know you love the old racist bastard,

I know. Baby, I know. I got carried away.

I left them.

I like you, Fiona.

I love you. I want to be with you.

I mean, coach thought I might be able to.

I mean, you really want to get your ass shot off

I met him.

I might even make it to the mailbox.

I might know a guy.

I moved it.

I need money.

I need my own room.

I need privacy to undergo

I promised her that I wouldn't sell

I ran distance.

I ran track in high school.

I said bullshit!

I said, out! I'm in trouble.

I still think it's fucking stupid. Fuck are you...

I think I might be in love with him.

I think I might have really screwed up this time.

I think I was kind of falling in love with her.

I thought maybe I could hook you two up.

I thought your ass was my drink.

I tried to make enough that I...

I turned the tv up after "fucking colored people."

I waited up until after midnight.

I want another baby.

I was in the bar, I made this stupid...

I was only out there for 45 minutes!

I was thinking I should start a garden. You should.

I would if I was smart.

I, uh, I can't find my watch.

I'd need, like, a 4.2 GPA, a massive sat score,

I'd want to know he was going south.

I'll be back, buddy, I promise you.

I'll bring him back when I'm damn ready.

I'll get us a table.

I'll get you your money We can work this out.

I'll go change, grab a shovel.

I'll go chase the rats out of the coolers.

I'll see your grand and add nine more.

I'm a girl.

I'm exhausted.

I'm fast. Oh, really?

I'm gay. I know.

I'm going to be a woman soon.

I'm going to go down there and blow the cunt's head off.

I'm gonna start drying what I can, but that won't fetch more

I'm gonna take care of this, all right?

I'm his father, we need time together.

I'm not

I'm out of the house!

I'm sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste, just in case.

I'm sorry, Fiona.

I'm take the PSATS for some Polish kid.

I'm too old to start over now.

I've been speaking this language for the last 50 goddamn years.

I've been worried sick.

I've got a table.

I've waited a long time

Ian, cover the register.

Ian, tell Kash to get his ass up here. I need him.

Ian, you just graduated the tenth grade.

Ian. Oh, yeah.

If I don't get

If Sheila does go to work,

In a few days, she's gonna make it to the store,

In a given area at any given time.

In about a week or so if he doesn't stab anybody else.

In bed with the lights out by 10:00.

In my whole career, I've never seen such a spectacular display

In purchasing a six foot tall pot plant?

In some stan somewhere?

In the mirror.

In the park this summer.

In this neighborhood?

Into taking a down payment,

Is a foot patrol over by the play structure.

Is Dr. Frank's magic moneymaking

Is Mr. Todd here today?

Is that even legal?

Is the reason I got into teaching.

Isn't it wonderful?

Isn't that what we always do?

It says here you can re dedicate yourself as a virgin.

It seems like there's a lot more cops

It was a joke, you know?

It was really discouraging.

It was some kind of stupid, fucked up adolescent phase.

It wasn't a fair fight, though.

It's a cop locator.

It's a turn of phrase, like, uh, uh,

It's about time.

It's all in the compost.

It's all in the compost.

It's an admissions packet.

It's been crazy exciting to see these cubs

It's good.

It's my kid.

It's not gonna happen, Debs.

It's not that traumatic.

It's not your fault.

It's on your wrist.

It's primo stuff.

It's probably time for her to think

It's the least we can do to thank you for your hard work.

Its fair share of law enforcement resources?

Jasmine, this is Veronica.

Jasmine's told me a lot about you.

Jesus Christ!

Jesus loves you.

Jesus, you really don't remember what happened last year?

Jody.

June 3, 1997.

Just friends? Friends who like to do this.

Karen Jackson? After that thing with your dad?

Karen, the omelets are ready!

Karen's.

Kash, I'm off. Can I go?

Kash!

Kash.

Keep Liam.

Kev won't mind. I can't.

Kev, you still got that taser back there?

Kevin, there's a couple of tons of weed down here, and I'm black.

Kick him back, you're punching like a fag.

Kid threw 72 pitches yesterday.

Kids up yet?

