Aziz Ansari Soundboard Edit

And it's awesome.

And it's scary as shit.

And that's exactly how that shit went down.

Are you shit me, man?

Bam.

Give me a hand job. I'll give you my coffee table.

God damn, you're really good at this game.

Hey man, you gonna blow your nose or am I gonna have to listen to you have the sniffles for six fucking hours?

Hold up. Don't do that.

I don't do anything. I take naps all day.

I don't know by cards, I'm just a possum.

I like the way this guy talks.

I wanna see some titties.

It's the greatest idea ever.

Like in the homophobic army.

Look, Wilson.

Man, it's not gonna be that bad.

Man, that's a really specific answer.

No, fuck those guys.

No, no, no.

No.

No.

Not really my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.

Ohh yes that happened. Sure.

Quit being a bitch.

Sorry.

That movie is incredible.

Watch it. Chill with your accusations.

Watch out, motherfucker.

Well, how slutty can you be in five seconds?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!? #what #shock #confused #omg #aziz ansari

What a cool guy.

What just happened? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What kind of crackhead terminology Zen?

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

What the hell does that mean?

What?

Whoa, that's kind of a weird deal.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jesus. This is way too intense for me.

Why did you do that?

Why?

Yeah, I do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, I agree it's disgusting.

You are my man.

わーす。