Knock, knock. Hey, debs.

Ladies, hey?

Later, mama bear.

Leaving a family of three to fend for ourselves.

Left the engine running

Liam and Frank aren't at Sheila's.

Liam had me up half the night

Liam stays.

Liam?

Liam.

Life.

Light it up, get him up.

Linda gone?

Linda,

Linda's got preeclampsia.

Lip, who the hell around here has two grand for a plant?

Listen, I I got a lunch date, I got to go.

Listen, look at me.

Listen, why don't you help us with it?

Little Charlie had a major diaper malfunction.

Live this lie.

Long Island,

Looks like old man Dave is beating your time, Romeo.

Looks like the pussy had the right idea.

Lots of blood.

Love you. Love you, bud.

Maker's Seven, and four Stellas.

Making a little easy summer moola the Gallagher way.

Man's got no sense of responsibility.

Man's in love with his own fabulous self.

Mangis, that Ulin kid

Margarita no salt, Chivas Neat and a Jack Rocks.

May be time to give up on the 22 year old grad students,

Maybe a little snow for this hot

Maybe that's what I want.

Maybe that's what I want.

Maybe?

Maybe.

Mickey home again, huh?

Micro robotics surveillance drone prototypes.

Minimum wage... at best.

Mm hmm.

Mm. Late night?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Molson's?

More than three or four this year.

Mosquitos, bratwurst and gallons of Budweiser.

Move.

Moving Liam into our room.

Mr. Kevin is going to help

Much less keep standing.

My dad.

My favorite was called Guns N' Roses.

My fucking money, I'm cutting toes off

My guaranteed

My I've never seen it fail summer solstice atm.

My own room?

My red worms have been working overtime this year.

N no, I don't want to watch my language.

Nada. Fraternal loyalty doesn't extend to stupidity, bud.

Nah, nobody wanted the odds.

Nah, that's it, get me my shotgun.

Nah. He's Dominican.

Neighborly.

Never gonna get him out.

Never heard from again.

Never heard of Guns N' Roses?

New guy? Jody.

Nice shirt.

Nine o'clock.

Ninety nine...

No bullshit this time?

No bullshit.

No fucking way.

No Liam.

No problem.

No sex. It's a part

No shit. What record did you break?

No way, there's three of us in that room.

No, and Sheila hasn't seen him.

No, he doesn't...

No, I landed

No, I'll swing by

No, no,

No, that's,

No, you listen to me,

No, you're not, it costs too much.

No.

No.

No.

No. He didn't come home again.

No. No, not a chance.

Nobody's heard from Eddie?

None of God's bounty ever needs go to waste.

Nope. Closest unit

Normal, normal.

Normally I throw a bunch of seeds around,

Not a chance.

Not a fucking chance, Frank.

Not very. Good.

Not you, Johnny appleseed.

Now we'll be lucky if we can bank enough to get us to Christmas.

Now, Ian.

Now, where the hell is our brother?

Nowadays, we're trying to short Euros

Of alcoholism. Thank you.

Of some whorehouse in Calcutta.

Of this whole Sex Addicts Anonymous thing.

Oh, and don't wake you unless there's blood

Oh, and please, no gluten.

Oh, and, uh, Frank took Liam.

Oh, it's way too late for breakfast.

Oh, shit.

Oh, so, what, the army requires straight A's now

Oh, ten grand, you believe that?

Oh, watch, customers.

Oh, we just did. No, no, no, no, no, absolutely you can't...

Oh, West Point?

Oh, with who, David Petraeus?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. What's my type?

Oh, yesterday it was Nixon and Jimmy Carter.

Oh, you think these boy scouts

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay,

Okay, home sweet home.

Okay, let's watch.

Okay, okay, okay, okay,

Okay, okay, okay, stop!

Okay, ready?

Okay, then, the zoo.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right.

On her tomatoes? Yeah.

On the truck at one time.

On your mark,

On your mark... Yeah.

One hundred!

One of my fighters pussied out on me, I had to fill in.

Only that you're fabulous, smart,

Only thing I know I can pass for sure is the fitness test.

Ooh.

Ooh. Hey, there you go.

Or exposed bone.

Oral sex, orgy, big black strap on dildo.

Order's up.

Our marriage.

Parent pickup time. Mm.

Pay some fucking attention this time.

Peace. Thank you.

Pharmaceutical assistance.

Plastic fork Barely broke the kid's skin,

Pool, Dr. Oz, twinkies and milk, parent pickup.

Pool's open!

Princeton?

Probably has him out panhandling again.

Probably masturbates while he licks his reflection

Probably not, but you can fix anything.

Put the candy back, now.

Ran away.

Really? That'd be great.

Rematch?

Rich guys like a pretty girl on their arm, so,

Rigging up a GPS system

Right, but you're a teenager. I mean, all teenagers

Right.

Romano twins, Cami,

Round two

Said he was taking him to the zoo.

Says you can not get tasered twice

Scary, isn't it?

Science just turns me on.

Scumbag freeloading Frank stories.

See any exposed bone?

See what he's up to.

See which looks best, thin out the rest,

See ya.

See you tonight?

Seems like it works out for everybody.

Seems like such a waste. You got

Seems like such a waste. You got

Sex addicts anonymous.

Sex addicts anonymous.

She annihilated me.

She hung up on me.

She probably did his taxes, then did him.

She smoked my ass.

She was a track star. You ran track?

She went to the store.

She went with a guy to her group.

She's a keeper.

She's going to fucking kill me.

She's probably in the basement

Sheila's single disability check?

Shit.

Shit.

Should about do it.

Should about do it.

Should we wake Fiona?

Shows me where all the cops are

Since last summer?

Six more Diablos, a JB back, Ketel One up with a lime wedge,

Six?

So cool to watch this week.

So don't even try taking that again.

So Ethel's been helping us out.

So Greece will go bankrupt.

So he's going to help me rewire.

So how much do you think you've got growing down here?

So loud you can hear him through the floor.

So they don't fall.

So, Mickey's out soon, yeah?

So, what did you think, Lip?

So... I'm off for my walk.

Some ap engineering or physics credits

Some government issued pork in my pocket.

Sorry I'm late. I slept through my alarm.

Sounds pretty brokeback to me.

Stan's yelling again,

Start banging in your own decade.

Still on for today?

Still owe you a beating from last year.

Story time, nothing scary.

Summer scorcher?

Sure, I guess.

Sure, take a bag.

Sure. Where you going?

Sure. Yeah?

Taco eating, wetback meter readers to come here

Take 'em down to the border

Take off his shoes.

Teresa's got inventory at Costco.

Than a couple grand or so by Friday.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks, debs.

Thanks, lieutenant.

That a regular thing?

That baby laxative?

That Jeff's been using on the new kitchen linoleum.

That uses police frequencies for coordinates.

That was great last night.

That's for screwing my husband.

That's it.

That's not Well, sure.

That's the money that we count on to get us through the winter.

That's what rich people like to do.

That's what you call trying to take out the trash naked?

The alibi before work,

The bitch didn't speak one word of English.

The ice cream truck, you know, keep it stocked all summer?

The marsh pride nursery has been

The mulatto?

The ob wants her in bed for the rest of her pregnancy.

The only mistake they made was fucking with me.

The power off to the building.

The time that you were gonna break? It wasn't a big deal.

The twins are going to be late for swim team at the mosque.

The upcoming traumatic transformation.

Then teach me!

Then teach me!

Then the hair salon, alibi room.

Then you better start shooting.

There was a chance I was gonna make state.

There you go.

There's Cinderella.

There's lucky charms in the pantry

There's no way you got tasered twice,

These cubs are five weeks old now

They like to spend their money.

They must have made some mistake.

They sleep a lot at that age.

They're all so beautiful, I just...

Think I may need some field hands.

Think it still runs?

This better be somebody who's about to give me a gigantic tip.

This is Mexican cartel, 60 years in the federal slammer pot.

This is the robotics lab. It is the best in the country.

This isn't, got pulled over